AUTHOR'S NOTE: Many thanks to my fabulous betas, Matt and Cathy, for their patience, fortitude and helpful critique during the writing process. Any and all feedback, comments and critiques are welcome and gratefully accepted.
STAR
TREK: ENTERPRISE
More or
Less
Lt. Malcolm Reed tugged self consciously at the dress uniform that had begun to feel a bit too tight and looked uncomfortably around the room. It wasn't that the Daronians were alien, it was that they looked too "human" and that made the differences even more disconcerting. The ballroom was elegant, the guests wore beautiful clothing and glittered with jewels, the food and drink were delicious and plentiful. It was the kind of reception he had attended on Earth on many occasions and even a few times on other alien worlds, and yet this time it felt disconcertingly different.
Commander Trip Tucker came up beside him, his face mirroring Reed's unease. "What's wrong, Commander? I thought you'd made friends with one of their lady engineers."
Tucker's frown deepened. "We were having this really great conversation about warp core designs and warp field generation. Then she made a pass at me and I wasn't sure how to handle it."
Amusement shone briefly in Reed's eyes, "Not your type?"
"That's just it. She's got a lot of great qualities and normally she'd be someone I'd be very interested in seeing more of. I'm just uncomfortable with . . . I mean, I don't want to sound shallow or anything, but . . . ." his voice drifted off into an uncomfortable silence.
"I know what you mean." Reed looked around the room again, at all the men and women in their beautiful clothes and jewels, every one of them weighing at least 350 pounds. None of them seemed uncomfortable in their substantial frames; they moved easily, whether walking, dancing or simply moving, as though the extra weight had no effect.
Reed replayed in his head the briefing where their Vulcan science officer T'Pol had explained that the lesser gravity on this planet and some unique anatomical differences accounted for the size of the inhabitants. But that didn't make him feel any more comfortable when some of them stared at him with a mixture of discomfort and pity, as though his own size were something to be ashamed of, or attempted to ply him with more food as though they felt it were their duty to fatten him up.
"Oh, no! Here she comes again," Tucker said desperately. "What should I do?"
"It's tough being such a ladies man," Reed responded nonchalantly. "I think I'll take a walk outside and leave you two alone."
"Malcolm . . . !"
"Ah, there you are, Commander. Did you get lost finding the refreshment table? It's over here, let me show you. We need to put a little meat on your bones."
Reed tried to suppress his grin as the Daronian engineer led a squirming Tucker toward the refreshment table. He did a quick check on his security team as he made his way out of the vast room to the outer terrace. Despite T'Pol's reassurance that these people appeared to be peaceful and civilized, the Tactical Officer in him had to be sure the Captain and the rest of the Enterprise personnel at the party were being watched over, especially since they had been forbidden to carry phase pistols or any other weapons at the party. Of course, the fact that he felt comfortable enough to leave the party himself was his own tacit agreement with T'Pol's assessment.
Malcolm stood at the far edge of the terrace, breathing in the sweet air that was so close to Earth's and enjoying the peace and serenity away from the crowded ballroom, with all its color, sound and dazzle.
A soft sound from the other side of the terrace caught his attention and he turned toward it, his hand reaching instinctively for the phase pistol that wasn't there. The hand stopped along with the rest of his body, frozen in surprise, when he identified the source of the sound.
"You must be Lt. Reed from Enterprise," said the lovely young woman on the other side of the terrace. She appeared to be in her mid 20s and was about 5'6" tall with reddish brown hair that tumbled to her shoulders in lustrous waves. The brilliantly green eyes that were the defining characteristic of the Daronians were placed in a delicately sculpted face with soft wide lips that were now set in an amused smile. The contours of her body were hidden by a fluffy red dress that seemed deliberately designed to made her look bulkier, but as a trained observer Malcolm could follow the true lines of her body and guessed she couldn't be more than 140 pounds. She was holding a plate heaped with food and popped an hors d'oeuvre in her mouth as he stood gaping at her.
The silence dragged on for a few moments while Malcolm tried to regain his composure. Finally, her words sank in and he realized he hadn't yet answered. "Oh, yes. I'm sorry, yes, of course, I'm Lt. Malcolm Reed . . . from the Enterprise. How did you know?" He felt the flush rise in his face as he realized how flustered he sounded.
Popping another hors d'oeuvre in her mouth and chewing thoughtfully, the young woman ignored the question and instead remarked, "The dishes your chef prepared for the banquet are quite interesting. I've never had anything quite like this before. What is it called?"
Forcing his eyes from her face, Malcolm looked toward the plate at the item she was holding slightly above it. "That's called a stuffed mushroom," he responded, grateful to hear that his voice sounded more normal now that he was no longer looking into those mesmerizing eyes.
"Stuffed mushroom," she repeated thoughtfully. "What is a mushroom and what is this one stuffed with?"
He struggled for a moment at how to explain that the mushroom was an edible fungi and decided that his description just didn't sound very appetizing. "Sorry, I just know that it's good to eat. You'll have to ask our chef about the ingredients."
"I'm surprised the head of security of a starship traveling to alien worlds would eat something without understanding what's in it," she said, the hint of a smile pulling at her lips again.
A frown creased Malcolm's forehead as he returned a now steely gaze to her eyes and responded a bit too tightly, "Our doctor has thoroughly tested all the foods being provided by both of our peoples this evening to make sure we wouldn't inadvertently harm each other. I'm confident of his skill in this matter."
"But, of course, you reviewed the results personally anyway, as any good security officer would."
He was momentarily torn between saying 'no, I trust the doctor implicitly' just to see the look on her face, but the truth won out. "Of course."
"I would expect no less from a fellow professional," she responded, the sly smile becoming wide and dazzling.
"A fellow . . .," his voice trailed off again as he felt the flush returning to his face. "I'm sorry. You must think me very rude. I never even asked your name."
"You'd have to be a pretty smart fellow to be in your position, so I just assumed you'd figured it out already," she responded, picking another stuffed mushroom off her plate. "Umm, these are quite marvelous. Would you like some?" she asked, holding the plate out to him. She laughed at the pained expression on his face as he looked at the plate. "I imagine my people have been plying you with food all evening. You're probably ready to burst."
"They seem to think we're going to shrivel away to nothing," he responded with a grin.
Her smile faltered a little. "They aren't very . . . comfortable . . . with people who are different," she said. "Size is a sign of prosperity and health among our people. Those who are not an appropriate size are seen as unhealthy – or, to some, genetically inferior."
"If you don't mind my saying so, you are much smaller than the others, but you don't look either unhealthy or in any way inferior to me."
The smile left her eyes and her lips tightened slightly. "Looks can be deceiving," she said softly. "You really should get back to the party. There are plenty of beautiful women there who would love to spend time with one of our honored guests. We can talk about security matters tomorrow at the briefing."
"So you are Councilor Xaron's daughter, Zerina, the head of council security?"
"I am," she acknowledged with a nod.
"It's a pleasure to meet you Zerina," he said, offering his hand.
She looked at it quizzically, then placed her own in it. He shook her hand, then held it as he looked into her eyes again. Finally, he managed to say, "I'm sorry I keep staring at you, but you are one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen."
