Disclaimer: I do not own it.

Thanks to:

neppy: You have every right to be confused. I told you, I had to reread the whole story just to figure out how to write it again. Thanks for reading it for me anyway.

Otaku Pitcher: You can be a couple of months late on the review since I was a year late in the update. ::big smile:: I actually like Nephiro a lot: she's a great character to write and she's had such a craptastic life that a pity her. (But only I know what I'm talking about there, although after this chapter you get a hint at what I'm talking about.) But, you should give Nephiro a shot. I'm beginning to favor her and this story over Yume and Wishful. Of course, I really shouldn't be saying that. It's bad to play favorites.

Author's note: Well, I'm updating again. (And it hasn't even been a year yet!) This chapter is rather short, but I like it. Nephiro's hatred of the gods is finally explained, along with a bit more information about her. I don't really have much else to say about it so, I guess I'll just end this note now.

Chapter 10: Recollections

I sat under a tree, the leaf-filled branches blocking the already blistering sun, enjoying a moment to myself. The last few months had been...busy. Genrou decided that I was too "fragile" to do anything but cook and clean at first. He soon learned differently. I am now equal to Kouji in his eyes, if not a little more...special. I managed to earn myself a place everybody's life here...some more than others. Which brings me to why I'm here, sitting under a tree in a hidden meadow that I found in the middle of the forest, thinking. Genrou and Kouji are getting too clingy and I've been in this body too long. Humanity is creeping up on me too fast. But I do not care about all this right now. My mind is on another topic: my plan. It's almost time. So close I am to my absolute goal. I can hardly suppress a laugh.

But something else is helping me from breaking out into insane giggles. You see, when you are as close to vengeance as I, you begin to think, to think about what brought you here, what made you so vengeance crazed in the first place. What single event could have possibly been so wrong that the need for vengeance was intense enough to drive all other earthly desires from your mind until it and only it filled your soul, or what now lies where it used to be. Mine was simple to identify: I had been cheated my entire existence. It was hard to pinpoint the last straw, the final joke that the Fates played on me, but I knew it. Oh, did I know it. I may have been cheated by them my entire "life" but there are some things you do not forget.

It was a very long time ago when the event that landed me imprisoned took place. I had been on the run for a long time, fleeing from the truth, from my reality, going from world to world without any real plan, never staying long, until I came upon this realm. The peaceful atmosphere intrigued me and I found myself taking a tour of the place. While traveling across the desert region of this land, I encountered a young man who called himself Lucien. He told me that he was traveling the world in search of adventure. He possessed a love of life that was so alien to my own world-loathing nature that I decided to accompany him for a while to learn more about him. We grew...close in our time together. But, although he proved to be a rather effective distraction, reason soon returned and with it came the realization that I would have to leave this realm soon. I explained this to him, as best I could without giving anything away, and he asked if I would grant him a favor first. He wanted to show me something, he said, it would take but a moment. If I would just grant him this favor, he would say no more to try and get me to stay, unless I wanted to. I agreed: at that point I would have agreed to just about anything if only to extend our time together for a few moments longer. It was then that I learned I wasn't the only one with a secret.

Instead of walking, he took me to the place by his own form of warping. The place he wanted to show me was the God's Realm, a location even I had never been privileged to visit. He revealed what by then I had already begun to suspect: that he was a god in disguise, Byakko to be exact. He assumed that I would be awed by the revealing of his true identity or at least a little surprised and was shocked when I didn't break down. I chose then to divulge my own little secret with a short demonstration. He showed far more disbelief than I, ('I guess that means I was the better actor,' I found myself thinking), and asked if I was a goddess. I quickly corrected him.

Despite the, well, the impossibility of it, he accepted me as I was and I came to stay with him. He brought out the human side of my personality and that was when I did some of my best works for the world. I can be very nice when I want to be. I met his three friends and fellow gods, and even became friends with the one called Suzaku, the one whom I now wish to destroy. It's strange how much things can change. The irony of my existence never ceases to amaze me.

Everything went fine for a while: they didn't bother me and I didn't bother them. Genbu and Seiryuu distrusted me because of my "demonic" nature, but over all we got along well enough. Byakko and I were completely in love, or so I thought. Indeed, he, Suzaku and I were quite the little group. I think it was the only time in the whole of my existence that I was truly happy. But that soon changed. All good things must come to an end, it is said. I learned this soon enough.

