Haunted Eyes

Disclaimer: Don't own them obviously

Realizations

After a rather unforgettable trip to Zonko's (Sirius accidentally let loose some fireworks, causing mayhem in the Joke Store) the duo decided to venture on to the Three Broomsticks, eager to get out of the cold. It was starting to snow, so the two began to walk faster until they reached the familiar pub. Sirius opened the door and they walked inside, shaking off snowflake flurries as they went to a booth. Finally the two were dry and warm and patiently waiting for their butterbeer. Seated across each other, both boys were in an uncomfortable state of silence.

"So Remus… How's life?"(1) Right after Sirius asked the question, he mentally slapped his forehead. 'IDIOT!' he berated himself. He was Sirius Black! Master charmer to swooning girls. He was known for his way of words and for his high charisma. But what does he say to a close friend who he had bunked with for years? The friend who told him his ultimate secret and who he confides in. 'Smooth Black… Very smooth' he chastised himself.

But then again, why was he making such a big deal out of things? Remus was his close friend, and Sirius acted stupid around him all the times. Remus was with him through good times and bad. That was what a friend was for. So why was he worrying so much for a lame question? It wasn't that big of a deal. It wasn't like he was trying to impress him like it was a date.

Or was he?

Sirius took a good look at his friend. Remus was staring back at him with a puzzled expression in his eyes, with one brow raised higher than the other. His head was cocked to the side in a questioning manner. A string of damp brown hair fell in front of his left eye and his cheeks and nose were still rosy from being exposed to the cold. He looked like a little child, but still managed to look quite ravishing.

'Waitasec… ravishing?' Sirius thought panicking. Your male friend wasn't supposed to look ravishing! Or damn beautiful either!

'Beautiful?'

Sirius literally smacked his forehead. 'I am NOT having these thoughts. I am NOT having these thoughts. I like GIRLS! Girls with boobs and a nice arse. Though Remus does have quite a fetching arse… DAMMIT!'

Remus looked concern for his friend, but his bewildered look was replaced with a soft smile. Sirius looked cute when he was so flustered up. Being sympathetic to his obviously embarrassed friend, Remus replied with a simple reply, "I'm fine Paddy."

Sirius's cheeks were red, but not from the cold. Not only was he embarrassed, but he was in panic mode. 'I do not have a crush on my best friend. So what if I just notice that's he's good looking with a great ass. It's okay for a guy to admire and respect a guy because of his looks.' The thought really didn't sound reassuring in his head. When had he started to think this way?

"Uh… I gotta go to the loo. Don't drink my butterbeer. Bye!" Sirius stuttered out and rushed to the men's restroom. He couldn't face Remus right now. How could he face him with his new realization?

Shifting through the crowd towards the bathroom, Sirius accidentally bumped into an older man wearing a black trench coat.

"Oh excuse me," Sirius mumbled out when he saw the man's face. Grey eyes met bright silver eyes.

"Watch where you're going!" the man snarled and pushed past Sirius. Sirius gawped at the stranger who replied so rudely back at him.

"No need to get huffy," Sirius mumbled while the man stalked the opposite direction. He said he was sorry! The man didn't have to be so impolite.

Sirius approached the bathroom door with a bright blue "Wizards" sign. Walking past the door and into a stall, he slammed down the toilet lid and sat down, burying his heads in his hands. He forgot all about the strange encounter with the stranger, but began to think what had happened earlier.

'Okay, let's think about the reasons why I would like Remus… That is to say if I like him more than a friend at all.' Thoughts and memories raced through his head, thinking all about the times when Remus was the focus of his attention.

A small, awkward looking boy with patched robes lugging a batter briefcase at the Platform, the hat shouting "GRYFFINDOR!" for the boy with amber eyes, seeing the boy hesitantly answer the question the Professor had asked, scars and cuts running across his body, making friends with the timid boy, realizing he was a werewolf, the fear he had when he figured out his friends knew his dark secrets, the joy he had when his friends became animagus for him, the small smile he had when he won a chess game against James, the tears he had after a nasty transformation, the confused, baffled look he had earlier…

The memories became a jumbled mass in Sirius's head. He had always cared about Remus as a friend. When had the feelings developed into something more? He had always been overprotective of his friend, but that was because of his monthly transformations. He wanted to protect him against the prejudices against werewolves. To protect him from the taunting and jeering Slytherins. He was never overprotective of his other friends. Only Remus.