He was surprised and dismayed when her eyes misted with tears. She pulled her hand from his and stepped back, covering the momentary lapse with a steely gaze. "Lt. Reed," she said coldly, "we are both professionals in our field and I expect to be treated as a professional. I've worked very hard to get where I am today, and I don't appreciate being patronized."
"I'm sorry, I never intended . . ." he stammered, but she was gone in a swirl of red.
Malcolm fidgeted uncomfortably, waiting for the Councilor's effusive greetings to the away team to end and for her daughter to appear for the security briefing. He was nervous that Zerina might have been so offended by whatever he'd said to upset her the previous night that she would send someone else in her place. If so, he'd be forced to ask to see her to apologize and that would mean bringing the captain or her mother into it, which would embarrass all of them.
Finally, the Councilor finished her greetings and began introducing the members of Enterprise's bridge crew to the Daronian experts in their respective fields. Trip Tucker was led away by an excited group of chattering engineers, including his lady friend of the night before. Hoshi Sato left the room talking animatedly in Daronian with a linguist and a communications expert. Travis Mayweather was teamed up with a pilot from the Daronian space exploration team and an astronomer specializing in navigation. And Dr. Phlox left the room already in deep discussion with the planet's leading anatomist and biologist.
When the others had gone and it was only Captain Archer, Councilor Xaron, her aide and Reed, the councilor turned a troubled smile to Reed. "Lt. Reed, before I bring in our security expert, I wanted to talk to you about her."
Certain that Zerina had told her mother about their encounter the night before, Reed blurted out, "I'm truly sorry if I offended your daughter last night, Councilor. It was totally unintentional and I would like the opportunity to apologize to her directly."
The Councilor's eyes widened in surprise. "You spoke with my daughter last night?"
"Yes," Malcolm responded, very aware of the anger that flared in his captain's eyes at not having been advised of this potential problem.
The Councilor wrung her hands in distress as she spoke. "I'm sorry, Lieutenant. My daughter insisted on coming to the party to oversee security for the council members, but she wasn't supposed to allow herself to be seen. I'm afraid our own people, even though they are accustomed to her . . . genetic defect . . . are still unsettled by it and some can be quite . . . unkind about it. We didn't want there to be any unpleasantness in front of our guests. I'm terribly sorry if you were put in an uncomfortable position.
"In fact, Captain," she said turning her attention to Archer, "my daughter's condition is one of the things our doctors want to talk to your doctor about. We're hoping you might be able to help us with a cure."
"If we can, we'll be happy to help," Archer responded promptly. "I'll notify Dr. Phlox to give you his complete cooperation."
"I'd be most grateful," the Councilor responded.
"I'm sorry," Reed interrupted, "I don't want to appear dense, but I'm not sure what you mean by your daughter's genetic defect. I didn't see anything wrong with her. In fact, she's one of the most attractive women I've ever seen."
"That's very kind of you to say," the Councilor responded, obviously not believing his words had been sincere. "And I expect that since she looks much more like your people than our own that perhaps you do mean it. But among her own people my daughter is considered quite homely because of her size. On Daronia being large is a sign of prosperity and health, and those few children born with the disease my daughter has that prevents them from getting even half the size of a normal Daronian are considered weak and sickly. Most are unable to find work other than the most menial jobs and they have great difficulty finding a mate, unless it's someone with the same illness.
"My daughter has never allowed her illness to hold her back. She struggled to get her position with the Security Directorate and has done an admirable job there. But her condition is a difficult burden and she won't be able to advance any further because of it. Were it not for my position as a council member, she may not even have made it this far." She smiled thinly, "I find it sadly ironic that my people seem to be much more accepting of the same differences in your people that they are contemptuous of in their own."
They were interrupted by the opening of the door as Zerina walked in. Malcolm had to restrain a gasp. Like her dress of the night before, the caftan-like uniform she wore was too big and was layered as if attempting to give the illusion that its wearer was larger than she actually was. All that Malcolm could see was the lovely woman inside it.
"Captain Archer, Lt. Reed, this is my daughter, Zerina, head of Council Security. As I advised you previously, the head of the Security Directorate and his two assistants are currently unavailable dealing with some internal matters on the other side of the planet and won't be back until early next week, but I'm sure Zerina can answer all of your questions in the meantime."
"Captain. Lieutenant." Zerina nodded formally to each man in turn. "Welcome to Daronia. I'll be happy to assist you in any way I can during your stay with us. I understand that Lt. Reed is to tour our security facilities while you meet with the Council, Captain. I will see to it personally."
"And this is our security training center," Zerina said with obvious pride, guiding Malcolm into a nondescript building across the square from the Council complex.
Malcolm was grateful that there appeared to be no hard feelings about the night before. He'd made a point to apologize as soon as he and Zerina were alone, and she'd graciously accepted as though anxious to forget the incident had ever happened.
Since the tour had been of little interest so far, primarily having been of the various Council chambers and public spaces, highlighted by the assorted audio and video surveillance devices used to monitor those areas, Malcolm perked up at the thought of actually seeing how the Daronian security forces were equipped and trained.
He was quickly impressed by the efficiency and professionalism of the various officers they met in the complex, from the front desk guard who closely scrutinized his Council approved security clearances, to the armory chief who balked at letting him handle any weapons until Zerina stared him down, to the drill sergeant they were now watching run his contingent through strenuous training exercises. Again, Malcolm found himself impressed at how easily and smoothly the large men and women could move. Their size seemed to have no effect on their speed, efficiency or stamina.
"It's incredible," he finally said.
"What?" Zerina asked, pulling a bag out of her pocket and offering him what appeared to be some type of nuts.
"I'm sorry," he said, while shaking his head at the proffered snack. "You would probably consider what I was thinking to be very rude. It's just one of those cultural differences I need to adjust to."
"The best way to get over those cultural differences is to talk about them," she said popping some nuts into her mouth and munching them as she looked expectantly at him.
"It's just that people of that size on our world would have great difficulty doing the types of strenuous drills your people are doing."
"From what I understand, that difference has more to do with physics and anatomy than it does with culture," she responded easily. "It has to do with the gravitational differences between the two planets and genetic differences in our bodies. Since our gravity is not as heavy as yours, it doesn't create as great a strain on the body, allowing larger bodies to have the same, or even greater, range of motion and tolerance for physical activity as you have on your world. But if any of our people were to go to your environment, perhaps visiting your ship," the subtle hint for an invitation evident in the amusement in her voice, "they would probably have difficulty performing this type of physical activity."
"I understand the concept," he responded. "It's just fascinating to see it in practice," he continued, turning toward her, then stopping in surprise.
She was staring at him assessingly as she drank from a large bottle that contained a purplish liquid. Realizing he had been looking the other way when she pulled it out and the quizzical look was probably because he was wondering where it came from, she reached into the voluminous folds of the caftan and pulled out another bottle and tossed it to him. "These tents I'm required to wear have some advantages, including lots of hidden pockets. That's just water. The one I'm drinking is a special concoction that assists with my medical condition.
