The Twenty

by Leyna Rountree

COMPLETE! Hermione and an unlikely Pansy form an elite group of witches, and possess one unusual commonality. Facing their most carnal desires, they will harness a power not seen in an age, to save themselves and protect Hogwarts. Can it stay a secret?

23. All This Time

Disclaimer: Sadly, all characters belong to J.K. Rowling. Think I could convince her to let me borrow Snape and lock him in a room for 14 hours?

Chapter 23: All This Time

She stared right into the face of Victor Krum. Victor her pen pal, her friend. Victor her first kiss. Her first date, escort to the Yule Ball. A summer spent with him and his parents.

"Bullshit! No way! No way!" Hermione furiously shook her head until a bobby pin came loose, freeing a lock of hair. His crooked nose and facial features were unmistakable. It had to be Polyjuice. He would never. It was asinine.

When he spoke to her again, she could not refute it.

"Vy don't you just be nice and come vith us now," Krum said as venomously as he could, his mouth was twisted into a grimace of loathing that implied her cooperation was unnecessary.

"How could you?!" Victor is a Death Eater. The confirmation of his identity was too much to bear.

The other Death Eater guffawed and snorted, entirely entertained by her display.

Deep within her soul, Hermione channeled an rage previously unknown to her and punched him dead in the face.

He fell down hard, in shock from her blow, screaming in his own pain. Her swift right hook was completely unforeseen to both kidnappers. She was wandless and not going anywhere, but as long as she had two God-given arms and two God-given legs, ten fingers, and ten toes she figured she still had weapons at her disposal.

"Bastard," she kicked him hard in his gut. "I can't believe you! You son-of-a-bitch! Stupid! So stupid, Victor. Why? Just tell me that! WHY?!" The other young Death Eater grabbed her after her first kick flew and her legs were still flailing. Hermione screamed out a furious howl of wrath. They had communicated via letters for two years and while she hadn't been writing much since last October, Hermione still considered Victor her friend.

Victor looked up at her from the floor holding his bloody (and probably broken) nose and got to his feet smugly. "Evry-vone has their obligations. I choose ze vinning side. You veren't very fun, pity you didn't agree earlier to my requests…"

"I was fourteen, Victor! What the hell else kind of answer were you expecting anyway?" She was furious and in a moment she looked into his cold eyes and saw the eyes of a traitor.

"Well done, Krum," came the familiar voice of Lucius Malfoy from the hall.

He was looking very… relaxed. Almost jovial. It seemed incongruent with his usual disposition. Hermione couldn't quite put her finger on it. She stopped struggling.

"Bloody hell, but you're a mess. Clean yourself up," Lucius said with near amusement. It seemed out of place. Ordinarily, it would have sounded superior coming from Malfoy, but he wasn't himself.

Victor rid himself of the bleeding with a few charms, but he still needed to mend his nose. It would have to do for now. Breathing was difficult, but there was still a captive to consider.

"Why don't you take her into that room, down the hall." He made a particular emphasis on those last three words, which Hermione was sure he was using to intimidate her and rolled her eyes. Hawkley pushed her forward and Krum grabbed her arm.

Lucius tried his best to wear a more smug expression when going to his Master. He was about to take full credit for her capture of course— he had once put in his time doing what grunts like Krum and Hawkley did, and now reaped the benefits of being in the Inner Circle by exploiting the rookies. He waited behind for a few minutes. It wouldn't serve him too well to appear before the Dark Lord looking this rested and carefree.

Victor yanked her toward the door and down a long corridor. Just when she had decided to return to Hogwarts and face the music, she was brought here. The prospect of her capture and what might happen to her was utterly terrifying, momentarily interrupting the feverish flow of sensual thoughts and painful unchecked desire.

Well on to Plan B. Being captured by Death Eaters had once had been her very dangerous, poorly thought out plan. She thought she must have been very drunk when this crossed her mind, because it was stupid beyond imagining.

She was tempted to use the portkey, but now that she was here, Hermione's Gryffindor instincts would not allow her to abandon the possibility that Kendra was being held somewhere around here. If she could find her, they could leave together. She need to at least be alone to use the portkey, otherwise she would unintentionally take two Death Eaters with her. She saw many doors and wondered if Kendra might be in this hall. The hall was a change from the dungeon. It looked like it was an addition to an old Muggle building which had been acquired by the Death Eaters as a hideout. She could be anywhere in the world though. There were no windows to speak of. Peeling wallpaper and water stains on the ceiling suggested the place should be condemned. Some pipes were exposed from a hole in the wall.

"Where's Kendra?" She yelled at Victor, trying to wrench free.

He jerked her arm back, and it painfully twisted at the shoulder where he had shoved her up against the wall. "You need to be vorrying about yourzelf don't you zink?" The man behind him gave a devilish grin again.

"I need to go to the bathroom," she stalled, crossing her legs. "Please," she put on her best urgent pleading face.

"Hey, Krum. You should take her. I don't want her pissing everywhere, you know?" Victor spun to face him. "After all," he sneered creepily, "We don't need her to be a virgin anymore, right?" Victor smirked and shoved a stunned Hermione into the bathroom.

Slamming the door in her face, he locked her in. It was a drippy, smelling foulness which stank of ammonia and fecal matter, as well as perhaps other biological materials. The most disgusting filth she had seen even rivaling a loo at a gas station. Hermione nearly retched as she spotted a dried pool of blood.

One thing was sure, there was no way she could pee in a waterless brown toilet. There were flies. Ew. Suddenly the grimy cauldron didn't nearly seem this bad. She looked around for any kind of weapon or blunt object. Originally she had no intention of fighting but her odds weren't looking good at the moment.

The thought for a moment, for a brief moment— about getting herself out. She had her portkey, she could go home right now. But where was her Gryffindor spirit? The sense of adventure? Fuck adventure, she was going to die. But Kendra could be here…

Crap. Harry and Ron were usually with her for foolish escapades like this.Actually this was usually the suicidal stuff she tried to talk them out of doing. Ironic. She looked up again at the tiled ceiling and saw a vent.

Tiled ceiling... Vent... Excellent! She said a silent prayer for the architect who built this place. She used the toilet as a stepstool to the sink and hoped it would hold her weight. Reaching up, almost losing her balance as she did so, she removed the metal cover and pulled herself up into the crawlspace. I love jeans… I love jeans… Ooooh— but I hate closed spaces… I hate closed spaces….

She wiggled toward the light suggestive of a nearby opening. It led to a room and she looked down.

Empty.

She crawled ahead a bit further and looked down through horizontal metal slats in the flimsy aluminum vent cover. It was too dark to see well, and the dust in the air duct was getting to her.

"Kendra?" She whispered. "Kendra? Are you in there?"

The weary girl below lay on her cot, convinced she was hearing voices. She had been isolated in the sparse room for close to eight months now, after being found by one of the Death Eaters. She watched them rape and kill her mother. The girl was broken before she even came to this place.

There was shouting behind her and some angry voices could be heard echoing though the tinny metal air duct. "Where did she go? You better come back here right now!" The Death eater novice hissed. They were in big trouble. They had lost their prize catch inside of ten minutes.

"Damn it!" Her heart pounded in her chest, and her elbows were wedged against her sides. She used her fingernails to budge the vent open and fell face first through the ceiling, dropping in the middle of the locked room. "OW!" Even using her arms to protect her from the fall, Hermione was surprised she didn't break anything. She was going to have bruises everywhere.

Kendra could barely believe her eyes. Hermione's were still adjusting to the lack of light. "Who's there?" asked the fearful voice.

"Kendra! Oh thank God, you're here."

"Who is it?" the voice asked.

"It's me, Hermione Granger." Hermione blindly grabbed for her hand and Kendra was startled.

She didn't believe her. It was another trick. "Just do what you came to do and get out," Kendra said weakly, almost bored. She had long since resigned herself to a horrible fate that included daily visits by her captors.

"No really, Kendra. It's me. Pansy and I formed a club…" she began stupidly.

"Pansy?"

"… long story. I have a portkey for you. It'll get you safely to Hogwarts. I promise." She fished in her pocket for the extra locket and pressed it into her palm. "Open it and press the inside. I swear. You don't have to stay any longer. I came to get you. Let's go home." She heard sounds at the door, and began to panic.

Hermione ran to block the door, trying to take Kendra's hand with her but she remained unmoved on the bed. She tugged on Kendra's hand with both of her own. "Come on," Hermione pleaded, leaning backward trying to throw her weight behind her to pull the resistant girl up from her prison.

"Hermione, ve know zat you're in 'zere." Victor's familiar voice echoed through the door, as furious hands scrambled to unlock it.

Hermione gasped when the crack of light appeared. When they tried to open the door, she flung herself against it, struggling to keep it shut. "Hurry, Kendra! Now! Do it now!" Hermione reached forward, straining her fingertips to reach her, but her fingers found only air.

Kendra could see the whites of Hermione's frightened eyes and after hearing her called by name, swallowed and thought about her chances. She thought about home.

When Krum and his fellow thug finally forced their way into the room, Hermione was flung forward on hands and knees. The light from the hallway however made it clear to both Death Eaters that she was the only one there.

Kendra was pretty girl. She used to wear her curly black hair in fluffy round ponytails on the back of her head. But now, it was knotted and bald in places where she had pulled it out of nervousness, or perhaps it had fallen out. Her once creamy cocoa skin was now sickly and pale, her figure now wasted after her long captivity. Kendra squinted as she couldn't quite adjust to the abrupt change of light. When she moved her hand finally, dark circles could be seen on her formerly youthful skin. Her right hand clutched the locket which dangled loosely from her grasp. She was standing in the very center of the Great Hall where the spell had first been cast.

The entire student body collectively gasped as their missing peer appeared before them. It was the middle of dinner and twenty girls immediately stood to support her, Pansy and Melanie racing to her side first.

Dumbledore and the other teachers rose from their seats quickly. "May I have your attention please," the Headmaster's commanding voice came from the Head Table. "I know all of you would like to welcome our friend back, but please be courteous and allow her the time she needs to recuperate." His voice shook slightly. It was difficult when addressing such sensitive matters and there had been far too many in the last several years, beginning with the death of Cedric Diggory.

Kendra was silent in the protective circle of women who stood by supporting her. A knot began to build in the pit of Luna's stomach when she recognized the locket, removing it from Kendra's grasp. The disoriented girl collapsed in the sensory overload, and was quickly levitated to the infirmary by her honor guard.

The entire school watched in horror as their worst fears were proved true. Some cried in relief that they were safe from whatever Kendra suffered, knowing that the group of girls at the Yule Ball had somehow contributed to the safety they now enjoyed.

Harry's and Ron's hearts leapt at the thought that if Kendra was returned, maybe there was hope that Hermione would come back.

Goyle stared at his plate. He had just been taunting Draco about his ditching the Mark— then Kendra showed up, taking the breath from him.

Draco leaned over, and whispered back to him. It was the first complete thought he had spoken to Goyle in months that had nothing to do with his Prefect duties. "You said you couldn't ever imagine that a Death Eater would hurt one of their own, but there is Kendra. Everyone is expendable to the Dark Lord, even you. Kendra was sacrificed by her own father. How are you any different?"

"What do you mean?" Goyle growled.

"Kendra was just marked differently. You're a sacrifice just the same. The Dark Lord will have his use for you and then you'll be discarded." Draco got up and sat by the first years on the far end of the table. He knew Goyle was pushed into service just like he was. Goyle was terrified to take the Mark, but he had done so anyway. Goyle was nervous, which is why he insisted on talking about it all the time. Draco felt sad. This was the conversation they should have had before he took the Mark. These were words he said too late. At least Pansy had said her peace. Would Goyle have ever made a different decision if he had someone like Pansy to talk him out of it? Draco looked at the wide fearful expressions of the eleven and twelve year-olds around him. He hoped Voldemort's reign would long be over before these young Slytherins were forced to make these choices.

Goyle sat surrounded in the worried murmuring of his Slytherin peers, feeling more alone than ever. It was horrible enough to see what happened to the Muggles the Death Eaters captured for torture, but Voldemort's own followers sometimes received much worse. Especially traitors. He dared not attempt to change his mind now, 'What's done is done,' he told himself. His father was always watching him anyway, gauging his reactions, making sure he enjoyed it. Goyle's tolerance for violence was building, and even though often he did not participate too much in the torture of others yet, he knew standing by was the same as condoning it. Draco was still a smug bastard and lucky. He had skipped out, and still threw it in his face. Goyle had hoped he'd have someone to confide in by now. Someone on the same rung as he was in the hierarchical ladder of the Death Eaters. Now Goyle had no one.

Luna approached the Headmaster in the hallway, Snape following closely behind.

"Professor?" Both men stopped to address the young fifth-year student.

"Yes, Luna?" Dumbledore's attention seemed divided between Luna and the floating form of Kendra.

"Kendra was holding this." She held up the rectangular locket before him.

Snape took it and flipped it over in his palm, reading the inscription of the school name on the back.

"I thought I should tell you that after the Ball, I charmed it for Hermione to keep in emergency so that she could return to Hogwarts if she had need. She must have given it to her personally, sir." Luna's voice was shaky. In essence, she was saying that Hermione had not only rescued Kendra but also lost her only way home.

Snape dashed off toward the infirmary to inquire about his student. They needed to talk with Kendra right away. She might know where Hermione was.

Kendra's eyes popped open once her back touched the surface of the bed in the infirmary. She shot up and crossed the room to cower in a corner. Her eyes darted around nervously, losing her bearings for a moment. The last place she wanted to be was on a cot. The young girl trembled, overwhelmed with all of the silent support that the girls standing before her had offered. Melanie came into her view along with Pansy, her longtime friend, but Kendra stared ahead vacantly, as if she had seen no one.

They squatted to meet her at eye level and said nothing as the disoriented girl took in her new surroundings. Stone walls, a stone floor charmed to be warm under her bare feet. She touched it with her fingertips. Hogwarts was real, she was real. Moving pictures she was familiar with adorned the walls—paintings of former mediwitches and scenes of nursing hung over each of the beds. Everything was white, with a few beds holding blue blankets folded neatly at the foot. She smelled the air and it had fresh quality, with a hint of antiseptic. Not at all like her previous eight month stay in hell. It was a dim room, made brighter by torches on the wall which lit spontaneously upon entering.

The last time she had been here… the last time, she thought. All of the beds were filled with members of the Slytherin Quidditch team after a horrible collision turning a training exercise. It seemed so long ago. That memory felt longer than a year ago.

"You're safe now," Pansy said. "We won't let anything happen to you." Pansy reached her hand out a little toward Kendra, triggering Kendra's last memory of her confinement.

The voices seemed distant, but recognizing Pansy's voice, she registered her safety. She reached out and grabbed Pansy's' hand, gripping it hard, like she would disappear.

Snape watched the scene before him unfold. While the matter of Hermione's location was urgent, it would have been tactless for him to barge forward and interrogate the girl. It was disturbing enough to retrieve Melanie's tortured form from the front steps. He had no idea what Kendra must have been through, having been gone so long.

"She said you would be here…" Kendra whispered through cracked lips.

Snape walked forward with Dumbledore and with a wave of the Headmaster's hand dismissed many of the girls to the outside hall. Getting on his knees and folding his hands inward on his thighs, Snape assumed a reserved position by Pansy and Melanie. A nervous Poppy was close behind, trying her best not to make her usual vocal protests about care, privacy, and no visitors.

Kendra appeared not to notice, looking intently on Pansy's hand. It was covered in Latin, but she seemed unaware of it.

"She was reaching out for me…" Kendra said in an empty voice. If only she had grabbed Hermione's hand.

"Who was reaching out to you?" Melanie asked, but knowing the answer. She wanted to hear it, but also wanted Kendra to talk.

"Hermione. She… she blocked the door. She said she came to get me. She said we could go home." Tears started to roll down her cheeks as the word home rung in her veins. Home meant Hogwarts. She had no home anymore. No mother. She had no father she wanted to call father anymore.

She said 'we' could go home. Hermione had planned on returning. Snape leaned forward, and if it was possible, Kendra recoiled, shrinking back even more against the wall in fear. It wounded him to see that look, one he had seen too often as a Death Eater. Snape scooted backward, and removed his cloak, hoping to look less imposing.

"You are safe here," Dumbledore said in his most soothing tones. "We will not let any harm come to you."

"Help me to help her, Kendra. Can you describe where they were holding you?" Snape asked softly.

Pansy squeezed her hand for support. A silent signal of encouragement to talk. Kendra flinched and spoke, "There was just four walls and a cot, so dark. Four walls and a cot. Four walls and a cot. No pictures. Peeling wallpaper. It smelled horrible." Kendra shut her eyes to block out the memory, but it only made it more vivid. She opened her eyes again to look at Pansy's hand.

Pansy tried hard not to react to the sight of the drained, mistreated woman before her—Pansy's contained her emotion tightly beneath her skin. Melanie had survived and she was gone for such a short time. Kendra, what did they do to you?

Snape sighed inwardly. That explained a lot of places. "Did they take you anywhere else?"

"There is a w-wh-white room." Kendra started sobbing and Pansy pulled her close into a comforting hug.

Pansy dreaded further questioning from Snape, hoping Kendra's description was sufficient. Kendra had been through enough. Looking up, she saw Snape was already out the infirmary door. Go get her. Bring her back. Don't you dare let them do this to Hermione.

Orla reentered and sat to the side of Melanie and Pansy. "I'll stay with her. She shouldn't be alone," she said quietly, remembering her own lonely convalescence.

Seeing the sisterhood between the girls, Poppy allowed it. Friendship in some ways was its own medicine. She would work around it.

Hermione turned around quickly, not wanting to expose her backside to the two predators behind her. She took a look around the room, finally illuminated from the hallway. It was horribly empty. Isolated. This was Kendra's existence, and she found a deep hatred within herself for the people who had inflicted this on the young woman. She was probably only one of many who had suffered here.

"Where did she go?" asked a panicked Hawkley.

Hermione had a plastered look of satisfaction knowing Kendra had successfully activated her portkey. Somewhere Kendra was safe, in the arms of her friends and away from this hellhole. Mission accomplished.

"Ve said, 'vere did she go?" Krum looked really panicked now, and had reason to be concerned.

"She's gone. Safe. No thanks to you." Hermione spat at him and they yanked her out of the room.

Once again, Hermione found her back against the wall with Krum uncomfortably pressing against her. He was breathing on her, his muscular body almost shielding her physically from the other man.

"Come on Krum, let me gave a go," Hawkley snapped.

Shit! She felt hot breath on her neck, Hermione panicked as she racked her brain for the defensive spell. Her heart raced. Why couldn't she remember the incantation? Simple Latin! Repel desire. Come on! Her mind went blank.

It was strange that the next voice— the one she most loathed to hear— saved her from perhaps a worse fate.

"Krum. Hawkley." Lucius Malfoy waltzed up the hallway to find the empty room that once held their captive. Lucius checked the room and pointed his wand toward the two stupid junior Death Eaters. "You may very well be a champion Quidditch player, Mr. Krum, but you have a great deal to learn about service to the Dark Lord. Crucio Crucio." Both men slumped to the floor in pain while Lucius clutched Hermione's wrist forcefully. "Come with me, Mudblood."

Krum and Hawkley regained their senses and joined Lucius and Hermione back in the larger white room. "Tell me, how exactly did Kendra go missing?"

"She used a port…" Hawkley began shakily.

"You stupid boy! I know that. How did she manage to get a portkey, you fool?!"

"I vas mistaken in permitting her to go to 'ze bathroom alone. She took 'ze air passage to her room and freed 'ze girl."

