Chapter Nine

I want you back

Ray bolted a wake all of a sudden in a cold sweat, he was breathing hard and he couldn't focus on his surroundings. He had, had a nightmare of his beloved Kai not returning to him like he had promised the day before.

He will return. Ray rubbed his hands over his face, and through his hair, which was now so very short. He never makes promises that he can't keep. Ray looked to and ran his hand over the empty spot beside him that used to be occupied by his lover. He couldn't imagine a life without his lover now. If people asked him three years ago he would of happily said that he hated his captain.

Flash Back

"I have had enough of this!" Ray yelled in the Change rooms in one of the BBA training facilities. "I have had enough of this team...and I have had enough of you!" Ray yelled at Kai.

"Then why don't you leave Ray," Kai told him as he stayed clam while leaning on the wall in front of Ray with his eyes closed and his arms crossed. "Why don't you pick and leave, like you did to the white tigers."

"You don't get it do you Kai," Ray said as he moved closer to his captain. "I don't turn my back on my friends."

Kai got of the wall and walked up to Ray, nearly close enough so that they could both feel each other's breathes on their faces. "Friends? I doubt you even know what that word means."

"What are you talking about...of course I know what friends means. You see unlike you Kai I have friends," Ray told him.

"So I guess you were being friends, when you turned your back on the white tigers," Kai said as he walked away slightly then turned to look at Ray. "You see, you and me aren't that different, we both decided what is best for us and we do not care who we hurt in the process."

"I will never be a cold hearted bastard like you. I would kill myself before I become like you."

End of Flash Back

I just want you back KaiΒΈ Ray said as he looked out the window to see the new day starting.

Once Ray got out of bed he went and took a shower and got changed into some clean clothes. Although he knew would be gone for some time, it was also his duty as the older boy in the house to take care of Kenny and Tyson.

Ray looked at himself in the bathroom mirror. I can do this...how hard can it be? Tears began to form in his eyes; he wouldn't be able to this by himself, not now not ever. Kai had been the strength in him, and now that Kai has gone, his strength went with him. Ray felt the bile slowly climb to his throat as he turned and vomited in the toilet beside him.

Ray fell to his knees on the hard titled surface. "Why did you have to do this to me Kai...why did you have to leave me now?" Ray asked out load some how wishing that Kai would walk into the bathroom and tell him that everything was going to be ok, and that he couldn't bare to leave Ray. But some how Ray knew that would never happen that Kai had left them in their time of need and went back to Russia to sort out his own problem, that he couldn't even tell Ray about.

Ray took a few deep breaths and got to his feet flushing the toilet and turning the tap on to let the cold-water flow over his hands before he splashed his face. 'You have to keep it together Ray,' a voice deep within told him. 'Not only for yourself but the team, they depend on you now.'

Tyson sat alone in his room, in the darkness. Max, why did you leave me? Why did you have to go?

A soft knock was heard from the door.

"Who...is...it?"

"Tyson it is me...Ray." Ray opened the door slightly. "Can I come in?"

"Ye...yes," Tyson said with a small sniff.

Ray smiled and slowly walked into the dark room. He saw that Tyson hadn't moved much since the day before where they both tried to cry away their sorrows for the boy that meant so much to them and more. "Tyson are you going to come out of your room today?" Ray asked as he took a seat down next to Tyson on the bed.

Tyson shock his head, slowly, and then began to rub his eyes as tears had again began to form. "This is to much for me to handle Ray."

"I know, you just need to take it one step at a time that is all," Ray told him as he pulled Tyson in for a hug. "All of us need to just take it one step at a time."

"But why is that step always have to be the hardest one of all?" Tyson said as he berried his head in Ray's chest.

Once Tyson had fallen asleep Ray left his room. I guess I am the one that has to put on the mask, Ray thought as he leaned against Tyson's door. Ray slightly smiled. He had often wondered what it would be like to be Kai, but he never expected that he would have to take his place. A tear rolled down Ray's pale face. I can't do this bay myself Kai...I can't live my life without you, not now.

"Ray?"

Ray looked away and wiped his tears so that Kenny wouldn't see them. "Yes Kenny?"

Kenny knew that Ray was crying; always when it came to Kai he would cry. "Mr Dickenson has come to see you."

"Thanks Kenny." Ray walked past Kenny and down the stairs to the living room where Mr Dickenson was waiting for him.

"Ray," said a slightly happy Mr Dickenson.

"Hello Mr. Dickenson. What brings you here?" Ray said as they both took a seat opposite each other.

"Well I wish it was on a happier note then this, but we will have to talk about this sooner, rather then later."

"This is about Max's funeral isn't it?"

"Yes it is."

Ray swallowed hard not wanting to cry in front him.

"As the BBA don't think that Tyson would be up to saying something we would like Kai and you to do it as-"

"What didn't he tell you?" Ray asked as he thought that Kai would of told the BBA about him leaving.

"Who didn't tell me what?" Mr. Dickenson said moving forward in his chair.

"He left."

"He what!?" Mr. Dickenson said surprised with what he was hearing

"He left yesterday afternoon," Ray told him holding back the tears. "He went to Russia."