"I imagine my mother told you all about my 'genetic disorder'. It's the bane of her existence. One of its drawbacks is that I must eat and drink consistently throughout the day to maintain my metabolism at a steady rate. If I go too long without either, I become very ill. As you can imagine, that is an extremely difficult obstacle for someone in our profession to overcome. I wouldn't be much good to anyone in a siege situation."
"Then I suppose the best idea would be to avert trouble before it becomes a siege situation."
She smiled at him, then laughed out loud. "I like the way you think, Lieutenant. Come, there's something else I want to show you."
"Please, call me Malcolm," he said, as he followed her down a long hall to an unmarked door.
Zerina keyed in a sequence on the pad on the wall next to the door, and it obediently swished open to reveal a roughly square room approximately 20 feet long and wide and 12 feet high. As she passed through the door, Zerina pulled off the flowing caftan, carelessly dropping it onto the floor just inside the doorway.
Malcolm tried to stifle his surprised gasp, then realized that despite appearances otherwise, she was still wearing a one piece leotard that was only slightly darker than her natural skin tone. He watched in awe as she did a few quick stretches, then effortlessly launched into a complicated series of gymnastic flips, jumps and tumbles that took her across the room and back again. Malcolm clapped as she landed on her feet in front of him, carelessly tossing back her bob of reddish brown hair. "That's pretty amazing," he said. "How are you able to get so much height into those jumps."
She smiled impishly at him as she took a long swig from the bottle of purple liquid. "Why don't you try it?"
"Me?" he asked incredulously.
"Try some moves you'd use in an 'under fire' situation if that's more comfortable for you than what I was doing."
Taking off his uniform jacket and stretching awkwardly under her steady gaze, Malcolm tried to concentrate on the sequence of moves he wanted to make -- handspring into roll, then right up again to confront the invisible enemy at the end of the room. He took off, moved into the handspring and was dumbstruck when the pushoff sent him almost 6 feet in the air. The unanticipated height threw off his concentration and he found himself falling toward the floor again at an awkward angle. He managed to compensate and tuck into the roll just as he hit the floor. Using the momentum of the roll, he was able to come out of it and jump up as he'd planned, but was surprised again when instead of landing lightly on his feet he went about 2 feet into the air before dropping down again.
"What was that?" he asked.
She smiled mischievously. "Every liability has a corresponding asset," she responded.
"But our security team trained in a room adjusted to your planet's gravity. We found many movements easier and were able to gain some height in jumps and turns, but nothing like this. And just walking around on the planet, I feel the difference in the gravity, but certainly not enough that I would have thought this possible."
"The difficulty with trying to simulate an environment you've never been in is that it's very easy to miscalculate or to miss something in the equation because you don't know it exists." She took another long sip from her drink and picked up the caftan to pull another small bag, this one containing small slivers that resembled potato sticks, out of one of the pockets. "I spend a great deal of my training time in this room practicing the kinds of flips and jumps the others will never be able to do because of their mass. It's the one and only advantage I have over any of them and I intend to make sure that when the time comes and I need to use it, that I'll be ready."
"If you consider this your only advantage, I'm wondering why you'd let me, a perfect stranger and a possible security threat, know about it. And let me know I can do it too." He plopped down beside her, grabbed his water bottle and took a long drink.
She shrugged easily, "I'm a pretty good judge of character, Malcolm. It's one of the reasons I've been able to make it as far as I have. And I think your people and mine are going to be great friends," she added, holding his gaze a little longer than necessary as she tapped her bottle against his in mock toast.
The following day it was the Enterprise crew's turn to host the Daronians. Since the ship's gravity had been adjusted to make the visit more comfortable for their guests, as he headed toward the shuttle bay, Malcolm noticed several crewmembers who seemed to be having difficulty adjusting. Because of the time he had spent on Daronia the previous day, he had barely noticed the transition when the setting on the gravity generator had been lowered, but it amused him to see the crewmen carefully walking down the hallway, placing one foot solidly in front of the other, as if they were afraid they would float away if they weren't careful enough.
He made a mental note to double check that his security teams were handling the transition smoothly. No matter how friendly these aliens seemed, it didn't pay to relax their guard too much. Enterprise's crew had already learned that lesson the hard way and Malcolm didn't plan to repeat those mistakes.
He arrived at the shuttle bay moments before the shuttle carrying their visitors docked. Captain Archer, Vice Commander T'Pol and Hoshi Sato were already there; Trip Tucker joined them just as the docking sequence was completed.
"How many of them are coming?" Tucker asked.
"Three council members with a two person security escort, one engineer, one linguist, one pilot and two doctors," Reed reported without hesitation.
"If this meeting goes well," T'Pol interjected, "there may be other Daronians coming up in the next few days, as well as other opportunities for Enterprise's crew to go down to the surface."
"My engineering team sure would be grateful for a little shore leave," Tucker responded.
The shuttle bay doors opened and Zerina walked through, eyes quickly scanning the assembled officers and the hallways beyond. Malcolm was surprised to see that, instead of the caftan, she was wearing a form fitting uniform that clung to her ample curves and gave easy access to the weapon belt at her hip. A laser pistol hung from one side of the belt and a stun gun from the other. His hand unconsciously brushed across the phase pistol at his own hip.
Apparently satisfied that all was safe for her charges, Zerina nodded toward the doorway, then turned and smiled at Captain Archer. "Captain. It's a pleasure to see you again. May I present Council members Zartok and Kelendon. And you've already met Councilor Xaron."
Archer stepped forward to greet the visitors and quickly introduced them to his assembled senior staff.
Malcolm watched the visitors carefully. Councilor Xaron appeared to be at ease, but the other two Council members, Kelendon especially, seemed uncomfortable and ill at ease. Malcolm saw Kelendon's gaze pass over Zerina and his jaw tighten as if her presence annoyed him. Kelendon's gaze left Zerina and moved to the assembled Enterprise officers. He was clearly startled when his eyes settled on Malcolm and he realized Malcolm's gaze was firmly settled on him.
Malcolm forced a smile to his lips but he couldn't make it go to his eyes. Kelendon looked very much like a potential security problem and Malcolm intended to keep his eyes on the man.
"Lt. Reed," Zerina's voice broke through his concentration, and he shifted his gaze to find her standing beside him. "Is there a problem?" she asked evenly, but softly enough that the others wouldn't overhear.
"Not yet," he responded cryptically.
"Kelendon's a pompous ass and he may pose some political problems," she said softly, keeping her back to her people so they couldn't tell what she was saying, "but he's not a security risk. You really need to stop looking at him like you're just waiting for a reason to use that phase pistol on him. Especially since I'm duty bound to protect him and you're going to have to go through me first."
"I'm sorry," Malcolm replied, his smile becoming more genuine as he looked at her, "there's just something about him that sets off my internal alarm."
Zerina smiled in return, but her words were serious, "His problem is not with you or your people, it's with me. So tone it down, please."
"Okay, but why . . .?"
"Not now. I'll explain later."
