Emma's POV-

I watched as my father broke down. I knew that he would be sad, that he would want to help me. But he can't, neither can Mom, Morgan, or Aunt Carly. I'm going to die. My baby, is going to die. And I'm just here, waiting for it to happen.

Dad was just sobbing. And I have never seen him like this before, all of my life, my dad has taken care of me and my mom. Mom said that he's human, and when I was sick a long time ago, he cried. But until now, I could never picture it. I was causing them all this pain. Me. Somehow I knew I had to beat this. I would try every treatment, I would fight all my battles. And I would come out of this on the other side, me and my baby. Because, as much as this baby is a part of a horrible time in my life, I couldn't picture myself without it.

I couldn't tell you why she felt that way.

She felt it everyday.

And I couldn't help her.

I just watched her make the same mistakes again.

A long time ago I dreamed of the day I would tell my husband that I was pregnant. A long time ago I dreamed of being a mother, of being needed, of being loved. My dreams faded fast after the rape. My thoughts were always there. I drempt about it, Alex tying me down... taping my mouth... and raping me. It was always in my head, fighting to overtake me. And sometimes it did. Sometimes I felt like not being on earth anymore, sometimes I just wanted to go away, to not feel anything. That was before I knew I was pregnant. Now that this baby is inside me, I feel like I was given a second chance, a chance to shove it back into Alex's face, into Ric's face. I would raise this baby, and he or she would turn out to be the best person it could be. Because I would teach it right and wrong. Good and bad. And everything else. I needed someone to rely on me. And this baby is that person. Something that's mine, and mine only.

What's wrong? What's wrong? What's wrong now?

Too many, too many problems.

Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.

She wants to go home, but nobody's home.

It's where she lies, broken inside.

With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.

Broken inside.

My father had whispered that he would be right back and that he loved me. And then I saw him walk out of the door and hold my mother. And I was glad that they had each other. Glad that they could use each other to get through this. They would help each other get over my death. Because for some reason, there was no doubt in my mind that I was going to die. I could feel it. I knew in my heart that I would fight this with every bone in my body, but it wouldn't make a difference. Leukeimia is leukiemia anyway you look at it. And they didn't catch it soon enough.

Open your eyes and look outside, find the reasons why,

You've been rejected, and now you can't find what you left behind.

Be strong, be strong now.

Too many, too many problems.

Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.

She wants to go home, but nobody's home.

It's where she lies, broken inside.

With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.

Broken inside.

And then there was Josh. She really did love him, but he hadn't called her in so long. Maybe he was giving her time to heal? Maybe? No. probably not. I'm pregnant. He said he would help me! So where is he? Nowhere to be found! What kind of boyfriend is he anyways? Tells me he loves me. Tells me he'll be here. And he's not. And my parents! They care about each other more than they care about me! They're outside my room, hugging. Left me in here to deal with this alone! They say they care? They don't! NO ONE DOES!

Her feelings she hides.

Her dreams she can't find.

She's losing her mind.

She's falling behind.

She can't find her place.

She's losing her faith.

She's fallen from grace.

She's all over the place.

Yeah, oh.

I'm a smart girl. And I know that this isn't my boyfriends fault. And its not my parent's fault either. But I'm angry. I was just so close to accepting the fact that I'm going to be a mother, I was ready for my pregnancy, and now this? I just—I guess I don't understand why all of this is happening to me. I just think its not fair.

She wants to go home, but nobody's home.

Its where she hides, broken inside.

With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.

Broken inside.

She's lost inside, lost inside.

Courtney's POV

Jason was telling Emma something, I could hear him, but I couldn't make out what he was saying because my tears were falling too fast. Much too fast, and at an uncontrollable rate. For whatever reason, bad things were happening to my family. They just keep on coming, the blows getting worse and worse each and everytime. I feel like I'm sinking, drowning in my own life, I needed someone to pull me out.

I'm standing on a bridge.

I'm waiting in the dark.

I thought that you'd be here by now.

There's nothing but the rain.

No footsteps on the ground.

I'm listening but there's no sound.

I heard the door open and I saw my husband. It had been so long since I had seen him like this, eleven years, to be exact. Eleven years ago was the last time my daughter had been deathly ill. She made it through then, couldn't she make it through now? Jason came over to me and picked me up. I couldn't even see straight, my vision was blurry from the tears that just kept on coming. And he held me like he had never held me before. I buried my face in his chest and wished for a miracle. A miracle for my miracle.

Isn't anyone trying to find me?

Won't somebody come take me home?

It's a damn cold night.

Trying to figure out this life.

Won't you take me by the hand take me somewhere new.

