Van: I should kick Jaeger's ass. Why let her push me around?
Jaeger: Because I have a piece of wood in my hand.
Van: Crap.
ME (Darky): Whoa... that's a lot of reviews... they say the same friggin thing!
Here's my response:
"Whoopdy-fuckin'-do."
There is a huge difference between reviewing, and reviewing! I like to hear what people think, but I swear... something's gonna burn...
I'm glad you like my stuff and took all that time to write all those things, but... just watch out. I got a friggin gun and I'm not afraid to use it!
I quote, "I want to eat rice, I'm hungry." What the hell is that!?! Normally, I wouldn't care, but right now you owe me 15 minutes of my life back, I'm not in a good mood!
"Lalalalalala" What the hell do you mean by that!?!
"I hate haircuts." Well congrats! Now I know your weakness, don't go out alone! Snip, snip, snip!
(Agent-G): I'm not pissed at you or BlackRoseApocolypse. Thanks for giving me a decent review.
Steven's power hasn't been mentioned directly yet, it's fine if you missed it because you didn't miss a thing. Some people could learn a lot from you... You're my hero.
(Supergirlhv): I'm so glad you like it! I'm not mad at you either. Just that evil Darky (I know who you are by the way). I only had 18 reviews before, now I have friggin 58! How creepy is that!?! I'm also pleased to hear that you can relate to my characters. I love to hear that my characters remind my reviewers of themselves. I think it makes them more realistic. More human. ('Cept Vampire-boy.)
(Fire Inu): Not mad at you either. I'm glad you approve of Regan and Jasper. You'll just have to see what happens then won't you? ;-)
But I'm gonna decapitate that little review crazy fucktard!
GRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anyway, chapter 10.
_~*~_
Chapter 10
(Darky): (One review only. Better yet, don't review at all!) (I would celebrate, but I'm busy polishing my gun. Me and Trigger Happy got
a date with a rabid reviewer...;-)
Van
"Hey... Look at that."
"What?"
"That. There's a dance Friday. Good time to get to know your girlfriend."
"She's not my girlfriend..."
"Sure she's not. You just keep tellin' yourself that."
"You're so annoying."
"Tell me something I don't know."
"Make me."
"I can, don't mess with me."
"Why not?"
"I'd kick your ass."
"Oh."
"...Gonna ask her?"
"No."
"Why the hell not?"
"Because..."
"You're afraid you'll choke up right?"
"Maybe."
"Dude, who cares! Just go up to her and say, 'Will you go to the dance with me on Friday?'"
"It's not like that—"
"Oh, yeah. You're right. It'd go more like, 'W-w-will you g-go—"
"Dude, if you don't shut up... Look, I can't be held responsible for my actions ok?"
"Vhat are you guys doing?"
"Having a one-on-one," I told him. "There's a dance on Friday and Tex is too scared to ask his cute little girlfriend out."
"Don't call me Tex."
"Fine. Farm-boy. Farm-boy is too chicken to ask Regan to go with him."
"Vhy?"
"I'm leaving."
"No you're not," I told him and grabbed his shoulder to hold him still. "You're gonna march over there and say, 'Regan, dance with me.'"
"Easy for you to say," he said. "You could ask any girl in this school to go and she'd say yes."
"Not true. Jean's with Scott, Kitty's with Lance, and Jaeger's with Kurt—"
"Vhat? No she's not!"
"Not yet. Anyway, Regan belongs to you and if I ask her you'll kill me—"
"Vhat do you mean 'Not yet?'"
"I mean you haven't asked her for the same reason Jasper isn't asking Regan. You're too friggin scared. By the way, can I get permission to ask Rogue?"
"I'm not scared mein friend."
"Then ask her."
He didn't answer. Jasper was looking around the hallway for an escape. I was trying to make Kurt talk. Sigh. Busy, busy.
"Can I ask Rogue to go with me?" I decide I'd bug him later.
He looked surprised. That's insulting. Just cause I'm one of those guys who has every girls' phone number doesn't mean I'm disrespectful. I have a younger sister too. She hates me... but I still wouldn't want some punk to ask her out without my permission first.