Leave it to Krum to take full responsibility, being the more senior of the two. He still had a lot to learn about proper deflection of blame. "Get out. Go! You are of no further use at the moment. I truthfully doubt you wish the Dark Lord to find out about this transgression."

"But what about…" Krum tried to interject, gesturing toward Hermione. It was stupid he knew, but was worried about leaving her with someone as notorious as Malfoy. Hell, Malfoy was largely responsible for a lot of the mistreatment that Kendra had suffered.

Then it dawned on her. In his hesitation to leave, Victor's quick concerned glance was her clue. Bloody hell. She did know him. He's probably an Order member and everything. Stupid, Victor. If I had my wand, I would hex you to back to Bulgaria.

Malfoy gave them both one swift, threatening look. As beautiful a face as Lucius had, he was equally sick to look at when angered. A look was all it took— the promise of Cruciatus in a glance. If they stayed any longer, he would cast again.

Krum and Hawkley paled and disappeared down the hall immediately, not needing to be told again. It was hard for Victor not to look back.

Hermione was savoring this as much as she could. Lucius was about to wipe that silly smile off her face.

She was trying to bolster additional nerve, so she decided to bite off a bit. "Sorry that one of them wasn't your own son?"

Lucius spun on her quickly, a coiled snake ready to strike. "What are you on about?"

"Guess it looks like Draco won't be following in Daddy's footsteps. He must have really embarrassed you… not taking the Mark..."

"Shut up, stupid bitch!"

"…how disappointing. He never looked better," she said with a smug smile on her face.

Malfoy grabbed her and shoved her hard up against the wall, breathing heavily on her. "How would you know, filthy Mudblood?"

Her bobby pins poked painfully into her scalp when her head hit the wall, but she continued. "I was there. I was one of the bartenders at The Shot," she said cheekily. "Ring a bell? Wouldn't your dear Master love to know just how close you were to me. And you didn't even realize it." She was guessing. But she was right.

"Shut your filthy mouth, you stupid wench!" His forearm was pressing up against her neck, beginning to choke her.

But she didn't stop, even through the choke hold she rasped, "Is that the best you can do? Come on Lucius, what are you waiting for? Here's your golden opportunity. I know you hate me."

Standing in the shadows, Severus could hardly believe his eyes as he looked at her in the flesh. She was here, alive, looking pretty disheveled but resolute. How dare she tempt Lucius like that? She was going to bloody well get herself murdered to death.

When Snape entered the room, Hermione tried not to look. She couldn't help it, her face one of surprise. She hadn't seen Severus since before Christmas. Don't cry. Reflexively, she looked down and licked her lips, chewing the inside of her cheek. Don't break.

Lucius looked at Hermione's face and turned to see his associate. "Severus what brings you here?" Lucius released her temporarily, leaving Hermione to cough, gasp and rub at her sore neck.

"Well, imagine my astonishment in seeing Kendra return to the safety of Hogwarts. She described where she was being held and I got away as quickly as I could. As I had expected, how is our beloved Miss Granger doing?" Each word from his lips dripped with sarcasm and a deep, painful expression of detachment that only Snape could produce.

Hermione had her confirmation. Kendra was safe. And people knew where she was. Up to now, fear was keeping desire at bay. Adrenaline won out over hormones. With Severus here though, it would be constant battle. When Hermione was afraid, she couldn't think straight, and when she had her wits about her all she could think of was Severus.

Having Severus here made what she had to do so much harder. His voice was torture, in hateful tones or not. Don't speak, don't speak. Her skin crawled with fiery temptation and her stomach clenched in fear of ruining everything. If he died… it would be all her fault. Oh God, please help me…

"My my, one of your own teachers. You do look surprised."

"Not really," she managed as dryly as she could, looking away.

Malfoy looked interested, regarding Snape. "Not really, eh? So you suspected him?" Malfoy mused. "How interesting. Why pray tell would you imagine him to be a Death Eater?"

"Well, he is the Head of Slytherin. And he did assign that Bellflower Assignment. After Pansy told me about her Dad, and with Kendra and Melanie missing, I did the math."

"Smart girl. So tell me," Lucius came closer to her. "Have you remained chaste all this while?"

"Go to hell." Hermione met his gaze and showed as little emotion as possible. She didn't want to give him the satisfaction.

Snape could've blown Lucius to pieces right then. He could see this coming a mile away. It was like a script. Snape was surprised that they hadn't already taken her, but so far only Lucius was here. He was toying with her, one of the cruelest Death Eaters at the revels. He set the pace for everyone else, not needing drugs or alcohol to fuel his sadistic nature at all. Lucius made the pain last, and preferred to humiliate women, especially strong women like Hermione. Snape wasn't sure how he was going to get her out, distract Lucius. Something.

"Foolish girl…" Lucius was furious. How dare she talk back? He preferred an obedient captive. But fighting back? That could also hold promise.

"I'm not a girl," she corrected. "I'm a woman." She said this with conviction, feeling more powerful with each statement.

"Maybe only in a manner of speaking, but I am only too… happy… to… oblige…" and he snaked his long index finger down her throat in a venomous sensuality of movement.

She remembered, whispering the incantation. "Referite Desiderio." Lucius found him shoved forcefully to the other side of the room. Hermione crossed her arms in front of her and looked down on the fallen man with a triumphant pride. Her Latin was coming back, so she elaborated. "Nunquam sine meo concessu," she hissed. Bastard.

Snape had whipped out his wand and realized she had none.

"Mudblood whore, what did you do?" Lucius was climbing to his feet and attempting to put his well groomed mask of arrogance back into place. It didn't suit him.

"Sorry, you see… I'm endowed with— how shall I put it? Protective measures since last term? The 'Power of Innocence' and all that." Hermione was baiting him, taunting an already spitting cobra, kicking an angry dog.

"I would never want you! Stupid, filthy Mudblood! You think you can survive here? You will talk. We will make sure of it."

"I'll never tell you anything!" she growled.

"We shall see," he said coldly, looking innocently at his manicure. "Crucio!"

Hermione crumpled on the ground, in the most horrible shooting pains, piercing all of her flesh, down to her cerebellum, head throbbing in pain. Hot tears streamed from her eyes, but she did not cry out. The pain was too terrible for her body to yet comprehend.

Snape looked on in horror, with the façade of his customary indifferent expression in place, as he watched her curl up in the tight ball he was familiar with from his own unfortunate experiences. 'How much could she endure? Why would she not speak?' It seemed such a simple thing. 'Why hadn't she completed the spell?'

Lucius seemed a bit unnerved at her lack of responsiveness. She laughed. Hermione Granger actually laughed under her mangled tresses, loosened from where she had pulled her hair back. She laughed harder and coughed, though it hurt to do so. "You'll never know. This pain doesn't even compare," she whispered hoarsely. "…with the alternative."

"CRUCIO!" He bellowed.

Hermione cried out but couldn't hear her own cry, she felt her eardrums explode with pain. She was shaking now, sobbing on the floor. You love him… don't let them win.

It hurt to breathe. After several minutes passed, she looked up to yell at her wretched attacker. "Go ahead, kill me you fucking son-of-a-bitch! DO IT!" She screamed franticly. Gaia was stirring within her while Snape's goddess remained inexplicably calm.

Lucius' jaw pulsed with anger as he considered her suggestion. He raised his wand, "Avada…"

"Stupefy!" Voldemort knocked Malfoy across the room, and then fired a green shock of light, scorching a hole in the peeling wallpaper, very near his skull. A dark spell for sure, and he missed on purpose as a warning.

Malfoy shook his head, recovering from the force of his fall.

"Stupid fool! We need his name. She is the strongest, I can feel it…" he hissed. Hermione dare not look up into the serpentine eyes of the Dark Lord. He was frightening enough to look at, but more frightening still to fell the raw hatred seep through his pores, filling all free space in the atmosphere around him with a sense of doom. No wonder Snape forbid anyone to speak the name of the Dark Lord.

Hermione laughed under her breath.

"Shut up girl, or I will kill you myself!" Voldemort said approaching her.

"Go ahead! If you do, you will imbue my love with a protection so strong that Harry Potter himself would envy it!" She looked up at him, her jaw clenched and her hands firmly on the ground, pushing herself to her feet. Do it! Kill me and it will end. Kill me and he'll be safe.

Snape was wide-eyed. He couldn't hide his astonishment, nor the fear welling up inside his belly like a tide. She meant to do it. She wanted to die.

The Dark Lord seethed in frustration. How dare that impertinent girl speak the name of Potter! The reptilian like man approached her angrily and lifted her face to his own. Snape cringed and waited to hear the words. If he did anything now, they both would die.

"You can't hide from me foolish girl! Legilimens…" Voldemort hissed a whisper and looked into her eyes. Immediately he released her as if her had touched a hot stove. A Goddess! He was furious and struck her across the face with a backhand, knocking her to the floor. He could get nothing. How was he not told about the blessing? Perhaps no one saw it. He would get to the bottom of that. The guardian would protect her until she was needed. After that… the girl would beg for mercy.

She saw stars, every nerve ending was on fire from the curses. Her skin was crawling and her insides constricted painfully. She tried to push herself up on her palms, but her elbows kept giving out.

"Severus… we need you to interrogate her. You skills of persuasion… are exactly what we need. You will get the information we require. I believe she will be more responsive with your techniques than with Malfoy's." He glared at his impulsive servant, who had displeased him once too often of late.

"Yes, my Lord." Snape groaned inwardly.

Voldemort left as he often did, leaving matters like this to his servants, though he would undoubtedly return to check on his progress. It was an improvement, but there was still Lucius' presence to consider.

Snape didn't want to have to torture one of his own students. Not her. She was stubborn. After two bouts of 'Crucio' and the determination he'd seen her possess, he was quite certain she would try to make good on her promise not to talk. Oh she would talk eventually, but he would have to plot carefully to make sure that only he could discern her object of desire, protecting him before the other Death Eaters found out. This was what Snape was afraid of. He was under pressure to maintain his role as spy, but he'd be damned if he wasn't considering abandoning it all to save her from this. If only Lucius would leave…but he was hovering.

Hermione was mortified. He was standing in front of her, and anything she said or did could betray him in an instant. She wasn't nearly feeling as sure as she once did about her chances.

Malfoy stood with his hand clenched around his wand sheath as if to strangle it like her pretty neck. He was robbed— he beat Snape here, infuriated that he was being deprived of the opportunity to interrogate the girl. He felt this was owed him.

Snape lifted her crumpled form into the next room, a room with pristine white walls and a tiny window for light. His contact with her was added injury in itself and she cried out when he touched her. Her frame was limp, then rigid as her muscles involuntarily twitched from the Cruciatus.

This room was designed for intimidation and brainwashing. Nearly anyone who entered here would lose their minds after two long days of sadistic cruelty and manipulation. She slumped from the chair to the floor, finding more comfort in the relative stability of the swirling ground than attempt to sit upright in a chair with no arms to support her weight.

Hermione was grateful for the sharp throbbing in her temple— it superseded the desire coursing within her. She could feel it lurking powerfully though, waiting for the pain of Cruciatus to wane. Fear worked also in the hall with Krum and Hawkley. But she could not be afraid of Severus.

'P-professor Snape…"

"Don't call me that!" Snape hated to hear his title when he was in this role. So rarely did he come face to face with a student in a circumstance such as this. He couldn't stand for it, especially from her.

"Severus…," she whispered, "Don't do this." Snape came nearer to hear her half-spoken words. "You will regret it," her syllables came in staccato breaths.

Hearing her say his first name on mere breath, a longtime wish, was almost as bad. "I already do, Miss Granger." Why Hermione, why? "What did you do to Lucius?" He asked unfeelingly.

"Hmmph. He will find it extremely difficult to harm me now, with indecent thoughts filling his mind. As long as he has any desire to harm me sexually or force himself on me, he will be very violently expelled from my personal space. The same goes for anyone else." God, please don't come near me… don't touch me...

"I only care to know about one someone…" He looked at her and hooked a finger under her chin. He was too curious to see what had so upset the Dark Lord.

"Don't… please…" Please don't look at me.

"Legilimens," came his distressed whisper. The tendrils of his mind reached out and painfully hit the wall. When he looked behind her eyes, he saw Gaia, standing as a barrier in front of her memories. So that what blocked Voldemort's intrusion. He released her swiftly, he felt the connection of their blessing as strong as ever and his own Goddess appeared quite confused at his complex role in this situation. 'You must protect her,' she instructed.

"Come now," he asked in his sweetest silky tones, "You can tell me. Who is he?"

Hermione looked in his eyes deeply and shook her head. She avoided any long spells of eye contact. Legilimens or not she felt he could see right through her. His fingers left her chin and she immediately longed for the contact again. To touch him, run into his arms. Her head dropped as if it were heavy, her lids drooping. You are in danger, don't fantasize.

A nosy Lucius was looking in from the door. "Needing a bit of help, my friend?" And he wheeled a tray of crude metal instruments on what appeared to be a squeaky medical cart in the door. They appeared sterile, with a pale blue cloth draping them in formal fashion. A small clear glass of water was on the cart as well.

Hermione looked up. Another intimidation tactic. Show the detainee what is possible. He wouldn't use them. He wouldn't. There were more powerful ways to extract information, magically speaking. Magical ways were also far more painful than Muggle implements could ever produce.

Snape fished a dropper bottle from his pocket and released three clear drops to dissolve into the glass of water. Her eyes widened as she realized what was next. Oh no…

"Miss Granger, you will drink this or I will make you."

She had no doubt Snape would do just that. This wasn't Professor Snape, concerned but evil Potions teacher, this was Snape, Death Eater, with the capital DE. He would be expected to perform, and Hermione knew she didn't want to put him at risk by hoping he would aid her in some suicidal attempt at heroism.

Snape wrestled with his duties. Leave now and take her with you. No more spying. He stared at the woman who had occupied so many of his dreams, and wondered why on earth she hadn't used the portkey with Kendra.

She took the offered glass of clear liquid. Veritaserum. 'Tell the truth. The truth will set you free,' she said over and over again in her head. She almost choked on it— it tasted awfully sweet, almost syrupy…sugary. Veritaserum was odorless and tasteless— she wondered what other elements had been introduced in the cocktail.

Her thoughts began to race with ideas of how to get out. How to protect him. Maybe I can tell him here, in plain view of Malfoy. Something only he would understand. No, better not to risk it. Severus' reaction would be too unpredictable. She didn't want to run the risk of outing him as a spy, or making him feel obligated to get her out of a dangerous situation she had gotten herself into. She was desperate— but more so to keep him safe, than to save her own neck.

She hoped if she could make honest statements, she could answer the questions he asked truthfully enough without going into too much detail. That was the theory anyway. Hopefully he wouldn't be too direct. ' If only she could just get a wand. Wait. Lucius.'

Lucius was a repulsive, sick man. She had overheard several Death Eaters earlier ask if Lucius would 'spoil' her. Although he had refused the suggestion, he did mention he wouldn't mind having an 'appetizer.' It was revolting. She knew she still possessed some of the hormones from the previous spell. She could feel them anyway, she didn't know if they still held any sway over the men around her. Ever since all of the women took their vow of chastity, it appeared almost no boy (or man) could resist them. The mores and values of the Professors delineated obvious codes of conduct, making it possible for them to keep themselves in check. It was a subtle thing, much more difficult for Ginny and Lisa with their boyfriends. In fact Ginny and Pansy went out of their way to avoid Harry and Draco as they neared the Yule Ball. They had been finding it more difficult to decline their advances. No doubt they had already consummated their relationships since the spellcasting. But Lucius Malfoy—he had no morals to violate. Nothing seemed beneath him. He seemed an easy target.

She raised her hand to her collar and fanned herself with her shirt, trying to get air to her chest while giving Lucius a nice view at the same time. 'That's right, come over here... Please let this work.'

"What is your full name?" Severus asked the baseline questions. Don't look at… Merlin help me. Her cleavage was very visible from here, the edge of her lacy bra against her plump breast visible beneath the fluttering opening in her blouse

"Hermione Jane Granger."

"And what can you tell me about the object of your affection?" He asked with a clinical distance, looking down at his blank parchment. He had nothing to write yet that he didn't already know.

It startled her, but the answer flowed easily. "He's a brave man, so different from others. He would refuse me. But he won't, he can't let me near… he would never want me." Shut up! Don't say too much, Hermione. Her ears were ringing and she tried to keep her watery eyes focused on Lucius. Everything was about to tumble out of her lips. She felt in physical pain as she fought the Veritaserum, skirting the questions without completely answering them, struggling to stay in some kind of control, trying to keep him alive. Tell the truth.

"Is he a student?" He expected to draw this out as long as he could. If only Lucius would leave.

Oh God, please not twenty questions, Severus. "N-no, sir." Look at Malfoy. Focus on Malfoy. She licked her lips seductively.

That left only one person he could think of. Who could she love but he could not return her affection? Who would refuse her? He'd seen their interactions… how she healed him at the headquarters. How her hands lingered on his bare back. Why didn't he notice it before?

Remus.

Hermione knew how she could give Severus his safety— she could be murdered defending him. Now that Severus was interrogating her, it seems that wouldn't be possible. She couldn't say anything now. He'd be killed immediately. Hermione was afraid, but hoped that her apparent fear would be an aphrodisiac of sorts for Lucius who she struggled to maintain eye contact with.

The overconfident man couldn't help himself and walked toward her. Her hands were in her lap and if she could just reach… Oh God… Sweat broke out across her forehead and upper lip. She could feel the perspiration travel in a cold trickle down her spine.

"Miss Granger, aren't you feeling a bit more… agreeable?" He trailed a sickening finger again down her neck.

"Lucius, you are interrupting the interrogation." Snape said harshly.

Her eyes watered as she refused the revolting affections of Lucius in her mind. Once again he was forced backward, but it was more of a hopeless shove than when he cleared fifteen feet before.

She retched a bit and spit on the floor. Her hands pounded against the sterile floor and trembled in fear, the significance of what was in the glass hit her. "What did you give me you bastard!!!" She was screaming at Lucius, who was laughing, but Snape thought at first Hermione's comment was directed toward himself.

"Damn you!" She cried. She suddenly wanted to touch everything. She moaned a whimper of yearning. "What did you add?" her voice a harsh raspy whisper. The after effects of the Cruciatus were deeply felt as her abdomen contracted in both pain and pleasure. She was in excruciating agony. Her nails were beginning to claw at the ground. On all fours now in a plea for mercy, she looked up at Severus whose dark eyes could not waver from the gaze of the distraught, anguished young woman.

He looked at Lucius with a question— Snape knew he had only given Veritaserum, but had dissolved it in a glass of water provided by the untrustworthy man to his left.

"Leftover from the revels my dear. Lust potion…" he said silkily. "Isn't your body crying out for contact now?" Refuse me now, Mudblood bitch.

Lucius had gone way too far and Severus was about to cast an Unforgivable. He could forgive himself for that. With all of her previous desires filling her, this must be the worst torture. And still he could do nothing but watch as Lucius advanced on her once more.

"Damn it, Lucius! Now she won't be able to talk at all!" he growled, and considered quickly about how close the nearest antidote would be and how much time it would take to retrieve it. They of course, kept a supply on hand but he didn't wish to leave her alone. Avery and Lestrange had a habit of being rather heavy handed with it, overdosing many an uncontrollable girl. Of course, in Hermione's case, any amount was enough to nudge her off the cliff of restraint.

Hermione let out a blood curdling scream, trying to dispense the raw energy contained within her. She was losing control, unraveling and she knew it. The closest person to her was the man of her dreams in a den of hell. Help me.

