I am not sure where I am going. But I have to get out of here.
Out of this state.
I know Janet and Daniel and everyone will be worried about me, and I will be in contact, but I can't just right now.
There is this strong need to be alone.
I am doing okay health wise I think. I have been really run down and tired for a while. But I think that's the added stress and miscarriage talking.
I hope it is anyway.
Janet told me to stay off my feet for a while, stay rested, and I should heal just fine. Physically.
I jumped on I25 and just headed north. I don't know where I want to go actually so I am just going to drive for a bit and see where I end up.
I know I can't drive for long…. My stomach is already starting to protest me sitting up for to long.
Its funny how you can live somewhere for so long, and not really see it.
I guess that's like my life, you can live it, but if you don't open your eyes and see, then you really don't live your life at all.
Denver is a real pretty city, really clean.
Oww, god I need to stop soon, I am just past Denver now. This is bringing tears to my eyes, god what is going on?
Man I wish Janet was here.
I wish I told her where I was going.
I can see its starting to snow too, to top it all off.
Can this day get any worse?
I have to pull over
I pull into this rest area and park the car.
I know I shouldn't have run. I still don't want to go back, but I don't want to be alone either. I have to call Janet or Daniel…someone.
Oww, must get out of the car must get out of the car.
Slowly I make it out and into the rest area. See stupid me left my cell phone sitting on the counter at Janet's. In my haste to get out quick, I left it there. So now I am stuck using a pay phone.
As I walk through the doors a group of people look at my funny as they pass me on their way out. Ignoring them I make my way towards the rest rooms were the phones are.
God why am I hurting so much?
I need to go home.
Finally, I mean how far away are the phones anyway.
As I dial Janet's number rain rips through me again and I just about fall over.
"Hello?" She answers the phone, panic in her voice.
"Janet…"
"Sam, oh my god, where are you honey?"
"Just north of Denver…Janet it hurts…"
"Sam…listen to me…Sam...you have to tell me where it hurts." Janet was pleading on the phone, Daniel was right beside her in an instant when he heard that she was talking with Sam.
"My stomach hurts…I was trying to rest, stay still…but god this hurts…."
"Do you want me to make the drive or should you call 911?"
"I think I can make it back to you."
"Are you sure Sam because I am not."
"I'll be okay Janet, I made it out here and I am not to far from home."
"I want you to go directly to the hospital Sam. Daniel and I will be waiting there for you."
"I am sorry Janet…"
"You have nothing to be sorry about Sam. Just get home alright?"
"I am sorry…" By this time I am crying and people are really starting to stare.
"Sam just make it home okay."
"Yeah…see you in a little bit."
By the time I make it back to my car, I am almost on my knees with pain. I know this isn't good, nope not good at all.
God I am so sorry.
I lean on my door before trying to sit down in the seat.
And that's where things go dark.