–- SEYRUUN HIGH JINX -- 10 year Reunion Story –-2004-08

"Affection is responsible for nine-tenths of whatever solid and durable happiness there is in our lives." – C. S. Lewis

Chapter Thirteen: Setting it Straight

"It is a common enough case, that of a man being suddenly captivated by a woman nearly the opposite of his ideal." -- George Eliot

Later that December, Luna and Julian were wedded at the country club. They honeymooned on Wolfpack Island, courtesy of Xelloss' generous gift. Val turned over his share of the country club to Julian as his gift—a gift worth millions. This was kept a secret from everyone for a long time. I think Val didn't want everyone to know of his munificence for some reason. I found out only because he left the transfer papers lying around the house one day.

"It's not charity," he growled.

"I didn't think it was," I replied.

"Don't tell nobody, 'specially Fil and…guess that means Lina too. Let Luna tell'er if she wants."

"No problem. I won't mention it to anyone that you are such a soft touch!"

He grumbled and blustered a bit more, but it was his way of dealing with embarrassment, then asked, "Xelloss' birthday's comin' up and he's liable to be depressed, bein' alone and all. Wanna do somethin'?"

"We'll see." We agreed to make some plans and talk to him later.

Back at the wedding reception, Amelia was glaring at me, so was Lina when she paid me any heed. Again I was person non grata, for who-the-hell-knew what reason. All right, I forgot Amelia's Solstice party. That can happen! I was with my study group and time flew by. I got there as the last of the party goers were leaving. I did show up; didn't that count for something? And...I bought her a present, mind you! I had already dished out money for those birthday present earrings so this other one was simpler…a book, but a very good book…I thought. She hadn't even thanked me for it and you didn't see me getting all bent out of shape over that, did you? Besides, it wasn't really even a holiday I ever celebrated. She knew that! Why, I didn't even need to be invited. I shouldn't have been invited. It was Lina's party for Amelia and her high school friends, so why should I have been expected to show up anyway?

They both had answers to these and other of my reasonable questions, not that I understood a word of their explanation. It was all on some feminine emotional level beyond my scope of comprehension. So, I was labeled 'rock-headed' and ignored. For a while. However, once we were done with the eating part of Luna's reception party, it was time for the dancing, and then I magically regained my visibility and humanity. Lina snagged my arm and commanded me to 'dance, fiend, dance!'

Amelia wanted to dance all night it seemed, with anyone but me until Val yanked me off Lina with a snarl, "Getcher own girl."

Val could be a real bitch, for a guy. You see, I had had a girl to dance with and he took her away. And Lina didn't even let out a squawk! Amelia was standing alone. I was standing alone. Then this girlie clan guy asked me to dance. That did it. I was going home!

I spun around and headed straight into Gourry's massive form which had stridden purposefully into my path.

"She just wants you to say yer sorry," he told me in his low resolute tone.

"For what? What did I do wrong?"

"The 'what' don't matter. Just say it. She knows whatcha did wrong."

"Ah…" I sighed, defeated again. I was becoming such a wuss. "Fine."

Gourry headed me in the right direction and stood behind me just so I couldn't take off again. "Um…"

She looked at me. Oh how I wished that her lovely eyes were happy.

"Listen, I'm sorry, Amelia. It was an oversight and a thoughtless one. I should have called to say I was running late…" I looked askance at Gourry who simply nodded and moved off, leaving me to assume I was on the right course.

"It wasn't that…" she said to the leafless rose plant. "It was that book."

"The poetry? But I though you liked sonnets!"

"Sonnets? You thought those were…sonnets? Did you even read any of them?"

"Well, actually…no. Val chose several volumes which he recommended and I just picked one. It said 'sonnets' on the cover. Love sonnets! Exotic ones!"

At this point I was desperate. I was really trying, but I couldn't comprehend the conundrum. Then Amelia started to giggle…then laugh. Well, it was baffling, but an improvement.

"Tell me…?" I asked. Tell me something here!

She pulled my shoulders down and whispered into my ear, "They were Erotic Love Poems, not exotic. Very dirty."

I didn't know that! "Whaaa..? I didn't know…I must have misread the cover I was in a hurry and I trusted Val."

And she believed me.

I was so relieved that I lost myself in the good feelings of holding Amelia and dancing slowly to music I wasn't listening to and thanking the gods that the day was working out finally, that I ignored my other goofy friends. Although, I did wonder what Val was planning to do with that book of poetry. Did he give the other one, the one I'm certain he meant for me to give to Amelia, to someone thinking that he was sharing erotica? It was a fleeting thought, but had I followed up on it I would have been in on something interesting. The upshot of it being that, you never know all the ramifications of an action, try as you like.