The other Daronian visitors had entered the hallway, which was becoming quite cramped due to their size. Quickly Captain Archer and Councilor Xaron paired up Enterprise officers with their respective charges and sent them on their way. T'Pol took charge of the doctors to escort them to Dr. Phlox in sickbay and Travis Mayweather arrived as they were leaving to take charge of the pilot. Finally, only Captain Archer, Malcolm, Zerina, the three Council members and the second Daronian security officer were left. Malcolm took quick stock of the security officer, a massive man who had to be at least 400 pounds. His eyes were darting around suspiciously, as if he expected an imminent attack. Those eyes finally met Zerina's and she stared at him calmly, no hint of fear or apprehension in her eyes. That seemed to settle him and his posture became more relaxed.
Malcolm saw Zerina make a small motion with her head and the guard nodded his head in acknowledgment. As the group began to move to begin the tour, the large man moved in front of the Councilors, while Zerina and Malcolm dropped behind them to cover the flank.
"You must have the place pretty well covered to feel secure enough to stay back here with me," Zerina said quietly.
"I take my responsibility to this ship and its crew very seriously," Malcolm responded, knowing every corridor was covered by audio and visual security systems and every location Daronian visitors were set to visit, as well as some high security areas that weren't on the tour, had at least one fully armed security officer stationed in it. And if worse came to worse, T'Pol was standing by and could, on a moment's notice, reset the gravity generators to make it very unpleasant for their visitors if any of them were to try to cause trouble.
"As I take my duty to protect our Councilors," Zerina responded. "For what it's worth, I don't really expect there to be any trouble from your people. My mother would have been just as happy not to bring security at all. Zartok and Kelendon wouldn't hear of coming without it. In fact, they wanted an even bigger detail. Two was our compromise." She leaned in conspiratorially, "Mother told them they'd have trouble fitting any more in your tiny corridors without them getting stuck."
Malcolm coughed to cover the laugh he wasn't able to fully stifle. Kelendon turned and looked at them suspiciously, but Zerina produced an innocent smile and Malcolm gave him a half hearted shrug saying, "Sorry, got a tickle in my throat."
The tour was uneventful and Malcolm was grateful when they made it to the last stop – Sickbay. Councilor Xaron had been very charming throughout the visit and Councilor Zartok had warmed as the visit went on, especially after a brief stop at the galley for some refreshments, but Kelendon had remained cold and stoic the entire time. Malcolm couldn't wait for the man to get off his ship. Whether his problem really was with Zerina and not Enterprise or her crew, the man sent off negative vibrations that were palpable. And those vibrations made Malcolm edgy and nervous.
Between the three Councilors, the Captain, Doctor Phlox, the two Daronian doctors, Malcolm, Zerina and the other Daronian security officer, there was very little room to move in the cramped Sickbay. Malcolm glanced over at Zerina who was standing next to him. She seemed just as bored as he was and he found himself wishing they could slip out of the crowded room and find someplace a little quieter to . . .
"Zerina, dear."
"Yes, Councilor," Zerina responded to her mother.
"Since this is the last stop, we're going to head back to the shuttle. You're to stay here and talk to Dr. Phlox. He has some questions for you and would like to conduct some tests regarding your condition."
"I'll be happy to come back and talk to the Doctor after I've escorted you back to Daronia," Zerina responded.
"Nonsense. You're already here. It's ridiculous to waste so much time leaving and coming back. Besides, Kurac is more than capable of getting us back to the planet without you."
Zerina's eyes narrowed, "I have every confidence in Kurac's abilities, Councilor, but I am personally responsible for your protection, and I would prefer to make sure all of you make it safely back to the council chambers myself."
"As if you'd be any help in an emergency," Malcolm heard Kelendon mutter under his breath, and he felt a surge of anger as he saw the barest of reactions that indicated Zerina had heard the man too.
"That's not at all necessary. After all, what kind of danger do you think we could possibly be in?" Xaron said sweetly, slipping her arm through Archer's. "Do you think Captain Archer is going to fire on us on the way down?"
Zerina frowned, watching the trap tighten around her.
"Besides," her mother purred, "once you're done with the doctor, I'm sure Lt. Reed can show you his . . . weapons or other security devices to make your stay worthwhile. Isn't that right, Lieutenant."
Malcolm could see the fury dancing behind Zerina's eyes and her set jaw, but forced himself to remain completely composed. "Councilor, I'd be very happy to give Zerina a more comprehensive tour of the ship's security systems if she wishes," he responded perfectly deadpan.
Zerina's furious eyes turned on him, but she responded very neutrally, "Thank you, Lieutenant. That's very kind of you." Turning to Dr. Phlox, she said, "I appreciate you taking time out of your busy schedule, doctor, but I must inconvenience you a bit further as I insist on at least accompanying the councilors back to the shuttle."
"Of course," Phlox responded amiably. "I understand that duty calls. I'll be here when you get back."
"Ugh," Zerina said two hours later as she and Malcolm took seats in the mess hall, "No offense to Phlox, but I hate doctors -- and their poking and prodding and scanning. I've had to put up with it my entire life and it never gets any better."
"Is that why your mother ambushed you like that?"
Zerina sighed, "I told her I'd get around to seeing the doctor as soon as I could. I guess she didn't believe me."
"I can't imagine why not," Malcolm responded with a grin.
"Ha, ha," she replied, putting a forkful of mashed potatoes in her mouth as she examined the meatloaf on her plate with some suspicion.
"I know it doesn't look that appetizing, but it's really quite good," Malcolm commented.
Zerina cut off a small piece, put it in her mouth and chewed thoughtfully. "Mm," she said, "it really is quite tasty. I could get used to the food on this ship."
"If things continue to go well, you may have more opportunities to sample it."
"My mother is already sold and Zartok is on his way. If anyone is going to be a problem, it will be Kelendon."
"What does he have against you?"
"I exist," she said bitterly, putting down her fork, then picking it up and poking listlessly at the food on her plate.
Malcolm waited quietly until she finally continued, "My mother is from one of the most respected families on Daronia and she has always been quite beautiful. When she was young, she was considered one of the most desirable women on the planet. All the finest young men from the best families wanted to be chosen as her mate. Kelendon was the frontrunner – until my father came along. Kelendon's family was also one of the best; my father's family was good, but not top tier like them. It didn't matter to mother. She fell head over heels in love with my father and nothing anyone said – her parents, her friends, her brothers and sisters – could convince her not to marry him. So she did. Kelendon was not happy, but there was nothing he could do about it and eventually he married someone else.
"A few years later I was born. Of course, there was quite a stir about my mother producing a genetically defective child, and most people blamed it on my father's genes. Kelendon and his wife had a son – a perfect Daronian boy -- around the same time. I've often wondered if he's always hated me because he assumed he and my mother would have had that perfect child together, saving her from all of the embarrassment she's had to endure, or if he was horrified by the thought that he might have been saddled with a genetically inferior child if he'd married her.
"Anyway, life is full of irony and two years later my brother was born. The perfect Daronian child in every way. Within six months of his birth he was almost twice my size. It made for a very interesting childhood." She smiled fondly at the memories. "My parents, especially my father, were always supportive of me, making me participate in all the same activities as the other children and not letting my differences dictate my life. They insisted on taking me on all the outings and to all the parties, even though there were many who were uncomfortable with having to face my illness.
