Disclaimer: All in the Harry Potter world belongs to Rowling.
Chapter Fourteen: Desire Leads to Suffering
--------------
It was nearing October and Hermione was feeling the weight of the Yule Ball pressing on her. Every prefect's meeting they were asking about it.
"What is it going to be this year?"
She stalled as best she could, but set herself up for failure with the "It's a surprise," stall. Now the Gryffindor Prefect had to 'wow' them.
"It's not like you to procrastinate, 'Mione." Ron said. "Really, you can tell me… I'm your best friend. What's it going to be?" Ron looked up hopefully, looking tall but more youthful when he did that.
"Educational, Ron… now stop pestering me."
Ron stood back wide-mouthed when she left his side, muttering after her, "She can't mean that. She can't… I have a date and everything."
Having postponed long enough, Hermione marched toward Dumbledore's office to meet with him about the Ball when she unexpectedly crossed paths with none other than Lucius Malfoy, con-artist extraordinaire, the slippery political animal who greased the wheels of justice to suit him. Even named as a Death Eater the previous year, he was still successfully avoiding prosecution, miraculously remaining on the school's governing board. Hermione wanted to believe that his 'continued service' to the school was owed in some small part to Dumbledore wanting to keep an eye on the bastard, but that was wishful thinking. The man glowed in the dark, Dumbledore hardly had to keep him on the school board to watch him and— like Umbridge's appointment, Dumbledore probably did not have a choice in the matter. The name of Malfoy was hard to miss, the Order had eyes throughout the ministry and at least one member in the Death Eaters that Hermione knew of. Hermione strained personally to extend a cold hand of tightly restrained tolerance his way.
"Mr. Malfoy, a surprise to see you here," Hermione said with blank expression.
"Miss Granger? Is it not?" Lucius breathed in with a look as if he had smelled something foul. "I do hope you have recovered from your injuries last May…"
"Thank you for your concern, sir. But I will feel so much better once those who were detained last spring have been prosecuted, don't you?" She hadn't wanted to go there, but he was making veiled threats already.
"You filthy…" Lucius spat toward the girl he knew only as Mudblood and an obstacle in the way of his son's education.
"Good day, Mister Malfoy," was Dumbledore's cold but calm dismissal from the topmost stair. Even his quietest statements could appear a bellow. The elder wizard radiated power with his mere presence. Dark wizards may have called him an old fool, an idealist, a crazy man— but he was feared and for good reason. "Miss Granger. Come with me please."
She ascended the stairs and immediately forgot why she came to see him. It was something about Christmas, but she was stumped at Lucius Malfoy daring to come inside these halls.
"May I ask what Lucius Malfoy was doing here?" Hermione asked, spitting the name of Malfoy across her lips as a curse.
"Since you are on the Yule Ball Committee, indeed I believe you are the committee, am I right?" She chuckled uncomfortably and nodded. "Then I should say that the school board is looking closely at the school's extracurricular activities. Hogsmeade weekends, Christmas holidays, and the Yule Ball will be monitored by representatives during those functions. I have suspended all future Hogsmeade weekends… for an excuse I haven't made up yet," he said over his spectacles with a knowing twinkle. Dumbledore was playing the game well and he was trying to keep contact with Malfoy to a minimum. "However, Mr. Malfoy will be present at the Christmas dance, as a… guest."
A guest, Malfoy Senior at our school dance as a guest. Hermione was unable to speak for a moment. She blanked out and could not remember why she was there.
"I'll make sure everything goes smoothly, Professor." Her voice was hollow and Dumbledore was somewhat distant in his thoughts as well.
"I'm sure you will, Hermione. If you don't mind, I have some things to address. We can talk again soon?" She nodded absently and left.
-------------
Daphne rushed up to Pansy after class and whispered to her. Pansy clapped a hand over her mouth and then charmed her cloak pin. Hermione met them minutes later, safely tuck in the secret wards of the Room of Requirement.
"What is it? Is everything okay?" Hermione was already thinking the worst. Someone succumbed to desire and lost their virginity.
"Tell us, Daphne." Pansy said.
Daphne Greenwood took a deep breath. "All this time I've been looking for a place big enough for us to cast. But I now know where we should do it. And when." She looked nervous. Something told Pansy and Hermione they weren't going to like this.
"Okay. Shoot." Hermione urged.
"The place that's big enough is the Great Hall," Daphne began as Pansy snorted. "And we should do the spell," Daphne continued, "during the Yule Ball."
"Holy crap! You're serious!" Pansy exclaimed. It was absurd.
"Why then?" Hermione asked, taking her seriously.
"One of the benefits of the spell is that it offers lasting protection to all who stand within it. All of us are worried you-Know-Who will attack Hogwarts. This way all the students can be protected. We can make attendance mandatory," Daphne suggested.
"For the whole school? It's only fourth years and up!" Pansy said. Good point.
"What else?" Hermione asked her to go on.
"The Great Hall has doors and it's a controlled environment. It'll be easier for us to hear each other and signal, and gives us a reason to all be in the same place at the same time. In addition I believe we are using a spell of blessing?" Pansy and Hermione nodded. "The people we bless will be there. Everything fits. I've been reading and when we cast there will be a vacuum of magic in the circle, that way no one can stop us. If everyone in the school is in the circle then we're free to complete the incantation without interruption."
