The Twenty

by Leyna Rountree

COMPLETE! Hermione and an unlikely Pansy form an elite group of witches, and possess one unusual commonality. Facing their most carnal desires, they will harness a power not seen in an age, to save themselves and protect Hogwarts. Can it stay a secret?

18. Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow

Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling is the owner/operator of all that is Harry Potter.

Chapter Eighteen: Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow

The girls were scrambling outside, excited to be free of the confines of their nook. They were warm despite the weather, filled with the knowledge they would soon be home. Pansy lagged behind, looking despondently at her friend.

"Hermione? Are you sure?"

She could only nod as she received one last fierce hug. "I'll miss you. Take care of Ginny for me," Hermione sucked in a painful breath. She told herself she wouldn't cry.

"I'll try to explain the best I can," Pansy said, straightening her shoulders. She threw her sack over her arm.

"I know you will." Hermione listened hard, and she could hear shouting and the sounds of apparating. "It's time."

Luna entered the cave and ended the warming spells on the shelter. Simultaneously, Hermione casted the Portus charm on one of the illuminated glass jars.

The students outside scattered where a fierce-looking Professor Snape parted them. His black cloak whipped behind him picking up snow at the edges. His look was so severe he could have melted a path of snow with his gaze. Disbelief was evident on his face as he approached. A cave? They lived here?

He looked inside and there she was, kneeling beside a cot, packing like it was an ordinary thing. She did not look at all excited. She wasn't flitting about like the others, not shrieking with glee. Hermione turned to look at him and stopped. She said nothing at first and he couldn't explain it. She didn't smile, though her face conveyed some delicate expression, but he could not put his finger on it. She looked almost… sad.

"I am sorry." I am sorry I'm leaving. I'm sorry I can't tell you everything I'd like. She was saying goodbye again. So that he wouldn't die, even a little. Snape's back turned and she watched him until the last possible moment when at last her fingers closed around the portable fire.

She closed her eyes until the swirling stopped, unwilling to let that particular vision go.

But she had to act quickly. None of the Aurors had appeared when Luna cast, and Hermione was still sufficiently close by. She cast a disillusionment charm on the mouth of the cave, making it appear solid to predators. She again cast warming spells, drying charms, a silencing charm. Hermione quickly enlarged one cauldron to normal size, and one to enormous proportion. If she was going to stay out here, she wasn't going to do it without a bathtub.

She rolled out her bedroll and enlarged it with the cauldrons. Damn rocks. Her back was still giving her fits. She quickly cast a moisture repelling charm on her bedding like the one Harry used on his glasses for rainy Quidditch conditions.

Sitting on the cold ground, she shut her eyes again to chase snatches of her memories of him. Like water through her fingers, Severus' image slipped from her mind the harder she tried to hang on to his face.

Hermione had all the time in the world to unpack and she did so slowly, like she was setting up house. From the opening she could she the stream at a place where it had widened, locating this spot that day when she allowed herself to venture farther from Ginny.

All that she owned in essence was in this tapestry bag. It wasn't like Hermione to run away, not at all— but she convinced herself she was doing this for the greater good, or at least until they tired of looking for her or she thought of a better plan.

-------------------

The girls ran into the Great Hall and tore off toward the dorms. Students in the hall gasped in surprise on the way to breakfast at the familiar faces. Soon word passed throughout the school.

"Emma!" Another fourth-year girl greeted her and Laura in fierce hugs.

Pansy and Ginny walked hand in hand, a pilgrimage they had expected to make with another sister. They had a lot to explain and little time to prepare. They were still in danger and were unaware how much others knew about the vulnerabilities of the wards.

Three weeks had passed and nearly all had their moonflow, making it impossible for the wards to be brought down by killing the twenty of them. Of course, there was still the other issue to consider. Some man wrote that spell. Pansy just knew it.

Pansy wished Ginny luck and gave her one more hug before she left to address the boys.

Ginny walked to the Gryffindor common room. "Virginia Weasley! So glad to see you! Smashing! Splendid! Come right in, and do stay put! Oh! I think I'm going to cry…" The Fat Lady, who had endured all manner of sad and melancholy faces and conversations regarding their whereabouts, made so many exclamations of joy at seeing her that she swung open without a password as she had done for Natalie.

Ron and Harry had heard the news from a screaming Seamus.

"They're back! THEY'RE BACK!!!"

Ron and Harry nearly tripped over each other and fell in a tangle of legs at the bottom of the stairs. Harry hesitated, drinking in the sight of the beautiful red head. His Ginny. She was now more beautiful than he had remembered if such a thing was possible.

Ron hugged her fiercely and she hugged him back, but her hungry eyes never left the green ones staring back at her.

"Ginny! We've been worried sick about you! You alright? You look okay… Mom's gonna kill you, y'know that right?" Ron rambled on and she could barely hear him for the rushing in her ears. "Ginny?"

"Ron, I'll be with you in a minute, okay?" she said numbly, still transfixed by the sight of Harry. Ginny ran to him and locked him into a crushingly passionate kiss.

Harry was taken aback, his arms full of Ginny, but he wasn't about to fight it. Desire consumed her and she let it.

"Merlin, you guys! Get a room!" Dean shouted.

Ron stood shocked at the display, nearly purple with the realization of what they had discussed the night of the spell. She had avoided Harry because she was afraid of what she might do.

Daphne.

Ron ran out of the room for the Slytherin dorms, only to see an empty hallway. After a few minutes, excited students were filing out for breakfast.

"What are you doing so far from home, Weasel?" asked Draco, who was in a foul mood. Draco stood by himself, not walking with anyone. He had been lost in his own thoughts.

"Umm, Malfoy… Have you seen Daphne?" Ron actually gulped, too preoccupied to insult him.

Light dawned on Malfoy's face. Pansy. "They're back?"

Ron nodded, and smiled almost.

"Really? That's… great." He stared at the girl over his shoulder.

Pansy walked up right behind Ron. Seeing Draco her breathing became irregular and felt like running the opposite direction. "Ron? Can I ask you a favor?"

Ron spun around, "Pansy! Um. Welcome back."

"Can you walk with me to the Gryffindor Common Room? Maybe Ginny will let me use her bathroom." Her eyes never left Draco's.

"Why would you…"

"Now, Weasley!" She snapped.

"Um, okay sure." Ron said agreeably, a bit disappointed that Daphne hadn't been spotted yet.

"Draco," was her one word goodbye.

"Pansy, I…" Draco was interrupted by her abrupt departure, seeing only her back as she tore off with Ron, yanking him by the arm down the hall, back toward the upper levels. I'm sorry.

"I hate to be rude, Pansy. But what was that all about?" Ron said stiffly.

"Ron, things will be explained after we see the Headmaster and not before. Right now I haven't seen a bath in three weeks and I am damn well going to be swimming in one inside the next five minutes. Is that okay with you?" She wasn't asking permission.

"Um, yeah. Okay. Sure." Yes, ma'am. She sounded like his mother. All she missed was use of his full name.

She ran up the girls' steps to join Natalie in the prefect's enormous bathroom. Hermione had been so kind as to give them the password. They had been fantasizing about this ever since.

Pansy should have thought about it earlier, but she'd need a place to bunk until she found a way to… well… mate with the ferret. She stripped off the clothes she'd worn one too many times and thought very seriously about burning them as she slipped into soapy vanilla waters. Fragrant jasmine wafted from Natalie's end. She was doing a backstroke.

Pansy washed quickly, wanting to resume plans immediately. Dumbledore wouldn't leave them to their own devices for too long. She closed her eyes and felt the warmth of the bathtub. Suddenly her skin found a chill as she was again painfully reminded of her sister left behind. Hermione wasn't enjoying these luxuries and Pansy felt guilty. She grabbed a bar of soap and rubbed vigorously, trying to ignore any pleasurable sensations.

Ginny dove in behind her, bringing her back to the task at hand. Ginny washed quickly as well, rubbing soap into her hair and rinsing quickly, washing again for good measure. She shot Pansy a wink and stepped out— having the same thing in mind.

"Let's get this over with."

---------------------

"Millicent!" Neville hollered from the hall.

"That's Millie to you Neville," she said quietly.

"Millie. Are you alright?"

"Yeah. I'm okay."

He reached out his hand to take hers and she pulled back. Neville's heart sank, feeling a pang of rejection.

"Hey! Don't take offense, I've been living in a cave since Christmas. I must smell like Hagrid's barn!"

Neville smiled. "Nah…You look great. We've been really… I've been really worried about you." He stopped a moment and looked at her thoughtfully. "I know you must want to settle in. Do you… want me to carry your bag for you?" Way to go stupid, she doesn't like that kind of thing.

A boy had never offered to carry anything for Millicent in her life. She never felt more like a lady, even when she was waxed and dressed to kill for the Yule Ball. She could carry it herself, but why? "Thank you, Neville. I'd like that."

"Don't you have to see the Headmaster?" Neville asked as Dumbledore and Professor Snape looked on from the entrance.

Millicent looked back at the wise man, and then back at her companion. "It can wait." She put her arm in Neville's and was escorted like royalty to her suite.