"Ja, ok."
"Thanks man. Jasper, Kurt wants to ask out your sister, is that—"
"I never agreed to zhat!"
"Dude," I said, getting really annoyed really fast. "Look, I'm doing you a favor here. Ok first you just charge up and start interrupting our conversation and now I can't even get a word in edgewise."
He shut up.
"Can Kurt have your sister?" I asked Jasper.
He waved his hand, completely unfocused. "Sure whatever."
I turned back to Kurt. "Ok. I'm done. Got anything to say?"
"Vell, I don't like zhe vay you referred to it as 'having' his sister. Vhat if she doesn't like me?"
"That's when you get down on your knees and beg. If that doesn't work, knock her out and force her to go with you."
He looked at me like I was some lunatic (and maybe I am) and ran off. I turned to talk to Jasper but realized he wasn't there. Crap. They left me behind. I've been abandoned!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
~*~
Jaeger
"Are you going to the dance with anyone?" Clay asked.
"Not yet," I answered. You can never be too obvious. If you let a guy know you're interested then they lose interest. Simple as that.
But seriously, hang two or three posters in this school and the whole place knows about the damn dance in five minutes!
"Well, I don't have a date yet either," he said.
So friggin' ask me! God! I like Clay and all, but good grief! Quit taunting me!
Clay's cute. The usual, brown hair, dark eyes. Tall. I like Clay. He sits next to me in History.
"So anyway," he stared. "I was wondering if—"
He was cut off by the sound of the bell. Shit. Life's a bitch.
"Later." He left.
Fine then! Who needs you? ...you think he'll try again later?
I stepped into math class. God, this is gonna be a long day.
"Guten tag."
"Hey Kurt."
"Have you heard about zhe dance yet?"
"Uh-huh."
"Are you going vith somevone?"
"Not yet." Why does he care?
We didn't say a word to each other for the rest of the class. Kurt seemed a little bit jumpy. Not sure why though...
After math I went to my locker to get stuff for science, like usual. Kurt came too to wait for me, like usual. But he watched me the whole time. It was really... creepy. He was like a guard dog.
"Hey Jaeger," I heard Clay say. I turned around to face him. Yes! He came back!
"Hey," I said back.
"I was wondering if—"
"Ve vere just going to science class," Kurt cut in. "She can talk later. Busy, busy."
I could hit him! What does he think he's doing?
He grabbed my wrist and dragged me all the way to science class! I protested the whole time, nut he just wouldn't let go! It wasn't until we were halfway to class and I threatened to file a lawsuit for sexual harassment that he finally stopped and let go.
"What the hell are you doing!?!"
"I vas, um... looking out for your best interests."
"Well I hope you have a real good lawyer Kurt! I'll see you in court!"
I tried to walk past him, but he got in my way. Then he gave me those puppy- dog eyes. "Zhis is probably a really bad time to ask you zhis, but vould you go to the dance vith me?"
I couldn't believe my ears! First he chases away Cay, and then he drags me all the way to science (forcefully, might I add), and now he wants me to go out with him? What is he on?
But how can I say no? He's giving me the puppy eyes! I'm a sap for the puppy eyes! This isn't fair. I should punch him right now!
But, again. How can I say no? He's the best friend I've ever had! I can't just say no! "Give me three good reasons."
He smiled. I just gave him a chance. (Hey, it's not a yes, it's not a no, just in-between.) "Vone, because I asked first. Two, because Clay's a jerk. And three, ...I like you..."
Ok, one, Clay was about to ask, but you interfered. Two, Clay's a really sweet guy, you're just jealous. And three, ...as a friend right?
I heard the late bell ring. We still just stood there staring each other down. I want to say no, but I can't. I'm just defective that way. "Fine," I surrendered. "But later, I'm kicking your ass."
He smiled real big. He looked so proud of himself it was almost funny. Almost. "Zhat's great!"
"Yeah, can we go to class now?"
~*~
Kurt was a very satisfied person. He had a date for the dance, and now Van couldn't bug him about being a coward.