I had meant to sort out Xelloss' birthday with Val, but funny thing, it was Xelloss who called me first. He just wanted to say that he was going off-continent for a few days with Filia. He hoped he could continue to 'distract' Filia from her recent breakup with Brad-somebody, while doing the same for himself. As much as I wanted to find out what was going on with him I also wanted to let him know that I thought Filia was an odd choice of friends to go roving with, but then, it was beneficial having someone else take over 'saving Xelloss' for a change. And so, I wished him a fair journey and said good bye.

A very little time passed before I had reason to regret the sanctioning of his trip with such blithe disregard of the possible consequences. Xelloss dropped by immediately after dropping Filia back at her home, and it was a disturbing conversation, to be sure. I thought he'd gone mad. He was going to seriously date Filia. He was worried about her. Her confidence was gone. No one wanted her. She had no direction...

"You think she'll feel any better about herself after going out on charity dates with you?" I asked him.

"Not Chair-i-teee," he emphasized Val-style with a dramatic sigh and falling onto my bed. "Real dates. I feel sparks when we're to-ge-ther."

I disregarded his stupid Val imitation and asked, "Are you sure you weren't seeing stars from one of her meat-tenderizer blows to the head, or perhaps you were feeling her barbed wit cutting into your delicate --?"

He cut me off. "It's rather fun, considering that she hardly spoke civilly to me in high school. Imagine me, class clown and geek-supreme dating the head cheerleader babe! And...she has the most agreeable figure, quite curvaceous, you might say. A-aaaand, she's been awfully nice. You wouldn't understand."

Well, that was right. I didn't understand him. I understood perfectly well the part where he said she was built; I'd noticed that long ago. Also, I was wondering what movie he'd been watching lately. It was tainting his speech patterns, and therefore his mind.

"I've been trying so hard to find her the right Cephied Believer guy, but then to my surprise, I discovered that there was no one better than myself!"

"Oh, dear gods..." I moaned. "Listen (A deadly word, I know. The minute I said it his attention flew off someplace else), if you've been buying her stuff then you're crazy to think she cares for anything more than that. You know she likes to look good and you clean up right to her specifications, not to mention you feed her expensive tastes in entertainment and..."

And to prove that he had tuned me out, he broke in, "Of course, I haven't sifted through all the clans. There are single males lurking around all over other settlements. Where do you think Milgasia kept his little black book?"

Whatever I said, it caused him to dance out of my room and waltz out the door. Later, I discovered that he actually sent an E-mail message to Milgasia. I gave up. Why did I even bother to try?

When February rolled around, the band played a Valentine gig without Xelloss. Joey filled in for him on the drums, but there was no replacing his vocals. As he promised, Xelloss called me from a different place each day where he was dissolving the syndicate and often turning over lucrative businesses to private individuals that he trusted—let me clarify that- He gave away millions of dollars of his holdings! Xelloss was also working out regularly at the dojo. Sadly, I couldn't find time to join him. As much as I sorely needed to, Xelloss claimed that he desperately needed to stay in shape. I could only imagine why since I wasn't invited to any of his syndicate meetings, and without any firsthand knowledge, I couldn't attest to him being in harms way at that time.

Filia, Sylphiel, Lina and Gourry took Val out to celebrate his 21st birthday right after the gig. I would have gone but I had to get back for a science lab and if I recall...Amelia had a test the next day so her father made her stay home and study. We had exchanged personal cards, Amelia and I, which contained silly poems that were far mushier than I was used to, but all that I could come up with at the time. And … ah… no erotica. I did not record the poems here either-- the presence or absence of suggestiveness having nothing to do with that decision. I was invited to dinner the next evening at Amelia's home with Phil and Kiki. Oh yeah, some fun that was, but at least I didn't get into an argument, and Amelia was speaking to me by the end of the evening.

Anyway, late Valentine's night after my lab, Gourry and I drove Val out to the pool hall for a send off of our own. I really liked those two guys. It seemed like we'd been friends forever. I could no longer remember a time when we hadn't. It was at that time that Gourry confessed that he had fallen in love with Sylphiel. It wasn't like it had been with Lina; Sylphiel wasn't like Lina, but as Val said, "What girl was? There was only one Lina Inverse."

To whom, we all saluted with pool cues like crossed swords, "To Lina!"

Next thing I knew, Xelloss and said Lina Inverse were embroiled in another one of Filia's love affairs gone for shit. The up side, assuming there was one, was that it wasn't with Xelloss; at least it wasn't at first. Lina and I met Filia and Xelloss, which was odd because he rarely met us at the university, for lunch-- although Lina was the only one ordering and eating anything at the time. When Xelloss walked off with a distraught Filia on his arm, I had a bad feeling. But it passed quickly. I was in a pleasant frame of mind. I had aced my last test. Nothing could bother me. I wouldn't let it.