----------------

"The bath felt so good. I'm going to have a longer one after we meet," Linda said.

"I'll never take a clean towel for granted again," Roberta agreed.

"Forget that," Luna interjected. "I want to sleep on a big fluffy bed that wasn't transfigured out of a couple of rocks." Daphne came back toward the Great Hall to join the rest of the SOS before entering the Headmaster's office as a group.

Ron didn't quite receive the welcome that he'd hoped. Daphne offered a warm smile to him and excused herself from the circle of girls to hug him tightly. It didn't feel romantic, no crushing kiss, it was almost… awkward.

"Daphne, what's wrong?" Ron asked sincerely holding her at arms' length.

She swallowed hard. Ron looked around at the gathering girls seeing familiar faces. As Natalie, Ginny and Pansy walked up the hallway, Ron's expression faltered slightly.

"Hey. Where's Hermione?"

Ginny and Pansy joined Daphne's side.

"Ron. Hermione is not here." Ginny said.

"Where is she? Is she still washing her hair? Must be giving her fits…" His voice trailed off, Ginny shaking her head, eyes glistening with new tears.

"NO! You're lying!"

"We're not Ron. I wish we were," Pansy admitted.

"It's the truth," said Ginny quietly, giving him the sisterly hug he deserved.

"Go to Harry, Ron. He needs you right now. I'll be back after we talk to Dumbledore. Hermione is fine. I have letters for you both, but I will give them to you myself. After." Ginny had spent twenty minutes talking to Harry about it before her bath. He was still sitting in shock where she'd left him on his bed.

Ron nodded mutely, tears streaming down his face. Daphne brushed one away and got on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek.

All of the girls were a bit misty at the display and all knew how he felt. She was their sister too.

The members of the SOS filed into Dumbledore's office. Lisa, Roberta, Linda, Ginny, Luna, Laura, Daphne, Natalie, Millie, Susan, Orla, Hannah, Pansy, Emma, Dora, Sally Ann, Marietta, Tracey and Felicia all stood side by side, many with arms around each other, both in support and friendship— and also in an effort to make a bit more room.

They were joined by Lupin, McGonagall, Snape, Flitwick, Pomfrey and the other professors. It was, needless to say, quite cramped.

Pansy led. "I hope you don't mind, but we would prefer to speak with you alone, Professor Dumbledore."

There was some grumbling amongst the adults, raised eyebrows and a couple of murmured 'why I nevers' when Ginny spoke up.

"Professor, might I have a word with you?" Ginny inclined her head imperceptibly to the left and Dumbledore stood, sweeping his arm to gesture her in the direction of what looked like a solid wall of books and baubles. With a wave of his hand it swung open and Ginny squeezed past the group of girls through to the adjacent room. She winked at Pansy who had been about to follow her, but took the suggestion. The door clicked shut behind them.

"Is that soundproof?" she whispered.

"Yes, Miss Weasley. Do you have a suggestion?"

"Yes, sir. Most of the girls don't trust Professor Snape and many distrust other teachers as well. Perhaps Pansy and I can just meet with you, while Remus and Snape…"

"That's Professor Lupin and Professor Snape, Miss Weasley."

"Yes, that's what I meant sir. While they watch from somewhere unseen?" She suggested.

Dumbledore thought for a moment.

"I've had classes in a small cave with them sir. It will be chaos."

"Quite right. Are you sure you don't want to pursue a career in teaching, Miss Weasley?"

"Yes, sir. Positive." She smiled at the complement.

"Well then, let's get on with things shall we?"

He opened the wall again.

Ginny sat and he addressed them all. "My dear students. I find it difficult to express my extreme sadness that you found the need to leave us. I have always felt that Hogwarts…" Dumbledore's throat hitched and he swallowed to compensate for his breaking voice. Everyone remained respectfully silent. "That Hogwarts would always be a safe place for students to study. These wards have held for over a thousand years, and we found to our astonishment that they were not impenetrable. As angry and disappointed as I was for your deliberate misconduct in breaking numerous school rules, frightening all of your peers and families, and putting all of us," he gestured to the staff, "through a considerable loss of sleep and shaving ten years off my life— I find myself unable to come up with a punishment suitable for your actions."

They all held their breath.

"I instead find myself in your great debt." A silver tear fell from his gray blue eyes, a rare time Minerva and others had seen the Headmaster cry. "I am honored, deeply honored to be in the presence of such brave, fine and noble young women. Powerful witches you must be to have accomplished what you did." He dabbed his eyes with a well-loved handkerchief, polka-dotted with house elves and Christmas trees.

All of the girls were nearly in tears too, feeling a mixture of both pride and guilt at leaving Hogwarts without word or trace of their whereabouts.

"Miss Weasley has suggested," he continued, "and rightly so, that perhaps I should speak to just her and Pansy for a summary of these events. Therefore, the rest of you are dismissed for now. Allow me to make a request, that you not discuss the circumstances surrounding your departure or subsequent adventures with any other students until you speak with us."

"Yes, sir." All of the girls murmured in unison.

Dumbledore stood and the staircase appeared. He escorted them out and signaled the other professors should leave as well. Albus pressed a gold skeleton key into Snape's palm as he passed and beckoned for Remus to join him back in his office. While Dumbledore took his time to arrange himself, Snape ran up the back steps to the room east of Dumbledore's office with a one-way mirror.

"Ladies, I have asked Professor Lupin to remain with us, as I believe you have something which belongs to him." A look over his spectacles was all the hint required to suggest that the book was long overdue.

"Yes, sir. Thank you for letting me borrow it," Pansy said with a mischievous smile as she retrieved the two halves from her bag.

Remus smirked and Dumbledore looked amused when Pansy pulled the outside cover from her bag in one length, but on the other side of solid, Snape's mouth dropped in shock.

"I'm sorry sir. They really should've make a large-print version of that book in four volumes so we could've saved our sight."

"Four?" Remus inquired with a laugh.

"Yes. Torture, healing spells and potions, wards, and more torture," Pansy ticked off on her fingers.

Remus laughed.

"Hermione and I…" Pansy looked away and licked her lips. Ginny put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "We had to split it in two so we could read it all."

"And were you able to 'read it all', Miss Parkinson?" Dumbledore asked while pouring cups of tea for the two women.

"Yes, sir. However, we hadn't finished all of it before the Ball. Guess we needed to 'read the fine print' as they say." Pansy and Ginny shifted uncomfortably in their seats.

Dumbledore sighed sadly. "This is a long story isn't it? Why don't you tell us the whole story, in your own words? There is plenty of time. Don't let us rush you."

Pansy took a deep shuddering breath and began. She told everything. Seeing Hermione in the club, their friendship, formation of the lists, recruitment for the group. The initial plan to lose their virginities and then changing the plan for the ward building spell. The Brownheimer Antidote, the spell casting— everything.

She discussed the reactions of the boys in the hallways of Hogwarts as the spells were being practiced, as well as their own efforts to curb their desire until the Yule Ball.

Ginny and Pansy laughed and bantered amongst themselves about the roles of the girls in the group and how they emerged. Melanie's role, Millie the Mistress of Desire, Luna's talents with a wand. Snape watched with fascination how freely they talked with each other, with intimate personal knowledge of each member of the SOS, like a family.

The three professors sat transfixed as they discussed the plots of their escape, the meticulous packing, Luna's charming of portkeys, the candles, of their knowledge of Malfoy coming, Millicent's subsequent fascination with poison, the pentacle and the cooperation of the house elves to allow the invisible ink to stay until the ball. They also acknowledged Dobby's invaluable sacrifice.

"Please don't punish him, sir."

"Why would I do that Miss Weasley? It seems like you wouldn't have gotten on well without him." Dumbledore observed.

"I wouldn't say that," Pansy said outright and then blushed.

"What we mean to say, is that we would've been able to relocate to a back-up site if the cave didn't workout," amended Ginny.

"And what option was that?" Remus asked, leaning forward.

"We don't know." Ginny said plainly.

"You don't know?" Lupin replied in shock.

"Hermione set up everything. It was safer that only one person knew," Pansy explained.

"So you don't know where she is," Dumbledore concluded.

They both shook their heads.

After a few moments of disappointed silence, Pansy spoke up. "Professor Dumbledore, could we finish up after lunch, sir? I don't know about you, but Ginny and I sure could use a break."

"Yes, of course," the bearded man nodded.

Ginny and Pansy got up and left, Ginny looking back at the Order members with a nod. There was more.

--------------------

Snape sat in the room next door to the Headmaster's office staring at the two empty chairs. They had no information. And they weren't lying— he could see it in their faces. Damn that stupid fool of a Gryffindor! WHY!

Dumbledore must have sensed the steam because soon enough the wall separating them vanished and Snape's furious expression was revealed.

"Damn it! We have to do something, we cannot let this go on! We were fortunate enough to find the girls when we did and they wanted to be found," Snape hissed.

"Can we trace Hermione's wand?" Remus suggested.

"She performed spells in the cave, Albus." Snape agreed.

"Severus, the Ministry stopped tracking their wands some time ago at my request," said the Headmaster.

"WHAT?!" They yelled together.