As he and Jaeger entered science, they both got written up (again, now they had detention together too), and when they sat down Van prodded Kurt for information.
He mouthed, 'Did you ask her?'
Kurt nodded.
'What did she say?'
'Yes.'
Van gave him a thumbs up then leaned forward and whispered, "I asked Rogue and she hit me. But I haven't given up just yet."
"You're a desperate man. A very desperate man."
Van winked. "I know. Jaeger, you and Kurt are a cute couple."
"Shut up," she growled. "I hate both of you."
"Why do you hate Kurt?" he asked. "What did he do?"
"Kurt's a very sorry man who's gonna get his ass kicked after school."
Van looked surprised. "Did you blackmail her?" he asked Kurt.
He shook his head. "I just kept zhat bastard Clay avay form her."
"Clay's not a bastard!"
"Yes he is," Van agreed. "He had a girlfriend last week. He seduced her, screwed her, and dumped her. Kurt saved you a lot of humiliation and pain. You should thank him."
"I can't picture Clay doing anything like that."
"Ask Debbie. She was his last victim."
"I will," she responded, but sounded less confident than before.
"You can also ask Vicky, and Sarah, and Katie, and—"
"Ok, Clay's a bastard! I get it!"
Kurt smiled. "So you're not mad at me?"
"No, I'm still pretty pissed. Not because of Clay anymore, but that was sexual harassment."
"Whoa," Van said, giving Kurt the next-thing-it'll-be-rape look. "You sexually assaulted Jaeger?"
"Nein!" Kurt exclaimed. "It vas more... it vas out of zhe goodness of my heart. Doesn't that mean anyzhing to you?"
"Maybe," she said.
"Kurt's a molester! You're no better than Clay!"
"Nein! Zhis is not funny anymore!"
The girl sitting next Van had been listening in on the whole conversation and was beginning to feel uncomfortable. She did not like where this was going. "Van, this getting creepy. What if Mrs. Sullivan hears?"
"Kurt, you better not go raping my sister," Jasper joined in. "Or there'll be hell to pay."
"Kurt couldn't rape me even if he wanted to," Jaeger said.
"I don't vant to!"
"Liar!" Van shouted a little too loud.
"What is going on at that back table?" Mrs. Sullivan snarled. "Do I have to send you all too the office?"
"Mrs. Sullivan," Van called back. "Kurt should be arrested! He rapes babies and kills puppies!"
"Vhat!?!" Kurt shouted. "You need help! Don't listen to him, he's crazy!"
She signed some papers. "Both of you, Mr. Kelly's office. Now!"
_~*~_
ME: Hate to leave you hangin' but I just got this cool idea! It's a way to introduce my new character, Skyler (evil person), and build relationships between characters! It's so cool!
Van: I bet you molest chipmunks too!
Kurt: Shut up! I'm gonna kill you!
ME: Anyway, this chapter got in quick because not only did I have very little homework, but it's a shorter chapter too! Score for me!
Jaeger: *Whispers to D-m-n-w-t.* Just don't like, make this dance have lots of slow songs. I don't want to dance to that....
ME: *Smiles evilly.* Beware my tormenting power as a writer.
Jaeger: Oh crap.
Kurt: Make Van shut up!
ME: *Types this: Van suddenly suffered a fatal heart attack and fell to the ground.*
Van: Duh, vampire.
ME: *Types this instead: Van all of a sudden found himself being chased by a pack of hungry wolves, dying to tear him to pieces.*
Van: Shit. AHHHHHHHHHHHH! *Runs from hungry wolves.*
Kurt: Ja, zhat'll vork.
ME: Good.
(Darky): Sorry, you can review now, but please make them sensible. If people are like me and read the reviews before the actual story (to determine how high/low it rates on the quality charts), then they'll think, "Holy shit, this fic is as stupid as the title suggests!" I don't need that, ok? Also, punch your sister for me. Tell her I wanna see a review form her this weekend. Then punch her again.
Van: Yes! Now get the dogs out of here!
ME: Fine. *Makes wolves disappear.* Happy now?
Van: Yes.
