To Let Go
italic: Naruto's thought.
" ": talking
' ': any person's thought
Chapter One
Black clouds circled the gray sky above him like heavy lead crashing down.
Splash.
A drop a rain fell heavily to the grass covered ground, and another, and another... until it looked like a thick gray curtain draping between the Heaven and Earth, dividing God from tiny mortals who looks to the faraway Heaven, but never reaches it.
They splashed like thunder onto the weeping grass, and like knife onto the figure standing in the rain. The rain drops mixed messily with the tears on his face and is washing away the tear streaks, which is filled over and over again.
His usual spiky blond hair clanged to his face like a second skin, wet from rain and soaked with deep red blood that his natural hair color might prove a mystery. The blood on him, his and from the heavy dead bodies beside him dripped from his face down to his chin, soaking his already blood covered neck and torn ANBU uniform, onto the body he's grasping frightening tight in his arms.
A thunder roared across the death smelt field ... his nerves cracked.
His already injured legs finally gave up to the ground under him. The number of standing figures behind him made a move to reach him, until a hand raised, signaling them to stop from a silver haired jounin with half of his face covered in black cloth. The figures behind him faltered, and stepped back, feeling the helplessness that they cannot help the poor creature kneeling on the ground.
Knees down, his usual mirthful blue eyes are wide and blank, no shine, no color, no more pranks hiding behind them ...
...no nothing. Just a gray blank circled orb stared ahead.
... no more ... as he watched his life crack to little pieces of dust.
... t-this ... can't be ... No!!
He automatically tightened the grips on the dark haired dead body in his arm, thinking it's just a nightmare and the stopped heartbeat will start beating like it did ... like it did ....
yes ... like it did ..before. .
But all he got was the sound of rain that quiet that is the battle field.
No! Don't! I-I can't do this by myself ... come back here.... D-Don't leave me here ...
... by myself ...
He tried to catch the cracked pieces, but they fell, clanging loudly onto the ground when he realized that there is no breathing, no heartbeat from the body.... the breathing that used to be so warm against his attending ears ... and the heartbeat that used to beat so frantically against his during the night.
The silver haired jounin walked slowly, step by step, toward his former student. 'There's nothing I can do. I have failed as a teacher ...a mentor, and a ...friend.'
Finally, he approached the kneeling figure, more ANBU and jounins has arrived at the scene and one look made them stop in their tracks.
"Naruto ... you have to let go. People die, it's the way of the Shinobi. We've all accepted this fate from the day we became one and Sasuke has accepted this fate too." a hand came down to Naruto's shoulders for comfort, though Naruto made no movement that he heard him at all.
N-no, you are wrong ... he didn't accept this fate ... he died protecting me ... it's all my fault! If only I listened Sasuke .. my fault, my fault, my fault.
MY FAULT!!!!
Naruto's eyes hardened and he looked downed towards the dead body that is Sasuke.
Sound ... no sound.
"Naruto, Naruto! NARUTO!!! " Kakashi shouted. His eyes turned downward and ... fearful of what he's witnessing - nervous breakdown and .. self-destruction. But it seemed like Kakashi's shout was in vain as Naruto seemed to be trapped in a trace and can't get out without guidance.
Sasuke is ..dead .. and it's all my fault ... Naruto stared at the stretcher lying between the other jounins, ... my fault ... y-yes ... the stretcher... of course I can ...of ..c-course... i can... right?
Naruto! Get up! It's your fault!!
A sudden movement from Naruto startled everyone when he stood up so hastily that it was a miracle that his legs didn't crack under him. The bigger miracle was that he still had the strength in him to uphold Sasuke in his arms.
My fault ...
He moved his foot and slowly, he turned .. and raised his head.
Silence was the greeting, sadness, sympathy .. and uncomfortable was the eyes of those around.
No... the eyes were not a heart-shattering look that breaks the heart of others .. no softness. Instead, its the eyes that meant the end of hope and everything. Eyes hard like stone and empty of emotions.
Naruto stared past everyone, except for the black stretcher with a white cloth lying on the ground provided by the recruit team - made for the dead. Everyone followed his direction and looked at the offending stretcher that is now being beat by the rain. Heads hang low, no one dared to mutter a word.
Naruto limped toward the stretcher slowly, Kakashi moved to help but stopped when Naruto yet turned back, and stared at him straight in the eyes. Kakashi sighed and walked past Naruto and kneeled in front of the stretcher.
My fault ...
Naruto turned around again towards the stretcher. Slowly, he laid Sasuke down onto the stretcher. One hand on Sasuke's cheek he slowly allowed his head to lean to the side. Dead.
Naruto got up and in the rain, he walked away.
The rain only fell harder.