"It wasn't possible to be entirely sure that the Death Eaters would not have that knowledge first. And Hermione can live well enough without magic. She won't be one who would betray her whereabouts with a wand."

Snape was livid.

"Fetch Dobby," Dumbledore said.

Soon enough Dobby was sitting before the Headmaster, his legs dangling off the end of the chair. His chair was levitating a bit off the floor so that Dumbledore could see him over the lip of his desk.

"Sir? You wanted to see me, sir?" Dobby almost cowered. Hero time was over, and his regular duties had resumed.

"Dobby, I am very glad you helped the girls when they left. But I wonder, why exactly did you help them with the pentacle and not tell me?"

"Well s-s-sir, they says it was a s-s-surprise, sir. Miss Hermione, she is saying it was for protection and that she would bes explaining to you after." Dobby winced and crouched lower in his chair. He straightened. "And they did protect the school, sir."

"Yes, they did." Dumbledore admitted, sighing. He expected more from Dobby.

"Dobby let us skip to the end," Snape bit out. "Miss Granger asked you to bring things for her recently. What did you bring?" Snape's menacing glare did not improve his chances of finding out such details. Dobby's last interaction with Snape this morning was not pleasant.

Remus interrupted, "Dobby, please. Hermione is in a lot of danger. We don't know where she is. You aren't bringing things to her at some new location, are you?"

"No sir. Miss was saying no. I was bringing regular things for her: candles, books, clothes and potion making things. She is putting in all in that bag of hers."

"What bag Dobby?"

"She is having a bag with no bottom sir. She can puts as many things as she is wanting in there."

After some prodding, Dobby made out a list of items brought, but indeed they were ordinary. No luck.

-------------------

Ginny went straight back to the boys' dorms as she had promised to meet with Harry and Ron. Harry had apparently already gone on one of his tirades, because Ron was still repairing things. Harry had broken and reparo'd his glasses five times already. They both quieted when seeing Ginny in the doorway.

Ginny shut and warded it behind her and the boys sat on Harry's bed. After two hours in Dumbledore's office, her story was about to start all over again. She left nothing out and spent a lot of time on the spell itself.

"I can't believe you lived in a bloody cave!" Ron exclaimed. "The Forbidden Forest! Are you mad?"

"Actually, it was Hermione's idea. And despite the cold, it worked great. We were safe."

"If you were safe," Harry held her hand, "then why did you use your Goddess?"

Ginny pulled her hand away because she was losing her self-control. Harry could feel her heart racing even after her touch left. Or maybe that was his own.

"Wolves."

"Wolves? Attacked you?!" Ron gulped.

Ginny nodded. "You should have seen it. She was brilliant white like snow on a sunny day. It was around midnight on Christmas and the whole forest lit up."

"Wow." Ron said. "So whenever I call…"

Ginny clamped her hand over his mouth. "Save her, Ron. Save it for when you really need protection."

Ron nodded.

"Tell me about Hermione," Harry said in an empty voice, now calm enough to listen.

"She told me to tell you that she loves you both and to give you these." Ginny pulled the letters out of her dress robes and Ron left to his own bed to read his in private. Ginny made a move to leave as well, but Harry's hand on her arm stilled her movement.

"Stay."

Ginny sat back down as Harry read.

Dearest Harry—

I bet I can guess what you're thinking right now. 'Damn it, Hermione! What the hell were you thinking?'

Was I right?

Harry smirked.

And I am foolish. But not stupid. I want you to picture in your mind the terror of seeing Malfoy break an opening in the wards that night. And then I want you to picture the magnitude of that spell. It was terribly complex, Ginny can tell you. And if I were to return now, all of those girls' sacrifices would have meant nothing.

If I come back to Hogwarts, everything ends. The wards will fall. The Death Eaters and Voldemort will storm Hogwarts and this will all come to a head faster than we want it to.

Ginny and Pansy have to fulfill their parts of the spell but I can't. I am so sorry.

I doubt it will be possible without giving away my whereabouts but I will try to send word to you if I can.

Do not let yourself get to that sad, despondent place you were earlier this summer. If you get low, I want you to remember— I am fighting this war like you are. We're all in this together, just like I said. Not you alone… all of us.

The Order, Ron, Ginny, me and (I'm sure) eighteen other women are now at your disposal. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised at your new sources of support. Despite the heavy topic at hand, the experience I had with these women was a wonderful one for me. Ginny can vouch for that as well. Things will never be the same at Hogwarts for us, and I am changed because of it.

Take care. Be sure and study, I somehow think I will know if you don't!

Much Love,

Hermione

P.S. Melanie's got Crooks, make sure to take him off her hands if you can. She wasn't quite signing on for this long of a cat sitting job.

She loves animals and all, but he is a handful!

Harry read it again and again, tears brimming in his eyes. There was nothing he could do. She wanted to leave and she did. Ginny touched his arm and his eyes asked the question. Fulfill what spell?

Ron was sniffing and loudly blowing his nose in the next bed over.

"Ron? Are you alright?" Ginny asked.

He nodded, and then shook his head.

"Can we have some time alone? Would that be okay?" Ginny prompted.

Ron nodded mutely and left for the common room to sulk.

"I should get to class," Harry dodged, trying to bury any strong emotion.

"No you shouldn't," Ginny said intertwining her fingers with his.

"Really? Why not? You gonna give me a hall pass?" He smirked.

"Yeah, your former prefect passed it along courtesy of SOS," Ginny grinned playfully.

"SOS?"

She hadn't explained. "Save Our Selves."

Harry went pink around the ears.

"It's time for me to tell you the part of the spell we need to complete." Ginny got on her knees, brushed the back of Harry's hand lightly with her own, and Harry felt his insides tighten.

"W-wh-what was that?"

Ginny leaned forward until her body heat could be transmitted to him and whispered in his ear, close enough to touch. "I can't save myself anymore."

Gods.

Harry and Ginny took no time at all disrobing. They were already very comfortable with one another. Ginny was wild and Harry knew then this wouldn't work. He tried to please her and was surprised how easily she came under his caresses, though considering her condition, it must be the spell and not his skill. Ginny had calmed somewhat, and Harry's heart was racing like when he first saw her that morning.

"Oh Ginny…"

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Pansy marched toward the Slytherin dorms with single-minded purpose, wand ready. Goyle might be back there and any number of other adversaries. One way or another Draco was coming with her. Soon she was flanked by Millie and Daphne, grateful for the armed back-up.

"Millie? Could you fetch Draco for me?" Pansy asked seriously.

"Where do you want him?" Millie growled low with a devilish grin.

"Room of Requirement," Pansy barked. No, spread eagle naked on a bed waiting for me when I get up there. Quit it.

Daphne and Millicent saluted and Pansy left in the opposite direction.

As Pansy marched up the flights of moving staircases continuing the argument with herself, she wondered what she would say. Should she hex him? Could she scream at him first? No. She was way past the point of rational thought. Pansy found she couldn't be angry with him. And then she could. Damn.

Pansy paced back and forth and concentrated hard about the room she needed. Not a broom closet. When she opened the door, sounds from Kinky Wizards played and leather straps were dangling from the tall posts of a mahogany bed. She slammed the door. Oh, hell no.

Good grief. She concentrated again. They needed to talk.

She opened the door hesitantly, just a crack and was relieved to see a normal couch with a large rug, fire,hot tea and no music. Thank Merlin for that.

"Pansy?"

She jumped nearly a foot in the air, Draco right behind her.

"Damn it, don't do that! You scared the hell out of me! Don't ever do that again!" She yelled. He looked great. Damn it, how can one man look so good?

"Actually Pansy, that's what I was hoping to talk to you about."

Oh shit, he wants to talk! Don't talk. Those lips… Quit it, Pansy! "Why don't you come in?" She finally managed.

Pansy warded the room's door behind her as soon as they entered and Draco looked suspiciously at her. She was entitled. She'd just disappeared for three weeks.

She sat on the green velvet couch as far to the end as she could and poured tea.

"Pansy I wanted to say that I'm sorry," Draco began.

"Sorry?" You know what? You're really sorry. Draco. Don't sit. Don't si...t. Oh, sat too close. It's getting warm in here.

"Yes, I shouldn't have treated you the way I did before the Yule Ball. It was wrong and I'm sorry. I really like you Pansy, and I didn't treat you the way that you deserved. I know that doesn't make up for things, but I've been waiting for you to come back so I could apologize like I should have four weeks ago."

Pansy was shocked. "You're serious."

"Yes of course, why wouldn't I be?"

"Don't know." This is awkward.

"Pansy, I don't know what happened that night at the Ball. That spell, was… incredible. I've only heard a lot of rumors, but I think I know well… I'm sorry, I know I could've screwed it up for you."

Pansy sighed, this was going better and worse than she had hoped. Damn it, why did he have to be so nice!

Draco leaned in toward her, listening actively for her response. Pansy immediately got up and paced, she needed to put some distance between them. "Draco, stay there. Just, stay way over there." She tried to catch her breath, walked to the opposite side of the room, and began her very unromantic wooing of Draco. "Let me break it down for you. In short, twenty of us sacrificed our virginities to make sure Hogwarts' wards would stay up. But in order to do that we had to focus our strongest desires on one person. And I already liked you last summer so…"

Draco's jaw dropped. "So your saying…"

Pansy bowed her head bashfully and bit out the admission between her teeth. "Yourtheobjectofmydesire."

