Janet came in, she was still in her scrubs, but her cap and gloves were off. She came to stand next to Daniel, she looked very tired.
"You okay?" He asked her softly.
"Tired…" was all she said as he took one of her hands in his.
"But surgery went well, we had to remove his appendix, he had a few bruised and broken ribs that needed to be repaired, he also has a concussion, and regular knee problems that keeping off his feet for a little while and some PT would cure."
"But he is going to be okay right?"
"Yes Sam, he will be okay."
Well that's a weight that's lifted off my shoulders.
"How are you doing? Any pain anywhere?"
"Not much Janet, I will be okay."
She looks at me for a moment to judge whether I am lying or not. She must believe me, "Okay well if you feel any worse, I want you to tell me."
"Okay."
"And now I want you to get some rest, he will be out for a while, and you need some rest."
"But…"
"No buts Sam."
I give up.
She and Daniel leave me to my own thoughts, geeze thanks guys.
All I make my plan on how to get into the recovery room to see Jack as soon as I can.
When did I start to call him Jack anyway?
Daniel and Janet went back to his office before going their separate ways.
"Do you think she will be okay?" Daniel asked.
"Yeah with some time she will be."
"I hope so."
"Me too, listen I am going to go back to my quarters for a little bit, try to get some sleep."
"I am going to stay here, work a little, I'll be up in a bit, see how Jack and Sam are doing…"
"Okay, don't work to hard."
"Rest."
The silent meaning was there, even though they did not show anything more while on base.
I watch as the shift changes and the night crew comes on. There are less people at this hour, which is fine. Janet moved Jack a few beds down from me again and shut the curtains so he could have as much privacy as he needed.
She came and talked with me for a little bit, told me that in the morning I could go and see him.
Yeah, well I am going to go before that, Janet just isn't going to know it.
Some patient I am.
But it beats sitting home alone.
So I watch as the nurse does one last check on him then head to wherever she was going, and we were left alone.
I creep over to his bed and slip between the curtains, there is a chair vacant next to his bed where Daniel, Teal'c, and my father had sat earlier.
God he looks so pale, so…not the Jack O'Neill I know. Janet had told me he had his appendix out, and that he had a few broken ribs and bruised ones, but the sight in front of me, I was not prepared for at all.
Most of his chest is black and blue and he has black eyes and his lip is cut, his knuckles are all scabbed over. There is a large white bandage that is covering what is left of his chest.
What did I do?
How is he ever going to forgive me?
I slowly sit in the chair next to him, what am I ever going to do?
I can't lose him.
My pain is nothing right now compared to what he is going to be going through. God I did this to him.
And now I am crying again, but I don't even bother to hide the tears, there is no one around anyway to witness them.
Slowly I reach out and gently wrap my fingers around his, and I rest my head on the edge of the bed.
Maybe sleep will come.
It did because the next thing I remember is hearing muffled voices from behind me.
"She has been there all night Ma'am."
"Why didn't you wake her?"
Clearly it was Janet and one of the night nurses talking quietly.
"Colonel Carter needed her rest, and she wasn't, I heard her for a while just pacing by her bed, and she isn't bothering him."
"How is the General?"
"He has showed improvement through the night Ma'am, he should be waking up anytime now."
"That's good, Thank you."
The nurse took that as her dismissal and left.
I could hear foot steps coming closer and I opened my eyes.
"Sam? Can you hear me?"
"Yeah…" Urgh if I thought about it, sleeping like this was so not going to be good for my back.
"Stiff back?"
"Yeah…Janet, look…"
"It's okay Sam." She paused for a moment, "He is showing signs of improvement this morning."
"That's good to hear."
"Yeah, we should try to wake him in a few hours."
"Can I…"
"Yes you can Sam, I wouldn't expect anything more."
"How about some breakfast? You up to taking it slow to the commissary?"
Yes!!!!
"I am up for it Janet."
I can feel my back protesting as I stand as well as my stomach. My stitches are starting to itch and I am cramping due to the position I was in all night long.
"Sam, are you okay?"
"Yeah, just don't let me stay in that position all night again okay?"
"You should have stayed in bed like I told you too…do I have to make it an order next time?"
"No, I just…I wanted to make sure…"
"I know you did Sam, but you should have known that I would tell you if something was wrong. You need to take care of your body Sam, it won't heal if you don't."
"I promise Janet."
We had a quiet breakfast together Daniel came and joined us for a while before he went back to work. He told us that General Hammond had needed him on a mission with SG-3 and that he would be back in a few days.
Janet of course was worried, but he was taking Teal'c with him as well, so there was nothing to much to be worried over…right?
I told her he would be just fine, and that in a few days when he came back she should surprise him with dinner.
We talked for a bit longer before she was paged that General O'Neill had woken up.
My stomach is in knots again.