AN: Big, BIIIIG thanks to my lovely reviewers :) I want to hug you all
Choas Babe: Sara's talking about mouthing off in Latin. Possibly with cusswords. And the name of that song is Good Morning Starshine. Look it up. I'm also liking how I got two chapters up. I might try that again ;)
dtdd: I have no clue what you're talking about. Please elucidate.
Readerrr Grrrl: You can get my personal recipe for mutton and clootie dumplings over on my BBS - just go to my website, click on the bulletin board linkie, and browse through "A Proper Board" for a thread about recipes. (I must think up new ways to have cute cooking scenes ;) ) Oh, and guess what? FFN doesn't like the initials NFN any more. Poo on them.
Todd's stomach was a very happy lead weight(1) by now, wo he was eager to help Sara sidle out of the ensuing melee. "Ew... there's like, meat in this..."
Todd rolled his eyes. Better that Kitty didn't know about the suet.
"One day, y' mightn't mind so much," said Sam. "But I'll take your share."
And then they were confronted by Jean. "Just who had to cook when I was on a diet?" she whined. "Just a taste is going to go to my hips."
"So resist," said Sara.
"Essel?" Jean looked down. "Toad?" She sighed, waving her hands in mock surrender. "I don't even want to know what you're doing here."
"Fine," Todd blurted. "Then we won't tell yo'."
Hank was knuckling his way towards their exit, one large bowl held high above the crowd. "Pardon me. Coming through. Hot soup. Watch your step. Ex-cuse me..." He breathed a sigh of relief once free of the crowds. "Are you all right, miss Adrien?"
"I should be more like her and she doesn't even know who I am," Sara marvelled, staring after Jean.
"When it comes to miss Grey and diet-breakers, I'm shocked she could recognise anyone," said Hank. He lead the way down the hall. "Pay it no mind. I've set up a quiet room, in which there are several tests. They range upwards in difficulty, and the percentage of trick questions."
"Oh dear," muttered Sara.
"I have utmost confidence in you, miss Adrien. I've long suspected you conceal hidden depths... and now I have an opportunity to fully plumb them, as it were."
Sara blushed.
Todd squeezed her hand. "Just keep coo', yo. You do fine."
"I wish I shared your confidence, dear," said Sara. She had to be stressed. This was one of the very few times when she didn't correct his grammar.
Sara
wiped her palms on the knees of her borrowed track pants, re-read the
instructions on the board, and opened the first question book.
A train leaves Denver travelling at 30mph...
"K-I-S-S, R-T-F-Q," she muttered, showing all her working and trying
desperately not to over-think the problems. This was the one with the
fewest trick questions, so she had to keep things simple. She sighed,
halfway through the first book, and stared briefly at the camera.
Did it help or hinder to know that both Dr McCoy and Todd were watching her in another room?
Back to work. Question thirty-seven. Oh dear... This was one of those ones that could be over-thought until logic suggested that the problem didn't actually exist.
"K-I-S-S," Sara emphasised. "K-I-S-S..."
"Kiss?" McCoy pondered.
"Keep It Simple, Stoopid," Todd supplied. "'S what it stands fo'." He
watched Sara rub her scalp and walk through the problem at hand. "You
can do it, babe. Keep at it."
"This certainly explains a great deal," murmured McCoy. "She's actually making an effort to restrain herself from thinking... Amazing."
"Huh?"
The big blue guy smirked. "You've never seen the backs of Sara's school
notebooks, have you? I've had that chance, once or twice... Your young
lady is more than a diamond in the rough. Ah! Here we go."
Sara, on the monitor, slipped both question paper and answer book into
a slot at the front of the room, then got the next question sheet.
McCoy opened a little hatch and began examining her answers. "Hm! Just
as I thought. Trying to conform with the classes as taught, but here--"
he indicated a page of working that Sara had crossed out. "Genius
shines through."
"She crossed that out, yo. It don't count... don't it?"
"I've always found miss Adrien's obliterated answers to be far more
educational than the ones she judges to be acceptable." McCoy looked
through the book for more. "Our dear lady does like to hide her light
in a bushel..."
Todd snorted, watching her work through the second book. "Shyeah. I
love her, but she can't take a compliment if yo' gift-wrap it." Was it
him? Or was she working faster?
