Lumose the Lab Rat.
"You create so much destruction; you are capable of so much more, why does your heart make you want to deal out nothing but pain?"
"I'm tired of my lessons… I just want to play"
"Shadow. You can't play all the time!"
"I know. Maria doesn't want to play with me anymore… She has no time for me" The flames around him turned dark purple. "There's no-one like me here"
"Heal the lab rat and you can have him for a pet"
"I don't want a pet… I want a friend"
"Please heal the poor creature anyway Shadow, it is in great pain"
Shadow walked forward towards it. Then suddenly stopped and stared up at Gerald with narrowed eyes. He was about to speak when the rat squeaked. Shadow turned back to it and reached out his fingers to touch it. In doing so he muttered something that sounded like "hush". Shadow's eyes rolled back into his head and closed. Slowly a silvery glow ignited around him, but soft, not like the fire. The rat was still for a long time. Then as the silvery light went out it began to move, it got to its feet. Shadow took his hand from it. His eyes drifted open. For a moment Gerald thought he was going to collapse and moved forward to help. The rat ran up his arm. Shadow shook his head and seemed to return to himself. The rat ran up to his shoulder and licked his face. Shadow giggled. He tried to turn his face to look at it without dislodging it from his narrow shoulders.
"May I see it Shadow?" Gerald asked
Shadow nodded and Gerald took the rat form him. Carefully he examined the scalpel wound. It was gone without even a scar, and the rat seemed happy.
"Well done Shadow. You've healed him!"
Shadow smiled happily. Gerald began to walk away with the rat.
"F-Father… you said I could keep the rat if I made him better"
Gerald paused and turned round.
"I wasn't aware you wanted it… but ok Shadow." He handed the rat back to him "You'll have to promise to take good care of him"
"I will" Shadow said as he watched the rat run along his arms
"We'll have to find you a nice cage to keep him in-"
"Why's he have to go in a cage, why can't he be free?"
"Because if he was you'd loose him, and we wouldn't want him to get hurt, you can't explain to him what's dangerous."
"I suppose…"
"You'll have to think of a good name for him"
Shadow paused, holding the squirming animal in his hands "He's white… and I'm black and you call me Shadow, so I'll call him Lumose…"
"You gave him a lab rat?"
"Yes, I couldn't see it would do any harm"
"You checked we hadn't tested any infectious diseases on it first didn't you?"
"Yes, what do you think I am, incompetent? Other than the wound we gave it to test Shadow's healing powers it was perfect. I thought it might help foster some of the more positive emotions."
"Those are no good for making fire"
"But they're good for him. All that hate and anger will eat him away. He needs to be balanced or no-one will be able to control him. He'll destroy everything, friend or enemy. He has to love something."
"That thing doesn't know what love is"
"He does as much as you can! I believe he loves my daughter, even if he does not love me"
"Hmm… What's he calling it…? Lumose?"
"Yes… That was his idea. I don't know whether to worry about that, he said they were opposites, the shadow and the light, I hope he doesn't see himself as a creature of the darkness in the evil sense…"
"I'm more worried about who decided to fill his brain with ancient Latin; he's got better things to learn"
"Like how to make him a more efficient killer you mean?"
"Yes. If I had children I would not allow them to play with the military's secret weapon"
"But you don't. So you can't see him as being little more than a child himself"
"I would certainly not allow it to call me father"
"But I am effectively, I helped create the poor wretch… and I'm beginning to wish I hadn't."
"Father, father! I burnt Lumose by accident. I tried to heal him but I can't…"
Gerald came up to Shadow and looked at Lumose where he clutched him in his trembling hands.
"You won't be able to heal him Shadow. He's dead"
"Why can't I fix him?"
"You can't bring back the dead"
"Why not?"
"The spark of life has gone out of him, once its gone it's final, no-one can bring it back"
"It's not fair… I didn't mean to…"
"It ok…" Gerald crouched in front of him "That spark goes out of all of us, it'll go out in you one day too."
"What happens then?"
"No-one knows for sure-
Shadow woke late the next morning. The group had been sympathetic to his needs, he was clearly too weak to move on. Also this way they could give Knuckles time to rest without damaging his pride. It was Vector, Eggman and Sonic's complete intention to make the telling of Shadow's story and his injuries last them the whole day. Knuckles' injury was more severe than anyone was willing to admit, Eggman was secretly fearful that he might lose the leg, if not his life. A one legged Guardian was no good to anyone. He'd been slipping in and out of consciousness since sometime during the night.