"In the meantime, Kelendon had two other children and all five of us went to school together. We grew up being the best of friends. Janik, the oldest, adored my mother and listened to everything she had to say, even if it conflicted with his family's beliefs. And in that way, he grew up never seeing me as flawed or imperfect as his father did. I was just Zerina to him, not the sickly girl or the defective girl or the one who was an annoyance because she had to be fed all the time." Her gaze had gone faraway and there was a look of sadness on her face.
"He fell in love with you," Malcolm prodded gently.
"Yes, the poor boy. He fell hard. And I fell just as hard for him." She closed her eyes for a minute to push back the tears that were threatening. "When he told his father he was planning to marry me, well, let's just say it was quite a scene. Kelendon had quite a few unkind things to say about me, my mother, my father, my parentage in general and how no genetically inferior runt was ever going to seduce his son, marry into his family and ruin his genetically perfect bloodlines."
"I'm so sorry," Malcolm said softly. "It must have been terrible for you."
She nodded. "I was young and just innocent enough to believe Janik would do exactly what my mother had done when everyone told her not to marry my father. I expected he would tell his father what he could do with his bigotry and his perfect bloodlines; but I was wrong. Two weeks later he'd been shipped off to school on the other side of the planet and a year later he was married, very much against his will as I understand it, to a girl from a high ranking family with no skinny bodies hiding in their closet. They had their fourth genetically perfect child last year."
"And what about you?" Malcolm asked gently.
"What about me?" she asked with a shrug. "I have my work. That's important to me. I have a few close friends who are open minded enough to see past what I look like to who I am inside. I have my mother. Sometimes I have my brother, but Janik was his best friend and having that friendship strained because of me was very difficult for him. I know they still keep in contact. Since Jalin and his family live quite a distance away, seeing them regularly is not an option. I suppose that makes the few visits a year we do have that much more pleasant."
"What about boyfriends?"
"I date sometimes, not often. Most of the men I meet are more interested in my family's position than in me as a person. It usually doesn't take them long to make it clear they're willing to take on the 'burden' of my illness in order to raise their own social stature, but only as long as I'm willing to quit my incredibly inappropriate job once the engagement is announced." She rolled her eyes in disdain. "It's quite satisfying to see the looks on their faces when I tell them I don't need their generosity or their pity, and my family certainly doesn't need the 'burden' of their genes mucking up the pool."
Malcolm couldn't help laughing at the picture she painted. He could almost see her standing there with her hands on her hips or crossed over her chest telling the jerk of the moment where he could stick his proposal.
She smiled warmly at him, "I think I've gotten myself a reputation. There haven't been any of those losers in almost a year now. What about you? Anyone special in your life?"
Malcolm's grinned faded a little. "Not currently. It's sometimes difficult on a ship this size to maintain a relationship. There's very little privacy and quite a bit of gossip. There's also an almost 2 to 1 ratio of men to women, so that makes things even more difficult. And being head of Tactical, I don't feel it's appropriate for me to date any of my subordinates, so that limits the dating pool even further."
"What about back home?"
"I dated quite a bit, but there's no one keeping the home fires burning for me."
Zerina was quiet a moment as if pondering the information he'd provided, but then she surprised him with a change of subject. "I've noticed that everyone I've met on your ship so far seems to be of a similar shape. There is some marginal range in weight but not much. I expected more diversity from your comment yesterday about larger people on your world not being able to move as well. I just assumed they were commonplace."
Malcolm considered the comment a moment before responding. "As I said yesterday, people the size of yours on our planet have greater difficulty functioning in our gravitational conditions than your people do in yours. Add to that the limited amount of space on a starship like this one, and it's easier to understand why Starfleet has strict health requirements, including weight restrictions, for those who want to travel into space. Enterprise is our first warp 5 ship and will be going farther than any ship we've built so far. It's a much more hazardous journey than any that's been taken by our people so far, so only the most fit and the smartest were chosen for the trip."
She nodded thoughtfully. "But there are large people on your home planet?"
"Some," he responded. "Our medical science has advanced to the point that most of the health conditions that cause our people to be overweight have been eliminated."
She frowned slightly, "So there is reason to hope that your doctor might find a cure for me after all."
"Phlox is from a race called Denobulans who are even more advanced scientifically than we are. There's definitely reason to hope, although no one can make any promises."
Their conversation was interrupted by the intraship comm, "T'Pol to Lt. Reed."
Malcolm got up from his seat, went to the closest comm unit and flicked the switch, "Reed here."
"Captain Archer would like to know how much longer our guest will be staying. He would like to reset the gravity generators to normal before the crew become too accustomed to the lesser gravity."
Malcolm looked at Zerina quizzically.
"I'd like to stay awhile longer," she said, "if it's not an inconvenience for you. But please tell the Captain he can reset the gravity as soon as he likes. I don't expect it will bother me too much. And I have to admit I'm a little curious as to what your 'normal' feels like."
"Reed to T'Pol. Our guest will be staying another two hours or so, but she says she has no problem with you resetting the gravity generators now. Although you may want to check with Doctor Phlox first to be sure he has no concerns."
"Understood. I'll notify you when we begin the procedure in case there are any unexpected complications."
"Fine. Reed out."
After dinner, Malcolm took Zerina on a more leisurely tour of the ship.
"It's nice getting to actually look at your ship this time," she said. "When I was on duty earlier, I was much more interested in where your people were and what they were doing than what the place actually looks like. It's functional without being antiseptic."
"Commander Tucker will be pleased by that compliment. He helped design and build her."
She nodded and frowned slightly, "I can feel the difference in the gravity now. It's like my feet are sticking to the floor, and I have to pull harder to get them unstuck. It's a strange feeling."
Malcolm smiled, "A few more visits and you won't notice the difference as much."
She smiled back, "I'd very much like that opportunity."
Zerina was humming as she entered the comfortable home she shared with her mother on Daronia later that night.
"Well, well, look who finally made it back," came her mother's amused voice from the homey living area on the right side of the central hall. "I was beginning to wonder if I needed to send a rescue party."
"What are you still doing up, mother? It's way past your bed time. You have a long day ahead of you tomorrow."
"The last time I saw my daughter she was on a ship full of aliens. You'll have to forgive me if I felt the need to make sure you made it back in one piece. It's a mother's prerogative to worry a little . . . no matter how big her little girl has grown or how independent she's become."
"Well, I'm home safe now, so you can stop worrying."
"Can I, Zerina?" Xaron asked, the amusement gone from her voice, replaced with a touch of concern. "You seem enthralled by our visitors . . . especially Lieutenant Reed. I haven't seen you this happy since . . . in a very long time."
The smile was gone from Zerina's face and she no longer felt like humming. "Why is it that I can't ever win with you, mother. You're constantly at me to get out in the world and try new things, but when I'm enthusiastic about meeting the new people visiting our world, seeing their ship and finding out about their customs, all the sudden I'm too happy. Is it so awful for me to enjoy being among people who don't constantly look at me like I'm some kind of pathetic cripple or treat me like I'm the token "runt" on the security staff? What do you want from me?"
