Chapter 3: Rolling Thunder
A tender sensation washed over her body..she felt so aloof, as if the ceiling were spinning out of control, and her feet had lost contact with the Earth's cruel surface, her body levitating towards space.
~...Can I go play..with the other children...I promise I won't run away..~
Her mouth contorted into a peculiar, unfamiliar smile, one that couldn't be read as either happy or insane..a smile that had no definition. It seemed to appear out of nowhere, as all her other facial features were lost in a sea of blanched, colorless flesh. Her fingers and other appendages were numb and deadened, all to her advantage, for at that very moment when Nel began to regain consciousness, the multitudes of scientists were ripping her body open, poking and prodding her chest cavity.
She was saved from this pain and excruciating torment, feeling only a dull aching in her lungs and heart, the stabs and gashes interpreted by her brain to feel only like small pin pricks. They had probably injected enough pain killers into her blood stream to kill a small animal, with Nel having just enough strength to clutch on to her last shred of life.
And then there was that smile, that quizzical expression that did not exude pain or sadness, just appreciation...a simple gratitude that she was still alive, if only for the next few moments. In this stupor, she had forgotten the events that had transpired earlier, when it was as if her entire heart was being crushed between two hammers; now all that was etched in her anesthetized mind was the question of whether or not she would be returning to skool come next Monday.
Nobody seemed to notice how happy she really was....they were too busy keeping her alive that they failed to see her fluttering eyes and flaring nostrils.
"It's just as we feared..I knew this would be a problem, it was inevitable something like this was going to happen..." a person wrapped in darkness spoke through his sterile mask, eyes tense, beads of sweat dripping down the lines of his face. His face was locked with utter concentration, looking like the storm chaser gazing into the eye of the tornado, prepared to face the challenge, and ready to taste the unpredictable.
At this point, hypotheses were pieces of crap, and assumptions could be given even less respectability. The fact was, time was the opponent, and it wasn't going to allow any margin or error; one miniscule mistake could be substituted for an epic catastrophe; one screw up would ensure the girl's death.
"Lehman, make sure her breathing remains stable, and carefully monitor all brain-wave activity..if it becomes any more unbalanced, call me immediately," the nameless man spoke with an grim tone, "And likewise with her heart's pattern..they should be in sync with one another now, but who knows when that could change.."
They were all exhausted, their stamina having been put to the test. Many of them were collapsing into chairs, forearms wiping the sweat from their creased brows, and no one seemed to care that their once spotless garments were painted crimson red with blood.
Peering around the contours of the clean room -which was inaccurately labeled, since it was anything but clean- Nel struggled to take in a full breath, her lungs throbbing when she sucked air in. Thankfully the restraints encompassing her did not allow her a clear view of her exposed, torn-open body, as one stray glance would throw the breakable girl into traumatic shock.
Abruptly, Nel felt her world plunged into darkness. Her eyes dilated almost immediately, mind clawing for an unobstructed view, and she began to feel her own heart race quickly towards arrest. Gargled pants spilled from her open mouth, Nel's voice disobeying her when she wanted more than anything to scream. There was something covering her face, her entire head even, and as her eyes furiously blinked, she felt her eyelashes touching some cold, metallic surface.
She was frightened, but could say nothing to help herself.
"I told you not to place that over her so quickly! Are you insane?!" a strict tone was heard beyond the shroud of inky blackness, but there was no response to it, just a repulsive silence. The shouted words hung lifelessly like clouds in the sky. "You can't disturb her now...she's just started to recover...she may be nothing to you but to us sh..."
"To you?" a distinctly new tone entered the discussion, and Nel flinched at the sound; it hurt her ears and rendered her paralyzed with fear, as she was reminded almost instantly of the voice within the mirrored vault, "To you she means nothing!"
"How can you say that with such certainty, if you don't mind me asking?" the first voice bit back fiercely, holding its ground against the more aggressive character, "All you do is punish her as if she's a pet, some replaceable plaything that can be tossed and thrown around carelessly!"
"I believe you're forgetting yourself! If I'm not mistaken, you answer to ~me~!!!"
A loud smack reverberated across the room; the harsh sound was muted to Nel's muffled ears. She strained to hear more of the conversation, but it seemed as though the combatants had ceased their heated discussion. All was quiet.