Nope. She stopped cold.
"Question thirty-seven, I presume." Hank smirked. "The one problem that remains the same in every question book."
"It's a trick question all along? That ain't fair!" His poor sweetie...
"It's the trick question to beat all trick questions," he grinned. "And
the trick is, that it's carefully calibrated. No two people would be
able to answer it the same way. The trick, dear boy, is in how the testee answers."
"She's gonna make you her hobby when she finds out, yo."
"For a brief while, perhaps." Hank shrugged. "But I suspect she'll
thank me in the long run." He retrieved the second answer book and
flipped ahead to question thirty-seven's answer. "Intriguing... She's
answered it a different way."
Todd looked at the two answers to the same question. It was mostly
gibberish to him, but he could pick out the diverging point. He thought
of Sara chaneling her mother and shuddered. "I've seen her - Idunno - be someone else, once... Would this--?"
"No. Sara always answers as Sara. Her -ah- somewhat spooky impressions
have little to do with this..." he tapped the page. "I might have to
make her my hobby..."
Todd decided to steer the conversation away from anything that involved
Sara under a microscope. "Yo, how do you know about th' impressions?"
He grinned. "I was late to meet her, one afternoon, after school. She
was entertaining her -ah- contemporary. That gossippy Wiltshire girl."
Oh. Her. I don't care what Sara says, I'm'a fuck her up one of these days. "Yeah. Met her."
"You sound rather less impressed than I was," Hank sounded mildly
shocked that such a thing was possible. "Sara, however, managed to
solidly 'nail' me. I could not, in all good conscience, contain my
applause."
Todd could just picture that. McCoy, in his pre-blue body, entering
with cheery 'bravo's. Sara's resultant shriek and blush... and possibly
what Janine's blabby mouth would turn it into. Maybe he should sneak a
few dead rats into her locker. See how she liked it.
Sara was working faster... but the things she was doing to her face...
Her tongue slid out of her mouth and her face slackened to such a point
that she looked moronic... except the eyebrows, which drew down in a
frown.
She paused after the latest question to rub her head again, and wound
up peeling skin from her hair until a whole piece dangled over her back.
I am so glad I don't shed that bad, Todd thought. "She's gotta be in pain," he said. "But she don't look like she's feeling it."
"Possibly distracted by the task at hand," McCoy reassured. "You'll
note that she doesn't -ah- groom until she's finished a problem?"
"Yo, if that's all it takes, I'm'a ask her word math problems 'till my throat goes dry."
Last book. Most trick questions. Sara made a point to prove her proofs backwards and forwards.
Question thirty-seven was the same one as for all the others.
Shit!
There was no way to take the others back. No do-overs. She just had to soldier on. Keep going. Do Todd proud.
Love was a powerful thing.
(1) Mutton and clootie dumplings tends to fill one up with surprising haste.
Her scales had gone greyish again, indicating, Todd hoped, that Sara was unwinding from prior stresses and not - he feared - that she was building up some more of them.
Todd offered his hand for her to hold. Sara used it to reel him in for a near-bone-crushing hug and an episode of trembles.
Aw shee-it... "'S gonna be okay, babe. Y'ain't gonna fall."
A breath like a sob. "...thank you. I needed that." Hot tears melded with a delicate kiss to his neck. "I want to beg, whimper, plead and whine my way into a do-over," she whispered. "It's like a compulsion or something. Or conditioning. Resistance is... wracking."
Todd tried to rock with her, but the height difference between them was starting to do some wracking things to his back. "Let's siddown, 'kay? I think yo' gonna be surprised when shaggy, over there, gets done."
Sara kind of flopped into her seat, negating their remaining height-difference by slouching. Her fingers twitched, playing invisible harp strings. "I'm so used to do-overs," she confessed. "One fails, one tries again until success is achieved. I didn't know it was a trick question."
"It hurt like hell when I found out, yo. 'S part of th' test, to see how yo' answer, not what yo' answer."
Sara frowned, lost at the concept. "What sort of a question is that?" she wondered. "If it doesn't have a right answer, why is it there?"
