DISCLAIMER:: ::looks around:: i dont see anyone around here who owns any thing of the HP universe, do you?

AN: okay, chapter 2. i know, they are REALLY short, but ::sigh:: its not my fault!!! well, it is but.. still.. i'm doing my best!!! anyways. yeah. review!!!!!

AN: I LOVE my reviewers, so i thanked you each personally down below... i hate when people dont address each reviewer...cuz i usually write super-long reviews and to simply get a "thanks everyone" drive me absolutely crazy. i dont review to people who do that, except under unusual circumstances as permitted

REVIEW RESPONES:

angelzsweet90: here's the update. i know, its sad.. but... it brings them together!! ::gives a cookie:: thanks for reviewing!

Kaelin Brooke Spar: what's WFTNC? anyways, thanks for reviewing!! ::gives a cookie::

mandabella: thanks so much!! ::gives a cookie::

James-RoxMySox: i know cliffies suck butt, but that one wasn't that bad, was it? thanks for reviewing!! ::gives a cookie::

Amanda Lily Potter: I am REALLY bad at typing, so i'm sorry if i spelt it wrong [because not only does my typing suck, but so does my spelling... yeah...] anyways ::hands over ANOTHER cookie, very reluctantly:: im losing all my cookies!!!!

shadowphoniexstar: thanks so much!! I wrote and wrote, and here it is, chapter 2!! enjoy!! ::hands over cookie::

thanks s0o0o much everyone, i love you all!!!

::takes last cookie out of cookie-basket:: he he he.. made an extra for me :) as a reward for finishing this chappie

ALERT EVERYONE: PLEASE REVIEW!!!

Chapter 2: Christmas Mourning

Lily woke up Christmas morning and saw no presents on her bed, as expected. She got ready and went down the stairs to the Common Room. She sighed when she saw James asleep in a chair facing the fire, but she saw he had been crying and decided not to wake him. Whether he would get presents or not she didn't know, but she did know that either way, today would be hell for him. It would probably just be better if she let him wake up on his own.

Besides, she had let a pretty big secret slip the last time they spoke and she didn't want that to happen again. She knew when he woke up, he'd ask questions and she wasn't ready to let him in... to let anyone in. Hopefully, he'd be too engrossed in his own problems and just forget the whole outburst. As she walked into the Great Hall, her path was blocked by Remus and Sirius, both who looked like they hadn't slept at all.

"Where's James?" Siruis asked, his voice quiet. Lily looked at the floor and mumbled that he was asleep in the Head Common Room. Remus looked at Lily, then exchanged a glance with Sirius, who shrugged.

"Lily?" Remus asked tentatively, "Do you know what that letter said?" Lily looked up, confused. Hadn't those two gone running after James? Remus seemed to know what she was thinking. He just shrugged his shoulders and said "He kind of... locked us out of your dorms. We didn't have the password to get in..and..well... he kind of told us to bugger off... though his wording was a tad...cruder."

"The password is 'Tinsel Lights'... he's asleep and... look, today is going to suck for him, so just be there for him, please... just be there". Pushing past them, Lily wondered what those first few days would have been like if she had had someone to comfort her... but nope, she had always been a loner. Not really a big deal, she preferred to be alone, quiet in the library... studying... it was just who she was.

No real enemies (in school, anyways), especially since she and James had started this little truce-thing, but no real friends either. Just her... as she sat down, she turned to see Remus and Sirius walking out of the Hall, both confused at how Lily had become such an expert on what James was feeling. They were his best friends and had no clue what was going on.

James was still sleeping when Sirius and Remus came in, whispering heatedly about how to confront James. He hadn't wanted to talk to them the night before, and now with Lily's words hanging over their heads, neither knew what to do. Sirius wanted to wake James up and confront him directly. Remus wanted to wait until James woke up, then try to help James deal with whatever was going on. Turns out, Remus won because James woke up before the pair could decide what to do.

"Remus, Sirius? What are you doing here?" James asked groggily, wiping his face of the last remains of tears. Sirius was surprised James had been crying... the last time he had cried was when his grandmother had died. His eyes suddenly grew wide and he looked at Remus, who was studying their friend intently, wondering what could be wrong.

"J-J-James..."Sirius began in a shakey voice. He cleared his throat, "That letter. Did it... did it say something about someone d-" James threw a crumpled piece of paper at Sirius, but it only flew about 2 feet with James' half-hearted effort. James was still in the chair he had fallen asleep in, and for a few glorious moments he had remembered nothing of the day before. Then reality had to come crashing down.

"It was Voldermont. He.. he killed..." James stopped and rubbed his eyes, which began to water again. He took a deep breath and tried again. "He killed-"

"Rosa." Sirius finished for him. Remus was now reading the letter Sirius had dropped after reading the first paragraph. The three boys all had bleak expressions and lifeless eyes. Remus sunk into the nearest chair, his head in his hands. Sirius' legs seemed to collapse from under him, because suddenly he was sitting on the floor, his face emotionless. James was just staring into the fire, trying not to think of anything at all... because he knew that the only thing he would think about was her. A silence came over the trio... all of them lost in thought... all of them thinking of one girl.

