I hadn't remembered the Pogue ever being that full. I immediately saw Garrett sitting on a bar stool talking to the barmaid. Eddie was sitting in the corner. He waved me over.
"Uncle Garrett, Uncle Garrett, look at what Mommy did to my hair," a little girl yelled as she ran out from one of the back rooms. I froze to take her in. She had beautiful chestnut brown hair that fell in curls down her back. She had soft features and high cheekbones. Her eyes danced when she talked. She had the most beautiful, striking honey colored eyes. I stood speechless as Garrett hoisted her up on his lap, so the little girl could finish her story. I quickly walked over to the table so people wouldn't realize that I was staring.
"That's Calleigh. She'll make her way over here soon enough. She knows that I have a birthday present for her," Eddie said as I sat down.
"She looks a lot like Jordan," I said. I couldn't help, but to smile at the little girl talking to Dr. Macy.
"She does. Jordan's a good mother . . . things have been tough since Max died," Eddie commented.
"Calleigh, you need to go find Eddie. Remember, he wanted to see you," I could hear Jordan say. She looked beautiful. She looked more beautiful than I ever remembered. With those comments, Garrett set Calleigh back on the ground. The little girl made a beeline for our table. The instant Calleigh reached us, she started asking Eddie a million questions about catching bad guys and if she could hold his badge. Eddie more than happily let the little girl hold his badge.
"Who are you?" Calleigh said as she examined me.
"I'm a friend of Eddie's," I replied. I knew it wouldn't be fair to say that I was a friend of Jordan's or Nigel's.
"Are you a cop too?"
"I'm a cop too," I replied. Calleigh smiled. She seemed to like that. Eddie gave her a birthday present. He had gotten her her very own badge . . . although it was a fake one. Calleigh was thrilled; she threw her arms around Eddie's neck. I wondered when Eddie and Jordan had become such good friends. They had spent most of their time at odds. They had often fought about Eddie's treatment of Max. I wondered what changed.
"Princess, Mom needs you to go get ready to go home," Nigel said. I startled when I heard his voice; he was standing right behind me.
"I don't want to, Daddy. I want to stay by Uncle Eddie," Calleigh pouted.
"Your mother will have my hide and yours if you don't," Nigel said. Calleigh seemed to understand; she unwillingly slid off Eddie's lap and marched back to Uncle Garrett . . . then off to find Jordan. She had a flare for the dramatic much like Jordan always did.
"I hope that Calleigh wasn't bothering you . . . Gods knows she's a little more of a social belle than Jordan and I can handle," Nigel said with a sigh, "I'm afraid that she would walk off with just about anyone . . . this is the one time that I wished she was a little more like her mother."
Eddie laughed. I laughed too.
"Nigel, you remember Detective Hoyt," Eddie said. I turned to see the color drain from his face. He mouth was slightly open and he was speechless.
"Nigel, you have a beautiful daughter," I said as I stuck out my hand to shake his hand. Nigel still looked like he had seen a ghost.
"You're back," Nigel replied. I self-consciously pulled my hand away.
"I'm back," I replied.
"Nigel, I need to get going. Tell Jordan that everything is ready for Calleigh's surprise party tomorrow. Abby is ecstatic about seeing Calleigh . . . I think that's the only thing Abby has been excited about in a long time. I keep on telling her to babysit for your spitfire before she gets pregnant," Garrett said. He turned to leave, but stopped once he saw me.
"Dr. Macy," I said. I saw a flash of anger in his eyes. I didn't dare say more.
"You stay the hell away from Jordan," Garrett said before he turned on his heel and walked off.
"Woodrow, she's rebuilt her life . . . don't hurt her again," Nigel replied as he shook his head. He walked away without another word. I hadn't meant to hurt her. I never wanted to hurt her. I thought that maybe I was doing her a favor by not being here to hurt her.
The table was silent for a moment.
"Thank you so much for getting Calleigh a birthday present. You know you don't have to do that," Jordan said as she sat next to Eddie. She looked like she stopped breathing when she saw me. She looked at me with her mouth slightly agape. I was surprised that everyone I had come back to Boston to see ended up walking right up to me.
"Jordan, how are you?" I asked. It sounded like an awkward thing to say; so many years had passed and so many things had changed.
"You're back," Jordan replied. I didn't answer my question.
"Hey, Jo . . . you going to be okay?" Eddie asked as he nudged her a little bit. He wrapped an arm around her. I wondered why everyone had suddenly become so damn protective of her. I wondered when I became the enemy.
"Yeah, Eddie, I'm going to be okay. Do you mind staying and closing with me? Nigel is going to take Calleigh home. I'm not too comfortable being alone here after the robbery last week," Jordan said. She looked like she was pleading with him. I had never seen her look so vulnerable; I knew her reasons. She didn't want to leave her daughter as her mother left her.
"Can't tonight . . . gotta work. You want me to send an officer by to watch you walk out?" Eddie asked.
"I can stay . . . we have a lot to catch up on," I said. Jordan looked at me funny; she moved a little closer to Eddie.
"Jordan, he carries a gun . . . you can identify him in a line up if he pulls anything stupid," Eddie said trying desperately to joke. Anything to break up the tension at the table.