Severus felt a tugging within him as her eyes begged him… asking for something both mercy and pleasure. Suddenly, as Hermione's tormented heart wrestled with the duality of her feelings, both wanting to satisfy her hunger and protect him, there was a flash of white light erupting from her.

Between her and the two men, stood a tall ethereal beauty Gaia.

"You will not harm her!" She bellowed, her voice reverberated off of the walls. Gaia looked straight through Severus' eyes that contained her other twin. He felt the connection. He had almost forgotten about his own ability to call forth the ancient leader within him. But Hermione hadn't called her name either. Gaia had obviously felt that it was time. Remus had said the goddesses could act of their own accord, and Hermione appeared quite beyond asking for help at this point.

Severus and Lucius were terrified beyond words. They stood unmoving and nearly knelt with the force of her command. She was a Goddess. Gaia stood before them, all-powerful and frightening to a degree Voldemort could never hope to aspire.

"Now Hermione, reach for the wand…" Gaia instructed.

Severus in his moment of dumbfounded shock had dropped his wand to the floor. Hermione was lightening fast, desperate for an out…any out, and grabbed it before Snape could retrieve it.

Gaia was a tangible wall of light, and as Snape stupidly attempted to reach for his wand her aura burned his hand severely. He quickly withdrew it in pain. At least Lucius could still be fooled into thinking he hadn't wanted to help her.

She felt strangely odd, bound in some way to the core, very much like she had in Ollivander's the first day with her first wand. A few sparks flew out from the tip of it. Her own wand was long gone, but his felt familiar somehow. She didn't dare apparate, she's splinch herself and decided to risk a portkey. What were the odds that she could use his wand as well as her own? Go figure.

She removed her shoe and pointed his wand at it. "Portus!" Dropping the wand, she picked it up the portkey and was sucked into safety.

She was heaving, still on her knees in the middle of the vacant Great Hall where this had all started. It was barely daybreak and Remus was just entering for an early start on his day. Dumbledore wasn't far behind him, seeing Hermione's image reappear in the mirror moments ago.

"Hermione!" Remus rushed to her side.

"Get away from me!" She screamed and cried a heavy sob. Still on her hands and knees, she was feeling very impulsive— desperate and sexual. Remus heard it in her voice and picked up the scent of arousal on the air as he drew near. This girl was in serious trouble. She got up and lunged for him, but the wolf was quick and secured her arms in front of her in restraint. She wriggled and writhed against him, screaming wildly. He did not let go.

"What on earth?" Minerva exclaimed from the doorway. "Remus, let her go!"

"No, Minerva. It's alright," said Dumbledore in an unconvincing tone.

"What did they give you?" Remus murmured to her, trying to calm the wild Gryffindor. His tones only served to arouse her further and she cried in humiliation.

She managed to eke out the words, "Lust potion… need antidote. Please…" She was sobbing between her efforts in trying to gain as much body contact and stimulation from her close proximity to Remus as she could. It was a horrible feeling. She didn't want to do this, and yet she did.

"Remus, bring her to my office please." Thank Merlin it's early, Dumbledore thought. At 5:30am, everyone was still in bed. At least he wouldn't have to explain the mysterious return of Hermione Granger before he had answers.

It was awkward for Remus to walk toward Dumbledore's office while holding the violent girl. And if Remus had any trouble with it, Hermione couldn't tell. He seemed to be doing fine despite her thrashing.

Remus took the stone steps one at a time, almost losing his balance when Hermione kicked at the wall. It wasn't on purpose; she was entirely out of sorts. It motivated him to run up the rest of the way just to ensure that they didn't both take a nasty spill.

She used his wand. Snape was speechless. At least she left it behind. He had been racking his brain on how to rescue her without getting either of them killed, or blowing his cover. In the end, she had done it alone. Hermione Granger didn't need his help. She got herself in, and she got herself out. He snapped to his senses— Lucius was still pretty shocked as well from the display. Until now, none of the Death Eaters were aware of the blessings and Goddesses. He couldn't obliviate Lucius, the missing information would be noticed by Voldemort.

"Look what you did! What the hell was that? Lust potion?! You are absolutely mad," Snape snarled.

"What I did? She would've told us anything after the potion I gave her," Lucius said in righteous anger.

"She was already telling me what I wanted to know under Veritaserum!" Snape shot back. He used the hem of his robe to pick up his wand and, for Lucius' benefit, made a show of wiping her filth from it while showing an expression of disgust.

"How did she use your…"

Snape spun to capture Lucius' eyes with a threatening gaze. "I don't know how a Mudblood like her was capable of wielding any wand, but if you ever speak of this to anyone under any circumstances you will find lethal poison in your morning tea." Snape's words were a deadly calm that Lucius had to take seriously.

Death Eaters did not make idle death threats to their own. Never, actually. Always to others, or to their families, but not to their brothers. It was shameful that the Granger girl had even touched his wand at all. But using it? It was miracle she was not grievously injured. Lucius knew his own wand would hurt anyone who touched it, the snake on his silver wand sheath charmed to bite anyone who attempted to wield it.

"Of course, Severus." Lucius was already considering how to use this information as blackmail if he dared.

Snape straightened himself and began to exit the room. Best to let Lucius explain what happened to the Dark Lord and let Lucius suffer the fallout. He had to make sure Hermione was alright. "Now, I have to return to Hogwarts and see if she is actually there. You better hope she's not, otherwise we'll never get her out and the spell will be completed. Merlin, knows where the portkey led." Please let her be there.

Snape cursed under his breath as he left. There was no way Lucius would be able to avoid telling Voldemort what happened without lying. He was not stupid enough to lie to Voldemort. Maybe Gaia had special magic that permitted her to use his wand, their connection permitting her to draw on his magic... Perhaps Ollivander would know.

Snape was weary on his return, holding an odd twinge of excitement in his gut— a hopefulness mixed with sheer terror that she may not in fact, be there. A few moments later he was not far behind the group, relieved to see her safely in protection of Dumbledore's chambers. And there she was, writhing in her suffering but safe nonetheless. He carried the antidote in his hand, disturbed to see the rather intimate position he found her in, in the arms of Remus Lupin.

Hermione was cursing and it wasn't pretty. "Damn it! Fuck! Let me…GO!" But she didn't mean it. She felt him more than saw him. She couldn't bear it. Not you, not here.

Remus' arms crossed on top of her own, and she became aware that they were rubbing against her chest, aggravating her condition. She took her hands and yanked on his forearms pulling them underneath her breasts, instead of rubbing on top. Damn it! Now her cleavage was pushed up and quiet visible in her button front neckline. With her wriggling, her blouse was crooked, exposing a flesh tone bra strap. Looking down she noticed it, both aroused at her state of dress before Snape, and embarrassed that this was in public view of everyone.

"Come on, Miss Granger. I have the antidote." Snape began to lift it to her lips and she shut her eyes tightly.

Don't look, don't look. She was moaning and could scarcely still herself enough to drink. She glanced at his fingertips around the neck of the vial. His fingers… "Don't touch me! For the love of God, don't touch me!"

He was hurt, feeling slighted by her rude outburst but tried to rationalize that it wasn't personal. It was the potion talking. At least that's what he tried to tell himself. It was a blatant reminder that he was universally disliked and repulsed by everyone, but such vocal rejection hurt him nonetheless. Snape took the opportunity to empty the contents into her mouth while it was open.

The potion went down at once and Hermione regained the tiniest measure of control. Remus, gratefully, did not release her even though her shuddering subsided a bit.

Even after the potion took effect, she did not look at him. Not even a 'thank you'. Snape kept silent.

"What on earth is going on here?" Cornelius Fudge said, stepping out of the Floo. "Miss Granger, you have finally decided to grace us with your presence."

Oh great, him. She tightened her lips in pain, still dying to answer his question. She was still under Veritaserum and could feel it pressing her will to answer.

"Don't ask me anything! Please." Hermione covered her mouth with her hands so she could create a dam to prevent a river of words from flowing off her tongue with any unexpected questions. As if that would work.

"Excuse me Miss Granger, but it seems that you, young lady, have a lot to answer for." Fudge began. It was all he knew really, focus on the little things, lose the larger picture.

It was Dumbledore who surprised her. "I think it is not quite time for that Cornelius, but perhaps it is time for you to share with us the identity of who you are so desperately trying to protect. We could help you." His voice was kind but firm.

A suggestion really, not a question…yet. Hermione had no doubt he would force her to talk eventually. She managed as the weaker truth serum was wearing off, "I didn't tell Voldemort, you think I'd tell you?!"

"Now listen here," began Fudge but he was cut off.

"No you listen! I am surrounded but no less than four men and I would just as soon shag all of you in less than five minutes if Remus were to let me go!" Cornelius paled as did Minerva and Dumbledore. She was very serious. Age made no difference.

"Give me 48 hours, just two days and I'll try to make this right. I'll talk to him. I'll tell him. I promise." I give in. I can't do this anymore.

People glared at her, clearly disappointed with the solution. They wanted the name.

"You can forget it," she added. "I'm not telling you. I won't disrespect him by discussing this matter with you first."

Dumbledore found his voice. "Alright then. You may not leave Hogwarts."

"I have one errand. I have no wand," she explained. "I'm not going anywhere without help. But I need Remus…"

"Why him?" Snape inquired, surprised at his outburst. Why him? You fool, you know why.

"Quite frankly, because he's the only one strong enough to restrain me," she bit out harshly. Lupin kept his tight grip on her and she was grateful. The lust potion was wearing off, but the physical reminder of restraint was helpful. Truly, she was more vulnerable than anything because Severus was within two feet of her. She caught Fudge's disapproving looks. "Don't worry, Minister. You can have a go at me afterward." She winced at the double meaning. "I'll stand trial or whatever."

"You most certainly will, young lady. Albus."

"Cornelius, good day to you. Thank you for arriving so promptly," Dumbledore replied smugly. He was already thinking of ways to defend the young woman. An angry Fudge disappeared through the Floo.

Hermione exhaled once Fudge left, removing her hands that she'd been using periodically to cover her mouth. "Thank God, he's gone."

"Why didn't you complete the spell?" Dumbledore asked reflexively, faster than Hermione could think to stop herself from answering. It was the question on everyone's minds and one that had not yet been phrased exactly that way. Now she was under a combination of lust potion and antidote, full of narcotic components which magnified the weakened Veritaserum.

Here in the presence of the object of her desire, she flew into an explosive and emotional tirade. Hermione tried to wrench free of Remus' grasp and slammed her hands down his arms. Remus trued to regain his hold.

"Because I couldn't stand to be pitied! That he would have sex with me as some sort of obligation, that I would have to be subjugated to the torture of his attentions knowing that each caress is meaningless!" She gasped a sob and sucked it up angry as hell. "I'm in love with him and there's nothing I can do! Sure the wards will come up, but what then? What happens to me, when I'm no longer needed?" She beat her chest. "Hogwarts is fine and I'm left with what?!!" Hot fiery tears flowed down her red cheeks and everyone in the room was taken aback at her blunt honesty. It was probably the most selfish thing she had ever said.

Snape was shaking inside, Gaia stirring uncomfortably ready to leap out and protect the struggling witch at the right moment to save her from divulging something she would not ordinarily share.

"You are left with the satisfaction that you finish what you started, Miss Granger. That you protected Hogwarts and the students in it!" Dumbledore's face held ferocious wrinkles, nearly all traces of compassion gone in her admission of selfishness. Everyone had lost sleep worrying about this girl and he was finding it difficult to forgive her.

He was about to speak but Hermione started in again,

"Great, be angry! Be all compassionate when Harry screws up, but yell at me! Aren't I allowed to make a mistake or two?! I'm just a normal girl, you forget that I think. I can't always be practical, and this is as far from logical as I've ever gotten. Don't you worry— the wards will come up. It's a sacrifice my object of desire will be willing to make," she laughed sarcastically. "But if you don't mind, I'd like to take my NEWTS in a few weeks and leave this year. I just couldn't bear to stay here after it's over." Her voice started out strong and changed to a whisper, her hands shaking, her chest caving inward. She crumpled with an anguished hiss, shaking off Remus' efforts to console her.

Dumbledore was reminded then of how much Hermione had endured, and how much she was still willing to give up to make sure that Hogwarts was safe. He had spent time to praise the SOS, but Hermione hadn't been here for that speech.

Minerva was choked up, as well as Snape and Remus who were also holding back some emotion at her outburst. Hermione Granger had just told them she was leaving Hogwarts.

"Miss Granger," Dumbledore said hoarsely. "I am terribly sorry you think we care so little of you that we would look for you and search for you purely to complete the spell. You are extremely important and dear to all of us. I will look into your desire to take your NEWTS early, if you feel you can do well. I will make arrangements for you to stay in your own room away from the common areas, if you wish."

"Professor, can I please be excused? I am really not in any position to talk now." She wiggled again, her wrists pinned painfully to her chest by an iron grasp. Snape glared at the girl and she was becoming irritated again by the presence of so much testosterone.

"Very well," he said with a sigh. Dumbledore was still very upset, but knew that it would not be a productive visit with Hermione in such a state.

Remus lifted her over the steps and her feet dangled as he descended the circular staircase. She began to feel better the more distance was placed between her and the Headmaster's Office. Snape's gaze bore a hole right through Remus' back. She had just returned and already she was slipping away again.

"So where are we going?" Remus asked.

"What— you forgive me?"

"I shouldn't judge you. Am I angry you left us with no way of knowing where you were? Yes. Should you have included at least one of us on your need to escape? Yes. But do I understand all the reasons why you thought leaving was best? No." His voice was firm, but honest.

"I need you to put me down first. I think I'm okay now really," she said more calmly and he finally released her on the front steps. She grasped her hands where bruises started to appear and Remus touched his wand to heal them.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"It's not your fault Remus, I'm the one who struggled."

"That's not what I meant. You've been through quite a bit, are you sure you don't want an ear?" Remus was offering again, so kind. And under normal circumstances she would've taken him up on the offer. But she was exhausted, and he was a man. And not Severus.

"No thanks, I'll take a rain check. I need to go to Diagon Alley."

"Now you're just being crazy."

"I'm not. I have one errand only and if I'm right it's early yet, still before the stores open and should be mostly deserted. Please," she implored, putting an arm on his forearm.

"Alright."

Snape watched from the window as the older man escorted her to the front gates and disapparated with her under his arm. He didn't know quite what he was feeling except that he didn't like it.

Millicent and Neville were walking back from Greenhouse three where they had been tending to Neville's Herbology project in the early morning hours. They had become quite an item in those months, all shocked Slytherins quickly hushed after being threatened by the formidable Millie. She had relaxed, not nearly having to be so tough to compensate for being treated like a lady. Neville was kind, handsome and yielding. He wasn't possessive and it was exactly what Millie needed. She wouldn't admit it yet, but she could definitely picture a long term future for the both of them. Neville tugged at Millie's arm and pulled her behind a large hedge.

"Not here!" She whispered loudly. Good grief, didn't he get in enough snogging last night?

"Not that, Millie! Look!" Neville pointed through the bushes and they could see Remus Lupin and Hermione Granger walking toward the front gates.

"Oh, Neville! She's back!" Millie wanted to run to her but Neville held her back. "What? Don't you want to…"

"Millie, maybe now is not the best time to talk with her."

"She probably just got back, why is she leaving again?"

"I don't know." He shrugged. "Maybe she finally asked for help. We can ask Dumbledore. Maybe talk to Pansy? Do you think she'd know?"

They watched them disapparate and left the bushes. Looking up the steps they did not notice Snape far off glance as he stood in an open window. They marched up to the Great Hall, to approach the Headmaster's office, running into Professor McGonagall.

"We saw Hermione," they said simultaneously.

Professor McGonagall pulled them both aside and said to them sternly, "We need this to remain secret until the spell is completed. Tell no one she has returned. She is still in danger, as I am sure you are aware. Am I making myself clear?"

"Yes, ma'am." Neville and Millicent replied.

"Now, return to your day. I'm sure you will hear something soon enough." McGonagall shooed them on and Dumbledore approached her from behind.

"Minerva…"

"Albus, we need to talk to Potter and Weasley. What about her parents? They at least should be notified of her safe return. We won't be able to keep this secret for long."

"She didn't ask for too much time. I think Hermione would prefer less attention instead of more." He shook his head and looked at McGonagall apologetically. "I think she was right. She anticipated my response too well, before I even said it. I regret how angry I was with her."

"Albus, you are a kind and gentle man, always have been. I have seen you show more compassion than I thought anyone was capable of showing. I think even you are entitled to slip up every now and again." She winked fondly at him. "Though I am surprised you seem to show more anger with Hermione for running away than you did with Tom for his foolishness. Of course I think perhaps you were so angry because something horrible could've happened to her."

Dumbledore wore a weary and sad expression. "I was frightened more than I'd like to admit. I wondered, did I fail her? What made her feel she couldn't come to me?"

"Oh, no you don't. Don't take all the responsibility of that for yourself. I'm her Head of House, and a woman. Do you think that's something that hasn't crossed my mind? What about her mother's? Maybe she simply needed to do this herself."

They had a special bond, anything else was only suggested by their closeness. Minerva could always calm him, when she was usually perceived as the fiery one. They complemented each other well.

"So, who do you think?" Albus asked.

"What? Are you suggesting we cast lots?" Minerva looked offended.

"What a marvelous idea!" He clasped his fingers together with an impish smile.

McGonagall scowled at him, then realized he was joking. Of course it wouldn't be the first time the staff had bet on things like this before, so it was hard to tell whether or not to take Albus seriously.

"Quite right. No betting," he gave a phony look of dejection, but was not too displeased with himself.

"I was thinking maybe Mister Potter. You know, maybe she fell in love with someone she couldn't have—her best friend's boyfriend?"

Dumbledore reared his head back and squinted at Minerva. He couldn't picture that at all. "You have been reading too many romances, Minerva."

"Oh stop it. I know it was a ridiculous notion. So… who do you think?"

"Based on what she said? I've been thinking about that…" and walking away, Dumbledore did not answer her question.

"Ooh! I hate it when you do that. Albus, come back here…" Minerva marched with her elbows out in a power walk trying to keep up with the man who she had said would be the death of her. He would haunt her thoughts mercilessly until she couldn't stand it. Therefore, Minerva would be pestering him until he revealed his guess. Once the spell was completed and the secret out, Albus could (and would) claim he had known all along. She hated it when he claimed he was right. Damn all-knowing, self-important, smug, twinkling…

Remus and Hermione apparated on the irregular cobblestones of a back alley in a magical offshoot of London. Hermione scanned the passage. "Can you put a Disillusionment charm on me so I won't be noticed? There still may be Death Eaters lurking about."

Taping his wand on her head, she went colorless. Taking his hand she led him to the side door of Flourish and Blotts. Remus had never been this way before, the side door was not visible from the street.

"A bookstore? Hermione…"

"Shhh!" She knocked a secret knock. "Take the charm off."

"They aren't open, Hermione." He sighed. She was still the same Hermione. "Finite Incantatem. I can't believe you're coming for books."

She just rolled her eyes. A hand reached through the door and welcomed her in, though he couldn't see the rest of the woman.

Hermione walked up the steps and turned to face her chaperone, blocking the view of the woman behind her. "I'll just be a moment. I'm not going anywhere."

"You had better not." Remus narrowed his eyes, extremely displeased with that promise. He cast a quick charm on her as she swept in the door. In essence an invisible string tied them together. She wouldn't be able to get twenty meters from him without being pulled back toward him. He peered in the window of the shop, but could only see them slip into a back room.

She followed her back to the familiar room— one Hermione had visited almost a year ago.

Buckwheat hooted happily, outstretching his wings in a greeting he saved for special guests.

