To say things have changed quickly, would be an understatement. I had no idea that once things fell into place, and I got my head on straight things would finally be going my way. For so long I have done what was expected of me, my duty…I want something for me. And I have it, and I am happy. I can not believe it.
So I guess I am a bit awe struck.
Pete, came into my life like a hurricane. I wasn't sure in the beginning, but now, I couldn't be more sure. I am happy, he gives me something to look forward to every day. And no not just the Stargate and where we might go. I want more then that, I need more then that.
He asked me to marry him, and there was not any other answer then YES!
It was one of the happiest days of my life. He took me to the park, we had a picnic together as the sun was setting, it was so romantic.
We decided that we were going to move in together a few days ago. I know its going to be a change for me, but I think I am going to be okay. I mean I haven't lived with anyone in so many years, I know there are going to be some difficulties, but I am looking forward to them.
The arguments, the making up… and well the other things that come along with making up, if you catch my drift.
I spoke with the General the other day, showed him my ring, he seemed happy for me.
I don't really know what else I can say about him, for a while I was waiting, wanting more from him. But then one day it was like a light being switched off… and then it felt like it was all over. I was upset for a while, felt so alone, like I was never going to find happiness. I would go home at night and cry myself to sleep most nights. Sad huh?
Now, I feel a sense of loss, we don't speak as much as we used too. I miss that, I miss him too. I think he feels that he can no longer talk to me, spend time with me.
I know kind of what he feels like, I feel the same way. Like I can't approach him anymore, that he is way out of my league. In a way he is, I mean he is still my commanding officer, he is the CO of the base.
Talk about unapproachable, I mean why would be want to talk to me about the little stuff that's going on in my life?
That thought in itself makes my eyes water.
We used to have time for each other, we used to want to spend time with each other.
It all seems to long ago.
Pete and I, we are happy together, not that it's the same relationship I had with the General, but I think we are happy.
He keeps telling me that we need to set a date for the wedding, if we are so happy, then why can't we set a date?
I am happy though, I am really happy.
I know that doesn't make any sense but its true.
I have always wanted to get married, to have a family of my own. Children…I can not wait to have children.
Pete and I haven't really spoken about kids, but he knows I want them and well we really haven't been taking all that many precautions.
We have been looking for here as well. I am hesitant about putting mine up for sale, since it was after all my parents' house, but we are looking.
Pete put in for a position here in Colorado Springs police department. I don't think he will have a hard time getting a job much of anywhere.
Janet is coming over tonight, girls night in, its gotten really to cold that I really do not feel like going out anywhere tonight.
I have a feeling we are going to be doing a lot of talking about our 'men' if you may. She and Daniel have been getting closer by the week now. I hardly see her or Daniel anymore, we have gone on a few double dates together to the movies and such. Although I think Daniel is having a hard time getting used to Pete, he is getting better.
I am really happy for Janet, she seems truly happy.
Oh and there is a knock at the door now. "Hi Janet."
"Sam, I come bearing gifts and news."
"Ice cream and movies! Come on in Janet, let me get the wine." I say as I move towards the kitchen.
"Sam, you might want to leave the wine."
I stop dead in my tracks.
ooOOOOoo