For the next part, I already turned over this material to Filia, which she used already, but since it was the result of my actions solely I shall repeat with accuracy: (Although I know Filia will say she did the dirty work, I want it on record that it was my effort not hers which resulted in extracting a miniscule helping of the conversation details recorded below from Lina, details which I could not recall with crystal-clear perfection, but gathered after applying considerable pressure and coercion techniques at some cost to my person and at considerable risk of retribution from her at a later date— as if I believe that Lina's signature to some 'no fault' clause from a lawyer will protect me.)

"You have class in an hour," I called after Filia, but she only gave me some snotty reply and marched off to her own funeral.

"What do you think she meant by that snitty remark?" Lina asked me.

"I'm not sure, but I know that Xelloss has targeted Filia to be the new focus of his life."

"What!" Lina gasped nearly choking on her pizza. "Xelloss told you that? He wants to date...Filia? That's crazy!"

"Ah, yes...crazy– spelled X-e-double 'el'-o-double' esss'."

Unappreciative of my good humor, Lina snorted and pressed on"But she only dates clan guys now. She told me so! And if not smart about most things, she is smart enough to keep him at arm's length."

"Well, I guess he has his work cut out for him then," I sipped his tea and held back my smile and relishing the moment. I knew something Lina didn't know. "Actually, her arms are nearly as long as his—almost safe."

"Zel, it's futile! They will both end up fighting and hating each other and it will ruin the band in the end, just like... Ugh...Xelloss...! Why can't he pick on someone else? Anyone else?"

"You, perhaps? Are you feeling neglected, Lina?" I was not going to let Lina get away without making my point. Besides, I was carefree and brave, or careless and full of bravado. "He waited a long time for you. You can't expect him to wait forever. How long was it you told him? 'Ten years?' That sounded better than 'never' to him at the time, but in reality, he needs someone. Now. He really does." I set down my coffee and stared hard at my childhood friend. "He's a good man, Lina. He is doing good things with his life. Every ill-gotten dollar that he inherited, he has used to rebuild and transform some place or community into something better. And...he rarely leaves the Metallium name to be credited. Often it is done anonymously or in one of his splinter company names. He does not do it for his own ego boost. Do you know why? Do you?"

"You said it: he's a swell guy."

"He is, but that's not what motivates him. He does it to prove his worthiness...to you. He wants you to admire him. He wants you to fall in love with him, and tell him so."

Lina sat back and looked down at her hands. "I like him all right, more than most, but...if I told him a thing like that, he'd want more. He'd dedicate himself to me, smother me, and then want a commitment. And that...is not what I want, not now."

"He travels a lot; you'd get your space, if that's all that's holding you back. Hey! I'm not pushing this. You know me better than that, but you are both my closest friends so I I'm just letting you know that now is your chance– maybe your last."

"Last? What makes you think so?"

"Bringing us back to the start of our conversation," I said, pleased that I'd managed to bring us back around to it, while avoiding bloodshed. "Somehow, Filia has captured his attention. She wouldn't give him the time of day in high school, if you recall, and now she's leaning on him for support and guidance, the gods know to what end. He always said she was 'entertaining', but now she's has him spellbound."

"No kidding," Lina's expression became a smirk. "There's nothing to worry about, then. That's a romance with no future whatsoever. I can guarantee it! Filia's limited herself to clan guys– no exceptions. And Xelloss would be the exception to end all exceptions! Besides, they have too much animosity and too much bad history. It won't work. I'm not worried."

I didn't believe a word of it. I knew Lina's ego required a certain level of veneration from all her friends; she thrived on it. Gourry's quick retreat and impulsive attachment to Sylphiel had shocked her. Xelloss' early marriage and countless dalliances had bothered her, I knew, so I could imagine that being passed over again had to disturb her. "Who told you about Dr. Chaferly?"

"What makes you think I didn't dig out the info on my own?" Lina retorted.

"Too much trouble."

Lina folded her arms across her chest. "Okay. It was Xelloss."

I nodded, "I thought so. Was what Xelloss said about the guy true?"

"Oh, yeah. The guy had the balls to confess and blame Filia for being a prude."

"Well, that's good. At least Xelloss wasn't making up that part to separate them. Now, think hard about this, Lina. After Brad, who was it that Filia turned to? Wasn't it you who told me she and Xelloss left for skiing over New Year's? Did you go along? No. I didn't go. None of the others went either. They went alone. Something changed then. Now, she's taken off with him again. Want to bet you won't be seeing your roommate for a few days...that's...until our next gig?"