"Now that your fat head has had a chance to clear itself, I suggest you tend to my ~plaything~, as you so incorrectly stated it," the second voice shattering the welcomed silence, and the sound of high heels clacking on marbled ground was heard leaving the room.
Eyes sore from the obscurity about her, Nel suddenly felt a pair of hands touching the sides of her terrified face, pulling a large metal blindfold away from her cold, sweat-drenched skin. Vision still blurry, now bombarded with the garish light emanating from an overhead lamp, the small person fought to make sense of the confusion her eyes could not comprehend. She mewed a little, throat sore and ragged, her fingers now twitching with renewing vivacity.
"Don't worry, I took the visual shield off; your sight won't be hindered for much longer..." emitted from an area somewhere to the left of her bed, Nel tried to turn her head to catch a glimpse of the speaker....he held the same voice as the kind person from before..the only one that seemed to care..she liked the sound of his voice, because it was so unlike all the others, especially the one from the mirrored room..
"Nel, do you feel any pain when I do this?" a finger was felt being placed on her exposed organs, but all her bodily sensations were still to sedated to register any discomfort, "Just nod your head if you do..."
She remained still.
"Good, I'd hate to give you another hit of morphine; not sure if you could take it without slipping into a coma.." the voice reeked with concern, something foreign to Nel, and she struggled to understand this new concept.
Try as she might, the girl couldn't reason the person's actions, this undying care..it made her ill with wary and unease at times...but sometimes it felt nice, like a warm blanket just out of the dryer, calming with a charm that was not so easily dispelled, even by unyielding hate. Being subject to this mysterious emotion brought an unearthly tranquility upon Nel's tortured existence, one that had begun the moment her eyes had opened for the very first time.
How long had it been?
Nel didn't care...she had her ~other~ voice now...she wanted to stay like this forever...
"Will...w-will I go...back to...." pushing the words past barely parted lips, Nel felt her entire head go dizzy with the effort of trying to speak.
"To skool?" the kinder voice said with a tint of disbelief, "I don't think you're up to it...plus, ~she'll~ have my head if you get into any more trouble..."
~Trouble...am I being bad...I didn't mean to do anything wrong...~ Nel thought with fear, worry mixing with an enduring determination to satisfy.
"If your condition starts to better itself..then maybe..." sounding hopeful, Nel flashed a shaky smile up to the speaker, still not able to focus in on the features of his face. Everything was so white and hazy, like being caught in a snow storm. "Right now...you need to rest..we'll be patching you up soon.."
~Patching?...am I broken..will I get better...I still...still need to say I'm sorry to...to...~
Dib awoke to the sound of thunder booming outside his home, a torrent of rain crashing against his window. He was surprised that he had actually fallen back to sleep after his terse chat with the Professor Membrane, but an elongated yawn reminded him of how fatigued he had been earlier. He rolled over on his side from where he was laying to get a better view of the digital clock. The room was completely dark so the red glow of the numbers, two thirty five, lit up his face in a crimson hue. His eyes squinted and he rolled back over onto his back.
~I wonder how long it's been raining..I can't believe it's past midnight..~
Dib laid there, hands at his sides, staring blankly upwards, the ceiling looking so close to his face. His mind was vacant like an empty glass, its insides dry and void of any contents save the stuff it was made of. Giving a shiver of uncertainty, he curled himself tighter into his web of sheets, burrowing his head into the pillows. He could faintly hear Gaz rustling around the refrigerator downstairs..her insomnia was at times was harder to surmount than Dib's own.
BOOM!
Another crackle of lightning shot itself into the darkness, and Dib jumped in spite of himself. What had gotten into him recently..the defender of the planet can't be frightened by a little thunder for Christ's sake! Why was he so uptight all of a sudden? Settling back into his covers, Dib then noticed how he was still wearing the same clothes he had yesterday, but then again, didn't he wear the same things everyday? Shoving this inkling aside, he labored in the shadows to slip out of his trench coat; it was enmeshed with his bed linens like two pieces of rope twisted together.
