SHJ Ten Year Reunion

by Kaeru Shisho

The fourth story in the Seyruun High Jinx series chronicling the Slayers band's beginnings to their romantic culmination. Story complete December, 2004.

21. Makeup, Breakup: Return to the Ten Year ...

- SEYRUUN HIGH JINX -- 10 year Reunion Story –-2004-11

"Affection is responsible for nine-tenths of whatever solid and durable happiness there is in our lives." – C. S. Lewis

Chapter Twenty-one: Makeup, Breakup: Return to the Ten Year Reunion

"There are some occasions when a man must tell half his secret, in order to conceal the rest."- Lord Chesterfield

---

Well, that last chapter had to satisfy even Filia's requirements for romance, right? So, now I can move along with the story. Oh, I'll put plenty of the 'good' stuff in as well. Don'tcha worry!

While Val and I now knew where we stood, which was pretty firm ground, we also understood where we fit into the lives of Filia and Xelloss. Xelloss, he knew, was still and forever would be, in my heart, just like I knew that Filia would always be special to Val. So strong were our feelings that we couldn't just go on with our lives, our romance, without Xelloss and Filia being happy and together as well. Zel and Amelia both were on the same track: save Filia and Xelloss.

"The only one who has any hope of getting through to Filia, is you, Val," I told him one day. "Luna's no help at all."

"Yeah, I'm not so sure she wants to see my face. Not if it reminds her of the band."

"But it will also take her back to some good times, right? It's possible? The two of you had your own little world out there at the settlement; maybe you should start with that. Draw her out. She's gotta need a friendly face sooner or later, and mine is not going to be acceptable."

So he agreed. I told Zel I could convince Val to help and he was relieved not to be the one to do the convincing, heh, heh. I wasn't sure, though, that he wasn't beginning to read something into my improved attitude and eagerness to be the Val-go-between. I was going to miss Val terribly, but I was secure in his love for me. He just said he'd be faithful, and I believed him.

"I'll give it a week and if Fil's comin' 'round, I'll stay, if not, then...well...I'll give ya a call."

A kiss promising his quick return, and Val was off on his crusade to return Filia to the Slayers fold. Luckily, he made progress. I think he was surprised at his success considering the depth of her grief over her breakup with Xelloss. He came into town to see me and keep me posted a few times. Still, I was somewhat forlorn and neglected-feeling.

Oh, and he stopped spiking his hair. Yeah, that's right. He also got Milgasia to get him clan medical help removing the studs and healing the openings on his face. I am not kidding! He had Filia cut his hair, shortening it so it just brushed his shoulders. Then they went shopping together to buy him some 'not black with holes or metal' clothes. I guess it took her mind off her problems. He explained to me later that it was his symbolic way of demonstrating that with my love strengthening him, he no longer needed to protect himself from the world alone. That he was tough without the hardware. Okay. He did all those changes over a period of a few months so I saw it as a gradual change. Still... I liked him anyway, but it was kinda weird seeing him so handsome with a gentler touch. And I had to believe that it was due to me; he hadn't done it for Filia when he had the chance and her influence before.

One day Amelia visited me, bubbling over with happiness. She and Zelgadiss had spent a truly wonderful summer together and ever since then she just knew that he was the one and only one for her. She was just plain ecstatic. I couldn't help but get caught up in her fevered excitement, having a fresh new love affair of my own. Up until that point Val and I had kept it under wraps, but it was getting harder and harder.

"Oh, I don't know how to explain it but..." she sighed happily then proceeded to do just that. "Zelgadiss was so funny the other night. We were stopping for a bite to eat and he noticed a scratch on his new car. I thought he might get really mad then go all dark and moody, you know..."

"Oh yeah, I know Zel and his moods too well. So what did he do?"

"He just shook his head and went on talking where he'd left off. Like it was nothing!" Amelia seemed to be amazed by this discovery.

"It was nothing," I muttered. "Glad to hear he's learning to deal with life's little disappointments with mature calm and equanimity. So tell me more about how my ole bud is shaping up in the boyfriend department."

Amelia blushed. "Well, he has the most sensitive ears..."

"Yeah, yeah, so what's new about that?" I watched her smile grow and then I understood what she was talking about, and it wasn't his acute hearing. "Ohhhh...kaaaay... so tell me about...Kiki," I said quickly changing the topic amid Amelia's laughter.

When winter arrived, I decided to do something unselfish for Val to send him a strong message. I wanted him to know that I loved him and that I cared about him and what mattered to him. I remembered our rustic cabin in the high desert of the Ancient Clan lands. One call later, and one enthusiastic contractor from the monument project was hired. Unfortunately, the planning stage was as far as he would be able to go until the weather improved, sometime in late spring. That was okay, though. Val and I couldn't use it until summer anyway.

One cold, rainy day, Amelia told us all of her choice to take the job in Sairaag. Zel was still there and I could tell that that was the most important part in her decision-making process. I was very pleased for her personally and for her and Zel taking a serious stab at a relationship, a grown up one. I think Amelia and I bonded more closely than ever just then. I disclosed that I had fallen in love and that I would tell her about it...when I was ready.

"Oh you and Val are just perfect together!" she giggled.

"Huh? H-how did you...? What makes you think it's Val? I mean... Oh, hell...yeah..." I eventually broke down and admitted the truth which she had already guessed.

"Oh, he just watches you like a hawk all the time, when he doesn't think you'll notice it. But I can tell he likes you lots. So, what's going on? Where is he?"

"He's...not around much. We like things that way, ya know. No strings attached so we're free to do stuff and not get in each other's way."

"He must still be out at the settlement, then. Zelgadiss told me you would get him to try and entice Filia back. But, Lina...what if he does? Are you okay with that? What if he and Filia ...you know, get back together?"

"Then that's the way it goes," I said. "Far be it from me to be the one to force him to be faithful."

"But then...Xelloss might come back. Oh, Lina! Do you think Xelloss is waiting for that ten year reunion promise? How romantic! He comes back to you after waiting ten long years, still in love and hoping that you are..."

"Amelia, for gods'sakes," I chuckled.

She started to laugh too, avoiding the possibility of turning that trend of thought into a more serious one. Amelia was thrilled to be my confident, and promised to tell no one about Val and me— even Zelgadiss; too many issues were at stake at the moment. Now I felt well fortified to fight off the wear and tear of uncertainty as the burden of secrecy was unloaded a little. The stress reduction was amazing. Why hadn't I shared that way sooner? Oh well, live and learn, as they say. And it was about time for me, because another crisis was about to descend upon me, along with the re-introduction of the chaos-kid into my life. Enter stage left, Xelloss, the person beyond logic, the singularity, both in terms of his uniqueness and his strangeness. His form of chaos tended to plow through the unimaginative yet utilitarian matters of life and leave a path of structural shambles in his wake.

Yeah, but at this particular juncture in the course of my life, I was so light-hearted that I missed the 'spatial shift' that occurs prior to one of Xelloss' re-entries into my life, and I forgot to knock on wood.

...Sigh...

After that string of turbulent seasons, I was anticipating an amenable spring to recover my strength and my band and to bring together all my friends again. Oh, and to get started on that cabin rebuilding project left on hold for months.

First, band and friends. I called and actually got a hold of Zel. He claimed that he was just about to call me. Yeah, right. I reminded him that in just a year, the next spring, it would be our 10 year reunion of the band and that we should plan something special. We should try and cut a CD in summer and promote it later and celebrate with a gigantic concert, at the very least. He agreed, if we could get Xelloss and Filia back.

"That's fine with me. Whatever you want, just make it late in June when the residency is on break."

"Just for you, I'll see what I can do." I was always happy to accommodate his every wish and demand.

"Thanks, Lina. And for that I'll share some breaking news with you."

See, he met my kindness with cruelty. "Oh, yeah? What's that?" I was expecting him to tell me about his romance with Amelia, so I was mentally unprepared for his next announcement.

"Xelloss is flying into Seyruun in...just about one hour he should be landing."

Oh yeah, I just bet he loved dropping that piece of news on me. The only thing that would have made it better for him would have been to be here so he could have gotten a good look at my face. "What! Xelloss! After, a year, huh? Well, its about time he made up with Filia and me."

"Ah, ha...well, he is bringing his wife."

"WHAT! A wife? He got married again?"

"That's right. Her name is..."

"I don't care. I'll just forget anyway. Geez...that's gonna spoil all our plans. Why'd he go and pull a stupid stunt like that again? When did you say he was coming in? Tonight?"

"I'm certain he'll be bringing her around to introduce her to everyone."

"I'll bet. Well, thanks for the warning... And...tell him to met here first. I'll collect the others."

"Anytime, bye Lina."

This time I'd be ready for anything. First of all, I'd have to warn Val and get him to meet us at my place. There wasn't much time to prepare. Why now? I wondered what made Xelloss choose now to return and on top of that, come back towing along some stinking new babe. Had he gone off the deep end for good?

Later, I found out the truth. Zelgadiss, of course had been pushing his own agenda with Xelloss and not told me. It was Zel who had urged Xelloss to return. It was Zel who had told him that Filia had found someone new. Zel had given him the go-ahead. See, Filia was hanging out with Val when Amelia had spotted them at the shopping mall. But as close as Filia and Val were, a budding romance was not happening. Val was mine, even though we hadn't seen each other in about two months.

