Nobody's Home
Chapter Two: Through an Angel's Eyes…
"Bitch! Fucking whore!" he screamed, throwing random objects at me. I muffled a scream as a threw my hands over my head to stop the glass from the vodka glass from hitting my head. "Stupid cunt! Get the fuck out of my house now!" He screamed as he went to get the dish that held his bacon and eggs. He lifted it up and the food slid off the white plate, dropping on the floor. I ran quickly to the door after grabbing my backpack. My heart thundered in my chest as I leaned against the door, wincing as I heard the plate colliding with it. It was raining lightly and I only had on a short sleeved T-shirt. My jacket was in my room. I didn't bother to get it. It would just make him madder. I was lucky I got out with only a few light bruises. I shifted my backpack to my right shoulder. I stood outside my house and looked up at it. I stayed there for a few moments before making my way to the park. I could probably hide out there until the rain stopped. Thankfully school was over. I don't like to go to school without my cover up on.
She walks to school with the lunch she packed
Nobody knows what she holding back
Wearing the same dress as yesterday
She hides the bruises with linen and lace…oh
It was last period, the period I dread everyday. My class is Life Skills. Its pretty much a waste of time, but its an easy A and A's make him happy so that's fine with me. Today we were starting our new unit: abuse. My teacher droned on and on about harassment in the schools and work places. I would rather have that then what I go through everyday. She then started up with child abuse.
"Most children who are abused sadly end up turning out like their parentsand will abuse there own children." She read sadly from the sheet of paper. I could feel the tears starting to sting my eyes. I would never, never end up like him.
"Bullshit…" I whispered. She looked up at me and asked me to repeat what I said.
"I said 'Bullshit'. What you said about children who are abused will end up like their parents. That isn't true. Think about it! Do you really think that someone who had to grow up with some monster would really want to grow up and cause their children the same pain?" I could feel everyone's eyes on me. I never spoke up in class. The teacher and the class was silent. Everyone's eyes were on me, but I there was one pair that seemed to burn a whole in my back the most. I turned my head towards the window and watched the rain come down. Eventually they all got back to the lecture, but I could still feel that one pair of eyes on my back.
I walked into the lunch, people pushed their way into me, completely ignoring the fact that I was there. They made me lose my balance and drop my tray full of food. I went to pick up the tray and someone stepped on my hand. Tears sprung into my eyes as pain shot up my wrist. I picked up my tray and threw it out. I walked towards the empty table in the corner. I kept my head down. I didn't want anyone to see me cry. As I was walking by this one table I felt a pair of eyes on my again. I wrapped my arms around myself and walked faster to the table. I looked around at the groups of friends all over the large room. I looked over to my right and saw Sango and Miroku. They were so cute together. Sometimes I would hang out with them. I wouldn't say that we were good friends, they were just people who let me eat with them and talk with sometimes. Besides that I didn't have anyone…but him.
The teacher wonders but she never ask
Its hard to see the pain behind the mask
Barring the burden of a secret storm
Sometimes she wishes she was never born
I finally found the eyes that were always watching me. They belonged to a boy in my Life Skills class. I was looking up at my house again, remember the times where I would play hide and go seek with my mom and how I use to climb out on the roof at night and watch the stars when I was little. It wasn't until I felt that familiar feeling of being watched did I break my dreamy gaze from the top windows. I looked across the street and made eye contact with him for the first time.
We stood there for a few moments. His eyes were the most beautiful eyes I ever saw. They were a pure gold color and contrasted beautifully with his sliver hair. His eyes held so much emotion in them. Feelings flashed across them so quickly I couldn't make all of them out! The bond was broken as quickly as it was started. He turned his head and kept walking until he turned the corner.
I felt suddenly cold. I shivered and walked up the stairs of the porch and into the hell hole I call a home. I kept my head down like I always do and slipped my sneakers off and gently put my bag down by the door.
"Kagome! Get your ass in here now!" I heard him scream. I jumped at his voice and quickly made my way to the kitchen. I walked up to him and bent my head lower.
"Yes sir?" I asked quietly.
"Look at me when you speak to me! I won't be having you giving me any of that sassy! I won't stand for it! Do you hear me?" he screamed in my face. I closed my eyes as spit and the stench of alcohol flew over my face.
"Yes sir." I said quietly, but this time with my face up. I didn't make eye contact. I couldn't.
"What was that?!" he yelled like a sergeant would at his troops.
"I said Yes sir!" I said louder, still with no eye contact.