"Plus when the wards raise we can travel through them for a short time. It'll be safer to appear straight inside the castle's walls instead of the open spaces of being on grounds," Hermione thought aloud.
"Really? Why would we need to do that?" Daphne asked, a little puzzled.
"Yeah, Hermione, why would we need to do that?" Pansy needled. She had been keeping something from her.
Hermione looked down. "Daphne, thanks for your suggestion. I think you're right. Good work. I know you've been racking your brain and this is so difficult. We should meet soon to discuss it. I need to meet with Pansy though okay?" She nodded and left. Trust enough had been establish to permitted the private plotting of the co-leaders. It looked anyway like Pansy was going to explode.
"I just read it last night and was going to talk to you." Hermione confessed.
"Just read what?" Pansy said coldly.
"We have to leave Hogwarts immediately following the spell."
"What?! You're crazy! We can't leave, it's dangerous out there! It's safe here." Pansy was yelling and lecturing.
"It won't be once we raise the wards. I have a feeling Lucius Malfoy is going to try to bring them down some other way. Professor Dumbledore told me he is coming to the Yule Ball in his position on the school governor's board." Pansy had the good sense to look horrified. "It's a school dance, Pansy— not a hearing for the Wizengamot. Malfoy coming to something so ordinary cannot be good. He got off and assumed his post like nothing happened. We need to disappear because I read… here." Hermione pointed to the offending passage and laid the book out for Pansy to read.
"Wards can be broken in the first period by killing all of the casters…oh shit." That's bad, Pansy thought but plausible. She sighed and rubbed her face. "What are we going to do? We have two and half months to prepare! Where are we going to stay? Anyone could find us."
"I have part of that figured out already, but you're going to need to trust me." Pansy raised an eyebrow. "We need twenty untraceable portkeys."
"Sure, no problem," Pansy said with thick sarcasm. Granger had lost her mind. "And how are we going to do that? Portkeys are controlled items and that's no easy spell." Pansy asked in a non-chalant way.
"Luna." Hermione answered.
------------
Severus Snape was a man who preferred his solitude, but he wasn't a complete hermit. Despite his idiosyncrasies, he did not avoid interactions with the other staff. In fact, one could say that Snape was exceptionally shrewd when dealing with people. He was salty and abrupt, even rude, and while he deliberately appeared to go out of his way to misunderstand or be unfair, it was mostly an act. Snape was an excellent judge of character though he didn't always reveal his impressions. At least he had good instincts when it came to people who didn't relate personally in some way to him.
Recently he had noticed in his own House, that there was a surprising amount of camaraderie amongst the girls— with Pansy and Millicent of all people the ringleaders of the group. They rallied around Melanie after her return and Snape couldn't help but feel a bit of pride seeing these students come together in a way most unlike Slytherin house. Of course Slytherin protected their own, but they were a suspicious lot and usually only did things unless there was something in it for them. Even if some students were sugar and spice, the surrounding classmates quickly taught them the meaning of politics. No one crossed Malfoy, Crabbe or Goyle. Marcus Flint had been the previous tyrant and it had taken quite a lot of energy from Professor Snape to keep him in check. It was a relief to have him gone, Draco was far easier to manage through intimidation, and Crabbe and Goyle were bullies without the sense of a niffler.
His students looked really surprised when he walked in the girls' dorm. It was dinnertime and a surprising number of them were missing. Despite the changes in Voldemort's plans it was disconcerting to see so many gone, including Melanie. They were seated cross-legged on the floor clapping and snapping their fingers. Through the dormitory door, he heard a lot of laughing, some chanting too…
"Hey little thing let me like your candle cause… I sure hard to handle, yes I am…" More giggling and clapping.
"No, no, no… that's not it," Linda laughed, "the words aren't even right!" tears streaming down her face. They clapped in time again and gasped at his intrusion. They looked caught, but Snape thought they merely looked surprised to see him in their dorm. The last time he came it was to notify a student of their parent's death. It was no wonder they weren't happy to see him.
"I'm glad to see all of you are enjoying yourselves," he said with a crooked smile, attempting to lift their somber expressions. "But others are expecting you at dinner." Many of girls flushed with relief at the revelation.
Pansy spoke up first. "We're sorry, we just got caught up with a game." She beamed, and Snape had never recollected seeing her show a happy smile like that unless she was up to something. The girls followed him out of the dorm and it looked amusing to the Headmaster to see Snape herding eight female students into the hall. Hermione tried to hide any expression of interest at seeing nearly half of SOS enter the Great Hall together. She felt her clasp warm and knew she'd be meeting Pansy later. A sly wink from Millicent reassured her that everything was fine.
They met briefly after dinner for Latin practice. Each member practiced every word for pronunciation and timing. After the failure of the complex beats of the classical greats, Hermione and Pansy settled on a commonly known song from Muggle pop culture to help them practice. The clapping exercise was something they could do in other places besides the Room of Requirement. It left the other students with the impression that they were just laughing and having a good time. The funny tune helped lighten the mood as well, as a number of girls were becoming very preoccupied with the thought of leaving school, missing their families for Christmas, and the inherent danger in casting in front of such a large audience. Hermione and Pansy had already met individually with several girls to ease fears and discuss their romantic prospects, which were progressing quite rapidly for many.
It was after group that Pansy finally decided to ask Millicent the big question. "So who is it?"