At least, so I had assumed. I was mistrustful of some folks. Okay, most, but not Val. I couldn't believe that he would risk our future with a fling with Filia. Why? Because I was in love.

So that evening, Xelloss returned to Seyruun. I had everyone over to my house, everyone being me, Zel, Amelia, Gourry, Sylphiel, and Val, who had just entered the house after racing back from the settlement. Val looked tired, but good to me as he gave me a wink and a kiss on the cheek, which I hoped promised 'more later, babe.' He got himself a drink and was doing the rounds saying 'hi' to the others, when Zel straightened, "Limo just pulled up."

Kiki was first to walk in the door. She looked so pretty and happy. She had been visiting favorite places in France, and was pleased to have Xelloss accompany her back to Seyruun (where, I understood from Amelia, Kiki had a steady boyfriend waiting.)

Next, in stepped an emaciated girl of about 15 (sure she was 19 or 20, but she looked very young) with a pixie face and a terrified expression. Xelloss waltzed in and informed everyone that he had remarried some time ago and introduced us all to his wife, Shanna.

My gods, what was Xelloss thinking?

Val had moved into position behind me. I could hear him gasp a simple, 'shit...' and then felt his breath on my ear as he leaned in to whisper, "I told Filia I'd be back to tell her what's up, so I'm going now. She thinks you married Xelloss. I think you'd better call your sister and think about following out later. Love you."

I nodded curtly and watched him slide out the door with only a brief word to Shanna and Xelloss in passing. Val was right, I should call Luna and see if I could spend a couple days out at the settlement with her. I could see some serious fence mending was in order. I rushed down the hall and into my room for some privacy; although I figured everyone was probably thinking I was crying over Xelloss or something. Luna's line was busy on the first try, so I packed up a bag with a few things anyway. On the second try I got her.

"Yeah, I just got off the phone with Val, who called to say he was in route and that Xelloss was married. You coming out?"

"Can I stay with you?" I asked.

"Anytime, sis. I hope you and your friends can work out your problems."

"We will," I said with more optimism than I had any reason to have.

With my travel bag in one hand and a set of spare keys in the other, I pushed nosily out to meet my house-full of guests.

"Hey, guys! You can stay, but I gotta go. Emergency thing. Just lock up after yourselves, okay?"

I tossed Zel the keys, gave Xelloss a friendly punch on the shoulder, and I was out the door before anyone could stop me.

I had the entire, long, solitary drive to think about what is was I wanted to say, what I wanted to learn from Filia, and to digest my reactions to Xelloss. He had re-married? Ah, poor Filia. And to think all this time she'd been thinking he and I had gotten married. No wonder Filia had wanted nothing to do with me, she thought Xelloss and I had gotten married– what an imagination! Gods... I hope that Filia would listen to what I had to say now and forgive my role in messing up her life. Married, Xelloss, geez... The big question would be: would Filia want to return to the band now that Xelloss was remarried? Would he want to? I hadn't even said a word to him. Maybe he wasn't back to stay. I hadn't thought about that. How would the Slayers survive without him? And why in hell had he gone and married that little imp?

Yeah, all that and more was flogging my brain that night.

Val met Filia at the settlement to give her the news. He could be a sweet talker when he needed to be and I'm sure he broke the news to her as gently as possible. By the time I reached the gates to the settlement, my cell phone was ringing. I was to go straight to Filia's house, my sister said. She would be there and Milgasia was on his way as well.

Luna had thought it was time Filia gave up on Xelloss but demanded that she sit and hear everyone out. Filia learned from Milgasia about Xelloss' numerous attempts to join her clan and his repeated rejections... and that he had a deadline after which he'd give up. Val, who had been privy to my ideas, Zel's and even Amelia's was able to explain to Filia that when time had run out, Xelloss had made the move on me, in order to force Filia to break with him, so that she could have another chance to find the prefect mate. Val explained that Xelloss' choice to take a new wife was further proof that he meant for the split to be permanent, and that I had not been a player in his weird performance. I was totally unaware of what had been going on, just as Filia herself had been. If there was a problem, it was entirely due to Xelloss' irrational actions.

I mean, they all did such an excellent job, that when I finally pulled up, Filia drew me into a tearful hello, embracing her essential Slayer-ness. We had a nice little party out there, Val, Filia and me. She was so lonely and had missed us all 'dreadfully'. I told her about the plans for our upcoming 10 year reunion and she begged to come back! Yeah! She was ready to re-join the band and everything. One down, one to go was the way I saw it.

"But Fil, what about Xelloss? What if he comes back to the band too? Can ya deal with seein' him again?" Val asked.

"Well, I'll try. I can handle seeing your pretty face, so I think I can cope with his too," she smiled and ran her fingers along his rib cage.

I was glad to see her spirits high, but not her easy manner with Val. She was just too cozy around him for my comfort. Did she see him as a potential boyfriend again? Oh, that would be ripe! Just as I've found the guy for me, wouldn't you know that Filia would pounce and land on the same one? And he'd be ideal for her; he was clan, a friend, tall, attractive, smart, rich, edgy, poetic, and...hot. Okay, so he was absolutely perfect for me, since I did not require Xelloss' polish and sophistication, but probably the closest thing to perfection for her tastes.

If I dwelled on all that any longer, I would torment myself with self-doubt until I was crazy. Instead, I vowed to be a woman of action, and my first act was to steal Val away to his place. Just the two of us alone. There, we re-affirmed our love, recognizing the need to keep it low-profile so as not to make a sensitive situation blow out of control somehow. It wasn't as much as I wanted, that was for sure, but it was enough to tide me over.

Val, well, heh, heh...he wasn't as certain he could hold out much longer. He wanted me to come out to the settlement more often, and if I did, he would arrange more secret trysts. It was exciting, inventive, and when delivered in his particular, husky voice with that very Val intensity, well...it was very arousing, let's just say. I didn't think that I could hold him responsible for his behavior entirely around Filia if I didn't enlighten him as to where I stood on the matter and reassert my position. Okay, so having done that, I also knew that I had to get my competition firmly and completely out of the way, in the nicest of ways.

The next morning, I decided that I would pour all my brilliant and vast effort into the goal, which was: free Xelloss, make some clan somewhere adopt him somehow, and then get him back together with Filia. Sure, he'd tried to get into the clan before, Milgasia explained, but now he had Lina Inverse working for him. A very driven Lina Inverse. Oh, and all the while keep in mind that I had to retain possession of Val's heart and interest.

The first step was to make Xelloss return to the band. That was easily accomplished by a single phone call, placed by moi. I called him from Luna and Julian's place.

"Xelloss? Yeah, Lina here. Listen, I need the Slayers back in the studio and on the road this summer. We gotta cut a CD and do some promotional stuff before our grand 10 year reunion party next spring. This is all depending on there actually being a Slayers band to do this all with, which currently there is not, which gets me 'round to the point here."

"You need a drummer?"

"Well, yeah sorta. I got one of those, but what I really need is my unique and very special singing drummer. Pay's mediocre, hours are flexibly bad, lots of travel rarely in comfort, the best of company though, and usually the work's a blast...Think you're interested in the job? "

"You want me? Then of course, Lina, I'll fill the position. But, I have a special request of my own."

Gods, I hoped that he wasn't going to insist that I exclude Filia or something difficult like that. "Oh? And that is--?"

"That we move the timetable up for that reunion concert and we begin with a private party."

"Move it up to... how far up?"

"October."

"October! That's hardly more than six months away? I don't know if there's time to do everything that soon!"

"We left a nearly finished CD on the table in the production room. I think one more shot and we'd be done with it. We'd do a few jobs in summer and be ready. I'll pull a few strings and get us a large enough concert hall and the publicity."

"Better make it a really big place, Xelloss. I'm thinking REALLY big here."

"Naturally."

"And, ah... about your wife (to rhyme with strife)..."

"Lina, please. Don't...go there, okay?"

"Yeah, well, okay. Okay. You got your date, but tell me this..."

"Yes?"

"Why October? It won't even be 10 years at that point?"

"Why? Can't you guess? Oh, Lina... well... then...it's...a secret."

Did I ever say he was past the annoying part of his personality? Yeah? Well, I was wrong. He said I'd figure it all out sooner or later and laughed before hanging up. I had too much now to do and to think about to pay him any particular notice. Xelloss and his silly jokes. How I'd missed them and him; it was great having him back. It was great knowing the band was coming online! Time to spread the news!

I began with a call to Zel, "Filia's coming back, so's Xelloss. Band meeting Sunday, downtown studio. Oh, and our reunion party's been moved up to this coming October."

Prior to our first band practice since the breakup, Val arranged for Filia to meet with Xelloss and his new bride, in private out at the settlement. It was a terribly considerate thing for him to do. He picked the couple up downtown and drove them out to Filia's home, where he played the gracious host throughout their twenty minute meeting. Then, he drove them all back into town, dropping Shanna off at Xelloss' condo first. Then he drove Filia and Xelloss on to the studio for our band session.

During the practice break, Val and I snuck off for some private conversation.

"He's still got Fil on his mind. She was in the front passenger seat, with Xelloss in the back seat," Val began. " After Shanna got out, I was afraid Xelloss might fall apart. His eyes never left the back of her head."

"Whose head?"

Val gave me one of his perturbed sighs, "Your head! Nah, Fil's, Li. Like he was comparin' what he saw in real life to what his memories of her had been. Either that or tryin' to absorb her into his body through his eyes."