ME: Adios! I'll she you all in hell!
Jaeger: Because I have a piece of wood in my hand.
Van: Crap.
ME (Darky): Whoa... that's a lot of reviews... they say the same friggin thing!
Here's my response:
"Whoopdy-fuckin'-do."
There is a huge difference between reviewing, and reviewing! I like to hear what people think, but I swear... something's gonna burn...
I'm glad you like my stuff and took all that time to write all those things, but... just watch out. I got a friggin gun and I'm not afraid to use it!
I quote, "I want to eat rice, I'm hungry." What the hell is that!?! Normally, I wouldn't care, but right now you owe me 15 minutes of my life back, I'm not in a good mood!
"Lalalalalala" What the hell do you mean by that!?!
"I hate haircuts." Well congrats! Now I know your weakness, don't go out alone! Snip, snip, snip!
(Agent-G): I'm not pissed at you or BlackRoseApocolypse. Thanks for giving me a decent review.
Steven's power hasn't been mentioned directly yet, it's fine if you missed it because you didn't miss a thing. Some people could learn a lot from you... You're my hero.
(Supergirlhv): I'm so glad you like it! I'm not mad at you either. Just that evil Darky (I know who you are by the way). I only had 18 reviews before, now I have friggin 58! How creepy is that!?! I'm also pleased to hear that you can relate to my characters. I love to hear that my characters remind my reviewers of themselves. I think it makes them more realistic. More human. ('Cept Vampire-boy.)
(Fire Inu): Not mad at you either. I'm glad you approve of Regan and Jasper. You'll just have to see what happens then won't you? ;-)
But I'm gonna decapitate that little review crazy fucktard!
GRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anyway, chapter 10.
_~*~_
Chapter 10
(Darky): (One review only. Better yet, don't review at all!) (I would celebrate, but I'm busy polishing my gun. Me and Trigger Happy got
a date with a rabid reviewer...;-)
Van
"Hey... Look at that."
"What?"
"That. There's a dance Friday. Good time to get to know your girlfriend."
"She's not my girlfriend..."
"Sure she's not. You just keep tellin' yourself that."
"You're so annoying."
"Tell me something I don't know."
"Make me."
"I can, don't mess with me."
"Why not?"
"I'd kick your ass."
"Oh."
"...Gonna ask her?"
"No."
"Why the hell not?"
"Because..."
"You're afraid you'll choke up right?"
"Maybe."
"Dude, who cares! Just go up to her and say, 'Will you go to the dance with me on Friday?'"
"It's not like that—"
"Oh, yeah. You're right. It'd go more like, 'W-w-will you g-go—"
"Dude, if you don't shut up... Look, I can't be held responsible for my actions ok?"
"Vhat are you guys doing?"
"Having a one-on-one," I told him. "There's a dance on Friday and Tex is too scared to ask his cute little girlfriend out."
"Don't call me Tex."
"Fine. Farm-boy. Farm-boy is too chicken to ask Regan to go with him."
"Vhy?"
"I'm leaving."
"No you're not," I told him and grabbed his shoulder to hold him still. "You're gonna march over there and say, 'Regan, dance with me.'"
"Easy for you to say," he said. "You could ask any girl in this school to go and she'd say yes."
"Not true. Jean's with Scott, Kitty's with Lance, and Jaeger's with Kurt—"
"Vhat? No she's not!"
"Not yet. Anyway, Regan belongs to you and if I ask her you'll kill me—"
"Vhat do you mean 'Not yet?'"
"I mean you haven't asked her for the same reason Jasper isn't asking Regan. You're too friggin scared. By the way, can I get permission to ask Rogue?"
"I'm not scared mein friend."
"Then ask her."
He didn't answer. Jasper was looking around the hallway for an escape. I was trying to make Kurt talk. Sigh. Busy, busy.
"Can I ask Rogue to go with me?" I decide I'd bug him later.
He looked surprised. That's insulting. Just cause I'm one of those guys who has every girls' phone number doesn't mean I'm disrespectful. I have a younger sister too. She hates me... but I still wouldn't want some punk to ask her out without my permission first.
