Sigh, lately I've been getting too emotional from being away from my computer for so long (6 days in the woods felt like 2 weeks...[TT---too attached]). Sigh, now that I look at the simile I used in the chapter before (look below in "Previous Chapter" section), I'm sort of disappointed in myself--it's cliched! Bad me! Bad me! .! Oh well, enough of my rambling, I better get the disclaimer over with...
Disclaimer: Pensieve000 is typing away at her computer. The CCS gang pops out of nowhere.
"You don't own us!"
"I know that! You don't have to rub it in!"
Previous Chapter:
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Tomoyo giggled as she watched her childhood friend run out the door red as a tomato. He definitely changed, but what she didn't know, was that something never did...
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The pale moonlight streamed into the rooms of the homes of the slumbering residents of the quiet town of Tomoeda. A song in night played, with its assortment of chirps from the crickets and the sounds of rushing water from outside. The beginning was simple and played softly, almost making no sound at all, then moved on to stronger, louder notes. The crescendo escalated to detailed musical measures, causing his hands to fly across the keys. The piece was drenched with emotion—sadness, confusion, and regret—all the feeling was sensed by anyone who heard it. The notes slowed, softened, and then stopped. Eriol stood up from the lone piano bench, and leaned against the window of the music room. His eyes searched the sky, watching as the ethereal lights dotted across the dark blanket.
He thoughts kept drifting back to the reoccurring dream he was having ever since he returned to Japan. He bowed his head down, bangs covering his ocean-blue eyes.
Eriol's Dream
Eriol woke up in an empty field filled with peonies, dandelions, lilies, wildflowers, and poinsettias. The sky was a creamy peach color, and the setting sun shone through the clouds, forming bright pinks and yellows. Even standing up, all he could see was a sea of colors, and there was a fragrant smell of the flowers in the air. He came across a small pond, and vivid lit fireflies droned along its waters. His reflection was clearly seen in the pool, as well as his features.
He knelt down; one arm rested on his knee, while the other gently splashed the pond surface. An eerie glow of bright colors illuminated from the bottom of the water. Startled, he backed away from the pond a step, watching its surface with curiosity. The pool rippled, and faint images formed upon the sparkling mirror. Eriol's eyes widened at what he was gazing at in the water. It was a memory. One of him and Tomoyo, those many years ago…
Flashback
The young, raven-haired girl sat on a swing of Penguin Park, her head looking down at feet. She was no more than 12 years old, dressed in an elementary school uniform. A boy walked up from behind her, concern readable in his eyes.
"Are you alright?" He asked immediately when he saw her.
"Oh," She said, looking up, "it's you Hiiragizwa-kun." The girl struggled to put up her mask, her defense against the world around her. "Y-yes, I'm fine."
"Are you sure Daidouji-san?" He could see traces of dried tears on her cheeks as she hastily tried to wipe them away.
"…Iie, I'm not. And you can call me Tomoyo, we're not in school right now."
"Then, what is the matter…Tomoyo-chan?" He liked the way her name sounded rolling off of his tongue, but he would think about it later. Right now, she needed comfort.
"It's just…I feel so alone right now. Ever since Sakura and Syaoran confessed to each other, she isn't there any more." He was Tomoyo's confident, her shoulder to cry on, her comfort. She could tell him everything; she didn't need to put up her walls, because he would just see through them anyway. She could spill out all of her feelings. Tomoyo trusted that he would keep it between them; Eriol was one who could keep a secret.
"Really Tomoyo? You know that I'll always be here for you." He could see how pained she was; she did love Sakura. If only he had possessed that type of love, the unconditional kind.
"Always?" She asked. She had a look of hope in her eyes.
"Always," Eriol replied simply. He would always be there for Tomoyo when she needed him, no matter what. "I promise."
She leaped up and hugged him tightly. At first, he was stunned by the sudden movement, soon relaxed and stroked her hair affectionately, though she didn't notice.
"Thank you very much Eriol…" Now, he thought about how much he liked his name when she said it. He would always be there for her—he promised at that moment he would.
End Flashback
The image disappeared back into the dark depths of the water, leaving him with painful memories. It was a week or two before he left Japan. He broke his promise, and damn it, he regretted it.
"Why did you have to leave Eriol?" A figure draped in a sundress appeared in front of him, who he recognized as Tomoyo. "Why did you have to leave me when I needed you most? You promised!"
Eriol was shocked; her voice echoed in his head, 'Why did you have to leave me when I needed you most!'
"Tomoyo, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you! It was just—"
"Just what? Was it because you hated me?" Tears welled up in her eyes.
"No," Eriol immediately responded to her words, seeing the expression on her face. "It was because I was scared that if I told you--"
"Scared if you told me what?"
"I loved you, but I was scared that I would be rejected! I still do!" He stepped forward to embrace her, but she moved away from him.
"I hate you. So it's too late Eriol Hiiragizawa, I'm with someone who'll always be there for me…" Tomoyo walked away, fading as she ran along the dirt path…
End of Eriol's Dream
"Can't sleep?" A light, melodious voice startled the reincarnation from his deep thoughts. Instantly, his eyes shot open and snapped his head up in surprise, hitting the back of it against the window he was leaning on. Eriol hissed and rubbed the bump, turning his head to the front of the room. As soon as the figure came into view, he stopped, and the pain from the throbbing became unknown. There, in the grand doorway of the music room, stood Tomoyo, her eyes glowing mischievously despite the dimly lit room.