"Oh, yuck!"

Val chuckled and grinned. He loved to gross me out when he could.

"Well, I hope that was a good thing. Xelloss being stuck on Filia still, in spite of being married. I'm pretty encouraged by everyone's upbeat attitude today, you know, gathering for the first time under one roof. The practice is going better than I expected, under the circumstances."

Val agreed. "We better get back to work if we're gonna get that CD done in a single afternoon, which is all the time Zel has to spare us."

"Yeah, Doctor Busy."

I loved all my friends, the band, the togetherness. I was more relaxed around Xelloss than I had expected. I had missed him. Knowing that made me smile. Boy, when I first met him years ago I thought he was a quirky guy. It had annoyed me how he started hitting on me with irregularity. I was just uninterested in romance crap of any kind. Gourry knew how to give me space, as did good old Zel, although Zel was so self conscious I couldn't stand being around him sometimes. Val tried to intimidate me and impress me, but I could tell that he was mostly bluster. Take away his need to posture and he became a caring, sensitive guy. His tough-dude persona served to protect his inner self. Now that I knew him, I liked both sides of him, being a tough and sensitive kinda girl myself.

"I hope that smile's for me, not Zel," Val whispered into my ear and breaking my trance.

"Huh?"

"Just another dude I had ta watch my step around."

"What are you talking about?"

"You guys were so close. Practically at the mind reading stage. He an' I more than once nearly got in a fight over you. That was that first year, just before the band started. He was very protective of his Lii-na friend. Didn't want the big, bad wolf to getcha."

I clipped Val alongside the head for that one. "You mean he was trying to getcher paws off of me, well, that was for your own protection. Of course Zel admired me. Everyone did at one time or another, but it was never more than that, and you know it so stop teasing."

"Or...you'll...what?"

"I'll pound you into dreamland."

"No ya won't, but you might try to squirm outta my arms..." he grinned as he tightened them around me and began kissing whatever skin he could touch.

"I could, ya know," I said, wishing that it was true but knowing that I hadn't the strength of will to part from him violently.

"Yeah...sure...dream on, babe."

"Yeah, dreaming about you, Val," I said with a roll of my eyes.

"Dreamin'? Well, how 'bout we stay at the hotel downtown tonight and dream together?"

"Okay..." I loved it when he'd go all romantic on me like that. "Back to work then!"

Thankfully, the following band practices went as well at the first, but that was because of all my effort! I was left exhausted by the effort of keeping it all together and keeping the mood surrounding the band conducive to work. But it was worth it. The band was in top form and the practices passed without a hitch.

It was half a job just trying to avoid noticing Xelloss eat away at his soul each time he'd flicker his gaze over Filia. The yearning in his expression was heartbreaking. Val pressed a note into my hand near the close of one practice. He hovered nearby so I figured he wanted me to read it and was waiting for my reply.

"Tonight?" it read. That was all. Of course, that was enough sometimes. That Val could sense my need was amazing to me, and appreciated deeply.

I blushed and raised my eyes to catch his a moment.

He laughed and shook his head.

I was really spacing out, when a gentle voice summoned my brain to attend, "Lina? Would you like me to call the usual places, you know, to make those contacts for jobs you do?" Sylphiel asked. "I know you have a lot on your mind and the teaching and all and I have help with the kids at home, so I'd like to help, if I may."

I was floored. "Yes!" I shouted when the ability to speak returned. "May the gods bless you with eternal beauty! Yes, thanks Sylphiel. I'll get you those numbers. They're in a file at my office. I'll just swing by your house and drop'em off. That way I can see how much bigger those little buggers of yours and Gourry's are getting."

She glowed with joy. I think that was the first time I had mentioned both her and her children and Gourry in the same breath. As it I'd never admitted he and she had produced any. Well, it hadn't struck me as important before. Anyway, relieved of that burden, I drove home, riding on a cloud of Val-eu-phoria.

Naturally, that wasn't about to last long.

I needed to change my clothes, pack a tooth brush, meet Val...did I have time for a shower too, I wondered, no, but...was that the door bell? Surely Val wasn't stopping by to pick me up.

I rushed from the bathroom to get the front door, "What? Xelloss? What are you doing here?"

"I need to talk. May I come in?"

"No, I mean, just for a minute while I change my clothes. I was just on my way out."

"Hot date?"

"You bet. Now, spill it. You have...two minutes."

"I need longer than that, Lina."

"Okay, but not tonight." I willed myself not to meet his eyes with my own. Don't look, don't look...

"Your appointment, it's really that important that it can't wait, say, an hour?"

"That's right, Xelloss. It can't, he can't and I can't. Listen, I'll get Zel to meet you and if that doesn't pan out, come see me tomorrow about...4:00 at my office at the university," I shouted as I ran out the door, pushing him ahead of me and then locking up.

I did hate to leave Xelloss standing there, but if I hadn't pulled away from him at that moment, I might have drowned in his sad eyes and missed my rendezvous with Val. He could simply suck me into his vortex of turbulence, from which I would emerge a changed being. Maybe he understood that and didn't want to alter my new reality; he hadn't forestalled my progress as hard as I know he could have.

"I'm calling Zel now!" I promised in a shout out the car window as I sped off.

"Zel? Did I actually get you?" I yelled into my cell phone, which was clamped between my shoulder and my cheek precariously as I drove to the hotel. "I haven't got much time so you gotta do this."

"Do what?"

"Xelloss dropped by. Alone. And...he was okay but I could tell there was something he needed to say but I had to run. I left him standing out in front of my place. You're in Seyruun at the hospital tonight, right?"

"I'm in Seyruun at the hospital, but not working now."

"He needs someone. Call him, okay?"

"Maybe it's you he needs to talk to, not me," Zel suggested.

"It can't be me. It wouldn't be...safe. Now go! Talk! Call me later and tell me what he says. Bye." I didn't want to get into a verbal sparring match with him. I also knew Zel would understand the danger signals. Now was not the time for intimate meetings between Xelloss and myself.

So, that's when Zel learned that Xelloss had realized that he had made a grave error in marrying Shanna. Xelloss wasn't all a great guy, believe me. He was ruthless, brutal, at times. It appeared that he had no qualms about using this girl first as a crutch, then as a shield from Filia, and now that her usefulness was spent, it appeared that he was willing to cheerfully toss her away. Cut his losses and go. That lack of remorse and cutthroat attitude probably allowed him to un-build the syndicate, but it was rough on his disposable liaisons. Ah, Zelas...you would have been so proud of your little boy...

What was important, though, and moved us all closer to achieving the ultimate goal here, was that if Xelloss was hoping to dump his wife, then that meant Xelloss must feel he had a chance with Filia again, like some clan option opening up. Or, in an inauspicious light, it might indicate that Xelloss had some reason to believe that Filia was permanently out of his life. That could only be if she was in love with someone else. But there was no one else. I knew that! The only other guy she'd been around of late was Val. And Val was mine, Lina Inverse's man, and only mine.

This was no time for doubt or mistrust. Time to plan the next step; the next two, that is. It was time to check on that cabin rebuilding project, now that the road up was passable.

Also, I decided that it was time to invite Filia to move back into my house. Not only would it help in the loneliness department, but that way I could keep an eye on her. And that happened faster than I was afraid it might. I was sure that I'd have to mention how close to downtown (and Xelloss) it was. Tempt her with temptation. But...

"I've decided to reopen the Mace and Vase," she opened. "I need something to do and it was the perfect business for me."

"Cool. So, you'll be needing a place to stay in Sey..."

"Is my room still available in your house?" Filia's eyes beseeching me for a 'yes' answer.

So I gave it. "Yeah, wanna move back?"

"Oh, yes as soon a possible."

"Cool." I tossed Filia her old keys back.

So, the summer started better than the last one with Xelloss fleeing the country. I had my band back, a huge reunion to plan, gigs to do, Zel on top of some plan to break up Xelloss from his wife, plus a few more irons in the fire to get Xelloss into some clan, and a romance of my own to tend to. And as to that, our cabin in the high desert was nearly done. It would be close enough for an inspection soon. Sounded busy, but like I said before, it was a good kind of busy because I felt in charge again!

Amelia and Zel were looking into Xelloss' agreement with the Cephied Believers when he gave away Wolfpack Island. It looked to us all like a promising way to leverage a clan membership out of them. Also, by summer, Amelia and Zel had their plan to separate Xelloss from his wife in place, although I was not privy to the details, mostly because Zel thought (and Amelia agreed even knowing how I felt about Val!) I was part of Xelloss' romance problems. Even after I had worked to stay away from Xelloss' influence! Had one of them simply asked me...ah...well...I may not have been very convincing at the time. But I wasn't playing with Xelloss' feelings in an attempt to entice him to my side. I was being rather secretive, but that had to do with keeping intimate meetings with Val hidden from everyone. I, on the other hand, was satisfied with letting them take over the 'Xelloss problem' for a little while so that I could concentrate on Val.

I wanted to regain some of our intimacy, our mental connectedness. We had lost months of time together and realized that I had no idea what had been going through his mind while he had been out at the settlement with Filia. I wanted to know. So one day when he stopped by the university, I pushed him into the chair in my office, brought up the word processor, and told him to 'put it into words,' while I graded papers. What follows is his, with editing by me:

I fished in my jacket pocket for some cigarettes. Filia frowned. I ignored the look and what it meant. I just wasn't in the mood. I should quit. Again. But not now. I found the pack and stood.