"Ja, ok."
"Thanks man. Jasper, Kurt wants to ask out your sister, is that—"
"I never agreed to zhat!"
"Dude," I said, getting really annoyed really fast. "Look, I'm doing you a favor here. Ok first you just charge up and start interrupting our conversation and now I can't even get a word in edgewise."
He shut up.
"Can Kurt have your sister?" I asked Jasper.
He waved his hand, completely unfocused. "Sure whatever."
I turned back to Kurt. "Ok. I'm done. Got anything to say?"
"Vell, I don't like zhe vay you referred to it as 'having' his sister. Vhat if she doesn't like me?"
"That's when you get down on your knees and beg. If that doesn't work, knock her out and force her to go with you."
He looked at me like I was some lunatic (and maybe I am) and ran off. I turned to talk to Jasper but realized he wasn't there. Crap. They left me behind. I've been abandoned!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
~*~
Jaeger
"Are you going to the dance with anyone?" Clay asked.
"Not yet," I answered. You can never be too obvious. If you let a guy know you're interested then they lose interest. Simple as that.
But seriously, hang two or three posters in this school and the whole place knows about the damn dance in five minutes!
"Well, I don't have a date yet either," he said.
So friggin' ask me! God! I like Clay and all, but good grief! Quit taunting me!
Clay's cute. The usual, brown hair, dark eyes. Tall. I like Clay. He sits next to me in History.
"So anyway," he stared. "I was wondering if—"
He was cut off by the sound of the bell. Shit. Life's a bitch.
"Later." He left.
Fine then! Who needs you? ...you think he'll try again later?
I stepped into math class. God, this is gonna be a long day.
"Guten tag."
"Hey Kurt."
"Have you heard about zhe dance yet?"
"Uh-huh."
"Are you going vith somevone?"
"Not yet." Why does he care?
We didn't say a word to each other for the rest of the class. Kurt seemed a little bit jumpy. Not sure why though...
After math I went to my locker to get stuff for science, like usual. Kurt came too to wait for me, like usual. But he watched me the whole time. It was really... creepy. He was like a guard dog.
"Hey Jaeger," I heard Clay say. I turned around to face him. Yes! He came back!
"Hey," I said back.
"I was wondering if—"
"Ve vere just going to science class," Kurt cut in. "She can talk later. Busy, busy."
I could hit him! What does he think he's doing?
He grabbed my wrist and dragged me all the way to science class! I protested the whole time, nut he just wouldn't let go! It wasn't until we were halfway to class and I threatened to file a lawsuit for sexual harassment that he finally stopped and let go.
"What the hell are you doing!?!"
"I vas, um... looking out for your best interests."
"Well I hope you have a real good lawyer Kurt! I'll see you in court!"
I tried to walk past him, but he got in my way. Then he gave me those puppy- dog eyes. "Zhis is probably a really bad time to ask you zhis, but vould you go to the dance vith me?"
I couldn't believe my ears! First he chases away Cay, and then he drags me all the way to science (forcefully, might I add), and now he wants me to go out with him? What is he on?
But how can I say no? He's giving me the puppy eyes! I'm a sap for the puppy eyes! This isn't fair. I should punch him right now!
But, again. How can I say no? He's the best friend I've ever had! I can't just say no! "Give me three good reasons."
He smiled. I just gave him a chance. (Hey, it's not a yes, it's not a no, just in-between.) "Vone, because I asked first. Two, because Clay's a jerk. And three, ...I like you..."
Ok, one, Clay was about to ask, but you interfered. Two, Clay's a really sweet guy, you're just jealous. And three, ...as a friend right?
I heard the late bell ring. We still just stood there staring each other down. I want to say no, but I can't. I'm just defective that way. "Fine," I surrendered. "But later, I'm kicking your ass."
He smiled real big. He looked so proud of himself it was almost funny. Almost. "Zhat's great!"
"Yeah, can we go to class now?"
~*~
Kurt was a very satisfied person. He had a date for the dance, and now Van couldn't bug him about being a coward.
