Previously in "The Strangest Courtship":
Professor McGonagall's distinctive voice was now quite audible; she was closer than they'd thought. Without pausing to knock, James and the others burst into the closest compartment, Peter slamming the door behind them.
But when James looked up his breath hitched and his face reddened to match the flaming hair of the girl before him; for not two feet away, clad only in a black bra and panties and her ubiquitous disheveled red hair, was a very angry Lily Evans.
Chapter Three:
On the Hogwarts Express, Part TwoFor a minute, the six students just stood there, thunderstruck. James was bright red but nevertheless staring with awe and desire in his eyes, his gaze pinned to Lily's creamy skin and round breasts; Sirius was looking hungrily, lustily at Lily, a low growl emitted from somewhere deep in his chest; Remus had quickly averted his eyes, but was still blushing madly; and Peter had let out a nervous squeak.
It was Arabella (luckily already in her robes) who broke the tension, by throwing a robe over the paralyzed Lily and stepping in front of her. Anger flashed in her eyes for her friend's embarassment, and she confronted the Marauders.
"Who do you think you are!" yelled Arabella. "You burst in here like you own the train without even knocking, you don't shut the door when you see that Lily's obviously indecent, and then all of you except Remus—for which, Remus, by the way, you have been redeemed of all prior evils in our minds—just stand here gawking at her like your contraband "Playboy" magazines! You disgust me!" Having finished her speech, Arabella blew some angry air out of her cheeks and continued to glare at the boys.
None of the Marauders knew what to say. As if he wasn't already uncomfortable enough, James had noticed that his pants had become extremely tight; he was glad he already had his robes on, or else he might be victim to further fury. Worst of all, each of the boys knew that they were completely in the wrong, but admitting to mistakes was taboo for the Marauders.
Sirius was the first to recover: "Damn shame you're going to be covered up by those massive robes all year, eh, Lily?" he said with a lascivious smile. Apparently this was not the right thing to say, because Lily exploded.
"How—dare—you—even attempt to hit on me?! Now, of all times!" she was spitting out her words like poison, and all the boys cowered. "You think that just because you're popular your idiotic come-ons are going to calm me down or win me over or something? Huh? You know what? I'm a prefect; I'm taking fifty points from Gryffindor—yes, my own house!—and if I had the power to give detentions I would have you four—well, not Remus, I suppose—I would have you three scrubbing cauldrons into next year! You Marauders had better not come near me or Arabella again unless it's to apologize, which I'm sure is a word not even in your measly vocabularies. Now leave!" Lily finished, pointing her wand at the door so it sprang open.
Wordlessly, the Marauders shuffled out the door and heard it slam behind them.
"Damn," said Sirius. "Looks like my task is going to be a little tougher than expected, eh, James?"
James nodded glumly; normally the news that Sirius didn't have a shot in hell with Lily would have made his day....but the situation dictated that James, also, had just ruined any sliver of a chance that might have existed for him to date Lily, and so he suddenly didn't care anymore about Sirius. He just got as close as he was ever going to get to Lily—it was all over.
Sirius, however, seemed not to notice James' somber attitude. "But then again," said Sirius with a small grin quirking at his lips, "I always have enjoyed a challenge."
Within the compartment, however, Lily was fuming. "I can't believe—and they just burst in—without—and then—they just—I can't—" said Lily, struggling to articulate her anger.
"Whoa, calm down, Lily," said Arabella. "Just think about it as being the same as if you ran into them on a beach, and you were in a bikini."
"I don't even like wearing bikinis! You know why? Because I feel like I'm in my underwear!" said Lily loudly.
"Geez, Merlin you're loud," commented Arabella. "So fine, they saw you in your underwear, and I agree that I, also, would have been mortified in this situation. But—"
"There is no 'but'!" interrupted Lily.
But to Lily's chagrin, Arabella continued as though she had never been interrupted at all. "But," she continued, "you must concede that none of the boys were teasing you, because first of all, I do think they were just as shocked as you were, and second of all, they really seemed to like what they saw." Lily reddened at this and looked even angrier, but Arabella hurried on before Lily could interrupt her again. "So, Lily, that is a sort of a compliment—albeit a perverse one—to be so attractive you cause the Marauders—the fucking Marauders, Lily—to lose the ability to speak, and to taunt. That, my friend, is quite a feat."
Lily felt confused. She had to agree that Arabella was right on some level, but none of her friend's strange, comforting logic could erase Lily's utter shame at being seen so, especially by the four boys she held the least respect for—and the four boys who would be sure to use their new, erm, information to prank Lily in one way or another during the coming year. She sunk down on one of the compartment's benches, her robes billowing out around her, and buried her burning face in her hands.
"This is going to be an awful year," she sighed.
In the next chapter....Sirius turns on the charm and James....smells nice....
A/N: I know, I know; time for the annoying author's note where I beg you to review. But notice the speed of my update? It's like with dogs: if you reward them, they continue the good behavior. So give me a biscuit!