~It's...so hot in here...~ he thought with flushed cheeks, questioning if recent events were to blame. Discarding his coat onto the floor beneath him, Dib continued to shed his layers of swarthy clothing, until only his black slacks remained. With the blinds drawn and the lightning illuminating the room every few seconds, Dib's pale, frail body seemed to glow eerily as if by some unseen radiance. He glared through the naked window, to the world he had sworn to protect, to the streets and houses that were jeopardized as long as the Invader Zim was allowed to breath.
Dib, the now fourteen-year-old savior of a doomed planet...it hardly sounded heroic now..looking down at his hands, he felt so hopeless to the higher powers. How could he, with these bare hands, even hope to prevail above such evolved creatures...was it all a fruitless undertaking? Zim had been seeking world domination for two years now, and so far, Dib had been successful in thwarting him at every turn, but he was beginning to lose the motivation to persist..to care about his Earth..
Dib, the little geek who was actually going to try and convince an entire planet that there was indeed a power-hungry, ravaging alien amongst them..to him this sounded more reasonable. No one ever believed him, not even his own father and sister...well, at least Gaz listened to him sometimes, but that was only when she was truly bored and didn't feel like beating the snot out of him.
Could he do this alone? Was there anyone that could understand the importance of his mission; a single individual that didn't relate his words and knowledge to the mindless prattling of a raving lunatic? Did anyone really care about Dib at all?
Hunching his shoulders, Dib sat with his back pressed against the wall, sitting on one of his soft, warm pillows, still staring down on himself, the way others looked down on him. He didn't want things to be this way....he didn't like being alone like this, no matter how much the others hated and teased him obstinately.
Slinking back into the comfort of his sheets, the downy fabric caressing exposed flesh, skin tingling a little, Dib closed his eyes, just wishing that the next time they opened, this would all be over, for better or for worse...
"GIR, tell me," a youthful, Irken voice rang through out an underground base, full of craftiness and laced with shrewd intentions, "What do you know about the site the stink-humans call ~Roswell~?"
"Um, lemme see..." the spastic robot tapped its tinny head with a curled fist, an intense ring bouncing around the vast vacancy within, the result of being built with faulty parts. "I..dunno...is it yummy? Can I eat it with ketchup? WOOOOHOOOO! I'm gonna go eat a Roswell BURGER!!!"
"No, you cannot eat it with ketchup, GIR..why do I even try.." Zim rued, shaking his head repentantly, trying with all his tolerance to ignore the dim-witted machine's ridiculous mannerisms. He turned his attention to the monitors in front of his command post, all flashing images of the Earth's exterior. "The humans built Roswell in a vain attempt to expand their galactic knowledge..many believe it to be the housing point of some crashed alien vessel. I cannot even imagine what pathetic inferior alien allowed itself to be taken captive by an even more pathetic species like the worm- babies..probably golems from the planet Phlegm.."
"I like phlegm...it goes soooo well on ice cream!" GIR yelled, flipping around Zim's head, a blood vessel swelling with irritation.
"GIR! Would you for ~once~ stop pretending to be an idiotic robot decoy and act like the advanced piece of Irken technology you're supposed to be?!" Zim slammed his clawed fist onto the computer console, and GIR immediately ceased his babbling, as the color of his eyes morphed to a deep scarlet.
"Yes, Sir!" giving a firm salute, the automaton stood beside his master's chair, seeming to be under control.
"That's much better...now, as I was saying, this piteous facet of mankind's research capabilities could be valuable to us..." pressing a few buttons so that one of the screens was enhanced several times, Zim leaned in closer, neck bending ever so slightly. "If they really have some alien life form held within that base, they might have similar bases like this; it's possible they might have some knowledge that could hinder my plans... If I can find these bases and find out what they know, then I can develop a master scheme that exploits they're ignorance..
"I'll use what they ~don't~ know....they will have nothing to prepare themselves from my evil deeds..this could hold the key to finally disabling this planet for good! Not even the Dib-human can stop me!!!!"
"Isn't that bad?" GIR interjected, having reverted back into his stupefied state-of-mind.
"No, GIR, we want that to happen. Doom equals good....not bad.." Zim sighed, "Do you see?"
"I suuuuure doooo!!" tongue hanging from his mouth, GIR was about to launch into the seemingly endless "Doom Song" when Zim motioned for him to remain silent.