"Be right back," I said, brushing past her and walking to the back of the house.

I pushed through the doors to the back porch. I felt...distracted, and I didn't like it. I hurdled over the railing off the porch and out onto the walking path, then paused, hand digging in pocket for my lighter. It was dark outside and reasonably quiet. I stopped and put a cigarette to my lips, flicking the lighter to make a quiet flame in my hand. I drew in and relaxed against the brick wall, eyes closing. Time to reach for a peace inside myself as I smoked. I'd always felt that my cigarette time was the closest I came to meditation, the closest I came to centering myself, when I couldn't be out at the desert. Yeah, I'd quit for good, someday, but not tonight. I exhaled evenly, slowly.

Evidently, an aching heart wasn't something that ever escaped your memory.

Lina was my first real in-love-with-her lover, my first real romance, so this had never come up before, this conflict with competition. And, to be honest, it wasn't really a problem until recently. Somehow the idea of Lina finding someone else was far worse than the idea of Lina pulling back, loving me less. I clenched my jaw and opened my eyes, looking out through the dark and across the parking to the dark line of trees in the distance. Jealousy was something I'd thought I was beyond-- if that was what it was. It seemed somehow sadder than just jealousy, but I didn't have much to compare it with. Girls never dumped me, I dumped them first. This was a first in so many ways. And not a good first. Something had to change, I knew. How did other people deal with this kind of feeling, I wondered? I smoked in silence, watching the neighbors trail in from their car towards their house as if pulled by some silent signal.

Lina was mine. She's said so, but she also was attracted to that Joey kid and she loved Xelloss. No doubt about that. She and Xelloss were so close in a funny way and yet, it was she who told me she loved me and wanted me to love just her and only her. And yet... This was something new for both of us. She'd never even had a boyfriend before. And I'd never kept a girl for more than a month, if that. And now, Lina was spending more time with Xelloss, while I was spending my time with Filia. It was all for a good cause, but I hated it. I hated being apart from Lina at all and for so long and just when we had something good starting.

"Are you thinkin' of me, Li?" I whispered to the dark.

I stomped out my cigarette and shuffled back into the house. Filia would have something interesting to watch. She always chose good fantasy movies, to take away the pain of reality.

"At least I wasn't suffering alone, when you and I were apart," I told him. I thought about what he'd written about clearing his head out at the desert and wondered if now would be a good time to bring up the cabin project.

He chuckled deep within his chest. A rumble like a storm on the way. "You worrying 'bout me not sufferin' enough over you? Shiiit, Li, I tortured myself for years over you."

"How sweet," I grinned. "Tell me more." What I had to say about the cabin could wait. I wanted to hear him talk about things important to him. I wanted to know everything I could about this man.

He cleared his throat while he thought of what story to tell me. He was a little nervous but also a little excited. This was a new kind of fun, talking...about...stuff. "'Kay, we were with the others at the grand openin' party, remember? Out at the badlands? Yeah, back then when you and me weren't understandin' things very well at the time. I had wanted it to be us sharin' a room, enjoyn' the spa. And we weren't. Then that last day, I had a sudden vision of you lyin' beside me on that massive bed in my room and that you were wearin' a lazy smile of contentment, and nothin' else. Yer eyes were fantastic, that deep fiery red that seemed to see everything as you studied my face."

I gave him an encouraging smile.

He went on, "Well, then so...I gotcha to follow me in. You sat there in that chair watchin' me with those eyes. I felt so vulnerable, caught in your eyes like that, so open. I hadn't felt that way before, except now and then alone with Fil, a long time ago. And that wasn't the same, Fil knew me pretty well and yet somehow... not well enough. You looked at me in a different way, as if learn-ing as you watched and lik-ing what you saw. It really made me feel...important. Cherished, almost, if that's the word. I mean, you'd been a virgin before sleepin' with me that day and I am still amazed that I was the one thatcha wanted."

Oh yeah, a sappy line like that bought him a kiss from me. "Yeah, I was quite a catch, wasn't I? Go on..." I said silkily and smiled back at him. This was fun. I liked the way he slipped out of his old, affected speech pattern and spoke to me...just me in clear, multi-syllable words.

"The look in your eyes had been possessive, covetous even. And I liked being the object of that look much more than I could explain to you. Or maybe even to myself. I just hoped you weren't sorry about what we'd done together. You said you were okay. I wished I'd just gone on and asked you to come home with me after that. What was the worst that could have happened? Hell, I knew the answer to that, it wasn't as if it hadn't happened before. Eventually, you would have woken up in the mornin' and been furious with me, resentful or even...ashamed."

"Mad, maybe, but never ashamed," I assured him. And then I proved how I felt so as not to have wasted any more of our precious, private time together on just talk. But I was glad we had that talk. I learned something. Val had been as unsure of me as I had been of him back then, even though he seemed so confident! I hoped he felt more certain of me now.

"I brotcha my book of poetry," he said hesitantly.

"Oooh! Let's see!" I squealed eagerly. Had he written about me?

When he showed me his little worn book, I wasn't surprised. I think that disappointed him, me not acting shocked at his talent all hidden away or thrilled that he was letting me read it. As I read them all, he watched me with a dark look on his face. Created from his carefully chosen words, each gem of a poem produced powerful images and intense emotions. I found them to be compelling and told him so and why. We spent an entire evening analyzing Val Agares through his poetry. He had to fix me dinner to keep me going. What an ego stroke for the guy, but it was fun making him feel like the center of the universe; well, at least mine for awhile.

"This part's terrific. How the wind makes you feel, but here..." I gnawed on a carrot and let him see what I was pointing at. "Here you get all sappy."

"Sappy?" His serious expression disappeared in a smirky smile, "It's a love poem, Li. Ain't ya ever felt that way before?"

"Yeah, but..."

"No 'but'. This is 'bout passion. I can hear it in yer voice when you perform. It's in the way you do stuff all focused and involved. And if you got passion, you got love. And if you got love, then you can be content. That's all it's saying there."

"Just content? But, don't you want more once you're in love? And you want the other person to love you back so you're all worried about that happening and there's all these expectations you have to live up to and..."

"Now there you go gettin' all stirred up. Hell, Li, you make life so difficult for yourself. None of that's gotta happen. You can just feel it and go with it. I tried to put that down in the poem. The wind filling me with love."

"But the wind changes direction and blows away..."

He spanked me good-naturedly. "Stop bein' so ne-ga-tive!"

"Ouch!"

"An' stop yer whinin'," he chuckled and kissed me soundly. "Good. Now be quiet a minute. I think happy poems are hardest. Who feels like writing when their happy? Sad's easier and so's anger. Love's the hardest to express. Seems to be for me."

"Yeah," I agreed whole heartedly. "So, when did you write this one?"

"We were all at the beach house, all but her, ah...Filia. You remember, when Subaru and his sister got dumped on us the first time?" Val smiled faintly.

"Yeah, that was a fun time. We were so young... So, you were thinking about Filia when you wrote this?" I ventured.

"No big thing..." he insisted.

"Let's see...it made your skin... 'clammy?'"

"Sometimes," he said slowly, his voice low and a smile spreading to his eyes. "Sometimes I'd be sweatin'. Sometimes a chill would settle upon me, then a flash of heat to seer my flesh away."

"My gods, Val, that sounds awful– not like love at all!"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah..." I smiled. "You know, the more I learn about you, the better I know you, the more I like you."

"Ummm, that sounds promising. Possibly...passionate...?"

"Very possibly. I'd go as far as promising, particularly, passionate. But first..."

"No firsts," he growled.

"I quick one. I want to go out to the high desert, but not the spa. A special place."

"Yeah?"

"Our cabin place."

"But it ain't there any more, Li..."

"Oh yes it is."

"Oh no it's not..."

"It will be a little different. Running water from the spring hooked up inside, with a water heater and a tiny bathroom and trucked-in propane."

"What are you talking about?"

"Consider it a late birthday present from me to you," I smiled at his incredulous expression.

"Li..."

And that was the end of the conversation part of our evening together. I never knew how totally happy and...contented.. I could be, until I fell in love with Val.

...sigh...

With Filia moved back into the house, the place felt a lot warmer. Especially this one day when I was running late.

I walked slowly towards the kitchen, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. As my hands fell to my sides, I caught another scent, something floral. When I entered the living room, I saw it. I froze mid-step, stunned. There were flowers everywhere; in vases and jars along the shelves, pink roses in boxes atop the table, wildflowers tied in bunches; a profusion of blooms in pink and white and yellow and red and blue. Roses, carnations, baby's-breath, daisies, flowers I didn't know the names of in bouquets throughout the room; some obviously from a florist, others were pretty wild flowers in bunches. What was Filia thinking of to have done this?

I was too sleepy to process the floral assault further, so I stumbled on to the kitchen, looking for Filia. She glanced up from the stove, saw me friend and set the spatula down. When I reached her, she hugged me, then pulled back to look into my face. She was smiling and relaxed, almost girlish. I was baffled.

"Filia? What's...what's up with the flowers, what're you so... so... whatever about, so... happy... about?" My voice was thick with sleep, a low purr.

Filia laughed, "So you saw the flowers?" Her eyes twinkled.