But that was because he knew James could handle it. If a Slytherin made fun of James, he would just curse the Slytherin or pull a prank on him. Peter he didn't really care for. He wasn't exactly close to the boy as he was James and Remus. And Peter wasn't being insulted by the Slytherins lately either. Remus needed to be protective! And those girls!

The girls who giggled when they saw the shy brown-haired boy reading in the library or answering a question in class. The girls who sighed when he walked pass them in the hall. They weren't as numerous as Sirius's fan club of girls, but Remus had plenty of admirers. But whenever a brave girl approached Remus, Sirius always had something he needed Remus's help with. He steered Remus clear of any conversations with a girl, and nearly blew his top when he saw Remus chatting with Lily.

Flash Back

"See Melissa! I told you there would be no one in the Astronomy tower this early in the day." Sirius whispered into the giggling blonde girl's ear.

The Astronomy tower was a famous make-out place for students, but it was normally deserted during the morning and afternoon, since the stars that romanticized the atmosphere only appeared at night. Sirius couldn't care less about having a romantic atmosphere during his making out with the blonde Hufflepuff. The blonde girl didn't seem to care either.

Pulling the body closer to him, he grabbed the girl's ass while he shoved his tongue down her throat. Lips met and tongues dueled while her hands greedily ran up and down his chest. Pushing her against the stone wall, they engaged in a heavy make-out session.

Sirius's skillful hands went under Melissa's blouse and began to fondle her breasts. She began moaning while she eagerly pulled off his shirt. Ready for a full snog session, Sirius was about to unbutton her blouse until a flash of red caught his eye from the window right next to Melissa's head.

Still fondling Melissa, Sirius took another look outside the window. Though the Astronomy Tower was high up, it was easy to see that the red object was really the hair of a student. A very pretty student who his best friend had a crush on. Narrowing his eyes, Sirius noticed that Lily was talking and laughing with someone else. She was chatting with a figure who had light brown hair and was carrying an armful load of books. The figure looked really familiar, and Sirius realized that she was talking to Remus. Lily Evans, James Potter's dream girl, was chatting and flirting with Remus Lupin!

"We'll have to continue this later," Sirius mumbled out while he rushed out the tower. Melissa's startled and hurt eyes stared at the back of Sirius's disappearing figure. Did the Sirius Black just left during a make-out session with her? Sirius was well known for his status of being 'sex on a stick', but he just left!

Straightening his red-and-yellow striped tie, Sirius ran down the moving steps of Hogwarts. How could Remus be flirting with their friend's crush? He began to grow angry thinking about it. James had fancied Evans ever sine their second year, and he had always looked so crushed and downtrodden when she refused his offers. He and Remus had offered a sympathetic shoulder to him when he had broken down and cried because of her scalding and painful insults towards him. It was a one-time event, and the Marauders never spoke of it again. But it was obvious that James loved Lily.

And Remus was flirting with the very bitch that made their strong and brave friend cry! How could he? Friends don't go dating with their other friend's crush! That was a bloody betrayal!

Sirius stalked out of the castle to the tree Remus and Lily were currently other. Lily has just laughed at something Remus had said and was holding his arm in an admiring matter. Sirius snarled and approached the duo.

"Hey Sirius!" Remus exclaimed cheerfully when he saw his friend advanced toward him and Lily. They were just talking about their latest assignment and were making some silly jokes about Dumbledore's and McGonagall's undying love for each other. He was about to inform Sirius about the joke, but stopped when he saw the look on Sirius's face. He was angry.

"Remus, can I speak to you in private?" Sirius growled out. It wasn't a question it was a command.

Smiling apologetically at Lily, Remus went to join Sirius and see what was his bothering his friend so much. Sirius just glared at Lily, than at Remus, causing him to nervously shift from foot to foot.