"What was that?"

"I SAID YOU"RE THE OBJECT OF MY DESIRE!!!" Pansy shut her mouth and clamped her hand over it.

"What exactly does that mean?" He saw Pansy standing so far away and began to feel ashamed and guilty. "I'm sorry Pansy. I didn't mean to make you afraid of me. I should leave. I won't bother you…" He made to leave.

"NO! I'm not afraid of you Draco… Shit. I want you!"

Now he was really confused. Pansy couldn't stand it anymore, proximity had no relationship to her desire at this point. She ran to him and kissed him hard on the lips, wrapping her arms around him in a death grip. She clawed at the back of his cloak, pulling it off in one motion. She could talk and kiss, Pansy thought. She could. Couldn't she?

--------------------

Dumbledore had just dismissed the staff from his presentation of the students' return. Remus, Severus and Minerva remained to further discuss the concerns about Hermione Granger's disappearance. Dumbledore stood shot out of his chair when the walls vibrated. He could feel the wards go up and hum for a moment, then quiet.

"What the hell?" Snape bolted down the spiral staircase, the others close behind his elongated steps. Walking into the Great Hall, nothing seemed amiss with the exception of the faint blue glow of the pentacle. The ink had long gone, but the spell clearly remained.

"What was that Professor?" A young student exclaimed. There was murmuring all around.

"Nothing. All is well." Dumbledore reassured, "Go back to your lunches."

Dumbledore turned to see the Professors and all had noticed the students missing. Draco Malfoy, Pansy Parkinson, Ginny Weasley and Harry Potter. Performing a location spell, Dumbledore knew immediately where the missing students were.

"Well Albus?!" Minerva snapped.

"They appear to be fine, Minerva." His expression was solemn. He wasn't saying anything.

------------

Ginny and Harry felt the earth move. And, as magnificent as their first time was, they were almost positive the earth moved for everyone else, too.

"Harry, I hate to do this to you but, there are going to be more questions," Ginny said.

"Don't worry, I understand," Harry said, kissing her temple as she threw on her robes. "Did you uh…"

"Harry Potter! Give me some credit! I took a contraceptive potion this morning Madam Pomfrey gave me just before Christmas. You should have seen her, she was thrilled."

Harry almost let out an audible whew.

"I mean really, with my mom's track record? I could get pregnant from borrowing your broomstick!" She kissed him again. "Gotta run. I love you, Harry."

"I love you too, Ginny." He smiled fondly at her.

She turned to leave and he called after her. "Hey! Maybe we could… Maybe later we can start over and do this without the aid of magic?"

She laughed. "I'm holding you to that." Slower would be better, not that she was complaining.

Ginny ran into her Professors just as she exited the portrait hole. "Professor McGonagall, Professor Lupin, Professor Dumbledore." She swallowed. "It's time to have another…chat."

"I should say so Miss Weasley. I daresay you left a few details out," said Dumbledore sternly.

Ginny walked ahead of everyone so she could avoid the harsh glares. She had dressed in a hurry, and she was sure the use of a comb would have improved her appearance.

Sitting back in Dumbledore's office, Ginny finally reached her limit. After all that had transpired over the school term and the least few weeks, Ginny lost her temper. "Will you please just stop that?! Stop it! Stop the looks, stop judging me…" Minerva looked shocked to white. "Stop looking at me like I'm some kind of loose woman or something! First you berate us as though we were all sleeping around. And now I finally do have sex and your shocked! Well fine!"

Dumbledore was also a bit pink, and knew he had indeed deduced correctly. "You are correct Miss Weasley, we were wrong to judge you. However, we were a might startled by a additional raising of the wards. I assume that is what happened. Care to explain?"

Ginny drew in a breath. "There is another part of the spell we need to discuss. Where's Professor Snape? He needs to be here."

-------------------------

Snape got word from Millicent on their location, not easily of course, but she could be bought. Draco and Pansy in the Room of Requirement. Honestly, they were not four hours since their return. Could they not catch up at some other time? 'Can we finish up after lunch Professor? I'm sooo tired!' He mocked in his head. Little snake.

Draco could barely keep up. "Let me smooch get this groan straight…" Draco gasped. "We have to… have sex… or the— oh my God what are you doing to me?"

"The wards could fall if someone kills you, yeah. Yes, right…. there..." Pansy growled, and imagined the four poster bed from before. "That's about it." She bit his shoulder and he moaned a little, laying her into the large duvet.

"And that's what that shaking was?"

"Yeah, oh yes… kiss me th…"

Great. Draco was not at all thrilled with the prospect of dying, or turning down a girl so eager for his attentions. But it was a sacrifice he was willing to make.

Snape flew up the steps and tried to wrench the door open after the requisite number of passes. It didn't budge.

So he began to yell.

"Miss Parkinson, Mister Malfoy come out here this minute!" Merlin, I sound like my mother.

"Shit! Snape!"

Draco began to move but Pansy, already in panic mode, shoved him back down on the bed. We have to finish this now!

"HEKATE!" Pansy's Goddess appeared before the door and Snape fell to his knees in recognition of the greater presence before him. Something very important was happening on the other side of that door. Merlin, this is not really life or death here. Not like wolves in the forest.

"What the hell is that?!" Draco asked. Light shone through seams in the door and lit half the room in a soft white glow.

"Too long to explain, she's buying us time. Shut up and kiss me! Pass me the… Silencio!" She reached for her wand and cast the charm on the door.

Thank God this wasn't his first time, Pansy thought. This was actually his third sexual encounter, not that he had any more control for it. He had never had anyone want him this badly and it was intoxicating. Pansy radiated heat and Draco was almost worried things would be over before they started. Draco stopped her frantic attempts to maximize contact. She whined loudly.

"Pansy, let me slow things down a bit," he breathed into her neck.

"Slower?! Are you nuts? Death Eater on the other side of the door, could kill you and… oh my Gods yes! You want to ahh…" She sucked in a sharp breath.

She didn't think, she couldn't. There was just feeling… And oh please…

"Shhh," he whispered in her ear, holding her arms lightly above her head, while he kissed her ears, neck and breasts. Pansy was losing all control and he tightened his grip. "Wait luv, wait… Ohhh!"

So that's what it's like to see her. Beautiful. Snape waited outside and could scarcely meet the gaze of the formidable Goddess before him. Hekate the goddess of magic. Wielder of magic, a chthonian goddess— she had the power to execute punishment where she saw fit. The sorceress Medea called for her when casting dark spells. Pansy was afraid of him, he surmised. Death at her door.

Gaia did not stir.

Suddenly the wards shook again and the floor thrummed beneath Snape's knees. Bloody hell. The wards raised again, that was obvious. He knew he was missing a piece of the puzzle. It didn't take much to reverse engineer the solution to his query.

The goddess blew him a kiss and vanished as her job was done. The gold key burned hot in his pocket, an immediate call for his presence. Snape turned to leave, reluctant to shirk his responsibility to dispense discipline to students who probably needed punishing… Hell. Who gives a damn. Damn teenagers.

Snape dashed back toward Dumbledore's chambers taking a shorter back way. There were thankfully a hundred different short cuts in the enormous castle, otherwise the professors would need new knees every three years. Blasted stairs.

He entered through the side but it was already open. Ginny had been waiting, drumming her fingers impatiently on her arm. The other professors were mysteriously quiet.

"Finally Severus, you are here. I trust Mister Malfoy and Miss Parkinson are alright?" Dumbledore inquired.

Snape made a sour face and sat stiffly in the available chair.

"Well then. We are all here Miss Weasley, please continue."

"First, let me begin by explaining how the five were chosen to stand at five points."

"The five points of the pentacle?" Minerva inquired.

"Yes. We all talked about who had the most desire. Millie of course was the Mistress of Desire so she was honorary. Pansy had some kind of magnetic attraction for Draco that none of us could understand. But three of us had the strongest feelings. Lisa and Terry were dating for a year, no surprise there. Harry and I were getting serious, but we were all surprised when Hermione talked about her feelings. And before you ask, we don't know who he is and for her safety I'm glad we don't. More later on that count." Ginny took another breath. "Pansy was saying before about how we didn't read the entire book before the spell was cast. We thought it was permanent from the outset. Stupid loopholes. When we cast, we thought we all could remain virgins. The spell, I have to tell you— The desire, is incredibly difficult to fight. Last semester I avoided Harry for two weeks before the spell. After we cast nearly everyone was alright. Our desires subsided after the Yule Ball and all of us were so busy just trying to process what had happened and settling in the shelter. Pansy, Hermione and I didn't notice then we weren't off the hook."

"On Christmas Night, Pansy read further into the book and that's how we found out about what Malfoy's had tried to do. He used the… Haustum Vik…Vig…"

"Haustum Vigor," supplied Snape.

"…something or other and Hermione's blood. It was hers right?" Ginny seethed.

Dumbledore nodded.