"Well, duh...what...what?" Her expression was confusing me.

Filia reached for an envelope on the counter and handed it to me. She met my questioning eyes and said, "He was very handsome, Lina."

"He...who?"

She gestured for me to open the card. It read: 'From the one you've been waiting for.'

"Do you know who brought them?" Filia asked.

I sure as hell did now. Only Val would have used that quote from Carol's love letter and only he would have arranged the bouquets by hand. Xelloss would have had a professional arrangements delivered. But it was so romantic. I'd never though of Val as the kind of man to go out for wild, romantic gestures. "Was he here? Already this morning? Before 8:00? You...saw Val?"

Filia nodded and giggled. "Yeah, and he had his hair brushed and clean. Oh, and he mentioned wanting to take us both out for dinner. Here's his other note with the time and place."

I was astonished.

Filia laughed at my face, which was most probably a mess. "I thought it was a nice house warming present, don't you think so?"

Yes and no. I knew that he had done this all for me, but in a way so as to allow room for Filia's misinterpretation. If I thought it was time to 'let the cat out of the bag' so to speak, then I could. No. She and Xelloss were not in tight yet. Until then, Val and I were secret lovers. It was kinda fun that way, too.

In the meantime, dear Amelia arranged for me and her to speak with Luna concerning Xelloss and his Wolfpack Island ownership hand off to Filia. Luna had said before that she knew next to nothing and now she was sticking closer to absolutely nothing. You'd have thought Luna didn't want Xelloss to get that clan membership. She was no help at all. Amelia pressed like a red hot iron until Luna delved a bit deeper into the paperwork. And, low and behold, the Island was under Filia's control, she discovered.

"That means that Filia can threaten to take the island away from her clan, should she have to leave it in order to make a life with the one she loves. It's just the most romantic fight for justice I've ever heard of," Amelia sighed.

We all agreed that this could be very useful leverage, should Filia choose to exercise it. "Yeah, but why hadn't Xelloss ever mentioned it? He's sharp. He woulda figured out the same thing," I muttered.

"He must have forgotten about it or maybe he wanted Filia to figure it out herself? Who knows?" Amelia asked.

"When it comes to him, you never can tell," Luna said vacantly. "But he doesn't often do something that convoluted without a reason."

To which I snorted, "Think again. Xelloss is out there a lot of the time."

My sister's mind was clearly not on our meeting. It was elsewhere mulling over another plan with different objectives and geared towards helping me out. Luna was no dummy. She understood that Val and I were...close, shall we say, and that his being out at the settlement with Filia hadn't been a romantic arrangement. To be more accurate, she had scraped his butt over the coals, interrogating the poor guy as to his (now get this) intentions with me. And even tough-hided Val gave way under Luna's attack. He broke down, not in tears...geez... but he told her about our secret love affair. I guess Luna bought into it. She kept our affair secret, and kept those coals warm until she could get me alone.

She held off grilling me for facts until Amelia had left out little meeting. Actually, it was, I guess, more of a light sautéing, like fat shrimp in butter with a squeeze of lemon. Hmmm...

Luna surprised me when she leaned toward me and grabbed my hand across the table, "Lina, tell me about you and Val. Is it for real?"

Sizzle...

"What do...? Yeah..." I couldn't deny him or the truth. "We're keeping it quiet until this mess with Xelloss and Filia gets worked out. But, yeah. We are like , I guess you'd call it."

Here's where I expected her to tell me that I was making the biggest mistake of my life, so I tensed up ready to flare to my defense.

She squeezed my hand and purred, "Well, he's no Xelloss, but...at least he's sexy and rich as hell. Good job, little sis!"

Ah, geez... Even my big sis was getting soft with age. Why that drubbing wouldn't even have melted the butter!

So, why didn't Filia and I talk about Xelloss and Val? We weren't home together very often, for one and... it was a very uncomfortable topic, for another. Oh, once or twice she mentioned Val's name and I Xelloss', but we just couldn't go there. Not so soon.

Then we had the new CD in hand and a summer of promotional touring planned. It must have been the second gig that Zel and Amelia executed their scheme to separate Xelloss from his wife. I had no idea what was coming down when Shanna barged into my room to complain about Xelloss. Filia convinced the girl that Xelloss was gay with a sordid history of using young ladies as a cover-up. I thought it wasn't fair to involve Zel. He had a reputation of his own to maintain. I wondered if Filia wasn't just being vindictive, SEQ CHAPTER h r 1I wondered if Filia wasn't just being vindictive, trying to hurt Xelloss and spoil the ( so far anyway ) smooth interactions of the band. Still, I mostly listened and let Filia sink or swim on her own. Shanna, shocked into silence, fled to return to Zel and Amelia's room.

Now both Filia and Zel reported this story before, so I'll pass by it pretty quick-like. Filia was sure that she was sending both Zel and Xelloss a message. I was too, but not the same kind.

"Zel will be furious that you've included him in all this. I expect Zel to come pounding my door down any minute," I told her.

"Oh, Lina...I love Xelloss so much. If there is any chance at all of regaining some part of our past relationship, any hope, I'll do what it takes. I want him back, regardless."

"Yeah, but... Is that the door, Filia? Zel? Yeah, you can come in. Yeah, we're decent!"

It was Zel. He explained that Amelia was with Shanna at the hotel coffee shop, discussing her alternatives.

"But, are you okay with all this. Being the gay partner again?" I asked him.

Zel shrugged, "I can deal with it, since it's not true," He gave me a wry, little smile as if he knew something I didn't, which he did, then went on, "It will all soon be over, anyway. And, well, Xelloss needs all the help I can give him. He wasn't a happily married man, if you couldn't tell. He was in a vulnerable state when he met Shanna and maybe he hoped that she could help him climb over his mountain of problems. But...when he saw you back with the band..." Zel smiled genuinely over at Filia, "He came out of his depression overnight."

Zel cleared his throat and sharpened his tone, "He and I had a talk, Filia. I have to know how you feel about him."

Filia was so disconcerted that she lost her balance and fell off the bed. I did the honors and told him that Filia was fortunately still in love with the idiot, for some ungodly reason, and that we should get the two of them some private time to talk things over. Zel agreed, told me to meet him in at the end of the hallway in about fifteen minutes, and then left us.

"Don't be nervous," I told her weakly.

"I-I don't know what to say to him."

I laughed, "Oh, I bet you'll think of something. You'll do all right. Ah...I'd better git before Xelloss shows up, though."

I fled to Amelia's empty room and peered out the door to watch for Xelloss' arrival. In the meantime, Zel had met with Xelloss and sent him to see Filia. When I heard Xelloss' knock at her door, I let out the breath I was holding. Now it was all up to them. I spied Zel at the other end of the hall. When I was sure Xelloss was out of the way, I waved Zel to hurry back to join me.

There, he began his pitch by reiterating, "Amelia's plan worked, you see. She and Shanna are drawing up the basic separation papers at this very moment and it seems that both Xelloss and Filia are ready to re-build some kind of friendship, but to what extent and to what degree, who knows. It's out of our hands now."

"I hope so," I said easing back onto the bed.

"I hope you'll give them a chance."

Striii-ke one.

"Zel..."

He looked down at his hands then met my eyes with one of his trademark freeze stares. "I was relieved that you stayed out of it. You had me worried. I didn't know what involvement you had in Xelloss' life or wanted."

Striiiii-ke two.

"You seem overly interested in Xelloss' affairs," I observed. "And mine..."

"I want what's best for him, naturally, but I want to move on with my own life and I can't while his is in such turmoil. And you seem to keep getting yourself mixed up in his affairs."

Striiiii-ke three.

Okay, now it was his turn to take the hits. I did not want to begin to explain my relationship with Xelloss to my buddy Zel. Time to throw him a curve ball. "Eh! What you really want is someone else to take care of him so you don't have to shoulder the responsibility for the rest of your life."

"That too," he admitted.

Strike one. Good start. Now for a fast one. "If Filia wants to, she can try and force the clan to allow Xelloss into their training program. All she has to do is say she's leaving and taking Wolfpack with her," I pointed out.

"You've talked to her about that already? She truly wants to get back with him?" I asked.

Fly ball... and Filia wasn't here to catch it.

"Ah, too many questions, there, Zel. I thought I'd see how this part worked first before informing Filia of her Island privileges. And I don't know what will become of them. Why get her hopes up if he can't get divorced or whatever, ya know?"

"I agree. I didn't mention it to him either, just in case. But I see at least one major obstacle in the way, besides Xelloss himself."

Man on base, oh geez... I was getting sloppy. Leave to Zel to find a problem in the game plan. I wound up for another attempt to head him off.

"Oh yeah? And that would be?"

"Val, what about him? Is he stuck on Filia again? Will he be a problem? I haven't had a chance to even wave to him until this morning."

Ah, ha! Striiiiii-iiiike two!

I smirked, "Val stuck on Filia? Ha! Not to worry, I'll handle him, plus I think I can get Val to pressure the clan in the same way."

I was just full of bravado. I nearly gave myself away. That one went foul.

"What? He'd mess with his Ancient Clan holdings to help Xelloss?"

I had to get Zel's mind off Val, so I pushed more responsibilities on him. How about a screw-ball, heh, heh... "In a manner of speaking... Anyway, here's what you have to do. If they seem gung-ho, just get Filia to tell Mil she'll leave the clan if something isn't done!"