"Prepare a probe to launch as soon as possible, GIR..." lifting himself out of his chair, Zim twitched his antennae eagerly at the anticipation of weakening the Earth's defenses. He had been yearning for this chance ever since he had landed on this despicable, filthy planet. "Set them on "Detect" mode, and have them search for any signs of extraterrestrial matter."
"Okie-dokie!!!" the little robot whooped gleefully, as Zim watched him zoom out of the room.
"Watch as I infiltrate your dookie-doo bases, Earthlings! There shall be no escape from Zim, greatest of all the Irken soldiers!!!!" hollering with a maniacal laugh, Zim's voice was barely contained within the stronghold, as those above him slept silently, unaware of the menace hidden within their beloved planet.
They called it the "Rose Room," but the girl didn't know why...everything was so stark and austere.. nothing struck Nel as being particularly "rosy," but this was what she was told to call it. All she could do was silently ponder the meaning behind the room's title. Any more would invoke castigation..Nel had learned that so long ago, and she rubbed one of her scar-covered arms as to display this knowledge.
The Rose Room was composed of little more then a white, sterile bed and a night stand, with a single, barred skylight, the only source of natural light that was permitted. Sometimes there would be a stuffed toy on the bed for her, or even a box of chocolates, but that had been a rarity, and Nel couldn't recollect the last time this had happened. Now all she had was the stiff, springboard mattress and scratchy sheets. She found it hard to rest when all she saw above her was that cage-like window, the bars blocking her view of the sky above.
Tracing a finger along her chest, Nel felt the taut stitches running along her body, the black threads of nylon barely bending as she touched them carefully. Her breathes were still irregular and a twinge of pain that was rooted within her would continually unearth itself, like a recurring nightmare, whenever she spoke.
~I'm better then I was before....that's what mother told me..~ as optimistic as she tried to be, Nel couldn't reenact that smile from before; her mouth refused to budge even by the littlest margin. She remembered being awake during the entire surgery; they hadn't administered any more morphine for fear of losing her to its effects. They had her affixed to the table again, head clamped to the unyielding, flat surface.
In her mind, she could still see the needles and thread, the tributaries of blood staining the examination table's veneer, and most of all, the faces boring down on her helpless form, their eyes shielded behind plastic goggles. They had haphazardly torn her single piece of clothing during the early stages of her operation, and it lay underneath her, sopping wet with some warm liquid..she hadn't figured then that it was her own bodily fluids....hadn't had the perception to think straight, not when her world was reeling with pain.
Where had the compassionate voice and embodiment been when she needed it most? Why hadn't it been beside her like all the other times, spouting words of confidence, telling her that everything was going to be alright. Nel had always figured it had been this person that had been leaving her presents in the Rose Room. But he had never been there to meet her..never their when she could clearly see his face..
Nel watched as drops of rain collided with and slid off her solitary window; saw the blurred bolts of lightning zigzagging across the sky like the doodles of a ghostly child. Sucking in some air, and suppressing the soreness welling in her lungs, she found herself also smothering the urge to cry, forcing the tears back into her poignant eyes.
She raked a hand through her flaxen bangs, naturally blond amongst a tangled mat of otherwise brown hair, and turned onto her side, finally giving into this unmistakable misery, tiny pools of water seeping into the collar of her threadbare shirt. After her operation, they had given her a new, less ragged garment, but the fabric was still so thin that it barely protected her pallor skin from the elements, and the Rose Room was infrequently heated. But Nel supposed anything was better then sleeping in a piece of clothing that was inundated with your own blood and sweat.
Slight arms wrapped around her likewise supple body, Nel, eyes clenched tightly, bit her lower lip in her moment of pure anxiety, wanting so much to ascend beyond those bars, lacking the reason behind this endless existence of testing and torturing. If she only knew why this was the way she had to live, then Nel might have been peaceful, been able to find solace in the Rose Room.
But there was no answer to her inquiry.
In the darkness, there was no accompanying light to shine down on her. She had no one to turn to..no one to tell her how why she was here..
Squinting her eyes, shedding one last, heavy tear, Nel wished upon the stars she couldn't see for another chance..a chance to do better..to satisfy and gratify..
~I am nothing without you mother..but if you are not here...what can I do to help myself..~
The clouds parted, for just one moment..and a single light shone down..but like so many other things in her life, it was out of Nel's sight..as she lay amid her sea of woe..fast asleep..