"I told you to look at me when you spoke to me!" He said as he back handed me across the face. The force of the blow knocked me off my balance and I feel to the floor. I used one hand to balance myself on the floor and the other to cup my bruising cheek. He kicked me hard, knocking me down again. I let out a sob and that set him off.
"SO NOW YOU ARE GONNA CRY ABOUT IT? YOU DESERVE IT YOU LITTLE FUCK!" he screamed as he kept kicking me in my stomach. Tears fell down my cheeks. "STOP FUCKING CRYING!" he cried and started to kick me all over. I put my hands over my in an attempt to block the blows. I took a shuttered breath as after I felt the attacks stop.
"Get up." He ordered calmly at first. I couldn't get up. "I said get up now!" Again I couldn't get up. My heart started to pump harder as thoughts of my punishment flew into my mind. "Bitch when I say get up I mean get the fuck up!" He bent down and grabbed my arm. He dug his rough fingers in to my arm ad I scrunched up my face in pain.
He brought my face close to his and he breathed heavily in my face. "When I say something to you, you listen! Got it?" He grabbed both my arms and lifted me off the ground, tears were pouring out of my eyes from the feeling of his nails and fingers digging into me. "GOT IT?!" he screamed in my face.
"Yes sir!" I told him loudly, this time with my eyes open. "I'm sorry, sir, it won't happen again!" I told him.
"Good." He muttered and threw me to the side causing me to slide across the floor and hit the cabinets. "Now clean this place, it look likes a fucking dump.
Somebody cries in the middle of the night
The neighbors hear but turn out the lights
A fragile soul caught in the hands of fate
When morning comes it will be too late
I ran through the dark streets, the cold air cutting me like a knife every time I drew breath. I held my side as sprinted towards the school. It was the only place where I felt safe. Luckily the last game of the football season was this Sunday so the team had a late practice and the doors where unlocked. I ran up the steps when I heard a car door slam shut behind me. It was him! He followed me here! I threw open the doors and tried run down the hallways. I was short of breath and legs and stomach where killing me. I was almost to the corner of E hallway when he grabbed me and slammed me against the locker, the lock going into my back.
"Thought you were pretty smart didn't you? Thought you could run away from huh?" he said through clenched teeth. He slammed me against the locker and I cried out softly as the lock rammed into my back. "Thought you were so fucking smart to come here, well I got news for you bitch, you ain't fucking smart! You should know by now that you can't run from me!" he threw me against the locker, this time letting me go and fall roughly on the ground. "Now get up!" I pushed my upper body up off the ground and he kicked me again. I fell again and he yelled at me to get up. I lifted myself up again and looked up. My eyes met gold ones. I tried to silently beg him to do something! Anything! He stared back at me! Why was he staring at me?! Why wasn't it he helping me?! I tried to whisper "help me!' but he turned the corner and my father kicked me again. I started to cry silently and pushed myself up off the floor. I steadied myself against the metal lockers.
When I finally got home my father whipped my back with his belt. Then I carefully trudged my way to my room, but stopped in the bathroom first. I closed my door and feel on my bed. Tears streamed down my cheeks as I held the razor close to my chest. That was the first time I tried to kill myself. It didn't work…I couldn't cut deep enough, but for some sick reason it felt good and that scared me. I passed out after an hour and I woke up for the first time with a smile on my face.
Through the wind and the rain
She stands hard as a stone
In a world that's she can't rise above
But her dreams give her wings
And she flies to a place where she's loved
Concrete Angel
Winter break is over and I can still barely move without cause great amounts of pain. My father got drunk Christmas night and raped me. I was knocked out for most of it. I was beaten so bad before that though I could barely move and adding the pain in my tummy…and heart…I can't even function right. He must of realized that he didn't use protection so he brought me to the doctors say that I was out at a party and went home with some guy and he raped me. Thankfully I wasn't pregnant, but I had to stay there for a week and a half because I couldn't move. It was awful, yet wonderful at the same time. People kept coming in and asking me how I was doing and wanted me to talk to them about the 'date rape', but the good news was that I didn't see him for the whole time.
Going back to school was hard. I still couldn't walk well and if I was too slow for the kids behind me they would push me to the side and make me fall down. People would step on me or my books when I would try to pick them up. It was like the clouds opened up and god said "Fuck you Kagome!"
A statue stands in a shaded place
An angel girl with an upturned face
Her name is written on a polished rock
A broken heart that the world forgot
He found me writing a letter to my mom about what was going around here. He was so calm about it…it was scary. Carefully he took if from my hands and read it over and then he laughed. It was cruel and full of hate. Then he ripped it up and threw the piece in my face…still laughing. What was wrong with him…he should be mad right now. I should be on the floor crying!
