Chapter 19
Someone like you
Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with friends
A/N: Hi guys. There's been another huge delay again, I know and im sorry, but things have been a bit manic here yet again (I swear if I didn't have bad luck id have no luck at all! Lol) anyway, thanks for the patience and I hope you stick with the fic, as it's nearly done :o(
~*~
Chandler let his eyes open slowly as his mind whirled back into awake mod. He thought back to the dream he had had, where Phoebe had been laying in his bed. Back where she belonged, with him by her side.
His heart skipped a beat as he thought back to how real it all seemed. He was even certain he had been able to smell her scent, and feel her gentle breath bruising over his skin as she leaned in closer to listen to his every word.
He shook his head. His brain was still unable to determine between fiction and reality. Only one thing would confirm it for him. He slowly turned his head, terrified that the little bit of hope he held that it was real would be quickly taken away from him.
There it was, Confirmation.
Her blonde hair was scattered neatly over the pillow that he often cuddled into, pretending it was her he was holding while they fell asleep together.
He let out a sharp breath, and stopped short of bursting into relieved tears. It hadn't been a dream after all. It had all been as real as he had wished it were.
Phoebe began to stir gently, turning her back away from him, so that her face was just inches from his own. Her eyes remained shut tight, but a smile as big as her heart stretched across her face.
She could feel him close to her. His body was nowhere near hers, but it was almost like she could feel his skin touching hers. She could smell his fading cologne in the distance, although she was unsure if it was coming from him, or if it had been lingering on his bed sheets. But that didn't matter now. All that mattered to her was that he was there, by her side, she knew she belonged.
His breathing was heavy. She could hear it, rhythmically exhaling and inhaling, and she could feel the heat it threw at her bare skin. His face was near by. It had to be. Was he awake? Was he watching her?
Normally this would have frightened her, to know that a man's eyes were scanning her being, but with Chandler she felt comfort in his gaze. It was like he looked right through her into her soul, a dark area that no other person had come close to seeing. But he did. She knew he could see the real Phoebe, the one she hid from the world.
Chandler let his eyes rest on the face that he had fallen in love with from the first moment he had seen it before him.
That smile warmed his heart, and made his insides turn over in excitement. No other woman had made him feel so nervous, but happy at the same time. She had something he couldn't put his finger on, and it was like magic. Just one small facial gesture from her could send him into a chaotic whirl.
He watched her lips uncurl and rest back into their normal expression. He wondered what it would be like to kiss them? How they would feel, how they would taste
His stomach lurched as his mind pictured the event. He closed his eyes back over and imagined leaning forward to make his mouth meet hers
Before he knew it he felt his body carry him forward. His head began to fold, closer and closer to her with short movements. He paused for one last surge of courage and moved his face upon hers.
Their lips locked together, unmoving at first, until they both let what was happening digest. The shyness they had both been bottling up disappeared in a flash and their nerves diminished along with it.
This felt so right. So much so neither could believe it.
Neither of them had what could be deemed the perfect kiss.
Chandler had had a few drunken frat party experiences, none of which had ever left him feeling good. In fact if anything they had knocked his confidence. Girls had only ever stayed for that one kiss, before they slinked off in embarrassment in search of a jock to make them forget about the drunken fumble with the inexperienced 2nd year.
Phoebe on the other hand had never been kissed with passion. A few bums on the streets had tried, after a night of drowning their sorrows with a bottle of anything with a high percentage of alcohol. And every since she had started working on the streets she had avoided all lip contact with the handful of clients she had obtained. Kissing just seemed too personal an act, and she tried to distance herself. The more impersonal the less real it felt.
"Wow!" Chandler pulled back reluctantly and gasped for much need air.
Phoebe giggled slightly, more out of shyness than anything, but she couldn't help but laugh at how "tingly" she felt. She had come so far in such a short space of time. The part of herself that she had locked away was slowly returning, and it was all down to love.