A tender sensation washed over her body..she felt so aloof, as if the ceiling were spinning out of control, and her feet had lost contact with the Earth's cruel surface, her body levitating towards space.
~...Can I go play..with the other children...I promise I won't run away..~
Her mouth contorted into a peculiar, unfamiliar smile, one that couldn't be read as either happy or insane..a smile that had no definition. It seemed to appear out of nowhere, as all her other facial features were lost in a sea of blanched, colorless flesh. Her fingers and other appendages were numb and deadened, all to her advantage, for at that very moment when Nel began to regain consciousness, the multitudes of scientists were ripping her body open, poking and prodding her chest cavity.
She was saved from this pain and excruciating torment, feeling only a dull aching in her lungs and heart, the stabs and gashes interpreted by her brain to feel only like small pin pricks. They had probably injected enough pain killers into her blood stream to kill a small animal, with Nel having just enough strength to clutch on to her last shred of life.
And then there was that smile, that quizzical expression that did not exude pain or sadness, just appreciation...a simple gratitude that she was still alive, if only for the next few moments. In this stupor, she had forgotten the events that had transpired earlier, when it was as if her entire heart was being crushed between two hammers; now all that was etched in her anesthetized mind was the question of whether or not she would be returning to skool come next Monday.
Nobody seemed to notice how happy she really was....they were too busy keeping her alive that they failed to see her fluttering eyes and flaring nostrils.
"It's just as we feared..I knew this would be a problem, it was inevitable something like this was going to happen..." a person wrapped in darkness spoke through his sterile mask, eyes tense, beads of sweat dripping down the lines of his face. His face was locked with utter concentration, looking like the storm chaser gazing into the eye of the tornado, prepared to face the challenge, and ready to taste the unpredictable.
At this point, hypotheses were pieces of crap, and assumptions could be given even less respectability. The fact was, time was the opponent, and it wasn't going to allow any margin or error; one miniscule mistake could be substituted for an epic catastrophe; one screw up would ensure the girl's death.
"Lehman, make sure her breathing remains stable, and carefully monitor all brain-wave activity..if it becomes any more unbalanced, call me immediately," the nameless man spoke with an grim tone, "And likewise with her heart's pattern..they should be in sync with one another now, but who knows when that could change.."
They were all exhausted, their stamina having been put to the test. Many of them were collapsing into chairs, forearms wiping the sweat from their creased brows, and no one seemed to care that their once spotless garments were painted crimson red with blood.
Peering around the contours of the clean room -which was inaccurately labeled, since it was anything but clean- Nel struggled to take in a full breath, her lungs throbbing when she sucked air in. Thankfully the restraints encompassing her did not allow her a clear view of her exposed, torn-open body, as one stray glance would throw the breakable girl into traumatic shock.
Abruptly, Nel felt her world plunged into darkness. Her eyes dilated almost immediately, mind clawing for an unobstructed view, and she began to feel her own heart race quickly towards arrest. Gargled pants spilled from her open mouth, Nel's voice disobeying her when she wanted more than anything to scream. There was something covering her face, her entire head even, and as her eyes furiously blinked, she felt her eyelashes touching some cold, metallic surface.
She was frightened, but could say nothing to help herself.
"I told you not to place that over her so quickly! Are you insane?!" a strict tone was heard beyond the shroud of inky blackness, but there was no response to it, just a repulsive silence. The shouted words hung lifelessly like clouds in the sky. "You can't disturb her now...she's just started to recover...she may be nothing to you but to us sh..."
"To you?" a distinctly new tone entered the discussion, and Nel flinched at the sound; it hurt her ears and rendered her paralyzed with fear, as she was reminded almost instantly of the voice within the mirrored vault, "To you she means nothing!"
"How can you say that with such certainty, if you don't mind me asking?" the first voice bit back fiercely, holding its ground against the more aggressive character, "All you do is punish her as if she's a pet, some replaceable plaything that can be tossed and thrown around carelessly!"
"I believe you're forgetting yourself! If I'm not mistaken, you answer to ~me~!!!"
A loud smack reverberated across the room; the harsh sound was muted to Nel's muffled ears. She strained to hear more of the conversation, but it seemed as though the combatants had ceased their heated discussion. All was quiet.
