Pretty Prison
Series : Gundam powaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Wing!
Author : Ookami-the-super-too-strong-Yang
Kind : Oneshot, POV of Duo, Song Fic, yaoï, can be OOC too.
Disclaimers : Not alas the pilots are not with me, on the other hand the guitar if! Not but!
Small blah: I do not know why, I wanted to make small a oneshot in this style... I hope that that will like and then if there are questions, do not hesitate!
Single Chapter.
I'm sitting on my bed. The tears are runing. Why am I so emotive ? Usually, I'm merry, I laugh, and nothing nor nobody can realize of what I hide at the bottom of me. But there I'm arriving there no more. You beat my barriers too much. There weren't the same ones as hold them, but you knew nevertheless how to take to you there to destroy them.
I am rectifying me and I am wiping my tears abstractedly. With what good ? Now I know what I must do. At least I hope to arrive there. My guitar with is carried of hand. I am catching it and to install me. I am letting slip my fingers on the cords. I have the heavy heart. The first time also I had it as that except which I continued to act like an idiot. I am remembering me well... I am continuing to pass the fingers on the cords. I am creating a small melody without knowing too much which. It east can be that of the memory... past...
That made one moment that I had accepted what I felt. I loved you. But I did not know how you to learn it. I was afraid that you take it badly. Finally, after putting tortured the lasting spirit of the months, I finish by me throwing to water by seeking a good occasion.
I have it during a mission. You occupied yourself to regulate a bomb. I hesitated, I corroded myself, but I had said that I was going to do it, and I had the intention well of it.
- Hee... Heero ? I say timidly.
- Hn ? was satisfied it to answer me.
That really did not encourage me. Leaned on his device, he continued to connect wire without being raised. I approached him and squatted me to find me with his height. He did not stumble. I looked at him a little, then diverted the eyes. I did not dare to fix him while I was going to say to him...
- I... I wanted to say to you that... heu... I stammered awkwardly.
I felt stupid to be thus also hesitant whereas usually I align the sentences at an incredible speed without only one mumbling. Heero realized there and I intended him to raise the head. He looked at me but me I did not dare to turn over me. I lowered the head on the contrary to hide me under my wicks, then decided to completely throw me to water. There made sinks, it was not nobody in this closed down hangar, I had all the charts in hand. I spread out them of a blow.
- I love you Heero.
That is there, I had said it. And now, I expected an indifferent "hn", or the limit with an icy answer which would break me. Or worse, with some words on the mission in progress. Being unaware of what I had said. But by there making me understand that I was stupid... I will not have had to say to him !
- Duo ? made me a soft voice.
I started and raised the eyes towards Heero. I did not return from there the tone which he had employed. And I missed having an attack. For the first time, his blue eyes did not have only one gleam of ice, indifferent. There had been something in... but I more not time to understand what.
Heero slowly advanced his face of mine with a... a small smile of excuse. I did not return from there. And I returned from there even less when I felt that he embraced me...
I am playing some notes melancholic persons. To remember is not the best way of going up the moral one... but I am not being able to prevent me from smiling slowly. Sadly. A song in my head is taking form. I am singing the first sentence gently...
I had put my heart in your life
Yes, it is what I had done when I said it to you during this mission. But after...
- Heero ? What did you say ?
- You must leave Duo.
- I refuse to give up you there !
- I do not wonder to give up myself, to only leave.
- But I do not want !
- And me, I do not want only you here remainders... with me !
My heart broke completely. Heero drove out me. After all that we had made... he drove out me. I let the tears run. I made fun well to have the pitiful air in front of him. I could not believe it. I made mine advance me towards him but he pushed back me brutally and moved away. He drove out me... I could not imagine it... why ?
- Heero! I howled while again trying to join him.
But he did not leave me time to cross the gate. The two grids were closed again on me, separating me from him. I howled his name again. He was turned over. His eyes had found their icy glare. I shivered about it.
- Goes hold.
He was diverted and left. I put to strike the metal bars which prevented me from following him, crying all my pai. I dropped myself by ground to knees.
I never included it... why ? I suffered from it from this moment. I am continuing my song. Two following sentences. I am gently gripping the cords of my guitar.
And when it is come out from it
In blood and all in tears
And broken. I am remembering well me to which point I had the impression that my heart had exploded. Or rather it was as if it had been lacerated by blows of claws. I am pointing out the blood of these wounds to me which ran out in me...
