Wandering down into the dank part of his crypt, he finally found the vampire he was looking for.
"Spike? What are you doing?" This was one of the more stranger moments Xander had caught himself in on all the years on the Hellmouth. Spike was lying in bed, face down and obviously naked with only a white sheet covering his back. He was doing some sort of movement in the air with his body, and he was breathing heavily. He stayed in that position and only turned his head when Xander spoke.
"What am I. . . what does it look like I'm doin' you nit, I'm exercising aren't I?" Spike said defensivly. He did a couple of more pushups and Xander could have swore he heard a yelp or moan.
"Exercising. In bed. Naked."
Spike finally stopped what he was doing and came over to sit at the edge of his bed, the bedsheet wrapped around his waist.
"A man shouldn't use immortality as an excuse to let go. Gotta keep fit for the killing."
"Ya-huh. I'm looking for Buf-" Xander started.
"Haven't seen her." Spike stated quickly, almost too quick.
"Well uh, fact is you wouldn't. She's come down with a slight case of invisibility," he chuckled thinking of how ironic this case was but quickly sobered up when he remembered what his mission was.
"Yeah, how did, uh?"
"We don't know yet." Xander could have swore he heard the sound of. . . kissing noises? And Spike's ear was twitch slightly. . .
"Oh my God!"
Xander's cry of realization surprised Anya and made her jump. He struggled to reel in his thoughts of the past couple months. Buffy. . . a-and Spike? Together?
"No, no way" said Xander as he stood up and started talking to himself.
"Xander? What's wrong?" inquired Anya. He was pacing around in a circle, his fingers resting on his temples. He was muttering something about 'buts' and 'hows' and 'whys'.
Xander couldn't believe it. It was just speculation, but it made perfect sense. All this time that rotten bastard. . . right under his nose! And all the time he'd told Spike he'd have no chance in hell. . .they were just standing there giggiling at him! How could Buffy fall for his act? At least Angel had a soul! Xander hated Angel but he rather have his best friend sleeping with a vampire with a soul that a vampire with a chip...
"Wait a minute, what am I thinking!? She shouldn't be sleeping with any vampires!" he yelled outloud as he continued to pace.
"Who?" Anya asked clearly confused. "Xander, hunny, what's going on?."
Just then a thought hit him. Buffy would never let him stake Spike. No. . .there would have to be another way to get rid of him and this madness. To fix Buffy for once and for all. 'A spell! That's it! I'll cast a spell on Buffy so that she'll forget Spike even existed. Or, or I cast a spell on her to show her what Spike is really like. Yeah, like show her the monster he's been hiding from her.' He chuckled at his genius plan. But who would do the spell? He certainly couldn't and Willow was off the market. . .
"Xander, answer me!"
He looked over to his wonderful bride-to-be. An ex-vengence demon who owns a magic store. Perfect! Xander walked over to Anya and layed his hands on her shoulders.
"Anya hunny, have I told you lately how much I love you?" She smiled at his comment and he smiled back.
A/N: Thanks for the reviews but I just have to warn you, Xander is not shown in a positive light in this fic. I have nothing against the character or Nicky Brendon, it's just that "evil" Xander works for this fic.