# There was once a boy who had a scar. The shape of this scar was peculiar, it was the shape of a circle...a peculiar circle. This scar was made by Lord Voldemort in an attempt to poke harry's forehead, when he was a child, and kill him with his wand. But this attempt to poke harry's forehead backfired on Voldemort, for he was pushing the wand too hard , and broke his own wrist. The wand, feeling this pain in the masters wrist , used the power it was about to use on the child on Voldemort, so his insides, and stuff blew up, and he almost died, but he was immortal, so he just dissapeared. But the boy, Harry Potter, still bore the strange circle shaped scar from the tip of the wand.

Harry was happy to be back at Hogwarts, the school of Witchcraft and Wizardry ( a school in which only wizard and witches know the location, and where everyone polishes there wands.), and away from his crack-job family, The Dursleys, who are all cross-dressers.

# His aunt(Vernon), uncle(Petunia), and cousin (Candy), formally known as dudley...

Like to "make it happen" on the corner of Privet-part Street. "Candy" being a tad hefty gets little to no "service" because "she" hit on poor anorexic Harry too much, causing Harry to be and obssessive wand polisher. His family was what the wizarding world would call "Muggles" (Humans with no magical stuff inside 'em, and are like...stupid)

# At Hogwarts Harry is free of this scary, disturbing lifestyle to enter a more "magical" disturbing lifestyle. Harry has two best friends. The first one is Ron, the one of about 6 siblings, of the Weasley family ( One that obviously dosent believe in packaged rubber). Ron isnt particularly original from everyone else, just a typical dirt poor teenager. Except of one thing, or one extra thing, I should say. He has three testicles, he calls the third one his rememberall because when he forgets something his testicle helps him remember that he forgot something by turning bright orange, and making small even squeaks.

"Harry," Ron said, "come on, lets go down to the library to visit hermione, maybe she can help me remember what im forgetting." As he and Harry walked down the corridor, his pants squeaking. They arrived at the library and there was Hermione, sure enough doing what she was always doing...the teachers. See, Hermione wasnt very smart, but she always go straight A's wink, she also has Turrettes Syndrome (a disease that makes one scream out obsene things for no reason and without warning)

"Hey Hermione...hey Proffessor MCconagal" Harry said drearily, as Hermione and MCgonagal got off of the library table.

"Oh hi SHITFUCKINGMONKEYS! Harry and Ron," Hermione said, "sorry but i must be SUCK ME going...Bye Proffessor." she said and winked at her, then rushed out of the library.

This was the first time Harry hadnt asked to watch. There was just something about a wrinkled old woman and a smooth skinned teenager that made his wand stand up straight. But today, he and Ron were going to Ron's brothers (Fred and George) Joke shop to test their latest inventons. When they arrived Fred immediatly thrust a self-wand-polishing machine into Ron's hands. Being the idiot he was, he tried it, and suddenly his "rememberall" stopped glowing.

"Thats what I forgot!," he screamed , "I didnt polish my wand this morning...Ahhh, much better. Fred and George giggled, extremely pleased they could help out there brother in this time of need. Harry looked around the joke shop, and jumped backward when someone screamed, "WHO'S YOUR DADDY!!" It was coming from the broom closet. He inched forward, and slowly turned the handle. His eyes grew wide when he saw the two entangled bodies.