Signed, Anonymous
Chapter Eight:
I Love You

Eric Camden wasted no time in finding his daughter help, even if she wasn't there at the moment. He knew that counseling alone wouldn't help Ruthie through this. She wouldn't be able to stay here, he knew. There had been others, others who had kept this kind of terribly painful secret in for so long, they hadn't been able to hold onto their sanity. Had they come to him, Eric could have been able to find them the help that they needed. He wouldn't let that happened to Ruthie. He absolutely would not.

There was a really good clinic in New Jersey, but he wasn't exactly searching for that state in particular. He was hoping for something in Buffalo, New York, something that would be closer to his parents. If he got lucky, Ruthie would be able to have some sense of family. Besides, if anything happened to her on the off chance, they could reach her faster.

Calling in a few prayers, and possibly pulling some very important strings, he was able to find something near Buffalo. It was a small clinic, but size didn't matter. He knew, or at least had heard of, the people who ran it. Some of the doctors who worked there were good, religious men and women. Medical wise, they were some of the best doctors one could ask for.

Eric printed out the informational page, and began to dial numbers, daring to not skip a beat. He was determined to make this work.

Lucy sat with her mother in the master bedroom of her childhood home. It was dim, giving the room a chilly feel to it. Annie was clutching a Kleenex tissue, staring a hole through the doors that led out onto the second floor balcony.

"He was right," Annie whispered, her voice sounding low and hoarse. Slowly, she looked away from the glass doors and crossed an arm over her stomach. "Eric was right," she repeated.

Lucy, who had been chewing on the inside of her cheek, studied her mother. In these past few hours, minutes even, she seemed to have aged ten years. Her skin color was drained, worry lines running in every direction creased her forehead, and the corners of her mouth were being pulled down by some unseen force, molding them into a deep frown that wouldn't go away easily.

"What?" Lucy asked, not following.

"God, how could this happen?" Annie asked, more to herself than to her daughter, who had been griping about sex with Kevin more than anything else for the past few days. Annie found herself going back in time, desperately trying to figure out where she went wrong. She was so ready to believe that Eric was wrong, constantly telling him as much, but in reality, she was the one who was incorrect. She hadn't even tried to get to the bottom of things, which was one thing, as a mother, she always did.

Lucy was still not understanding anything that was coming out of her mother's mouth. Nothing made sense anymore, and Lucy decided to just let it go. Whatever happened, happened, and she would have to cope with any thing that was thrown her way, no matter how big or small. After the loop that she was ruthlessly hurled through with finding out that Ruthie was the one who had written that letter, was something that she would be coping with for the rest of her life.

One thing Mrs. Kinkirk couldn't figure out was why Ruthie just didn't come to her with that kind of information. She had hoped that Ruthie knew that that was what sisters were for: telling things that couldn't be told to the parentals. All that aside, Lucy was the one who was studying to become a minister, which also included counseling credentials - not Peter.

"I wonder if they'll find her?" Annie suddenly said, managing to rescue Lucy from her thoughts.

"They will. Kevin's a cop, he finds people for a living," Lucy joked, trying to lift her mother's mood. This solemn and broody crap wasn't good for either of them.

A deep sound generated from deep in Annie's throat, and Lucy counted that as an attempt at a chuckle.

"Ruthie's going to be fine, Mom. If any of us know Dad, then he's already found something to help her." Lucy placed her hand over her mother's.

Annie looked to her, and Lucy gave her an encouraging smile. The older woman nodded and took her daughter's hand as well.

"I love you, Luce."

Lucy's grin widened. "I love you, too, Mom." She threw her arms around Annie's neck and kissed her cheek. It was in that moment, Annie knew that Lucy was right: everything would turn out for the better. It almost always did.

"You know, you're kind of hard to find in the dark," he told her as he squatted down beside her. "But I guess that was your goal."

She hadn't known how fast she had run, but she didn't care. The only thing that was even remotely important to her, was to get as far away from her family as she could. Had she been thinking rationally, she probably would have stayed behind, perhaps had even offered some sort of explanation. It was just her though, acting upon her first impulse, no matter how stupid it was.

Now, the jig was up. She had been found by none other than a member of her family, Mr. Matt Camden, who often referred to himself as a doctor. She would have rather been picked up and forced to go home by a police officer, one whom she was not related to.

Ruthie wiped fiercely at the tear streaks on her face and sniveled. "Yeah, it was," she spat, putting up a facade.

Under her palms, the grass was cold and wet, the knees of her jeans absorbing most of the moisture into the fabric and soaking through to her skin. She had found herself in the park, dropping down on all fours, gasping for sweet air.

Long since then, she had caught her breath, but losing her composure. Being alone in the dark allowed her to cry, allowed her to finally scream out loud. Getting out of the house turned out to be a blessing, for her emotions were no longer repressed. Out here, she was able to express the true pain she was experiencing with no one to gossip about her, or to throw her hateful glances.

"Get up. Let's go sit on that bench," Matt suggested, already feeling his knees cramping.

Thankfully, Ruthie obliged and they two sat side by side on the nice and dry bench. it took Matt a moment to gather his thoughts, collecting what he had learned in school about what to say in these situations. Counseling was Lucy's area, but he wasn't bad at it either.

"I wish that I could take back everything that was done to you, Ruthie. I really do. I wish that I could make things better for you here. I wish I could go through this for you, but I know that this is something that you have to do on your own," Matt began, watching his sister's expression stay the same, not acknowledging anything he was saying. "I've dealt with women who have been raped, and I know it's not a pretty situation to be put in. There's a ton of emotions to sort through and figure out."

Ruthie sighed. For the first time that night, she looked into his eyes. Like another before him, Matt experienced Ruthie's pain through just her gaze. He realized that she was completely open, allowing him into her troubled soul.

"Matt, could you please stop with all of your doctorly advice and just be my brother?" she pleaded.

Matt closed his mouth, rubbing his lips together. Ruthie's eyes were glistening in the moonlight, and he knew that she was ready to be comforted. He nodded and let her fall into his arms.

All Matt could do was hold her tight, and hope that would be enough - for now.
Her body shook as her loud, messy sobs echoed into the night.

"I love you, Ruthie."