It didn't take long to recongnize Revello Drive. When Buffy saw her house she ambled over to the back door figuring if it was easier to get to her room quicker. She tentatively turned the door knob, hearing soft voices inside. It sounded like whoever it was was concerned about something. She thought about climbing through her window to aviod a crowd but then that would lead to too many questions of how and when she got home. As Buffy enterd she saw Willow and Dawn sitting at the kitched counter.
"Buffy! Hey, started to get worried there for a minute," Dawn said as she stood up. "It's almost eight."
"Oh, sorry. Must have lost track of time," she said lifelessly. Buffy gave her sister a little smile even though she felt terrible inside. She never should have fallen alseep in his arms, there was too much of that going around. She was always leaving Dawn alone or for others to care for, just so she could get out and enjoy the feeling of what he did to her.
"Shoudn't you be at school?" Buffy asked.
Dawn hesitated at her answer and Buffy could see at her face that the question asked was a wrong one. "No, today is Saturday," she answered unsurely.
"Are you okay?" inquiered Willow.
Buffy looked up, "Yeah, yeah. I just. . . " she wasn't sure what to say. The truth was deffinatley no possability. This was not the time to dump the 'I've been sleeping with Spike' baggage on her friends. Although since he practically dumped her, it wasn't like it really ever had to come out. "Tired," she finished.
Willow didn't seem to really accept that excuse, like she knew more than she was letting on. But Buffy quickly threw that notion out of her head, she had enough things to worry about today. Buffy nodded to Willow to reinforce that she really was okay, even if it was a lie, and started for her room.
i"So, did you do the Big Bad last night?" /i
Buffy spun around at the sound of Dawn's voice, taken aback by the question. Could her family and friends already know? "What?" she asked.
"I asked did you get the Big Bad last night. You know, should we go research or did you take care of it?"
Relief swept over Buffy, but strangely not as much as she thought. It was like a part of her wanted them to know so that all these secrets and lies would be over. That she wouldn't have to go around pretending everything was okay even though it wasn't.
"Yeah Dawnie," Buffy answered. "It was a long fight . . . but its over now."
Tara hurried to Anya's side, kneeling on the floor. She checked for a pulse and thankfully found a strong one. She tried gently shaking the ex-vengence demon, calling her name out in hopes of waking her. It took a while but Anya finally came out of it, still groggy from the long sleep.
"Nooo," Anya whined. "Five more minutes please, big Daddy. . ."
Big Daddy? Tara wasn't about to reflect on that thought. She didn't need to know what her friends did in their down time. "Anya, h-hey. C'mon wake up, i-its Tara."
"Hmm? Oh Tara, what are you - " Anya stopped short, clearly recongnizing that she wasn't at the apartment with Xander. "Oh no."
Tara turned her head to see what Anya was looking at. The white substance. It was clear to her now that it was a candle, and obviously Anya had been doing a spell. It must have been a pretty powerful one to knock her out like that, most big spells were.
Anya got up, her legs were a littly shaky but she managed to walk alright. She walked around the area where she had performed earlier. She knew there was a reason she didn't want to do that stupid spell. Was she here all night? And Tara had found her, not Xander. Where was he?
"Were you doing a spell last night?" Tara asked, getting ready to deliever the 'magicks are a powerful force' speech.
"Yes. . . oh, and look at this mess. I'm gonna have to clean it up and everything before the store opens! This is all Xander's fault you know, trying to get me to fix Buffy. . ." she huffed out.
"Fix Buffy?"
"Yeah, you know, cause she and Spike are orgasm buddies," she answered matter-of-factly. "Honestly, I don't know why he didn't see it before. It's so obvious."
Tara flinched as the words were swallowed down.
Buffy only half lied to her sister. She idid/i have a fight last night, not that it was long or hard or anything. Unless you count the one vamp who got an upperhand on her, but still, nothing major. And it iwas/i over, between her and Spike anyway. But soon enought he'd just come crawling back to her. . . right?
She was seated cross-legged on her bed, the door locked and the blinds closed to block out everything around her when the nerve finally struck. Why was she sitting here, alone and away from those who loved her? Why was she brooding over Spike? What the hell did he mean to her anyways? She hated him.
Buffy started to regret everything over the past couple months. All the times he touched her and took advantage of her and said he loved her. How she fell for those words that came out of his soft lips. The way Spike would just grab and embrace her and drown her misery away. The way his eyebrow arched when he thought naught thoughts, and the smirk on his face. And she loved the way . . .
A tear fell down her cheek as her emotions caught up with her once again. His words were echoing in her head. It was like he just woke up from a 2 year nap and all this time inbetween was a nightmare that had accidently come true.
She didn't hate him, at least not all the time. When he was being a smart-ass or just plain annoying then yeah, she hated him but she wasn't consumed by it. Buffy still felt something for him, she just woudn't admit it to herself because she was so confused trying to figure out everything else. She coudn't love him was what she always said. . . not that she didn't. He didn't have a soul, but he did have a chip.
During Buffy's inner-depth discussion with herself, there was a knock at the door. She didn't say anything, just waited.
"Buffy?" Willow called softly. She tried the doorknob and found it locked. "Sweetie, do you want to talk?"
Willow. Her best friend. They had grown so far away from each other, ever since. . . Buffy couldn't put her finger on it. She coudn't tell when her life had fallen apart. Could it have been before she died? Is that why she was so happy up there?
"I just really want to be along right now, Will," Buffy told her softly through the door.
"Okay, but j-just know that I'm here for you if you need me."
Buffy laid back down on her bed, tiny drops of tears spilling hesitantly from her eyes.