"I wish you'd stop being so sensitive. I'm not criticizing, I'm expressing concern. I know it must be unsettling for you to spend time with these people who look so much more like you than your own people, and I imagine probably treat you better than most of your own people. I just don't want you getting carried away and mistaking their kindness and attentiveness for something else."
Zerina rolled her eyes in disgust. "Don't worry, mother. I haven't forgotten what a total fool I was about Janik. And I understand that Enterprise, and all of its crew, will be gone in a week. I don't intend to do anything stupid or that will cause you any further embarrassment, so you can stop worrying."
"Zerina! You know that's not what I meant," Xaron said in exasperation as her daughter disappeared down the hallway, the door to her bedroom slamming and locking after her.
Malcolm hurried to the shuttlebay, shoving the small bag chef had given him into one of the larger pockets in his jumpsuit as he ran, not wanting to be late and risk missing the shuttle. Things were going so well with the Daronians that the Captain had agreed it was safe for the crew to rotate out on shore leave for the next several days. Shuttles were leaving on the hour and Malcolm didn't want to have to waste an hour waiting for the next one. He was looking forward to spending more time on the planet, especially if much of that time could be spent with Zerina.
He was perplexed by the change in her demeanor the past two days. She had seemed so comfortable and relaxed on her first visit to Enterprise, but the following day on Daronia and the next back on Enterprise, she had still been friendly, but much more distant. She'd also tactfully rebuffed any questions of a personal nature and managed to avoid spending any time alone with him. But she had seemed pleased by the small treats he had brought her from Enterprise's galley and to truly appreciate his bringing them. He hoped having some time with her when they were both off duty would allow him to break through the defenses she had suddenly put up and figure out why they'd been put there in the first place.
He slid through the doors just as the crewman in charge signaled for them to be closed and sealed, and breathed a sigh of relief as he sat down to enjoy the short flight.
Malcolm peered out the window as the shuttle prepared to land and was pleased to see that Zerina was at the landing site. She was standing just beyond the debarkation point with her arms crossed over her chest, wearing the oversized caftan that was her standard uniform while on planet. Malcolm couldn't help thinking how much better the form fitting uniform she had worn on Enterprise suited her.
He got off the shuttle and moved toward Zerina, his smile slipping a little as he noticed the dark circles under her eyes and the signs of distress in the tightness around her mouth. She didn't seem to notice him at first, and appeared distracted, as though something were weighing heavily on her mind.
"Is something wrong?" Malcolm asked when her eyes finally met his. "You seem . . . unsettled."
"I'm fine," she responded tightly. "Just a little tired. I haven't been sleeping well."
"I'm sorry to hear that," he said. "I'm off duty today, and I was hoping you'd be able to free up some time to show me around your planet a little more."
"I have work . . . ," she started to say, when another voice cut her off.
"What a wonderful idea," Xaron said appearing from Malcolm's other side and slipping her arm through his. "Zerina has been putting in a lot of overtime lately. I'm sure we can do without her for the rest of the day."
Zerina's mouth was a straight line of pulsing fury. "Councilor," she said through clenched teeth, "we have a large number of 'visitors' on planet today. It is not a good time for me to be taking a vacation day."
"Nonsense," Xaron laughed, "if any of our visitors start to cause trouble, we'll just sit on them. That should stop them without any fuss. We certainly don't need you for that."
Malcolm couldn't restrain the laugh that escaped him at the visual of Xaron's solution that passed through his mind, but he tried to stifle it when Zerina turned a stern glare on him.
After glaring at him for another minute, she threw up her hands and said, "Fine, let our visitors have the run of the place. They can even take over the Council chamber itself. Why should I care?" before turning and stalking away.
Malcolm looked after her in concern. Xaron squeezed his arm reassuringly. "It's not you, Lieutenant, well, at least not in the way you're thinking anyway. My daughter is struggling with some difficult decisions right now. What a person thinks they want is not always what's best for them. But then I imagine you know that already. You seem to be a very sensible young man."
Malcolm smiled halfheartedly at her. "I'm not sure sensible is the best word to describe me right now. I seem to have taken a detour off that road, especially where your daughter is concerned, and I'm not sure how to get back on it."
"I think you're right where you need to be," the woman responded warmly. "Now go after her before she decides to take that vacation day without you."
"Thank you, Councilor," he said gratefully and hurried in the direction Zerina had disappeared.
As the aircar sped across the bare plains to the distant shore, Malcolm leaned over the control panel in fascination. "It's remarkably fast and maneuverable for such a small vehicle," he remarked. "Travis would love to have a hand at the controls."
Zerina glanced over and gave him a strained smile. It was her first attempt at a smile since the confrontation with her mother, so it gave Malcolm some hope that the day would get better.
"I'm sure he's managed to convince his liaison to let him get his hands on one. Of course Ulric will have bargained for some flight time on one of your shuttles in return."
"I'm glad everyone seems to be getting along so well," Malcolm said looking over at her. "We all appreciate the opportunity to have a little shore leave. As interesting as our mission is, there are times when we're stuck on the ship for long periods and I start to get a little stir crazy."
"Stir crazy? I'm not familiar with that expression. What does it mean?"
"Sorry. 'Stir' is a colloquialism for a prison or jail cell. The expression in general means being restless or tired of being stuck in one place."
"I can understand that feeling," she said wistfully. "We'll be coming up on the coast in another minute or so. The house is right on the beach."
"Sounds wonderful," Malcolm said with enthusiasm. "I haven't seen a real beach in a very long time. It'll be a nice treat."
"This time of year the water will be too cold for swimming," she said, "but I find it to be a very soothing place, even if I just walk on the beach. I try to come here every few months to get away from it all and recharge my batteries."
"It's good that you have such a place to go to."
"Another of the perks of my family's status and position," she shrugged.
"You won't hear me complain," Malcolm said, earning a more genuine smile from her in return.
A few minutes later Zerina set the air car down beside a modest beach house. Malcolm had seen some other houses far in the distance as they set down, but there was nothing close by. "My parents chose this house because it's so secluded," Zerina explained. "It was their sanctuary from all the curiosity seekers and gossips."
"It's lovely," Malcolm responded. "I can see why you like to come here. Just standing here listening to the waves is soothing."
"Let's drop the supplies in the house and go for a walk on the beach then," she suggested.
As they walked companionably on the beach, Malcolm asked, "You've mentioned your father several times. Will I have a chance to meet him?"
Zerina's smile faded and she turned her face toward the waves gently pounding the shore line. "Unfortunately, no. He died last year. He was an engineer like your Commander Tucker. They were testing a new design for a suborbital shuttle. One that could make the trip around the planet in half the time. Something went wrong and it crashed."
"I'm so sorry. I didn't realize," Malcolm said with regret.
"I miss him very much," she admitted, wiping a tear from her cheek. "He was my champion, always coming to my defense when others tried to keep me down or push me around because of my condition. It never mattered to him. He always said that my differences made me special and that some of the rarest and most beautiful things were treasured because they were different. He always said I was his most precious treasure."