"Now that your fat head has had a chance to clear itself, I suggest you tend to my ~plaything~, as you so incorrectly stated it," the second voice shattering the welcomed silence, and the sound of high heels clacking on marbled ground was heard leaving the room.
Eyes sore from the obscurity about her, Nel suddenly felt a pair of hands touching the sides of her terrified face, pulling a large metal blindfold away from her cold, sweat-drenched skin. Vision still blurry, now bombarded with the garish light emanating from an overhead lamp, the small person fought to make sense of the confusion her eyes could not comprehend. She mewed a little, throat sore and ragged, her fingers now twitching with renewing vivacity.
"Don't worry, I took the visual shield off; your sight won't be hindered for much longer..." emitted from an area somewhere to the left of her bed, Nel tried to turn her head to catch a glimpse of the speaker....he held the same voice as the kind person from before..the only one that seemed to care..she liked the sound of his voice, because it was so unlike all the others, especially the one from the mirrored room..
"Nel, do you feel any pain when I do this?" a finger was felt being placed on her exposed organs, but all her bodily sensations were still to sedated to register any discomfort, "Just nod your head if you do..."
She remained still.
"Good, I'd hate to give you another hit of morphine; not sure if you could take it without slipping into a coma.." the voice reeked with concern, something foreign to Nel, and she struggled to understand this new concept.
Try as she might, the girl couldn't reason the person's actions, this undying care..it made her ill with wary and unease at times...but sometimes it felt nice, like a warm blanket just out of the dryer, calming with a charm that was not so easily dispelled, even by unyielding hate. Being subject to this mysterious emotion brought an unearthly tranquility upon Nel's tortured existence, one that had begun the moment her eyes had opened for the very first time.
How long had it been?
Nel didn't care...she had her ~other~ voice now...she wanted to stay like this forever...
"Will...w-will I go...back to...." pushing the words past barely parted lips, Nel felt her entire head go dizzy with the effort of trying to speak.
"To skool?" the kinder voice said with a tint of disbelief, "I don't think you're up to it...plus, ~she'll~ have my head if you get into any more trouble..."
~Trouble...am I being bad...I didn't mean to do anything wrong...~ Nel thought with fear, worry mixing with an enduring determination to satisfy.
"If your condition starts to better itself..then maybe..." sounding hopeful, Nel flashed a shaky smile up to the speaker, still not able to focus in on the features of his face. Everything was so white and hazy, like being caught in a snow storm. "Right now...you need to rest..we'll be patching you up soon.."
~Patching?...am I broken..will I get better...I still...still need to say I'm sorry to...to...~
Dib awoke to the sound of thunder booming outside his home, a torrent of rain crashing against his window. He was surprised that he had actually fallen back to sleep after his terse chat with the Professor Membrane, but an elongated yawn reminded him of how fatigued he had been earlier. He rolled over on his side from where he was laying to get a better view of the digital clock. The room was completely dark so the red glow of the numbers, two thirty five, lit up his face in a crimson hue. His eyes squinted and he rolled back over onto his back.
~I wonder how long it's been raining..I can't believe it's past midnight..~
Dib laid there, hands at his sides, staring blankly upwards, the ceiling looking so close to his face. His mind was vacant like an empty glass, its insides dry and void of any contents save the stuff it was made of. Giving a shiver of uncertainty, he curled himself tighter into his web of sheets, burrowing his head into the pillows. He could faintly hear Gaz rustling around the refrigerator downstairs..her insomnia was at times was harder to surmount than Dib's own.
BOOM!
Another crackle of lightning shot itself into the darkness, and Dib jumped in spite of himself. What had gotten into him recently..the defender of the planet can't be frightened by a little thunder for Christ's sake! Why was he so uptight all of a sudden? Settling back into his covers, Dib then noticed how he was still wearing the same clothes he had yesterday, but then again, didn't he wear the same things everyday? Shoving this inkling aside, he labored in the shadows to slip out of his trench coat; it was enmeshed with his bed linens like two pieces of rope twisted together.