Rosa is- was James' younger sister. Her birthday was in January...she was about to turn 7 years old. Even thought there was a 10 year difference between the two, James and his sister were extremely close. Meaning, of course, that Remus and Sirius had spent a lot of time around the little one as well, loving her like she was their younger sister as well. She was so young... so innocent... James could still see her, with her long, brown hair flying all over the place, her grey eyes sad as the train pulled away. And that was the last time he was ever going to see her. He would never see her smile or hear her laugh. His last memory of his beloved sister was of her crying because he had to leave her again... and this time, he wouldn't be coming home to her bear hugs or her warm welcomes.

Why did he have to stay at Hogwarts this winter break? Because, a little voice in the back of his head said sadly, you never considered the fact that you would never see her again. You just took it for granted that she would always be there... James didn't like these feelings he was having... all this sadness and confusion... no, anger was much easier to deal with... and he had plenty of it.

"Dammit!" he swore as he banged his fist on the table. On a normal day, Remus would have made some sarcastic comment like 'Did you think you were hitting a pillow or something [insert eye roll]. Of course it will hurt if you bang your fist on the table...no need to swear' while Sirius laughed about his mate hurting himself yet again... But this wasn't a normal day... nothing was normal. James felt his anger rise and he was glad... he felt empowered... in control... but, his power was fleeting... as soon as he thought of his sister again, all he felt was pain. He let his head rest in his hands.

"She wasn't even 7 years old yet... how could he do that to her?" James asked to no one in particular. No one answered. Silence engulfed them once again. It was driving him crazy... there was no noise that went undetected... the creak of a floorboard as Sirius moved his foot.... Remus leaned back, making the chair squeak... the crackling of the dying fire... it was all too much...the little noises...they kept building in his head... over and over... James felt like he was going crazy. He stood up abruptly, knocking his chair down in the process.

"Let's go prank Snape.. we haven't in a while, have we?" He asked, trying to sound as normal as possible. Maybe... maybe if he pretended it didn't happen, it'd go away. He couldn't take it... the pity... the grief... the pain. James had never felt anything so real before... so strong that it made him want to rip his own heart out, just to make it stop. But, it wouldn't. Nothing would ever be normal again. He realized it when Sirius didn't jump up at the chance to prank anyone, especially Snape. All both of them did was stare at James in disbelief... James couldn't stay there anymore...it couldn't be real... he refused to believe it... she was at home, playing with dolls or something... he had to conviced himself she was fine... but it didn't work...she wasn't fine and neither was he....

Lily was torn. Spend the day hiding out in the library or try to get into her dorm to get her school things... she couldn't summon them without hurting some people [and paintings] in the process... dilemma, dilemma.... She didn't want to disturb James...whomever he had lost, they must have been someone special... someone he really loved. She didn't think she could handle seeing him like like... plus, he was bound to ask her questions...she just HAD to open her bloody mouth, didn't she? Suddenly she felt a complusive need to hit herself in the head... She should have just kept her mouth closed... no one would have to know anything... and she'd be safe...

Sighing, she decided against going back to the dorm. Better to hide out in the library and go hex-hunting than attempt a rescue mission to her dorm for her assignments...besides, all she had left was an essay for Potions...due in three days... no problem... Her time would be much better spent preparing herself for her Auror training, which started (hopefully)after she graduated. Lily didn't want to wait, she was ready to start her training ASAP. She had already applied, but they wouldn't be answering her until after her NEWTS came...they needed those scores to accept her. But until then, Lily was concentrating more on learning as many spells, hexes, and curses she possibly could.

The more she knew, the better her chances were at defeating Voldermont... She wanted- no, she needed- to be a part of his downfall...no matter how small the part ...that's why she was going to be an Auror...why she worked so hard...why she spent so much time in the library... she was going to be ready for him and his little minions... no matter what.

No one knew of her ambitions, but even if they did, Lily didn't care how insane, how dark, how angry she sounded... it was the only thing that kept her from dying right then and there... her family had been everything to her, and he took them away... she wanted to hurt him as much as she possibly could... She was going to prove that just because he killed her MUGGLE family didn't mean she was broken... she used her anger as an escape from everything, her pain, her sadness, anything....And now, it felt like she had lost her family all over again... the pain she felt...the heart-wrenching feeling was clawing its way through her and it pissed her off... she felt her anger return, full force.

She felt enpowered, strong, and ready to take on the world... The more she thought of everyone he had hurt, had killed, the angrier she got... but she knew she couldn't defeat him...not yet... she needed to know more, needed to be stronger...better... she headed to the library, straight to the defense sections and began pulling out the dusty volumes, preparing herself for a nice afternoon, studying in the quiet library, thoughts of vengence and sorrow running through her head.

GUESS WHAT! if you review, i'll get the next chappie out REALLY REALLY fast... like... fast fast fast. anyways, i got homework to do...so...yeah... reviewers get lollipops!! [you just hafta tell me what flavor!]