"Bastard. Anyway, Pansy told Hermione and I that the three of us, since we were the last ones who fell… the ones who resisted the most— had to consummate our relationships with the object of our desire to seal the spell. We knew we had to hide out three weeks to make sure no one could kill us to break the wards, but we had no idea we'd be required to have sex…"

"You're joking. This is absurd!" McGonagall exclaimed.

Ginny huffed in agreement. "I wish I were. The thing is, the spell wanted to be satisfied. If we didn't, Harry or Draco could be killed and the wards would fall. We weren't about to let that happen. At least now Harry and Draco are safe."

"And what about Miss Granger? Why didn't she return?" Minerva asked.

"She… said she couldn't fill the requirements of the spell. You should ask Pansy. She and Pansy were closer about those details than I. From what I know, she is very much in love with someone she either can't have, won't return her affection or whatever. She will not allow herself to be captured and no one knows her secret. No clues, no dating. Nothing."

"What about Anthony…" Remus suggested.

"The Ravenclaw Prefect? No way. I had to point out his interest to Hermione. She didn't even notice him until I mentioned it. She practically forced herself to go out with him and right when they seemed to hit it off, they stopped seeing each other around the time the rumors started flying." Minerva crouched lower in her chair.

------------------

As soon as it was over, the world righted. Their breathing slowed, and Pansy regarded her conquest. Reality collapsed back on the pair.

"You have a lot of apologizing to do," she said throwing on her clothes.

Draco's mind was not at all focused and his ears were still ringing. "What?"

"You heard me. I was vulnerable. I had no control over my desire anymore and now I do!" Pansy ranted.

"But, but…"

"I know you apologized to me and I'm glad, but I still don't trust you Draco. You hurt me. You did. And then you slept with that… that girl, and threw it in my face the same damn night! And then I had to do that stupid fucking spell one week later, okay? Fantasizing about you, who I both lusted after and hated. UGH! And I swear I didn't know then that I'd have to have sex with you to make things permanent." She vented like she had wanted to for weeks. This! This was the conversation. This was the shouting match she wanted to have before they had sex and now Draco didn't have the strength to yell back. It was anti-climatic.

"So, I'll talk to you later?" He asked sheepishly.

"Count on it." And she left a half naked Draco in the Room of Requirement.

-------------------------

"Just to let you know Professor, the Slytherin girls joined because they didn't want to be offered up to the Dark Lord like a piece of property, a tool to be used. But in the beginning they made it very clear that their participation didn't mean they disagreed with the You-Know-Who altogether. Just when it affected them."

Snape nodded slightly.

"But after what Lucius Malfoy did that day— everyone was just… terrified. And now we're so close, I'm not sure who's changed their mind and who hasn't. But, if I had to guess, I'd say Pansy for sure wants no part of it, and maybe Millie, Linda and Roberta. Still not sure about Daphne," Ginny contemplated.

"Hmmm, Miss Weasley. I imagine this has been a far more powerful time for you than the spell alone could account for, am I right?" Dumbledore surmised.

Yes, sir. For all of us."

"Miss Parkinson is about to join us I believe," he announced.

McGonagall, Lupin and Snape retreated to the alternate room, taking their tea with them. Dumbledore straightened in his chair upon Pansy's entrance.

"Miss Parkinson, I trust you are… well," he drawled with a sly smile.

Eww, that was just uncalled for. "So you explained then, Ginny?" Pansy bit out tersely, wanting to be included in that conversation.

Ginny winced and nodded.

"So where did you leave off?" Pansy sighed.

"I believe it's time to hear a little more about those blessings of yours," Dumbledore prompted.

"Oh yeah. Sorry, we're so used to not discussing it," Ginny said. They had left that topic out of the previous discussion of the spell entirely.

"Taboo subject, for safety reasons," Pansy added.

"Don't want to accidentally blurt of the name of your Goddess," admitted Ginny.

"Quite right. Let's start with how many blessings were bestowed," he suggested.

Pansy began. "Fewer than we thought actually. The spell itself doesn't automatically provide us each with the magic of a goddess. The separate incantation is required to pair up people to make it work. Blessings are bestowed, a deliberate action…"

"A lot of us were too stunned from the force of the spell to complete our blessings," explained Ginny.

"And did all of the witches who gave blessings, bless the object of their desire?" Dumbledore inquired quietly. Snape held his breath, not considering that as a possibility, but surprised to find that he wished it were so.

"No way!" Pansy said laughing, a cruel ending to Snape's thought.

"Of course not," Ginny interjected. "We kind of did it based on who was standing closest. I mean, look at Millicent and Lisa. Lisa was the one who blessed Neville and she and Terry were dating for over a year. Millie blessed Terry."

"Daphne blessed Ron," Pansy recalled. "Susan got Seamus…"

"I blessed Harry, of course, and Pansy you blessed…" Ginny trailed off.

"Melanie."

"Melanie?" Dumbledore inquired.

"Oh. If you think after that…" Pansy bit her tongue. "Anyway, no way was I going to bless Draco."

Ginny leaned her head in toward his desk and said under her breath, "They had a falling out."

Pansy whacked her on the arm.

"Ow. At least you made up," Ginny muttered under her breath quickly and Pansy glared.

She snapped her fingers trying to remember, "Who else? Umm, hey… Hermione never did say who she blessed." She turned to face Ginny and the red head's jaw clenched.

Pansy thought about it a moment, remembering the ball— seeing Hermione fall, and someone kneeling over her.... Ginny knew she had put it together.

"Professor Snape?! Fuck! WHY?!" Pansy pushed herself up from the chair forgetting completely about Dumbledore's presence in the room.

Ginny held up a hand. "Pansy."

Pansy swiftly added things up. "Oh. Oh! Oh my God. I was right the first time wasn't I? When I saw him walking with Lupin."

Ginny just stared at her and Dumbledore remained silent.

"He's a spy. He is. Isn't he?" Pansy inquired to her sister. She pointed at her. "You knew."

"He was at the top of our list," Ginny admitted. "He's in more danger than any one of us."

"I can't believe you kept this from me! How could you?"

Dumbledore opened his mouth to speak but Ginny continued her lecture. "It was a secret that needed to be kept. There are lots of things I haven't told you, and you have secrets too." Pansy turned her back. "Think about it. You're in Slytherin, daughter of a Death Eater. You needed to continue to fear Snape. We all did."

"That's why Hermione was trying so hard to convince me…"

"You can't tell anyone."

Pansy turned to face her. "I wouldn't."

"How was I supposed to know that?!" Ginny exclaimed.

"Ginny, how could you think that I would?! Why did you think Hermione and I started the SOS in the first place?"

"To save your own neck!" Pansy paled. "True, yeah?" Ginny proposed confidently.

"At first… but Hermione's my best friend, Ginny. How could you think that I would betray her after all we went through together?"

"Harry parents were betrayed by their best friend, Pansy. With the whole purity of the bloody wizarding race thing, you never know. Not really." Ginny's voice was serious and low.

"I wouldn't say anything, I swear it. You have my word. I'll swear an oath." She held up her wand.

"You better, because I've got an 'obliviate' with your name written all over it." Ginny meant business. Snape was inwardly proud of her defense of him, even though his charade as a spy had been uncovered by the 16 year-old girl.

"Miss Parkinson, you are now a part of a very select group. I'm sure you understand the importance of secrecy and what is at stake here," the old wizard said gravely. He waved his hand to reveal the three observers, and the commanding form of Severus Snape strode in to regard the young Slytherin sleuth.

"Hello, Miss Parkinson." He pulled up his left sleeve and showed her the mark.

"So it's true."

"It's true, yes. But you must behave as you normally do," Snape instructed.

"I can't believe I wasted my goddess on you," Pansy groaned.

Snape let a smile creep across his features. "That was impressive, and unnecessary. However, it would have been helpful to know what you were trying to accomplish beforehand."

She blushed.

"Pansy, can you imagine someone better paired with Hermione now that she's gone? He'll know right away if she gets captured," Ginny professed.

Snape wished that were so.

Pansy gasped and sat up in her chair. "So do you know about Kendra then?" She asked eagerly.

All of the professors looked at the floor. "Information on her disappearance has not been shared with me. The Dark Lord has been very careful about his assignments lately. I regret that I have heard nothing," Snape admitted.

She sighed in disappointment.

-----------------------

Hermione sat and cried. She was better off. She told herself that she needed to leave for the war, for Hogwarts, for Harry, for Severus. And she was afraid.

She had written her parents and any moment now, she thought, Ginny would be giving Dumbledore the news which would devastate her parents. She dearly hoped they would understand.

She must have cried two hours at least, and finally shook it off and straightened herself to gather bath water. She scooped water into her pitcher over two dozen trips until she was tired. Wearily she dared peer into the cauldron. Only one-quarter full. Ugh. She rested for a moment but forced herself back out into the bitter cold, determined to at least reach the two-thirds full water mark before she decided to heat the water.

Buckwheat would start at the school and work his way outward. He always made the trip through the treetops of the Forbidden Forest, stopping every so often to hide amongst high branches camouflaging hisentry.

