Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ. Insert the standard disclaimer here.

Author's notes: Can you believe it, 30,000 words and I'm still going! Thank you to every one who has reviewed. Any way on to the story.

"Double quotations indicate conversations."

'Single quotations in italics indicate thoughts.'

Glossary :

Ohayo: Good morning

Baka: Idiot

Kuso: (Generally) damn or shit.

Hai: Yes

Otousan: Father

Katana: literally a Japanese sword, generally refers to the typical samurai sword.

Smoke plumed into the sky, black and foul. It's stench only just failed to cover the smell of burnt flesh and melted plastic. People panicked, they ran in every direction. Shattered glass crushed underfoot along with bright metal signs. The cloud burning smoke expanded. The stressed twinkle of broken glass drove the frightened people to greater effort. Gradually the individuals disappeared into the seething mass of frantic humanity. That surged along the road and footpath a like, there was no distinction. On the pavement alone and stunned she stood and watched as the crowd bore relentlessly on. Towards her. She was shocked to find herself shaking, as she stared at the smoke that had appeared in his place.

There was no decision to be made, there was no where to go. Caught up in the rush, the crush and panic. She pushed through the crowd, her eyes slid across the many fearful faces. She searched for someone familiar. Confused and frightened people ran into her, nearly knocked her down in their haste to escape. She was going against the tide, fighting a sea of humanity. He was there some where she was sure of it. He had been there before, before the noise, before the explosion. She wasn't sure what had happened, she had only had an impression of it. A sound like a truck ploughing through the glass shop fronts but worse, much worse. Heat intense and sudden and then above everything an unknown sound, like gun going off. It was confusing, frighten and yet she felt some how removed from all the panic and noise. She kept going. 'What if he's hurt?' A man grabbed at her tried to drag her away. Maya struggled frantic to escape. Except she wasn't Maya, not then. It seemed that she had been some one else entirely.

The man only succeeded in pulling her hair out of its plait. She began to feel afraid as the frantic mass of humanity slowly forced her back. For an eternity or so, it seemed she fought against the crush. Her mind was full of him, her husband Kioshi. His friends never having spoken any thing but English called him Kim. They found his name the one his parents had given him near impossible to pronounce. That, she had never understood. He'd been waiting, waiting for her. In the second before all hell broke lose, she had seen him, just standing watching the world go by. His hands in his pockets, looking completely causal. 'And now he might be hurt or dead.' Her eyes stung but her stubborn pride would not allow a single tear past her lashes. She blinked pushed them back. Then suddenly the crowd dissipated, it had only been a matter of minutes, and now the place was deserted. Then she saw him. lying in the road. There was a moment when she froze, horrified.

Before something galvanised her into action. Crouched down on the dirty oil stained bitumen she put a hand out to touch his face. Kioshi's pain filled eyes watched her fearful and concerned. There was none of his usual good humour. The air was thick it was hard to breath. The bitumen around him was damp and sticky Maya could not work it out until she looked. It was his blood. The colour left her face her trembling increased. Her hands shook as she searched Kioshi's body for the source of the bleeding.

A deep laceration caused by airborne debris. Kioshi's face was pale his eyes glassy, he breathed in half suffocated gasps. Maya feared for his life, the bright crimson patch grew ever larger as leaked into the gutter. She had a vague idea of stopping the blood. Anxious beyond belief she pressed her shaking hand against the wound. Her husband gazed at her, he knew. He knew he would die.

Her hand was no impediment to the rapid flow of blood. It spilled relentlessly through her fingers and on to the ground. She was kneeling in the gutter, helpless, despairing and frightened. Every heart beat bought him closer to death. His skin began to take on a bluish caste his hands grew cold. There was nothing left in the end, nothing anyone could do. She hand held onto his lifeless hand for along time. They were all alone, several hours passed before anyone came. Hours passed in a gutter that ran with blood, then rain that gathered like tears in his dark, dark eyes.