Lina had to admit my logic was solid. "When did you become so wise, Zel?" (Yes, she really did say that.)

"About relationships, you mean? (Not that her statement needed any qualification.) Between Val and Xelloss, I have had a wealth of 'case in points' to study."

"Unsuccessful ones," she noted.

"Those are the most common."

"Aren't they indeed?" she smiled. "And time consuming."

"That's right, not to mention distracting."

"Yeah..." Lina's eyes went unfocused as she stared off into the distance at some unseen object. "Not that distractions are all bad."

To which I had no shrewd reply, even I needed a distraction or two...now and then.

After that we talked about this and that then I left to purchase a few art supplies. Yes, I had agreed to let Xelloss hang a few of my pictures in some stupid gallery of his, but then I discovered that it was to be an entire show devoted to my work and at a very prestigious gallery, which he probably owned too. That meant I needed to produce a few more pieces and they had to be bigger, in color and well framed and in time for the show. Damn him anyway...He was happy to push out the date to '...say spring?' As if I didn't have enough others things to do!

Of course my supply list was on my computer at home and not printed out, so I returned to the snack shop and hooked into the wireless network there and checked my e-mail while I was at it. Something from Xelloss. He communicated regularly, but this had been sent this morning while I was in class. I wondered why he hadn't just told me about it an hour ago at the table? Oh...no... He what! Xelloss had purchased a shop for Filia, The Mace and Vase. Oh, joy... Good thing he hadn't told me or I would have blasted him for doing such an incredibly...kind-hearted, well-intentioned, but reckless thing. However, he probably had already figured that out for himself...and didn't care. I knew he couldn't really help it, but it just exasperated me to astral anxiety levels he couldn't even fathom, the way he could and did fly off and do the most outrageous things without thinking through the consequences of his actions! And I couldn't really come down hard on the guy either, because I was certain he had meant well and it was too late to change things.

So, while Xelloss and Filia were beginning a new business venture, Gourry and Sylphiel announced their pending wedding. I hadn't expected it, although I should have as a consequence to Gourry's admission of 'love' to Val and me. I must have been as blind to the hearts of others as I was to my own, at times, because, although I knew they were dating exclusively, I assumed that nothing would develop. Sylphiel's interest in a man usually didn't last long, although for Gourry I guess it had been going on for years and could last. So, I was wrong. Their wedding was planned for June. They already had a place to move into. Gourry was eager to move into a small house he'd been fixing up for them and taking the next huge step in his life, without Lina.

Other than Xelloss' news and Gourry's engagement, I was out of the loop much of that spring while I was preparing for the art show. I became lost in my work, art, and the band for the next few months. Oh and Amelia, too. To have some time together, she agreed to sit dutifully for a portrait. We discussed the others and their romances; that is, she did and I mostly listened. She seemed to have a clear understanding of the female mind and heart and an overly simplified and far too 'pure' vision of what the male animal was all about.

"Opposites attract, I think it's true. Mr. Xelloss was just an immature boy who didn't know how to get past her defenses and get her to like him when they first met. Miss Filia was just fighting her attraction for Mr. Xelloss all along. You just can't do that forever, especially if he was treating her like a cherished gem. "

"Lina can and did," I put in for argument's sake.

"That's because Miss Lina and Mr. Xelloss aren't so very different. They are both impulsive, quick witted, and cunning—characteristics which do make a very successful partnership but not a loving home environment. Mr. Xelloss is too possessive and Miss Lina is too dismissive."

"Really?" I hadn't thought of them in that way, but Amelia was right. "And Filia and Xelloss, you think they have a chance then?"

"Yep! She is very family oriented and he would like to be. They both like physical closeness, not that they've been very forthcoming about it. They have been very circumspect in fact, but I have noticed them sneaking looks at one another and I saw him kiss her and she kissed back!"

I gave a snort, "Well I haven't. But that just makes it all about sex. You don't know him like I do, Amelia. He is very...active. She's just the challenge he needs for now. Once they...sleep together, that will be it. He'll be off looking for someone new."

She wrinkled up her nose.

I added, "Besides, she's an outdoor type and he is a city boy. They don't mesh that way."

"They mesh in plenty of other ways," Amelia insisted. "But I have admit, they aren't as well matched as Mr. Gourry and Miss Sylphiel."

I sighed. All I ever talked about lately with my friends seemed to be their romantic lives. Amelia must have taken my sigh as one of agreement.

"I know. It's so sweet how Miss Sylphiel held onto her dream of marrying Mr. Gourry and made it came true. Just like a fairytale."

More of a fractured fairytale. I wanted to point out that Sylphiel's waiting included breaking Xelloss' heart and a broken engagement along the way, but just then I wanted to capture a certain wistfulness that had settled on Amelia's face and put it to canvas.