She sang, trying to keep her chin up but her breath hitched in places. "Spinning, laughing, dancing to her favorite song… A little girl with nothing wrong is all alone. Eyes wide open always hopin' for the sun… and she'll sing her song to anyone that comes along..."

He knew that sound. Buckwheat swooped lower and lower, breaking through the forest canopy and descending toward the forest floor. He still heard singing, but no sight of Hermione. The music would cut out for a few moments and start suddenly again as she walked toward the riverbank. Peculiar.

"Fragile as a leaf in autumn, just fallin' to the ground… without a sound. Crooked little smile on her face… tells a tale of grace, that's all her own…"

She turned to head back up the slope to the mouth of the cave and reached out to an old tree root to support some of her weight as she hiked up the low hill. Buckwheat swept in to greet her and she screamed. Losing her footing, she fell back into the snow and narrowly missed the stream.

"Buckwheat!" Hermione was never so happy to see an animal in her life. "You scared me to death!" She brushed snow off her cloak and arms, shaking out her half-frozen curls. He hooted his hello and followed her up to the cave. He swiveled his head when he watched her pass through solid stone.

Realizing what had happened to her feathered companion, she reached her arm back through the illusion for him to perch on. He flew to her, landing lightly on the offered forearm.

"Home sweet home," she said sarcastically. "What do you have there?" She took the package from his grasp along with Katie's letter.

January 15th

My dear friend—

I had just arrived home this morning to read the Daily Prophet. I fervently hope he finds you soon, safe, and well.

Wherever you are, know I am here to help you if you have need of me. As always our mutual friend is so discreet. Please entrust him with your swift reply.

At the very least, I hope that this manuscript, now published— provides to you some comfort on your journey. You worked hard for it. We're on back order you know.

Be well,

K.R.

Hermione carefully removed the wrapping to reveal the handsome leather bound book, Revitalizing Potions for the Modern Age. Hermione cried again. The grayish silver seal on black background stared back at her.

Severus. Congratulations.

Buckwheat hopped to her side and managed to reach out affectionately to the young weeping woman who had been so kind to him. She stroked his feathers and his companionship soothed her. Drying her tears, she took out her quill and inkand penned her careful reply.

Dear K.R.

Things are very different since Christmas as you will soon see. You gift could not have been better timed and brought me more comfort than you can know.

Be assured that I am well, but I regret that I will not be able to safely correspond with you as I would like.

Send back our mutual friend in six weeks and I will send a reply if I can.

Many thanks for your kind friendship.

She left no signature. Her calligraphy would be enough identification for Katie. She read it several times to be sure, and gave careful instruction to Buckwheat. "I can't use magic to seal this, understand? So if trouble comes, do your best to destroy it okay?"

Buckwheat ruffled his feathers in a huff. He was no amateur. She stroked him one last time and she watched him fly out into the distance.

----------------------

At Ginny's request no details of ward breaking risks were discussed with her parents, though she imagined it would only be a matter of time before they found out. It was hard to keep such important details a secret in Order meetings and both Molly and Arthur were very active members. She wanted to keep her sexual conduct private for as long as she could, otherwise Harry would be mincemeat… Boy Who Lived or not— and her mum's reaction would make Minerva McGonagall look downright liberal by comparison.

Molly Weasley took it well all in all, opting to hug Ginny until she couldn't breathe over a motherly lecture. She was terrified at her story of the spell and her stay in the forest, but became tearful, flustered and weepy all over again when she heard Hermione hadn't returned. Arthur remained quiet, and supportive, listening carefully to what was said and what had been omitted, knowing he would need a conversation with Albus soon about strategy. The clear consensus was that Hermione could not remain alone without protection. They simply had to find her.

Dumbledore couldn't put it off any longer as he held in his hands the only correspondence Hermione had sent, a letter addressed to her parents. He hadn't told her parents of her disappearance over Christmas, hoping she would return before he would need to explain. In hindsight, not his wisest decision. He was tempted to open it, but instead gently laid it in front of the snowy retreat. They were likely quite tired of snow, having spent nearly seven months at a cabin getaway for two.

A wave of his wand and he was standing outside of their cottage. Rapping on the wooden door, Wendy Granger was startled to have their first company in half a year.

She hoped… "Hermione? Oh, Professor Dumbledore," she sighed with disappointment. "What a surprise. Do… do come in. I'm sorry," she sniffed. "We've just been missing our daughter. She usually writes for Christmas and the last letter we received was weeks ago."

"Forgive us, Wendy and I have been a bit worried because Hermione has been asking us to pray for her and some other students at school. Usually it's about studies and tests, but the sound of her last letter really worried us. Is everything all right?"

"Let us talk in my office," Dumbledore said solemnly and the Grangers were not at all reassured by his tone.

Soon they were seated in front of him and he was breaking the news. How much should he tell non- magical parents of a gifted child? He decided to correct his previous mistake and tell them the truth.

"Mr. and Mrs. Granger, Hermione and several other students here had taken it upon themselves to shoulder an enormous responsibility. Unbeknownst to any of the staff or their friends, twenty students came together during a school function and performed a complex spell to maintain the protective mechanisms, called wards, on this castle. They made an incredible sacrifice that day, and for their safety decided it would be in their best interests to leave the protection of the castle." The Granger sat in shock, trying to absorb his rather general overview. "For three weeks they lived in secret in a nearby forest. They lived in a cave, and did very well despite meager accommodations. Most students returned just this morning and are in excellent health."

"Most?" Mr. Granger inquired harshly. "Where is my daughter? You were supposed to be protecting her!"

"Magical spells and complexities being what they are, Hermione felt it was not safe to return here. So she has opted not to return and did not tell us where she has gone."

"Oh my God. Oh My God. Robert…" Wendy turned to her husband for support and then promptly changed gears. She would not let fear rule her. "What are you going to do to locate our daughter?" Her face was firm and solid, not a trace of fear, just dedicated concentration. Albus lost a tear as he was looking in the face of Hermione's mother. So that's where she got it from.

--------------------------

Pansy surprised Professors Vector, Sprout, Snape, McGonagall, Flitwick, and Lupin with the collected homework of twenty girls as taught by their peers. There assignments were completed based on anticipated course objectives from the syllabi they had taken with them, an admirable feat considering their inability to use magic in their absence. What had most impressed their teachers was their submission of class lecture notes from the substitutes. Luna had taught Charms, Hermione taught Potions and Herbology, Millicent and Pansy taught Defense, and Lisa taught Arithmancy. They received praise for even considering to continue their studies even in hiding, but they failed to realize the necessary distraction study had offered them in their confinement.

Other students were occupied most of the day in their classes, though most found it difficult to concentrate on their professors as their thoughts drifted to the return of the lost ones. It had been an awkward day for the girls within the comfortable warmth of Hogwarts walls. Most spent their day unpacking, taking baths, reuniting with their familiars, or napping in their own beds if they could sleep.

Pansy noted that many of her sisters had opted to evade their peers rather than socialize. They were probably avoiding those inevitable uncomfortable questions. Did you really sacrifice your virginity? Did it hurt? Where did you go? Will the Ministry prosecute you? And so forth. It was obvious she had to intervene that evening when they left to the Great Hall for their first significant rejoining with their classmates. When Pansy entered the hall for supper she spied a large group of SOS members congregating at the end of the Gryffindor near the head table. They had separated themselves from the group and were talking in low voices, their disconnection from the rest of the school was obvious and noticed by the rest of the student body. There was a sad twinkle in Dumbledore's eyes as he looked on, allowing the senior students to handle it. Pansy looked Ginny's direction and she picked up on her sister's concern. Ginny rose to join her and they walked down together.

Laura, Linda, Roberta, Hannah, Emma, Dora, Orla, Tracey, Felicia and Sally Ann were all seated close together. Pansy noted that they were mostly younger and made note of Orla, who probably felt more of a sense of belonging in this group than she did in her own House. Pansy's standing form could be seen throughout the hall and several others of the group (Daphne, Millie, Natalie, Susan, Luna and Marietta) arrived at her side in support.

"We need to talk."

"Do we need to go to the Room of Requirement?" Laura asked Pansy.

Ginny shook her head. "It's time to go back to being students," she said quietly.

Oh. Several of the younger heads looked down, dejected.

"We are still sisters and we're still going to talk and chat and laugh. None of that will stop," Millie said to Orla, "…just because the spell is finished."

"It's time for us to chum around with our classmates and live," Pansy urged. "We did it, remember? We're safe now." She put a comforting arm around Felicia and a lot of the other older girls followed her lead. It was an important moment, and the sincerity in their eyes told one another that they weren't losing anything by parting.

"But, but what do I say… if they ask me…" Emma looked down at her hands. "I don't know what to say."

"Don't say anything," Millie said firmly. "You don't have to. It's your business and besides… Dumbledore asked us not to."

"Yeah, that's got to be good enough for them, hey! Besides… they were all there. Let them figure it out," chuckled Daphne.

"Let's go," Pansy nudged. And then, in twos, they got up from the table and rejoined their classmates arm in arm. Things wouldn't be the same as before. The change would be good, and they all had made permanent friends.