"He sounds like a very special person."
"He was. After the incident with Janik, I came here to hide. I didn't want to have to face anyone or listen to the gossip. I thought I could just stay here forever and no one would miss me. Father wouldn't let me hide. He wouldn't let me be ashamed of who and what I am. I can't help wondering what he'd think of this situation, what he'd want me to do."
"What situation."
"I got some news last night. It's actually very good news . . . I think. I'm not sure."
"What is it?" Malcolm asked, feeling a knot of concern constricting his stomach.
"Your doctor has come up with a diagnosis for my condition . . . and a cure. My mother is beside herself she's so delighted. She can't wait for me to be 'normal.'"
"And how do you feel about it?"
Her eyes filled with tears and she looked away from him. "I don't know how to feel. The idea of being 'normal' is so compelling. To finally be just like everyone else and not be the brunt of all the pity or all the gossip. But then I think about all the things I'd be giving up. Do you remember that first day you were on Daronia -- my training room? I wouldn't be able to move like that anymore. I'd have the same limitations as everyone else. Then I think about my father. Will I still be his special treasure, if I'm just like everyone else?"
Tears were slipping down her cheeks in a steady stream now and Malcolm stopped and pulled her into his arms, letting her cry against his chest.
"I miss him so much," she sobbed. "He always knew the right thing to say, the right thing to do. I feel so lost without him."
"It's alright," Malcolm said soothingly. "Everything's going to be just fine."
She looked up at him, tears still glistening at the corners of her eyes. "And what about you? Did you mean what you said that first night, about me being beautiful, I mean."
"Of course I did."
He could feel her trembling in his arms from the depth of emotion she was trying to contain and another tear slipped down her cheek. "Sometimes I wish my mother, and the others, could just accept me the way I am. That I didn't have to be different for them to be able to love me."
"You are beautiful just the way you are, Zerina," Malcolm said forcefully. "You don't have to be any different for me to love you, and you shouldn't have to be different for anyone else to love you either." Finally giving in to what he'd been feeling since he'd first seen her on the terrace, he took her face gently in his hands and kissed her deeply.
Malcolm's emotions were swirling as he entered the mess hall that night. He'd been thinking all day about that kiss and the look of surprise in Zerina's eyes when it had ended, as if she had never considered the thought that he would want to kiss her. He'd briefly wondered if it was really possible that the men on her planet were so stupid and shortsighted that they could ignore all her other wonderful qualities simply because of her weight. And then the second kiss and all that followed it had driven such thoughts and questions from his mind.
Coming back here without her had been the most difficult thing he'd ever done. She obviously wasn't happy or appreciated among her own people, and he couldn't help thinking she would fit in better and be much happier here among Enterprise's crew -- with him. If he could get Captain Archer to agree to let her come with them, it would solve the problem for everyone. His thoughts were interrupted by the sight of a glum looking Trip Tucker seated at a table with a large platter of food in front of him.
"That's an awful lot of food, Commander. You expecting not to be able to eat for awhile?"
"Do I look 'substantial' to you Malcolm.
"Excuse me?"
"She said I'm not 'substantial' enough. What's that supposed to mean?"
"You've lost me, Commander."
"Remember that woman from the party, Laril, the engineer?"
"The one who made a pass at you and you thought was . . . not your type?"
"Yeah. Well, the more time I spent with her, the more I liked her and realized how much we have in common, and how stupid it was that I was uncomfortable with her just because of her weight. So today I asked her to have dinner with me. And do you know what she said? She said she was flattered that I was interested in spending time with her, but she prefers her men to be a little more 'substantial.' What the hell does that mean?!"
Malcolm suppressed a grin at Tucker's obvious distress and the pile of food on his plate. The grin disappeared as he thought about Zerina and realized how much it must hurt her to face that kind of rejection every day.
"You're fine just the way you are, Commander. You shouldn't have to change who you are to make other people happy. And some day you'll find a woman who will appreciate you just the way you are."
Tucker looked up, surprised at the conviction and the touch of anger in his friend's voice. "Um. Thanks, Malcolm. I guess I really don't need all this food after all. Want some?"
"Not right now," Malcolm replied. "I need to talk to Captain Archer about something very important."
Malcolm had left the mess hall and was headed for the bridge when the intraship comm announced he was wanted in Sickbay immediately. Irritated at being diverted from his mission but concerned that the doctor's call might have something to do with Zerina, he turned on his heel and headed toward the doctor's office.
He reached the doors and thumbed the door control with annoyance. When they swished opened, he strode in quickly, already saying, "What can I do for you, Doctor? I was on my way to see the Captain about something very important. Can this wait?"
Doctor Phlox looked up from the screen he was reading, concern emanating from his eyes. "I'm afraid not, Lieutenant. It seems that we have a very awkward diplomatic situation on our hands and you are right in the middle of it."
"I beg your pardon."
"I believe you're acquainted with Councilor Xaron's daughter, Zerina."
"Yes," he said, surprised. "That's what I was going to see the Captain about."
"Then you're aware of her condition?"
"She told me it's some kind of metabolic problem that keeps her from gaining weight. She has to eat and drink constantly throughout the day because of it or she becomes ill. She mentioned today that you've found a cure, but she wasn't sure what she wanted to do about it."
"And that's all you know?"
Malcolm shrugged uncomfortably at the tone of the doctor's voice. "I know Zerina is unhappy here. Her people can't accept her the way she is, and she doesn't want to have to change who she is just to make them happy. I was going to ask the captain if he'd let her come with us. It seems like that would solve the problem for everyone."
The Doctor sighed heavily, "Have you spoken to Zerina about this yet?"
"Not yet," Malcolm admitted. "I wanted to make sure the Captain would approve it before I brought it up with her."
"I see. Lieutenant, what does it mean to you, as a human, to be healthy?"
"I'm not sure what you mean, doctor."
"For example, what criteria does Starfleet use to determine if someone is healthy enough to serve on a starship."
"You would know that better than I would."
"Just humor me."
"Absence of specific types of diseases, ability to fulfill the demands of the job . . . look, I don't know what you want me to say."
"Are there weight requirements?"
Malcolm squirmed uncomfortably. "Of course, but it doesn't really matter nowadays because medical science has progressed to the point that most people aren't overweight any more."
"And what's wrong with being overweight that your medical science felt the need to eliminate it."
"Doctor!"
"I'm making a point, Mr. Reed and it's one you need to understand. Now answer my question."
"It wasn't being overweight itself, it was the medical problems associated with being overweight. The strain on the heart that could cause heart attacks -- that kind of thing."
"So it wasn't simply about looking more appealing."
"Of course not."
"So overweight people can still be appealing, they just need to be concerned about being healthy."
"I guess so. Look Doctor I don't have time for these games. What is it you want?"
"I want to know why you are encouraging Zerina not to undergo a medical treatment that is necessary for her continued good health simply because it will change her appearance to one that is less appealing to you."
Malcolm gaped in shock. "I don't understand what you're talking about. I don't care what Zerina looks like. It's those people on her planet who don't realize how beautiful she is just because they think she's too thin."