"To examine your methods, of course," said Hank. He'd surfaced from his reading and still bore the pince-nez spectacles(1) on the bridge of his nose. "It's easy to tell that you have never been educated in the field of higher mathematics," Sara focussed intently on her knees at this, "but the way you've come so close to established formulae is remarkable. With just a little aid and attention, I have no doubt that you would be undertaking some university courses by next year, at the latest."
Sara's head came back up. "I beg your pardon?"
"You are a very intelligent young lady," Hank clapped her warmly on the shoulder. "At the very least, I would estimate your IQ to be somewhere above one-eighty... but that is an extremely conservative estimate."
Todd glowered at him. If you break her, I'm'a kill yo', he thought.
Sara's head tic'd 'no' as her scales drained to a dull yellowish hue. "But I'm in Remedial Ed..."
"Genius, my dear Miss Adrien, rarely conforms to standardized testing. Many a bright spark has been discovered languishing with the bottom-feeders... in fact, the many behavioural demerits in your permanent record are quite the red flag."
"I think..." Sara murmured, "...I think I have to talk to Gladys."
"By all means," Hank released them both with an upturned palm. "Go degauss."
Upstairs,
Professor Xavier exited from his office and possibly the most
exasperating telephone call of his life. "That woman," he announced to
the waiting Logan, "is an absolute harridan."
"That bad, eh?" Logan knew that it took a great deal for the Professor to insult anyone.
"Forty-five minutes," he said, rubbing his head. "Forty-five minutes straight...
of haranguing, harassing, and otherwise muck-raking of Miss Adrien's
past sins, real or imagined - and she didn't even pause for breath!"
Logan's eyebrows raised at the thought. "Y'know... I think I saw a Scold's Bridle in one o' the basements..."
Xavier thought very
hard about the idea for five seconds too long. "No. Tempting... but,
no. I fear it would fail to teach her anything." He sighed. "I'm afraid
I'll have to settle for the best therapy I can find for Miss Adrien."
"Kid's gonna need years of it," said Logan.
Todd was certain he only began breathing again when Sara's usual colour returned. In fact, he was almost to the point where he'd rather cut off his arm than interrupt her, but she needed to look after herself.
"Feelin' better?" he asked when she slowed.
"A little. I don't think the shock's entirely hit me, yet..."
"You need t' drink somethin'," An' so do I... His own thirst was threatening to turn his tongue into sandpaper. And, just as he reached for her hand, one of the X-geeks entered.
Scooter. One-eye. Better known as Scott Summers, the boy every girl on the planet seemed to lust after. He carried a tray of bottled water and sport drinks. "Hank said you might be needing these," he said, setting the tray down. He then emptied his pockets of many, brightly-wrappered bars. "And these. Kurt swears by 'em as an emergency stash. And his metabolism's a furnace."
Sara the social chameleon was remarkably guarded and almost - hostile. "My thanks," she said, cool to the point of growing hoarfrost.
Todd sensed raising hackles, and so did Wonderboy, who backed hastily out of the room. "Yo, what up?" Todd wondered. "I thought he was th' golden boy, far as the ladies were concerned."
"I've had the misfortune of catching a Senior's eye, previously. It did not end well." Sara cracked open a scientifically-approved bottle of bluish liquid and gracefully knocked back the entire litre. "Do you recall the movie, Never Been Kissed?"
"Yeah, guess..." He shrugged, having caught the edges of it when Tabby had control of the TV. Pietro, he remembered, had cried like a little girl in some parts. Tabby had laughed at it.
"The scene with the egging?"
Oh crap. I think I know where this is going... Todd, horrified and unable to stop himself, nodded.
"Imagine it re-enacted with dog feces replacing the eggs. And with four Seniors doing the propelling. Nothing was done." She delicately peeled a bar and took a savage bite. "Apparently, it was an annual practice. I was informed that I was lucky I was plain. Prettier freshmen are allegedly raped. En masse."
Todd had just moved into Bayville at the time, finishing up middle school by mail. The incident had been relegated to a half-minute piece in the "In other news" section right before the weather and sign-off. Mystique had been pissed off, naturally, because it happened to and amongst her students; but reprimand and punishment by her was moot, since the Prom happened at the end of the school year. "Goddamnit, I'm startin' to hate our school, yo."
"I had considered filing a lawsuit," Sara finished the bar and began on a bottle of water. "Mother insisted that I'd be lucky to redeem the bill for dry-cleaning. She said there were no possible emotional damages, as she'd warned me from the start. My own fault, for not listening." Sara offered him a spectacularly vivid yellow sports beverage.