Maya shook her head and the sea came back in to view. She sighed, a little she needed some time, some peace nether of which she was likely to get. The deep rumble of the waves as they flung themselves against the cliffs of the promontory, helped drive away the last of her memories. Three years, a life time or nothing at all depending on how you looked at it. It hadn't been enough. They'd only been married for three years, 'but it's better than nothing at all.' She regretted haven't mentioned Kioshi at all,' now I can't stop thinking about him.' Maya sighed, she took one hand off the reins and smoothed Kamikazes dishevelled mane.

Kamikaze reefed at the bit, his nostrils flared. After a moment, his tossed his head and skittered sideways pretending to be terrified of the incoming tide. Maya squeezed her fingers in response to his restless movement, but other wise remained still. Her mind was far away. Far from the smooth crescent of pale sand, and surging green waves. The battle with Nappa and Vegeta had occurred only four days ago, but already it was beginning to recede. It had been horrifying but years of watching people being torn apart had largely desensitised her. Not that she could or would forget entirely. If it was possible to bring Gokou back from the dead, then there had to be away to bring Tien, Yamcha and Chaozu back too. Piccolo was a different problem all together ' well someone's bound to come up with something.'

Beneath her, the big horse struck out at a shallow wave. He investigated it with a tentative hoof, his ears strained forward from the tangle of his unruly forelock. Maya let the reins out. Her body was still sore; her ribs had only just begun to knit. Riding was painful at best, but the stallion was too fit to leave in the paddock unexercised for any length of time. His vigorous cavorting was just too nerve racking to take. 'He'd probably have strained a tendon or something if I'd left him much longer.' Maya turned the stallion parallels to the surf and let him drop his head. The black horse walked quietly, almost lazily through the soft sand. Maya watched the water surge quietly onto the coast. She'd been very cranky since the fight with the Saiya-jin. She controlled her temper with difficulty, and since she'd spoken to Chichi she'd been very quiet and distant as well. 'The senshi would have to be both blind and stupid not to have noticed that something was up. Well with a bit of luck, they won't say anything. I hope not anyway. '

Maya gathered the reins back up sliding them through her fingers. She was very stiff and sore, in deference to this she bridged the reins and rode with one hand. The stallion surged forward. The sand forced him to lift his feet up, encouraged engagement, and cadence. It also jolted Maya unpleasantly irritated she drove him into a canter. The canter was only slightly less jolting. The stallion tucked his head in and pricked his ears. Kamikaze gained speed at every stride, Maya found that she had to hold him under quite strong, mental restraint. Maya pulled him back to a walk once they reached the tree line. She was still tense, still tired, she felt as if some inexplicable force was dragging her down. The trees trembled in the wind, the light had begun to fade. The black horse started to disappear in the gloom, dusk drew in. Time had held no meaning since the battle with the Saiya-jin she was drifting waiting for something. What she was waiting for exactly she wasn't sure. Though, the feeling wasn't new.

Kamikaze stopped suddenly, his head held high eyes and ears straining. A tremor ran through him quick and sure. Maya peered through the trees she could just make out the house, through the black swaying branches. There was nothing, nothing her human eyes could see, but she stroked his neck reassuringly anyway. Whom she was trying to reassure was open to debate. He moved nervously, tense. Each hoof seemed to hang in the air for an inordinately long time, they barley touched the earth before recoiling. He was super charged ready to flee. It was not until the rich valley rolled up to the lawn that she understood his nervousness. For there on the steps sat Kuririn, Buruma and Gohan.

Gohan sprang up at her approach. Kamikaze his nervous tension boiling over spun round, his eyes bulged from beneath his tangled forelock. Gohan froze his eyes wide as Maya sought to control the powerful animal. The stallion' haunches strained, his nostrils flared. He shook his small fine boned, head repeatedly and tore up great clots of turf with his frantic hooves. Maya sat very quietly no actively arguing. She let him wear himself out as twirled about, mane and tail flying. Maya won in the end, she waited until the big horse was too tired to do anything more than stand still. The stallion's fear abruptly evaporated when he saw Gohan. Kamikaze stood his head down and his nostrils distended. Maya's breath came in agonised sobs pain flared up along her rib cage. She resisted the urge to curse. Gohan stared up at her, his eyes wide with astonishment.