"What?" She played.
"You know, the object of your affection," Pansy drawled out playfully, her eyes bulging out.
"I am not telling."
"You. Of all people, Millie, Mistress of Desire, you should be talking. Do you at least have someone in mind, or are you pulling our leg?" Pansy teased.
The tough girl act dropped and left a long face. Millicent sighed in resignation. "Yeah. But he'll never consider going out with me."
"Have you even asked? He might…" Millie shook her head. "What? Who is it?" No answer. "Come on. Who?"
"You'll laugh." She crossed her arms defensively and looked away.
"I won't, I swear." Pansy put on her straightest face, not believing Millicent could string her along and then not tell her.
"No, I can't tell you." She blushed, then put her irritated mask back in place.
"OK, fine. At least tell him, you sorry excuse for a Slytherin. We always get our man. Show him how it's done. You might be surprised." Pansy was now the Mistress of Matchmaking and it was killing her to know who. "I double dare you to ask him out to the Ball."
"He's probably already going with someone."
"Do you know that?" A blank look. "Thought not." Pansy walked away taunting her with cowardly clucking noises.
--------------------
Luna Lovegood was brilliant with a wand. She was teaching the girls in the DA and SOS to swish and flick like she did. Some of the spells in the book were wildly complex and the one that had interested Hermione the most was the Wall of Desire. There was a complicated wand spinning on the palm of the hand and then the incantation. Hermione cold never quite get it. Luna was Professor Flitwick's prize student, always performing way ahead of her classmates. She stayed after many classes to obtain pointers from him.
Luna demonstrated time and time again. It was like a Harlem Globetrotter trying to teach a child to dribble. Luna had it, others did not. Hermione watched again as Luna spun the handle of her wand on the palm of her hand, caught it and did a zigzag. After two weeks, Hermione and Pansy finally had the spin thing down. After that all they could do was drop their wands. Once they could spin and catch their wands, they were so shocked after they completed the movement, they forgot entirely the incantation. It was pure frustration. Hermione was determined, sure that the spell would eventually come in handy.
After nearly a hundred attempts back to back, wrist aching, she muttered the spell, wand pointed at her abdomen. "Make my desires a shield from my enemies…" She didn't feel any different. Of course, she hadn't needed to use the spell yet.
"What does it say?" Pansy asked, as Hermione read from the book again. Pansy was exhausted from her own attempts, but glad somebody finally succeeded.
"All I have to do is say this phrase, and whoever's attentions are unwanted hit the 'wall of desire' or whatever and can't come near me. Hmmm, I don't even need my wand for that. Wonder why?"
Pansy gave up. What a load of crap.
The next day, Hermione figured out why the wall of desire was developed. She and all of the other girls were receiving numerous propositions from boys in the school. It wasn't flattering. It was too excessive for any one of them to consider it a complement. Their incessant practicing of the desire spell was increasing their attractiveness to others and their own desires for anything that moved. It was a pheromone meltdown of ridiculous proportions. They had to settle for sitting in groups at lunch and in class just to keep their attention on their studies. Hermione set up mandatory study schedules just to make sure their grades wouldn't drop. Just a few more weeks.
--------
"Hey, Pansy, wait up," Draco called out after her. It was the second time today that he had ditched the usual crowd for her company. His attentiveness had been a little too long in coming. After his departure at the maze, there had been a lot of flirting over the year, small gestures from him but no dates. A pat on the back, a slipped note in class. He had actually complemented her hair and smile today. It seemed over the top, but then several boys had made comments. Maybe the spell had changed something about her.
She tried not to stare at him. She had been lusting after him the whole term already, she just didn't want to be obvious about it.
"Hey Draco. What is this, a second escort?" She said playfully. "People will talk."
"Let them talk then," he purred breathily in her ear. It was a weak attempt at seduction, but it was working and he hooked an arm around her neck for everyone to see.
Pansy couldn't help but smile.
----------
Harry's and Ginny's relationship was progressing well and they were spending more time together. Under normal circumstances they would've likely gone to Hogsmeade for a butterbeer, or to the lake for a walk. With the spell being practiced they both were feeling a bit frustrated. Ginny finally had to put her foot down.
"Harry, we've got to slow down…"
"I know, I know. I'm sorry," he said a little out of breath. "It's just I've never felt this way about anyone before…" He said, trying to refrain from kissing her neck.
Ginny winced. That's exactly what she wanted to hear. Stay strong. People are counting on you.
This is artificially intense, it's the spell.. you wouldn't normally act like this. Get a grip.
"Me too, Harry." Ginny felt so bad saying this because she had set the pace for a lot of the making out which was beginning to extend beyond usual groping. "But I think we need to cool things off for a bit. This is my Owls year and I have finals coming up. I really need to focus… for just a few weeks of school. Do you understand?"
That really wasn't a question without a textbook answer. "Yes, of course Ginny. Y-you're not breaking up with me, are you?" Of course, Harry didn't understand, not fully. But eventually he would.
"Oh no, not a chance," and she pecked still confused boy on the cheek, while she adjusted her half-buttoned blouse and twisted skirt. She left the closet immediately, with plans to avoid Harry like the plague until the Ball if she could help it. Her desires were overwhelming her and she was really worried she wasn't going to make it. Please forgive me, Harry. I love you. She still hadn't said the words though. That was enough to send any man running.