Todd drank until his air ran out. "No offense meant, babe," he panted, "but yo' mom is a harpy."
"A dragon, certainly," she agreed. "A gorgon, perhaps... But she never swears." Sara paced, rubbing at her peeling skin. "She never hit me, you know."
Faint praise, indeed. In the unlikely event of my havin' kids, Todd thought, I never want a plus point o' theirs to be 'he never hit me', when they get t' talkin'. "Din't stop her tearin' yo' up wit' her tongue," he said.
"Ah. Jean."
Jean Grey froze when she heard the Professor's voice. She could sense that he wanted something from her - a useless intuition, given the tone of his voice - but his shields wouldn't permit further prying. At times like this, she really missed the Norms. They rarely had any kind of shielding. She turned and put on her best smile. "Yes, Professor?"
"We need to have a talk about your night exercises."
Crud... "It's not as if I need them," she argued. "I'm fine."
He sighed, entering her room and gently closing the door. "Jean... I have very good reasons for insisting you continue with them."
"But I don't need them," she said. "I can sleep fine, now."
"As long as you're alone, or in the same room as someone you're familliar with," he said.
"But they're boring," she whimpered, striking at the heart of the real reason. "They keep me awake more than they actually help me sleep anyhow."
"They wouldn't do that if you kept practicing," Xavier insisted. "And these comfortable circumstances," he waved a hand at her room, "are not going to last forever. You will find yourself in a situation where you wish you had not ignored my counsel, Jean."
"I'm not ignoring, I'm debating," she said. "And I can't think of a single situation that I couldn't teek myself out of, anyhow. The point's moot, Professor."
"If you truly think it is," he said. "I shall have to leave you with the consequences of your inactions."
What. Ever. Jean thought.
Your day shields need work, too, his thoughts entered her mind without so much as a twitch. You're better than bare minimum, Jean.
They'd
come to rest in the window seat, watching the sky turn colours with the
evening. The companionable silence between them was warm.
Todd personally felt that he could spend forever in this one, perfect
moment. It was just right. Sara was calm, happy, and wrapped lovingly
around him. She wasn't twitchy, itchy, or otherwise uncomfortable...
just enjoying the moment with him.
A soft whir heralded Xavier.
"Good afternoon, Professor," said Sara, only turning her head to look. "I do hope you don't mind us being comfortable."
"Not at all." He smiled amiably. "Have you come to any decisions?"
"Your facilities are remarkable," she said. "Some testing methods -
unnerving..." Sara looked over to the harp. Weighing it in the balance,
perhaps. "No doubt, if I attempted to strike out on my own, I'd make
some kind of botch out of it."
Todd gripped her hand and kissed it, holding it against his cheek. His thoughts were a circle. Don't think like that. It hurts both of us. Please don't think like that...
"I'm afraid I'm largely unhinged by - of all things - an IQ test. One
hundred and eighty... My weltenschaung(1) is thoroughly shattered...
not stupid. Just - inopportuned." The colours of her scales shifted.
"I'll need some method of concealment. This..." she examined her hand, "...will not do.
And short of a truckload of expensive makeup material, I... quite fail
to see how else I could blend." Sara sighed. "Remaining here... is a
logical choice."
And how little she considered herself in that choice. Todd tried not to wince.
"I do hope it's a correct choice," said Xavier. "I will do everything I can to help."
"Todd?"
He half-turned in his place. "If nuttin' else, yo' get away from yo' mom fo' a while."
"Yes. Change equals holiday. And I feel in sore need of a vacation."
Todd hugged her arm, feeling a profound sense of loss. He'd see her,
but she'd be leaving his orbit by slow degrees. He knew. X-geeks and
the 'hood didn't mix.
"Will Todd be allowed to visit?" asked Sara. "Or any of my friends?"
Not Janine, thought Todd. Not Janine. Yo' don' need her...
"Of course," he breezed. "Anyone comfortable with coming here, can. We - just prefer advance notice."
"Quite understood," said Sara. "Professor?"
"Yes?"
"What happens now?"
(1) World view.
AN: Today's colour is "AIGH! My eyes!" green.
