Almost
The band started up and Daniel sank into his chair, clutching the beer he hoped would dull the constant ache in his chest.
'Almost got what I want,
Almost found what I lost.
Almost saved you and myself.
Almost won but it doesn't count,
And never does.'
The singer in the corner of the bar launched into the song. Her husky voice bringing tears to his eyes as his mind registered the words. So close. He'd been so close to her. Her beautiful face had been right there in front of him. Her expression as she died would haunt him, he knew.
'One more step,
One more second.
And I almost,
Almost.'
It was all so unreal. All this time, wanting to find her, to save her and it ended like this! He choked into his beer as the anger, helplessness and desolation, that had clouded his every moment since returning, threatened to engulf him again. It wasn't fair!
Why him?
Why Sha're?
What was it about him that made Fate want to kick him, over and over?
'One day,
One year,
Five thousand weeks,
A life of good thoughts and good deeds.
Let me be,
Let me be closer.
Let me be.'
What he wouldn't give just to turn time back to those blissful months on Abydos with Sha're and Skaara. If only he'd never re-opened the damn gate! Sha're would still be alive and Goa'uld free. Well 'If Onlys' wouldn't help him now. She was dead. He still had something he had to do though. One last thing for his beautiful Sha're. He had to find the child.
The song had stopped while he was thinking and he noticed dimly that the singer was getting ready to start a new song.
'For you,
It's all in a day.
One day in a life.
It's all in the one word.
The one word is Goodbye.
Goodbye.'
He wondered briefly how it was that the singer had managed to pick songs so tuned to his thoughts tonight. A hand fell on his shoulder and he jumped.
'Danny!'
'Jack?' He asked, shocked to hear his friend's voice.
'Yeah. Been lookin' for ya.'
Daniel sighed, ready for the lecture to start. He was surprised when Jack just sat in the chair opposite and asked......
'You OK?'
A thousand sarcastic responses sprang to mind but in the end he settled for the truth.
'No, but I will be.'
'That's what I wanna hear!' There was a pause. 'You know you're not alone in this don't you?'
Daniel shot a look at Jack's face.
'Yeah. I know.'
'Good'
That one word spoke volumes and both men lapsed into a comfortable silence watching the woman in the corner as she sang. It suddenly struck Daniel how much she looked like Sha're. The same smile as people in the crowd called out to her. The same laughter shone from her eyes as if the whole world was a huge joke that only she was in on.
'I remember when we were drivin',
Drivin' in your car.
Speed so fast, felt like I was drunk.
City lights played out before us an' your arm felt nice wrapped round my shoulders.
An' I had a feeling that I belonged.
I had a feeling that I could be some one,
Be someone,
Be someone.'
Maybe there was some hope after all.
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