All I want to do is go home.
But I am in the hospital, I know Janet is here and from the uniforms I think I am at the Academy Hospital.
I am hooked up to a bunch of machines my mind can't comprehend right now. I am so fuzzy.
God what happened, what did they give me?
I hit the call button.
"Sam…how are you feeling?"
I just look at her, like 'what are you nuts?'
"What did you give me?" "Sam…I…I need to talk to you for a moment." She looked at the nurses that came in with her, "Alone please."
"Okay Doctor." And they left.
Janet sat down next to me in the chair. She didn't look at me for a few minutes, whether it was not knowing what to say to me or if she actually wanted to tell me.
I know she did though, something had happened to me.
I can feel the emptiness.
"Sam…I am not sure how…"
"Janet, please…"
She reaches out and takes my hand in hers.
When she looks up at me, her eyes are filled with tears.
"Sam when you got here, you lost a lot of blood, you had…."
"Oh god."
"Yeah..Sam.."
"I had to go into surgery and you had to remove…"
She looks down at our hands, I am crying now and so is she, "I am sorry…but you can't have …"
"Children." I whisper.
"Yeah." We sit there in silence for a while, not knowing what to say to each other, but not wanting to leave each other alone either.
"Can I get you anything Sam? Do you need any more painkillers?"
"No, I am okay."
"Daniel is here…"
"I figured."
"He wants to say hello."
"I know, its okay Janet."
"Good because I think he is going to wear a path in the floor outside."
I have to laugh, that is so Daniel.
A moment later Daniel steps into the room and Janet speaks to him quietly for a moment before he comes over to sit in the chair she just vacated.
"Hey Sam."
"Hi."
"How are you feeling?"
"Okay I guess."
"I am sorry Sam."
"There is nothing to be sorry about Daniel."
"Yes there is."
"Janet and I we are here for you Sam, I want you to know that."
"I know you are, thanks Daniel." I know he's being sincere, he reaches for my hands and gives them a gentle squeeze.
"Did you talk to General Hammond?" I ask after a few moments.
"I spoke with him on our way here, I had to tell him Sam."
"Its okay Daniel, you did the right thing."
"Yeah." He says softly, "Listen, he gave me some news on Jack."
Okay I don't know how to deal with this. To be honest I hadn't thought about that in a few days.
I don't know how I could have forgotten though.
I just look away, not sure if I honestly want to know; but knowing that he is going to tell me anyway.
"General Hammond said he had contact with your dad and Teal'c today.
"Yeah?"
"He said that they found Jack."
"Is he…"
"He wasn't sure, but Teal'c and Jacob sounded like there was a chance that he was alive."
A smile crept across my face.
"I wish I could…" I try to sit up but he stops me. "Do more."
"Sam, the only thing you can do is get better and come back to us."
"That's not enough Daniel."
"Yes it is Sam. This is your mission now, get well Sam, take some time off, go away somewhere, them come back ready and willing."
I know he is right.
"I know."
"Jack is going to need you too Sam."
He is going to need me? I doubt that, but whatever you say Daniel, I am in no mood to argue with you.
We sit there in silence again for a bit and I can see Janet looking in through the window at us, waiting to come back in.
He turns and smiles at her.
"How's the patient doing?" She walks in and stands next to Daniel.
"Tired. Daniel told me about what General Hammond said."
"Yeah its good news."
"She wishes she could do more."
"All you can do right now Sam, is take care of yourself and get better. The SGC needs you, Jack is going to need you. But not if you are sick."
I know this.
"I am tired, I want to try and get some sleep."
"Okay Sam, Daniel and I will be right down the hall, if you need anything, just hit the call button."
"Okay."
And off to a restless sleep I went.