--------------------

Once again, it had been a long day. Snape sat at the fireplace with a glass of bourbon and a handful of potions notes.

He could scarcely take it in. Pansy and Ginny satisfied the requirements of the spell within four hours of returning. That was no doubt planned. The spell may have been damn foolish, but they were incredibly calculated and executed it brilliantly.

Right under Dumbledore's nose.

At least Mister Malfoy and Boy Wonder were safe.

Poor Hermione. Who is she protecting? She is so alone now, feeling she can't come home. He knew what that was like.

That was what this was of course. One big bloody fucking mistake. And Hermione was seeing only one option. Snape knew, he knew what it was like feeling there was only one choice, one way of doing things. One way out, and only he could do it himself. Thinking he made his bed and he'll lie in it.

Hermione had gotten herself into a mess and she was trying to do a noble thing—but a foolish thing. Damn! Stubborn girl.

He took out the Pensieve again. He had spent the whole last term as her tutor, hell she was practically a research peer— and even part of the last summer he had seen her. Who was the object of her desire? If Hermione was in love, how could he could he not notice the signs? Snape wasn't so sure he could recognize it.

Hermione used to show all emotion. She had a hot temper, shouted at him a few times and it amused him when her temper would flare, especially when she was passionately defending an idea or theory.

Her running was wasting good opportunities for research. Good opportunities for life.

When Severus had finally returned to the world of the living, he damn near didn't have a life left to enjoy. He bent into the swirling silvery substance of memory and allowed himself to plunge.

" This is no ordinary love… no ordinary love…

Keep dying for you… keep trying for you…"

He was back at the club, but now able to move freely to the front row to study her expressions. Sometimes she seemed so transparent, clear honesty showing on her face. The subtleties of her expressions could be seen, the fear of watching Malfoy for the handoff, the jarring of reality when she looked at the manager and redoubling her efforts at giving a great performance. She was beautiful, even then. But as Myra Winters she was pretending to be older, dressed in a costume to appear more mature than her tender years. Her actions were exaggerated to compensate for natural youthful disposition.

But today, this morning in the cave, she wasn't pretending anymore. Just like the day of the spell… Blessings of Gaia be with you, Severus. A grown woman was staring back at him. A woman sang at the Yule Ball, a woman sat on his couch submerged in potions research. No wonder he was falling for her.

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She turned the pages of her art, an intimate intermingling of Severus' work and her own. He really was a brilliant man. She read and reread, admiring the effects of the colors used by the printer to achieve the effects of plants with realism, though she preferred the look of the original of course. She should be proud, and when she reached the end she saw he decided to keep her Note from the Artist. It was a high complement for him to allow such a thing, because he was such a private man. She had been effuse with her complements and it meant so much more to her knowing that her mention of Gesupelte was indeed so personal a reference for him.

She felt her cheeks flush touching the leather book. This was his work. He took years probably in writing it. She closed her eyes and thought about an image of him hunching over his work, brewing and scribbling furiously his thoughts on parchment, his magnificent hands flying as fast as his thoughts could come. She lit the fire under the cauldron to heat the water. After fifteen minutes, she put out the fire and let the water cool a bit. Cauldrons were fortunately made so that the inside was insulated from the high temperatures achieved by the outer metal and heat evenly distributed throughout the pot. Hermione reached in and touched the bottom of the pot; and when she felt satisfied she wouldn't scald herself— she took her first private bath in three weeks.

She disrobed slowly, allowing her mind to drift as it had before the Yule Ball, fixated on the object of her desire. Severus. She tugged at her shirt and imagined the cloth rubbing against her skin was him. His fingers, his attentions. She closed her eyes and touched herself as indirectly as possible, savoring the fantasy that his touch, not hers, was pleasuring her. It had been so difficult these last weeks, tormented by thoughts of him in closed quarters with her sisters. Late at night she couldn't manage to sneak opportunities for self-gratification while others slept. Hermione was too vocal for quiet pleasuring.

Now that she was alone she could remember again the feel of his grasp around her wrists, pulling her close to him as he looked into her eyes. She put a toe in the water and stepped in. She wasn't wearing a stitch of clothing, but wanted to maintain her fantasy for as long as she could. Grasping a fresh oval bar she wetted it and began to wash, allowing only the buttery soft texture of soap to slide across her skin. She lingered on the sensitive veins of her neck, the light pressure giving pleasurable sensations as her hands descended lower to her breasts, swollen and responsive from her attentions.

She writhed in the water, her body singing with the echoes of splashing. If he had been there, making love to her in the water, surely it would sound like this. She abandoned the sliver of silk pleasure for her own more experienced fingertips and parted her eager lips to find the aching peak between them. She pinched her nipples as she rubbed small circles with her right hand— eventually both hands found her liquid paradise, crescendos of ecstasy crashing in waves as she reached a higher note still with each passing stroke.

She cried out her lover's name over and over, grateful of the privacy 'silencio' offered, but secretly wishing he could her professions from here.

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Author's Notes:

Here's the next chapter y'all, possibly the longest yet. I am overwhelmed by your comments and support. You make it so easy for me to write and help me with loopholes in the story. Thanks to all the reviewers for your enthusiasm, please continue to review and give feedback! Y'all help me decide where the fic will go next as much as my own imagination. I have half of the next chapter written and have a skeleton of the rest of the story. Comments are appreciated!

The song above is from Norah Jones, Seven Years. The other is of course the reprint of lyrics from No Ordinary Love by Sade.

Chapter 19 should be posted in a week hopefully less. I need to work on details in the middle of another excellent plot device… I can't wait to see what you think.

mione drac opal- Patience Luke. Use the force. I'm updating as fast as I can! Thanks for reviewing.

Sarah- Thank you, you reviews just in time for the update!

CJ Black- Hey! Congratulations on your graduation! Thanks awesome, you should be proud of yourself. Bet that's a load off. And Bless Me? Bless you for reviewing!

lark277- Thank you for your review! Glad you're enjoying it.

hp-princess17588- Great, thanks! And did I read the DaVinci Code? But of course. That's where I got the idea for the pentacle (the sacred feminine rocks…) and for Hermione's ambiagram. It was fascinating. If you haven't already read, please consider reading Dan Brown's earlier work about Langdon in Angels & Demons. Just awesome stuff.

Kit- Thank you, and here's the next part. This is as close as you're gonna get to SS/HG getting together anytime soon. Hermione is isolated! No contact! Please R&R. What would you like to see happen next? I'm dying to know… Chapter 19 halfway written… will post again soon, soon!

racheldiego- Cliffhanger! Haha! Here's the next part. I will return to the Burden of Sight, but that will take some work to immerse myself back in that world. Permanent hiding—good guess, you're dead on. Think about what happened to Ginny and Pansy when they returned to school. They barely made it to Dumbledore's office the first time without shagging the OOD (objects of desire) senseless. Pansy wasn't in danger before the consummation, it was Draco who was in danger (not to mention the wards). But 4 hours to shag is a pretty good timing even by my standards!

Luna Writer- Thank you for your feedback, I'm thinking about taking out the disclaimer (re: religious content) I wonder if that had turned some people off the fic before they even got started. And thanks ofr the observation about Poison Oak… what's a good substitute for the correction? (Do they have Poison Ivy or Sumac in Europe?) I bet a lot of funky things grow in the Forbidden Forest, I suspect the seasons aren't even normal, but I don't want it to seem too far out of reality. Thank you for your insightful reviews!

wackoramaco87- Bon soir Baby! Thank you, I enjoyed writing Chapter 17. The poem was a re-post from an earlier chapter, and yes it is my own work. HP Lexicon can be found on Google. The website is www.hp-lexicon.org An excellent source of Harry Potter facts and minutia. (I addition to all of the great fans who keep offering their expertise!)

franflutewitch- Ah but we love Severus, the sexy dark knight… but he doesn't know where to lead his horse. This story will be lasting and despite popular suggestion, Hermione will not be joining a convent. As for Pansy's blessing now you have your answer. Draco doesn't deserve that! Thank you for your unwavering support of the fic. Your words of encouragement are wonderful.

steph2bwld- Ah, sorry. I know. Cliffies make it more interesting though yes? And by slow down the pace I mean that I can spend more time crafting chapters worth reading, not that there will be fewer and far apart. breathe Not at all.

Now Hermione has an emergency portkey from Luna, just in case she changes her mind or danger finds her. She made here own portkey to get to the alternate cave, and Dumbledore addressed the Ministry tracking with Remus and Severus in this chapter. Boy you keep me on my toes! Does another cave qualify as the boonies? Where are you from anyway that you use the word boonies? Are you a Southern Belle like me? smile

Hope you like the bit about Pansy & Draco working it out (so to speak) and Pansy finally figuring out about Snape. And dear Severus isn't stupid, but it has been so long for him since he's had any real intimacy (I believe a previous chapter touched on purely physical relationships or one night stands. The women may find him irresistible and mysterious but he never lets anyone close enough to really know him). He doesn't think someone like Hermione would want him because a) she's his student b) he doesn't really believe he's worth being loved. Still trying to redeem himself. He think if his life was ruined, at least he can prevent her life from being ruined as well.

