A/N: Hi guys…. Well I don't own Beyblades or the characters linked to it. I don't own the poems at the end of every chapter unless stated otherwise. I own my characters.... Bret, May, Kate and the others that aren't from any Beyblade series… I own the plot and story line as it was my very creative juices that came up with it XP… well so yeah R&R
Guys please I know but please read the song lyrics they player a major part to the story line… and yeah… well they are annoying and make the story take longer to read but if you don't you miss out on some hints ok… well enjoy..
Can I Ever Forgive You?
Part 13
The burning sun found it's way through the minutest gap between my heavy closed curtains. Casting a dim ere light throughout the spacious bedroom.
I sat with my back against the foot of the bed, staring ahead, my eyes glued to the back of the sofa as I slowly rocked back and forth. My knees were drawn to my chest and my arms were wrapped tightly around them.
Numb.
That's all I felt.
Nothing else pasted through my body, not a thought not a feeling, I felt hollow and empty!
My friends were gone.
I had pushed Bret far away, with words that I could never take back. Hurtful, spiteful, words that would have struck him at the core. No one can ever take words like that back, not me not anyone and it was my fault.
I continued to stare ahead, the sofa back just happening to be there. My mind was heavy with guilt, pain and sheer emptiness. Thoughts now slowly started to leek into my mind.
What had I done?!?
What was I doing!?!
What was I?!?
I had ruined everyone's lives, dragging them down with my own piety existence.
The rest I could find no answer to, it was true WHAT was I doing?? WHAT was I?? I was nothing…
Eyes still fixed ahead, I slowly unwound my arms from my knees and allowed my legs to slide down, spread out on the soft carpet floor.
Taking a deep saddened breath I looked over to the clock, 11:54am. I was going to be late, but I really didn't care.
I just felt like being swallowed up into a never-ending pit, to drown in a pool of black hate, to drift away on a piecing scream of pain to a world or place which I knew would still give me no peace.
But here, right now, I was a muddle of messed up feelings, there was no way I would find peace, not with what I am.
I took another deep, rugged breath, before hauling myself onto my attacked legs.
I feel satisfaction when I slice into my skin; the deserved pain that gives my body warmth, which takes me on a journey that sets me free.
I feel accomplishment when I look apon the thin red marks on my legs. They are wounds that echo my inner pain, they are my passage to peace at last, I know I will never go all the way and find true peace, as I'm too scared.
It never occurs to me what people might think if they found out, probably horrified, they wouldn't know what to do, they wouldn't understand…
But do I……
Stumbling I walked over to the darkened ensuite door, pushing all thoughts to the back of my head, I had to focus on just getting ready.
Throwing the door open I walked in, discarding my various night garments onto the white tiled floor.
Slowly and painfully I stepping into the shower, quickly turning the tap around.
Water gushed out of the showerhead like a waterfall and pelted down onto my red and torn skin, washing away most of the evidence from the previous nights doings off my legs.
The water didn't seem to wash away the invisible filth that covered my body like a thick coat of mud.
Taking the soap I scrubbed my arms and body attempting to get rid of the feeling, the icky dirty feeling of guilt, sadness, darkness, and loneliness.
My skin was spotless, red raw, with the hard scrubbing I had done trying to rid the feeling from my body, but I still felt filthy. It wasn't that I was dirty on the outside, I was just black inside, it's poison leaking out into my flesh.
Tears streaked silently down my red cheeks as I rested my head on the wall, the tiles making imprints on my forehead as I just stood their.
My eyes resting on a note I had scrawled on there some days before, its tiny writing triggering more thoughts to flow through my head as the tears continued.
'Do you feel the pain of the scars that won't heel?'
Was this what life was all about?
The immense pain and suffering??
The torture of feeling??
The loneliness that you felt when everyone just left?
The ache in your heart when you lay eyes on something you destroyed?
The strong feeling of not wanting to live??
The darkness that surrounded your every move??
Did everyone feel this hate towards life, the hate that made you want to not live anymore? Or is it just the warped and twisted me??
With great difficulty I lifted my heavy head off the tiles and turned the water off, fumbling with the shower door I stumbled out onto the icy floor of the bathroom.
My blank eyes roamed silently around the dark rooming, the only light coming in from the skylight above. Moving with out thinking I grabbing a royal blue towel from the rack and lightly wiped myself down. I tightly wrapping it around my body, engulfing myself in a warm damp feeling which ran cycles around my fragile body.
With a light groan I walked over to the door and opened it, the sound of my feet padding across the carpet was heard as I walked over to my wardrobe.
I roughly opened the oak doors and quickly ran my eyes over the various dark garments I owned. Soon after I started to search through the mass of clothing I found some items which I felt suited my feeling.
I yanked out a pair of large, baggy, black pants, a black tank top that had 'Back Off' in large white letters on the front and a long sleaved, yellow mesh top to wear underneath the tank.