I don't know who you are but I, I'm with you.

My thoughts traveled back in time, to Emma's birth. The first time I held her. It was magic. The look in Jason's eyes that day. More magic. My life was perfect then. And I wanted so badly for things to go back to being like that. Could they be like that again? Perhaps. Emma was pregnant. And if she makes it through this... no... when she makes it through this, she will be having a baby of her own. And that will be a special day. For her, for me, and hopefully for Jason. He would come to terms with her pregnancy, he would have to. My tears had just about slowed when, that is, until I saw my brother out of the corner of my eye, and the waterworks started all over again. He looked like he was going to be the bearer of bad news, so knowing I couldn't take anymore of that, I clung to my husband tighter and prayed that Sonny would just disappear. That all my worries would disappear.

I'm looking for a place.

I'm searching for a face.

Is anybody here I know?

'Cause nothing's going right.

And everything's a mess.

And no one likes to be alone.

Sonny made his presense known. And I heard Jason ask him to give him a second. Jason was all choked up. He could barely speak as he slowly released his tight hold on me, but keeping his hands firmly planted on my shoulders to keep me from not falling over, because I would have. Was he talking to me? I couldn't tell. Was I speaking back? There was no way for me to know for sure. But there was nothing I knew for sure anymore anyways...

Isn't anyone trying to find me?

Won't somebody come take me home?

It's a damn cold night.

Trying to figure out this life.

Won't you take me by the hand take me somewhere new.

I don't know who you are but I,

I'm with you.

Jason's POV-

My head was down and I was failing my child. I knew I was. I was failing my wife too. She was just outside the door, needing me to hold her. And I was just here, with my head down, crying on my daughter's hospital bed. As I finally gathered the strength to lift up my head, Emma was looking straight at me, and for the first time in either of our lives, I could not read her expression. It was blank, filled with fake hope. But I didn't know what she was thinking, and I didn't ask. I just told her that I loved her and that I would be right back. And I left the room. Honestly, because I couldn't look her in the eyes without breaking down right now. And the last thing she needed was her dad crying. I was helping the only way I knew how.

What we learned here is love tastes bitter when it's gone.
Past yourself forget the light, things look dirty when it's on.
Funny how it comes to pass, that all the good slips away.
And there's no one around you can remember being good to
You.

I exited Emma's room to find my wife, crying like she never had in her life. And I knew she could tell that I'd been crying too. I slowly walked over to her and picked her up. She was shaking and I knew that she wanted to scream in grief. I did too. So I took her in my arms, and she cried even more. Buried her face in my chest and completely let herself go. My eyes were filled, water was threatening to spill over onto my cheeks, into Courtney's hair.

Shame, shouldn't try you, couldn't step by you.
And open up more.
Shame, shame, shame.

The pain I was feeling right at this very moment, was unlike any other I had ever felt. In all honesty, I would rather be shot, I would rather be stabbed. Anything would be better than this. Hearing Courtney cry had been wrenching at my heart for the last five minutes, so I finally gave into my own tears, and I let them slowly slide down my cheeks, and they really were falling into my wife's hair, and then she cried more.

What we lost here is something better left alone.
Second steps have been forgotten, will you tell me how,
They go.
Set yourself, situate, like a fool try again,
There's no one around you can remember being good, for you,
So.

Thinking about all the times Emma had made me smile, I began to smile myself. The first time I saw her with makeup on, I was so angry, compared with the time she snuck a boy into her room when she was thirteen. I was so mad. My daughter brought more joy into my life than I ever thought possible, and for that, I was so thankful.

I heard Courtney gasp so I turned my head. Sonny.

We never thought we'd get so troubled.
We could never think that much.
It should never get this bad.

Sonny looked as if he was ready to break down. I didn't understand why he was here, to see Emma? No. because he had just called my name. Courtney was hysterical all over again, but I needed to tell Sonny what was happening. He needed to talk to doctors while I remained with my devastated wife. We would need him to help us through this so I gently released Courtney, and I tried to get her to look me in the eyes, but she was somewhere else entirely. I told her that I was going to make this better, that I was going to fix this, I needed to talk to Sonny. I don't even think she heard me. Courtney needed me to support her just so she could stand. But I needed support too, more than they would ever know.

So let the wind blow ya, across a big floor.
But there's no one around who can tell us what we're here
For.
Funny in a certain light, how we all look the same.
And there's no one in life you can remember ever stood.
For you, so.

AN so what did you guys think? That was a really hard chapter to write... lemme know how I did.

Song credit- "Nobody's Home" Avril Lavigne.

"I'm With You" Avril Lavingne.

"Shame" Matchbox 20.