"I don't know why you bother with that animal he's crazy."

"We all have our off days Buruma." Maya scowled. Peeved she turned Kamikaze towards the stables and rode off.

Outside the gate, she dismounted. The two yearling colts a grey and a bay, both Kamikazes' sons whickered. Their small heads supported by fine slender necks reached over their loose box doors as they peered at Kamikaze. They were pretty, little things, with their wide interested eyes. Maya rubbed their foreheads as she passed by. Gohan rushed to catch up with Maya. Kuririn and Buruma followed a little way behind. By the time, they caught up to her, Maya had Kamikaze untacked and tied up in his box. Kuririn leaned on the door and watched her dry Kamikaze's fine black coat. She rubbed the horse a lot less vigorously than usual. Buruma stood a little way off her lips pulled into a sour line.

"We're going to Namek, Maya-san." Gohan sounded excited at the prospect.

"Hmmm, I know." She flicked the towel across Kamikaze's black shoulder, refusing to be surprised. She didn't quite know how she knew she just did.

"How could you know? We only just decided ourselves." Buruma snapped she was feeling rather left out with all the attention Chichi was getting. 'How would she know! She's so inconsiderate, look what she did to Chichi. After all Gokou's only hurt, I'm sure he'll be fine but Yamcha died! People should really be more understanding. '

"Well it's just commonsense I knew you'd want to try something, going to Namek is the most logical thing." Maya kept up a conversational tone, ducked under the stallion's neck and proceeded to rub down the other side of his body.

"What did you say to Chichi anyway Maya?" Caution was evident in Kuririn's voice.

"I know what she said!" Maya sighed, 'so much for anonymity. I wonder who told her?' Buruma smirked. Maya continued to rub Kamikaze's all ready dry girth.

"You told her that you were a widow and that you'd had a baby that died. Didn't you." The blue haired woman sounded painfully smug. Kuririn winced 'real smart Buruma! Can't you keep quiet.'

"I don't think that's any of your business." The disembodied voice was calm, but the rubbing creased for a split second before continuing. Maya was half angry half distressed. She didn't really know what to think.

"Of course it's my business, you upset Chichi on purpose." 'Oh for the love of Kami-sama shut up!' Kuririn grimaced.

"Buruma," he hissed "stop it!" Gohan just stared.

"You're not scared of her are you Kuririn?" Buruma taunted hands on her hips.

"No. Of course not." He growled at Buruma. Kuririn was embarrassed, his cheeks burned.

"Well then stay out of this!" Buruma snapped.

"I think you should take your own advice." Maya said as she backed out of the box with one hand on Kamikaze's headcollar. She removed the headcollar and turned around to face the younger woman.

"I would never deliberately hurt anyone's feelings least off all Chichi's. More to the point what ever I said or did not say to her is none of your concern." Maya's voice was totally calm but firm. Buruma's jaw hung open for a moment by which time Maya had disappeared into the tack room. 'How dare she!' Buruma stormed after her.

"You're a fine one to say a thing like that of course it's my business Chichi's my friend!" Buruma yelled in Maya's face. The older woman frowned. 'What a spoiled little brat, I thought I was past dealing with temper tantrums.'

"Well then I suggest you start acting like one!"

"Like what?" Buruma squawked her voice had the quality of nails on a chalk board it made Maya's skin crawl.

"Like a friend." Maya stayed calm but she found herself wanting to start an argument with this arrogant blue haired woman.

"You're a bitch." Buruma scowled. 'Oh well that was original wasn't it.'

"Touche" Maya suppressed a snort. Buruma screwed up her face, she didn't really like Maya. The younger woman glared at Maya and tried to think of a suitably crushing retort. Maya glanced at her amused. She looked back at the rows of neatly folded rugs. There were multiple stacks of different sized rugs, all neatly folded on brass wire racks. Her hand hovered over the two shelves of yearling cut rugs, 'hmm the grey really needs a bigger rug . . .'

"Hurry up would you! I'm freezing out here." Maya smiled faintly. She took hold of two rugs from the stack and added them to Kamikaze's rug, which hung over her left arm.