It was a magic moment. Then it broke, "He can't be worse than you. Mr. Xelloss must think about more than that with her."

"Worse than me!" I dropped my paintbrush. "Ugh...Amelia...you say the most...unexpected things at times."

I tried to hide it, but I was smiling. "I think about all kinds of things...anyway."

I certainly had thought about sleeping with Amelia, lots, but since that aborted attempt planned for her birthday, she hadn't given me another opportunity.

Then, before I felt ready at all, the night of the art exhibition had arrived. The entire Slayer's band attended this event, which was put on by- you guessed it- Xelloss, and which featured the work of the most undeserving of people, me. And what's more, he made me get all dressed up even though I thought I should look all untamed like one might expect the au courant, nouveau venu artist about town, as he was labeling me. I had as much style and good taste as he did! However…he had more experience than I with these sorts of things, so I gave in. Oh, joy…

Val and Gourry were in tuxes too. They looked cool, I looked…nervous as hell. The girls all looked terrific. Even Lina wore a long dress, making me wonder what Xelloss had had to do for her to get her to agree to that.

"He'll be paying for that, I'll bet," I had said to Val.

He astonished me by confessing, "Not him, me. Fil, too. She took her out and chose the dress. I did the arm twistin', I paid."

"You? Why?"

"I knew she wanted ta dress up, but needed to look like she didn't so I played along and did the per-suaaaa-din'. Didn't kill me. Took her to some poetry readin' thing."

At which point I noticed that his voice was fading away. "Poetry… She made you read your poetry at her monthly group meeting, didn't she?"

Val actually blushed furiously with embarrassment.

Further discussion was cut off when Xelloss grabbed a microphone to introduce me to the gathering. When I studied Xelloss all dressed up elegantly and softening up the crowd of art critics with carefully studied poise and professionalism, it was hard to believe that he was the same mental case I had been playing rock music with a week ago, much less the same schmuck I swore I'd kill if he ever stole my computer resources again, when he was only a teenager. I looked around, but could only see Filia's face, glowing with open admiration. So, it was true...

Then Amelia squeezed my hand, "He's introducing you now. Good luck!"

I can't recall what it was that I said to the gathering, but they chuckled at my jokes and it was over quickly. Xelloss continued his job as host, and introduced me to many of the critics, buyers, and a few other rising stars in the art world that must have owed him something big to have come to this. But it was thoughtfully carried out and gratifying when a few pieces sold.

When for a short time I was trapped by a pinch-faced, weasel-faced man who needed to know the secret of my hair color or he wouldn't let me go, I caught a flash of Amelia out the corner of an eye. Her hand was over her heart and a smile on her lips. I responded in kind. I don't think anyone else saw us, but even if they saw just her or me, they wouldn't have understood. And strangely, after doing so, I felt my confidence rise noticeably, enough to rid myself of the bonding fan.

"I was nearly killed in a chemical blast caused by an over zealous family member out to destroy all his relations. As a result, I was scarred for life and…" I paused, smiled at the man's ghastly expression, and then said, "All right, that's too absurd, I know. I'm part elf; just leave it at that."

"Oh, I see…" the man whispered as I directed his eyes to my pointed ears with a finger. "Well, t-thank you," he said and scurried off.

Xelloss had also wisely employed caterers for the event to continuously re-supply an overflowing banquet table and to pour drinks, providing Lina and Gourry with plenty of entertainment. Val and Sylphiel wandered together to poke fun at my pictures of them, probably, while Filia, I noticed, rarely left the protection of Xelloss' aura-- they seemed that close. It appeared to me that Filia had already made up her mind to drop out of college and go traveling with him. I couldn't imagine what her parents thought of all that. Would they even let her? I thought not.

All-in-all, it turned out to be a better evening than it had any right to be, and I had my best friend to thank for it. A really terrific guy, despite his faults—in spite of all the personal obstacles he had to overcome, he always tried to come through for us, his friends. He had certainly come through for me. What an occasion it was! Thank you, Xelloss.

When June arrived, we had two band members finishing school. Filia finished her 3rd year at SU. She had only one more year to go, but...alas... she announced to all of us that she had quit college to work full time with Xelloss. I had nothing more to say on this topic which hadn't tirelessly been said before—they were both nuts.

The other graduate was Kiki, which because of her transferring from place to place and her loss of class time meant that she took an extra year to graduate from high school-- the year after Amelia (get it straight now, Filia?)

Now, Filia couldn't get this part accurate, but I will. Amelia's high school graduation was in June the year before. It was after Kiki's graduation that Sylphiel had set her wedding day, which turned out to coincide with Xelloss' first wedding date (which had been set for the same reason: to follow Sylphiel and Filia's graduation.) I am right about all this. Filia got Amelia's graduation confused with Kiki's. Not that I can understand how Filia could get Amelia and Kiki confused.