Lisa Turpin was having difficulty too. She and Terry Boot were back in the closet, pursuing any activity up to, but not including intercourse. It was a fine line she walked, and she hadn't discussed things with Terry. He had no clue what was driving her in addition to her own interests. She wasn't sure if this was helping or hindering her abilities to resist some casting time.
The other students had their crushes, but many were young and kept their distance from members of the opposite sex. Natalie and Roberta had it no easier with their female interests. Roberta's girlfriend was incredibly strict about progressing slowly with their relationship and Natalie's girlfriend attended Beauxbatons. They wrote steamy love letters, and could only long to see each other over the holidays. At least that's what her girlfriend had hoped. It pained Natalie that she couldn't tell her anything about the spell. But she had a letter prewritten and ready to go the moment she could send it safely. After the spell.
Some other unfortunate members had already had to hex persons for unwelcome advances which had started out as kissing and led to acts they did not want to explore. The younger girls stuck together all of the time now, fearing an ambush from more senior students, many of whom had already made their unsavory intentions known. Millicent began tampering with some of the more dangerous potions and poisons from the questionable text, preparing herself and others in case of disaster. She really was a volatile girl, with a lot of bent up emotion waiting to be unleashed on the next poor unsuspecting person. No one dared cross her.
Millicent Bulstrode accepted Pansy's dare and had finally approached the boy who had captured her interest. To her surprise, rather than run in fear he stammered and accepted. He had really grown into his own over the years and though formerly quiet, was taking more of a leadership role in the DA and excelled in his classes— especially now that he was concentrating on what interested him most. She had an escort to the Yule Ball and he had agreed to keep it secret for now, at least until their relationship got off to a stronger start. They both knew that any mockery would shake their fledgling romance if they let the cat out of the bag too soon.
They walked the maze at night, where they could not be seen. She was a different girl with him and she liked it. Before she knew it she was having her first, real kiss— with a boy she liked instead of just taking what was available. He was sweet really and didn't press. She was altogether surprised of how sure he was of himself and that he kept a masculine demeanor about him despite his tender affections. Who knew? She hoped it wouldn't make her soft, but it was nice that any boy could make her feel that way and not ask her to change her rather straightforward personality.
-------------
Hermione finally did remember why she had needed to see Dumbledore and returned to his office a few days later.
His grey blue eyes looked thoughtfully at the young woman and said as calmly as possible, "The Weird Sisters unavoidably cancelled."
Hermione's face paled. "Then who…"
"We will not be hiring another band because there isn't sufficient enough time to assure me of their good character. I will not just bring anyone up to the school."
"Miss Granger. I know that you have the difficult task of coordinating the Yule Ball. But I must say that hiring bands for school dances is a somewhat recent occurrence, and in my day the halls were charmed to play music suitable for waltzing," Dumbledore said with a twinkle in his eye.
Waltzing. That was painful. Most students hardly danced at all. The 'buts' in her mind were there, but she didn't vocalize them. She had no solution to offer in it's place.
There was no quick answer for the intelligent girl, because Hermione Granger was officially in panic mode.
"Don't look so surprised my dear. Every student loves a good dance. If you need anything from me, I will certainly be here to help you." That was only a small comfort to the co-leader of SOS, who had kept too many secrets to share any now.
"And professor, I think we should include all of the students this year. It… looks better to include the entire school, and that way we can keep an eye on everyone while the representative from the school board is here." Dumbledore agreed, though surprised at her suggestion. She obviously still was worried about students going missing.
She charmed her clasp as she ran to the Room of Requirement.
Out of breath, Pansy was striding up the hall to see her stricken friend, doubled over from running.
"What is it? Did someone finally give in?" That of course, had always been their concern— that one of the twenty would succumb to compelling desire and opt for instant gratification, thinking of consequences to the school and others as an afterthought.
"No. The Weird Sisters cancelled."
"SHIT! You called me up here for that?" Pansy shoved her forcefully. "Damn, Granger! Get a grip. You gave me a friggin' heart attack."
Hermione gathered herself and looked up. "Don't you get it? If there's no live music…"
"Wait a second, there's no replacement?" Pansy asked. It was still sinking in.
"Dumbledore thinks it too late to hire trustworthy entertainment." Hermione rolled her eyes in obvious distress.
"Hermione, we can't do what we're going to do without a band at the Yule Ball!"
"That's what I've been trying to tell you," Hermione said in exasperation pacing the last time, reaching for the Room of Requirement door handle. "No one will come."
"No, they'll come— they'll just leave early…" Pansy trailed off because as Hermione entered the room she spun to face Pansy with a naughty look on her face.
Pansy saw over her shoulder into a room filled with musical equipment, and an enormous grand piano in the middle of the room. A large, tacky, disco ball sparkled overhead.
"No. NO! You're mad. You can't…" Pansy said.
"Not me. We. Come on Pansy. I saw the look on your face at Rue Nineteen. That was awesome and the only reason I wasn't so nervous is that I was in disguise."
"You're crazy, I can't do that." She said plainly.
"Shut up, you have an excellent voice and you can sing in a lower range than I anyway." Hermione argued back.
"But you sang great in your lower register at the club…"
"My voice was charmed to be deeper. You have a natural raspy quality to your voice and you don't even smoke! And stop making excuses, Pansy." She put emphasis on her name like it was an adjective instead of her name.