"Go in side if you're cold. I won't be finished here for a while." Buruma huffed in indignation and left. Maya restrained her mirth, 'silly girl.'

"Maya-san can I help?" Maya's heart rate leapt forward before she realised who had spoken. She glanced down at Gohan. 'I nearly forgot he was here. I guess I got to caught up with Buruma.'

"You can fill up the hay nets if you like, just take it easy alright?"

"Alright." Gohan grinned at her. Maya smiled faintly. 'I wonder what goes on in that little brain of his. Most people would be devastated after being in that fight but not Gohan. Maybe it the Son genes.' She watched the small boy hurry off and shook her head. 'There's something not quite right about all this.'

"Err maybe I can help too?"

"It's all right why don't you just go and keep Buruma company." 'Stop her poking around where she isn't welcome.' Kuririn grimaced Buruma had been touchy all day, he was sick of her constant complaints.

"Maya, how did you know we were going to Namek?" Maya smiled, a faint gleam started in her eyes.

"I all ready told you." Maya pushed her way in to the bay colt's box. She ran her hand down his neck crouched down beside him and checked his legs.

"Well I guess . . ." He murmured as maya flicked the woollen rug on to the yearling's back. Kuririn fidgeted. He really didn't want to go up to the house just yet and anyway there was something he wanted to ask. 'I guess I should just get it over with.'

"Err Maya about before . ." Uncertain, nervous he trailed off.

"What about it?" She sighed.

"Is, is what Buruma said, you know about . . . About your . . .err family, is that true?" Kuririn's face coloured up progressively he was hatefully embarrassed. Maya sighed again she stopped and looked at Kuririn. 'Why on earth must they ask such things?'

"Yes, it's true." She sounded exhausted Kuririn looked up at her half frightened of what he might see. Maya's eyes held a quiet hopelessness, which he could hardly stand it only lasted for a second. Abruptly she turned around and straightened the colt's rug. By the time, Gohan's hand appeared almost completely obscured by the large hay net, she had her composure back.

It took somewhere in the region of an hour to rug and feed Kamikaze and the two colts, and to feed the mares and young stock. Buruma spent the entire time in the house. Gohan kept up a fairly animated chatter as the three walked up to the house. The dogs surged to their feet, they circled the trio whining and with their tails waving. They bounded into the kitchen their claws clicking on the timber floors Socrates mewed a hoarse greeting. Buruma scowled at all the noise. The young woman held a mug of coffee in one hand and a small note book in the other. Maya frowned. She could read her own copperplate hand on the yellowing cover. Socrates' persistent cries drove all her other thoughts were away. As she moved around the counter Maya noted the small elderly dictionary sitting on the counter. Her eyes narrowed, she scooped portions of liver and chicken and kibble on to the animal's dishes. A pack of swaying sterns escorted out on to the back veranda.

"What are you reading?" Maya asked as she shut the door behind her.

"Just something I found upstairs in that room with all the books." Buruma barely raised her head.

"May I see?" She held one small hand out for the book which Buruma reluctantly handed over. It was old, all the pages had begun to yellow at the edges, and the cover never very strong was warped and swollen with age and water damage. Maya did not need to open it to know its contents. Letters dozens of them all carefully bound between two card covers. She felt rather that her privacy had been intruded upon, but there was really very little point in getting worked up about it. 'She wouldn't understand anyway their just interesting artefacts to her.'

"Please ask, next time." Buruma looked rather surprised. 'What is she getting all worked up about it's just a lot of old letters?' She put her hand out expecting Maya to give her the note book back, it took a second, or two for her to realise that Maya had no intention of giving the book back. Maya stuffed the note book under her arm as she boiled the kettle. I never ceased to amaze her how thoughtless Buruma could be with out actually realising it. They didn't get along very well, particularly of late. Maya had found that her patience was nearly nonexistent. That and the fact that Buruma just rubbed her up the wrong way really made things hairy.

"Whose Cass? Is she your mother or something?" The muscles under Maya's jaw twitched a faint flicker of ironic humour flared within her.

"No, not my mother. That would be me."

(2002)