That said, the band gave Kiki a send-off at the Mayor's place, just as we had for Amelia, for which she was grateful. Kiki invited a select portion of her graduating class, which amounted to three-quarters of it, I guessed. Once again, the gardens and patios of the Mayor's mansion were filled to capacity with giggling, shouting, excited kids, or so they were looking to us. The party was fine, lots of food and happy spirited youths. Kiki was thrilled and jubilant nearly all evening. I hardly got a chance to congratulate her, she was so busy, and so was I, with the band and all.

Which gave me the chance to notice some strange interactions between the other band members...

Lina had been restless. Now she was insisting that she get to dance some too, so she got the band to play while she and Xelloss did their 'Sexy, Sexy' number – for the first time since before he was married. I backed and moved slightly to the side to accommodate the dancing in front, but it also accorded me a view of the back up singers. As Filia watched the show, I could tell she was affected, and not in a good way. It made me start to wonder, what was Lina up to this time? She and Filia were roommates; surely she was aware of Filia and Xelloss' growing attachment. Lina, of all people, knew better than to 'mess with the band'.

I called a 'break' following the song. Fearing to confront Lina first, I latched onto Xelloss like an annoying suckerfish until he agreed to speak privately with me a moment.

"Okay, Zelgadiss, what's got you in a meddling mood this time?"

Ignoring his irritable attitude, I pressed, "Are you aware that Lina's playing some game out there and that it's aimed at you or Filia, or both of you? Or is it you who's the tricky bastard who can't make up his mind which woman to go after, or maybe you're trying to juggle both of them?"

His anger flared a moment, and then dampened out. "I-I don't know what's going on. I want a lover, but I don't know if either Filia or Lina can be that for me. I'm not clan material enough for Filia. I'm too 'needy and demanding' for Lina, as she so delicately puts it; that is, if she actually has any honest deep feelings for me. But they are friends and they are women who are beautiful and they know me and like me and accept me and I like to be with them and they sometimes like to be with me. I need them both and someone else, and no one exactly and …I'm so confused, I don't know what the hell to do. Ah, perhaps I do... some of that cake on a plate, for starters..."

And he took flight. Yep, that about summed it up.

With that 'success' under my belt, I searched out Filia. "Filia, before you and Xelloss take off again, I need to talk to you," I began.

"Oh? You do? Well, now's the time because he and I are leaving right after Sylphie's wedding and I've got a million things to do. So spill it."

As far as I was concerned, Xelloss and Filia made a disturbing couple. I knew he fancied himself in love. But she was enamored in a way I'd ever seen her before. They way they'd look at one another when the other wasn't watching. The admiration. Together they were stunning. And...I knew she would reject him sooner or later and it would kill him. I told her so.

Her eyes went all cool and steely, her voice brittle as she snapped, "Mind your own business, Zel-bob." She couldn't sink her claws into me, though, I was too tough, so she stalked off in search of softer prey.

Then there was Lina to consider, although I had no idea what to make of her situation, or if I even wanted to.

Val could see what I was doing and offered to give me a hand. "Let me talk to Lina and see what'sup."

I wasted no time considering the virtues of that, "Sure, thanks, go ahead. Good luck."

But aside from Xelloss, no one was willing to confide in me that night. I must have looked particularly sulky, because Amelia even avoided me.

One weekend later, Sylphiel and Gourry were married by her father in the Great White Shrine of Seyruun. It was a chance to wear that gray tuxedo from Xelloss' wedding ceremony again, but other than that I found no other positive aspect to the entire event. But that was me. It's not that I thought that either could do better, but that they both should be on their own a little longer before getting tied down. But…that was me.

This time I managed to get Xelloss to sit quietly long enough to reveal a little of what was going on in his head. Xelloss promised me that, "It is my intention to help Filia find a suitable clan life-mate whilst conducting business."

I decided that no matter what, it was time to invite him over to watch westerns or gangster movies or something to get his head out of whatever stuffy shows he'd been watching. His affectations were tiring me out. Nevertheless, despite his grand ideals and highfaluting intentions, I knew somehow that none of the poor clan guys Xelloss introduced to Filia would ever get her to the wedding altar. He was going to continue to lavish her with the 'finer things in life' in an attempt to impress her. It couldn't help but make an impact on Filia's mind, but was that the best way to turn around their I-can-just-barely-stand-you-no-actually-I-hate-you-but-I-can't-explain-why-I'm-attracted-to-you relationship?

