Chapter 6: Bad Application forms and Religious Studies.

The following Morning, Caitlin awoke with her alarm as before and successfully replicated her breakfast. She'd done her essays, but no way could she find even one thousand words for Replicators, let alone three. All she had was a short paragraph which appeared to be more of a small rant about how hard they were to operate. She'd found a little about the Grand Nagus too, but knew very little except for the fact hat he was the ruler of Ferenginar and lived in the Tower of Commerce. She'd also learned that they use a strange currency called Gold Pressed Latinum.

DarkLegate said, "You got your essays done?"

"Yea." She replied, "But I hardly found anything on Replicators."

"Me neither, O'Brien will kill us for sure. We've got Religious Studies 101 first thing."

Religious Studies, why should we have to learn about religion, it's not even a part of Star Trek! Caitlin thought to herself. "Stupid Subject, why should we have to learn about something that pathetic anyway?"

DarkLegate replied, "Well, from what I can gather Bajoran Religion plays a big part on DS9. How I don't know, but that's what one of the girls doing TNG told me."

When they got into class, Major Kira was standing at the front. Several lads on the front row seemed to be drooling over her like lost puppies. "You boys can stop drooling over me like that." She insisted, "Otherwise you'll find yourselves spending the rest of the day in detention, in the Brigg." The offending boys sat bolt upright and looked as if they were trying to hide their tenting crotch areas.

"Right, I'm Major Kira Nerys, first officer to Captain Sisko and Liaison Officer. I'm going to be teaching you about the religious beliefs and history of my people, the Bajorans. Does anyone here know who the Emissary is?"

One of the eager-to-impress fanboys from the front row put up his hand, "Yes." asked Kira.

"Is it somebody a bit like Jesus Christ?"

"Only in the way that he was sent by the prophets. I don't know much about Earth religions, but he isn't really anything like Jesus."

The class stared at her blankly, so she added, "I'll give you a clue; he is on almost every episode." Still no response, "Lost his wife at Wolf 359, raised his son by himself."

"Rom?" Somebody called out.

Kira said, "Who said that?"

"Me" said the voice.

"Who is me? Put up your hand."

Nobody dared to respond to that as Kira's face grew dark and her eyes became like piercing daggers. "Rom divorced his wife, she isn't dead. The Emissary of the Prophets is Captain Sisko…" The door chimed. "Enter." said Kira, as calmly as she could.

Hellfire stormed in like a bat out of hell, "Excuse me Kira, may I have a word with the class?" Ha. Thought Caitlin what the hell happened to her clothes? They're all pinky purple.

"Certainly." She said.

Hellfire addressed the sheepish looking class, "Right, I have three things to talk to you all about. Firstly, I haven't received a single application form from any of you. I need it to process the information very soon, so I'm handing these around now for you to fill in before it slips your minds again. Please read all questions carefully, you just might get what you wish for.

"Secondly, I'm very disappointed with those of you who stampeded Doctor Bashir yesterday. If anything like that happens ever again, there will be serious trouble and detentions.

"Lastly, whoever got their hands on all my clothes and dyed them 'urple is in serious trouble and is risking expulsion if anything like this happens again, and I will find the culprit."

The class all took a form and began to fill it in. Caitlin noticed that some of the questions were a little strange as she scanned the form.

Course:

Flat Location:

Name:

Gender:

Age:

Species: Human/Kingon/Romulan/Cardassian/Ferengi/Founder/Talaxian/Ocampan/Borg/Other Please specify…

Sexual alignment: Straight/Bisexual/Gay/Lesbian

Usual or predominant writing style: Self-Insertion/Slash/MPreg/Issues/Lemon/Squick/Other please specify

Do you have a mini-Tribble of your very own? Yes/No

Brief description of yourself:

Caitlin filled it out almost without thinking, as did every other student in the room. The forms were quickly handed back to Hellfire and she abruptly disappeared with them.

Kira continued her lesson. "Right, now then. Today I'll teach you about the Prophets. The prophets are our Gods and they reside in the Celestial Temple; most of the other officers will refer to this as the Bajoran Wormhole. Once every two thousand years, the prophets send us Orbs. Many of the Orbs were stolen from us by the Cardassians during the Occupation. The last orb sent to us was the orb of the Emissary. Does anyone have any questions?"

Cassandra put up her hand, "Well, if they are your Gods, do you have anything like the Devil, you know, bad Gods?"

Kira said, "That's the most intelligent question I've heard all day. There is in fact, they're called the Pah'Wraiths, and they reside in the Fire Caverns of Bajor. Some of the more misguided among my people worship them as the true Gods, and wish for them to claim the celestial temple. The Emissary of the Pah'Wraiths is Gul Dukat. He is the former Prefect of Terok Nor. That is the name the Cardassians gave to Deep Space Nine."

Kira gave a wicked smile, "Now it's time for me to assign your homework. I will expect this essay handed in tomorrow morning. Research and write a two thousand word essay on the role of Captain Sisko in Bajoran Religion. Class Dismissed."

The whole class groaned. Not another essay, don't they think we need sleep. Kira looked around at the dismayed faces, "Make that four thousand words, for complaining."