Noon had passed before Shadow could be coaxed into telling his story. He'd spent the hours since he's woken curled up tightly in a ball, trying not to let the others see him crying. With Knuckles completely out of it, the others were at a loss as for what to do, they wanted to help, but were uncertain of the right thing to say. Shadow always reacted badly to anyone who approached, when he'd seen the state Knuckles was in his despair had only increased. It was only Amy and Tails' gentle persistence that finally enticed him to the fireside. He seemed to react more gently to the younger ones at least. Once there it was another hour before he spoke a word, when hunger became too much for him. It was Rouge who finally made him begin as she simply asked him:
"Where'd they take you love?"
"The… Airbase" Shadow said weakly "I met the Thousand… Metal Sonic is using them to build a machine…
With that Shadow told the group what had happened, brought himself to talk about Apolloi, and his death, and come to terms with the cost of his own freedom. The sun was setting again by the time he finished.
She'd never seen anyone look quite so pitiful. Once Shadow had finished telling his tale he simply sat with his knees hugged up to his chest, periodically switching his gaze between the fire and the fragmented moon, casing fleeting glances at Knuckles who'd been asleep almost all day as his gaze moved between the two. Most of the group had tried to engage him in conversation but he had simply ignored them. When eventually even Sonic had tried there had been the threat of a barbeque, since then no-one else had attempted. Now Shadow and Rouge were the only two still awake.
"Shadow maybe you should try and get some sleep huh?"
Shadow sent her a weak smile before turning back to the flames. Sighing Rouge lay down herself.
"Sweet dreams Rouge" he said softly, not looking away from the fire.
"You too love"
He stared into the flames and for what felt like the thousandth time that day pushed at his body. He could still make no flames; his body was concentrating on healing the wound to his shoulder. Until the flames came back he wouldn't be able to heal Knuckles… the one time when his ability to heal had really mattered to him he was unable to use it. He hugged his knees closer and shivered slightly in the dark night. He looked back up at the sky. The heavens were going to haunt him for the rest of his life. For a moment he smiled, the fragmented moon was a fragmented as his mind, it was ironic in some ways… He closed his eyes for a moment then opened them to look back at the fire…
He was standing on the edge of a tall red cliff. Humans and Shremu stood in front of him, glaring at him, he was frightened of them. The fragmented moon hung pale and almost transparent in the cloudless blue sky. The group took a step closer, Shadow stepped back. Beneath his foot the edge of the cliff crumbled and fell away. He looked back over his shoulder… It was a long way down. The group jumped forwards, Shadow staggered back, and fell…
He snapped awake. Dawn was breaking. In a tree above a particularly annoying bird with a sharp shrill call was greeting the sun. Shadow seized the nearest available rock and hurled it in the general direction with his good arm. With an indignant squawk the bird flew away. Shadow's muscles complained about having been in the same position all night. When he'd snapped back into wakefulness his knees had still been hugged tightly to his chest. He forced himself to stand and stretch. His injured shoulder was almost ceased completely. The wound was still clearly in evidence. It must have been bad for it to take this long to heal, however it was an incident Shadow preferred not to think about. He walked up and down for a while, easing the cramps from his limbs and warming his cold muscles. After about twenty minutes he was comfortably warm and had regained some use of his right arm. He was just thinking about what he could find in the forest as breakfast when Tails sat up, rubbed his eyes and looked in his direction.
"Morning Shadow!" Tails said cheerfully, coming to his side "Sleep well?"
"Not particularly"
"Not a morning person huh?"
"He's not an evening person either!" Rouge said sitting up and stretching her wings "You're pretty much not an anytime person are ya love?"
Shadow snorted and looked away.
"Come on! Don't you ever smile?"
Shadow looked at the floor "You asked me that before"
"Yeah, and you never answered"
Shadow turned to her; he smiled "What would you like me to say?"
Rouge rolled her eyes and shook her head, Shadow wandered over and sat by her side.
"I dreamed I got pushed over a cliff, what about you?"
"I dreamt I built a robot to make hotdogs, but once it started I couldn't get it to stop! I was swimming around in hotdogs and onions. It was so cool!"
Shadow laughed despite himself "Are you hungry little foxy?"
Tails nodded "So what did you dream Rouge"
Rouge went a little pink "Wouldn't you like to know"
"Did you dream about jewels?"
"No… something better"
"What?"
Rouge started to go red. "Errr…"
Beside her Espio was struggling not to laugh, he was sniggering to himself whilst pretending to sleep. Rouge reached across and slapped him.