I swore myself to put it elsewhere
I was raised and removed the dust of my clothing. I launched a last glance in the direction where Heero had left. He had driven out me. Given up. He was going to live by obligation in this species of castle. I was unaware of the details. I knew only one thing : he had left. And that is enough for me.
I turned the back on the property and started to me. I suffered. And I had made my decision. Never again I will love. I was going to hide my heart. It was out of question of feeling all that again. It was finished. I swore more not to fall into the trap of the love. Not to let anybody more take my heart to me.
I joined the residence of Réléna. Shee had supported me a long time and supported. She did not ask me a question by seeing my state. I went directly in the room that me several front months had been given. I opened all the drawers of the convenient one. I of selected one. There were gloves and scarves. I pushed them. And I looked at the free site, under this clothing. I put my heart there. I hid it there.
Then I put it in a drawer
Below the gloves and the scarves
But my room one entered
One found it and released
I slept when he entered. I believe that I made a nightmare. It was to be that which had attracted him. I awoke and raised me. They was Quatre. I tried of him to smile, without success. He did not say anything. He knew what occurred. His empathy... He posed his hand on my face and found me extreme.
He went to excavate in my drawers. He found my heart and released it. I looked at him seeking in my business and smelled again emotions which I had felt until there only for Heero. I did not want to love any more but it was already too late. I needed comfort.
Quatre felt it. He was raised, dropping his research, and approached me. I let him sit down on my bed. He lowered the eyes. It suddenly recalled me myself in front of Heero... I observed him and it was exactly similar. At least I believed it. He did not have only one word there this night. That does not mean that there was no action...
One made him believe that it was liked
And my small heart very believed
My fingers on the cords are being done hesitant. After Heero, Quatre. Small fair adorable. I really bit with the hook. I had been stupid. How had I been able to think that I will go better with him? And if I had been a time observant... I will have seen well that Trowa turned to him around. I am smiling about it now. It is insane as we are strange. I will never have thought that of them... but now they make a splendid couple since a long moment. They have chance. But it is not even because of Trowa that my stories of heart were badly with Quatre. Finally not really. At the time I did not know... And Quatre either I believe. It was right a simple obviousness which wounded me... that I will have had to understand earlier...
- Duo, I am sorry but... I...
I raised the head of my book, alarmed by the tone of Quatre. And anxious when I live his sad air. I posed my book and approached me him.
- What are there Quatre ?
- I... one cannot continue Duo...
My heart was tightened. Wasn't it going to start again?
- Quatre...
- Not, lets I finish! I... I do not know since when nor why but I... I do not feel anything any more for you... I am sorry but it is thus and I... I wanted tried to continue but... Duo it is too hard, I do not arrive there more...
Each word was a blow. I felt my heart to cover wounds. I shook the head. Very well. I suffered again. But I did not want to force Quatre. He had taken my heart. He let it join me. But in which state...
It returned to see me
With wounds to be shown to me afterwards
During days, I remained in my room. I did not want to leave any more. I was too afraid for my heart. I looked after it, I tried to make it heal. I even tried to render comprehensible to him that it was necessary to stop loving.
My fingers are continuing with slowness their melody. It is strange as the words of the song are coming me all alone.
Then after look afterhaving looked after it
I wanted to make him morals
He to say that one did not have to love
If one did not want to have badly
And I decided not to let whoever more steal me my heart. I was going to protect it. What I did. There was a trunk. I deposited it inside and I did everything to lock it so that nobody comes to take it to me.
Then I took it and I hid it
At the bottom of a well sealed trunk
I was a phantom. I did not live any more, or that hardly. I was broken. I avoided everyone, in particular Quatre. I knew that there were only Trowa, Wufei, him and me here. Réléna offered an asylum to us. But for me, it was a torture. Each time I saw Quatre, I fled. I could not support his sight. I was unjust but I could nothing there. My heart was locked up.
It was not necessary a long time before it does not support any more to be alone. One week or two. My heart started to shout. It could not about it any more, quite simply. Only, given up, badly healed. And somebody heard.
I in the garden, had sitting on a bench. He arrived in my back and settled beside me. I remained plunged in my melancholy. He, I was unaware of what he thought. He is so difficult to envisage. And I did not want to try to understand him. I realized that he had passed an arm on my shoulders and tightened me against him. I was ravaged but I smelled immediately that my small heart howled and struggled.
