False Apologies

(Chapter Eight)

That night when they arrived back at Grimuald place they were greeted with tears and hugs from every one, and that's not an over statement. It seemed to Hermione that just about everyone in the Order had shown up at headquarters for their return. Even Dumbledore was there. She knew what his presence meant; she was going to have to tell them all what happened.

She took a seat at the large table in the kitchen where everyone joined around her. She sat next the Ron and Ginny who was holding Hermione's hand supportively, and Harry stood behind Ron and Hermione, not wanting to let his two best friends out of his sight again.

They all sat in silence for a while. Hermione sipped on some tea and refused to look anywhere except into her cup.

Finally Dumbledore spoke. "As much as I whish I didn't have to ask this of you, I must…Please Miss. Granger explain to us what happened," He asked softly, sympathy clear in his voice.

With a deep, ragged breath Hermione began her story. She told them of Voldemort's new plan, about his offer (which she left out the details of her temptation), and finally…

"Ron apparated, knocked me down and the killing curse hit the death eater behind me…" She trialed off at the look of confused faces.

Mrs. Weasley was the first to speak. "But, how could he apparate? He's only 16, he doesn't know how?" She asked bewildered. Dumbledore smiled kindly.

"Just because the law says underage wizards can't do it doesn't mean they physically can't."

"The real question though," Lupin started, and everyone turned their attention to him. "Is how did Ron, despite his age, apparate there. Surly, Voldemort would have made his hide out impenetrable."

Dumbledore smiled once again and nodded.

"Right you are Remus, Voldemort has taken those precautions…However, there is only one thing that can penetrate that barrier and that is what brought Mr. Weasley to Hermione's aid….That thing is pure love."

As soon as he uttered the last words, Ron and Hermione's faces both turned bright red and they avoided eye contact from everyone, especially each other. And despite the seriousness of the situation, Fred and George wouldn't miss out on a great opportunity to make fun of their little brother.

"Are you saying that little Ronnie is in love?" Fred asked and George grinned wildly.

Ron glared at them, his face beat red.

"I simply stated that Ron loves Hermione, now if he is in love with her that is entirely up to him and none of you're business," Dumbledore stated and Fred and George were the ones to turn red this time.

"Please, continue your story," Dumbledore said pleasantly. Hermione swallowed hard and looked down at her hands.

Hermione told them all what happened. How she had convinced Voldemort not to kill them, which impressed many Order members. She finally finished with a description of her and Ron being rescued from the Leaky Caldron. She had told them everything, everything except for her temptations that is, but Dumbledore wasn't fooled; he could sense that there was more to her story.

"That will be all Ms. Granger. I suggest everyone should go to bed now, especially you, it has been a long day for everyone."

Everyone in the room started to move around. Some left the building others made their way up the stairs into rooms, and just has Hermione stood up Dumbledore approached her.

"You and I will talk in the morning, privately," He whispered to her and offered a supportive pat on the back. Hermione smiled Weakley and was gently led out of the room by Ginny.

Hermione and Ginny, along with Harry and Ron all quietly made their way upstairs to their bed rooms. Ginny was the first to stop and turn to Hermione to take her tightly into a hug.

"I love you," Ginny whispered. It made Hermione smile. Ginny was like a sister to her and she knew Ginny felt the same. Growing up with all brothers, she knew Ginny was grateful to have Hermione around.

Ginny released her and Hermione caught a quick glimmer of a tear in Ginny's eyes before she ran off to her bedroom. Hermione smiled after her then turned to her best friend, Harry Potter. He looked at her so sadly and finally reached out for her hand and gently pulled her into a tight hug. Hermione closed her eyes and hugged him as if she was comforting him as well. She knew how guilty he must be feeling.

"Mione, I'm sorry-" he started, but Hermione pulled away.

"Harry don't, please?" She pleaded softly. She didn't want Harry to start feeling guilty for what happened, didn't want to hear him blame himself for everything. Harry nodded sadly; knowing not to argue with her. Hermione smiled gratefully at him and then turned to Ron. The one who saved her because of his 'pure love'. They stared at each other, unsure of what to do. Only a couple of hours ago she was in his arms and didn't want to leave, but now, now it all seemed awkward. Hermione swallowed her pride and moved closer to Ron who wrapped his arm around her. He was so much taller than her, so tall that her face was buried in his chest and he was pretty much cradling her head with his long arms. It felt so good, so safe.

He didn't say anything and neither did she. They both released each other from the hug and everyone went off to their rooms.

Even with everything that Hermione was thinking about, she had no problem falling asleep. She knew her body would be very soar in the morning and she probably wouldn't be able to sleep then, so with out a fight she let her body surrender to sleep as soon as she hit the pillow.

