A/N : Yes, yes, couldn't leave you with that pathetically short chapter, knowing as I do that so many of your and waiting in agonizing suspense for the next instalment.
…. Ahem. Ahahaha. Onward.

Hermione lay in bed.
"Oh dear, what can the matter be?" she hummed.
"Are you HIGH?" inquired someone rather forcefully from the other side of the dorm.
Hermione relapsed into meek silence and returned to pondering the matter of Harry.
This was a complex matter to anyone's eyes, but tonight it had been made even more so. Harry in love with Draco? Hermione liked to think of herself as liberal, but it did not seem plausible. She would have been less surprised to hear Harry lusting after Snape.
Tired of turning it over I her mind, Hermione got out of bed and walked down to the common room. It was deserted and most tranquil. She curled up in an armchair and waited for something worthwhile to happen.

Meanwhile in the boys dorm, Neville and Harry sat on the floor, pouring out their woes to each other (A/N : Do not LEAVE. They won't hook up in this lifetime.)
"Oh, Neville. Whatever should I do?"
"I know not! We are consumed by love and yet we sit here powerless to concretize our feelings!"
There was a pause whilst Harry nodded politely. Neville looked at him.
"Nevermind."
There was a pause whilst they both contemplated the icy lake out the window.
Neville spoke : "Look, dude, his can't go on. Lets do something about it tomorrow, OK?"
Harry shot him a withering glance.
"Your pined-after one is a GIRL. Nothing remotely shocking or unusual."
Neville looked hurt. Harry rolled his eyes.
"Sorry, dear, sorry. You ask Hermione out if it would please you. I will wallow in my self-hatred for a while longer."
"Fine. But don't harp on so."
"I'll do my best."

Hermione was bored. She looked out the window, focussing and unfocussing her eyes and giggling like a loon. An irate voice drifted down from her dorm :
"Hey, share it with the rest of us, man…"
Hermione blinked and strode up the stairs to the boy's dormitory.

"Someone COMING!" Neville squeaked.
Harry opened his mouth, but was silenced hurriedly. They both leapt into Harry's bed as Hermione entered the room.
"Hello?" Hermione enquired.
There was a silence.
"Oh, come along," she said irritably. "It is I, Hermione."
Two heads emerged from under Harry's covers.
"Oh, hey Mione," said Harry vaguely.

Hermione looked mildly disturbed, but dismissed whatever she was thinking and got to the point.
"Look, I have whiskey. We are going to sit here and get drunk until you have told me what I need to know about Malfoy so I can get along with my Subtle and Cunning plan to get you together."
She looked at Neville, who squeaked.
"You can join in too, Neville," she said kindly.

A/N : Hm. It will get better, this I promise. Getting into my stride. Please come back :p