Hermione smiled broadly, and nodded to the handsome messenger.

"Your safe! Hermione, I'm so relieved to see you." Katie admitted embracing the disheveled girl. Holding her back at arms length, she took in her state. "Oh my, did you just return?"

Hermione nodded.

"Did Professor Snape find you?" Katie asked.

Her mouth went dry. "I beg your pardon?" Severus was looking for me. Her stomach churned with the flattery and the guilt.

"He came here about a month ago, following a lead." Hermione raised her eyebrows. "Actually he found the book I sent to you and came to check our logs to see if you purchased it, and if so, where you had it delivered."

She sighed. Hermione knew people were looking for her actively, but it never really sunk in how much that entailed until that statement.

"What did you tell him?"

"Well, I couldn't very well tell him the truth... so I sort of faked an entry in our sales logs. He thinks you bought it from outside the Leaky Cauldron and had a bright yellow tropical bird named Chiquita deliver it to you."

"You're as sneaky as he is," gesturing to her feathered spy on standby. "Thanks."

"I didn't exactly know where you were, and just that morning Buckwheat had tried to send you a note but he couldn't deliver it." Katie's eyes showed the worry she had held since Christmas.

"Katie, I need an unusual favor from you. I must say, it does have to do with Professor Snape."

Hermione asked Katie to do something she had never done in her entire career. It went against her every principle. In the end, Katie agreed, hoping the benefits would outweigh the perceived risk.

Hermione emerged ten minutes later to a pacing Professor Lupin. "There you are. I tell you after four months, you make every minute seem like an eternity. Any more errands? Take in a bit of shopping?" He jibbed with heavy sarcasm.

"We can go back now, but I must ask that you not reveal to anyone where you took me today, alright?" Hermione asked.

"Are you serious? It's a bookstore, not Knockturn Alley."

"I am totally serious. Don't say anything to anyone. This is not a small thing." The severe look on Hermione's face implored cooperation.

Remus couldn't comprehend why she would need such secrecy, but took her at her word.

"Harry and Ron have worried themselves sick about you. Your parents too."

"My parents?" She sighed, feeling the guilt weigh her down. "How are they?" Dumbledore had hidden them last summer.

"After Christmas, they were moved to the Burrow."

"I don't know how I'm going to tell them. I'm glad they're with the Weasley's."

"A lot has been explained to them already. Don't worry; they'll be relieved to know you're okay." Remus patted her arm reassuringly.

"I hate to wait and talk to them, but it'll be easier if I take care of things here first. You think you can tell Dumbledore?"

Remus frowned. "Alright. At least he can tell them you're safe. But I can't promise your parents won't storm the castle to demand to see you."

Hermione knew that's what would probably happen. She almost dreaded the conversation. Actually, several conversations. The talk with Harry and Ron after the one with her parents topped her list. And the one with Severus— God, what on earth was she going to say to him?

Hermione asked her next delicate question on their return, not twenty-five minutes had passed since their departure. "Remus, when do you get out of your staff meeting tomorrow?"

"Seven thirty, eight o'clock... Depends on whether or not it lasts a half-hour or just an hour. It's usually pretty short this time of year due to exams. Why do you ask?"

"I make need to take you up on your offer of that talk tomorrow evening."

Remus escorted her to the private rooms Dumbledore had allotted for her. She needed privacy. "Is there anything else I can do for you, Hermione?" He genuinely wanted to be helpful.

She turned in the door to face him, her eyelids were getting heavy. "Keep all men away from me. I mean it."

"You seem alright now." Remus suggested. She shouldn't be alone.

"I'm not," and she shot him a hungry look to show him she wasn't out of the woods yet. Truly, she just didn't want to be disturbed by anyone, and avoid the uncomfortable questions they would ask. She felt fine now that Severus wasn't in her near vicinity.

"Very well then," he added uncomfortably. He transfigured a straight back wooden school chair in the hall and Hermione frowned.

"Who's that for?"

"Me! Wotcher, Remus!" Tonks bright pink head of hair came into view with her cute freckled button-nose and an outrageous green tie-dye t-shirt that read, I'm not Irish— But kiss me anyway. She gave Hermione a big hug.

Remus waved a goodbye and Tonks started in. "Are you sure you don't want to be an Auror? Because until your capture by Death Eaters, which was deliberate as far as I know—still can't figure that one out," she scratched her head. "When you lay low, you lay low. I couldn't believe we couldn't find you in four months! Wicked, really. Bloody brilliant."

Thank God, she doesn't seem that angry with me. Hermione smiled. Deliberate? I don't know if that's a complement or not. "Tonks, it's great to see you, but I feel like crap. I really need a shower, or a bath. Or both." She hadn't bathed properly in a long time and felt nasty after her ordeal with the lust potion. It had left her sticky and sweaty. She was sure she smelled to high heaven.

"I gotcha. Right here if you need me." She winked and Hermione closed the door behind her

She cracked the door open and peeked out."Hey, could you ward the door and put silencing charms on it for me?" Tonks made a questioning face. "Don't ask," Hermione added.

Tonks cheeks now matched her hair.

Hermione didn't come out for anything all day. After a two-hour bath, and it lasted that long because she fell asleep in the suds, she took a six hour catnap on the large bed. Naked, she did not bother to crawl under the covers. Her damp curls dried in a tangled mess so when she woke, she realized she had to start all over again.

Severus paced in his dungeons toward the lab and back to his desk with no particular destination or task in mind. There were papers to grade, potions to brew and research to continue but he found himself unable to settle down and focus. Hermione was finally in the castle and yet still had not completed the spell. Gaia seemed restless within him and he felt the need to do… something. What was Gaia there for if not to be used? Snape knew he wouldn't feel better until Hermione had completed the spell and the wards were sealed and permanent, though even then it gnawed at him that something wouldn't feel right about it. Secretly he dreaded the moment when the walls would shake and tremble from her joining with Remus. He didn't mention what she had divulged during the interrogation to Lupin or Dumbledore. He wanted to avoid the uncomfortable discussion with them about teacher/student boundaries, and certainly with his first hand account they would force him to stay and endure a long protracted discussion about every last detail. Snape could not bear that, so he said nothing. It was only a matter of time anyway.

'Give me 48 hours.'

In a reclined slump, the heavy weight of guilt upon him, Snape drank from a snifter of Ogden's while he had half a mind to give in and drink from the bottle. She weighed on his mind all the time now, not only in dreams but in daylight hours as well. He saw the empty chair in his classroom which usually held her rapt gaze, the bushy-haired vibrant Gryffindor, eagerly waving her hand in the air. No, that was further back. She wasn't that girl anymore.

'Do it. KILL ME!'

Such nerve. 'How could she love someone so much?' Any student would've given in under such pressureBut she wasn't just any studentHe had pushed the thought off and blamed it on foolish Gryffindor bravery but she wasn't the same girl anymore. Not a girl. A woman. She held the convictions of her soul privately inside and her face held a look of steely determination. She was a powerful witch. He'd seen it that day in the Great Hall when she blessed him. He saw it again when she was willing to sleep with that man at the pub, and saw it in her eyes when she drank the Veritaserum, but tempted Malfoy with her eyes. He heard it in the laughter of her voice as she suffered through two rounds of Crucio, tempting those around her to kill her, desperate to end her suffering, seal the spell. Die for the object of her desire.

She was safe for the moment, and Snape was skeptical at her wish to put it all behind her. Yesterday, she had been willing to die for the spell to be ended. Yet she didn't quite anticipate how persistent Death Eaters could be. She would have talked, he was sure of it. He had even weakened the Veritaserum he gave her and yet still the truth spilled from her lips. It may have been because her interrogator was someone she trusted. Yet Malfoy's cruel attempt really tipped the balance. He was so relieved that Gaia had shown herself, offering Hermione a way home. That had been his only thought for four months.

He hated to see the way she cowered from him, avoiding his gaze even when he tried to help her. 'Don't touch me! For the love of God don't touch me…'

Gods, when had he ever hurt her? It was a painful rejection to bear, from the one student who actually truly paid attention in his classes, and one of the only people he had really permitted to work alongside him in his lab. He knew she was trying to limit the contact she had with men, but then Remus was holding her and she hadn't minded that. And after being released from Dumbledore's office she left with Remus. And the wolf was clueless, still looking after her in a paternal light. He had no clue of her desire for him— hopefully he would be gracious enough. She truly loved Remus, yet Severus still struggled with the reason for her flight. Perhaps she was uncomfortable with the concept that he was her teacher and was certain of rejection. Maybe she had concerns about his lycanthropy, though she needn't have worried.

Snape grew restless. It was over and yet there were still classes to teach and finals to prepare. She was going to tell the object of her affection that she loved him. Snape had only just found her. So why did he feel like he was losing her all over again?

When she had arrived at school she was writhing with sexual tension. Snape was so angry about Remus' contact with her. No wonder she couldn't control herself. And no wonder she chose him for an errand. And Remus didn't have a clue. Snape found himself beyond furious, he envied him, and loved her. Snape loved her. Gods, is that true? Fuck, you know it is, you hopeless bastard. Now go have a drink and read some goddamn poetry.

Snape went to the glasses and his bottle of firewhiskey, but it was too early to be drinking that heavily, even on a day like today. If he started now, he would never stop.

Gaia seemed on edge all the time, and it worried him. Giving Hermione's rather carnal inclinations, Dumbledore had ended the spell on the mirror after a particularly compromising moment. She of course, would be visible all the time now, but at least they respected her privacy.

He couldn't obsess about it anymore, but wanted to check on her. She was in an isolated part of the castle and Tonks was watching her. She wanted to be away from everyone and rightly so. Even before taking the lust potion she struggled with her composure, he could see it in her eyes. Her self-control hung by a thread when she left Dumbledore's office. Perhaps she would benefit from a potion to help her.

He swept down the dungeon hall to the steps and climbed toward the back halls. He climbed several flights of stairs until Tonks could be seen. When Snape came into view she bolted to her feet and confronted him.

"Relax." Snape said. "How is she?"

"You are the fourth man to ask," Tonks said brusquely. "Ron, Harry, and Dumbledore came by. Honestly, do you know what 'no men' means?"

Snape's jaw clenched. "I feel a certain responsibility to be here, and I don't feel like explaining that to you. Certainly my presence alone will not disturb her."

Tonks had her wand out, ready to hex him. Pansy and Melanie came up the back steps behind Snape holding a box of supplies and a hanging bag.

"Excuse us," Melanie said squeezing by.

"What are you two doing here?" Snape asked bitterly his eyes still locked with those of Tonks.

"Here to see Hermione. Don't look so surprised, we unlike you, are women and therefore are allowed to visit." Melanie's jaw dropped at the harsh tone Pansy used with Snape but he hated taking points from his own house.

They knocked and the door opened a crack and then slammed shut. "Damn it, I said no men! Are you out of your mind?!" Hermione screamed through the door in frustration, and pressed her body up against the door just to be closer to him. She could almost smell him on the air.

Pansy glared at Snape. "Please. She has radar and everything."

Snape gritted his teeth and left angry, furious that they would not even allow him to help the obviously distraught girl. "Allow me to at least bring a potion for her to help calm her."

"No."

He was shocked beyond belief. "What do you mean, no? She needs my help. Why would she refuse it?"

"She specifically said no help, no visitors. I believe she means to take care of matters herself." Tonks said, crossing her arms. She considered the matter closed.

Snape grumbled under his breath and stalked off.

"Don't feel bad," she called out to his retreating form. "She wouldn't talk to Dumbledore either."

Once he had left, Pansy and Melanie entered. Hermione looked at Pansy apologetically and they hugged. "Thank you," she whispered. She hugged Melanie too. "Thanks for everything."

Hermione retrieved the box with shaky fingers, hoping all of the potions ingredients were here. Pansy enlarged a small cauldron and Melanie hung her hanging bag in the wardrobe.

"Here's the box," Melanie said to Hermione with a serious nod and enlarged it. Hermione looked at it a bit morbidly, it still had the unbroken seal on it.

"Did you have trouble hiding it?"

"Did I ever. I shrank it and hid it in the floorboards of my room. I once charmed it so small it fit in my locket and carried it around with me. But that just felt strange, like I was waiting for something bad to happen. Hermione, I'm so glad you're okay." Melanie gave her a hug.

"Thanks for bringing it. I hope you don't mind, but I need to speak to Pansy."

"Sure, Hermione. You know I'm here if you need me. Good luck." Melanie slipped out the door and passed by Snape in the hall of the way to her dorms, avoiding an interrogation about her visit.

Hermione continued to stare at it. It was the box Severus would have received on her death. Now she was going to use it for an entirely different purpose. It felt strange. She was here in the safety of Hogwarts, but did not feel as safe as she should feel.

"Guess it didn't work out quite the way you thought, huh?" Pansy said. She was trying to make light of the situation, and Hermione appreciated the attempt. She shook her head.

"I don't have my wand, can you light a fire for me?" Hermione set the cauldron on the stone floor and Pansy did the honors.

"What happened to it?"

"Death Eaters snapped it in half." Hermione was angry to even talk about it.

"Are you okay? Did they hurt you?" Pansy asked tentatively.

"I'm fine. Just had the wits scared out of me. Poor Kendra. You should've seen where they kept her. How is she?"

"Still recovering in the infirmary. One of SOS stays with her all the time, but it's usually me, Orla, or Melanie. She's not talking yet, but I can't blame her. She refuses to sleep in a bed. Madame Pompfrey had to transfigure a chair for her."

Hermione remembered the vision of the tattered, soiled cot in an empty room with no other furniture. She couldn't imagine the horrors and wished she could help her. Even virgin's blood wouldn't heal her emotional scars.

They talked while Hermione brewed a strong anti-lust potion. Hermione made careful notes of the stronger ingredients, becoming distracted every now and then by intrusive thoughts. Pansy noticed and kept her on track helping her to brew.

"I was so relieved when Draco said he found you, and then this happened." Pansy removed her robes and Hermione's eyes widened when she saw her arms and torso covered in Latin. She had been so preoccupied before she hadn't noticed. "I'm sorry. We tried to find you by casting a spell to increase your desire, make you desperate so Dumbledore could see you in a special mirror. Ginny and I wrote on our arms with grease marker at an Order meeting. We saw you writing runes in your hotel room."

Hermione sucked in a sharp breath. "That was you? I had just moved in." Hermione remembered it vividly. She didn't want to tell Pansy who she thought it was, playing tricks on her.

"We didn't mean to put you through that. But we were so desperate to find you. Ginny and I didn't really know what it would mean to have you gone for so long. When you grabbed the knife, we all feared the worst. Snape got so angry. You should have seen him. He cast a spell and knocked the mirror over breaking the spell."

Hermione was surprised. Hearing her describe the scene it sounded like he wanted to protect her. She shook her head. He felt obligated to help. She bound him to that when she blessed him.

"After Draco came back from seeing you at the bar, these words just started appearing over and over. Ginny has them too. We felt fine, but these aren't even the same words we wrote on our arms originally."

"Strange." Her voice seemed empty, not really listening. She was perpetually distracted.

"So… you're finally going to tell him?"

Hermione nodded as her unsteady hand added the powdered moonstone. The potion turned pink then the final iridescent lavender shade. It was ready. She bottled it and Pansy disposed of the rest. She didn't ask who he was. It wasn't necessary. Pansy didn't need to know why Hermione was doing this. It was obvious. She remembered how out of control she felt when coming back to face Draco. Hermione had been gone four months. The abundant writing covering the better half of her upper body was enough of a visual to guess that Hermione needed chemical assistance to keep her desire reined in. Pansy poured her a glass of water and Hermione took the dropper and put in three drops.

Hermione drank it down as Pansy prepared her objections. It was plenty strong and was surprised to see Hermione didn't budge. She didn't pass out, though she looked a little woozy.

Hermione walked to the pitcher and poured another glass, adding two more drops for good measure.

"Whoa! Don't overdo it!" Pansy said.

"Believe me, I'm not. Do you have a watch? I need to time how long this stuff lasts," Hermione finally spoke more than a few words, now that her emotions were in better control. She drank down another glass, and with shaky knees shrank halfway to the floor when Pansy pulled her to a nearby chair. Hermione's head was buzzing but the effect subsided quickly, much calmer now that she had taken nearly three times the normal dose.

Pansy glanced at the stopwatch Melanie had given her as a keepsake of the spell. Hooch had extras, she'd said. "Oops, I almost forgot…" Pansy pulled a file of contraceptive potion from her jacket. "I picked it up from the infirmary. You'll be needing this, I think."

Hermione stared at it before downing the vial. Hard to believe what she was finally about to do. All this time, she had longed for it. For him. And he would probably do his best to tolerate her. The potion didn't taste bad, but the thought of his distaste for her made her face screw up.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Actually," she said in a drunken drawl, "I'm trying my best not to -hic- think about it at all. Hic— Oops. I think maybe four drops –hic- would be fine, instead of -hic- five. Sskind of sedating."

"You think?" Pansy snapped and yanked the bottle hanging loosely from her grasp, setting it carefully on the sideboard.

"Any suggestions? How did –hic- Draco take the news?"

Pansy laughed. "He was kind of shocked when I practically attacked him. I couldn't explain things and then 'do the deed'. I kind of explained as we… you know."

"God, you could think and do that at the same time?"

"Not really. He had to um… restrain me." She blushed. "I was a little out of sorts." That was an understatement. "How do you feel?"

"Randy as hell with too little coordination to be aware enough to -hic- do anything about it."

"Good enough." Pansy sighed.

Hermione hoped she'd be marginally sedate enough to have some kind of civil discussion with Severus. Then again he may have to employ more extraordinary measures to control her— otherwise, he may not get out alive. She thought of the possibilities and her mind stirred with thoughts of ropes, handcuffs and silk scarves. Ugh… she had to keep those kinky thoughts in check otherwise she could never control herself long enough to get the words out.

Pansy finally left after recapping the semester. Hermione went into some detail about her life in the cave and the bar, then swore Pansy to secrecy. She left Hermione's quarters with letters for Ron and Harry. Hermione was entirely unwilling to have any contact with people who would ask too many questions.

Ginny had done her best to break the news of Hermione's return in private to the boys. Ron was completely hacked off.

"She owes us an explanation! She leaves off and doesn't tell us where the hell she is for months and we're left thinking the worst!" Ron was in full tirade letting off the steam he'd been holding in. He loved Hermione, and was more hurt than ever that she hadn't in some way included him in her confidence since last year. "Her parents are at my house, and Mrs. Granger cries in her tea everyday. It's awful! And what about her responsibil…"

"Ron, stop it! Just stop. It's not easy what she did, and she's the only one who can explain it. I'm sure if she could talk to you— to any of us, she would have. Just look at this," she said tartly, pulling up her sleeves and her shirt partway to reveal the carnal tattooing. "This is not a reflection of someone who's had it easy. She needs all of our support. After all this is over, I'm sure she'll be free for you to chastise."

Ron looked down at his feet, still angry. Harry was relieved that Hermione was back, waiting for word like Ginny. He and Ron had tried to go see her and were refused.

Pansy walked in the Room of Requirement.

"Did you talk to her?" Harry asked.

Pansy nodded and ushered for Ginny to come over. Harry and Ron were feeling put out again, until she gave letters to each of them. "She loves and misses you," Pansy passed on. "Be patient. She's going to need our support soon."

Ron walked over to the corner and sat in a chair. This is what he'd been waiting for, but he was still angry it wasn't her in the flesh explaining this to him. He broke the wax seal and unrolled the letter. It was the messiest thing he'd ever seen, certainly from her. It was covered in hasty scratch-outs and tearstains.

