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Last time

I went into job late, got fired, went with my boyfriend to the movies, he dumped me, went over to my friend's house, saw her incredibly hot husband and clearly going to be hot kid, felt worse, and now I'm here, writing… And now I'm talking to a book… what the hell, I really don't have a life. I'm going to go pick up a guy now.

My New Man

Okay, so I'm still writing in this blasted thing. But, it is a bit fun. I get to let out all my issues and I don't have to worry about the whole Wizarding World knowing about them in a few days.

I did pick up a guy. You will never guess who it is, come on… guess. Ok so you can't but that's beyond the point.

Ok so I was driving my car. I was so hot! I had on this really tight black top that had a really deep V neck and black pants. My hair was its natural beauty except I put this stuff in it so it isn't frizzy. I really need to get Hermione some of that stuff, she needs it.

Anyhoo, I was driving and I stopped at the Chinese store to pick up some egg rolls to eat on the way to the party that I was going to crash.

Now, everyone at the store knows me so well that they know exactly what I want so I don't have to order any food; I just get it and pay.

Also, whenever there is a single man that they are serving they tell me so I can walk by in all hottiness.

So, I got there and my friend, Julie, told me there was a single man in the back. I decided to use my geniusness and get him to take me to the party.

"Um, excuse me I was wondering if you knew where The Piggy Butt bar was. I was looking for a new place to dance and was told that there was a great bar near here."

The man looked up and I swear I had a heart attack, "Ginny, Ginny Weasley? I haven't seen you in forever. How's life?"

"Um, great. What about you Colin, what have you been up to?"

Yes, it was Colin Creevy. I hadn't seen him since Hogwarts. And he is HOT! He has got incredibly hot blonde hair. I always go for blonde hair guys. The only guy that I ever liked that didn't have blonde hair was Harry. Anyhoo, he has an awesome body and he clearly works out often. He doesn't have all those zits that he had at Hogwarts either and his voice is really sexy and low.

I CAN'T BELIEVE I ASKED HIM WHERE THE PIGGY BUTT WAS!!!

"Oh, I take pictures for the Daily Profit. Um, do you want to sit down? I'm almost done with dinner and I do know where that bar is. I go there all the time."

So I sat down and talked to him, hoping that the people at the club didn't notice me.

Well, we go there and my worst dreams occurred.

We went and sat down at the bar. The bartender came up, "Hey Gin, can't get enough of us, can you? You were in here, what, two nights ago. Normally you wait at least a week. Oh well, you want the usual right"

I was HORIFIED. Bobby, the bartender, wasn't supposed to be there tonight. It wasn't his shift! He is on Tuesdays and Thursdays, Johnny, another one of my many exes, is on Mondays and Wednesdays, and Melissa, one of my best friends, is on Saturdays and Sundays.

Melissa and I have a deal. When I have a guy with me, she pretends not to know me. She also herds all of my many exes away from me. Then I am happy and I get her a guy. It works very well and that is why I only pick up guys on Saturday.

I tried to use the what-are-you-talking-about-you-stalker look. It didn't work. "Um, what are you talking about? I haven't been here before. You must have me confused with someone else" I tried to get that oaf of a man to understand but he just smiled and said, "one minute"

Colin is, apparently, smarter then when we were in Hogwarts. "So you haven't been here before?" he did this whole you-know-im-hot-cause-you-lied-and-im-irsitable-and-you-know-it-so-ha look as he raised his eyebrows.

I snorted. I know, I know it's not the right thing to do in that situation, but it was the only thing I could think of doing.

And then disaster struck.

Bobby came back with two of my exes.

"This is Ginevra Weasley, right?"

"Yeah" said Robert. He really is a lot uglier than I thought, not to mention he's jealous

"And you dated her right?" first off… what the fuck!!!! What does that have to do with anything?

"Um, Yeah?" Robert is clearly not AS stupid as I thought. He knew that I was going to kill him…. He learns fast. Oh, I should probably tell you, he was sleeping with some whore behind my back. I sure hope that kick I gave him prevents all future children that he may have.

"Hubert, did you date Ginny?" the idiot was talking to another one of my exes. I should probably tell you that I have a new ex every week. I think the guy I had longest was… um…. Oooo….. No….. Um….. Dean? Maybe, I don't know. I've had so many, I can't keep up.

"Sadly" the bastard, I taught him how to not gag the girl when he's trying to tongue her. He will regret that!

"And does she come here often?" Oh I know why Bobby is such a bastard! I wouldn't sleep with him while we were dating! You see, I don't sleep with every guy. Contrary to popular belief, I don't sleep with many men.

"Oh, yeah. Um, at least every week"

And at this point I decided to intervene

"You bastard!!! You're still jealous because I dumped you!!"

"You dumped me? You dumped me?"

"DUH"
"actually, I remember you crying your eyes out when I dumped YOU. You begged for me to take you back. You, you WHORE"

"I think you're talking about that slut that you dated to get over me. Wait, no, SHE DUMPED YOU TOO"

At this point I changed from Hubert to Robert. I actually like Hubert, he's a good friend. And he's gotten me out of some sticky situations

"And you, you! WHYARE YOU HERE? Shouldn't you be sleeping with someone. BEHIND YOUR GRILFRIEND"S BACK???????

His girlfriend smacked him and I figured I would stop there

I didn't even bother to talk to Bobby. I just punched him. It was actually quite amusing, he did this BIG "OOF" I then kneed him in the groin and pulled Colin out of the bar.

I started babbling about hell knows what. I just talked on and on and on and on. Colin wasn't even listening. Or at least I don't think so.

Anyhoo, I was babbling and then he just kissed me. I was actually REALLY stunned! That normally doesn't happen

"You are just the girl I have been looking for to date. Funny and wild and fiery and hilarious! So will you be my girlfriend?"

And I was stunned. AGAIN

"Sure"

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