Chapter 5

Disclaimer: shut up

A/N: holy shit I haven't updated in like a month. Eek...sorry. I feel bad. Haha. Well I'm sitting here trying to think up what this chapter is about. I don't think anything toooooo bad is gonna happen. Probably mostly talking and stuff. Alrighty then. Let's get onnn with the story, eh? Hhaha I love Canada...I wish I lived there....i'm listening to death cab...getting in an emo mood to write an emo story. Oh man...haha cries acts emo whatever...

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Hermione woke up. It was pretty early. About 8:30. She woke up and looked around. Same walls. Same windows. Same view. Same horrible emotions. Same...everything. Oh, how she wanted life to change for her. It wasn't fair. What did she do to deserve a life like this? She sighed and got out of bed. She headed to her bathroom after grabbing a towel and a change of clothes. She went in the bathroom and stripped her clothes off. She got in the shower and adjusted the temperature of the water. She loved the shower. Just for those few precious moments, you forgot about all that shit in your life. All you felt was the water hitting you. No pain... She knew that feeling wouldn't last. In some sick way, she wanted pain. A lot. She couldn't hurt herself though. No, she couldn't. Every time she tried, she thought of Harry. She couldn't do what he did. No way. She hated him, but she still loved him. She hated him so much for killing his best friend. She loved him though, they were best friends. She was so damn confused.

She sighed as the bliss of the shower ended. She stepped out of the shower and put on her clothes and got ready. Today they were going to Diagon Alley to get school supplies. Hurray. It wasn't all that bad, at least there would be a different view, right?

She walked downstairs. There was Ron...and Lavender? What the hell was she doing here?

"Hermione! You'll never guess! I talked to Lavender at Harry's funeral and we're going out!! Isn't that great?!" Ron yelled the second Hermione was downstairs.

'How the hell could he have possibly picked up a girlfriend at a funeral? "Oh yes Ron, wonderful" Hermione said sarcastically, though neither of them noticed the sarcasm.

"Great!! She's coming shopping with us today!! Isn't that great!!??" Ron said excitedly.

Hermione had never really liked Lavender, she was too...happy and bouncy and girly.

"Yes Ron, wonderful", Hermione told him with a fake smile plastered on her face. They were so unaware of everything.

Hermione ate her breakfast and then they were going to leave. In about 45minutes they were in Diagon Alley. Hermione had snapped at Lavender in the car so Lavender was scared to talk to Hermione, therefore gripping to Ron's arm for moral support.

Hermione walked silently with the family. She felt unbelievably left out. Ron had his girlfriend, Ginny obviously wasn't with them, Harry wasn't, and what sort of conversation would she have with Mr. and Mrs. Weasley? She wanted to leave. She had to get away from them.

"Uh...you guys, I'm gonna go...look at...some books...or something...yeah..,", Hermione said uncertainly.

"Okay Hermione!"

No time to be back, nothing. Whatever, might as well just stay here. Then I can be alone...

"Actually, you guys, I think I'm going to stay here the remainder of the summer...I need to be alone...sorry"

"Oh, Hermione dear...if that's what you really want...I guess I can't say no..." Mrs. Weasley said with a look of worry on her face.

"Thanks, I appreciate that."

She quickly walked to the Three Broomsticks and went to the shopkeeper and got a room.

She sat down and none other than Draco Malfoy walked in.

Draco was just about to leave when she saw Hermione leave the group of people. When she left, the group just went on about their business, not really looking like they cared...maybe a little, Mrs. Weasley...other than that...nope. He silently followed her to the Three Broomsticks. He waited outside a couple of minutes and walked in. He spotted her, and it appeared as she had spotted him, from the look of horror on her face. He had to change that. When he saw it, it made him feel worse... if that was possible...

Draco took a deep breath and gathered as much courage that there was left in him and walked over to her. A look of shock crossed her face. He arrived at her table and looked at her.

"Uh...Malfoy...what are you doing...?"

"I need to talk to you abo-"

"About what Malfoy? About how I'm a dirty mudblood? I'm NOT in the mood right now, okay?"

"NO! No I swear..."

She looked skeptical. Veryyy skeptical. "Uh...okay...I think..."

A smile spread on his face. A real smile. He sat down. "Okay...you're probably not going to want to hear this...but you have to let me say it. None of what I'm saying is a lie."

Right then Draco told Hermione his story. His father, beatings, Death Eaters, mother, how sorry he was, how unfair it is, how everything is, how it was his fault that her parents died because he wasn't good enough, how he was so sorry about Ginny and Harry...everything.

He had been wringing his hands and staring at them the entire time. He glanced up at Hermione. She was a little more pale than usual...and...are those tears? Holy shit, I made her cry...

"Oh God Hermione, I didn't mean to make you cry..."

"You actually CARE about me?"

" I sort of always did...I hate my father...he fucked up my entire life...its not fair...to anyone...I ruined so many god damned lives..."

By that time, Draco was also silently crying. Long kept in emotions came pouring out with the silent tears.

"Hermione...tell me what happened to you. I know most of it. Tell me..."

She didn't hesitate. She felt like she trusted him. Why? God only knows. She told him how she wanted pain, but couldn't have it, she told him how she missed Ginny so much she wanted to die just to be with her, she told him how infantile Ron is, how much she missed her parents and their stupid ranting about teeth, she told him how lonely she was now, how God damned lonely she was.

"I don't know Draco, that's it. Your story...was so much...worse."

" How can you say that? You lost everyone in your life. What the hell...how can we even compare them. They were both horrible"

"Hey Draco...?"

"hmm?"

"Thanks for talking to me. I haven't told anyone how I feel. No one but you. I feel a little better. I guess I haven't told anyone because I have no one to tell...I don't know..." She took a deep breath and reached over the table and hugged him. He was bewildered.

The only thing going through Hermione's mind then was 'Why the hell do you trust him?

'Because he's gone through the same shit you have...he trusts me.'

"Uh...I gotta go Hermione. My mom is waiting for me. I'll talk to you on the train, okay?"

"Okay...thanks for telling me all that. It was nice talking to you" Hermione gave him a smile. A real smile, something she hasn't done for quit a long time.

When Hermione smiled at him, he felt happy. He had made her smile.

"See you on the train"

A/n: for God's sake...I haven't updated in like 90454305 years and then the end of this one sucked. DAMN IT. I'm sorry. Don't hate me...alrighty everyone review cuz that would be totally punk rock man...haha...whatever...just review...its not that hard...thanks! 867-5309...867-5309 I got it I got it...I got your number on the wallll...sorry...just slipped into a song. Oh well...

Love,

Alyssa