Tomoyo wore a silk red nightgown, the fabric hugging each of the curves of her form, stopping at her knees. One of the straps fell to the side of her shoulder—she had been too tired to put it in its proper place. She shivered and tied her long robe closed. Her hair was somewhat messy; a few stray strands here and there. An innocent look was upon her face, as always. Her lips were curved into a small smile, looking all knowing and impish.
Knowing she let him stay at her house made him nervous enough.
After breaking out of his reverie, Eriol responded with a boyish grin, "Unfortunately, not tonight." After realizing her current state and glancing at the face of a grandfather clock on the east side of the room, then quickly asked, "I'm sorry—did I wake you up?"
"No," she replied shaking her head and giggling. "It's hard to fall asleep with Junshi's snoring." She walked to his side and cocked her head. "What's your excuse?"
He smirked and looked back to the moon. "My, my, Tomoyo-san, you sound like a child." Eriol briefly glanced at her to see her expression. She made a cute pout and put her hands on her hips.
"Are you inquiring that I'm childish?"
"Of course not." He chuckled teasingly. Seeing the slightly threatening look on her face made him quickly change it back to the original subject. "Anyways, I can't sleep simply because I've been thinking—" He stopped his sentence short. There was no way that he could flat out confess to her right now, was there?
"Thinking about what? Is there something wrong?" Tomoyo looked at him concerned, since Eriol wasn't someone who had problems. But then again, a long time ago, the case was the same for her.
Eriol thought about what he should tell her. 'How do I mildly put this, hmm? How about, 'I've been in love with you ever since we were children and I don't want you to get married.' Of course, he wasn't really going to say that, so he rapidly decided on something else. "Well, I've been having this reoccurring dream for a while now…"
"Maybe it's supposed to mean something? Dreams are what help us get through issues."
"That might be so…" Eriol paused, thinking back, 'I hate you. It's too late Eriol Hiiragizawa…' "Tomoyo," She turned her head away from the window to look at him. "Do you hate me?"
She was caught off guard by his question. Was there a reason for it? "Of course not, why would you ask such a question?"
He just shook his head. "It's nothing really. I'm just glad that you don't…Everything's so confusing now, I'm not sure about anything any more…"
"I hope everything turns out well for you Eriol-kun." She leaned against him, using her friend as support. Being up at this hour didn't make her any sleepier than she was a few hours before.
"Is there anything you want me to play? On the piano I mean." He tried to move to somewhere where it would give him more space. He moved to the piano bench; the sudden 'closeness' with Tomoyo made him uncomfortable.
"Nothing in particular…" She whispered, covering her mouth to yawn and took a place on the bench.
So he chose a soft melody, playing soft notes to compliment the peaceful scenery outside. Again, music weaved throughout the mansion, but this time, it was gentle and calm, unlike before when it was full of sadness and frustration. The last few notes played quietly, and Eriol looked to where Tomoyo sat beside him. It was only then that he realized that she had fallen asleep to the song, with her head rested on his shoulder. He smiled to himself, thinking that this was the closest he would ever be to her.
He had his arms around her—strictly for support, he told himself. Her tresses framed her face and the expression she had on proved her to be quite content at the moment. The strap of her dress was still off her shoulder. He pulled it back up.
Eriol scooped her up in his arms, and started for the upstairs. Besides, it was time that she went to bed, both of them actually. She nestled herself snugly in his arms, resting her head on the crook of his neck, and her hand on his chest. Eriol smiled, but it fell when a glint came from the small silver ring on her hand. It was then he had remembered that life wasn't well. He wasn't with Tomoyo. They weren't getting married. Heck, she didn't even know that he loved her. Reality splashed on him like a cold bucket of water—she was going to be wed to someone else, and he lost. And, things could've been different, perhaps if only he had told her how much he loved her when they were in elementary. Eriol shook his head vehemently since he never liked dwelling on the past, especially when it concerned her.
He brought Tomoyo to her room. She was still being carried and asleep, and he tried not to wake Junshi up. He lowered her onto the bed and pulled the covers to her chin, taking a look at her before leaving.
Just looking at her made his heart flutter. Just looking at Tomoyo made him happier. When he was a boy, he had been stripped of his childhood before it even began because of Clow's past, causing him grief. But Tomoyo, she seemed to take it all away; with her smile, her warmth, and the unmistakable aura that floated around her. Whenever Eriol saw her, the pain seemed to just…dissipate. She was the only one who made all of his pain—from the past few years, or his previous life as Clow Reed—go away. The thought painfully tugged at his heart—their relationship was platonic, and would remain so after she got married.
With that thought lingering on his mind, he ran quietly out of the room. He just wanted to lose himself—think of anything—except for the bond with himself and Tomoyo.
I didn't really like this chapter. I think it was because of the italics in the dream/flashback sequence--or maybe it's just because it was written a while ago and the style sucks -.-;;. I'm sorry if the italics made it hard for you guys to read. And to stop the confusion this chapter caused, Eriol is staying at Tomoyo's house (weird, I know -.-;;). The fourth chapter is coming, just wait and see! If the honorifics said from Eriol to Tomoyo changes, I want to apologize in advance. Anyway, I feel like I should hurt myself, I mean, Tomoyo and someone besides Eriol???? Anyway, review or wait what seems like forever for the next chapter!