"I'm glad you said disguise, because you know the school won't dance if they know it's us." Pansy laughed.
Ha! She's in. "Yeah, you're right, they'll just stare and gape…"
"And laugh at us for weeks." Pansy added.
"I don't know about that. We just need to practice."
"We need a disguise. What did you do at the club? You still looked mostly like yourself, but Malfoy didn't recognize you."
"It was the clothes and hair. And I had a lot of help. But this time I was thinking… Polyjuice." Hermione suggested seriously.
Pansy laughed. "Your serious aren't you? Didn't you screw that up your second year?"
"Does everyone know about that?" Hermione sighed with resignation.
"Are you kidding, furball?" Pansy taunted.
"The potion actually did work, just… not for me." Pansy raised an eyebrow and knew Granger wouldn't tell her anymore. "It takes a month to brew, so we have to start right away. Dumbledore said he'd help us…" Hermione was already beginning to rise from her chair, making a mental list of ingredients.
"Well go on then. Go," Pansy said pushing her out the door.
Hermione returned to the Headmaster's office and was greeted with a warm smile at her mention of the solution.
"But you must promise me, that you won't tell anyone, not even the staff that it's us. Pansy especially doesn't want this to get out." Hermione pleaded.
Dumbledore chuckled and agreed to help her avoid what he suspected was teenage embarrassment. "Please let me know in advance all of the songs performed so that the instruments can be charmed accordingly. And Hermione, you have enough to be getting along with your own preparations without brewing the potion. I will make sure it is ready for you." Dumbledore concluded.
"Thank you, sir." Hermione breathed a sigh of relief. Thank God, that task is off the list.
---------
She found it a little bit funny when she spied Snape brewing the potion on another workspace. She dared not mention who it was for, and she was sure Dumbledore was a man of his word. She peered closer while testing one of the Veritaserum trials. While she waited for her own potion to clear she drew closer to a far cauldron near the window. It stank of dead creatures yet looked mysteriously still, the color of blood, almost black. That wasn't in Most Potente Potions… And while it appeared to be smokeless, she choked on the fumes when she approached the open potions text.
"Miss Granger!" Snape snatched her by the arms and yanked her away from the area, pushing her to a chair on the other side of the room. "What did you think you were doing?" he spat but ignored any attempts at a reply. He clasped his hands on her cheeks while he looked in her eyes, inspecting them. "You didn't touch it, did you?" His face was filled with worry and concern... maybe fear?
"No, sir. Of co-course not." She coughed again, unable to shake the stench from her nose. He eyes burned and she attempted to rub them. "What was that foul brew?"
Snape grabbed her wrists and looked again at her eyes, watery and red. "Come with me, Miss Granger, and don't rub your eyes." He led the half-blind student to the stores where he retrieved a vial from the shelf and a squirt bottle. "Drink this."
"What is it?"
"Honestly girl, must you question everything? Do you or do you not feel nauseous? Pain in your stomach? Itchy skin?" They looked at her fingers and noted she was trying to scratch what parts of skin her fingers could reach with him still holding her.
Hermione took the potion and downed it in one, forcing her hands to stay by her sides while she blinked excessively. Tears streamed down her face and he brought a white handkerchief up to dry them. It was not an intimate action, though the very thought of him touching her in any way was provoking a response in her she would have preferred to hide lest it show on her face. "In some potions, the fumes are so toxic that the chemicals can cling to your eyes and be absorbed through your skin and mouth when you cry. Now then," as her face was dry for the moment. "Lean your head back and I will squirt a bit of this in your eyes. It will take the sting away and balance the pH of the fumes." His ministrations were a discourse on potion safety instead of the sweet hovering attentions Madam Pomfrey would give. He caught the liquid in the handkerchief as it spilled down her cheeks. "Are you breathing easier?"
"Yes, sir. I'm sorry I disturbed your workspace, sir. It appeared harmless."
"Appearances can be deceiving, Hermione." Why had he called her that? Had he done that before? They were spending quite a lot of time together in the lab.
"There didn't even appear to be any smoke but it hit me immediately."
"Yes, well. Come here then." He left her side and she followed behind. "Stand here. Can you see it?'
As Hermione's world came back into focus she could see a thin transparent haze hang around the area of his potion. "It won't affect the Polyjuice?" Seeing the cauldron near it made her concerned.
"Very good, Miss Granger." He made the effort to correct his previous slip, as if she hadn't already noticed. "I have put a containment charm around the area, however it is not visible and you crossed it explaining your exposure. I apologize for not warning you of it earlier. As potions is your field of interest, it is only natural that you would be curious."
Hermione sat that night in her room wondering about his fair and kind treatment of her. Not that she expected him to be sour, but he had changed his surly demeanor to one that tolerated and accepted her questions and curiosity. It saddened her that it was about to come to an end. Appearances can be deceiving. Indeed. He had seen her all year and hadn't seen a hint of interest on her face beyond her studies. How would he respond if he knew the truth?
For the purposes of the spell, of course and at Millie the Mistress of Desire's urging, she allowed her mind to focus on his physical contact with her. Pulling her to the chair, leading her blindly to the store room. She wondered if he was a gentle lover, or if he would take charge more, leading her through the experience. Stand here. It was both exciting and frightening to believe him to be so skilled that he could pleasure her so easily. Of course, she had already burned his silky tones in her brain. 'Come with me, Miss Granger. You didn't touch it, did you?' She imagined his strong hands tightly griping her arms, preventing her from moving as he kissed her. She could smell him immediately, his heady scent filling her. Reminiscent of potions, woods, and cedar.