"Shut up Changeling!"
"Ow!" Espio cried and sat up "What was that for?"
Rouge scowled darkly "You know why"
Espio's yell had woken most of the group, and the resulting confusion saved Rouge from having to expand on her dream.
Breakfast in the form of the increasingly unpleasant stag Espio had caught was eaten in subdued silence. Shadow's return was not seen as something particularly worth celebrating; it added a new dimension to their problems. If some of the Thousand were able to go against Metal, how could they go about indiscriminately killing them? Though after a time most supposed that those clever enough to rebel like Apolloi would not be released and so they would not come up against them. Also, what were the Thousand building? What threat did it pose? Worryingly Knuckles condition seemed to be getting worse…
He pushed at his body again, hoping the flames would appear. They did not. The only thing he felt was a kind of draining sensation, like air escaping from a balloon. Shadow sighed and looked down on Knuckles again, his face was pale and contorted with pain and all Shadow knew was that there was nothing he could do to help him. He couldn't make the drugs that would push the infection out of his body… and he couldn't make his own injury heal any quicker. Shadow's hatred turned towards Metal Sonic… if Knuckles died he would make him pay… this time he really would seek out revenge… The Guardian's life was too precious to be wasted-
"Smile Shadow… If the wind changes direction your face might stick like that…"
Shadow jumped and looked down on Knuckles, his eyes were open, looking up at him. Shadow narrowly resisted the urge to throw himself on him.
"That's better…" Knuckles chuckled wearily. He reached weakly up to him, Shadow took his hand as he could barely lift it. "You are real aren't you?... I thought the Thousand took you away from me… I'm not dreaming am I?"
Shadow full of fear squeezed his hand "No"
"Then are we dead?"
"No…" Shadow whimpered
Knuckles' eyes closed for a moment then opened again.
"I guess my leg's worse than I thought…"
"Knuckles you just have to hold on a little longer! As soon as my shoulder is fixed I'll heal your leg… you just have to keep fighting a little longer!"
"I've spent my life fighting…" he said dreamily "I don't like fighting"
Shadow fought with tears. "Knuckles please…."
Knuckles smiled wistfully "Be good Shadow…" his eyes closed and didn't open again.
"No, Knuckles come on!"
Sonic and Tails looked up.
"Knuckles please!!" Shadow shook him, the Echidna didn't respond. Shadow ripped at his body, demanded strength, demanded his healing powers to return, and dragged them away from his own injury. In his desperation his body responded, from somewhere in his deepest reserves it drew strength. The white fire glowed around him as Shadow plunged his life-force into Knuckles, grabbing his fading spirit and pulling it back before it could slip beyond his reach. Shadow chased the infection and knitted fragmented bone. As he did so the wound on this shoulder tore open again. Finally the fire paled and began to go out. Shadow could only curl up at Knuckles' side, before consciousness left him.
"What the hell just happened?!" Sonic screamed, hauling Shadow away from Knuckles "What'd he do?... Knuckles?"
"Sonic!" Tails shouted angrily as he knelt by Shadow where he'd been tossed aside.
"Screw him what about Knux?"
Sonic had taken hold of Knuckles shoulders and was desperately shaking them, all the while calling his name. Only when Knuckles responded with a soft groan did Sonic pause to look down at his leg. The skin had begun to heal, though it was still bloody, but more importantly the heat of the infection was gone, Knuckles' entire body was beginning to slowly fall to a temperature more like normal. Sonic breathed a quiet sigh of relief. Shadow on the other hand looked dead. Tails was bent over him, his hand pressed over the wound on his shoulder. Vector and Eggman were quickly coming to his side.
"Is he ok…" Sonic asked cautiously
"He's breathing"
"Humph" Sonic walked off.
Tails and Eggman treated Shadow's shoulder as best they could. Once they were finished Vector and Tails could do no more than return Shadow to where he had fallen, at Knuckles' side.
It was dark. Somewhere a nightingale or other nocturnal bird was singing its sweet song. The orange flames of the fire danced and crackled in front of him, its brightness stinging against his eyes. The air was filled with the scent of wood smoke. But more than the heat of the fire he was aware of a different kind of heat, a friendlier, almost animalistic heat. It was coming from behind him. Slowly, cautiously Shadow asked his limbs to respond. The angry aching pain in his shoulder was back as he tried to move. Eventually he managed to turn his head. Knuckles seemed startled by his movement. Shadow was just as startled to find him laid so close. Then Knuckles smiled and raised his gloved hand to his lips. His amethyst eyes glinted almost red in the orange firelight as Shadow looked up at him.
