my friend who got me into inuyasha has now gotten me into yu yu hakusho....espeacily hiei and kurama :D sorry for those waiting for updates on tears, but i really am not in the mood for that right now, and no ideas. i hate writers block....
shouen-ai, hiei and kurama...ect. ect. ect.
Stopit.
Just stopit.
Smile again, please smile.
Ever since that last battle I haven't seen you happy... Not even the slightest glimer of a smile. Nothing. Just.. sadness.
It hurts.
I want you to be happy.
I want you to be able to be able to reach out to the sunshine like the plants you love. It's my fault isn't it? Because of what I said. Now you either hate me.... Or you're afraid of me. I don't know whitch one's worse.
I really am an idiot aren't I?
Me and my godsdamn arrogance. You were in trouble, and I scoffed at you. I insulted you. It really was the only thing I could do. You were giving up, and I couldn't save you. So I yelled at you, called you an idiot and coward. Well, your anger- at me- got you going again, gave you the stength to win... But the price was too high. Yes, you're alive, but you're not mine. You never were really, But you let me see you as you really are, you let me see the hurt soul you are, but never show. You're likeme in that way, you won't let others see when you're hurt.
Exept me.
Somedays, you'd come looking for me in the park, and I'd watch over you as you cried over life. Sometimes you'd let me hold you as you cried.
But you haven't come in weeks. I've seen you alone since that day, only when the others were there... And your eyes held that look that I'd come to reconize as the look you held when life was being too hard for you to hold it together. But you didn't come. And each time you seemed sadder...
Everytime I saw you, you were so sad...
I wanted to hold you ...
Like you let me those few times.
You truely thought we were friends didn't you? You thought we were just friends at anyrate....
Oh how I loved you...
Love you...
Not matter how much you hate me for it... If you knew. Whitch is why I never told you. I didn't want you to hate me...
But now look at us...
You hate me anyway.
Because I did what I had to to save your life.
And that was hurt you.
Now you hate me.
Now I hate myself.
I want thigs back to the way they were...
Just friends is better than you turning away from me everytime you see me.
Did you know I spy on you at school whenever I can?
Did you know I love you?
No, you never did, and now... you never will.
Because I did what I had to. I made you fight, I made you LIVE....
Mabye you wanted to die....
But I'd never let you die...
Mabye I'm selfish to think that.
Then again, mabye I just love you.