He slowly stood and gazed at her from across the bed. To say he was relieved would be a massive understatement. It was as if Spike were the Titan Atlas and he had just recieved the immense gift of the heavens being lifted from his shoulders.
A quirky smile played at his lips and he had all he could do to hold back. Buffy, ihis/i Buffy had felt it; she felt the spark entangled in thier grasp. It was always there for him, that being one of the things he could never tear himself from even when she begged him to leave her alone. Spike realized he should say something, but what? There were no words he could use to describe the pleasure of knowing that Buffy recognized it was him.
For Buffy, looking at Xander and knowing it wasn't quite him, was not as complex as it seemed. In every aspect of him, the clothes he wore, his messy hair, his posture and voice, it all screamed out Spike. And the kiss, that was the most distinct part about him. He held nothing back, all the fear and joy, the pain and hurt, it was all there.
It took a few moments for Buffy to find her voice again, she was so intrigued with the man in front of her.
"How . . . how did this happen?"
"I don't know," he replied honestly. Spike ment for it to come out seriously, but it inevitably came out as a half giggle.
Buffy couldn't help but to smile back at him. The situation he found himself in was most ironic, but he seemed like he was taking it well. Spike walked over to her and grabbed her hands in his. The look on his face, on Xanders face was of pure little boy charm.
"Here, feel this," he said excitedly as he positioned her hand over his chest. "Its my heartbeat."
Buffy could feel it, she could hear it the deafness in the air was so high. Spike's smile beamed on his new face. He was so earnest and . . . vulnerable. The vampire whose heart had been decaying since the late 1800's had suddenly been restored. He was human, he was . . .
"I'm ialive/i, Buffy. I'm really alive."
She didn't want to tear this moment from him. He was so happy, all the darkness just wiped away. But every time she looked back in his eyes, they weren't his. This wasn't him. She said it as softly as she could, "Yeah, but in Xander's body."
"Okay, not the best thing to happen since me an' the whelp don't get along but . . . "
"Xander . . ." Buffy whispered. If Spike was in Xander's body, then that would mean Xander is in Spike's body! She gasped as the knowledge hit her with a destructive force. "Oh my God, Spike when did this happen to you?"
"Uh, this mornin' I guess. I woke up this way."
Spike watched Buffy stare into nothingness. She did that alot lately, it was her way of trying to figure things out. That or she used him as a punching bag while she shouted out all her mixed up feelings to him. It was okay though, everything she did to him, because he knew her better than anyone. He could crumble her inner barriers in an instant.
Buffy was barely aware of herself, let alone Spike she was so deep in thought. All the things he said to her this morning? They weren't his, and that hurt Buffy more than if they were Spike's words. It was all making sense to her now, and she was beating herself up for not noticing it before. She sat down on the bed and ran her fingers through her hair, trying to relax as much as possible. Buffy looked at Spike and it was like he had a question mark etched across Xanders face, trying to read her mind.
"Xander is in your body," she stated bluntly.
"Oh. . . oh! This is . . great! I wonder if he's gotten peckish for some blood yet," Spike chuckled. Buffy looked at him like he had lost his wit. "What?" he asked defensively.
"You haven't thought about this before now?"
"Well no. Look, Angelus was the big thinker, okay? I was always. . ."
Buffy cut him off, "You don't get it do you? I woke up to ihim/i, " she stated slowly. Her voice was calm but her eyes told another story. They looked at him as if to say, 'you really don't want me to continue.'
Spike's face looked grim as he sobered up. "What happened?"
"Look, we have to get over there okay? He's got to be freaking out and --"
"What happened? He wasn't freakin' out before?" He looked at her with squinted eyes, those eyes of his that could make her melt.
"Of course not!" she scoffed. "I mean, why would he? He only woke up in a vampire's body to his best friend giving him a blow job and then pretended to be you and told me how--" But Buffy ran out of breath. She tried to collect herself for the sake of Spike who now looked like he was about to ram his fist through a wall. "I didn't know it was him, and he didn't let anything on."
Spike actually was thinking about ramming his fist through a wall, many many walls. He balled his fists as he tensed up thinking about what Buffy just said. Xander pretended to be him? And she bought it?! As soon as he was back in his body, the whelp was gonna get a brutal beating, whether he personally gave it out or just watched. Spike wasn't completly powerless with the chip, he still could get minions to do his biding.
"You --" he began.
"I didn't know, I swear. I thought it was you," she persisted.
Spike knew her words held the truth. Her eyes could never lie. "Lets go."