The next morning Mrs. Weasley let Hermione sleep in as late as she whished. When she finally did crawl out of bed every muscle in her body was throbbing with pain. As she sat up in her bed she winced and breathed deeply, willing the pain to go away.

To her surprise Fred and George were the first ones to help her. They had been walking pass the door and saw her struggling to stand and came to help her out.

"Hey gorgeous, need some help?" Fred asked happily. Hermione smiled and reached out for them.

"Your heroes are here," George mused.

"Well, we're not Ron."

"But we'll do our best to save you."

They each took one of Hermione's hands and led her down stairs to the sitting room. Ron and Harry were playing chess, Ginny was reading and Mrs. Weasley was, of course, cleaning.

They all smiled brightly at her as she entered the room. It made her feel good at seeing how relieved they all were that she was alive. She could only imagine what they were all thinking when they found out what happened with Mundungus. Now that she thought about it, Mundungus wasn't there last night. She wondered what happened to him; maybe he was thrown out of the Order.

Mrs. Weasley kindly made Hermione a sandwich to go along with the medicine she was supposed to take for the next couple of days to strengthen her body. Only about twenty minutes later Dumbledore arrived at headquarters to speak to Hermione. He made her feel very comfortable and she told him everything that happened. All her thoughts and feelings. Dumbledore explained that it was nothing to feel ashamed of. Voldemorts specialty was manipulating people. He didn't need the imperious curse to get people to do things. In fact, Dumbledore praised her for not giving in. It didn't change how she felt about herself though. She would never tell anyone else about it, About almost betraying her friends. It was something that would haunt her conscious forever.

She had spent most of the day up in her room resting and reading. It wasn't until late in the afternoon that Hermione made her way down the stairs for her next dose of medicine.

Mrs. Weasley was in the kitchen with the water on high washing dishes. Hermione's potion was already poured for her and she reluctantly gulped it all down. As she set it on the counter she let a disgusted expression sweep across her face and she turned to leave, bumping right into-

"Ron!"

"Sorry! Did I hurt you?" He asked with a worried tone.

"No, no I'm fine" She reassured him. They were both uncomfortably silent and Hermione started to move past him to leave.

"Hermione?" Ron asked quickly. She turned back around almost expectantly.

Ron Hesitated. "I actually wanted to talk to you," he said quietly, as if trying not to let anyone else hear. Mrs. Weasley was right across the room from them, but she had the water running so loud, chances were she wouldn't hear one of them scream.

"Sure Ron," Hermione responded.

Ron took in a deep breath; he had been contemplating what to say all night.

"I know you won't let anyone take the blame for what happened yesterday, but it was me who made you upset and if I hadn't of done that then-"

"Ron, it's ok" Hermione said cutting him off. Ron shut his mouth in defeat. He knew she wouldn't let him blame himself. To her face at least. He was going to blame himself secretly until the day he dies. However, she wasn't going to not let him apologize.

"Yeah well, I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I said a lot of stupid things that I didn't mean. I was just angry and rambling."

Hermione immediately reacted, though she tried not to let Ron see. So he didn't mean it after all. After their fight she had almost completely forgotten why they were fighting and all she could think about was his angry frustrated confession of his feelings for her. But, they were false feelings.

Hermione nodded sadly. "I knew you didn't mean it, we were both angry. I shouldn't have lied to you."

"Krum is none of my business, I shouldn't have invaded you privacy."

They were both silent again. Hermione wasn't used to such heartfelt, mature apologies from Ron, but she wasn't going to argue, she liked this Ron, not that she didn't like him before.

Hermione smiled. "Thank you…For everything," She was lucky to have such a great friend, even if that's all they'd ever be.

Ron smiled and started to leave.

"Ron?"

He turned around.

"Viktor and I are just friends. Despite what he might feel for me, he's just my friend," Hermione didn't know why she felt she needed to explain this. It really wasn't any of his business. Deep inside though maybe she thought that if Ron knew she wasn't with Krum, he would take back his apology and tell her that he liked her. But all he did was nod and turn away.

Ron felt sick as he walked away. In the late hours of the night before he finally fell asleep that was the apology he had decided on. He had really made a fool of himself yesterday and had really hurt someone he loved. He thought about asking Hermione how she felt when he said he liked her, but then he thought that Hermione's reaction to it was clear enough. He decided it was best never to bring it up again. Fred and George were right. He was in love with Hermione, but she could never know that. Even if one day she decided she felt the same, a relationship in the middle of a war was the last thing either of them needed. Right now they all had to stick together as friends, having Hermione as a girlfriend would only cause him to become more attached to her, and even more devastated if he lost her. The same way around, If something happened to him, he didn't want Hermione to be devastated. Besides the war, if they ever were to be together romantically and then something were to happen like a fight, which was likely, then he wouldn't only lose a girlfriend he would lose one of the best friends he ever had.

He had made a hard choice, but the right choice.