~It's...so hot in here...~ he thought with flushed cheeks, questioning if recent events were to blame. Discarding his coat onto the floor beneath him, Dib continued to shed his layers of swarthy clothing, until only his black slacks remained. With the blinds drawn and the lightning illuminating the room every few seconds, Dib's pale, frail body seemed to glow eerily as if by some unseen radiance. He glared through the naked window, to the world he had sworn to protect, to the streets and houses that were jeopardized as long as the Invader Zim was allowed to breath.
Dib, the now fourteen-year-old savior of a doomed planet...it hardly sounded heroic now..looking down at his hands, he felt so hopeless to the higher powers. How could he, with these bare hands, even hope to prevail above such evolved creatures...was it all a fruitless undertaking? Zim had been seeking world domination for two years now, and so far, Dib had been successful in thwarting him at every turn, but he was beginning to lose the motivation to persist..to care about his Earth..
Dib, the little geek who was actually going to try and convince an entire planet that there was indeed a power-hungry, ravaging alien amongst them..to him this sounded more reasonable. No one ever believed him, not even his own father and sister...well, at least Gaz listened to him sometimes, but that was only when she was truly bored and didn't feel like beating the snot out of him.
Could he do this alone? Was there anyone that could understand the importance of his mission; a single individual that didn't relate his words and knowledge to the mindless prattling of a raving lunatic? Did anyone really care about Dib at all?
Hunching his shoulders, Dib sat with his back pressed against the wall, sitting on one of his soft, warm pillows, still staring down on himself, the way others looked down on him. He didn't want things to be this way....he didn't like being alone like this, no matter how much the others hated and teased him obstinately.
Slinking back into the comfort of his sheets, the downy fabric caressing exposed flesh, skin tingling a little, Dib closed his eyes, just wishing that the next time they opened, this would all be over, for better or for worse...
"GIR, tell me," a youthful, Irken voice rang through out an underground base, full of craftiness and laced with shrewd intentions, "What do you know about the site the stink-humans call ~Roswell~?"
"Um, lemme see..." the spastic robot tapped its tinny head with a curled fist, an intense ring bouncing around the vast vacancy within, the result of being built with faulty parts. "I..dunno...is it yummy? Can I eat it with ketchup? WOOOOHOOOO! I'm gonna go eat a Roswell BURGER!!!"
"No, you cannot eat it with ketchup, GIR..why do I even try.." Zim rued, shaking his head repentantly, trying with all his tolerance to ignore the dim-witted machine's ridiculous mannerisms. He turned his attention to the monitors in front of his command post, all flashing images of the Earth's exterior. "The humans built Roswell in a vain attempt to expand their galactic knowledge..many believe it to be the housing point of some crashed alien vessel. I cannot even imagine what pathetic inferior alien allowed itself to be taken captive by an even more pathetic species like the worm- babies..probably golems from the planet Phlegm.."
"I like phlegm...it goes soooo well on ice cream!" GIR yelled, flipping around Zim's head, a blood vessel swelling with irritation.
"GIR! Would you for ~once~ stop pretending to be an idiotic robot decoy and act like the advanced piece of Irken technology you're supposed to be?!" Zim slammed his clawed fist onto the computer console, and GIR immediately ceased his babbling, as the color of his eyes morphed to a deep scarlet.
"Yes, Sir!" giving a firm salute, the automaton stood beside his master's chair, seeming to be under control.
"That's much better...now, as I was saying, this piteous facet of mankind's research capabilities could be valuable to us..." pressing a few buttons so that one of the screens was enhanced several times, Zim leaned in closer, neck bending ever so slightly. "If they really have some alien life form held within that base, they might have similar bases like this; it's possible they might have some knowledge that could hinder my plans... If I can find these bases and find out what they know, then I can develop a master scheme that exploits they're ignorance..
"I'll use what they ~don't~ know....they will have nothing to prepare themselves from my evil deeds..this could hold the key to finally disabling this planet for good! Not even the Dib-human can stop me!!!!"
"Isn't that bad?" GIR interjected, having reverted back into his stupefied state-of-mind.
"No, GIR, we want that to happen. Doom equals good....not bad.." Zim sighed, "Do you see?"
"I suuuuure doooo!!" tongue hanging from his mouth, GIR was about to launch into the seemingly endless "Doom Song" when Zim motioned for him to remain silent.