I snatched my white skate shoes into my hand before piling the clothes in my arms and walking back into the gloomy ensuite.
I stood there staring at the mirror. It's reflection showing an image I'd rather not look at.
My fair skin had turned ghostly pale, my hair was bushed making me seem at least descent, the black pants sat even lower then they use to on my hips, nearly falling off. The tank was snug around my torso, showing off my even skinner frame, the bright yellow mesh sleaves flared out around my wrists.
My face had light make up around my eyes and lips, giving me a little colour. I had a chain clasped around my neck and that was all I could be bothered doing.
I continued to stare at the slowly deteriorating me, I was slowly killing myself and I wouldn't accept that, I deserved what I got.
"What is wrong with me?"
I stared at my reflection, running my eyes over the worn figure in front of me.
"When did everything start going wrong?"
Sighing heavily, I turned and slumped out of the bathroom.
"Time to face everyone, Time to see may. I'm ready to go back. I think……"
I forced a small smile onto my face as I shoved my wallet into my pocket, hooking the chain onto my pants.
I grabbed my mobile on the way out the door, switching it on I ran as fast as I could down the front steps of the house and into the awaiting taxi, that was going to take me to my destination, my hell.
She is lonely
Even though you can't tell
She is reaching out
For what, she doesn't know
She will continue to sit in silence
And hope that someone may stumble across
Her and all of her emptiness
But they only hope that they do it in time
Otherwise she will have drifted too far
And she may let go
Of whatever grasp of the world she has
As she slowly fades out of the lives of everyone
Nearly unnoticed
The taxi pulled up along side the wooden railings, which marked the top of the park hill. Without looking outside, I handed the driver his cash silently before sliding out.
I listened to the door close, it's sound signalling no escape. Taking a deep ragged breath I turned slowly around.
My eyes scanned the expanse of park, which was below me. I was on the top of the first hill, which looked over the plateau below me, the park that held the concert.
It was packed! At the left side of the flat, a huge stage with metal beams containing fancy lights towered over the people on stage. Large speakers were coming out in various different places, scattered out in the crowd. There was already a whole close mass of people bobbed around to a band.
Assorted beer and food stands was on the other side, a few people were milling around there, some looked already half drunk as they stumbled around, arms slung over various other people, mostly girls.
Looking ahead I could see over the second hill which lead down onto the crisp clean beach, the dark green water rolling softly into the shore, the beach was empty, only occupied by a few lovers.
The bright cheerful sun glinted of the trillions of tiny pieces of glass that made up the beach.
Looking further out onto the ocean I could see dark storm clouds, thick with a grey haze which was rain. Storms always travelled along the coast, but never come close enough to affect the town, so there was nothing to really worry about, it would just past.
Taking in a breath, I walked down the steep hill, heading to the concert. Instantly when I reached the bottom I was thrown into the massive jumping crowd, they were screaming along to a repeated song that I knew.
I am the girl you know, can't look you in the eye
I am the girl you know, so sick I cannot try
And I am the one you want, can't look you in the eye
I am the girl, you know I lie, I lie and lie
I pushed my way through the screaming, bobbing, moshing mass, as they took no attention to anyone else. I growled as I pushed one of the guys over as he strayed to close to me. I was already not enjoying this. What's the point? But I had to stay. I had to see May.
I'm miss world, somebody kill me
Kill me pills
No one cares, my friends
My friends
I'm miss world, watch me break and watch me burn
No one is listening, my friend
I had to stop for a breather, pushing my way through the close mingled mass of bodies was proving to be tiering.
Pushing and shoving, pushing and shoving, people stepping on your feet, getting hit and whacked. It isn't fun unless you want to join in but I didn't, I just wanted to find some quite spot to stand and watch the bands.
My reflex action took control as I quickly moved out of the way, as some one tumbled backward, nearly pushing me over in the process as well.
Growling I turned and made my way further away from the mosh pit, heading to the outer rim of only single jumpers and swayers.
I pushed through a group and came face to face with Johnny, who was dancing with some blonde haired girl, that I recognised from the year below us at school.
A shiver ran down my spin as I realised how they were dancing, if you could call it dancing. They were pressed up so close together and swaying that you call it more 'four play'.
I cringed and turned around in disgust.
"Try hard."
I muttered as I weaved my way in a different direction, still heading further away.
Now I've made my bed, I'll lie in it
I've made my bed, I'll die in it
I've made my bed, I'll lie in it
I've made my bed, I'll die in it
I felt a body in my back; my feet stumbled across the ground as I was pushed in the side, sending me stumbling into some solid tall figure.
"Oh fuck it."
I growled, straightening up, this was hell.
"My what language you have Kitten."
"Robert?"
Looking up I met a pair of laughter filled browny/red eyes.
"Robert."
I smiled, hugging him lightly.
