Chapter 4

Back at Darth Warious' house Darth Maul was laying down the ground rules for living with the two Sith.

"Never interrupt me when I'm meditating.

Never interrupt Warious when she is meditating.

Never annoy me.

Never annoy Warious; she won't hesitate to kill you.

Never touch me.

Never touch Warious.

And never ever get either of us mad."

"But how am I supposed to do all this?" Zsinj asked after Maul had given him and hour's worth of rules.

Maul shrugged. "You can live someplace else and not have to worry about my rules. If you want to live here Warious will also have another set of rules. They are longer as she is more through on the subject."

Zsinj groaned and sagged to the ground in despair.

"Regardless of what you choose, you will clean up this mess in the back yard before you go."

Zsinj began to wish he had taken Han Solo's offer of kissing his Wookiee instead of ending up here.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

"Warious?!?" a very excited green-haired Jedi padawan asked screeching and bouncing.

"You are the Éowyn I'm to meet with for the sets and props?" Warious replied unsure.

"Eh? Oh yeah. Éowyn paused, looked confused for a long while. "Oh...yeah...right...well...let's get started on it...after I get food!"

Two and a half hours later, the two of them had ate all warheads in nearby area, and succeeded in actually planning out the house, though Éowyn had also managed to eat enough to fill three Hobbits in the meantime as well.

"That ought to cover everything the house needs," Warious said after they had finished going over all of the ideas they had for the house of horror.

"Yep. Does Darth Maul really live with you?" Éowyn asked eager for more information.

"Yes he really lives with me, and yes he is the REAL Darth Maul. But don't go telling anybody." Warious replied. "We had a strange incident this morning before I headed over here."

"Oh?"

"Well, do you remember the Aaron Allston books in the X-Wing series?"

"Ummmm...no? Sorta?" She shrugged, and looked confused again. But then, she was always confused-- even more so when facing a Sithly internet friend.

"Do you remember Warlord Zsinj?" Warious continued.

"Sort of... I think... well, he was in your fan fictions, right?"

"Yeah, well, he landed in my backyard this morning and I don't know what I should do to get rid of him," Warious said flatly, clearly annoyed with the whole business.

Éowyn blinked, and got a very evil look in her eyes for a moment. "He landed in your backyard?!" Éowyn grinned slightly. "I only wish ANAKIN would go and crash in my backyard," she mused. "Oh... well... couldn't you just be very annoying until he decides to go away? Or can I go and flirt with him?"))

"Are you sure you want to do that?" Warious asked both concerned and skeptical. "He was hitting on me and I'm the last person to do that too. He's pretty desperate for female attention. And he's almost as fat as Jabba."

Éowyn shrugged. "Good point...but I HAVE to be annoying. It's my number one goal in life...okay, next to marrying Anakin and actually getting away with stealing my Master's lightsaber, that is...but...still..." she amended. "All right, so...what is the easiest way to annoy a warlord?"

"That's a good question, next question?"

Suddenly, there was a sudden flash of orange and purple fog (never mind the fact that fog doesn't flash.) Éowyn blinked, and stared in awe at the fog, along with all of the other slightly weak-minded people in the vicinity (not including Warious in that number, of course.) "Um...next question..." she repeated, still staring at the pointless fog. "Okay...well...I suppose we have to find out, right?"

Warious waved and imperious hand at the fog and it disappeared. "My apologies that happens sometimes. I mean that I have no real clue as to how to annoy Zsinj. I think I might just have Maul bully him..." Warious trailed off and grinned maniacally at the thought.

Returning the grin, Éowyn sat back down, running a hand through her unnaturally green hair (got that way from meddling in the affairs of wizards...), not even knowing how she had got to be standing up. "Now there's an idea. Now... where are we going?" To translate, she was confused. Not that that was anything new...

"You are going to take care of the prop arrangements while I go to 'take care' of my new 'friend'," Warious told the confused Jedi from Canada.

Warious got in her car and began to think of ways to hopefully get rid of her new pest problem...