"Lieutenant, Zerina is not simply 'too thin'. She has a disorder that causes her metabolic system to work almost three times as fast as the normal Daronian. In humans, many overweight people had the opposite problem, having a metabolic system that went too slowly. Because the gravity of Daronia is lighter than Earth's and its atmosphere is denser, the Daronians evolved needing to carry more weight to sustain their systems. The average "healthy" Daronian is between 350 and 450 pounds. Zerina is not simply "too thin", she is thin to the point of being extremely unhealthy. The disorder Zerina has requires her to eat constantly to maintain her current weight and if it is left unchecked, her metabolic system will eventually overload and burn out causing premature death."
"I . . . I didn't realize that."
"Of course you didn't. But you should have made some effort to find it out before giving this young woman medical advice that is likely to kill her."
"I wasn't giving her medical advice, doctor. She said she wished people could love her the way she is. I just told her that I do."
The Doctor's face softened. "Well, Lieutenant, your intentions may have been good, but it won't change the outcome. I think you need to have another talk with Zerina. She's refusing the medical treatments and her mother is beside herself with worry."
They had made plans to meet at the shuttle dock to go to the Daronian security training center the next morning, but when Malcolm saw Zerina waiting for him at the gate, he was struck by the sadness in her eyes.
"What's wrong," he asked softly, his hands instinctively moving to caress her forearms, the difficult issues he needed to discuss with her pushed to the background.
"I need to talk to you about something, and I'm not sure how you're going to take it."
"Go ahead."
"No, not here. There are too many eyes watching. I'd prefer to do this someplace more private. We were going to go to the training center anyway. We can talk in my training room."
"If you think that's best, then let's go." He resisted the urge to lean over and kiss the sadness away and instead followed her to the waiting aircar.
As soon as they were safely behind the locked door of the training room, Malcolm pulled Zerina into his arms and kissed her. At first she tensed, but then she melted into the kiss, returning it with such passion and longing that he didn't want to let her go. Slipping her down onto the padded floor and continuing what they had started the day before seemed like a much better idea. But as he started to pull her down, she broke the kiss and turned away from him.
Her abrupt departure from his arms left him breathless, his body throbbing. "What is it, what's wrong?" he asked.
"I'm not sorry about what happened yesterday. I want you to know that. It means more to me than you can ever know. And I know you really believe I'm beautiful the way I am. I love the way your eyes light up when you look at me, when you touch me. Nobody's looked at me that way since Janik, and I'm so grateful for it."
"I'm glad, because I do love you, Zerina."
Tears sprung up in her eyes. "Just the way I am."
"Of course."
"And what if I were different? What if I were 200 or 300 pounds heavier? Would you still love me then?" She looked up at him shyly, noting the concerned look on his face. "I told you yesterday that your doctor has a treatment for my illness and my mother wants me to undergo the treatment. And I told you how difficult a decision it was for me to make."
"I'm sorry if I made it more difficult for you," Malcolm interrupted. "I didn't understand all the implications of your condition until Dr. Phlox talked to me about it last night."
She sighed unhappily. "I'm sorry about that. My mother had a fit when I told her I was thinking about not undergoing the procedure. I still can't believe she went your doctor about it. You didn't make it more difficult, Malcolm. In fact, you made it a lot easier. It meant a lot to me to have you there yesterday. To let me talk things through. To let me feel things again that I've kept bottled up inside for too long. To let me know I'm capable of feeling those things. I was beginning to wonder if that part of me had died with my love for Janik, or with my father.
"I had a long talk with my mother last night about a lot of things. I wish we'd had that talk a long time ago. So many things might have been different between us. I might not have wasted so much time being angry and resentful of her. It was hard enough growing up with my condition without having to be constantly compared to her -- and to always see myself as inferior and imperfect in contrast to her beauty and perfection.
"She told me last night that she has always loved me just the way I was, and she was so surprised that I didn't know that. She told me she always pushed so hard to find a cure not because she cares what I look like or that it embarrasses her, but because she's terrified that I might die. Most of our people who suffer from this condition don't live to see 40."
"I don't want you to die either," Malcolm said gently, looking intently into her eyes as he brushed his fingers lightly along her cheek.
She swallowed back the tears that were threatening. "When we were together yesterday, I actually thought about not having the procedure because I was afraid that if I got big like everyone else, you wouldn't think I was beautiful anymore, that you wouldn't want to be with me like that again. But I'm tired of having to force food down my throat every hour even if I'm not hungry because I can't afford to lose any more weight. I don't want to be sick any more."
Malcolm took her face in both his hands and made sure she sure she was looking into his eyes. "Zerina, I will think you are beautiful whether you are 200 pounds or 2000. You have the most beautiful eyes and the most beautiful smile and the most beautiful soul I have ever seen. And I want you to be healthy, whatever that means for your appearance or your weight. I want you to be able to be and to do anything you want, and I want you to live a long and happy life. If this treatment can help you fulfill your dreams, then you should do it."
He could feel her shaking with relief as he hugged her close to him and leaned in to kiss away the last of her tears.
The week that followed sped by too quickly for Malcolm. He was there with Zerina when she went for her treatments and spent part of every day with her. He'd tentatively suggested to her that she come with them when Enterprise left, but she had declined, saying she needed to figure out how her new "healthy" self fit in among her own people before she would be ready to head out to the stars. And despite how strong his feelings for her were, Malcolm wasn't prepared to leave the ship and remain there with her. Daronia was too alien to ever be 'home' for him, even with the comfort of her love to sustain him. And he couldn't help wondering when he was alone in the dark of the night whether one of the things she needed to figure out was whether her love for him would still be as strong once the Daronian men started paying attention to her and she had other options. It would be almost two years before Enterprise made it back this way again, and he'd decided that if their love was strong enough, it would survive that separation, and if it wasn't, it was better for both of them to have had that time apart.
Now, finally, the day had come when Enterprise was to leave Daronia. Malcolm walked through the city with Zerina one more time, feeling the weight of the knowledge that this would be the last time he'd see her for a very long time. The doctor's metabolic treatments were already working and she'd put on 30 pounds in that week. He stole a glance at her, noticing where the extra weight had subtly altered the shape of her body, and tried to imagine her as big as some of the other Daronians he'd met; but as she glanced back at him, all he could see was her sparkling eyes and her beautiful smile. He remembered his own words to her, that it wouldn't matter if she was 200 pounds or 2000, and fully understood for the first time that they were true.
She stopped suddenly and turned toward him, her expression intent. "Thank you," she said taking his hands and holding them in hers.
"For what?" he asked.
"For being able to love me the way I am. And for reminding me what love can be."
He smiled gently at her and leaned over to kiss her. As their lips parted, his conversation with Trip Tucker the week before came back to him. "Thank you," he said softly.
"For what?" she asked, a soft smile playing across her lips.
"For being able to love me the way I am, 'insubstantial' as that may be," he responded with a smile, glancing down at his fit but very lean body.
She returned the smile as he took her hand and they turned to head back toward the shuttle that would carry him back to Enterprise and out of her life. 'But never out of my heart,' she thought as she gave him one last lingering kiss goodbye.
THE END