Utterly defeated, he looked Lily in the eyes one last time. Her wet hair framed her face like a painting, and her lip quivered; her eyes were full of fear. How had he managed to make her feel sad, and scared, and exploited, all while he was trying to win her over? "I'm glad you're okay, Evans," James muttered gruffly before pulling the invisibility cloak over the rest of him. And with that, James walked forlornly back to the castle, leaving Lily standing in his cloak once again, by the lake edge.
A few minutes later, James dashed a hand across his eyes at the same moment that Lily felt a warm tear roll down her own cheek. How had everything gone so wrong?
Chapter Eleven:
Sirius Suspects SomethingAfter that night with the Giant Squid, Lily and James avoided each other at all costs—James, because he was ashamed to see her; Lily, because she was disgusted with him. Because Sirius and James were virtually attached at the hip, Sirius had reluctantly followed when James suddenly stopped sitting with Lily and Arabella.
And while Lily was happy that James at least had the sense not to sit near her at meals anymore, she was hurt that Sirius would lose interest in her like that. Because he had been flirting. And, Lily realized the more she thought about it, she really wanted to be with him. But it appeared that she had just been another flavor of the week....
Sirius, however, was just as confused about the sudden shift in James' attitude as Lily was. After James had pointedly steered the Marauders away from Lily and Arabella for the past six meals, Sirius decided to confront his friend about the issue.
"Prongs," he said, settling down with a heaping plate of breakfast, "why are you making us sit over here, again."
"What do you mean? We always sit here," said James innocently, though his mind was racing in an effort to come up with a plausible reason before Sirius caught on.
"Well we used to sit with Lily and Arabella, and now suddenly we're back in our old spots. Is something up?"
"No—I just....like it better over here," said James awkwardly; Sirius was bound to figure something out soon.
"Like hell you do," snorted Sirius. "Maybe you just—wait, I know!" he said suddenly.
James' eyes widened. "No you—" he sputtered.
"Ha! It's so obvious, I can't believe I didn't see it before!" cried Sirius. "But Prongs, I thought you were a better friend than that."
James' heart sank....Sirius knew. "Padfoot, I can't help it—" he began to say, but Sirius cut him off.
"Can't help it my ass!" exclaimed Sirius. "James, I will forgive that silly lie, but I resent your using devious means to try to win the bet!" he said.
James gave him a questioning look. "The bet?" James said blankly; he had no idea what Sirius was talking about.
"Oh, come on," chided Sirius. "Just when I'm making progress with Lily you make us start eating over here so I can't work my charm on her! It's bloody blatant, James—be more subtle next time."
"Uh—" said James, speechless because of how wildly Sirius—his best friend, of all people—had misunderstood him. Under normal conditions, James would be offended that Sirius didn't know him well enough to understand what was happening, but at that moment, nothing could have made James happier.
Remus, meanwhile, raised an eyebrow at James while the corners of his lips turned up. He knew....but then, Remus had always been more perceptive than Sirius when it came to matters of serious emotions. But Remus understood James' predicament, luckily, so he did not intervene.
James decided to play along with Sirius' misunderstanding so that Sirius would have no chance of suspecting the real reason. The rule with the Marauders was no secrets, and so James should have told Sirius about his feelings for Lily long ago. But more than that, James knew that Sirius would feel like he had been jerked around, betted to take Lily out while James was also pursuing her....all in all, the situation would be very ugly if it came to light....but James had no intention of bringing the situation to light, so....
"Yeah, well," began James nervously, "I wanted to make it a little more of a challenge, you know." Now that he had begun his tangled lie, James became more confident and smooth in his demeanor. "In fact, I'm surprised you're so dim, Padfoot, that it took you six meals to figure out what I was doing." James paused—Merlin: he'd been counting how many meals he'd been away from Lily?! He had to rid himself of this horrible infatuation—it was turning him into a stalker and an emotional mess.
"Aw, Prongs, that's okay," said Sirius amiably. "But, now that I know, I'm going to sit with the lady. Come on, guys; the jig's up." Sirius stood to go to where Lily and Arabella were sitting, but James didn't move a muscle. He still needed an excuse to not sit with Lily, he realized. He certainly couldn't sit across from her at meals.
"We're already here," James said shortly. "Let's just stay here for the rest of the meal. The girls annoy me, anyways."
"I thought you liked Lily," said Sirius. James started—what?! Did Sirius know? "I mean, you guys seemed to get along alright," continued Sirius; James let out a long breath—Sirius had meant nothing by his comment. "Why the sudden animosity, Prongs?"
"Listen, I used to think she was okay, but now I just can't stand her, okay!" James burst out angrily. "She's bitchy and she has a hot temper and she's way too sensitive and she's a goddamn prefect, and we hate straight-laced people like her, remember? And why do we want to even be with someone who doesn't like pranks and does all her homework and is still fucking virginal and...." James stopped suddenly; what had he just said? First he had been talking about all the things he used to hate about her that he now couldn't live without; then he'd been articulating all the reasons he shouldn't, logically, be in love with her—but despite which, he was—and then....virginal?! Why had he said that? That was why he didn't want Sirius to be with her—what had he done? James held his breath and waited for it. It came:
"Virginal?" said Sirius with interest. "She's a virgin? How'd you figure that out—mmm."
"You fucking pervert!" said James. "You're disgusting; I don't even know if she's a virgin I just said she's virginal and why do you like that anyways she wouldn't even be a good shag and can we please just call off the bet?"
"You just know you're going to lose," said Sirius smugly. "And by the way, no one who looks like Lily Evans could possibly be a virgin, so stop wetting yourself with worry about that."
"But you said—you're so sick—why'd you—you wouldn't—" sputtered James.
"Oh Merlin, I was just kidding," said Sirius. "I may like a good shag but I'm not like that, okay Prongs? If I thought she were a virgin you know I'd have the decency to leave her be—I do have some feelings, contrary to popular belief—but Prongs, she's not, she can't be, so don't worry about it. It is sweet, but don't worry. And I'm going to win the bet, by the way."
James' mind was reeling. There was no way he could tell Sirius that Lily was, in fact, a virgin, without relating the Malfoy incident, which he had promised Lily never to speak of. And he didn't want to lose her trust anymore, but—this was for her own good—but no, he had morals, and he never broke his word. James pressed his lips together and vowed to end this horrible debaucle without anyone getting hurt. Hell, he didn't care if he got hurt, he didn't even really mind if Sirius—his best friend—got hurt; he just didn't want anything to happen to Lily.
"Aw, fuck...." James said sadly. Remus looked on with sympathetic eyes, but Sirius observed James gleefully:
"Told you you shouldn't have made that bet, Prongs," he said happily. "And I know you never break your word, so you carrying out your end of the bargain is going to be....unforgettable."
A/N: Alright, before I was able to hint at what was coming up in the next chapter because I would have already written the next chapter before I posted this one. Does that make any sense? But nonetheless, I'm now writing just chapter to chapter whenever I have time, so I will sometimes let you know what's up for Lily and James in the general future but not specifically in the next chapter. And thanks for all the great reviews, but certainly keep them coming. The only reason I get up these chapters so quickly is because of you reviewers. And I'm glad you all like the story--spread the word!