Dear Ron,

I cannot pretend to know how angry you must be with me for worrying you all so much. I apologize if this letter seems unorganized—I'm not in a real good place right now.

It was so hard being away from you, but harder still thinking I could never come home. You probably think I'm pretty selfish in not finishing the spell and you're right. I made things way too complicated and they are really very simple. I love someone, and he probably won't ever feel anything for me. That's it. There are other details but it's all semantics.

God, Ron. Why couldn't it be you? Things would be so much easier if you were the object of my desire. I know we agreed on being friends a long time ago, but really—at least you would be good to me. You wouldn't make me feel horrible.

Don't worry, I have no doubt that the wards will come up. But I will need your support either way. I fully expect him to refuse me, and I don't know if I can bear to be kicked aside once my role is completed. Unless some miracle befalls me and there can be anything there to develop, I don't expect to confess to anyone who it is. Maybe one day, I'll tell you about it.

I'm rambling. Please don't hate me. I need you guys, and I'm sorry I haven't been there for you like I should have been. I'll talk to you in a few days when this whole thing is over and done.

Love, Hermione

All of the color drained from his cheeks, and his hands trembled as he read her letter. How could he be so insensitive? And who would kick her aside? Who couldn't appreciate and see all the wonderful things in her? She needed them the whole time and couldn't talk with any of them. She's sorry she wasn't there for him like she should have been. Hermione was his best friend and had been there for him loads of times. It was her turn— he'd be there for her.

Harry sat across the room, reading his letter in shock at the content. Her disjointed thoughts were only glimpses of her experience. This was a far cry from her usual concise and structured letters. Hermione had really been through it.

Dear Harry,

He's not so big and terrible as he'd like to think. And I can't wait to see you kick his bloody arse off the map. Voldemort tried to look at me, steal my thoughts and he couldn't. I think it was my Goddess, I'm sure of it. So you study Occlumency as hard as you can, because the look on his face was priceless when he saw absolutely nothing. He's empty. He has nothing. Oh he's scary all right, but you have everything you'll ever need to beat him. I see what Dumbledore was saying all along about you. Have faith in that.

I was terrified out of my mind. I could've ruined everything after being captured by Death Eaters, and I don't know how I managed to hang on. It's a long story, but when it comes out I don't know what's going to happen to me.

I don't know why I didn't come home right away. I tried to leave with Kendra, but I couldn't reach the portkey.

I feel like I failed you. All this time, you have this big destiny and when it was my turn, I ran. Not a very Gryffindor thing of me to do, I know. When you find out all the reasons why I hope you won't be angry with me. You would call me stupid and foolish. What happened doesn't make any kind of sense. Please understand. At least you and Ginny get to be together. I'm not going to be having any luck with my circumstance.

I'll talk to you soon, in a few days. When the wards go up, don't come running after me, and help protect my privacy please. I'm going to need some time. Maybe I can stay at the Burrow.

Love, Hermione

Harry felt a deep ache in his heart in reading her letter. To a degree, she knew what it was like to bear a horrible burden. She had faced him, Voldemort— alone. It was a miracle she was alright. Maybe one of his friends finally understood what that felt like to face Voldemort. Now he wouldn't feel so alone.

Ginny had told him after Christmas they expected it to be over and done with after the spell. How wrong they were. When Hermione left, they all thought it was for a little while, not forever. While he was angry at her departure, in his heart he believed Hermione had a good reason for it. After Sirius died, he felt like leaving too. Chucking it all, he expected to pack up and leave to God only knows where with no particular aim other than to get as far away from everyone— the school, Dumbledore, Snape, and everything that reminded him of his obligations.

He reread her letter. She felt like she failed him? He identified with that fear all the time, but the idea that Hermione Granger would ever consider herself a failure at anything was incomprehensible to him. When they were younger, they felt like they knew it all, could do anything—and now that harsh reality of death, destiny and doom loomed over them they could only feel a sense of flawed inadequacy. He wondered if all the Order members felt it, as they pressed on with the daunting task of defeating Voldemort.

Ron was looking pretty shook up in the corner, and mysteriously quiet. Harry was sure she had written different things to each of them, and while they were accustomed to sharing everything, this did not quite seem the time to discuss it. Harry sat unmoving as he watched Ginny's mouth drop in shock with some of things Pansy quietly shared with her in the corner. They would wait.

Harry left to see Dumbledore. If Hermione wanted space, he would make sure she got it.

Hermione vacillated back and forth between telling them about Severus versus keeping it secret. From one moment to the next, she honestly didn't know what she'd do. She settled for another bath, a new dose of anti-lust potion and drifting off to sleep.

When she woke, she didn't know what time it was and fumbled for her watch in the belongings Melanie brought for her. Ten thirty. Damn. Nine more hours.When she closed her eyes she could see and feel him, and when she opened them, she could make out his face, black fitted vest, cape and trousers. His hands looked all the more appealing against the tight black sleeves that hugged his wrists. So much was hidden, but his deep piercing eyes communicated an intense persona. God, how could anyone not find him sexy?!

Her desire swelled within her again and considered foregoing the glass of prepared potion. A knock on the door made her reconsider, and she drank only half, barely keeping her strong emotions at bay. "Who is it?" she asked tentatively. It had better not be a man.

"It's just me," Tonks said.

She opened the door. "Snape said he brought this back for you from… wherever you were." She held out her book bag and Hermione visibly paled.

Had he looked in it? "Thank you," Hermione murmured, still a bit stunned. "Wait, I need to give you a note to pass to Ginny." Hermione scribbled it on paper and gave it to her.

"Hermione, you need anything else?" Tonks was trying to offer her another ear, but knew she wanted privacy.

Hermione thought a moment, and decided carefully. "Do you think you could make a clear path to the fifth floor? I'd like to get out of this room and play for a bit."

When Tonks departed, Hermione sank into the bed. Rummaging through her things, she found that everything was as she'd left it. Pulling out the bottle of Ogden's, she noted it was still almost full and the missing the green ribbon. At least she could be reasonably sure he hadn't figured that part out.

She sighed relief at the absent clue, the dead giveaway she expected to be still on the neck of the bottle, and retrieved the forgotten adornment from her left jean pocket. She had kept it for some sort of luck, and now that she was safe inside the walls of Hogwarts, she guessed it had worked like a charm.

Nine hours seemed like an eternity to wait and she worried again about his response. Glancing at the contents of the items emptied out on her bedspread, her eye caught the rosary. 'When was the last time you prayed?' she could hear Sister Mary ask her. Hermione felt guilty for not talking to God about her worries earlier. He knew her heart of course, but she needed to be open to him. She needed the comfort only her faith could provide at this point. It would be easy to pray a selfish prayer— ask God to make Severus notice her, give her a chance.

'He will not refuse you.'

Hermione prayed, silently trying to reject the more selfish thoughts in her own mind. God will not refuse me. She breathed, in and out. She felt calmer, only just. When Hermione opened her eyes the dove alighted on her window as it had in her dorm and in the forest, if indeed it was the same bird. Still on her knees, Hermione reached up to open the windowpane very slowly so as not to startle him. The dove hopped in and Hermione watched the animagus transform into her guide.

She was speechless. All this time.

Sister Mary gave her a broad beautiful smile, the one that belied her age and made her face so much lighter than the circumstances which surrounded her. "Hello, child."

Hermione hugged her because she lacked the ability to say anything coherent. She had confessed nearly everything to Sister Mary and had obviously kept her confidence, trusting her to come to the right decision all along.

"How?" Hermione asked.

"How what? How did I know where you were? How old am I? How come I didn't tell you I was a witch earlier?"

Hermione nodded. Sister Mary shook her head and pulled Hermione to a standing position.

She sat on a nearby settee, and patted the space next to her. "My dear, I learned long ago that many things that happen can not always be explained away by science, math, and magic. How did I know where you were? I didn't. I don't think it was sheer chance that I happened on you however. I don't believe in chance. God has his own plan you know."

"And why didn't you tell me you were a witch?"

"Because it is only one aspect of my life, and is no longer as important to me. Put simply, I am also a witch. Being part of the church fulfills me in a way that magic never could." Her face changed a bit, a little sadder. "I fought in the war against Grindewald long ago, and then I left the wizarding world. I practice very little. Most people have forgotten about me, except the older wizards and witches of course. I still keep up with current events as they are, but choose not to get involved with that. I have paid my dues and they were dear. The war hurt me deeply, and the church helped me to recover from that."

"What about what you did to Malfoy?" Hermione said. She had seen from the bushes.

She laughed. "Ah, my dear, someone my age never loses their touch. The Power of the Innocent, you know." Sister Mary winked.

Hermione wondered if she may be the oldest virgin alive, but dared not ask.

"You have had quite a bit on your mind lately," Sister Mary opened.

"He hates me." Hermione knew it wasn't true, but it felt truer than the converse statement.

Sister Mary had seen Professor Snape at St. Peter's and later in Albus' office. She knew. But Hermione needed to find out for herself. "Your love is yours. It belongs to you. He may reject it, but he cannot destroy it. What you give Hermione, is yours for good. What you keep is lost forever."

They sat and talked for a long while, Hermione finding more solace in Sister Mary's calming spirit than at the bottom of a flask of tonic.

Tonks warded the room heavily and snuck quickly to Gryffindor House. She caught Seamus as he was exiting which earned an appreciative smirk from him as he read her shirt which captioned: I'm not Irish… but kiss me anyway. Seamus didn't dare.

"I need to see Ginny Weasley, is she here?"

"Um… sure." He leaned his head back into the common room and yelled, "Hey Ginny! Someone's here for you!"

"I could've done that," she said.

Ginny bounded down the stairs in casual clothes on a Sunday. Seeing Tonks, she slipped out the front door. "What's up?" Tonks passed her the note and she read it. 'Please come see me and bring Harry's invisibility cloak. Don't worry, I'm not leaving.' Ginny smiled in amusement. It was good she'd mentioned that bit about not leaving, because it was the first thing that came to mind in sharing Harry's cloak. It was always used for missions.

"I'll be right back." Ginny left though the portrait hole and retrieved the cloak from Harry. He knew better than to ask questions at this point. She left back through the portrait hole and Tonks explained to Ginny Hermione's wish to go to the fifth floor.

"That's that special room where you've been holding your DA meetings right?" Tonks asked.

"Among other things," Ginny said, with wider eyes. She wasn't about to explain exactly how useful that room could be. Pansy caught them in the hallway on the way back to her room, and followed the pair.

"Does she want company?" Pansy asked.

"Don't know. Let's see. Finite incantatem," Tonks said and the silencing charm on the outside of the door lifted.

All three of them flushed pink. Noises could be heard from the room, and she could faintly make them out. Hermione was only inside by herself, so Tonks quickly replaced the silencing charm and sat in her chair. They waited twenty minutes and then Tonks sent a note through the space under the door.

When it flew under the door the note said clearly, 'We're here to escort you to the ROR.' Hermione was still decompressing after her last orgasm. Avoiding the short-term benefits of masturbation while alone in her room, in her current state, was near impossible. She composed herself and washed quickly, drinking a full glass of anti-lust potion. She wasn't woozy anymore, and wondered if she could already be immune to it.

She walked to the door, and opened it tentatively. Ginny held out the invisibility cloak and then hugged her tightly. Hermione couldn't miss the markings littering her skin like Pansy's.

"I'm so glad you're back, and you're okay," Ginny said. "It makes a big difference that I can see you with my own two eyes."

"Thanks. Can we go?" Hermione slipped on the invisibility cloak and waited until the three women gave the 'all clear'. She marched up the stairs as quickly as she could, slipping out of sight of students enjoying the weekend.

Hermione paced back and forth, thinking about the piano. Once she opened the door, she was afraid to look. She spent so much time thinking about sex, she was afraid what the room might provide. Mrs. Weasley always said, 'don't trust anything if you can't see where it's brain is at.'

Pansy saw her hesitation and knew right away what she was afraid of. It haunted her too, the time she was preparing to meet Draco. If one thought about it too much, the Room of Requirement could really freak a person out. It was almost sentient.

Hermione stayed for several hours playing on the piano and singing when she could find her voice. Pansy and Ginny stayed only a little while, seeing they were not needed. Tonks also left, staying outside to give her more privacy. The sounds of the music echoed down the columns of stairs reaching Severus' ears. She had moved. Gaia stirred and settled. She was doing that a lot lately. She probably wouldn't rest until the spell was completed. He still couldn't figure out why his own Goddess hasn't protected Hermione when she was being attacked by Lucius. Perhaps she was as much protecting him and his role as spy as she was Hermione. In thinking about her, he found his feet carrying him toward the fifth floor. He stood in the shadows just down the hall listening for what chords he could discern, avoiding Tonks glance. The vibrations and stresses on the words betrayed the lines of the familiar tune.

'…Why the Gods above me, must be in the know? Think so little of me… they allow you to go? When you're near, there such an air of spring about it…'

He left silently. Snape had to stop punishing himself.

The staff meeting was droll and tedious. Even thirty minutes seemed like an eternity to professors who would rather be grading their end of term assignments than arguing about next year's Quidditch schedule, or who will proctor the NEWTS and OWLS.

He absently sipped his tea, unaware that it was lukewarm. The content of the discussion thread faded from the front of Snape's mind as he again became preoccupied with his feelings for the woman who blessed him.

She was so utterly beautiful… terrible… a complete mess in Dumbledore's office. Her hair was in disarray, loose from her bun. She struggled against Remus who was clearly having to grip her arms tightly at times. Her chest heaved with the effort to control herself. And while it pained him to hear her vocalize her suffering he could altogether admire her bold demand that she would accept no pity. What happened when she came in? No, 'how are you? We are so glad you are safe…' No, no— it was, ' Tell us who the object of your desire is.'

He knew just how she felt. Snape couldn't count how many times Dumbledore had asked him for news before inquiring about his health. But he also hated well-wishers. Dumbledore and Minerva had often made him feel pitied by his peers. And as often as the Order hung on his every word about Death Eater news as if he possessed some secret power, he could see in the same moment the unsolicited concern and pity in the eyes of people like Molly and Arthur Weasley, Arabella Figg and Poppy Pomfrey.

"…you would intimidate your charms students if you attend an examination on a subject you teach Filius!" Minerva snapped.

"And I suppose you want to proctor the Charms exam yet again this…"

The half-heard arguments of McGonagall and Flitwick brought Snape out of his reverie, a strange deja-vu. Who would attend which NEWTS and on what schedule was a subject beaten to death by the pair, and they had those conversations as long as he could remember. Severus had his own preferences of course, but was wise enough not to inflame the matter by inserting himself in the debate by participating, so he returned to reflect on Hermione.

Snape stroked his chin thoughtfully, feigning interest in the topic at hand while concerning himself with the man seated beside him.

Hermione Granger wasn't a woman to be pitied. And she was about to throw her virginity away, if she indeed still possessed her sexual innocence, to someone who looked on her in almost paternal fashion.

Lupin had spoken of her of course—several times in fact. He expressed concern when she had become distracted in class, had come to her defense when her purity was called into question. He was regretful over her disappearance and how the staff contributed by not appearing available enough to the students— and was genuinely hurt at her refusal of her offer to come to him personally with any concerns she may have.

Lupin fretted over her health that day after seeing her in the forest, feeling horrible guilt that she had taken her time to heal him and yet he could not save her. Damn Gryffindor men. Potter, Weasley, Lupin, Dumbledore—the lot of them used to see Hermione as a smart formidable witch, "the smartest of her age" inside the walls of Hogwarts. Once she left, what then did they think of her talents? Couldn't they see how resilient she was, how strong? She survived in the cave for three months in winter, and then faced Voldemort himself, wandless, yelled at him and lived to talk about it. She got herself out. She didn't need their help, as much as it might make them all feel better and heroic for thinking she did.

How on earth could man like Remus, who saw her as a weak, helpless girl in need of rescue— how could he truly appreciate her when she comes to him?

Her two days was almost up, and it appeared that she was using every bit of time given to her. Snape held a begrudging respect for Remus, the boy who stood by and watched as his friends tortured him in school. Over the years they managed to put most of the past behind them. Remus was a respectful gentleman, and would make it easy for her, as easy as he could. Snape had thought earlier in the year that perhaps there was something between them, but Remus wasn't one to cross those boundaries. However, Remus had allowed himself to get too emotionally close to the trio, blurring the lines of student teacher with their intimate connections as practically family. Hermione naturally felt attracted to his concern, he rationalized. Snape scrutinized Remus' expression several times, which he didn't miss.

He stared at the werewolf. His hair was in disarray, always looking a little worse for wear, but sharp—astute always. If he was so observant, how could he not recognize what a remarkable woman she was?

"Severus?"

Remus must have repeated his name a few times. "Yes, what is it?" He asked a bit tersely.

"Is something bothering you?" Remus asked.

"No."

"Well at least we have the day off tomorrow," he said.

"What?" Snape asked. He had missed that.

"Minerva and Sprout were suggesting that the students would do better on end of term exams if they had two grace days to study. Also OWLS and NEWTS students could receive private instruction on those days," he whispered.

Snape felt relief at the news. It was likely that no students would dare approach him for assistance, and he might actually be able to take a break.

Hermione took one more bath. She had lost count. It was mental thing, a relaxing ritual, washing off the negativity and trying to don a confident attitude. Washing her hair the Muggle way, using products that could be found at any drugstore, Hermione had finally accepted her hair for what it was— a bushy, raving, golden brown stack of hair. Occasionally her hair held curls, on an off-day. She decided to stop trying to make it do unnatural things and work with it.

She laughed. Hermione removed the towel from her hair, easily able to obtain a foot of hair on each side of her head. After working at the bar, she grew accustomed to pulling her hair back, dealing with the rabid hair without magical means to tame it. Oh, Pansy had dropped by the Sleekeasy's, and she used it sparingly, a dab, just enough to deflate her hair and still look like herself. She had inherited her father's kinky waves and her mother's curls. Her mother always complained about how limp and thin her hair was. Hermione couldn't believe her mother would envy her volume. Everyone probably wanted hair they couldn't have.

After brushing it carefully, she took two sections of hair from the underside of it and wrapped it over the top, securing it to the back of her head with a tortoise shell barrette. The rest hung in kinky waves to the middle of her shoulder blades, with a curl stuck out here and there. It was her.

She gazed at the silk robes in the wardrobe, admiring them as she had at Gladrags. It hung shapelessly on the hangar, never worn before. She could catch the subtle impressions of flowers and clouds woven into the fabric, which could only be seen if they caught the light a certain way. On the inside her stomach was doing cartwheels, but at least on the outside she would look put together.

Hermione wondered if he would take her seriously. She laughed. No really, would he even give her a second glance if she was no longer a student? She put her shoulders back and took a good long look at herself. She no longer tried to look older, or be something she wasn't. She wasn't heavy handed with her make-up like she had done at the Yule Ball. She could only be Hermione.

She was about to make a fool of herself, as if she hadn't already. If it had been the other way around and he had loved her, as least she would have the decency to feel flattered by it.

Hermione spent a good deal of time in the mirror. Not primping so much and touching up her make-up, as she was getting up her nerve. She tried not to focus on the fact that she was about to sleep with him. The main thing was that she was about to be confronted, yelled at, or ignored and she had to give herself some kind of backbone. 'What you give is yours for good.'

She took a deep breath. Seven o'clock.

Donning the invisibility cloak, she slinked down toward the dungeons. People were waiting.

The meeting began to break up, and Snape got to his feet quickly, preferring solitude to idle chitchat. As soon as he exited the staff room his thoughts immediately returned to the obsession with Hermione.