"Why aren't you sleeping?" Shadow asked quietly after a moment.
Knuckles shrugged "I'm not tired… so I figured I'd watch over you guys while you slept… Shadow… Thank you… for what you did, I owe you my life… I am grateful."
Shadow curled against him as much as he dared "I wasn't going to let you go"
"You hurt your shoulder didn't you?"
"It was worth it"
"Thanks… I don't know how to repay you…"
"You don't have to… I like helping people…"
With that Shadow slipped back into sleep.
Knuckles gazed back into the flames; they danced softly to some unheard song. He smiled slightly to himself, so many nights he'd spent at the foot of the Master Emerald, wishing, wishing he'd been wiser, and not as strong, so he would have won a life though of less honour that would be more worth living…
"But you don't have to be alone any more" The other said softly.
High above them the Master Emerald glistened in the soft moonlight.
"But you don't understand…" Knuckles sighed softly
"I do… I of all people appreciate the burden you carry, because I share it…" The shape reached out to touch his face. Knuckles violently beat the hand away.
"This is my fate… I earned it, for my sins, I deserve it"
"Your sins can be forgiven… if they cannot; there is no hope for those like me"
Behind the other's head a shooting star blazed to earth.
"My hands are stained with blood, they cannot be cleansed. Only in the servitude of others can I hope to regain my place in the sky… I fear the fate that awaits me in the Black Pit…"
A cool wind brushed his fur. The creature tilled its head to one side slightly.
"If your duty is to serve… your fate is the same as mine… Why can't we serve each other?"
"My duty is here!" Knuckles cried angrily, desperately.
"Please… don't reject me… I need you…"
The eyes glistened in the darkness, for a moment he saw his stony reflection in them. Knuckles turned his back and started to walk away. He felt a desperate hand on his shoulder.
"Please Guardian!" The voice begged.
Knuckles swung his strong fist into its abdomen. The creature was thrown back with a despairing scream. It landed with a dull thud. But for a moment Knuckles had felt the warmth of a body, with it the misery of a fellow spirit. He folded his strong arms across his chest. Behind him he could hear a soft, almost childlike cry as the other was consumed with the wretched grief he knew only too well, but he couldn't bring himself to turn around. Above them the Master Emerald glinted green in the light of the fragmented moon.
He woke filled profound despair and a sense of his own foolishness. The sky was faintly grey with cloud, damp and chilly. Shadow had rolled over and was now facing him, curled close in his sleep. In the past Knuckles' macho mask might have led him to be disgusted with himself, it wasn't the done thing. Now he was willing to draw comfort and friendship from anyone willing to look past his many faults. Maybe he'd finally found someone almost as flawed as himself. Knuckles sighed; maybe his mask was finally coming off, maybe when it did he would become a person that was a little easier to live with. Master Ribern had said that to him:
"We all wear masks Knuckles… someday we have to take them off"
Master Ribern had talked to him a lot about ignoring what his heart telling him….
By the time Rouge stirred from sleep Knuckles had come to a decision. He allowed her a few moments to come to her senses before he approached her. There were some things he needed to know, he hopped there might be something that would be able to put his fears aside, but somehow he thought they would only make them worse.
"Rouge?"
She smiled warmly at him, the kind of smile that made Knuckles feel a little dizzy "Hey love… what's troubling your lovely face"
Knuckles felt himself blush… how could he ask this of her, he wondered if she, as he suspected of Sonic, would get the wrong impression. Nevertheless he felt it was his duty to find out everything he could.
"You were a government spy… do you still have your contacts?"
"Yes…"
"Please, I have to know the truth; I want all the information available on Project Shadow, Gerald Robotnic and his daughter Maria"
Rouge looked at him for a long moment, seeming to be thinking.
"Are you sure?" She asked softly "If you hear the truth you can never go back on it, if Shadow asks you something, will you be able to lie to him? You can't just drip feed him the truth, that wouldn't be fair on either of you. It's all or nothing Echidna"
"Just do your research. I'll deal with the fallout"
"I'm not sure Knuckles, some of it might not be things either of you want or need to hear. I know for a fact some of it isn't that pleasant…"
"Just do your research… do it for me?"
"For you Knuckles… anything" She smiled
"Thanks Rouge"
She nodded "I'll do my best… but there's a limit to what I'll be able to dig up without anyone getting suspicious, and believe me, that isn't something any of us want. The government all think Shadow is dead… lost in space, or broken beyond recognition. We do not want them to think otherwise."