Walking a couple of meters away from the red-head, Sirius finally slammed Remus against the nearest tree and snarled out, "What the fuck is your problem Remus?!?!"

Remus cried out when Sirius had harshly pushed him against the tree trunk. That bloody hurt! And what did he mean what was his problem? He didn't do anything! He certainly did nothing that deserved the anger Sirius was currently displaying. "What the bloody hell are you talking about?" Remus spat out while he pushed Sirius away from him. He had no right to slam him against the tree!

"What am I talking about? I'm talking about the fact that you were fucking flirting and touching my best mate's girl! You know Evans is James's love of his life. You had no right to advance on his dream girl after we heard so many times how he was completely in love with her! It's a fucking betrayal to hit on your mate's girl!" Sirius shouted at Remus.

"Flirting with Lily? We were only talking about school! I wouldn't steal James's girl away from him! I don't even like her that way! We're only friends Sirius. Where the fuck did you come to the conclusion that I was acting lovey-dovey with her?" Remus rarely cursed, but he was extremely angry. He would never do that to James!

"Since you two were draping over each other and bloody giggling and flirting!" Sirius yelled back. He couldn't believe that Remus was trying to act all innocent. He saw them with his own eyes!

"You know I wouldn't hurt James that way! Why are you making such a big deal about me talking with her? Why the fuck are you being so accusatory towards me? We're just friends." Remus growled out. The moon was in its waxing phase, and the full moon was approaching soon. The wolf was struggling to dominate his human side and was taking over his emotions. While the wolf was angry, he was also hurt. Why was Padfoot being so mean?

Sirius stared at the glaring yellow eyes, taking in what Remus had just said. Remus and Lily really weren't doing anything when he saw them. The only possible evident he had that Remus was going out with Lily was her hand on his arm, but people who aren't dating make contact with each other all the time. And this was Remus! Remus was selfless and never even approached a girl for a date (mainly because Sirius drove them away). He would certainly never steal their friend's crush since their second year. He always put his friends' feelings above his owns. Of course he wouldn't cheat on their friend!

"Shit Moony… I'm sorry. I just saw you with Evans and blew up." Sirius apologized quietly, staring at the werewolf. The angry yellow eyes softened and began darkening to its original tint.

Remus sighed. He couldn't blame Sirius for being brash when he saw him and Lily together. Lily barely talked to any of the Marauders, but she was being surprisingly friendly to him earlier. He knew Sirius was over-protective and loyal to his friends. Sirius couldn't stand the thought of betrayal of any kind to a friend.

"It's okay Paddy. We all make stupid mistakes and assumptions sometimes."

It was the first time Remus had ever called Sirius Paddy.

End Flash Back

Sirius sighed when he remembered that certain event. It had happened around two months ago. He had been so angry and hurt about the possibility that Remus was going out with Lily. At first, he thought it was because he was being protective of James, but maybe it was the thought of Remus dating someone else. Remus dating a girl. Maybe he was jealous of Lily.

'No ditzy girls deserve Remus. Remus is better than them. But a stupid, reckless, man-slut doesn't deserve him either.' Sirius thought sadly. Stray tears leaked out of his grey eyes while he buried his face into his hand and began to cry.

"I love him."

"Stupid insolent brat!" the stranger growled. That idiotic boy who he was competing for his mate had bumped into him! The boy was mocking him by already being friends with his and ONLY his mate. Though the boy has a closer relationship with his mate, he would later have an even closer relationship. The grey eyed child didn't have a chance of beating him. He would make Remus his mate. And no one would get in his way.

TBC

(1) I usually say this to my friends to break the silence. It drives them crazy.

Author's Note: Well, I haven't update in over FIVE months! No wonder people were getting restless. I am glad to say that this fic is NOT dead. I had got through some major writer's block (bad excuse), and I kept putting off this fic. I probably would've forgotten about it, but than I remembered all the reviews I got over this fic. 83 reviews for a fic under 5000 words is quite a shocking feat. I really didn't want to disappoint anyone. I'll try not to make it a habit to update every half-a-year.