I was glad he was back from holidays, I hadn't seen him all week and it just made my burden worse. I could tell Robert things that I felt uncomfortable telling anyone else. But there were still things I liked to keep a secret, from everyone…
"Never thought you'd be here."
I asked, knowing that this was something he normally wouldn't go to.
He just raised an eyebrow and smirked down at me.
"Need to do something after spending my holiday coped up on my arse. But I heard you weren't to well, so I'm surprised to see you."
He said in honesty, his words creating a bigger void in the pit of my stomach.
Cute girls watch when I eat ether
Suck me under
Maybe forever, my friend
Now I've made my bed, I'll lie in it
I've made my bed, I'll die in it
I've made my bed, I'll cry in it
I've made my bed, I'll lie in it
"I've been fine."
I lied softly, shifting my gaze away from him onto the ground.
I am the girl you know, can't look you in the eye
"Do you know what band is up next?"
I asked quickly changing the subject.
I could hear the ending of the song come to a close and see the band, moving to pack up.
"Some band called Garbage Day?? Don't know who they are?"
"Yeah, well it is people from all over town."
"Hmmm, yeah."
I just looked at Robert as he stood there, a smile of amusement gracing his lips. Finally I realised that there was a brown haired girl standing beside him, her big blue eyes highlighted by her eye make up.
"Hello."
She said, smiling as she saw I had noticed her.
"Hi."
I muttered, just looking at her. I didn't know her and didn't really what to be friend, not now, I didn't want to ruin anyone else's life.
"Oh Kate this is Meg, she goes to a school across town."
"Ok."
"You ok Kitten?"
"Just fine Robert, truly I am."
"Right."
"I better go, I'll see if I can get a better look at this band."
I told him quietly, wanting to find a peaceful space for myself quickly.
"Ok Kitten, see you round."
"Yeah bye."
I turned slowly and started walking through the crowd towards a high point near the back, which was still close to the stage, but because it was an awkward angle no one really wanted to stand there.
My eyes focused on the floor mostly, making sure I didn't trip over discarded drink bottles.
I slowly climbed the hill and reached the peak in seconds, I sat down on the damp grass and pulled my knees to my chest, resting my chin on my knees lightly wrapping my arms around my legs.
I sat there for a while, staring at an ant in front of my foot, watching as it was being attacked by a bigger black bug.
I could see the panic flood through the ant as it started to scurry in all directions, trying to find a way to escape, but it never made it to safety as it was quickly eaten by the bigger black insect.
For some reason I felt like that ant, tiny in a big world with many safe places but never finds them and in the end is swallowed hole by a big black nothingness.
My vision focussed and I looked up, just looking at the stage paying nearly no attention, my eyes slowly roaming over the stage, the band members.
I looked to the girl who was reaching for the microphone.
It felt as my world slowed down to a halt. My eyes locked on the figure as she gripped the mechanical object firmly in her hand, a small sad smile gracing her lips as she stood their in all her glory.
There, taking the microphone at the front of the enormous stage, was May. Her cousins band members scattered out behind her.
But I didn't really notice, my eyes and mind were locked, I just stared at her.
She had changed. She looked like she had been through the toughest times of her life, her eyes held such confused that I had never seen before. She was different, changed since the last time I saw her.
But through every change she still had the same atmosphere around her. She stood tall and confident, just like she always did, the feel of don't mess with me surrounded her, the powerful look and knowing just itched into her frame and figure.
And as always she wore her own style, which I had grown accustom to, it was just her, May.
She was wearing a pair of charcoal grey cargo's that sat dangerously low on her hips. A spiked black belt was wrapped loosely over the top.
She had a firm fitting, black t-shirt on that read, 'Mess with me…' and I knew it had ' and you will need more then a face replacement' on the back. That was one of her most favourite tops in the world.
Underneath she had a long sleeved, fine black mess top that had thick bands around the wrists and the neck, making it stand out.
On her left wrist she had two spiked bands while on the other she just had chains. Around her neck was a studded dog collar.
Her black tipped white long bangs hung down along her face, highlighting her icy red eyes. The rest of her shoulder blade long, white, black evenly spaced streaked hair was pulled up into a high tight ponytail, leaving it to run along the middle of her back.
Her eyes were darkly shaded in with black make-up giving her the evil look she always had.
That was May, my Gothic friend that stood up for her beliefs, who battled anyone and who loved to pick fights and tease the hot shots of the school. My back bone.
I just stood there like a statue, watching as her eyes slowly scanned the crowd in the very front.
Suddenly the frozen world that everyone was suspended in came crashing down. Everyone started moving again and May started to talk.
"Hello."
She spoke, her voice bringing a sudden light into my dark world.
"Our band is called Garbage Day and we are just going to play two songs for you today."
The crowd was silent, before breaking out into a mixture of claps and whoops.