"Is that all? Why me?"

Damn, he was a slippery guy. Another man on base. Make the next one hard and fast, to be sure.

"You wanna tackle Val? Huh? I didn't think so. Nobody but me'll do that. In the meantime, Gourry and Sylphiel are doing all my band stuff, and Amelia's busy with Shanna. Which leaves you free to..."

"I get it, Lina. Fine. I'll talk to Filia later, if I get the 'all clear' from them."

Yeees! Strike three and you are out, out, out! I won! I won! I won! Zel sighed a weary sigh. Loser. He didn't look tired, just concerned for his friends. I could tell that it was time for me to work my special brand of magic and inspire him a bit. It had been a good clean game and no one liked a poor winner, right?

"Hey, bud, it'll all turn out just great and in time for our reunion party. You'll see. For a cold, heartless, guitar freak, yer getting pretty good at this 'being in love' stuff."

To which he mysteriously replied, "I'm about to become an expert at it," before he excused himself to the bathroom.

There were more innings to go? I didn't know that! Hey, Zel get back here! Was he about to tell me something personal here? I guessed that he and Amelia were about to reach some momentous point in their relationship. Well, if he wanted to keep it private, fine. I sure understood that. Now I just wanted to go back to my own room, but couldn't while Xelloss and Filia might be in a delicate situation. When Sylphiel knocked at their door, I knew the coast would be clear if I waited them out another minute. Sure enough, Xelloss cleared out and then I ran over.

"Well? Well?" I screamed at Filia.

She gave me a hug, "Oh Lina, I feel dizzy. My mind's a white blank; he just sets my body on fire..."

Sigh... "I just hope this all works," I muttered, cutting her blubbering off but greatly relieved.

After all, it wasn't my plan so who knew?

And later, Zelgadiss did his duty and spoke to Filia. Wolfpack Island did not come as a surprise to Filia. She was aware of that blackmailing trick. Xelloss, too. And she was more than willing to use her new-found power and screw-over her clan in the name of love. Amelia was into the just cause as well, conjuring up the speediest annulment ever in the magical kingdom of Seyruun.

My turn was next. See, I knew Val was in a pretty favorable frame of mind ever since I told him about the cabin. We had even taken a quick jaunt there to see how it looked. It looked good enough to test out the place on the weekend. Which we did. That's where this conversation took place, I'm nearly positive.

"Val, I have a favor to ask you."

Now, Val was a relatively normal male. He had his pride, but he could also be bribed with, well...let's just say the 'promise of a good time'. Not that he was as crazy as Xelloss about sexual relations. Xelloss had a non-stop, overactive libido, which was (and Filia can attest to this, ask her if you don't believe me) probably overcompensating for something in his past, he was so demanding. Val was certainly eager, but not one to ever pressure me. Still, I could lure him into a little entrapment, occasionally.

We were stretched out on our king-sized mattress (a new one!) after a hard day band-related followed by hours of traveling to get to the cabin. I repeated, since he hadn't grunted or moved, "Ummm... Val, I have a favor to ask you."

"Anything, babe," he sighed carelessly.

Good, he was too wasted to think. "Well, Filia's willing to quit the clan and take her island with her to get the Supreme elder to let Xelloss join the clan. But what if Wolfpack Island isn't enough? What if there were more assets at stake?"

"The more the better probably. Whatcha got in mind?" he asked. Nothing getting past him.

"What if you threaten to withdraw your property from the clan?"

Val snorted as he turned to face me, "Hnn! That's one hell of a dangerous threat, Li. It would bankrupt them, I think."

"So, it just might get the council's attention?"

"Oh, yeah, it would do that." Val stared out the window into the night sky, then back at me. "Zel wants to get on with his life. He told me he's waiting for Xelloss to get settled before he can. Same thing for us. Guess we're all in that limbo place as you call it, wastin' time waitin' for them to get squared away. This might speed things up. 'Kay, I'll give my lawyer a call and see what can be done. That what you want from me?"

"Yes, mostly...but I'd also like one of those wonderful backrubs you give."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, the one with benefits, if you get my drift?"

He caught on fast, about the need to get on the phone with his lawyer as fast as possible, as well, heh, heh...

Fast action was necessary, too, because we hadn't much time before that reunion party in October, and I know Xelloss wanted it resolved by then. It was a kind of mystical date for him. Xelloss himself was off continent the day after his annulment came through. He took Miss Shanna back with him saying he had plenty of work to finish up. He promised, though, to return by October, without a doubt.

Filia informed Milgasia of her plans to pressure her clan using the island as collateral. Val was preparing his own 'package' to throw in the faces of the council, but was waiting until Luna gave him a sign that it would be absolutely necessary.

In this way, fall arrived and no ruling came overturning the previous denials of Xelloss' admission to the Cephied clan. I had to prepare for teaching two classes this time and asked Val to 'screen my calls!" This he did well, if not a bit too harshly, but I needed to concentrate!

As Zel summarized in a previous chapter: "This left my future uncertain, as well as Xelloss', Amelia's, and Filia's. We had this huge almost-ten-year-reunion party planned just for our band, to be followed by a concert where 10,000 tickets had already been sold! I hoped the gods would have mercy on us and make everything turn out all right."

So did I.

Yep, I was teaching classes, planning our party, selling tickets for the concert and Zel was worrying and in his last year of residency, poor baby. Filia was becoming a basket case at home. I was thankful that she was at work most of the time to spare me her pacing and anxious hand wringing. One morning, I staggered into the bathroom. I noticed that the trash can was tilted at a funny angle. When I righted it, I spied a curious box discarded on top. A pregnancy test. Oh, my...

I hurried with my business, and then scurried down the hall to Filia's room. The box sure the hell wasn't mine! The light was on so I knew she was up.

"Filia? Can I come in?"

She made a grunt I assumed to be a 'yes' and so I entered.

"Say..." I began, but said no more. There was no need. The look on her face told me everything. "Oh, Filia..."

She burst into tears, happy or sad, I couldn't tell. "Lina...I'm...I'm...I'm going to have a baby..."

I performed the quick calculation in my head, then said, "That make up sex is the most dangerous, ya know?"

She giggled and sniffed. "Don't I know it! I mean, we were always so careful, then that one time...and now he's not here and who knows what's going to happen?"

"Oh, buck up, Filia. Xelloss will be back. He's crazy about you, he'll love this baby to bits, you'll either be in the clan or not, but you'll be a family together. Just a little sooner than you'd planned, that's all!"

Sniff!

"Filia! Xelloss will be ecstatic when he finds out that he finally accomplished something worthwhile, and all on his own; that is, not counting your key role."

"Lina!" her tears crossed with laughter creating hiccups. "Yeah...hic...you're right."

"You bet I'm right! I'm always ... well, most always right. Now, do you want to call Xelloss and give him the good news, or..."

"I think I'll keep this a-a secret," Filia smiled with a cunning glint in her eye.

"Oh? Well, may I suggest we break it to him this way...?"

And we came up with a fun surprise for everyone, at the reunion party. And told stories. Everything could wait an hour while two old friends settled on a comfortable stroll down memory lane. Filia began with a Xelloss story.

"Okay, so we were at a practice, relaxing with drinks in hand, except for Xelly; his was resting on the head of a drum so he could wander around."

"Oh yeah, Xelloss was always restless."

"I bugged me for the longest time. But, I was more okay with it once I understood his medical condition."

"Funny how many annoyances you can get used to," I smiled at her. "That ADD stuff explained away most of his odd behavior. So, his soda was on his drum head...?"

"He was up and about the room for awhile, then he picked up the glass to finish the last half inch or so."

"I don't remember this. Where was I?" I asked.

"You and Val were practicing that duet of yours in another room."

"Oh, then this was a few years ago then..."

"Uh, huh. So, Xelly started to drink, but stopped before he swallowed when he noticed an odd soft 'thing' in his mouth."

"Was everyone else watching this?" I asked.

"No, they were practicing...or something. He didn't think I was watching him. I just couldn't help it! He was just so..."

"Weird?" I offered.

"Fascinating, Lina! Do you want to hear the rest of the story or not?"

"Go on..." You have to coddle Filia.

"Okay, so he spit out the 'thing' into his hand and looked it over. I couldn't tell what it was. It was small and brown and he placed it carefully on a cymbal. He was now captivated by the 'thing'. He watched in for several minutes. Then it started to move..."

Filia used a hand to mimic a spider doing pushups and trying to walk. "A spider?" I asked.

"Yeah, and it wasn't a soda, it was wine and the spider was drunk."

"And in shock from being nearly eaten alive, I'll bet."

Filia nodded, "It took awhile before it could get all its legs to work together and walk. Then Xelloss poked it with a pencil and it took off like a shot, rappelling down the cymbal and away." Filia sighed dreamily, "I miss having him near."

She was about to start crying again, so I decided not to comment upon Xelloss drinking wine at a practice, or anytime. I needed to change the topic. "Have you noticed Zel acting differently these days? I think he's demonstrated genuine feelings, without artifice or looking uncomfortable. Little things, ya know?"

She nodded and sniffed, "Yeah, I noticed him scampering around and whispering in Amelia's ear, sharing some secrets. Like that cute little 'hand over the heart' sign. They still exchange that?"

I grinned, "Cute, huh? They still do that when they don't think we're watching."