He swept down the hall, his black cloak billowing behind him, his footsteps pounding against the stone floors to the dungeons harder than usual. Snape was famous for being silent, stealthy even. But when angry and preoccupied, his footsteps lost that silent quality. Mercifully, he did not encounter one student on his journey to the dungeons.

It would happen tonight. He didn't know if he could bear to be here when the spell was sealed, when the walls themselves would shake with confirmation of her joining with Remus.

Hell bent on grabbing his cloak and having a drink or three in Hogsmeade, he flung open the doors of his dungeons which such force that they rebounded off the walls with a satisfying thunderous echo.

He did not at all expect to see the woman standing before him, regarding his rather alarming entrance with little more than amusement.

"Katie? What brings you here?" he asked quizzically. He didn't apologize for his entrance, of course she didn't seem to have been bothered by it. His discomfort over her intrusion into his private office was overwhelmed by his curiosity for her visit.

"I am terribly sorry, Professor Snape…" she began formally. She was always so proper. She carried herself like a lady, yet held back a power about her that was palpable. Like Minerva. Katie was someone who could handle herself—a tight fitting corset and lace sleeves could not disguise that.

"Please call me Severus. And don't apologize. I'm just surprised; I usually don't leave my classroom door open," Snape sighed. They had at least done enough business together that she could call him by his first name.

"Severus. Could you ward the door please? I have a business matter to discuss with you," Katie said.

Snape furrowed his brows at her and complied, as she had done the same for him in her office. He motioned for her to sit, but she waved him off.

"Severus, I apologize but I must end our business arrangement." Katie interlocked her fingers to keep from fidgeting.

"Why is that?" Snape asked, wondering why her discretion would be so important, especially now that the work was complete.

"Out of necessity, and at the request of the artist, I can no longer keep the confidentiality of your calligrapher a secret. I hope you understand. This is highly unusual."

Snape brow furrowed. How could the artist make that request? And why would Katie feel compelled to permit it?

"The artist is here to meet you, right through that door." Severus made to walk toward his study, but she held up a hand. "Please— wait until I leave. And before you enter, there is a box for you of an earlier work on your table, which should provide you with some answers." She held back her smile, in it's place she possessed a blank expression of professionalism which betrayed no secret.

Snape's gaze floated to his characteristically immaculate desk, devoid of any clutter except a quill and an inkwell. Instead, there was a thin black box and the Ogden's that he had sent as a thank you. He didn't quite know what to make of it. Katie had been so adamant about secrecy, almost more so than he would have been.

Katie made to leave and then turned to address him. "I would strongly advise you to pour yourself a drink Severus, and before you walk through that door." Katie left the room and she shut the door firmly behind her, sealing the wards once more. Good luck.

Snape wondered how Katie and the artist had gotten in. And he hadn't remembered leaving the door to the adjacent room ajar. He tentatively walked to his desk, intrigued by the distraction that had presented itself. What was the big mystery?

Taking her suggestion, he uncorked the bottle and poured whiskey into a crystal tumbler. He took a sip before turning to the puzzle before him. His long fingers lifted the square lid, causing air to be sucked into the box. The lid finally gave in and popped off.

The carefully penned note read: 'My first stab at the cover seal.'

He lifted away the white acid free paper and picked up the perfectly square parchment beneath it with his left hand.

'I don't expect you will really understand the beauty of the softly simmering cauldron with its shimmering fumes, the delicate power of liquids that creep through human veins, bewitching the mind, ensnaring the senses…"

The glass of whiskey slipped from his ordinarily nimble fingers, shattering to pieces on the floor. He stared at the seal, then to the sonnet which hung on his wall, and then at the broken glass at his feet. Reality imploded —his knees buckled and he leaned his weight on the desk.

It can't be.

Severus quickly regained his balance. He had to know. Still clutching the seal in his left hand, he stormed the door to the study where they had shared so many evenings of research, and flung it open.

His breath caught in his throat at the sight of her. He both knew she would be there, yet couldn't accept her presence. Standing across the room, facing the fire, she was dressed in the long silk crimson robes that finished in a flash of burst orange at the hem, the ones he had seen her purchase in Hogsmeade. Her hair was pulled back from her face, her hair in heavy waves down her back. He had never seen a more beautiful sight.

She stood almost frozen before him with a look of remorse, perhaps guilt in her eyes. The firelight flickered and caught the golder hues in her hair. Despite the darkness, her brown eyes sparkled with hope and interest.

Hermione had heard the glass break. She turned to face him and said again, "I'm sorry." She mashed her lips together and waited for the response she knew was coming.

Severus could not find speech to help him. His mouth hung open in surprise— he had grossly miscalculated his guess.

"You've said that." Another long pause. "You did the book," Severus said dumbfounded. That wasn't really what he was saying. "I thought… Remus…"

Hermione took a step forward. "Remus is like an uncle. I could never…" Her speech was a little slurred. "I'm so sorry," she sank into the couch. Tears welled in her big brown eyes, she felt so guilty for putting him in danger. "I was ready to tell you anything back there. I wouldn't betray you… I wouldn't. He… he would've killed you on the spot. Right before me," she whispered on frightened breath. Hermione felt gooseflesh on the back of her neck, remembering the danger they faced. "I put you in a horrible position…" Her hands fidgeted with nonexistent wrinkles on her cape.

"Hermione, I am always in a horrible position," Snape said taking the seat next to her.

She was shaking like a leaf, as fragile as he perceived her that day she found Remus in the forest, and then Snape recalled the events with Voldemort. He should have been furious, but found him incapable of hating her. 'Please don't do this… you'll regret it. Don't touch me…' It all made sense. Her distractions in class, her behavior at the Yule Ball— why he wasn't propelled away from her during the interrogation, as much as he had desired her.

Severus was normally so confident and sure of himself in odd situations. He was good at improvising, always looking for the objective route. Now for the first time in years was finding himself at a complete loss.

"What's this?" he asked, picking up the flask of potion.

"Anti-lust potion," she replied, plucking it from his fingers and taking a swig. "It's wearing off quickly now."

He had meant to ask her something relatively benign, and now he felt more uncomfortable than ever. "You shouldn't drink so much of that…"

She drank again deeply and Snape was alarmed she didn't keel over.

"Right now, this is the only thing keeping our conversation going," she said. She placed the glass back on the coffee table but fumbled a bit and almost missed the edge. She scooted it back toward the middle of the table.

Snape looked at the striking woman to his left. His palms sweated and then cursed his bodily reaction. It was fine when he had thoughts in his chambers. Those could be dealt with, but now he had her to consider. This isn't right.

"Why? Why me?" Severus got to his feet, and tried to put some distance between them. It was easier for him to pace than to reach out. No one had really reached out to him when he was younger. He always made sure he was the one to walk away first.

"Why not you? Severus…You have so many admirable qualities, and there's a terrible beauty about you. You take so little thanks for what you do. I don't know when exactly I started worrying about your safety, but I notice. I do. I've prayed for you by name for two years."

Severus snapped his head around to look at her, but her unblinking gaze revealed no deception. He had a vision of her at the Cathedral, kneeling, lighting candles. He was overcome with amazement at her admission and then jerked himself back to the bitter, disbelieving man he was.

"You can't love me Hermione. You don't know me," he said tersely.

"Don't tell me how I feel," she snapped, bolting to her feet and stalking toward him, her hands on her hips. She was ready for a refusal, but she would not permit him to tell her how she felt.

"You're too young Hermione. You have no idea the things I've done, what I'm capable of… You're not in love with me, it's that bloody spell," he said from an insecure place.

"Don't you dare patronize me!" She was shaking and pointed her finger at him. Snape was not accustomed to hearing anyone yell at him like that. "I know you're not perfect, but I know exactly what you're capable of, and while I don't know a lot about your past, it was dark enough for you to turn back. That takes a lot of courage to do something like that. I've loved you long before we started that stupid spell— I don't know exactly when…" She covered her mouth with her hands and realized immediately she had said more than she wanted. She turned abruptly to face away from him.

"I'm sorry, this is so embarrassing." Her face reddened, ashamed to admit that she had loved him so long ago.

He took a step toward her, wanting to comfort her, but hesitated when his hands were an inch from her shoulders and put them down by his sides. "I saw you in the bar," he said, not knowing why.

"When?" she turned to face him, and took a step back when she realized how close they were standing. She wouldn't be able to resist him much longer if she didn't keep some distance.

"Dumbledore had a mirror, and you… propositioned a man named Jason," he said in a hollow voice.

"Nothing happened," she said, her skin flushed. "I just couldn't go through with it. I felt so out of control. The spell was relentless, it was almost a relief when the Death Eaters kidnapped me, because at least then I felt something different! The fear took over, the desire faded. But it was just temporary. Then you showed up, and I couldn't even look at you," she whispered. She couldn't meet his gaze even now. She didn't want to see the pity there.

"I thought I repulsed you." Severus said almost to himself.

Hermione grabbed his arm to look at him, and then released him. "God no! I'm just so… so…" she breathed looking into his eyes.

"You are such a good man. Smart, appealing in your own annoyingly condescending way…" Her voice trailed off when she broke eye contact to look past him, distracted by something sticking out of the lower coffee table. She cocked her head to examine the familiar page, which was sticking out of a slender red volume of sonnets. "Where did you get this?" She waved it in front of him.

"This was in the library at Headquarters." He snatched the poem from her before she could read it.

"You knew." Her mouth gaped open, and then closed as she saw his confused face.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"I hate to love him, The exquisite torture of unrequited love, His voice and manner haunt my dreams in both sun and shadow… I would gladly accept an Unforgivable in place of the unforgivable betrayal of your identity. Sound familiar?" She rattled it off the top of her head, changing the possessives to fit.

Severus paled and looked at the prose in a beautifully formal hand. It was an original he had noted.

"I wrote it. About you. That day you interrupted me in the study, I slipped it into the book to hide it and couldn't find it afterward."

He ran his fingers though his hair. Severus, you blind fool. Last summer even… All this time…

"Now do you understand?" She had divulged everything, naked before him and he had shared nothing. She sucked in a breath of arousal, the potion was wearing off. She took another sip of the potion, and then downed the glass. Severus couldn't stop her, yet she appeared completely unaffected.

"Hermione… " He raised a hand to touch her cheek tentatively, not really knowing how to proceed.

She stood abruptly and pushed away his hand and moved toward the fire, facing away from him again. "You made your feelings about me over the years quite clear! Just… let's get this over with," she sobbed. "I should have come to you in January. I don't know how much more of this I can take." Inside her heart was breaking, resigned to the inevitable mechanics of the spell.

Severus walked to her and put his hands on her shoulders, warming them, turning her slowly to face him. He measured his words carefully. "No you shouldn't have. In January it would have been easier for me to reject what you said and how I feel. Hermione, I don't think I really knew what I lost— until you were gone." His long fingers outlined her cheek and lifted her eyes to meet his own. He wanted to show her his sincerity.

"Don't… just don't. Don't pretend! I know I'm much younger than you…"

"Foolish girl," Severus hissed, holding her tightly to him, whispering in her ear. "You think you are the only one who can feel strong emotion? That you are the only one who is afraid someone else won't understand?" She could feel his hands clutch her possessively at her shoulder and hip.

How he feels… Her mouth dropped open in disbelief, shaking her head. "How do you feel?"

"I should be furious with you. I have been furious actually, looking for you for four months. You made me crazy with worry for you." He pulled back and searched her beautiful brown eyes, finding her soul in them. "Still don't believe me?" He left her abruptly and crossed into his classroom, unlocking a large desk drawer. She followed closely behind and saw him motion to look in.

He pulled two large stones form the drawer, the ones she used for bookends, and all of her textbooks, her notes and his book. Everything from the cave. He saved it. All of it.

"I've been over and over your work. It's very good," he crossed his arms in front of him and took a step back.

"I made the notes all through last summer, while penning your book," she said. "It's brilliant. I studied it all last summer. I promised Katie I wouldn't divulge my identity. It was hard not to introduce your work into our project. Really some of the finest potions literature I've ever read."

He looked at the book on his desk, knowing now it was the one he sent to her. "How did you get this?" He asked, running his hand along the embossed cover.

"Buckwheat. I don't know how he found me. Luck, I guess. He sent my note to Hedwig who passed it to Harry. Katie never knew where I was."

"You're very gifted," she said in a whisper. "I had fantasized about telling you, once I graduated. I also hoped my feelings would fade, but they didn't."

He walked to her and turned her shoulders to look him in the eye. "I'm glad they didn't fade. Hermione, ever since you left… you've stayed with me. If something had happened to you…" He gripped her arms so fiercely it hurt. I love you. He couldn't say it. He had no idea what would happen next, what would happen afterward. 'Sure the wards will come up, but what then? What happens to me, when I'm no longer needed?' He didn't know what Dumbledore would think after it was over. He couldn't imagine returning to his former role. He shuddered to think how he could hide it from the Dark Lord. He didn't want to think about that now. The woman he loved was in his arms.

Hermione doubled over, her insides clenched with anticipation. "Oh… oh God— Severus, please help me…" She chewed her lip and looked up at him, her brown eyes filled with hungry demand, imploring his intervention. She couldn't restrain herself anymore, and the potion on the table was now worthless.

Grabbing her waist, Severus pulled her tightly to him in a bruising kiss. His tongue slipped past her lips to meet her own, leaning her back further into his arms. When she moaned against his mouth and bit his lower lip, it undid him.

He was so thrown by her voracious appetite. Her hands were everywhere, enthusiastically clawing at his back and around to his front tugging at the tight buttons which closed the front of his fitted frock. She was desperate… for him. And it was arousing as hell to know that she wanted him more than she wanted sex.

She pulled away and despite her state managed to make short work of his vest and half the buttons of the silk shirt beneath it. She slipped her hands in to brush the fine hairs on his chest and graze against his nipples. Every touch drew her nearer to the completion of the spell. Hermione was lost in her own rabid impulses and while Snape was caught up as well, here was not the place to see to her needs. Severus swiftly removed her hands from his chest despite her incoherent protests. He kissed her again to quiet her and deftly carried her toward his bedchambers.

Her skin was on fire, every nerve ending humming. She was lost in the sensations of his mouth and felt a rush of cool air hit her when they entered a different room. With a wave of his wand the room was warmer, a fire in the hearth, and candles to allow him to see her.

It was probably a lovely room, but Hermione had no interest in seeing anything except Severus. It bothered her that her first instinct was to keep her body as close to his as possible, when somewhere deep within her wanted them to slow down, take their time. When Severus stood over her she pulled him to the bed and rolled on top of him, grinding her pelvis against his own.

Severus could restrain her, but had no intention of doing that. He helped her remove his shirt and vest and unhooked her cape. The fine dark red silk that followed her curves slipped away, revealing a slowly plunging neckline. Her pale skin was a beautiful peach tone, and a lovely shadow between the valley of her breasts promised other wonders. She was becoming distracted by his gaze and her hands felt backward to stroke his thighs. The hem of her cloak was trapped underneath her and he lifted her to remove it, pinning her beneath his weight.

"Severus, I need you…" She wrapped her fingers around his neck and pulled his head down to meet her mouth.

His name on her lips was intoxicating, and she kissed him again.

"So long… I've been waiting so long…" she murmured.

His tongue moved against hers and he lost himself. He was suddenly startled by the uncomfortable pull on his trousers. Her hands were between them, one knuckle brushed against him setting all of his senses alive. He wasn't prepared for the more direct contact, and changed tactics. Severus grabbed her hands quickly and flipped her on her stomach, pulling her tightly to him. Holding her hands together with one hand, he nestled his hips against her backside and unzipped her dress with his free hand.

She squealed and whined in the pillow beneath him, both frustrated at being restrained and aroused at the delicious sensations. He traced a finger along the curve of her back to her panties. Finally he released her to slip the dress off her shoulders and run his hands along her backside. He scooted lower until his hands dipped beneath the garment to rub her plump rear. He gasped at the feeling of hot bare flesh there. He slipped off the dress the rest of the way.

Gods help me. She wore a black lace thong which parted her creamy cheeks. Her thighs were already glistening with the fruit of months of pent up longing.

Hermione twisted rapidly, unable to wait any longer, but Severus was faster, clapping his left arm over her shoulder to keep her there. He shifted to lay on her left and draped his right leg over hers to secure her cooperation. He wanted to make this pleasurable for her. Taking his right hand, he rested it on her calf, running it in slow circles higher towards her thighs. Hermione's breath was coming in short gasps now. She cried out almost immediately, and Severus realized that due to the spell, nearly anything could happen and she'd be writhing.

He moved faster then, rubbing his hands and fingers on her skin. His heart was racing. He touched at the insides of her thighs and she cried out again. When he rested his hand over her bottom her hips bucked sharply and he stopped.

She was his, in his bed, calling his name. He wanted desperately to look at her and not her backside. He removed his arm that was restraining her and slipped her underwear off in one motion. At the same time Hermione flipped over quickly to grab him.

She was beautiful, her eyes fierce and passionate. Severus wanted her more than he ever wanted anything and he felt guilty for it.

Hermione caught it. That subtle look of regret and concern in his eyes. She was naked before him, legs parted wide, mouth open slightly. She reached up for him and the action pushed her breasts farther together in her black lace bra. "Severus, talk to me…say something…" she pleaded. She wanted him, but she wanted to know it was okay.

Gods, to hear her beg for him. "Hermione…" He breathed, pulling her up into a passionate kiss, and unhooking her bra clasp as he did so.

She kissed him feverishly, tears streaming down her cheeks. She was raw, unrefined. As the last of the potion left her veins her desire was free, and she was held captive by it. Her hand ripped at his clothing, her right hand quickly pulling him free from his undergarments. Her legs came up and kicked off his trousers in one motion.

Severus barely had enough time to register how very naked they both were. She was about to take things further, but he broke away.

"Damn it, Severus! Where are you… OH!"

Her hands tangled in his hair, encouraging him and his fingers were free. One found her breast and the other snaked toward her center. He looked at her periodically, their eye contact smoldering enough on its own during his ministrations. Without warning, her climax overwhelmed her and she came in a piercing scream. Her hands left his hair and reached under his arms to lift him up to meet her lips.

Her mouth was hungry and demanding like the rest of her. "No more foreplay, I want you now!" she growled.

He hooked his legs around her own, preventing the thrashing movements of her hips which might hurt her. She squealed in protest, no longer nice, polite or patient. Thinking of more formal restraints only aroused him further and he wanted to be in control.

"Severus, please…"

Severus kissed her and pressed against her smoldering flesh.

"Hermione wait.."

"Damn it, I want…" She wriggled, and bit her lower lip.

"What do you want?" he rasped.

He pushed a little, rubbing against her, enjoying her frustrated excitement, drawing it out.

"Severus, don't stop!"

He looked at her and made eye contact. That was his mistake. He pressed a little at a time, and noticed how her eyes grew wider and her breath more shallow with each tiny movement.

"Severus!" She dug her nails into his back and gripped him tightly.

The walls of the castle shook so hard, he thought the room would collapse around them. A picture frame fell from a bookshelf and landed with a crash on the floor, as the spell concluded. The room was bathed in light and dispersed quickly, but Hermione seemed not to notice as she rocked against him. Her eyes never left his, and she relaxed.

Her face quieted and her face grew more serious and contemplative. She was reaching out to him now, with her heart and body. One of her hands held to his waist and one stroked the side of his face and pulled at his hair as he entered her.

Everything around them was still and quiet as they moved slowly, hypnotically now. So beautiful…

Her eyes began to close as her spirit climbed again. She forced her eyes open to take the sight of him in, and her breathing quickened.

Severus groaned and ached, unaware of his own labored pants as he watched her.