As he and Jaeger entered science, they both got written up (again, now they had detention together too), and when they sat down Van prodded Kurt for information.
He mouthed, 'Did you ask her?'
Kurt nodded.
'What did she say?'
'Yes.'
Van gave him a thumbs up then leaned forward and whispered, "I asked Rogue and she hit me. But I haven't given up just yet."
"You're a desperate man. A very desperate man."
Van winked. "I know. Jaeger, you and Kurt are a cute couple."
"Shut up," she growled. "I hate both of you."
"Why do you hate Kurt?" he asked. "What did he do?"
"Kurt's a very sorry man who's gonna get his ass kicked after school."
Van looked surprised. "Did you blackmail her?" he asked Kurt.
He shook his head. "I just kept zhat bastard Clay avay form her."
"Clay's not a bastard!"
"Yes he is," Van agreed. "He had a girlfriend last week. He seduced her, screwed her, and dumped her. Kurt saved you a lot of humiliation and pain. You should thank him."
"I can't picture Clay doing anything like that."
"Ask Debbie. She was his last victim."
"I will," she responded, but sounded less confident than before.
"You can also ask Vicky, and Sarah, and Katie, and—"
"Ok, Clay's a bastard! I get it!"
Kurt smiled. "So you're not mad at me?"
"No, I'm still pretty pissed. Not because of Clay anymore, but that was sexual harassment."
"Whoa," Van said, giving Kurt the next-thing-it'll-be-rape look. "You sexually assaulted Jaeger?"
"Nein!" Kurt exclaimed. "It vas more... it vas out of zhe goodness of my heart. Doesn't that mean anyzhing to you?"
"Maybe," she said.
"Kurt's a molester! You're no better than Clay!"
"Nein! Zhis is not funny anymore!"
The girl sitting next Van had been listening in on the whole conversation and was beginning to feel uncomfortable. She did not like where this was going. "Van, this getting creepy. What if Mrs. Sullivan hears?"
"Kurt, you better not go raping my sister," Jasper joined in. "Or there'll be hell to pay."
"Kurt couldn't rape me even if he wanted to," Jaeger said.
"I don't vant to!"
"Liar!" Van shouted a little too loud.
"What is going on at that back table?" Mrs. Sullivan snarled. "Do I have to send you all too the office?"
"Mrs. Sullivan," Van called back. "Kurt should be arrested! He rapes babies and kills puppies!"
"Vhat!?!" Kurt shouted. "You need help! Don't listen to him, he's crazy!"
She signed some papers. "Both of you, Mr. Kelly's office. Now!"
_~*~_
ME: Hate to leave you hangin' but I just got this cool idea! It's a way to introduce my new character, Skyler (evil person), and build relationships between characters! It's so cool!
Van: I bet you molest chipmunks too!
Kurt: Shut up! I'm gonna kill you!
ME: Anyway, this chapter got in quick because not only did I have very little homework, but it's a shorter chapter too! Score for me!
Jaeger: *Whispers to D-m-n-w-t.* Just don't like, make this dance have lots of slow songs. I don't want to dance to that....
ME: *Smiles evilly.* Beware my tormenting power as a writer.
Jaeger: Oh crap.
Kurt: Make Van shut up!
ME: *Types this: Van suddenly suffered a fatal heart attack and fell to the ground.*
Van: Duh, vampire.
ME: *Types this instead: Van all of a sudden found himself being chased by a pack of hungry wolves, dying to tear him to pieces.*
Van: Shit. AHHHHHHHHHHHH! *Runs from hungry wolves.*
Kurt: Ja, zhat'll vork.
ME: Good.
(Darky): Sorry, you can review now, but please make them sensible. If people are like me and read the reviews before the actual story (to determine how high/low it rates on the quality charts), then they'll think, "Holy shit, this fic is as stupid as the title suggests!" I don't need that, ok? Also, punch your sister for me. Tell her I wanna see a review form her this weekend. Then punch her again.
Van: Yes! Now get the dogs out of here!
ME: Fine. *Makes wolves disappear.* Happy now?
Van: Yes.
ME: Adios! I'll she you all in hell!