"It's so sweet to see our friends in love."

"That's right," I said. "I asked him point blank about that."

"No!"

"Yes, 'Do you love Amelia?' I asked him."

"What did he say?"

"He said, 'Yes I do, Lina.'"

"Wow..."

"Yeah, after years of avoiding and obfuscating, he finely admitted to me. So then I asked him how it felt."

Filia smiled, "I just can't imagine Zel-bob talking about romance."

"Yeah, well, me neither. What he said was this: 'Medically, you can eat a few ounces of chocolate and the resulting feeling of well-being and happiness is very nearly the same thing."

Filia laughed aloud, "Leave it to Zel-bob to take away all the mystery."

"Cut and dried, that's our Zel," I chuckled.

"With strong feelings like those, no wonder nothing's ever come of them," Filia giggled.

It sure felt good to have a light-hearted conversation and share a laugh with her again. And that was fortunate, because the date for our super, wonderful reunion party was closing in fast.

... very fast ...

... and there were so many things to do!

... and we had no word from any Cephied leadership, from anywhere, as to Xelloss' membership status!

... and Xelloss hadn't returned or called...

... and time was running out...

... and then suddenly...

... it was time...

From this point forward, I'm gonna tell this in the third person, but it's still me writing. I had to collect impressions from so many people to get this complete that it really turned out to be a composite, so bear with me and enjoy:

-------- T I M E W A R P --------

Back to the ten year reunion party!

-------- T I M E W A R P --------

Well, the Slayers were all gathered together at last. They were standing around eating tidbits and chatting at their party. Waiting just a while longer in hopes that Xelloss would magically appear on time. Val was changing CD's, when a loud 'Whap WHOOP Whap' noise nearly drowned it out.

"Helicopter?" Joey dashed to the door. "Yeah, it's Xelloss!"

Xelloss dashed through the entrance and into the room, where he paused only long enough to smooth his glossy hair with both hands. Filia's eyes tracked Xelloss like a cat a mouse, searching for clues as to his next move. He was looking a bit tired about the eyes but his clothes were hardly rumpled. He must have stopped and changed before coming. He strode forward resolutely, heading directly for Lina, not hesitating longer than to nod to Zel on the way. Of course, Filia was off at the side looking on and not in his line of sight.

Zelgadiss worked his way toward her and commented, "It will be all right, Filia."

"Naturally," she said. She looked determined, jaw set, but her fists clenched and released repeatedly with anxiety.

Gourry's folks found a place to stand off at one side near the White Shrine priest, who was, after all, his father-in-law. A few more figures entered and ducked into he shadows, but then all was quiet and still. Everyone's attention was fixed upon the two friends as time slowed to a stand still. Their lives were put on hold while Xelloss and Lina resolved a past pledge.

Xelloss had made it. He was striding purposefully toward Lina, fresh from a shower. She could smell the lavender from his shampoo as he drew close. Xelloss stood over Lina, holding her hand. He spoke to her. Filia could see his lips move, but nothing else. Lina smiled, though, in response to what Xelloss had said.

Zelgadiss gave Amelia a strange look communicating in the secret language of lovers, then they both looked over at Filia.

Val had moved closer to Lina, close enough that he could hear what was transpiring, then he looked Filia's way. Val's eyes slid from Lina to Xelloss to Filia wondering if both young ladies and his friend would be able to hold up under the stress. Lina seemed cool, but then she had the power to change people's lives. To Val, his friend Xelloss appeared on the verge of another nervous attack and Filia looked ill.

Val's eyes darted around the room to catch movement by the doors. He recognized Milgasia and his wife step into the room, then Rezo and Mrs. Shearer, and Nels Lahda and his wife enter the hall with Mayor Phil nearby to greet them. Gourry's folks entered quietly and stood by the door. They were followed by Filia's parents, and with them came Luna. Luna's face seemed relaxed as she passed by the others to stand near Milgasia. She spoke to the clan leader in a low voice and they nodded.

At that, Val relaxed. He stepped forward stealthily, coming to a stop somewhat behind Lina. He could just barely hear her voice.

"Oh, for gods'sakes Xelloss this is so stupid. Go over and marry the mother of your future child, oh and while yer at it..." Lina paused in her speech to remove Zelas' ring from the chain on her neck. At the same time Xelloss' eyes widened slightly, her information suddenly sinking in. His mouth fell lax.

"Here," Lina's voice snapping his attention to what she was offering him, "I won't be needing this any more. I bet it will even fit her finger."

Xelloss' eyes were riveted to the glittering object dangling from Lina's hand a moment before she dropped the heavy gold and ruby ring into his cool, dry palm. Lina winked at him then flashed a smile at Filia.

Xelloss regained the use of his jaw and whispered, "Thank you," and then gave her tiny fingers a gentle squeeze. His smile widened and he suppressed an excited giggle as he turned his violet eyes toward the object of his affections.

Val automatically glanced over at Filia. He understood what was going on, but did she?

"Zelgadiss," Amelia, unable to make out what was going on between Xelloss and Lina, whispered in his ear. "Look who's here. Your father's here...and Mr. Gourry's folks."

"Yes and now Luna. She looks...relieved. I believe that's good news."

"Oh I do too. Oh! Xelloss looks happy, see? Go get over and see if Mr. Xelloss needs you."

Zel raised an eyebrow, "I don't think he needs me now, Amelia. This part I know he can do by himself. He's had practice."

Both he and Amelia looked over at Filia simultaneously.

Everyone was looking at Filia.

In a few strides Xelloss was at her side. Without a word he wrapped her in his arms and pressed her close. "I love you," he whispered in her ear, trailed quickly by an excited, "Is it true? We're going to have a baby?"

He felt her nod. "Oh my..." he squeezed her harder.

He pulled back so as to see her face. "Make me the happiest man in the world and say you'll marry me?"

Filia blushed. It was such a public proposal. "Yes, I'd love to."

And that was it. No matter what. Let the clan and shrine just deal with it. It was time to do something for themselves.

Amelia hopped up and down, "Yay! At last!"

Zelgadiss couldn't contain his joy much better than her, as he ran up to his best friend and gave him an affectionate hug, "Congratulations, big brother."

Xelloss was crying. "I am so unimaginably happy..." He looked into Zel's eyes and told him, "I'm gonna be a dad, Zel!"

And Zel was so thrilled, that he restrained himself from pointing out to Xelloss that his best friend had just called him by his common nickname, 'Zel.' He could do that later. "That's terrific. Really...great news, Xel."

And Xelloss was so excited that he decided he would hold off and not point out that his friend had just called him by his childhood nickname that sounded just too similar to his friend's. "Yeah," he returned with a grin. "Isn't it?"

Xelloss looked deeper into his best friend's eyes and tried to read his expression. "There's something else. Something you want to tell me?"

Zel nodded, but before he could say anything, Filia interrupted.

"Um," Filia pulled Xelloss back toward her. "I told Milgasia I'd be leaving the clan if they didn't wasn't to include you. I mean, if the clan didn't think you were fit to join, then I wasn't going to stay. We can live on Wolfpack Island, if we want to. I just wanted us to be together and, well, if you hadn't asked me just now, I was going to ask you."

Xelloss laughed, "Oh well...as long as it all worked out, right..."

The poor man was just overcome with delight and couldn't stand still. His excitement threatened to turn the entire party into fiasco. Everywhere he danced, little eddies of joy agitated and sent a-swirl laughter and good will, which grew into currents of rejoicing and emotional triumph.

"Filia's going to marry me!" Xelloss shouted joyously to everyone who hadn't already heard the news. "And I'm gonna be a dad! We're having a baby!"

Filia blushed. "Oh gods..." she sighed to Amelia at her side. "I hadn't even told my parents. This will go over great."

Gourry collected Xelloss, delivering a firm handshake, "Congratulations, Xelloss. Get some sleep while ya can."

"Sleep? Who needs sleeeeeeep?" Xelloss began to sing.

Luna called a halt to the chaos and fervor. "If I could just have your attention for a moment, Milgasia and I have a short announcement."

Those words brought instant sobriety even to Xelloss.

"Xelloss, come over here by Lina and Milgasia and me, okay?" Luna smiled patiently at him.

"As you wish," Xelloss said as he joined the group.

"I'll make this short and to the point. We are here to award you two with a very unique clan membership. This includes a small ceremony, so bear with us everyone.

"Two?" was echoed by a multitude of voices around the room.

Milgasia pulled a Golden Cephied clan seal ring from his pocket, "Xelloss, I would like to congratulate you this day. You have gained an honorary membership into our clan. It gives you all the rights and privileges of a full clan member, but comes with fewer responsibilities. Those are for you to carry out in your position as a White Shrine priest."

"That's...possible?" Xelloss gasped.

Milgasia rolled his eyes, "It is now. When Ms Luna said 'unique' she wasn't joking. These awards are two of a kind never known before."

Xelloss looked to Filia, eyes shining with tears, "Look." He held the ring so that she could see its sparkling gold. "Wanna get married right away?" He was irrepressible at this point.

"Sure," Filia smiled. Why fight it? Wedding ceremonies were important events, but small affairs for the clan anyway.

"Right now?" Xelloss grinned. "You can do that, can't you? Nels? How about it? Just a few words, how about it? We have a lawyer and the Mayor here to file the legal papers."