Everything was happening so fast. Our band's two week break had arrived and Gourry and Sylphiel were off on their honeymoon and Xelloss and Filia were off traveling together. I began the early-start medical school program, just a couple classes with lots of reading over the summer. A head start on the upcoming year that would give me a real boost, if I could find the time to concentrate and get the work done.

When Xelloss and Filia returned to town, my worst fears were confirmed when I saw him sporting a bandage on his forehead. Filia had smashed a vase over his head.

"So was it all worth getting that?" I asked him.

"Oh, well up to the point where Filia discovered that I was chasing off her escorts, things were going well. Of course, that wasn't all intentional on my part. Was it my fault that they didn't want to have anything to do with a girl who hung around the current head of their despised syndicate?" he smiled, but it didn't last. "She wasn't particularly nice or forthcoming herself; to the other men, that is. I myself found her to be very engaging."

"So, what's the problem you called me about."

"Milgasia invited me out to his place. He told me to make a decision or move on... but I'm torn. As much as I'd like to make a relationship work with Filia, I don't want to leave my position in the shrine to become a clan-guy."

"A good decision on your part, Xelloss. Leave Filia alone and go busy yourself elsewhere."

He frowned. I guessed that I should temper that advice with kindness, so I gave it a try. "What you did was good for Filia—to learn about the world beyond the shelter of her settlement. And it was good for you too, wasn't it? You got a chance to show off your talents and do a good deed or two for the betterment of society."

His smile returned. "Thanks for noticing. I was really putting Filia's needs before mine the entire time."

"Good. You've given her a terrific new start in life, a career, now she needs to do a few things for herself, on her own. Let her. And you, do the same."

He took my golden words of guidance better the second time. And, it must have worked, because Xelloss joined Val and Gourry and me for a boys-night-out at the pool hall, something he hadn't done or had time for in years, although I hadn't intended him to take my suggestion about 'meeting his own men friends' so literally. When I said that, he laughed and told me he was taking a 'rest' from dating again. I guess I had some good influence on him after all.

Then another fall blew in, three years and five months after the musical was performed.

I was immersed full time in medical school and so busy I had practically no life. Why? Well, first of all, medical school is very difficult, even for a gifted guy like me. In order to get through medical school where everyone is dedicated to learning and everyone already has established excellent study skills, you must retain every bit of the information presented to you-- not just memorize and forget it. And most importantly, success requires unparalleled time-management skills. Time is a luxury not to be wasted. You must do several things at once, but also learn when to take a break from it all. Like extreme, hyper-college.

For me, those breaks were few and often unplanned. I would find a chance to get away and need to do just that. However, my friends were also leading full lives of their own, and so they couldn't always drop what they were doing and accommodate me, which would be disappointing. When Amelia or someone else wasn't saving time for me on my schedule, then I'd get mad and we'd fight, and…well, it wasn't the best way to handle stress.

Most of my day would be filled with lectures, labs and small group activities. Some medical students ended up missing lectures because they'd fall behind in their studies. Our medical school had a note-taking service that transcribed lectures, which would then be distributed to everyone so that they could be reviewed at any time. Still, it was a bad thing to fall behind because once that happened it would lead to cramming for tests, and crammed material was forgotten quickly. Furthermore, the problem was not the difficulty of the subject material, it was the volume. It just kept on coming. My evenings were filled with many hours of studying-- the 1st year educating us about normal body functions including:

Anatomy - the science of the structure of the body and the relations of its parts (especially those that can be seen with the naked eye), and taught by lecture and dissection of a human cadaver;

Physiology - the science of the function of the body and its parts (and the chemical and physical steps involved);

Histology - the science of the cells and tissue on the microscopic level (microscopic anatomy);

Biochemistry - the science of the chemistry of the cells, tissue, and organs of the body;

Embryology - the science of the development of a human from its most immature form;

and Neuroanatomy - the anatomy of the nervous system.

I loved it all, except for what it was doing to my social life.

Lina was in her final undergraduate term at SU. She would begin her master's program there in winter; and so, was busy up to her ears in work, too. It was Amelia's second year at SU and she was overwhelmed at times with her workload. I knew she was busy, but I placed what I was doing higher on the importance scale and, well, you can see where we could have a few differences in opinion.

Also, it was Val's last year of Art College, with a huge final portfolio to complete hanging over his head at all times. Filia ran her Mace and Vase store and traveled constantly. Xelloss was doing syndicate duty and out of town most of the time. Gourry had work stacking up, a work force to manage-- all Xelloss-related, challenging, and lucrative.

Sylphiel…quit work and announced that she was pregnant. What can I say? I shall suspend all negative comments and move on.