I say to him to stop, to remain in his trunk. I had enough of it to fall in love with everyone without reason. Really enough. But that which held me against him did not hold account of it. He raised me the head. I had tears full the eyes without paying attention there. I really did not know it very well. He was an unknown for me. But that did not prevent he forcing my trunk and from seizing my heart in a few minutes.
His hands were posed on my cheeks. That was enough to make steal in glare the lock. He embraced me without I not having time to say a word. He left my heart.
But at the end of one or two weeks
It started to shout its sorrow
And then somebody heard
And with his hands of unknown
With forced the enormous lock
Left my heart its armour
I will have had to doubt to me that, once again, that was not going to go. I am cursed in love. I fall in love with no matter whom, my heart is made remove easily. I am not able to find a place to him where nobody will catch it. My fingers are stopping one moment. I am looking at my guitar. And I am sighing. After Heero, after Quatre, it is Trowa which prevented my heart from resting in its trunk. I was destroyed so much on this bench which I had not even had the reflex to be surprised.
But there too I was stupid. As always. I had not noticed that it devoured eyes Quatre.. I will have to suspect that it was only one means of approaching him. I was mistaken on Trowa. I will never have believed that he can use me to have Four. That disgusted to me during a long moment. But after a held conversation it is not so a long time that that, I put the points on i And I had still been stupid.
Trowa had not used me. He did not know that he was attracted by Quatre and not by me. It was an error... and I made the expenses of them. When he finally understood that he was better with the fair one...
- Duo. You know that I am not gifted for that, then...
I smelled in advance what it was going to say. All said it to me. I started to accustom me. I let it continue, preferring anything to say.
- I am with Quatre now. I realized that it is him whom I like.
It was all. Net. Clearly and precis. On the blow, I understood. Bad manners. For me, at this moment, the situation, all that had occurred with Trowa, all that, it was handling. I exploded and howled on him. Then I dropped myself in tears once that he had left.
Lowered by ground, I undertaken to occupy me of my heart. Trowa had taken it. Now, like others before him, he returned it to me. In tears. I tried to calm me after a fashion and succeeded. Then I sought another place to put it out of attack of the others.
But I was too badly. I vomits. I have fever. But not question of speaking about it with the others. I went to the infirmary and made me a puncture, with inter alia sleeping pills inside. I turned over in my room, put to me in pyjamas. One striped black and white. It made me think of the uniforms of the guy of animated drawing which are in prison. I deadened well quickly, taken by the drugs.
My fingers are taking again their dance on the cords. Words on my lips too. It is not difficult to sing my history in love gently. I am lowering the eyes, looking at my hands playing.
It did not take time before it returns
While crying like a madeleine
Then I took it and I rocked it
And when I comforted it well
It remained me more than to find
A quiet corner to him a sure place
Then I put it under the pillow
I deadened it of a puncture
And I very emmitouflé it
In my pyjama with stripes
I still have these pyjamas besides. I am throwing a glance with my cupboard. I kept it. I am unaware of why. Can be because I carried it when...
I slept. But I was awaked. Or rather my heart was awaked. The puncture had not had to be rather strong. So only I had put a greater amount... I opened the eyes and missed having an attack. Eyes of a major blue. Disordered wicks dark. A familiar and soft face leaning on me.
I rectified myself but Heero plated me without difficulty on the bed. And without brutality. I did not understand and when I was going to speak to him, to ask him from where he came after all these years, to ask him why it was there, he to put all the questions which had haunted me during all this time, he prevented me from saying only one word. He took again my heart. He embraced me with a great softness. I still felt the pain of our separation, of all this time spent without him. But he was there now. And despite everything these painful memories... I want to believe in his return. I want to be again with him. And I believed that it offered this chance to me.
I am still smiling about it by scraping my guitar. I slept peacefully... my heart too. But...
But while me I slept
Somebody awoke of course
And when I opened the eyes
I saw that it is you which had returned
Heero... my first... you had returned. You never spoke to me about what had occurred during all this time. And me, I was well too happy to find you to insist.
You, the first of my in love
You, the first of my unknown
When I saw that had taken my heart to you
And that my heart had been let make
That you had not frightened him
In spite of his bitter memories
I forced myself to believe by you
Of saying to me that you would not do it twice
Yes, I believed it... I believed that you would remain with me this time...
A few months hardly. And after this little of time of pure happiness, he set out again. By giving up me. I do not even live him. We had just spent one night incredible, splendid like all the others and single at the same time. I was with the angels since he had returned.
