Disclaimer: I don't own them....yet...bwaaa ha ha ha ha.
This fic is for Mickey who asked me to write something using a paragraph she gave me.
Which one I won't say, but this is what came out of it. I hope you like it. If you do let me know, and maybe we will get to the bottom of why no one is talking.
A/N:Understand that what you are reading is two people having thoughts while in eachothers presence. They are not speaking to eachother. They are just sharing space.
After Thoughts
By Miss Wallow
Her thoughts are BOLD.
His are Italic.
Every word he says seems forced, like he would rather be anywhere else than in this room with me right now. It wasn't always like this between us. Words used to flow like water between us, we used to talk and talk and make love and talk. It was love, I think. No – I know it was love. It still is. But life got in the way, we stopped talking and started fighting, and suddenly...
Suddenly we aren't us, I don't know who we are, but this isn't us...she has never been quiet this long. How did we get here? Not, here, here but, to this state of mind? When did we stop being friend and start...
It started and I don't think we realized it. First it was all the little things, my coffee habit, his unavailability. Little things, they just piled up until one day it just blew, it was a disaster, and I am not talking Twister here, I mean like Mount Saint Helens everything blown to hell, real life what to we do, disaster. I never thought...
I always thought that things would be so easy with her, we wouldn't have to deal with all the bullshit, all the 'relationshipy' stuff. Now look at us, she hasn't even glanced my way in the last ten minutes. I hate this, but I don't know how to fix this...
I can't change who he is, and I certainty can't change who I am, I am too stubborn for that. We were supposed to fit, be right, and thats it, it wasn't supposed to be hard. When the fights started, that reality quickly faded and the realization set in that, we might be great friends but maybe we aren't meant to be lovers. I mean maybe we aren't as compatible as I thought we were he is so...
Stubborn, I knew she was stubborn before and I loved that about her, now it is just a big wall between us. I can't even talk to her anymore without getting into an emotional tug of war, and she never lets go, she just keeps on pulling. If I drop it then I am giving up, if I say she is right, I am just saying that to end the fight. I can't win...
I can't stand this constant battle, I don't know how much more I can take. I love him. But, I can't live like this. Maybe this was all a huge mistake, we can't go back now, we have come too far. If it is over, that is it, my whole world, my reality will shift. I don't want to be with out him...
I don't want to be with out her, but I can't seem to make this right. I have tried, God knows I have tried, and she has too, we just can't seem to...
We can't seem to put anything behind us, we are both emotional pack rats, we hang on to every hurt feeling, every petty fight. I know this is childish, I know that if we could just...
If we could just talk, and really talk, like we used to...
If we could just talk like we used to...
Then maybe we could work things out, maybe we could start over fresh, clean, new...God I miss her.
God I miss him.
I feel her slipping away, and I don't know how to pull her back to me.
He is pulling away from me and I don't know if I can do anything to stop it.
I remember, when we first kissed...
I remember the first time he kissed me...
It was...
It was...
It as if I had finally done something I would never ever regret...
It was like I had found the answer to every question I had ever asked...
I don't ever want to regret her, I don't think I can, but if this were to all end, I would always regret losing...
Now those answers are blurred, was he the answers? Or did I just want it so badly that I made myself feel that way. Did we rush in? I mean eight years isn't rushing,but things with Jason, they were so messed up and opening the Inn...was I thinking clearly? Did I just want something or did I want...
Her.
Him...
Is this a one hit wonder?? If you want to know what happens next you are going to have to tell me. Should we find out what caused them to get here? Where are they? Will they speak? I just don't know...only you can answer that...