Her eyes closed as she let the tingling feelings of arousal travel down her spine to nestle in her lower abdomen. Her cupped hands wandered from her breasts to her panties and stopped suddenly.
She cried herself to sleep at the cruelty of it. She could never have him. He would never see her that way, never touch her except in dire emergency. Like in the classroom. Like giving her the antidote for the dye poisoning. It was all honorable, nothing intimate or personal would ever be possible. Her heart broke with the weight of it. She had no one to confide in. Who would understand?
---------
Several weeks passed and the girls practiced day and night, muttering incantations in their heads between classes to make sure they had it right. The self lighting candles they ordered came in and Melanie tested them all, passing one out and one spare to each girl.
It was Friday night after her meeting, and as agreed, Draco met Pansy in the hall outside of the common room. It was so close to the ball and every girl was feeling a bit electric and on edge. He was looking a bit more confident than usual, taller but with a soft countenance about him. It seemed odd to Pansy, but appealing. When she moved her lips to speak, he put a finger to them and moved in close. He bent, so slowly and kissed her deeply. Pansy's mind blanked out.
Draco is kissing me.
Like she wanted, like she dreamt about. All of the teasing and arguments were forgotten and their was no floor, no air— just the two of them. He snaked a firm arm around her waist and pulled her into a closet nearby. It was used so often for snogging that someone had transfigured a small cot for this purpose and Draco lowered her down onto it. Everything around her was warm and him, his lips… it was hypnotic. Her insides burned with months of longing for him and she pulled at his cloak and shirt. Pansy couldn't remember, how long they were there, how much necking there was, what day it was… but Draco was fondling her and pleasuring her with skill beyond his years. She heard the conflicting distant voices inside her head, the voice was her own.
You sell out. Stop this.
Do this and you'll be safe, you'll be free.
No.
"Draco stop. I'm not ready for this." Pansy said quietly, trying to push herself up.
Draco was still kissing her, nibbling her neck, her message not quite being transmitted from his brain to nether regions. He was quite overwhelmed in his own physical responses. "Yes you are," he said silky growl, teasing her with a finger. "You want this…" Pansy gasped and then cursed her response. He playfully bit her shoulder. She pushed him off, but he grabbed her wrists and pushed her to the bed, still caught up in their almost completed union.
Pansy was furious. "Draco! I said no! Get off. GET… OFF!" She wriggled beneath him and wrenched her hands free to slap him hard across the face. There wasn't much room in the closet for movement but Draco finally got up throwing his clothes on angrily.
After dressing, he pushed up against her at the wall and leaned in to her ear. "You don't know what you missed," he growled, leaving the closet in a disheveled huff.
When Pansy came to her senses after that wide spectrum of emotions she looked around the dimly lit utility room, filled with brooms, a mop, a shelf with cleaning agents and floor wax, and there in a dark corner, saw a tube of lubricant. Half-dressed but feeling naked, Pansy closed her eyes in disgust.
How could she? Is this what she had imagined? That romantic interplay of passion in a closet? And Draco, he was ready to take what he wanted. He did want her. Even though he left that way, she convinced herself… She didn't want to bear the sting of rejection, yet wouldn't betray her promise to herself and the others so close to the goal. Her eyes stung with tears, frustrated and angry. Her desire for Draco was replaced by the pissed off remainder of her former self. What had she become? Embrace desire, confront it.
What a load of crap.
Pansy went to bed after taking some time for herself. She read the Power of the Innocent, almost forgiving Draco for his forwardness. They were very naked, and so close to consummating things, it was unfair for her to expect him to be able to stop. Of course, it was her right to choose to stop any time she wanted. But then again, as she read, she remembered how many boys had approached her recently. Now that they were casting, the virgins were drawing a small horde of admirers. The magical attraction was an indiscriminate magnet for boys, indeed anyone who was interested.
The spell wanted to be satisfied.
Like two charged opposites wanting to be drawn together, and it's only the will of the virgin that prevents their union. One pulls, the other pushes… it's a chase.
Pansy shut the book closed, and hid it in under the floorboard in her charmed trunk with a false bottom. The dormitory door stood slightly ajar, so when she got up to close it, light streamed through the crack. The sight of Draco kissing a farewell to a thoroughly ravaged seventh year student enflamed her anger again, especially when he hugged her, making eye contact with Pansy over the girl's shoulder. Pansy slipped quickly into bed, seeing in her peripheral vision the girls poor attempt at slipping in unnoticed. Tina Humberto looked up at her classmate with a sheepish smile. She had obviously enjoyed herself.
Pansy wouldn't cry. She was livid. When she woke up she was still angry, but felt she had slept wrongly, looking like she'd cried all night. It took makeup, eye cream and glamours to hide her puffy dark circles, yet did not remove the scowl which had transformed the rest of her face.
----------------
The next day, Hermione posted a big sign and a box for musical requests for the Yule Ball. This would be the first year that students would be able to submit their requests for music. The coordinator was pleased with her idea and patted herself on the back for her ingenuity. It would be the best Yule Ball ever— even if it did have a surprise ending. The Prefects would be pleased, even Ron would be relived that the Ball wouldn't be educational. She needed to practice and they hadn't the foggiest what the other students would like to hear— that they could actually sing.