She looked happy. I could make her happy. The feelings that inspired overwhelmed him easily, bringing him swiftly to an inescapable peak.

Hermione saw his smile and kissed him tenderly, nipping his lips and tasting him with a tenderness he had not yet known from her. Everything up until now had been demanding, searching, unquenchable.

"Hermione… Hermione…" Severus fell forward lost in his own sensations as she brought him to oblivion, kissing her passionately and moaning her name against her lips. The feeling of love he held for her hit him hard.

Her face flushed, and he could feel her soaring again just after he was spent. His name was a whisper on her lips, so intent she was on his own satisfaction. He lay between her comfortably, his chest pressed against her, and their arms entwined. She kissed him and did not stop, despite his need for air.

She loved him, deeply. Unconditionally. He could see it in her eyes. The spell was over. The uncontainable, irrepressible desire had evaporated, but her feelings for him had not. She still wanted him. Desired him. Severus was at a loss for words, and could only wrap his arms around her and kiss her gently, the way he wanted to by the fire before all of this happened.

His lank, black hair hung around his face as he bent over her and she ran her fingers through it. It embarrassed him to see her warmly appreciate a part of himself that he had always detested and been ridiculed for in school. She looked at him in confusion, like she could see past all of his insecurities.

She kissed him— his face, each cheek, each eyelid and brow above it. Her fingers followed lightly along the creases in his forehead and crowfeet. She smiled. She was pleased with what she saw there. She rolled him over slightly and lay on top of him. Using her hands she kneaded his muscles, her hands exploring where they wanted to. She leisurely kissed his collarbone and traced it with her tongue, and when he made to speak, she shushed him with a kiss on his lips. She didn't want this to end, and he didn't stop her.

He looked at her womanly features— her eyes, her long hair, the shape of her neck and the curve of her shoulder. How could she want him? How did he get here? He closed his eyes as she kissed him and stopped asking himself such questions. At least they have right now.

Severus allowed his own hand to touch her face, and caress her cheek fondly. His face held an expression of awe at her loveliness, taking in the sight of her body as if she were a work of art. Her breasts were full and round, enlarged from her arousal. He was hesitant to even touch her and then finally skimmed her nipples until they puckered and stood out.

Her mouth opened a little, aroused again by his attentions and descended on his lips. When she kissed him, he thought he could feel her heart beat against him, though the rhythmic thumping could have very well been his own. Hermione interlaced her fingers with his and then brought one of his hands to her mouth. She examined his hands, so graceful. She had spent so much time thinking about them. She released one hand and kissed it, palm first, and then each of his fingertips. She gave him a seductive look and took one long finger in her mouth, nibbling the end and sucking it down to his last knuckle.

Merlin, woman… Her eyes never left his, but they flashed a bit when she noticed his condition. She did not ask and kissed him down his chest to his navel. She pressed her palms flat across his hips, looked up at him wantonly, licked her lips and breathed on him.

He flinched. He gasped. Gods what was she…Oh, Hermione...

It took no expertise at all for Hermione to pleasure him. She had enough time lost in her own lustful desires to know exactly what she wanted to do. She did not let him sleep. She sucked and licked and stroked and prodded and slapped, until he finally relented and returned her favors.

They made love all night, but didn't identify it as such. They could not remember when sleep finally claimed them.

When she awoke, her body was spooned against him, their legs interlocked and her arms around his shoulders. She closed her eyes for a blissful moment. Their bodies were the same temperature, melting into one another. She couldn't tell where she ended and he began. Hermione wanted to savor this, burn it into her memory. She didn't want to breathe too heavily, for fear that everything would change before her eyes. By the sound of his breathing she could tell he was awake, but did not know for how long. She pressed her lips to his neck and kissed him, inhaling his spicy scent.

"Hermione…" his raspy voice held a hint of discouragement. He gritted his teeth.

Oh God, not the lecture. The let down. She knew it was coming and swallowed her emotion. "Shhh. I don't presume to know how complicated you life is, or how much more complicated it would be with me in it. But I want you know without a doubt— I love you, Severus. I will always love you. Whenever, if ever, you are ready for more— I will be here."

Severus couldn't say anything. He couldn't find speech. What was he going to say? This was excruciating. Her harsh words from Dumbledore's office flooded back to him. 'What happens to me, when I'm no longer needed?' 'You are needed,' he wanted to say. He could still feel her breath on his neck. He remained motionless, and her arms were still about his neck. Close enough for him to reach up and take her hand, roll over, start all over again. But he didn't.

Her heart pounded in her chest. This was it. She had to leave. "I won't tell anyone if you don't wish it. I respect your privacy," she said quietly. She wondered to herself if he would be embarrassed if it were known. Ashamed of her.

"If you are referring to the Headmaster, it is impossible for him not to know. He has ways," he said with a groan. He slipped back into the mode of Professor too easily. He couldn't stay here, with her, like this.

She bristled at the change in his tone, but she should have expected it. She got up slowly and spied her clothes on the floor. Her underwear was knotted up so tightly, she could barely make it out. She left her skin in contact with his own until the last possible moment. Seeing his wand on the dresser she waved it to clean and dressed herself swiftly.

She replaced his wand quietly on the dresser where she'd found it and moved to leave before he could object to her use of it.

"Thank you," he heard her whisper from the door.

His eyes closed tightly, too much of a coward to turn and look at her. His tears had already soaked his pillow and he dare not look at her leaving him.

When the wards came up, Pansy and Ginny said a silent cheer for Hermione and watched as the wanting words faded and vanished from their skin. It was shortly after dinner and the Great Hall was empty save a few stragglers. The blue pentacle glowed, showering the walls in a warm light. As the wards were made permanent, the blue light that had adorned the hall since Christmas finally subsided and winked out. Once the light of the spell dispersed, all of the members of SOS felt a sharp sting on their skin, down past their navels. Pansy hissed and ran with Ginny out of the hall to the bathroom to look.

"What is it?" Ginny said, having difficulty with her zipper.

"Shit. What... does it glow in the dark too?" Pansy grimly looked down at her bikini line with displeasure at her parting gift. Ginny just started laughing.

Even though the pentacle had disappeared from the hall, the spell left each girl with a 'little' reminder, at least a visible sign that they were united together in sisterhood. Not that it was needed—those girls were bonded for life. They didn't need a tattoo for that.

Harry sighed relief knowing that Hermione was finally free of her obligation. He looked forward to some return to normalcy. He missed her deeply—as a friend, with the DA, with everything. He relied on her a lot for her sound judgment and couldn't talk the same way to Ginny and Ron about some things as he could with Hermione. She had a very logical and nurturing way of keeping him grounded. He was so tempted to look at the map at that moment, but it was a breech of privacy she wouldn't forgive him for.

Legs crossed and head hung, Ron sat on his bed staring blankly at his transfiguration text. He had read the same passage three times already and still couldn't remember what it was he had read. The rumble through the Gryffindor dorms incited a fair amount of murmuring amongst students who fled to see what had happened. No one had really explained the tremors before, though all seemed to guess accurately that it had something to do with the wards and the pentacle.

Dean called upstairs, "Hey, Ron! Everybody's going to the Great Hall! Aren't you going to come and see?"

Ron didn't budge, and when Dean received no response he left Ron with his thoughts. Everyone was concerned with some stupid symbol on the floor of the Great Hall. He was far more concerned with his dear friend, a young woman who had probably wanted nothing more than to be safe and loved and home. Where was she now? Was she being kicked aside? Would she be okay? Was she being treated well? Could she talk about it? He looked forward to hugging her, and listening— he would be sure to listen to her.He couldn't quite tell in her letter, but there was something else there. Something different. Something that told him things would never be the same.

Severus couldn't remember how long he waited before he finally got up. He lay in his bed until her heat and warmth had dissipated and the sheets left him cold. They smelled like her, the faint fragrance of flowers—jasmine and vanilla and sandalwood remained, mixed with the unmistakable scent of their lovemaking.

When he finally pulled himself into the shower, he felt heavy— though he had slept remarkably well. He had felt rested until he awoke, and then dawn brought what he knew could not ever be.

'And why not?' he asked himself, turning on the shower.

'She is your student,' he could hear Albus say in his head.

Never before had he truly felt loved, and while it would have been easy for him to dismiss it, attributing it to her naiveté or the spell, he could not disregard her feelings. She had given a proper explanation for everything. Making love to him the way she had last night, so unrestrained and completely uninhibited, was explanation enough.

He rubbed his skin with soap, distracted by his thoughts. Closing his eyes, he faced the delicate spray— he could remember her gentle touches, slow and tender. She touched him beyond skin deep. How could he have said nothing this morning? She made it so easy for him to back out. He had been ruthlessly cold with his silence, preoccupied with his own fragile heart instead of her own tender feelings. And of the two of them, hers had been the voice of maturity. She brewed her own potion to buy her more time, to help her explain. When desire hit her she held it in rather than accosting him. She held nothing back and told him everything. He could not remember someone ever being so honest.

Severus beat his hands in outrage against the marble wall. Gods how he wanted her, he loved her and he was still paying for his time spent as Voldemort's servant. When would it end? He ran his hands through his hair and caught sight of the Mark. It was a greyish black which stood out sharply against his pasty skin in the shower. He ran his fingers over it, it didn't hurt at all. But of course, he hadn't been called recently.

In a younger day, Severus had his fair number of witches to bed—he could scarcely remember them now, they weren't that memorable. Of the women who had actually known a little of him— a very little of him, as Severus was loathe to share information with anyone— he felt those women had pitied him or at least he did not feel himself worthy enough to risk an emotional connection to such events, and risk a 'relationship.' That was long ago, and Severus saw little reason to persecute himself with purely physical encounters that left him feeling mostly unfulfilled.

Since the resurgence of the Dark Lord, Severus dared not entertain any woman, for he could be called at any moment or Merlin forbid—have yet another woman cry out in horror at the disgusting, black, cancerous skull which cursed the flesh on his left forearm. He had been quickly hexed more than once, but women who didn't curse him and instead approved of such a distinction left Severus uncertain of his decision to have them as bedmates.

He was waiting for Hermione's reaction, but it never came. She didn't appear offended, bothered by it, or even intrigued. Neither did she avoid it or linger over it. She accepted it as a part of him, kissing that part of skin like any other that night. The unconditional acceptance of him as he was, scars and all, was enormously humbling.

He shrank down the wall to the floor, his heart clenched but the tears wouldn't come. Right now she was probably sitting before Dumbledore, being interrogated. What would she do now? She had asked to take her NEWTS early. Then what? They hadn't talked about anything really. There was no talking. And for four months what he wanted most from her was to hear her speak her mind. They hadn't even done that.

This was his largest loss—it would have been easier to lose her if he knew he could never have her. But knowing now how she felt made it more difficult for him to find good reasons to keep his distance. There was a war. And he was doing his duty. Slumped against the shower wall, Severus wept in the downpour of water, drowning in his sorrow.

Ginny and Pansy met with Hermione outside of Dumbledore's office. They had waited for her, knowing that eventually she would need to go.

Hermione walked forward through the hall in a kind of trance, not really wanting to speak to anyone at the moment, but wanting even less for someone to bring 'the talk' to her doorstep. She had gone to the rooms Dumbledore had set aside, long enough to change into jeans and a white t-shirt. She wanted to get this over with. She put her shoulders back and took a deep breath, trying to put on a practiced face of confidence. It wasn't working.

Ginny smiled and hugged her. Then Pansy took her turn.

""Don't let him get to you," Pansy said. "All beard, no bite."

"Don't feel badly," Ginny said. "We had to see him 30 minutes after we consummated things. They tracked me down."

"Yeah, Snape stood outside of the Room of Requirement while Draco and I were taking care of things. I had to use my goddess to block the door."

Hermione's jaw dropped. She was having an easier time of it. "What prevented them from coming after me?"

"Ron and Harry went to Dumbledore after your letter and asked him to give you some space," Ginny said.

"Demanded is more like it…" Pansy corrected.

"Yeah…"

Hermione released a genuine smile of thanks. Her friends always had her back.

"Are you going to be okay?" Pansy asked quietly.

That was the big question. "Eventually. Yeah, I think I am." Her shoulders slumped a bit, and then she straightened again. Hermione remembered Sister Mary's words, and knew who walked with her. She would see Dumbledore, and then would see Harry and Ron. Then she would go to the Burrow, talk to her parents. Maybe go to St. Peter's and pray in the solitude of the Cathedral.

The stairs appeared and Hermione climbed them slowly, finally arriving at the archway to his office. Dumbledore sat behind his desk, quietly admiring her over his spectacles. He wore blue robes, and his eyes held puffy circles where his eyes usually looked merry. Tea and biscuits were on a plate in front of him, half nibbled.

Fawkes sat on his perch, and blinked at her with a beautiful regard. It gave her a feeling of peace.

"Good morning, Professor."

"Miss Granger, please have a seat. Lemon drop?"

"No thank you, sir." She took a seat in a straight back chair with a plump cushion on it.

Formal pleasantries seemed necessary after their last discussion. The air hung for a few moments and she waited for Dumbledore to begin.

"Well then. I have had a bit of time to think about what happened over the last nine months and the rather eloquent things you said to me yesterday evening."

Hermione blanched—she was more forward then than she would have been today.

"I deeply regret that I did not tell you what I told the other members of the SOS in January… of how proud I am of the efforts you made and your sacrifices so that Hogwarts and its students could be safe. Pansy told me of the book you used and of the "fine print" as it were. I'm sure you didn't expect to be thrust into such a complicated mess of things. I am not sure how I would have handled things in your place."

"Thank you, sir." Hermione sighed and settled a little more comfortably in her chair, which creaked as she shifted her weight. He was making an effort to make her feel welcome and appreciated, and it was working.

"I spoke to the Minister of Magic at length—there will not be any charges brought against you."

Hermione's lips parted and racked her brain. Then her brow furrowed— "What laws did they think I broke?" she asked defensively.

Dumbledore smiled. That's the spirit. "Well, it seems that Cornelius had concerns about underage magic. I, of course, reminded him that you are nearly nineteen already. Then he mentioned that you were a student practicing magic outside of school. Then I kindly explained that you were no longer a student here, since you didn't return for spring term. Also, my understanding is that all of the magic you practiced, happened whilst you were in the caves. Is that correct?"

"Yes, sir." Technically she was on school grounds for most. Except that bit of magic with Severus' wand.

Dumbledore noticed her thoughtful gaze with suspicion and said nothing.

"Of course the Ministry claimed to have seen you during those months when it was quite impossible. The Daily Prophet ran a story about you being on holiday or some nonsense so they could justify ending the Ministry supported search for you, in the magical world at least. I believe if they wanted to pursue this matter further, they would find themselves caught in embarrassing lies, not too happy to hear your version of events made public."

She reckoned they wouldn't want to hear about Malfoy either, and if she talked about him she may be made to divulge Victor's affiliation. Avoiding an inquiry appeared to be mutually beneficial for everyone. She thought a moment, "But sir, what about the portkeys?" They used portkeys in front of the entire class. Luna charmed a locket in the cave after the spell.

"What portkeys? Portkeys can't be used on Hogwarts grounds. I'm sure you own a copy of Hogwarts: A History." Dumbledore said with a smile. He blinked.

Dumbledore was a shrewd and calculated wizard for someone sorted into Gryffindor. If Hermione ever need legal representation, she knew who to call on.

"Since charges are not being brought against you, do you still wish to take your NEWTS early?"

Hermione face became long and serious. NEWTS meant leaving Hogwarts. "Yes, sir."

Dumbledore's beard rose and sunk further into his robes with his deep respiration and sigh. It would be a loss for everyone. Harry, Ron, the rest of her classmates.. not to mention most of the staff. Severus. He rested his teacup on it's saucer and looked at her thoughtfully. "I am sorry to hear you say that, Miss Granger. You are a very brave, intelligent and stubborn young woman. All excellent traits for a grown witch to possess. I have no doubt you will do very well on your NEWTS and whatever career you choose to pursue. Though, I think that a career in Ministry service is out."

Hermione snorted. "No big loss there. That wouldn't be a good fit for me."

"After you graduate, I would very much like to see more of you at the summer place," he said with a twinkle, indicating Order membership.

"Anything I can do to help." Hermione smiled. She had something to look forward to, to be useful. But he would be there. Would she be ready?

Dumbledore steepled his fingers in front of him and gazed at her changing expression. "What do you plan on doing?"

"I have a few job leads. But I could always bartend." She looked around nervously at his odds and ends. She was stalling.

Dumbledore smiled and knew she was joking. He had been tiptoeing around the issue of Severus and she knew it. The air was heavy with the unspoken subject.

"Hermione, I know you may feel this is none of my business. But are you leaving school for any other reasons other than being ready to take your NEWTS?"

She looked away from his gaze. "I can't stay. It would be… inappropriate for me. I-I don't want to make it difficult for him. It's why I left. He's too…" she swallowed. "He has too much integrity to have a relationship with a student. And probably too dangerous for him besides."

Dumbledore deduced who Hermione's object of desire was when Katie Renou was caught exiting Hogwarts via the dungeons. That, and Dobby confessed to helping her enter unnoticed per Miss Granger. Ms. Renou had been extremely surprised that she had been discovered and her own look was very telling. Precisely, he could deduce what she was not telling. He was so angry that Hermione was being bedded by a man, one of his staff no less, and one so much older than her. But that was until the shock wore off, and had a long talk with Minerva. The wards had to be raised though, and Ron and Harry had separately come to him to request that he give her space. Actually they were more along the lines of, "you had better give her some time or else." Why couldn't he give her more credit? Hermione was a grown witch, far more mature than many of her classmates. It wasn't as if Severus was taking Hermione against her will. Dumbledore had spent the better part of the evening sulking, and afterwards he could more calmly evaluate all of the circumstances. She chose Severus. She was in love with him, left Hogwarts to protect him. No wonder she left. And Severus had been none the wiser. But even over the course of the year he could see how Severus' regard had changed toward her. They would not of course, be able to continue on. Both of them could certainly agree that a relationship wouldn't be in either of their best interests for the safety of either of them. Somehow, that thought didn't sit well with him.

Hermione took a deep shuddering breath, getting the frightening questions off her chest she had meant to discuss with Severus, and directing them to Dumbledore like an angry wind.

"How is he going to hide from Voldemort? He's going to see. He's going to find out that I blessed him and then…" She couldn't finish the sentence, 'he'll kill him.' Hermione took another deep breath, trying to calm herself and get up her nerve. "How can you let him keep going there? Hasn't he done enough?!"

Dumbledore aged ten years before her. "Ah, Hermione. War is so difficult. So many sacrifices have been made…"

"Don't talk to me about sacrifice! I know war is difficult. He's already sacrificed enough! He couldn't accept that I—that anyone could love him. I worry about him constantly! At least Draco got out, as it is—and Goyle's stuck—probably thinks he doesn't have an out. And … you know I just cannot believe you!" Hermione was fully furious now, her hands clenched in tight fists, pacing the room like Harry once had.

"Believe what?" Dumbledore was at a loss.

"Victor Krum. Don't tell me you don't know."

Dumbledore stared blankly at her, waiting for her to fill in the gaps.

"Victor and some other Death Eater named Hawkley were the ones who kidnapped me in the back of the church. Don't deny it, I saw it in his eyes. He hesitated leaving me. He had an affiliation with the 'summer home' does he not?"

Dumbledore nodded slightly, his look said it all. That Hermione could discover his allegiances at all was very dangerous business. The knowledge of his membership was very secret and he did not attend Order meetings, but passed information through Severus.

Hermione saw the fear there. She leaned forward slightly. "I will not and have not told a single soul. I won't tell Harry or Ron, not anyone. But I swear, if I had my wand I would cover you in hexes. I already worry enough about…" Hermione stopped short and held her face in her hands.