An evil smirk crossed May's lips as she stared at them. Turning around she indicated something to her band and a short spiked, white haired guy with deep green eyes started drumming on the drums.
A guy who had long black hair pulled loosely into a low ponytail, his gold eyes now closed and a tall red haired, blue eyed girl both on guitars, started strumming away.
May bobbed her head lightly and turned around, gripping the mic tightly, her mask revealing a minute emotion that I had never seen before.
Her voice flowed out through the speakers.
She is not scared to die..
The best things in life drive her to cry.
Crucify then learn..
Take so much away from inside you, makes no sense, you know he can't guide
You, he's your fucking shoulder to lean on, be strong!
Sit and watch me burn..
She's led to believe, that it'll be ok,
Look at your face, scarred in dismay,
But times have changed, and so have you..
I think I'd rather crucify then learn
Take so much away from inside you, makes no sense, you know he can't guide
You, he's your fucking shoulder to lean on, be strong!
Sit and watch me burn..
I'd like to take you down, and show you
Deep inside, my life my inner working
So smell and lack of inner pride,
To touch upon the surface, is not for
What it seems, I take away
My problems, but only in my dreams.
Take so much away from inside you, makes no sense, you know he can't guide
You, he's your fucking shoulder to lean on, be strong!
Crucify the learn..
Take so much away from inside you, makes no sense, you know he can't guide
You, he's your fucking shoulder to lean on, be strong!
Crucify then learn..
Sit and watch me burn..
My whole body seemed to pull to the ground, as May continued to clutch the microphone, staring off ahead into another world.
Did that song mean something?
Reason?
I watched as she finally moved and turned back around. Nodding to the band, she turned back to the microphone.
"Hope you enjoyed that, now here is the next song."
Quickly the drums and guitars started to play followed by May.
What did you say?
I couldn't hear ya from the other room,
What did you say?
C'mon TELL ME TELL ME
What did that mean?
Why don't you tell me what you really think?
What could that mean?
C'mon SAY IT JUST SAY IT
If you got something to prove, prove it!
If you got something to do, do it!
If you got something to say, fucking say it!
SPIT IT OUT
What did you say?
You need to tell me cause I need to know!
So what did you say?
C'mon TELL ME TELL ME
So what was that then?
You should think before you try to speak
Don't walk away now
I'm not FINISHED NOT FINISHED
If you got something to prove, prove it!
If you got something to do, DO IT!
If you got something to say then fuckin' say it
SPIT IT OUT
So what you're saying is that I always seem to let you down, well I'm sorry.
Fuck it just fuck it.
So what you're saying is that I always seem to let you down,
It's so easy,
Ahhhh fuck it, just fuck it.
I can't hear you when you're talking to me.
There was total silence from the crowd before they broke out into cheers and claps, whooping crazily as they jumped around. Some still moving to the beat even though the song had stopped.
May stood there on stage and smirked, staring down at them. Dark purple lights illuminating around her.
"Thank you, enjoy this wicked evening."
She turned slowly and nodded to the band, they all packed their instruments and slowly walked off stage.
May's white head disappearing into the crowd.
I couldn't move, my whole body was still frozen. Shock had taken over every inch of me.
A chilly breeze from the ocean swept over the hill and into the flat, making my hair move slightly, it's coolness seeping in. Slowly I started to move, realism hit me that May might be going, I had to find her.
In a second I was on my feet and shuffling as fast as I could down the slope without falling over. My arms flailing as I tried to steady myself at the bottom.
I looked around, my view had changed and I could no longer see over the heads of the massive crowd. All the white objects distracting my gaze, white shirts, white caps, white hair ribbons, white hair, which didn't belong to May.
Growling in frustration I thought the best thing to do was to make my way over to where she had walked off stage. I quickly started to shove my way through the mass, getting rough with people that refused to budge.
I ignored a few rude remarks that were thrown at me after I had pushed by. Rolling my eyes I shoved through another group and proceeded forward.
A large chest moving in front of me blocked my eyesight of the crowd. A light grey shirt covered the person's torso; I caught a glimpse of the maroon coloured jeans before I looked up.
"Move."
I hissed before I realised who it was.
Bryan just glared down at me, his pupils narrowed and his jaw muscles tightened.
"Don't talk to me like that wench."
I gasped. His tone was cold and emotionless, not like it ever had emotion.
"Don't call me that."
I hissed softly. My eyes lowering to the ground, unable to stare him straight in the eye.
I could hear him laugh, laughing at what I had said to him. My self-confidence plummeted and I could feel tears prick the sides of my eyes. I was pathetic… I couldn't even look him in the eyes.
"Just leave her be, she's not worth your time Bryan."
I looked wearily up to see Spencer stalk through a group of people over to us. He was two heads taller then me and was more solid then Bryan, if he wanted to do something he could.
Bryan just snorted at his friend and walked off, Spencer following quietly behind him, leaving without another word.