"I'm sorry if I threw myself at you, I just saw you, and I had to kiss you. Not that I couldn't have stopped myself, I could have, but I didn't want to. Although it's not like im some kind of unstoppable monster, I just,"
"Chandler, Shh!" She grabbed the back of his head and pulled his lips towards hers forcefully. She wanted to finish what they had started, and used the preteens of it being the only way to shut him up from his incessant rambling, a habit which she secretly loved. And it was a valid excuse to get that bit closer to him in the future. Right now this was what she planned to do with every free second she had, make out with Chandler.
She was going nowhere.not have her own free will at least
~~*~~
Rachel scurried quietly around Ross' dorm room, picking up the clothes that had been strewn around the floor from their "encounter", which hadn't long ended. She held on tightly to the top of the crisp white sheet which was wrapped around her naked body, to stop it from slipping off as she bent down to search for the items of clothing that had been flung away as quickly as they were ripped off.
"I don't see why you have to leave so soon. Why don't you stay a while longer?" Ross sounded and looked pathetic as he tried his best at talking her into remaining in bed with him.
"Ross, I can't, you know people will talk if they see me leaving your room, the same night I catch my boyfriend with another woman. It's going to be bad enough to face everyone without the added pressure of this!"
"EX boyfriend!" Ross over emphasised the first part, causing a harassed Rachel to pause in her search for a missing shoe that was needed to complete the pair.
"What?" she scrunched up her face in confusion. She had only been half listening to him.
"Never mind. Listen; do you want to meet up for breakfast? Or we could even go into town. I could take you shopping!" Ross lifted his head excitedly from his pillow at what he thought was the best idea he had ever had. How could Rachel resist shopping? "Im going to be the best boyfriend ever!" He thought to himself.
"Ross I can't think about shopping just now, or eating. They're the last two things on my mind. Ahh, here it is!" She picked up her lost shoe and threw it onto her bare foot, her mind wandering from the conversation.
"Ok" Ross lost all his enthusiasm and it showed on his face and by the way he spoke. The disappointment was so evident even Rachel noticed. She let out a sigh and sat at the edge of the bed.
"I'm sorry Ross, I know this isn't exactly an ideal way to end our evening, but I have so much to think about right now."
"Like what?"
"Well, there's Jason," Ross rolled his eyes, much to Rachel's disgust. "And, well, us. I need to get my head around what happened her last night. I don't just go about sleeping with people on a whim, especially when my boyfriend is right next door!"
"EX boyfriend," Ross looked at her coyly, hoping she would agree, but she skipped past his remark, clearly getting annoyed at his little boy lost act.
"I told you last night that Jason is history, but I need to talk to him before I can figure out where me and you are headed, if anywhere. Again, im sorry, but it's the way it has to be."
She got up from the bed, leaving Ross wordless beneath the duvet. She took one last sorrowful look at him before letting herself out.
Once the door was closed firmly over she let a tear trickle down her face. She was breaking his heart, just the way Jason had broken hers, but she couldn't stop herself. So much had happened in her life in the last 24 hours it's was hard not to feel the way she did. She was confused. Here she was, two men, both of which she had feelings for, and her mind wouldn't let her decide just who she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.
No matter how much she told herself she would never let Jason back in her life after all his lies and deceit she couldn't help but wonder if he begged her enough would she cave in? They had too much history together to throw it all away because she thought she was falling in love with something she would be too embarrassed to admit to knowing, never mind dating?
Pretty soon the decision would be taken out of her hands.
~~*~~
Chandler ran his hands over Phoebes back, gently stoking her hair as it came in contact with his fingers. The room was silent, apart from a few moans, which escaped their engaged lips.
With every feel of her tongue a little part of him got braver. He felt like he was drunk. His mind didn't feel like his own. It felt like it had been taken over by a sex-starved maniac. His heart was racing with anticipation as little beads of sweat formed on his forehead.
His hands wandered further around her back, suddenly meeting her bra catch, giving him idea's above his station, which he knew he would regret, but while his mind was warning him against it his body was telling him otherwise.
He slid his hands up her top, and fumbled awkwardly with the catch, not noticing Phoebe's lips had stopped moving, and her body had tensed.
"NO!" She yanked herself away, fighting for breath, giving Chandler the fright of his life. He had gone too far, and he knew it.