"I don't know if Nigel would think it was a good idea," Jordan replied. I wondered when she had become so passive.
"Jo, I'm a phone call away if Woody does anything to piss you off . . . you don't have to talk to him. He can sit in the corner," Eddie said trying to negotiate some terms.
"I guess . . . Lily and Bug have Lamaze tonight . . . Nigel has Calleigh . . . Garrett . . . well, he couldn't hit the side of a barn with a cannon," Jordan said trying to come up with as many reasons as possible why it was a good idea. I was surprised that she needed to work so hard to make it even sound like a plausible idea.
"Jo, you call me if Hoyt gives you a hard time. I have to get going. I promised Calleigh that I would catch some bad guys for her," Eddie said. It made Jordan smile.
"You talked me into it . . . just make sure you catch the bad guys or Calleigh will give you hell," Jordan said as she slid out of the booth to let Eddie leave. She hugged him; he whispered something her ear. She nodded.
"Watch her," Eddie said, "Make sure to be on time on Monday."
"Mommy, Daddy and I are going home. Daddy wants to know if you want him to wait up," Calleigh said as she ran up to Jordan. Jordan kneeled down to adjust the hat and mittens on the little girl.
"Tell Daddy to put a plate of leftovers out for me. You, be good for Daddy. I love you so much, sweetie," Jordan said as she pulled her daughter into a fierce hug. Calleigh pulled away and kissed Jordan on the cheek.
"I'm going to be good, Mommy. Daddy said that he was going to read me a book and that we could have hot chocolate," Calleigh replied. I was surprised that how much that girl could talk . . . talking definitely wasn't one of Jordan's strong suits.
"I wish I could be there. Daddy's waiting. I'll see you in the morning," Jordan said as she readjusted Calleigh's winter clothes once more.
"Good night, love. I'll see you when you get home," Nigel said as he kissed Jordan on the cheek. It wasn't a kiss I expected from two people that had a child together. I suddenly had a sick feeling; the night was so many years ago, but I could remember it like it was yesterday. I remember going to the morgue in the wee hours the morning on the day after Devan's funeral. The morgue was empty; Jordan had volunteered to work that evening. She said she needed something to get Devan off her mind. I remember going into her office. I'm not sure which one of us broken down first, but I remember holding her tightly against me. I remember making love to her on that tiny leather couch in her office. I remembered everything about her. I remember feeling so horrified that I took advantage of her; I left Boston a week later. I stole away in the night like any other coward would. I wondered if it could possibly be . . . I reassured myself that it couldn't possibly be an option. I reasoned that Jordan would have let me know.
"Good night, Nige," Jordan replied as she waved to her daughter. It was only eight o'clock; the bar wouldn't close for another six hours. Jordan already looked like she was dead on her feet. She must have worked today . . . came straight from the morgue to her second full-time job. Jordan said down on the bench.
"She's beautiful," I commented.
"She is . . . she's my world," Jordan replied, "Why are you back?"
She wasn't going to mince words this time.
"I thought it was about time I came home," I replied. I didn't want to get into a messy explanation about Sara . . . about Milwaukee . . . about how I apparently called out for her in my sleep.
"Things have changed, Woody . . . a lot has changed," Jordan replied.
"You and Nigel?" I asked. I wanted to know.
"You could say that . . . it's complicated, Woody," Jordan replied as she looked down at the table. I didn't want to ask her directly if she was living a lie, but I had to know.
"Are you happy?" I asked. I wasn't sure if I wanted to know the answer.
"I guess . . . I'm just busy. I'm a mom . . . barkeep . . . carpool mom . . . assistant chief medical examiner . . . Nigel takes care of most of the stuff at home. He loves Calleigh like she's his own," Jordan replied. Exhaustion must have caused that slip.
"He's not the father?" I asked.
"He's not the father . . . my daughter needed a father . . . I needed someone to rely on. Nigel wanted to be there . . . you sure as hell haven't," Jordan replied raising her voice enough for some of the people sitting around us to look our way. I had been right.
"I'm sorry," I replied.
"How the hell was I supposed to find you? You just slunk off into the night leaving me . . . I went through nine months of hell trying to find you," Jordan hissed at me.
"I'm here now," I replied. It sounded so inadequate.
"So what? You weren't here when I needed you . . . you have no claim to my daughter. As far as anyone is concerned, Calleigh is Nigel's. She has the best father I could hope for," Jordan replied, "You should go . . . I can close up by myself."
"I promised Eddie," I replied.
"Just go," Jordan said as she stood up and walked away. She was right that I had no claim to Calleigh. The little girl seemed perfectly content loving Nigel as a father. Nigel called her 'princess.' The way he looked at the little girl . . . I could see nothing but love in his eyes. I hadn't thought about the night in a long time; I hadn't stopped to think that I could have gotten Jordan pregnant. I hadn't stopped to think that she might have wanted me to come home years earlier. I would lose a little girl because I had been so self-centered. Home had changed so much . . . she had lied . . . home would never be right behind me again.
I got up and walked out of the bar. The air was crisp and few icy snowflakes floated from the sky to the ground. That little girl was beautiful. I wished I could have studied her features a little bit longer . . . just to see if I was indeed some part of her.