I was alone once more, being sucked down into my dark world once again. My mind kept hinting to me that I was spouse to be looking for someone but I was now lost in a world of dreary thoughts and feelings.
Bryan had a way of making something either grow or die with a single look, and he had just killed me. The thought of making me grow had just passed though his head like many others, his words were harsh and they had torn me up in the inside.
My mind was lost, drifting in and out of dark places.
'May'
Her name floated in through my thoughts and I was instantly pulled back into the living.
Blinking rapidly I glanced around. The light objects returning to my vision, shapes reappearing quickly along with the moving figures of people.
"May."
I gasped, all events momentarily being swiped from my mind as I quickly started pushing my way though the crowd again.
"Out of my way!"
I shouted, starting to move at a quicker pace as people actually started to move.
I was about to walk through a gap in the crowd when familiar faces and heads started to walk by.
"Bret…"
I whispered.
Hoping he would look at me but at the same time didn't, I did think I could cope. But it looked like he had heard me or just could feel my presence because he lifted his head to the side and glanced at me.
Now I wished he hadn't. The look in his eyes broke my heart. Sorrow, utter sorrow, the look of someone that had been torn down so many times and couldn't find a point to get up again.
Tears started to trickle down my face, I had brocken him… it was my fault.
"I'm sorry…"
I murmured, but he couldn't hear me as he had already pushed through the crowd and was heading towards the stage.
I looked back at Ozuma, Kai, Lee and Hitoshi as they walked slowly after him.
Kai walked straight by not even looking at me, but it was expected he was the only one out of the group I hadn't grown a close bond with, he didn't let people in easily.
I could just see the glint from Ozuma's eyes from under his flopped down fringe, his head was down, staring at the grown as he walked by. Only his eyes cast in my direction, a small sad smile on his lips.
Lee sent a small full glance at me, turning his head and smiling, before following after the others.
Hitoshi actually stopped and turned. Sending me a smile and quick wave, my heart felt lifted, someone finally! I waved back slightly, smiled sadly to him.
"Good luck."
I mouthed to him. He just smiled and nodded.
"You to."
Was his mouthed reply, Hitoshi's smile turned into line before he turned around and followed after the others.
I let out a sigh and closed my eyes, regaining my posture. Pushing away everything from my mind, I was to find may and that was what I was going to do.
I shoved through the group again and head towards the front of the stage again, I continued my rampage of pushing and shoving back before I was stopped by a neck high black stage. Glancing up I could see Bret's band setting up.
Sighing sadly I turned and looked along the black front towards the exit stairs, looking to see if I could find May.
Then white hair caught my eye, there just two meters away from the stairs, standing under the shade of an old bark tree was her, hidden in the shadows.
She was standing around talking to the band members I had seen on the stage with her earlier.
Taking in a deep breath for confidence I started over to her.
"Hello everyone, my band and I are going to play two songs for you today…."
I could hear Bret's voice from the stage as he talked into the microphone, but my eyes were glued ahead, I could see May looking up at the stage probably at Bret.
"They both hold special meaning to me as they go out to a girl that has affected me so much…."
I stopped dead in my tracks, was he talking about me?
I turned and gazed up at Bret as he looked out at the crowd, holding the microphone close to his mouth. I saw him close his eyes, a single unnoticeable tear run down his cheek, but I saw it.
Then it hit me… he was.
"She was a close friend, but I don't know where she went… well this goes out to you Kitten, I know you're here."
My heart dropped, ok what is happening? Bret?
I nearly crumbled to the ground! This was over bearing! It felt like my world was spinning so fast.
I just stared at Bret as he reached for the microphone, Lee, Ozuma, Kai and Hitoshi instantly starting the song, all the same looks plastered on there faces.
I don't want you to give it all up
And leave your own life collecting dust
And I don't want you to feel sorry for me
You never gave us a chance to be
And I don't need you to be by my side
To tell me that everything's all right
I just wanted you to tell me the truth
You know I'd do that for you
Why are you running away?
Why are you running away?
Cause I did enough to show you that iWas willing to give and sacrifice
And I was the one who was lifting you up
When you thought your life had had enoughAnd when I get close, you turn away
There's nothing that I can do or say
So now I need you to tell me the truth
You know I'd do that for youSo why are you running away?
Why are you running away?
Is it me, is it you
Nothing that I can do
To make you change your mind
Nothing that I can do
Is it a waste of time?Is it me, is it you
Nothing that I can do
To make you change your mindSo why are you running away?
Why are you running away?
...what is it I've got to say...
So why are you running away?
...to make you admit you're afraid...
Why are you running away?
I stood there in utter disbelief. He thought that way about me? And what I was doing? He was so close, he nearly understood.
I realised that Bret was now staring down at me, right into my eyes, right through to my soul and it scared me, it scared me so much. I couldn't take it.