"There, there Miss Granger." Dumbledore rose from behind his great desk to sit beside the young woman and comfort her.

How were they going to survive this? Everyone around her was submerged in the fight against Voldemort. Ron, Harry, Ginny, Pansy, Melanie, Kendra, all of the Order… Her mind raced with all of the unanswered questions and worry. She sobbed out her fears on Dumbledore's blue cloak.

He knew all too well, her sentiment. His room became a blurry, watery haze as he wondered, how indeed they were going to manage.

Authors Note:

Have you ever seen the dark brown or black, bushy, kinky, curly/wavy hair of Spanish women? When it's down and hanging around their soldiers? Great example, Brazilian actress Sonia Braga. Remember when she played Mrs. Westlake on The Cosby Show? Beautiful, long, huge bushy hair. Of course, it was the 80's.

My God, it must horrible to live with the responsibility of that hair, but whenever I see it, I just think… how beautiful is that?

Many thanks to Keket Amunet for being a fabulously thorough beta through her busy schedule, and finding somewhere to pencil this in. the big lesson for me is 'show emotion, don't tell.' That's pretty hard for me y'all, but I'm working on it! I have to give her full credit for the scene where Snape looks at the cover seal for the first time, and drops the whiskey glass. She also helps with several beautiful little details that develop the story. Where would I be without her?

Huge big thanks to XxphenixX who helped to correct my atrocious Latin incantations in earlier chapters. I am working to correct them as we speak. I am making an effort to upload them before this next chapter. Thank you, thank you, thank you XxphenixX!

Sorry you guys, kinda had a movie quote-a-thon going. I found it humorous for Hermione to jibe Lucius Malfoy when she finally remembered her Latin. Many thanks to XxPhenixX! From the Fifth Element. 'never without my permission' was translated into Nunquam sine meo concessu' rather than Lelu's 'holy language' Hee.

Also please see Monsieur Ibraheim. I highly recommend this beautiful, poignant movie about a 16-year-old boy who befriends a Sufi grocer (played by Omar Sharif) with unique wisdom to impart from his own faith. One of the direct quotes from the movie, "Your love is yours. It belongs to you. She rejects it, but she cannot destroy it. What you give Momo, is yours for good. What you keep is lost forever." You will not be disappointed. I modified this for Sister Mary to use, but give full credit to writers François Dupeyron, and Eric-Emmanuel Schmitt.

I love jeans… I love jeans… Ooooh— but I hate closed spaces… I hate closed spaces…. This of course is a tribute to one of my favorite feel good movies, which I have watched almost as much as Star Wars (and that's a lot y'all). Goonies: Chunk gets free from his kidnappers and in in the forest saying, "I'm not afraid of the dark. I love the dark. But I hate nature, I hate nature!"

Finally lemons, and I did tone it down a bit, though once I finish posting on ashwinder I'll let you know. I've read a fair amount of lemons on and this still seems in line. If some of you feel I have crossed it, PLEASE E-MAIL ME. Ugh. I will edit again and reload, I swear.

otakuannie- Thank you for your review. I've enjoyed writing it. I don't know as much about poetry as I'd like and as much as High School sucked, the advanced English part was fun. I really miss that and the creativity of my peers in class. Egads! That was years and years ago! I think I might have referenced a book where Louise Labe's poems were referenced. A Book of Women Poets from Antiquity to Now. So worth picking up.

Laicamiel Thank you! I do try to leave hints here and there, if only to remind myself what to say! I'm glad you find it suspenseful and finally here our somewhat reunited couple is. More soon!

Antagonist Len- Hey Helen! I love Billy Joel. But lately Earth Wind and Fire has been running in my head, along with John Barry, Janet Jackson and Annie Lennox. Oh, and Alicia Keys. Can't make up my mind. They're all good! Here's your update!

irish-princess- Thank you! Don't stop now!

Lyress Lyress sweetie! If you have probs lemme know. It'll be a long time before I get all chaps up on Ashwinder. Thank you so much. Draco is a good character. I love him bad, but deep down when I see and read him I see someone who is totally insecure with himself. He needed a way out. And Snape can look at what he did (as well as Goyle) and envy him. I like the witch/nun. I think it would be fascinating to have to resolve such a conflict with one's faith and one's gifts. Snape could save her yes, but she saves herself. I guess there is still a part of Hemrione that could be saved, if Snape chooses. Thank you for your continued support, as always!

Indigo Jez- Oh my God, 7 am! You have reached an all time ridiculous level. The latest I could stay up was 5:30am. That was last night. Oh jeez, and your computer froze? I hate that. I've been plowing my way through the rest of the fic. At least the second half is betaed. There are still a few typos I noticed when reading on Lately I changed my font at home to Arial just so I could read better. Tahkn you for your review!

jean jellybean- Thank you very much! I'm not a professional writer, but as much time as I'm spending on fan fic, my husband is begging me to take it seriously. Honestly, you reviewers have given me so much encouragement to continue I really have to thank you. I enjoyed reading others fics as much as I do writing my own. Thank you for reading. And thanks for encouraging my 'flow' Bai!

AK-Siren- Ola me-hah (hahaha) I tried to spell it and I can't. Mi'ja… something. Ask franflutewitch! Thank you. I believe the requiem I was thinking of it Fauere's Requiem, but alas I didn't look at the score when I wrote it. It's surely SABT, and not sung by an all women's choir, no matter what ranges they have. Oh, and the second piece is a duet, SA written by Thank you.

VioletFemme19- Thank you so much for reading. I'm glad you found the rec on WIKTT (though I was recently unable to log in myself- ugh! Crys pitifully ). I really enjoyed writing this. I had the idea for the pentacle and the spell in the Great Hall and the whole fic, developed out of that one idea. I'm glad you find the characters personalities true, though I wish I could make our dear Slytherins just a little more acidic and contemptuous of others. Glad yu like the twists and turns. Sometimes I don't see them that way (I guess that's because I know what happens next, or because I have no logical thought process! Hee.)

MorningStar81- Thank you, I love fics with strong female figures at the center of them. Even though Harry is our hero, I think Rowling does a fabulous job of making Hermione seem strong enough to handle things on her own. She's not the helpless sidekick, comic relief, would-be-girlfriend. I love it.

Beatrice- Thank you! I was up until at least 4am writing this last chapter.

Infinite13- I am wicked. Thank you for the complement. Here you go!

Al- I'm writing as fast as I can. I hope you continue to enjoy!

JennThank you, I'm so glad you think so. Don't fall out of your chair now, I'll post the next chapter as soon as I can!

Queenanneus- Eek! I'm so glad you joined us! See it's not so bad… virginity, song, sisterhood, and a touch of faith. Have a little bit more and the next chapter will come.

Arysta- Thank you, and I got your long chapter right here!

XxphenixXThank you thank you Latin goddess of linguistics for everything. I know I e-mailed you, but since you reviewed, I will make a public announcement to everyone that I have no Latin background. None. Nada. Nyet. Hee. M pretend Latin is from the web and I couldn't translate, conjugate, butcher… to save my life, so I asked you! Thank you again! Here is another juicy chaptah!

Syco Callie- LOL. You sound like a poorly dubbed Chinese kung-fu movie. And Snape an animagus who sees her in the forest? Could you imagine the cauldron scene? Damn. Things would've been consummated right there. I'm glad you like the way I wrote Hermione. And thank God I've never had the experience to be in love with someone who doesn't love me back/ or know I exist. I have had my fair share of long celibate periods however. It's agonizing. The only way I can identify with Hermione is that she's a good girl who does the right thing most of the time. That's frustrating. Thank you for reading.

Simply Scribbling- Throttle me please. His Goddess didn't kick in. She would've given him away. At least he still has her for some measure of protection. The next chapter is coming ASAIWI (As Soon As I Write It). Thank you for the review, and thank you for staying with me!

Stellar Snape- Yeah, you know I was really attempted to let them go further. Can you imagine if Hermione called Severus name out instead of Jason's? Phfew! Thank you, and did this chapter clear the air? This is the last call for plot suggestions folks, cause I'm wrapping up!

mione drac opal- A wand is sooo much better don't cha think? And I've never attended a Catholic school, but I've heard that really does happen. Thank you for reading, here's the next chappie!

AngelofTears- Glad you like the story and here's the next chapter. Thank you so much for the review, but better than all the books put together? Eek! I'm sorry J.K., she didn't mean it! Please continue writing the sixth book… please!

Franflutewitch- Hey sweetie! I got booted off yahoo, don't know why yet grrrr Thank you for your review! I like Sister Mary too. The nuns at the hospital are just wonderful people to work beside. Hopefully you won't have to wait much longer for this chapter. Ugh! I can't stand not knowing what's happening on WIKTT!!! Oh, have my answer. I may have omitted to answer an age question in the profile and have created a new account.

The Eight Weasley- I had to iron my hands. I'm sorry. No more cliffies! Thank you! And I feel for you. I only have to be at work by 8:30am. I live an hour away and take the bus, at least I get to sleep on the way. It makes up for late night reading and writing!

MizThank you, and yes I can put them through more. Just a little. Thank you for reading.

heartnutWow, you are a very fast reader! Thank you so much by the way, for pushing my fic. I'm flattered. June Williams made a request for a full document copy, and I will try. Oh my God, your Father? I can scarcely even mention what I'm doing to my own family and I'm 34. Eek, maybe you should tear out the part with lemons. Hope you enjoy it sir. And since your dad reads… has he read all the Harry Potter books? See, most people can't understand how this would be so intriguing. I became hooked after searching for speculation on-line about Book 6 from people who knew enough to make intelligent guesses based on cannon. I had an itch to write and blam-oh… here I be!

I'm proud of your efforts with the Silver Ring thing and I visited their website. I do believe virginity/abstinence can be a powerful thing, the strength of personal resolve in one's mind to clear it for other productive activities. There are so many other ways to be close to someone, and in my experience early sexual activity can shorten a relationship instead of develop it. I work in a hospital with pregnant and delivering women, and I must say, I meet far too many women with regrets. (stepping off soapbox)

I certainly hope you are not disappointed with the lemons in this chapter, which were bound to happen. As a younger woman, I was far more content to read provocative literature occasionally than to risk serious regrets and the consequences that go with them. Good luck to you and thank you for reading and reviewing!

HazyDayClearNightThank you for your review! I'm glad Sister Mary and Hermione's visit to the church was unexpected. How about the lust potion? That was too cruel.

Althea Grey- Thank you! I'm glad you like the trouble. She excels at that!

MxS Rose Thank you for your enthusiasm, and I hope you like the above chapter. Ergh! Now I have to start over on Chap 24. More soon!

ShelliesnapeEveryone else be clueless. Until now. Even Snape didn't know or believe it until he saw her standing. Right now as I type, I'm listening to 'Everytime We Say Goodbye'. So sad. Don't know how, or if Harry and Draco and Ron will find out soon. Hermione didn't even share with Pansy. More soon… I gotta figure out the rest of this… Thank you for your review!

Steph2bwld- Thanks for the info about Gaia. Cool. Could I have Gaia blast the Death Eaters? Hmm… Was is good enough I hope? I always thought the goddesses presence was imposing enough, though I'm sure she could almost do anything she wanted! Oh.. and when I wrote something exploded inside of Snape at that moment, when she was in the mirror ready to hurt herself… Snape was the one doing the magic, not Gaia. He beat her to the punch so to speak so that he could save that magic for another time. Gaia's own worried energy confirmed Snape's fear for Hermione's safety. It's hard to know why Gaia emerges at some times and not others. I imagine Hermione knows what she can handle and not, I think that's why Gaia waited until the last possible moment to strike. When all hope was lost. Severus' Gaia would not betray him to the danger surrounding him. She knew that would put him in jeopardy and thus the spell. And thank you for your conclusion about Hermione's portkey, taking the Death Eaters with her. I wrote it in for you, you know! Wink!

Strawberry22- Haha! Dude! You were so right! I was laughing so hard when I read your review. I tried to research the Pensieve somewhat, and I guess I always assumed that removing thoughts form your mind so that you could see them more clearly and observe them objectively was pretty literally removing them from your brain so that you could prevent others from reading your mind (like when Harry goes to Occlumency lessons). I would assume that would mean they would need to be put back, as it were, I'll keep looking. Thanks for your two cents! I love a challenge! And thanks for your continued support, it means a lot to me.

RommBut of course. More soon! Thank you for reading and reviewing. You've been in for the long haul!

Tiffie101- Thank you, and I like her as a character. Sorry I didn't develop hers and Dumbledore's relationship more. I think she has a serenity about her that Dumbledore has always longed for, and perhaps he has always been pretty sorrowful that she left the wizarding world.

Demon Sorceress- S'up babes? Thanks and here's the next one.

excessivelyperkyLovin da lemonade yet? Kinda tart though in the end, Whew. Damn that took a long time to write. I got fevah. Thank you! On to the next chapter.

Vasquez1987- Ah, I could write a rape scene into the mix. Besides, if Hermione unleashed any passion in the Death Eater lair, damn. Severus would have been SOL, claw marks up the back, Gaia all over the place and when done they would have been tragically murdered to death. That's not much of an ending for our lovers is it? Thank you! Now to work on the ever after…

Shauna- Thank you, me too. Draco needs some peace and direction.

RheinelTotally his own. Hermione doesn't know that though until she talks with Pansy later. Since the Yule ball, all of the women have their own mojo only, though I am sure Hermione is a nuclear reactor of pheromones. Thank you for reading!

Min Hee- Thank you. It's hard not to be attracted to those Slytherin men. And I like the Slytherin girls in this. I wish that I could write them as a bit more underhanded and devious though. Go Millie. Girl power.

The Perfectionist- I am continuing! Here you go! Thanks for R&Ring.

Luna Writer- Yeppers. Thank you for the review, and hope you liked Chapter 23.

Athena Linborn- You really knew? Hooray, but I so hate being predictable. Hope you like the next chapter, and thank you so much for reading (and reveiewing!)

Hermiayup. Lucius does.. try… doesn't he? Wall of Desire rocks! Poor duo… doesn't figure it out. Haven't quiet figured out their reactions yet, IF she tells them who it is. Will have to catch up on some reading to keep it in cannon.

Bunnybee- Eek, not a Bible! Blasphemy! I'm glad you enjoy it, but the content is a complete derailment form anything scared, especially in this chapter. I'm glad you cry and scream and pull your hair out! Hooray! I did my job! Yup. It is Krum. Thank you so much for your complements and support. Onto the next chapter! type… peck… peck…

Stargazer starluver- Glad you enjoyed it and caught up! Thank you for your review.

Nakash Mekashefah- Thank you! Hope you like the new chapter, and as we close soon— I would like to give you my gratitude for you (and all of the readers) continued support. Have a great day!

June Williams- I love knocking out Lucius Malfoy. Did it in the Burden of Sight too. Shame he wasn't knocked unconscious. Wait. Yes he was. Grin Poisoned in the middle of the Great hall! I'm dying to write another chapter where Melanie and Millie can use their leftover darts for some needed revenge on Malfoy for Kendra. Sadly, there is no time and plot to drive it. I will think about the single document idea. Oh my God, how large would that file be? I thank you for your reviews!

crissy - Oh no… what to do? The end of another chapter. Hopefully it won't take me as long to write the next one.

Kylara- Stupid spam. I will try and remember to e-mail you! Oh… I'm glad you weren't expecting that! But where would any fic be without a good Death Eater capture and Voldemort? Hope you like the new chapter, cuz it be long. Wow, the only story for SS/HG?

I'll have to recommend some then. My current favorites are Somewhere I Have Never Travelled (on Adult fan fiction and Ashwinder) and Arithmancy for Muggles (so lovin that one). You may also like Pas de Deux, different and a WIKTT challenge. All can be found on Ashwinder. So many more also, what about Cloak of Courage? (ROCK!)

wackoramaco87- Jason! Frank? Oh my God no! Both Muggles. They were both nice. Victor… you know crooked nose, Bulgarian Quidditch player… Capricorn… Victor! Haha! Glad you liked the chapter, and hope you like this one too. Dang, it's getting hard to write. One more chapta left and an epilogue prob-ly. Thank you, thank you for stickin' by me! I'll try my best to have SOS show up in the end.

Saturngurl123- Thank you! Draco needed to be put on the spot. I'm glad you liked the runes on the doorframe. I'm almost sorry I didn't have her do it in the cave too. Now now, about the hair… I have to squeeze that conversation in somehow… perhaps Chap 24?

poetrychik- Eee, I hope this chapter is better than the last too. So much pressure. Severus is much closer to Hermione now, hope you liked… and now the distance between them is a cavern. And there had to be some way for Sister Mary to see through Snape. I like it that she knew about him since the previous year and didn't tell. Keeping confidences is a good gift to have.

Tycho- Thank you for your review, and I hope the tension and anticipation kept building to a pleasurable point. Argh. Now they have to start over. What is poor Hermione to do? She still has those dreaded conversations coming up. Poor Snape. Now they've switched places. More soon! Stay tuned, and thank you so much for hanging on. Hope you like the lemons, this was hard (ahem.. I mean difficult) for me to write this from a man's POV.

Nocturnas- Let the tension continue!I hope. They at least blew off some steam. Smile Thank you for the review. On to Chap 24!

artemisgirl- Sorry for the quasievil cliffie! And yes, Victor… Gaia did pull through in the end, though she brought herself to the fore to protect Hermione.

Wytil- Victor is in over his head as it is. And in my fics, Hermione always has a chance. Thanks for reviewing!

hpz26- Thank you, and hey, at least she's no longer so desperate. I'm not sure she'd call it an improvement though. Now that she has to leave. Stay tuned!!!

MissCrystalix- Women rock don't they? No more evil cliffys, Though I'm still kinda leaving you hanging hunh?

Bad Bugz- This chapter of course! See by the time your question is answered you know it before you read the review responses! And I hope three weeks wasn't too long. It took me a week at least to break though the writer's block of this last scene, though the first half was written for quiet a while. And thanks for liking our dear Sister. I work in a Catholic hospital and the tranquility and serene clarity of many of the nuns that I meet is some of the most calming reassuring 'magic' I've ever seen.

Shabopo- Still breathing? I love Snape's character too, and I hope it continues to show here. He usually always knows what to sya and now that he's faced with the object of his desires, he doesn't know how to respond (at least in words). I hope you love him next chapter. Perhaps one more and a epilogue at this point.

Not as elegant? (Hee, sorry to disappoint, and I see your point.) Sister Mary is a nun through and through. She still got advice from the nun and not the witch. Her witch days are mostly behind her, and her talents remain a secret. At first I made her a muggle, and then I liked her, and then I thought of a dove comforting Hermione and then I had the animagus idea. Thank you for your reviews! And your frank honesty about what you like and don't like. Gracias!

Ezmerelda What's up? So close to the end now! So much faith in Severus. He has to go get her of course, not that she needed rescuing. But whatever makes him feel all chivalrous to balance out the typical cold snarkiness that is our sexy potions master!

Pandora Nervosa- Ooh, I'm glad you thought so, because it so totally could've happened. I like Jason's character. I imagine him to be as sexy as I see Ben Kingsley. God, don't you just love him? Maybe it's just me. Anyway I think he's cute, in a far older more distinguished sort of way. Happy napping, cause after this long chapter you're probably needing one. I fell asleep three times while writing it. Of course, it was 5 am.

Rachel diego - It took me a while, but at least we... um I mean Hermione, ahem… gets to have Snape!

kawaiililkitten-- No cliffie now, but I bet you are still wondering what is going to happen! Haha!