The Things They See

A/N: This chapter was originally supposed to be from Nathan's P.O.V. but after the sudden return of Jake in "Don't take me for granted" I decided to focus on his important view. Updates for "Don't Let Go" and "The Beautiful Dance" are coming soon, as well as a new one-parter focusing on the return of Jake. That's got me all bothered as you can tell. In this story Jake never left town with Jenny

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Chapter 4: Jake

I loved her once. Maybe I still do. She was everything I ever wanted in a girl. She was beautiful, smart and incredibly talented. And there was something about the way her golden curls framed her face that made my heart skip a beat. But the one thing that made her different from any other girl I might have loved was the way she treated Jenny. I saw how much she cared for my daughter they shared a special bond. Peyton loved Jenny, and somewhere along the way I began to believe she loved me too.

We spent a lot of time together, hanging out at my house eating pizza or watching a movie. I enjoyed being around her. I failed to notice the fact that Peyton liked spending more time with Jenny than with me. I can see it now, and I don't fault Peyton for feeling that way. I never told her how I felt. I spent far too much time waiting around for the right moment.

A few months after we started hanging out I finally worked up the nerve to make my move. I wanted to tell her how I felt, to let her know that I thought about her all the time. That I wanted to kiss her and tell her I was falling in love with her. I left Jenny with my mom that night and drove all over town trying to find a flower shop that was still open. It was almost ten o'clock at night when I had decided to drive over to her house. I figured she'd be sleeping, but I had to tell her. She had to know. So I finally found an open shop, actually it wasn't open but there was a woman still inside so I banged on the door until she opened the door. I told her my story and she was kind enough to sell me some flowers, a dozen yellow daisies.

My heart started to race, as I got closer to her house. I went over my speech a dozen times in my head on the ride there. I was ready for this. But I felt my racing heart sink in my chest when I saw a familiar truck parked in her driveway. I didn't want it to be true. I parked my truck across the street from her house, killed my headlights and watched Lucas Scott get out of his truck and climb the steps to her porch. He rang the doorbell and waited patiently for her to answer the door. Peyton opened the door quickly and kissed him. I didn't know they had been going out for a few weeks, apparently they had kept it under wraps for a while. I don't think it was possible for me to feel any lower at that moment. I watch him hug her tight and she has a smile on her face that I have never seen before.

I don't know why I stayed to watch them, I should have left after I saw his truck in the driveway. It killed me to see someone else making her smile like that, that was supposed to be me kissing her and brushing the hair from her face. It wasn't supposed to be him. Lucas. He wasn't good enough for her, not for Peyton. I saw how his actions had affected her over the past year. I was there for her when she found out about Lucas and Nikki, it was my shoulder she cried on because of what he did to her. It was my house she ran to after Lucas left town, she kept asking me how he could leave like that. I wanted to tell her I would never leave. But I didn't. All the pain he had caused her, all the tears she had shed over him and in the end she ran to him. She chose him over me.

I felt like a voyeur hiding in the darkness of the shadows watching them from afar. They walked down the steps of her porch. His hand rested lightly on the small of her back. She was leaning into him and that smile still had not left her face. I wanted to run to her and tell her she was making a mistake, but it was no longer my place. He opened the passenger door for her, I scoffed at his attempt at chivalry, Lucas waited for her to climb in before he closed the door. I watched him jog around the front of the truck and climb into the driver's side. She leaned over and kissed him before he started up the truck and drove away in the direction opposite of where I was parked.

My heart literally ached as I watched him drive away with her. A wave of jealousy washed over my body. I wanted what he had, what he didn't deserve to have. I had never been the jealous type, but I couldn't bear to lose her. The envy eventually faded and was replaced by sadness. There hadn't been anyone in my life since Nikki, and I did love Nikki once a long time ago. I was about to pour my heart out to a girl who was in love with someone else, and it was obvious that Peyton was in love. I looked over at the forgotten bouquet of yellow daisies and suddenly felt like an enormous jackass. I rolled down the window and tossed the flowers into the middle of the street. The yellow petals looked even brighter against the black asphalt of the road. I drove away without a glance back in my rearview mirror.

After I found out about them things changed, Peyton didn't come around Jenny and I anymore. It wasn't her fault though. I stopped returning her calls and asking her to come over. I avoided her around campus and stopped hanging around the locker room with Lucas after practice. It was too painful, to see them together at school or around town. Peyton didn't know why I had stopped talking to her, she thought she had done something wrong or at least that's what she said in the messages left on my answering machine. It wasn't her fault, it wasn't even Lucas'. I had to move one with my life and forget about Peyton Sawyer.

I left Tree Hill soon after that. It wasn't all because of them, my dad was being transferred out of state for his job and I still needed my parents help when it came to Jenny. So I went with them. I put aside my feelings for a day, when I told Peyton I was leaving town. She told me she wished we were still friends, she didn't know what had happened. I told her we just grew apart, no need to tell her the truth now. She and Lucas came by later, just before we hit the road. He told me goodbye and wished me luck, Peyton gave me a hug. I wished then, like I did a lot, that things were different. She waved goodbye to Jenny who was buckled in her car seat already. Then I climbed into the drivers seat and drove away.

I realize now that Peyton has always loved Lucas. I could have saved myself a lot of grief if I would have admitted that to myself a long time ago. As much as I wanted to believe otherwise I know that she never gave me any indicators that she wanted to ever be something more than friends. I'm not angry or jealous of Lucas anymore. He's a very lucky guy to be loved by her. And as long as she's happy I'm ok.