But when I rolled myself on the side by awaking me to stick itself against him, there was nothing any more. I opened the eyes by wrinkling the eyebrows. That did not resemble to him to leave thus. I waited one moment, then as he did not return I rose, equipped me, and left with his research.
I did not find him. I had died of concern. During several days, any news. Then I intended to speak about a base of OZ which had been destroyed by a gundam. We all were there except him. It could be only him. He had given up me. With new. My heart was tortured by his absence since days and now it was it more by he had done...
I am not preventing the tears from running. That would be useless. In any event there is nobody in my apartment then...
But as in fact you left me
With a small tortured heart
Which age do I have now ? I do not know any more... 27 years I believe... something like that. I am stopping one moment playing and posing my right hand on my heart. It is still there. But worn. Quivering. It suffered too much. It was already like that, a few months ago when Heero gave up me. Since you gave up me. I am sighing and to start again to play, my tears running on my cheeks.
It shocked me to see it like that
My so young and so worn heart
Then I took it very against me
I said to him not to worry
I was still in the residence of Réléna. I turned in round around, incompetent to stop walking. I was torn and I sought at the same time a place... a possibility of hiding my heart...
I made ten times the turn of the house
And while I turned in round
I ended up leaving. And now I am having an idea. I am looking at my guitar. And I am surprising me to smile. Sad, undoubtedly. But it is better thus. I am finishing my song... and my heart will be in safety.
It came to me an idea of genius
I said "little heart, come by here"
I am continuing to play. My tears are running now on the cords but that is not obstructing me. I is hoping that here you will be well, small heart... it is pretty...
I deposited it in my guitar
On large of cushion of songs
Under bars of steel odd
But it is pretty in its prison
It is so pretty in its prison...
And here finished ! Give me your comments without hesitation ! It will please really much to me !
Small detail : the song is of Lynda Lemay, and in French the title is "Joli Prison". I put the original words below to you (thus in French) !
Joli Prison.
J'avais mis mon cœur dans ta vie
Et quand il en est ressorti
Ensanglanté et tout en pleurs
Je me suis juré d'le mettre ailleurs
Alors je l'ai mis dans un tiroir
En dessous des gants et des foulards
Mais dans ma chambre on est entré
On l'a trouvé et libéré
On lui a fait croire qu'on l'aimait
Et mon petit cœur a tout gobé
Il est revenu me voir après
Avec des plaies à me montrer
Alors après l'avoir soigné
J'ai voulu lui faire la morale
Lui dire qu'il fallait pas aimer
Si on n'voulait pas avoir mal
Puis je l'ai pris et je l'ai caché
Au fond d'un coffre bien scellé
Mais au bout d'une ou deux semaines
Il s'est mis à crier sa peine
Et puis quelqu'un l'a entendu
Et avec ses mains d'inconnu
A forcé l'énorme serrure
Sorti mon cœur de son armure
Ca a pas pris d'temps avant qu'il revienne
En pleurant comme une madeleine
Alors j'l'ai pris et j'l'ai bercé
Et quand je l'eus bien consolé
Il m'restait plus qu'à lui trouver
Un coin tranquille un endroit sûr
Alors j'l'ai mis sous l'oreiller
J'l'ai endormi d'une piqûre
Et je l'ai tout emmitouflé
Dans mon pyjama à rayures
Mais pendant que moi je dormais
Quelqu'un l'a réveillé bien sûr
Et lorsque j'ai ouvert les yeux
J'ai vu que c'est toi qui étais revenu
Toi, le premier de mes amoureux
Toi, le premier de mes inconnus
Quand j'ai vu que t'avais pris mon cœur
Et que mon cœur s'était laissé faire
Que tu lui avais pas fait peur
Malgré ses souvenirs amers
Je me suis forcé à croire en toi
En m'disant qu'tu l'ferais pas deux fois
Mais comme de fait tu m'as laissé
Avec un petit cœur torturé
Ca m'a choqué d'le voir comme ça
Mon cœur si jeune et si usé
Alors je l'ai pris tout contre moi
J'lui ai dit de ne pas s'inquiéter
J'ai fait dix fois le tour d'la maison
Et pendant que j'tournais en rond
Il m'est venu une idée d'génie
J'ai dit "p'tit cœur, viens par ici"
Je l'ai déposé dans ma guitare
Sur un gros de coussin de chansons
Sous des barreaux d'acier bizarres
Mais c'est joli dans sa prison
C'est si joli dans sa prison…