"Phoebe im so sorry, I didn't mean to, I just got carried away, please don't hate me for it." He grabbed her shoulders, and felt thankful that she didn't pull away from him yet again.
"Its ok," She looked away embarrassed at her outburst. She didn't understand it herself, so how on earth was she ever going to explain it to him?
They sat in silence as she tried to analyse what had just happened. She had been so at ease with him, to the point where she was allowing herself to enjoy what they were doing, but the feel of him caressing her skin, just like those sleazy men who took advantage of her was too much to deal with. It brought back the horrible memories of the job she had only just left behind, and she knew it would be a while before she could get over the things that had happened to her.
Maybe she wasn't ready after all?
"Its not you Chandler, honest. Please don't feel like I don't want you, because I do. I'm just scared of what will happen if I do sleep with you. I've never had a "proper" relationship like this before, and I don't know the difference between sex, and making love." She felt her cheeks burning at having to admit her insecurities. She could only hope she hadn't blown her one chance at love. No other man ever understood it when she screamed no and demanded they stop; instead they just carried on until they got what they paid for.
"Phoebe, you will know the difference when you're ready, and until then im not going anywhere! You take all the time you need, and you will never have to worry about me pressuring you into anything you don't want to do!" He slid his arms around her waist and watched as she broke down in relief.
All he could do was hold her while she wept. He had opened a door to her feelings and he knew it was all about to come pouring out, the good and the bad. But he didn't mind as long as the burdens were removed from her.
"Chandler, don't ever let Tony take me away again!" She sobbed into his chest painfully.
"Im not letting anyone take you anywhere, I swear!" And he meant it.
~*~
"Jack? Hi it's Tony. Did you find her yet? NYU? WHAT THE HELL IS SHE DOING THERE! WHAT DO YOU MEAN CALM DOWN! I AM CALM! I don't want to hear it, just make sure you're free tonight after dark, im going to get her. YES TONIGHT! DON'T ANSWER ME BACK, JUST GET HERE BY 8M!" Tony slammed down the phone in a rage. She had really crossed the line this time and he was going to make her pay.
~~*~~
Please review xxxx :o)
Someone like you
Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with friends
A/N: Hi guys. There's been another huge delay again, I know and im sorry, but things have been a bit manic here yet again (I swear if I didn't have bad luck id have no luck at all! Lol) anyway, thanks for the patience and I hope you stick with the fic, as it's nearly done :o(
~*~
Chandler let his eyes open slowly as his mind whirled back into awake mod. He thought back to the dream he had had, where Phoebe had been laying in his bed. Back where she belonged, with him by her side.
His heart skipped a beat as he thought back to how real it all seemed. He was even certain he had been able to smell her scent, and feel her gentle breath bruising over his skin as she leaned in closer to listen to his every word.
He shook his head. His brain was still unable to determine between fiction and reality. Only one thing would confirm it for him. He slowly turned his head, terrified that the little bit of hope he held that it was real would be quickly taken away from him.
There it was, Confirmation.
Her blonde hair was scattered neatly over the pillow that he often cuddled into, pretending it was her he was holding while they fell asleep together.
He let out a sharp breath, and stopped short of bursting into relieved tears. It hadn't been a dream after all. It had all been as real as he had wished it were.
Phoebe began to stir gently, turning her back away from him, so that her face was just inches from his own. Her eyes remained shut tight, but a smile as big as her heart stretched across her face.
She could feel him close to her. His body was nowhere near hers, but it was almost like she could feel his skin touching hers. She could smell his fading cologne in the distance, although she was unsure if it was coming from him, or if it had been lingering on his bed sheets. But that didn't matter now. All that mattered to her was that he was there, by her side, she knew she belonged.
His breathing was heavy. She could hear it, rhythmically exhaling and inhaling, and she could feel the heat it threw at her bare skin. His face was near by. It had to be. Was he awake? Was he watching her?
Normally this would have frightened her, to know that a man's eyes were scanning her being, but with Chandler she felt comfort in his gaze. It was like he looked right through her into her soul, a dark area that no other person had come close to seeing. But he did. She knew he could see the real Phoebe, the one she hid from the world.