So, when I would get a free moment and want some female attention, I'd call Amelia first. Often, she would be able to leave whatever she was already embroiled in and join me for dinner. But as the term marched on, as likely or not she couldn't. That would make me dissatisfied, frustrated and even more insistent that she make time for me. I told her that what I was doing was more important than whatever she was busy with and that I should come first. It was true.

Well, she didn't agree. We had words.

Then came a time when we had a fight that left her crying. I felt awful. I couldn't concentrate in class, so I skipped a lecture to find her and take her out to my sadly neglected beach house.

There, I apologized and we made up and made love together for the first time.

It was terrific. Well, I wasn't, but the occasion was. She was young and inexperienced and uncomfortable. I needed to let off a little steam, but really, it wasn't all that. I was grateful for everything she did for me, especially that. And, no, I will not write out the details of our private moments at the time. Those are for us to remember.

Oh, all right, just a little. What I know she wouldn't mind sharing. There was the roar of the ocean in the background. No music; we didn't need that. The sun was obscured by clouds, but it could have been going super-nova for all I cared or noticed. Amelia was the center of my nexus, sucking me in.

And we talked. Really talked. She understood my dream, to become a doctor, and supported me fully. But… I had to accept hers as well, to become a lawyer. Two professionals with overflowing schedules, could we survive it? Or should we give up and let the currents sweep us apart and out into that vast sea of strangers and take our chances? We were not sure. Not that day. But that night we committed to try to hold onto our 'special' friendship a little while longer.

There aren't words to describe how I felt. There just aren't. Making love to a woman I was in love with (and yes…I told her so too. It went something like this: Amelia, I-I...I love you), was like nothing I had ever experienced. I was overwhelmed with joy and wants I couldn't express with just words—or so my rational mind thought.

Suddenly though, words started appearing, forming in my mouth, out of nowhere! They burst from my lips faster and hotter than kisses. I blurted out everything! I wanted her to marry me and have my babies and be there at home waiting for me when I got home. I did my best to tell her.

I was earnest, I'm sure, because she cried when she turned me down.

"I-I can't!" her voice was shrill. "Oh, Zelgadiss, I've waited so long to hear you say 'I love you'. And a proposal! I would have jumped to say 'yes' in the past, when I didn't know better."

Even as I was trying to assimilate that Amelia had turned down my pitch to get married, I knew she was right. I was being overly possessive and selfish, just like a fellow, purple-coiffed friend of mine. But...but...she said no! NO! I blushed with shame and sighed allowing my pain show through, "It was a rash thing to say. I should have known better than to ask that of you in the heat of ...passion."

She smiled, "You were being all noble and gallant, I know. You wouldn't want me to give up my virginity unless you were willing to marry me."

All right...if she thought I was being noble...I could go that route.

Amelia took my pause to mean she should say more to ease my disappointment. "I mean, I do want to marry you, Zelgadiss. I really, really do! But...not right now. I have so much I want to do and so do you! We hardly have time to see each other as it is. You understand, right? You do see my point, don't you?"

I sighed, "Of course."

"And if I said 'yes', we couldn't get married right now anyway. So, then we'd want to wait and put it off until we had time...and what if that took too long and one of us found someone else to do things with when we had a spare minute, then we'd feel all guilty and feel like we were sneaking around and I just don't want to be dishonest with you." Amelia gasped to catch her breath.

I felt that terrible pang of jealousy again. "Is there someone...else?"

Her answer, a punch to the arm, "Zelgadiss!"

"But you want to leave the possibility open," I fined-tuned my query, hating every word.

"For both of us," she said sharply. "I know...you see others." A faint blush like a film of pink celluloid colored her cheeks.

"Ah..." Well I did, but they were meaningless-- however I couldn't lie to her. "There have been some persistent fans, but I don't date them or anything like that. I don't care about them like I do you."

"I understand. So, I might have...persistent fans, too. And sometimes I want to go places and have fun but you're too busy. And...and...I guess I'm just not ready to give it all up yet and get married and spend my time waiting for you to spare me a minute. And most of all, I want to try making it on my own first."

"And be a lawyer," I said.

"Yes, and be a lawyer and know that I can take care of myself. Then when I get married, I will know that it's for love not convenience or worse."

"Worse?"

"Like out of fear of losing you."

That had to have been a hard thing to admit. It would have been for me. "Amelia, now I want to live up to your standards. You are so principled, you know that."

She smiled, "Yep! That's why I said it! You are free to do as you like, but when we are both ready to give up what it takes to share a life together, then you will still be there, and so will I. Because you will always be here in my heart."

Her hand was on my heart, just as mine lowered to hers. And then I knew what it meant to truly be in love; to be willing to give up what you wanted most in order to do what was right, the just thing.

It's just that it sucked to be turned down.

End -- SHJ Ten Year Reunion-- Chapter Thirteen.