My mind was a mess. Thoughts shooting in from every direction, I couldn't connect anything.
My eyes drifted to the floor and I turned, walking over to May. Bret said something into the microphone but I didn't here I wasn't in this world. I was going to talk to May. She would help me! She would comfort me! She would tell me what I wanted to hear.
I looked up to see her standing in the shade; the rest of the band members had gone. It was only her and it looked like she was looking for someone. She looked around before her eyes saddened and she turned slowly around heading out.
"May!"
I screamed, moving as fast as I could through the crowd. My heart was belting into my chest as I ran, shoving people away.
"May! I'm here! May!"
I screamed again. May didn't turn around she continued to walk away, she hadn't heard me.
Bret's second song flooded through the air drowning my words out as I screamed again. I was only five meters away but she was walking quickly.
Desperate for changing
Starving for truth
I'm closer to where I started
I'm chasing after you
"MAY! For gods sake May, STOP!"
Suddenly, May stopped and she turned slowly around, eyeing the crowd with a confused look. She probably didn't hear me but something told her to stop.
She always got those feelings, we would stop and then someone would come running with good or bad news.
I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held on to
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you
"May!"
I panted, breaking trough the crowd and stumbling over to her.
"May."
I breathed, looking up at her. I placed my hands on my knees and crouched over trying to gain my breath.
Forgetting all I'm lacking
Completely incomplete
I'll take your invitation
You take all of me now
She just looked at me, nothing appearing on her face. I took in a breath and stood up straight, looking up to her.
I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held on to
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you
"It's me May… Kate?"
I was getting worried, the look she had on her face looked like she didn't recognise me.
"I know who you are dip shit"
She snapped. My jaw dropped and I just looked at her, suddenly a huge grin spread across her face.
"I would never forget you K.J"
I'm living for the only thing I know
I'm running and not quite sure where to go
And I don't know what I'm tapping into
Just hanging by a moment here with you
A smile broke across my face and I couldn't help myself, I quickly embraced her in a huge.
"I thought you were gone for good, oh god May."
"I know…just cough don't strangle me… I can't breath cough…"
I quickly let go of her and took a step back, eyeing her down and smiling. Yep it was May alright.
There's nothing else to lose
There's nothing else to find
There's nothing in the world
That can change my mind
There is nothing else
There is nothing else
There is nothing else
"I thought you wouldn't show."
She said sadly.
"I'm offended to think that you thought I wouldn't turn up, the president himself couldn't stop me."
May grinned, she grabbed my arm and pulled me back to the quite shady spot near the tree.
"I've got so much to tell you."
She said, staring off ahead not looking at me.
Desperate for changing
Starving for truth
I'm closer to where I started
I'm chasing after you
She looked ahead onto stage, seeming to focus on Bret. I turned and looked at him too, not really listening to the second song that was suppose to be for me.
I was with May now, sitting in the shade. It was bliss. I felt like I was back again, back in the months before everything had gone terribly wrong.I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held on to
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you
"I know, but I already know what happened."
May turned to me sharply.
"You do!"
She blurted out in surprise.
I'm living for the only thing I know
I'm running and not quite sure where to go
And I don't know what I'm diving into
Just hanging by a moment here with you
"Yeah I heard from people at school."
"And you still showed? Even though… you know… what happened"
"Yeah, stupid prick I hate him so much, I haven't spoken to him since you left."
I stated, looking around at the crowd.
"You have."
"Yeah, Tala is a slimy little bastard."
I don't know what I said wrong but May was instantly on her feet staring down at me in horror.
"DON'T! You call Tala that! He helped me!"
May sharply turned and started to walk out into the crowd weaving her way in.
"May!"
I shouted jumping to my feet and moving quickly after her.
Just hanging by a moment
Hanging by a moment
Hanging by a moment
Hanging by a moment here with you
Bret had finished his song when I caught up with May. I had followed May and now we were somewhere in the middle of the crowd.
I quickly caught up to her and grabbed her arm, spinning her around. I could see tears in her eyes but I knew she would never let them fall.
"What? What did I say?"
"Don't you ever say anything bad about our best friend Kitten! He was there, he helped."
"No! he was the one that played you! He was the one that drove you away from me! He broke Bryan and me up!"
As soon as I said Bryan's name May seemed to cringe and a new wave of anger swept over her.
"I knew you wouldn't find the truth from people at school, he has to much power over them."
"Who! What? I don't understand! Tala played you!"
"No he didn't Kate! Don't you see it! Bryan did! He tried a move on me Kitten! That's why I left! It was Bryan!"
The world around me seemed to just crumble, everything I thought was a lie, I was blaming Tala for something he didn't do. I never listened to him! I was braking him for something he didn't DO! I was such a bitch!
"God no..."