But, she made a slight err in judgment. She posted this, without asking Pansy first. And as she saw Pansy forcefully walking ahead of the Slytherin crowd, seeing the box and then looking at her with a puzzled expression. Hermione looked up… caught red-handed, realizing her mistake.
Something snapped, and all of the tension broke.
Pansy lunged for Hermione and a fight erupted in the entrance to the Great Hall, the origin of which other students could only hazard to guess. Arms were flying and students screamed, some running to fetch a teacher, and some egging them on chanting, "Fight, fight, fight!" Yet other onlookers called out to classmates to watch the spectacle.
Hermione didn't even ask. Her emotions had been running high too, and this was simply an outlet for frustration. She hit Pansy square in the jaw after wrenching free from her vicious choke hold.
"Damn it, Granger! I… hate you! How could you?" Hermione wasn't following her, but she wasn't about to discuss it with her between blows, in front of a crowd. They dodged and missed the contact of several furious swings, and nails raked down the side of Hermione's neck drawing blood.
"Stop it, Pansy! Just… stop!" Hermione shoved her hard into the ground, finally on top trying to restrain the incredibly powerful Slytherin girl. Unfortunately, just when Gryffindor had the upper hand, the heads of each of their Houses stood to break it up.
"Stop that this instant!" Shouted McGonagall.
"That will be one-hundred points from Gryffindor for fighting with a student, Miss Granger," said Snape without a trace of fairness.
"Hey!" exclaimed Dean. "Parkinson started it!" And a lot of agreement could be heard from the crowd.
"And one hundred points from Slytherin as well, Miss Parkinson." Minerva wasn't going to let Snape not dispense suitable punishment for his own House. She would have docked Hermione one-hundred and fifty points just for being a Prefect. "What on earth possessed you two, grown women, to do this?" No answer from the pair, who were rising to their feet to face punishment. "What do you have to say for yourself, Miss Granger? How did this fight begin?"
"I don't know, Professor." Hermione kept her head down rubbing her jaw.
"And you Miss Parkinson?" Minerva wouldn't leave one of Snape beloved students out.
"Nothing could justify my actions Professor McGonagall," Pansy said primly, as blood ran from her lip down her chin. The perfectly canned answer for the caught witch or wizard.
McGonagall made a loathsome face. "I want the both of you to apologize and see Madame Pomfrey."
Both of the them muttered half-hearted regrets and McGonagall was a satisfied as she would be. She could not believe the behavior of these two.
Hermione and Pansy didn't need to go to the infirmary but they went anyway. It was an easy out. They didn't talk the whole way and when they sat together in Poppy's office they became overcome with the stupidity of it. They burst out in fits of side-splitting laughter. When Poppy entered the room they were in tears laughing so hard, they couldn't stop.
"You're cured. How can you be fighting one minute and laughing the next?" She admonished. "This is for your neck and jaw, Miss Granger. Rub this on your lip, Miss Parkinson," she ordered relieving the pain with the tip of her wand. "You can go." She dispensed the creams and shooed them out.
"I'm sorry, Hermione." Pansy said honestly after they left the infirmary. "I wasn't mad at you. Well I mean, you should have told me about the suggestion box, but that was really just the last straw you know?"
"So what is it?" Hermione asked.
"Draco, he and I… and then he…" Pansy stopped. "He is such a prick! I hate him."
"What happened, Pansy?" Hermione looked nervously toward her sister.
"We were fooling around. You know we met on Friday night like we agreed, and I got carried away. I almost… but we stopped and he got mad and then fucked some other girl the same night!"
"I'm sorry Pansy. He doesn't even deserve you. Don't even think about it." Hermione tried to support her as best she could. Draco was a horrible prat of a boy. It's not Pansy's fault Draco couldn't recognize a woman when she was staring right at him. He had always been a bastard, but Hermione wasn't about to point out the obvious to her.
It was a shame Pansy wouldn't consider Seamus Finnegan's offer. He was a polite enough guy. He would treat her well. But there was no chemistry there. Why do we always want the men we can't have?
Hermione didn't know who had it the worst. Ginny whose affection was returned whole heartedly by Harry, who subsequently had to avoid him just to keep her virginity intact; or Pansy who was full out wildly lusting after the most revolting excuse for a human being Hermione ever saw with manners to match. At least Pansy had risked rejection and heartbreak. Hermione was just flat out suffering. She was stuck in a situation she could not help. Existing was painful.
---------------
Author's Notes:
Next chapter coming real soon! I can't wait. Juts doing finishing touches. Hope it will have been worth the wait. I am so grateful for your careful reviews. A lot of you have foreshadowed what's coming up, and that makes me wonder… Am I too predictable? Chapter 15: The Yule Ball (or some cooler name I have yet to come up with).
Ms. Snarky: Yeah, I always wonder what happens to those extras when Harry leaves the scene…
Athena Linborn- Come back! I hope you liked the rest of it…
Christine- Thank you for your review!
Slytherian Angel: Thank you and I promise you won't wait long for the next one, only a few days.