Then everything went back to normal. He grabbed my head between his two big dirt hands and started to squeeze and shake my head.
"I thought I told you I didn't want you to write to that bitch you call a mother!" He let go of my face and slapped me. I snapped my head back towards him.
"Don't you dare call her a bitch!" I yelled back. He looked surprised that I talked back to him for once.
"What did you say?" he asked me with an evil glint in his eye.
"You heard what I said! I told you not to call her a bitch you FUCKING BASTARD!" I screamed on the top of my lungs. He grabbed me by the collar of my shirt, giving me a hard shake, before throwing me backwards over the chair.
"BITCH WATCH YOUR MOUTH WHEN YOU'RE TALKIN' TO ME! I WON'T PUT WITH ANY OF THIS FUCKING SHIT!" he yelled.
I started to crawl backwards from him and I hit the corner of the wall. I pushed myself as close to it as possible. He drew it right leg back and kicked me hard in the chest. I cried out as the air was knocked out of me. Tears sprang into my eyes as slid the floor. He kicked me again as I drew myself into a ball.
"STUPID BITCH! GOOD FOR NOTHING UNGRATEFUL CUNT! I KNEW I SHOULD OF MADE YOUR MOTHER GET RID OF YOU WHEN SHE TOLD ME SHE HAD YOU! YOU'RE THE WORST MISTAKE GOD COULD OF MADE!" he shouted. He kicked me again and again and again. I crying really hard now. I didn't care if he could hear me any more.
"I'm sorry daddy! I'm sorry! Please no more! Please daddy no more! No more! Please!" I sobbed. He picked me up by my arm, which was by now probably broken, and threw me towards the door. I hit my dresser and the edge of it went into my stomach. I coughed and cried and he pushed me out the door.
He punch me across the face making me fall into the wall. He picked me up by hair, dragged me to the stairs, and threw me down them. I tumbled and turned down them and landed head first on the floor. I couldn't get up. I could hear him running down the stairs and shoved my thigh, making me fall all the way onto the floor.
"GET UP!"
I couldn't…
"GET UP NOW!"
"Please daddy…" I whimpered. I couldn't left my head or feel my arms and legs. I could barley feels the tears running down my face. He grabbed me by the back of my neck and squeezed the pressure points there while he picked me up. He forced me to look right into his face. I couldn't focus on his face (not that I wanted to) or anything else of that matter. He brought his face close enough to mine so that our noses were barely touching.
"You're an ungrateful bitch you know that right?" he muttered angrily through clenched teeth. I tried to nod my head but I couldn't move it. "And you are the worst mistake of my life. Nobody wants you. Nobody cares about you. Hell, I'll bet that no one will even show up…"
He didn't have to finish. I knew from the moment he found me writing my letter to Mama that this was most likely to be my last night. I'm not scared because didn't mama once say that angel went to heaven? She always use to call me an angel when we were together. If I go to heaven I know I will be loved there.
There wasn't gonna be anyone to push me into lockers or make fun of me. I won't have to deal with this every day. I'll be happy and loved for the first time in a long time. I tried to smile…I couldn't barely move my mouth.
"God I hate you!" he told me before he threw me into the glass table. It cracked under my weight and the force I was thrown at it. I couldn't feel the glass cutting me, but I knew it happened. He picked me up by my hair again and smacked and kicked me a few times.
The room was spinning and he dragged me outside into the snow by my hair. My mind and my vision where blurry and it felt as though I was trying to breath in cotton. I could even feel my heart beat slowing down. He dragged me across the snow, I could hear it crunching under his feet. He threw me down but not with out kicking me really hard in the side, though I lost all feeling by now, and spat on me. I could hear him trudging back to the house. I opened my eyes and saw white with red blurs.
I tried not to think about how hard it was to breath or how my vision kept going in and out. I wanted to go with a happy thought in my head so I thought of the boy that would watch me. His eyes were the first thing that popped into my mind. They were so beautiful. I just concentrated on them. I didn't even realize that my breathing was too far apart and the last thing I remember before my mind finally stopped was the color gold.
Through the wind and the rain
She stands hard as stone
In a world that she can't rise above
But her dreams give her wings
And she flies to a place where she's loved
Concrete Angel
The End
A/N: Well there you go. Finally done…Man I am in tears now. Yea…I hope you all like it! -sigh- Well that's it and now I am off to bed…after I start working on the next chapter for I Hate Everything About You.
-Nora Wall