"Hell yes Kate! It was Bryan! he tried to…. He tried, but I got away. I was so embarrassed to tell you, it would have killed you. So I told Tala, told him to help me, he said for me to go away for awhile and he'll sort it out and he did. But there was so much he could do. I bet it was Bryan who told those people to tell you Tala had played me I BET you! But never ever bad mouth Tala Kitten, never….."
The tears in her eyes were now flowing. I couldn't say anything, my jaw was opening and closing in utter shock and shame, it was Bryan!
May wiped her tear viscously away from her face with her hands. She looked at me again, waiting for me to say something, but I couldn't, there was nothing I could say, nothing.
May just turned around and ran out into the crowd, quickly getting devoured into the depths.
I couldn't move, I just stood there watching her back disappearing.
Everything, everything was a lie. I blamed the wrong person.
Bryan!
I hurt myself over one thing that meant nothing! Bryan was nothing, he tried to… he tried to… I couldn't say it. He was a sick bastard. Utter cock!
I looked up on the stage; Bret was packing up his things along with the others.
I hurt him with feeling mixed around that brut! That… that… monster!
I slowly turned in a cycle on the spot, glancing around at the crowd while the thoughts ripped through my mind.
I stopped and clutched my head.
"IT WAS NOTHING!! HE HURT HER!"
The words burst from my lungs, ripping through the air as I fell to my knees staring at the ground. The people around me went quite, they probably thought I was mad but I didn't care, my world was already a mess, it was black.
"It was Bryan."
I kept muttering to myself over and over again.
"I'm sorry Tala."
I looked up and like fait the crowd in front of me seemed to part, showing the god-forsaken devil himself, the sun illuminating his figure from the behind.
My body started to tremble, not in fear but in pure rage. Anger pumped through my veins in such speed that my blood felt like fire. My vision started to turn red as I continued to glare at him.
Before I knew what I was doing I was up on my feet sprinting up to him.
"You bastard! It was you!"
I screamed.
Bryan turned around, instantly I jumped onto him, the force bowling him onto the ground me on top of him, pelting my fists into his hard chest. My hands were burning but that didn't stop me I kept hitting him, kneeing him, I punched him across the face.
I punched him again, glaring into his eyes.
Suddenly my strength left me as the look appeared on his pale face. He was smirking, blood was dripping from the side of his mouth but he was smirking, like it was the most amusing thing in the world.
"I hate you."
I hissed, slapping him hard.
I was withdrawing my hand, when a blur pasted before my eyes and my wrist was caught. Bryan's strong large hand gripping mine in a painful hold.
With the back of his other hand Bryan smeared the blood away from the side of his mouth, the evil smirk never leaving his lips.
"Come back for more have we."
He smiled. Suddenly I was soaring through the air and then hitting the grass painfully, a painful yelp escaped my mouth as I tumbling a few meters before stopping on my side.
I placed one hand on each side of my body and pushed myself up onto my knees, glaring back at him.
"You bastard, you sick mother fucker!"
Bryan was on his feet walking slowly over to me.
"Don't call me that bitch, no one calls me anything with out my liking."
I was pushing myself, trying to get onto my legs, but they were weak from the cuts I had inflicted on them myself.
I screamed in frustration and looked up to see how close he was now. My eyes widened in horror just as a fist came down and connected with the side of my face.
I fell back and instantly felt the bruise forming on the side of my face. But before I could even block or get to my knees a foot connected with my stomach.
I could her gasps from all around. Was he going to beat me to death in front of all these people? Is he that deranged? Would he?
I felt his foot connect with my stomach again. I cried out in pain as my insides started to burn. It felt like I was dieing, I couldn't feel the side of the face that he hit as the pain in my stomach was worse, I rested my head in the grass and whimpered pulling my legs to my chest. I couldn't stand another blow to the stomach.
Bryan chuckled. He was getting amusement out of watching me suffer in pain, what sick boy did I go out with? I shivered in disgust, regretting it instantly as it created new waves of pain to flow through my body.
"Not so tough now are we bitch, yeah cower like a dog."
I felt two strong hands grip my arms, I was yanked roughly to my feet in a cry of pain. I craned my eyes open and stared into his insane face.
I don't know what really happened then but I saw a blur and then a painful expression cross Bryan's face. Suddenly I was dropping to the floor, I cried out in pain when I hit the ground again, I tried to move my face to see what was happening, but I couldn't all I could hear was two voices yelling.
One I knew was Bryan's and the other sounded familiar to…. It was Bret!
"Bret!"
I whimpered, clutching my stomach.
"It's alright Kitten, I'm here, I won't let him hurt you."
"I'm sorry."
"Someone get her back!"
I heard him yell. I couldn't see anything, just the dark green off the grass. Nothing happened for a few minutes as the boys continued to yell and I heard some punched being thrown and some gasps.
"Someone help me!"
Suddenly I felt hands grab my top and I was pulled to the side of the cycle of people. I could see now, Bryan and Bret was going at it verbally and physically, throwing curses and punches.