Cephyse- Thank you, and I know the feeling. I have missed many a meal (and a good night's sleep) reading and writing…
Simply Scribbling- Melanie's great- no mistake there. I have a special reveal planned for the calligraphy. Though I thought of two ways to do it… happy ending or sad? I may write the sad for fun, but I couldn't bear to write that one first. Here's 14. And you'll see in 15, her robes may have to wait…
Franflutewitch- Thank you! And I don't know about fatherly… but he's just a responsible guy. Even with Melanie he's standoffish, all the while thinking of keeping his cover instead of comforting her well at the time. Of course I do think Snape had a bit of a need to redeem himself, and if he could rescue every damsel in distress I'm sure he would… but then there's the whole spy thing. I imagine it must be horrible seeing what he sees and not being able to do anything active about it. Cool to hear about your clock… I love losing track of time listening to music or practicing, I haven't sung formally in a long while… too long.
Steph2bwld- Shame on you, stop trying to kill the suspense with your accurate guessing! Ha! Good job, I'm not telling. And Hermione blacked out her mark, doodling on her notes. She would never hand in sloppy work. And sorry too busy to go into McGonagall right now. We can only speculate. And Snape so intelligent, wasn't thinking hard about being thwarted but relived that so many were no longer list material. The reference to the Brownheimer Antidote pumice option was a rare notation. I imagine it wasn't likely to appear anywhere else. You know I've imagined a dozen different ways Snape could find out Hermione is a virgin before the Yule Ball and then she "fixes it" by openly pretending to proposition someone. I already wrote the entire sequence, so if I can find it, I'll add it to the end of one of the chapters, even though it doesn't fit anymore. It was awesome. They were playing with a potion which Draco ingests making himself mortally sick… so Hermione flies to the Forbidden forest to gather flowers while Pansy tends him. And yes, she flies, on a broomstick… pretty thrilling and scary as hell after her previous fall. Then Snape watches on as he sees students futilely attempt to heal a dying boy he has no antidote for himself and to his surprise knows Ginny, Hermione and Pansy are all virgins from their preparation of the cure. Why can't I find it in my saved documents? No matter. It no longer fits with the sequence of the story.
And for the virginity detector, he said early on in the fic, he wouldn't use it because he didn't want to know beyond a shadow of all doubt. Of course, Snape is never wrong. And the potions brewed n his class tell no lies. He has no reasons to disbelieve their truth. I wasn't going to revisit it again until later, but Snape does read poetry often and he does keep coming back to the poem. And ah, the Christmas Holidays will be spent sequestered… Thank you for your questions and keen interest!
Rosmerta- What made me think of that? Endless choir rehearsals of course. Time and time again I clapped in time with Ms. Seville in high school. Holding my hair waist high in front of me while we breathed… ha ha ha ha ha. Little puffs of air, and clapping the beats out before we sang to make sure we had it. And Remus, he's the man isn't he? You know I might shag Snape senseless, but we'd all marry a guy like Remus.
Kramedart Trademark- Thank you for reviewing… again the button calls your name…
Vivianne Mercedes- Yay! Thanks for the confirmation.
Lyress- Awesome! Thanks, I'm glad you liked it. I always hope the chapters are suspenseful enough to incite that kind of response.
June- Thank you! They are through most of the second half of the book, which still references torture a lot. Filler. Ugh. Yes, we will hear of Kendra soon… promise. The next update is now! Wait a second. The next one will follow in a few days. Maybe the end of the weekend. J
Ezmerelda- Yeppers. McGonagall needs to lighten up. Wait til Yule Ball. She will crap a gnome.
Wackoramaco87- Melanie is cool. I'm a little dismayed at my lack of character development for each of the girls. I should go into more detail for Mel huh? She's like, really young, but gutsy. Hates what happened to her and can't stand the mush (outwardly) of people hovering over her, but she needs it, the comfort, the attention. The Slythering girls are getting some real friendship out of the SOS group. They can really trust each other there.
Maxy- I have sung it a million times, and it's pretty to boot. Now the calligraphy will come in, but Hermione is studying. She knows it would be weird to have a strange owl floating to her, that Snape could recognize, besides she has no more time during the school year. I've been trying to think of another vignette pre-yule ball, but I can't think of one. Ugh. It will be revisited. I promise.
JOdel- Whoops, thank you for your feedback— so it's isn't NEWTS year and I will have to square that, but will have to keep Hermione a sixth year, or will have to adjust everything. I didn't go a lot into her use of time turner in her third year, but I suspect that Hermione nearly wiped herself out that year. Maybe she got sick and had to recover (burnout) and have to make up time… or how many naps did she take between classes or days trying to make up for lost sleep. Doing so many hours over must have really thrown her body clock way off. As for the restriction of underage magic, I imagine Fudge expects that students are to graduate before practicing. I thought that Fred and George merely got their apparating license but didn't necessarily get to practice magic outside of school quite yet… but ah maybe I am mistaken.
Kary Sky- Bon soir! And true, it will be quite public… almost forgot if I hadn't mentioned that before… Don't be a ghost, can't touch anything and can't eat…
Azulkan2- Good, I'm glad I've at least made it somewhat suspenseful… And hey Melanie is cool, not emotionally unscathed, but alive…true dat true dat.
Linda- Thanks for waiting!
Falafelgigglehiney- Thanks! Girl power! And reviews rock… please review again!
Angie S- Thank you and here is the update!