Milgasia sighed loudly as a chuckle swept the room. "Believe it or not, we figured something like this might happen-- thank you Zelgadiss-- so we came prepared."

"I even brought the papers with me!" Amelia pointed to her tote bag. "Right in there!"

"Wonderful," Xelloss purred. "Oh, and I guess I didn't need this after all."

"What's that?" Luna asked, closing in on the object he was dangling from a chain. It held a fascination all it's own.

"The Volphied Clan Elder felt that I should be a member of their organization, seeing as I had freed them from the evil of the syndicate and lavished wealth beyond their wildest dreams upon them. So, his is another charm to add to my clan collection, eh?"

"Un...believable," Milgasia gasped.

"Certainly a singular confluence here today," agreed Luna.

"So, can I get married now?" Xelloss asked, chipper as ever.

"I won't stop you, but hold on... Before that, please, my turn," Luna shouted over the din of other voices. "I said there would be two awards and there will be. Now, this took a little research. One of the items hidden away for years within Val's mother's trunk was this." She held up a white, metallic ring with a decorative crest. "This is the only original surviving seal from the Ancient clan. Amazing isn't it? How it came to be with us today is even more amazing, I think.

"All those lost souls and a temple filled with stockpiles of materials, but no clan pendants or seals anyplace but this one which Val Agares' mother placed for safe keeping within a document-tomb before fleeing her destroyed home. It was hidden away in a folded parchment labeled 'Valentine', with a copy of his birth certificate. Beside it lay similar envelopes, each with significant legal papers, for each of their other children and personal papers... like their marriage certificate. All important enough to be placed in a restricted room carved out of solid rock.

"At what point in time they had a chest-- or perhaps chests, one for each of their children, we don't know since we only have the one today—created to hold particular clan mementos and keepsakes and engraved with the secret directions where the archives dwelled. Later, it was one of these chests that Val's mother gave to her only remaining son.

We know where the chest had come from, because Val remembered the nightmarish day he and his mother were taken from their home in the temple above their burning settlement. A man soon to become his stepfather, the man known to us all as Gaav, allowed Val's mother to retrieve the chest and bring it along. Perhaps he had hoped it contained priceless jewels and treasure. In any case, Gaav plundered the chest looking for riches and found nothing. He missed the map the kids used later to discover the Ancient weapon's hiding place. And he missed the clues to the whereabouts of the Ancient Clan's archive, and many treasures including this ring. Pure platinum. It bears the seal of the Ancient clan."

Where Xelloss had agitated the overall mood to the near-delirium level, Val's interaction with Luna bordered on dignified and awe inspiring. Everyone 'ooh-ed and ah-ed' over the discovery until Luna waved them to silence again.

"Now for the best part. With Val Agares' approval, the Supreme Council had a near-duplicate created, in a larger, man's size for Val to wear. Mr. Agares," Luna turned to Val, indicating that he should claim ownership of the ring. "Wear this ring proudly. You are now in the unique position of belonging to two clans of the Cephied nation simultaneously.

The tall man took the ring and slid it over his knuckles, "Yeah, cool, huh?" he smiled and waved it for all to see.

Amid cheers, he asked, "But what about the other one? Is it okay if..."

"Eh, eh, eh! Let me finish now, Val, and make it all official," Luna stopped him with a force known mostly to her kid sister.

"Yeah, sure..." Val looked at Lina and shrugged his shoulders.

"What's going on?" Gourry whispered to Zelgadiss as he and Sylphiel moved closer in.

"I have no idea," Zel answered honesty.

Luna cleared her throat and the room fell to silence. "Actually, I have a third award to grant today. Lina? I would like to present to you an honorary membership into the Ancient Cepheid clan. As with Xelloss', it grants you all the rights and privileges, with limited responsibilities, which you can carry out from your work at the university."

"But this belongs to you, Val. Are you okay with all of this?" Lina questioned him before touching the invaluable treasure Luna offered her.

"It was my idea, Lina." Val took the ring from Luna and knelt on both knees before Lina, making him only a few inches shorter than her. "I'd like you to wear this for all you've done for me and my family and for helpin' me develop my land and...and..."

Flushed with embarrassment from Val's outward show of emotion, Lina began to turn away. She met Luna's gaze and froze. No retreat; it was time to face the future. Lina whipped around and said to him, "Sure, okay, I'd be happy to...er... I'd be proud to wear this... You know that... It's just that you're creepin' me out down there and all."

She reached for the ring, but he grasped and held her hand firmly, causing her to lock eyes with him.

"I wasn't quite done," he said quietly.

Lina could feel his shaking through his hand. He was nervous and she guessed what was coming. What would she say to him?

"You know that I l-love ya, Li, and have since the day I first watched you writin' under that tree by the skate park. Everythin' I got is yours, even me-- when ya want me. You know you'll always have the freedom ta come an' go as you like, as long as you come home ta me in the end. I'm askin' you here to marry me and share our future together."

Lina couldn't breathe. She couldn't believe that he was doing this. She couldn't believe it was all real. "Is that the only way I'm gonna get my hands on that ring, by saying yes?" she asked.

It sounded harsh, but from where Val was, he could see the humor in her eyes.

"Just about," he answered, casting her a genuine smile.

This was all about face-saving for Lina; Val knew that. He also knew that he was going a bit overboard, but Lina often liked to be the center of attention, and now there was no opportunity for a change of tactics. It was all on the line. It was up to Lina, but she'd need a little more persuasion, he could tell. This was no time to let his ego get in the way of progress.

"Say yes," Val begged, a catch in his voice. "Please, Li, just say yes."

A little soft sound escaped her throat as she stared into Val's intense golden-hued eyes. Whatever it was that she was feeling, some craziness, was filling her up and making her dizzy, almost faint with something like hunger. Those eyes, those seductive narrow eyes of gold, Val's, right now they pierced into a place that she didn't know she had.

How could you tell, what was the dictionary definition, what was the compass direction that let you know where you were, let you know if it was love who's territory you'd entered? There should be a sign over the gate, at the turnoff, the corner, somewhere to let you know, some kind of clear-cut indication that it was True Love, or not. But, there wasn't, and yet Lina knew that this was something she didn't mind feeling and something she wanted to continue feeling. She could work out the latitude and longitude later. He made her feel a thing she had protected herself against for so long and at one time believed that she would never feel. The total, selfless, deepest love for a man a woman could know. And that was all that mattered, in the end.

"Oh well, in that case, yeah, sure... why not, eh?" she chuckled nervously.

The rest of the folks in the room were paralyzed with shock. Had Val just proposed to Lina, and had Lina just accepted?

Lina gave Val's hand a little tug and he stood up partway, enough to kiss her for all to see he'd laid claim to Lina's heart. Amelia was the first to come out of her stunned state. She skipped up to Lina and wrapped her in a hug from behind, "Oh, Lina! I'm so happy for you. Both you and Filia finding true love and getting married!"

"And you aretoo."

All eyes turned toward that voice, Zel's.

Lina asked nudged Amelia, "What does Zel mean? Amelia, are you engaged to someone?"

"Oh, I get it!" Xelloss laughed, "And they called me the secretive one!"

"She's engaged to me," Zel stated. "We were waiting for the right moment to tell everyone."

Val met eyes with Xelloss, "Heh, you were waitin' for him to get settled, is what you mean."

Zel smiled, but said nothing.

"Me, too," Val admitted. "Didn't seem ap-pro-pre-ate when he an' Fil were all messed up."

"So, all it took was for Xelloss here ta get settled with Filia once an' for all an' everyone else could?" Gourry asked with a half smile. He smiled more and looked down into Sylphiel's eyes for approval, the added, "Well, then we gotta little announcement of our own, too. We're five months away from the birth of our 3rd child."

There were many cheers and cries of good luck passed back and forth between the Slayers and their family members.

"By the way," Lina found Xelloss and smiled. "You think you can part from a secret and tell me how you knew Val's trunk was the clue to this treasure?"

"Ahhhh, well yes... I'm afraid it wasn't really any special talent of mine. It was a premonition of Subaru's. I had been telling him about the Ancient clan lands and Val and...you..." His eyes smiled as her eyebrows rose. "And he had this weird feeling and then he told me to have to check the chest.

Further discussion was cut off as Nahga rushed up to them both and drew them into an uncomfortably tight hug, "Oh, ho,ho,ho,hoooooo, welcome to the family!"

"Huh?" both Xelloss and Lina gasped.

"My little sister just gave me the good news. She's marrying that cute little Zelgadiss guy. Isn't he your brother?" she looked to Xelloss for his weak confirmation, then turned to Lina and asked, "Isn't he Val's brother too?"

The blood rushed from Lina's face. Oh. She hadn't thought that far. Although they weren't blood brothers, Val was Rezo's foster son. She would be related to Nahga... (shudder!) Zolf... (sigh...) Filia... (gulp!) Xelloss (shiver!) Amelia... (okay, I can deal with that...) and... Zel (?). "Noooooooooooo!" she screamed and ran around like a crazed woman.

"Ah now, Li, calm down," Val growled at he captured her in his arms and trapped her. "It's not like anything will be any different, you know that. We all have been family fer years now. Nothin's likely to be different."

"Guess not..." she murmured not wanting to twist away.

Zel was amused. So, had The Wild Lina finally been tamed?

...Party...To be continued...

End -- SHJ Ten Year Reunion-- Chapter Twenty-one.