When people say life changes, things happen for a reason… they can go to hell.
This sucks.
Why is it always me that this happens too? Can I ask that question because I really want to know.
Why does everyone I care about always die?
This is really getting old!
I need to go find Janet, but I don't want to go outside this room looking like this.
God my stomach is killing me.
I have to know what's going on with the rescue mission, but that can wait.
A few minutes later Janet knocks on my door. All she has to do is look at me to know something is seriously wrong.
"Sam…Sam what happened? Are you okay?"
"I just…just got a phone call from….the…Denver Police…"
"Sam, it's okay, take a deep breath and tell me…I am right here for you." She said as she sat down next to me on my bed.
"Pete….he got shot yesterday…." I took her hands in mine, "He…he died last night in surgery."
"Oh Sam, I am so sorry." Janet pulls me into a hug and we sit there for a few minutes just crying.
"They said there was nothing they could have done."
"I am sure they tried everything they could of for him Sam."
"Yeah."
Ow!
"Sam?" Janet looks at me strangely.
"My stomach really hurts Janet."
"Show me where Sam."
So I did, and then she took me to the infirmary. Great! Just what I need to be somewhere public, when all I want to do is sit in a corner and cry.
By the time I made it to the infirmary I was wishing for one of those wheel chairs, I barely could walk.
Which just made me cry more.
God what did I ever do to deserve this?
When she had me in a bed, curtains drawn, she told me she was going to give me a mild sedative to help me rest, and hook me up to an IV.
I know I haven't been taking care of myself these last few days, but with everything that has been going on? How could anyone?
And now this, the life I wanted so badly, with a man I loved, was ripped away from me.
I don't want to have anything to do with anything right now; all I want to do is wallow in my self pity and not have a care in the world.
I don't even want to talk with anyone.
I want my life back, and that is never going to happen.
And to top it off I have a life inside me, that is already…I don't know, I want to say changing me, hindering me, complicating things…
Maybe if I wasn't pregnant, Pete wouldn't have been killed and the General wouldn't have been captured…
But that is cold, the baby didn't do anything to cause these problems, it's just here.
And I don't want to think that because there is no doubt in my mind that I would keep her and love her.
God what is wrong with me?
I am starting to feel really sleepy right now, Janet just came over to see how I was doing, and that she called in a specialist from the Academy to visit me in the morning.
She must be concerned.
Daniel is just a few beds down from me, the curtains are drawn so I can see him, but every now and then I hear them talking quietly.
I really need sleep.
Maybe when I wake up things will be all better?
I can't believe I slept through clear till morning, I have never slept that good unless I was injured, what did Janet give me last night?
I can hear people talking around me, but I am not awake enough to focus on them. I think one is my dad.
"Dad" I call out.
"Morning Sammy, I am here."
"What's going on?" My voice is raspy from sleep.
"The doctor from the Academy is here to see you, they are going to run a few tests and see what's wrong."
"What do you mean what's wrong?"
"Sam you have been bleeding pretty steady since sometime in the middle of the night."
Oh no, what have I done?