And see? Buckwheat did find her though he's too stealthy to betray her whereabouts. I love Buckwheat.

Thank you for the book recommendation foe Writers' Market, I will definitely be checking that out. And as always thanks for your thoughtful reviews and encouragement. It is much appreciated.

Thursdayschild83- Thank you thank you. Ands thanks to WIKTT. I didn't realize that I would become a hardcore HG/SS shipper too. But here I be. And here's the next chappie!

Maxy- WOO HOO! And Buckwheat would never—It's in his code somewhere. Like the Air Force, Marines or something. Here's the new chapter, thank you for reviewing!

KarySky- Cool! Are you still in Quebec City? One of the best times I ever had with my husband was breakfast (coffee and croissant) at the Zenith. So beautiful. I miss it. Please eat some maple ice cream for me! Good luck with your story and I'll read it and return the favor of reviewing! Don't sell yourself short. I had no comprehension what I was in for when I first posted. The support is overwhelming.

Lori- Thank you so much for your glowing review! (Big head here.) Here's the next installment. Let me know what you'd like to see happen next!

Min Hee- Thank you for your review! Hope you like this chapter as much as the last!

Crissy- I hope this chapter answered your questions. That stupid spell really painted her into a corner. HG and SS won't get together, not the next chapter, not chapter after next. It will be at least 5 chapters maybe more. Ugh… you will have to wait and see! wink!

Kylara- Snape and Hermione don't get to talk, they just get to keep saying goodbye. There is little more on the book… well, maybe a little. Why let Ginny suffer? She deserves some happiness and some relief from her nagging yearnings. Hermione = self-sacrifice and does it surprise you at all that the same now holds true for Severus. So if we go back to postulates in Geometry. If HG=self-sacrifice and SS= self-sacrifice then HG=SS! So much in common there… I'm glad you like the bits with Draco. He has a lot going on. Currently doing more research on his character. Trying to find out when his birthday is, if known. Thanks for your review!

theSU1C1Dequeen- Thank you and now you have me wanting to read Heart Over Mind again, thanks! Frustration is good. Strong emotions are a good sign of a compelling story. Hope I can keep it up!

saturngurl123- Thank you, I can't remember when I decided to add the goddesses. They really have their own story. Severus won't find out for awhile. I know the secret of her calligraphy is killing everyone! Buwahahahha!

MA- I feel that any reply I send you cannot compare to the FOOT of parchment you sent me! I love it. No particular reason about Sev telling V about Pansy, he was going to find out and it's not a good idea to lie to him when you're sitting that close. And as for the goddesses, they are cool… but mainly dormant until they are called or sense danger. No inner monologue etc.

And you asked about safety precautions… HA! What safety precautions? Harry and Draco are now safe and Hermione (and Snape, though no one knows it) are both in danger. And I hope this chapter answered some questions about Draco… can't really grovel, he's a good kiss…ass. He will be apologizing and we'll see his relationship with Pansy change a bit.

I'm not sure I understood what you said about the transference of pain with the bonding… there was only the blessing and the women endured all the pain themselves. They didn't share it with anyone. Harry could only empathize. And you are too good with your questions about Dobby, I swear nothing gets past you! And as you see Dobby plays no role in where Hermione goes next, she's going solo. And he does get interrogated by Snape and Dumbledore.

Peace of mind for Remus and Snape is knowing everything is in its place and that means knowing where people are and what their status is. This was something they couldn't fix, although they wanted to. And not to over-generalize, but many men get very frustrated when they deal with strong emotion related to problems they can't fix. All I can say regarding Hermione finding peace is that you'll have to wait and see. Her journey will be an interesting one.. your theories re: the convent were interesting but no. Hermione wouldn't put Muggles in danger by hiding out there.

Love your questions about Pansy and the group. You inspired the paragraph about the SOS members at the table eating alone, being confronted by older members to rejoin and that they wouldn't lose anything by parting. Pansy's going to hang with Gryffindor for a while until she gets the Draco thing under control. She's a bit worried about her reception in Slytherin house. And I think I told someone else too, but no one can put Snape and Hermione together. It makes no sense to people, like a potato and luggage. It doesn't fit. He's the greasy git, she's the Gryffindor know-it-all… no way.

I refuse to talk about Katie. (You will see more of her). I love her character, which she had more of a role in the story, but I can't keep her in constant contact with Hermione because it would make her journey to easy, and we need strife. Ah, we are so eager to get our couple together but it will take more time. Thank you so much for your lengthy reviews! I am honored to read them!

Wytil- Yeah, Albus I'm sure has many ways to detect trouble, but I'm not at all sure about how he knows where students are when they are in danger. He's always been keeping a close eye on Harry. And I've come up with a clever way for him to check up on Hermione in a future chapter… if she's desperate enough (tease, tease hint, hint). Thank you for your feedback and please review below!

Pandora Nervosa- Thank you and I don't really think a chapter is finished until it's at least 8000-10,000 words long! Don't want to cheat you! More to come… Please review!

Athea Grey- Thank you and Hermione is up to safety! And yes, they "got it on". Was that fast enough? Oh no, painkillers… hope you're okay! Tackling is good. Like the suggestion. Right now, Hermione has to settle for wild fantasies.

Tiffie101- She is smoking garden variety tea leaves, and is high on desire. Think about Pansy and Ginny's recation to their Objects of Desire. Hell, Severus wouldn't have a prayer if she went back now. More on reasons why Hermione can't return later… Hermione is stubborn, she wants to save the world, and herself from heartbreak. She doesn't want to kid herself in to believing someone like Severus could love her, he hadn't shown the slightest interest. Thank you for your reviews!

Beky- Aww, unrequited for you? So sorry. Someday your prince (or princess) will come… Thank you for your reviews! And do you like that she's still out in the forest… no one would guess that she'd do it twice!

Nakash Mekashefah- Thanks about the Gaia reference! And here's one more with Hekate. Thanks for your thoughtful review! Enjoy!

alicat99- Thank you, thank you. I howled when I read your review. It is pretty hilarious isn't it? Now Draco and Harry are off the chopping block. Curses! (Voldemort thinks). More soon.

Alarase- Thank you, I'm glad you felt a range of emotions when reading it. This is going to be several more chapters long 5-10? Who knows? I didn't explain it, but for some reason I though Lupin wouldn't be blessed by virgins… The whole dark creature thing is probably incompatible with it anyway but I couldn't figure out how to write it so that would flow. And here is the next update! Again click below and let me know what you think. I live for feedback! Thanks!

Ezmerelda- Yeah, I fear for her too. It ain't easy being alone. It does occur to her that he is in danger, but less without her there. And Draco was forgiven briefly, if only for Pansy to recapture a shred of sanity. He was brushing a piece of grass from morning potion collecting when he had the idea about swabbing the letter. I'd love Katie to correspond with Hermione but a) that's too dangerous b) Hermione needs to be alone c) works well in the story As always thank you for your reviews! I greatly respect your opinions. You've been with me since the beginning!

kat6528- Woo hoo! Thanks for your feedback. And poor Hermione is right. Lots in store for our leading lady. Please review! What do you want to see happen next?

June Williams- Hey there! Thanks for reviewing! Severus didn't know about Draco, and Harry the Dark Lord wouldn't dare go near. Harry stayed behind for the holiday anyway and he was safe at Hogwarts. Lucius would sacrifice Draco only if there was something in it for him. Lucius is probably too vain to sacrifice someone who looks so much like him. Bastard.

Tabii- Severus needs a hell of a lot more physical contact than a hug can provide. Hope this Chapter satisfies your need to resolve the cliffie! As always, thank you for your review! You rock!

Corrie- Thank you, and yes and no. Severus wants to go after her, but where? Dum..dum.da…

Rosmerta- Where's she gonna go? The forest. And no one would put the Gryffindor know-it-all and the Greasy Git together. And shame on you for using your gift of Sight… You sure I shouldn't be calling you Trelawney with your last review? Thank you for you reviews! I look forward to them!

Athena Linborn- Thank you! And happily ever after won't come easily. And what do you mean by hurt? Kill, maim? Crucio… ah the possibilities… And I do update soon!

Shabopo- Thank you for biting the bullet and reviewing! That wasn't so bad was it? Thanks for the complement about the poetry. It doesn't come easily to me at all. Pansy has no clue and neither does anyone else. Hermione has been very tight lipped and few people if any knew about her independent study. The resident bookworm was all school and no play. I will try to work on Daphne, there is a bit in this chapter, but I will probably show her comforting Ron, who plans to sulk and worry and be a prat. Will Daphne stick around for that? BTW Daphne is a real character in the book, though she isn't described and she has no house affiliation. Thank you for thinking this isn't sappy. Shoot me if it gets too sugary… I will try to keep the standards up!

michelline- Voldemort knew more about what Severus said before he said it because Voldemort is a wickedly intelligent wizard and had read that entire text front to back. The sundae will be built slowly and you can enjoy it later… grins evilly No more cherry. D'OH! Sorry about the bad pun… couldn't resist.

White roses for me- Tee hee! I had to do it. And it will be going on for a while. The next chapter is half finished. Thank you for reviewing!