Chandler let his eyes rest on the face that he had fallen in love with from the first moment he had seen it before him.
That smile warmed his heart, and made his insides turn over in excitement. No other woman had made him feel so nervous, but happy at the same time. She had something he couldn't put his finger on, and it was like magic. Just one small facial gesture from her could send him into a chaotic whirl.
He watched her lips uncurl and rest back into their normal expression. He wondered what it would be like to kiss them? How they would feel, how they would taste
His stomach lurched as his mind pictured the event. He closed his eyes back over and imagined leaning forward to make his mouth meet hers
Before he knew it he felt his body carry him forward. His head began to fold, closer and closer to her with short movements. He paused for one last surge of courage and moved his face upon hers.
Their lips locked together, unmoving at first, until they both let what was happening digest. The shyness they had both been bottling up disappeared in a flash and their nerves diminished along with it.
This felt so right. So much so neither could believe it.
Neither of them had what could be deemed the perfect kiss.
Chandler had had a few drunken frat party experiences, none of which had ever left him feeling good. In fact if anything they had knocked his confidence. Girls had only ever stayed for that one kiss, before they slinked off in embarrassment in search of a jock to make them forget about the drunken fumble with the inexperienced 2nd year.
Phoebe on the other hand had never been kissed with passion. A few bums on the streets had tried, after a night of drowning their sorrows with a bottle of anything with a high percentage of alcohol. And every since she had started working on the streets she had avoided all lip contact with the handful of clients she had obtained. Kissing just seemed too personal an act, and she tried to distance herself. The more impersonal the less real it felt.
"Wow!" Chandler pulled back reluctantly and gasped for much need air.
Phoebe giggled slightly, more out of shyness than anything, but she couldn't help but laugh at how "tingly" she felt. She had come so far in such a short space of time. The part of herself that she had locked away was slowly returning, and it was all down to love.
"I'm sorry if I threw myself at you, I just saw you, and I had to kiss you. Not that I couldn't have stopped myself, I could have, but I didn't want to. Although it's not like im some kind of unstoppable monster, I just,"
"Chandler, Shh!" She grabbed the back of his head and pulled his lips towards hers forcefully. She wanted to finish what they had started, and used the preteens of it being the only way to shut him up from his incessant rambling, a habit which she secretly loved. And it was a valid excuse to get that bit closer to him in the future. Right now this was what she planned to do with every free second she had, make out with Chandler.
She was going nowhere.not have her own free will at least
~~*~~
Rachel scurried quietly around Ross' dorm room, picking up the clothes that had been strewn around the floor from their "encounter", which hadn't long ended. She held on tightly to the top of the crisp white sheet which was wrapped around her naked body, to stop it from slipping off as she bent down to search for the items of clothing that had been flung away as quickly as they were ripped off.
"I don't see why you have to leave so soon. Why don't you stay a while longer?" Ross sounded and looked pathetic as he tried his best at talking her into remaining in bed with him.
"Ross, I can't, you know people will talk if they see me leaving your room, the same night I catch my boyfriend with another woman. It's going to be bad enough to face everyone without the added pressure of this!"
"EX boyfriend!" Ross over emphasised the first part, causing a harassed Rachel to pause in her search for a missing shoe that was needed to complete the pair.
"What?" she scrunched up her face in confusion. She had only been half listening to him.
"Never mind. Listen; do you want to meet up for breakfast? Or we could even go into town. I could take you shopping!" Ross lifted his head excitedly from his pillow at what he thought was the best idea he had ever had. How could Rachel resist shopping? "Im going to be the best boyfriend ever!" He thought to himself.
"Ross I can't think about shopping just now, or eating. They're the last two things on my mind. Ahh, here it is!" She picked up her lost shoe and threw it onto her bare foot, her mind wandering from the conversation.
"Ok" Ross lost all his enthusiasm and it showed on his face and by the way he spoke. The disappointment was so evident even Rachel noticed. She let out a sigh and sat at the edge of the bed.
"I'm sorry Ross, I know this isn't exactly an ideal way to end our evening, but I have so much to think about right now."
"Like what?"