"Prepare a probe to launch as soon as possible, GIR..." lifting himself out of his chair, Zim twitched his antennae eagerly at the anticipation of weakening the Earth's defenses. He had been yearning for this chance ever since he had landed on this despicable, filthy planet. "Set them on "Detect" mode, and have them search for any signs of extraterrestrial matter."
"Okie-dokie!!!" the little robot whooped gleefully, as Zim watched him zoom out of the room.
"Watch as I infiltrate your dookie-doo bases, Earthlings! There shall be no escape from Zim, greatest of all the Irken soldiers!!!!" hollering with a maniacal laugh, Zim's voice was barely contained within the stronghold, as those above him slept silently, unaware of the menace hidden within their beloved planet.
They called it the "Rose Room," but the girl didn't know why...everything was so stark and austere.. nothing struck Nel as being particularly "rosy," but this was what she was told to call it. All she could do was silently ponder the meaning behind the room's title. Any more would invoke castigation..Nel had learned that so long ago, and she rubbed one of her scar-covered arms as to display this knowledge.
The Rose Room was composed of little more then a white, sterile bed and a night stand, with a single, barred skylight, the only source of natural light that was permitted. Sometimes there would be a stuffed toy on the bed for her, or even a box of chocolates, but that had been a rarity, and Nel couldn't recollect the last time this had happened. Now all she had was the stiff, springboard mattress and scratchy sheets. She found it hard to rest when all she saw above her was that cage-like window, the bars blocking her view of the sky above.
Tracing a finger along her chest, Nel felt the taut stitches running along her body, the black threads of nylon barely bending as she touched them carefully. Her breathes were still irregular and a twinge of pain that was rooted within her would continually unearth itself, like a recurring nightmare, whenever she spoke.
~I'm better then I was before....that's what mother told me..~ as optimistic as she tried to be, Nel couldn't reenact that smile from before; her mouth refused to budge even by the littlest margin. She remembered being awake during the entire surgery; they hadn't administered any more morphine for fear of losing her to its effects. They had her affixed to the table again, head clamped to the unyielding, flat surface.
In her mind, she could still see the needles and thread, the tributaries of blood staining the examination table's veneer, and most of all, the faces boring down on her helpless form, their eyes shielded behind plastic goggles. They had haphazardly torn her single piece of clothing during the early stages of her operation, and it lay underneath her, sopping wet with some warm liquid..she hadn't figured then that it was her own bodily fluids....hadn't had the perception to think straight, not when her world was reeling with pain.
Where had the compassionate voice and embodiment been when she needed it most? Why hadn't it been beside her like all the other times, spouting words of confidence, telling her that everything was going to be alright. Nel had always figured it had been this person that had been leaving her presents in the Rose Room. But he had never been there to meet her..never their when she could clearly see his face..
Nel watched as drops of rain collided with and slid off her solitary window; saw the blurred bolts of lightning zigzagging across the sky like the doodles of a ghostly child. Sucking in some air, and suppressing the soreness welling in her lungs, she found herself also smothering the urge to cry, forcing the tears back into her poignant eyes.
She raked a hand through her flaxen bangs, naturally blond amongst a tangled mat of otherwise brown hair, and turned onto her side, finally giving into this unmistakable misery, tiny pools of water seeping into the collar of her threadbare shirt. After her operation, they had given her a new, less ragged garment, but the fabric was still so thin that it barely protected her pallor skin from the elements, and the Rose Room was infrequently heated. But Nel supposed anything was better then sleeping in a piece of clothing that was inundated with your own blood and sweat.
Slight arms wrapped around her likewise supple body, Nel, eyes clenched tightly, bit her lower lip in her moment of pure anxiety, wanting so much to ascend beyond those bars, lacking the reason behind this endless existence of testing and torturing. If she only knew why this was the way she had to live, then Nel might have been peaceful, been able to find solace in the Rose Room.
But there was no answer to her inquiry.
In the darkness, there was no accompanying light to shine down on her. She had no one to turn to..no one to tell her how why she was here..
Squinting her eyes, shedding one last, heavy tear, Nel wished upon the stars she couldn't see for another chance..a chance to do better..to satisfy and gratify..
~I am nothing without you mother..but if you are not here...what can I do to help myself..~
The clouds parted, for just one moment..and a single light shone down..but like so many other things in her life, it was out of Nel's sight..as she lay amid her sea of woe..fast asleep..