Knuckles nodded "I'll leave it in your capable and far more experienced hands"
Rouge laughed, and Knuckles again found himself blushing. He escaped as quickly as he could.
He was relieved when Shadow woke later in the morning. Aside from pain in his shoulder he seemed happy. Shadow's most apparent emotion it seemed was relief in seeing that he was safe and healthy. Shadow's first action upon waking had been to look for Knuckles, and check he was walking. Knuckles was more than aware that Shadow had saved his life. Sonic knew too, but couldn't be persuaded to admit it.
The day was spent moving forward slowly, at a pace that stretched neither Shadow nor Knuckles, as the weakest members of the group. They walked together, flanked by the protective force of the other eight, with Sonic at the lead. Twice during the day Rouge was accused of talking to herself. They had only been walking a few hours when they again by popular decision decided to stop for the night.
"Do you know what despair feels like Blue Hedgehog?" Shadow asked him in his soft rumbling voice.
"Yes, and my name is Sonic"
"Real despair Sonic? Knowing that everyone you ever loved is gone… That man… I heard what he said… he was once my father… I heard what he said about me. I was made after the Biolizard, I knew her when she was young. My Maria is gone… the only way I can be with her again is to die… even then I may not reach her… Why would I deserve a place in Heaven when I have done so much ill?… "
"Shadow what are you saying?"
He shook himself "The Echidna is nearly finished; the path ahead is mine alone to walk"
"Shadow answer my question!"
"The Echidna makes me itch, he is more vulnerable and needs you more than you realise, please, take care of him"
"Err ok Shadow… I promise…"
"I will hold you to that promise Sonic the Hedgehog, if they mean as much to you as they do to me you will keep it. Now I must go and fulfil my promise." Shadow sighed looking across at him "This is my home, and my mess. I will fulfil my promise."
"But Shadow…"
"We don't have time for this Sonic. We have to go… The Biolizard was never very patient… We mustn't keep her waiting… The FinalHazard awaits us…"
The FinalHazard was defeated; all that remained for Sonic and Shadow to do was return the ARK to a stable orbit. Side by side they ploughed towards it.
"I must destroy all the evil the Professor created" Shadow said softly almost to himself "Keep your promise to me Sonic"
"Are you ready Shadow?" The black hedgehog had looked away; his eyes were focused on something else. "Ready? Now!"
"Chaos Control!" They both called in unison.
There was a bright flash.
Sonic was back on the ARK.
"Shadow we did it!" He cried delighted. Sonic looked around "Shadow?... Where are you?" Sonic looked around again, but he knew he was alone. "Oh no…"
Sonic sat up coughing and breathing fast. Knuckles beside him groaned
"You ok Sonicu?"
"Uh yeah…"
"You sure?" Knuckles rolled over and looked up at him.
"Yeah…"
Knuckles grinned and closed his eyes "One day I'll get a full night's sleep"
"Sorry"
Knuckles smiled his eyes still closed "Doesn't matter"
"Goodnight Knuckles"
"Night Sonic"
Sonic lay in the darkness, listening to the familiar sounds of his two closest friends' breathing remembering that day. When he'd told them he was gone… with the fall the earth dropped out from below more than just Shadow's feet. He would never forget the look on Knuckles' face, or how ill he'd been just moments after. That day had been a nightmare, for many, many people. Ominously Sonic wondered if the humans would have forgiven Shadow for what he'd almost done, somehow he doubted they would see him as a brave martyr fully expecting to give his life for the cause. Even if they weren't the same one, which he believed was the case Sonic had a sick feeling the human's would demand blood, especially given the apparent extent of his power, he was a dangerous weapon to be left running around the countryside. As nervous sleep took him again he wondered what kind of life lay ahead for Shadow and those few allied to him.
All the time running, always running, never able to stand still, not for a moment. The fragmented moon glared down on them between the dark silhouettes of the trees as they flashed by either side. They weaved through the trees, the undergrowth tangling at their legs, tripping them, one of the frightened pair would stumble, only to be aided and dragged on by the other. Behind humans on swift bikes chased them, their engines roaring in the dark night. From time to time a crack rang out, as the soldiers shot at shadows. Still ahead the two ran on, a small shape pulling a larger heavier one, clinging tightly to each other by the hand. They were gasping for breath, the whites of their frightened eyes flashing in the moonlight and the beams of the humans' headlights. The pair were slowing; the humans were getting closer… Watching them Sonic knew they couldn't run forever.