"Well, there's Jason," Ross rolled his eyes, much to Rachel's disgust. "And, well, us. I need to get my head around what happened her last night. I don't just go about sleeping with people on a whim, especially when my boyfriend is right next door!"
"EX boyfriend," Ross looked at her coyly, hoping she would agree, but she skipped past his remark, clearly getting annoyed at his little boy lost act.
"I told you last night that Jason is history, but I need to talk to him before I can figure out where me and you are headed, if anywhere. Again, im sorry, but it's the way it has to be."
She got up from the bed, leaving Ross wordless beneath the duvet. She took one last sorrowful look at him before letting herself out.
Once the door was closed firmly over she let a tear trickle down her face. She was breaking his heart, just the way Jason had broken hers, but she couldn't stop herself. So much had happened in her life in the last 24 hours it's was hard not to feel the way she did. She was confused. Here she was, two men, both of which she had feelings for, and her mind wouldn't let her decide just who she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.
No matter how much she told herself she would never let Jason back in her life after all his lies and deceit she couldn't help but wonder if he begged her enough would she cave in? They had too much history together to throw it all away because she thought she was falling in love with something she would be too embarrassed to admit to knowing, never mind dating?
Pretty soon the decision would be taken out of her hands.
~~*~~
Chandler ran his hands over Phoebes back, gently stoking her hair as it came in contact with his fingers. The room was silent, apart from a few moans, which escaped their engaged lips.
With every feel of her tongue a little part of him got braver. He felt like he was drunk. His mind didn't feel like his own. It felt like it had been taken over by a sex-starved maniac. His heart was racing with anticipation as little beads of sweat formed on his forehead.
His hands wandered further around her back, suddenly meeting her bra catch, giving him idea's above his station, which he knew he would regret, but while his mind was warning him against it his body was telling him otherwise.
He slid his hands up her top, and fumbled awkwardly with the catch, not noticing Phoebe's lips had stopped moving, and her body had tensed.
"NO!" She yanked herself away, fighting for breath, giving Chandler the fright of his life. He had gone too far, and he knew it.
"Phoebe im so sorry, I didn't mean to, I just got carried away, please don't hate me for it." He grabbed her shoulders, and felt thankful that she didn't pull away from him yet again.
"Its ok," She looked away embarrassed at her outburst. She didn't understand it herself, so how on earth was she ever going to explain it to him?
They sat in silence as she tried to analyse what had just happened. She had been so at ease with him, to the point where she was allowing herself to enjoy what they were doing, but the feel of him caressing her skin, just like those sleazy men who took advantage of her was too much to deal with. It brought back the horrible memories of the job she had only just left behind, and she knew it would be a while before she could get over the things that had happened to her.
Maybe she wasn't ready after all?
"Its not you Chandler, honest. Please don't feel like I don't want you, because I do. I'm just scared of what will happen if I do sleep with you. I've never had a "proper" relationship like this before, and I don't know the difference between sex, and making love." She felt her cheeks burning at having to admit her insecurities. She could only hope she hadn't blown her one chance at love. No other man ever understood it when she screamed no and demanded they stop; instead they just carried on until they got what they paid for.
"Phoebe, you will know the difference when you're ready, and until then im not going anywhere! You take all the time you need, and you will never have to worry about me pressuring you into anything you don't want to do!" He slid his arms around her waist and watched as she broke down in relief.
All he could do was hold her while she wept. He had opened a door to her feelings and he knew it was all about to come pouring out, the good and the bad. But he didn't mind as long as the burdens were removed from her.
"Chandler, don't ever let Tony take me away again!" She sobbed into his chest painfully.
"Im not letting anyone take you anywhere, I swear!" And he meant it.
~*~
"Jack? Hi it's Tony. Did you find her yet? NYU? WHAT THE HELL IS SHE DOING THERE! WHAT DO YOU MEAN CALM DOWN! I AM CALM! I don't want to hear it, just make sure you're free tonight after dark, im going to get her. YES TONIGHT! DON'T ANSWER ME BACK, JUST GET HERE BY 8M!" Tony slammed down the phone in a rage. She had really crossed the line this time and he was going to make her pay.
~~*~~
Please review xxxx :o)