Bryan was at least 2x bigger in body weight and strength then Bret was but Bret was more agile and fast, putting in a few decent punches himself.
But it all started to go wrong when Bret punched Bryan in the stomach.
Bryan clamped his two hands together and brought them down hard on the back of Bret's head. Bret fell down but instead of connecting with the floor he connected with Bryan's knee.
I could hear the painful gasp escape from Bret as he stumbled backwards, holding his stomach and arching down his head.
"Leave Kitten alone."
"Why? Do you like her or something lover boy."
Bryan teased, standing in his fighting stance.
"Maybe."
Was Bret's reply as he lunged forward again, Bret came in with his left but Bryan dodged it, he then backed it up with his right smacking Bryan square on the side of the face.
"I'll get you for that."
Brayn growled, I knew now that Bryan wouldn't hold back.
He came forward and grabbed Bret around the waist throwing him with ease to the ground, instantly bringing a knee down on Bret's stomach and then following it up with a viscous kick to the side.
I could hear Bret gasping in pain, he had said he liked me and now he was in immense pain.
"Someone help him!! PLEASE!! GOD SAKE HELP HIM!! BRET!!"
I screamed.
"Bret, god why did you get involved why!! Bret!! Help him!"
"Cause I –"
Bret was cut off with a gasp a Bryan brought another knee onto Bret's stomach, Bret struggled to get up but I knew Bryan had hit the right spots making it to painful to move.
"You bastard! I HATE YOU!!"
I screamed at him.
"LEAVE BRET ALONE YOU MONSTER! LEAVE HIM ALONE! GET LOST BRYAN! LEAVE HIM ALONE FOR GOD'S SAKE… please…"
My cries seemed to fall on deafened ears as Bryan continued to in flick pain on Bret's limp body. The blow to his head had knocked him out; it would have anyone with the force that Bryan had put behind it.
"HELP HIM!!"
Where's the police, shouldn't there be at least one of them around in case something like this happens!!
"MAY!!"
I heard an indecipherable sound behind me and I shifted my head to the side. May was kneeling beside me, she was the one who had dragged me out.
Why wasn't she doing anything, then I saw her eyes were fixed on Bryan, fear shoon brightly none that I had never seen before and I wouldn't blame her he was scary.
There was nothing any of us could do right now, but pray and hope that Bret would not get seriously injured.
But then like our prayers had been answered a voice boomed out from the crowd.
"BRYAN!! Enough!"
One side of the crowd parted and Spencer stalked in. Bryan stopped kicking Bret and looked up to Spencer, a foreign look burning in his eyes.
"Stop it now, it's enough, you've drawn a crowd."
"I haven't had enough, I'm enjoying beating this love sick fool."
"Bryan…"
Spencer growled, warning his friend.
"This isn't the time or the place."
Bryan grunted and rolled his eyes.
"What ever, I'm bored now anyway, you stole the moment."
"Good."
And that was it, Bryan and Spencer turned and left through a gap in the crowd like nothing had happened at all, Bryan hadn't beat me, hadn't nearly killed Bret, nothing had happened.
"Bret!!"
I screamed, crawling with difficulty over to his body. I scooped his head up and layed in down on my lap, his face was silent, no movement not a twitch. His hair was thick with crimson blood and blood was seeping from his mouth and various wounds.
"Why Bret? Why for me?? I'm worth nothing?"
May knelt down beside me and placed a finger on his neck.
"He has a pulse and he's still breathing, he'll be fine as long as paramedics get here fast."
"I've already called them, they're on their way."
A stranger shouted.
I wasn't noticing anything, I was just staring down at Bret's lifeless looking face, wiping away the clumps of hair from his brow and the blood from his mouth. Whispering to him and cursing him for not answering me.
"Bret!!"
I looked up to see the rest of the gang run over.
"What the hell happened!?! We were packing the van and – Jesus Christ!"
Lee stopped in mid sentence and looked down at Bret.
"Mate are you ok? Bret?"
"Bryan beat him up bad Lee, he's out cold."
I muttered rocking back and forth slightly.
My life just getting worse and worse.
When will it ever end.
A/N: Ok what do you think?? Was this first twist good?? Was it exciting or just boring?? Well please tell me in a review and then I have one more chapter or two or three before the BIG finally…. Hehehe so is everything getting clearer and I am so evil mwhahahaha!!
Like it??
hahaha well I'm rambling now…. I'm still hyped up from writing this chapter, I was bugged by shibi to write this so this goes out to you my friend XD
Took me what 5 hours… it took ages cause I had to cut paste and all sorts of shit but it's a longer chapter and THANK YOU to everyone who reviewed I won't write them all down cause you know who you are and I want to post this as fast as I can…. So yeah THANK YOU HUGGS AND LOLLIES to you XD well please review…