Suzaku, who was Byakko's closest friend apart from me, caught me on one of the rare times during the day in which I am alone. I was looking through the mirror at the world below, the very one which now adorns my cell, and so did not notice him approach. He snaked his arms around my waist in the very way that Byakko usually did and so I thought it was Byakko. I looked up, smiling, until I saw his face where I had expected to see my love's. My eyes narrowed and I faded out of his grasp and reformed just out of his reach. "What do you think you are doing?" I demanded, a testy note in my voice and an angry blood red tint in my eyes.

"Taking what should be mine," he replied taking a step towards me. "Byakko doesn't deserve you. I should have you. Me and only me."

"Don't you dare presume you can claim me! I am not property. I have a mind of my own and it tells me that you will never be able to measure up to Byakko, if you catch all the meanings of that," I snapped, smirking and allowing my eyes to drift downward to make sure he caught it. His eyes bulged in anger and he took another step towards me.

"Give me a moment and I will show you how wrong you are in that analysis," he said, still coming towards me.

"Stop." My voice rang out so full of loathing that he involuntarily froze mid-step. "I do not know what makes you think you have the ability to take me from your best friend but you are sorely mistaken if you think you can. I am shocked by your behavior and would appreciate it if you desisted from ever speaking to me again."

"You will forever regret those words, my dear. This is my realm, I can destroy you."

I laughed at him then; it was a harsh laugh, filled with little true mirth. "You could not destroy me if you had a thousand years to try. I am not from this world; your rule here holds no power over me. Nothing has dominion of me, not even the Fates. But try if you'd like. It will amusing to see your efforts," I told him, being utterly truthful. "Now get out of my sight. You make me sick."

He smirked at me then, a smirk I will never forget. "Have it your way then. Your over confidence will one day be your downfall." He left and I thought it was over. How I was wrong.

He must have spoken to Seiryuu and Genbu during the night because the next morning, as soon as Byakko went out, all three of them confronted me. Suzaku accused me of using Byakko so that when his priestess came I could take over the world. I'm still not entirely sure how I would go about doing that but the apparent idiocy of his accusation seemed to have escaped his co-conspirators (who distrusted me due to my demonic nature). He then proceeded to accuse me of threatening to destroy him. I denied the first accusation but refrained from commenting on the second, but they naturally believed him and with Byakko gone, I found myself without allies.

They restrained me, as I was "unpredictable," grabbing a hold of both my corporeal and spiritual forms so that I would have no means of escape. Suzaku leaned in and whispered in my ear. "I told you that you'd regret it." He let his face linger close to mine for a moment, breathing on my neck and I spit at him. He pulled away and slapped me across the face. I lunged for him and would have succeeded in doing some serious damage but was immediately wrenched back by the combined efforts of the other two gods.

"Careful now. You're only succeeding in proving your guilt," he chided at me, an amused glint in his eyes.

"How very brave you are, Suzaku, confronting me when I'm alone. I can tell I was wrong in my analysis of you yesterday. Your balls aren't just small, they're non-existent," I spat.

His eyes bulged in outrage and he prepared to correct me but that was when Byakko decided to return. He took one look at the rage on both mine and Suzaku's faces and the obvious strain present on the other two's and demanded to know what was going on. Since it took all of Seiryuu and Genbu's powers combined to hold me, Suzaku got to tell Byakko of my alleged crimes.

"You can't help her, Byakko. She's proven her guilt in her actions today. You're outnumbered on this matter. Concede defeat. This is for your own good," Suzaku told him after relating the charges to him. "Her sentence is already decided. It's nothing more than she deserves."

"I'm sorry, my heart," Byakko said to me. "I'll do what I can."

His words might have been sincere, but I was lost to my rage by then. "I know," I replied, my voice dripping with venom. "I should have known better than to trust gods."

I was then stripped of my physical form and sentenced to my world of darkness. I vowed never to trust anyone but myself again and blocked out the humanistic side of my being. That was the start of my quest to find someone who is what they seem, someone "pure."

Now, as I near my goal, I couldn't help but think of Byakko. When I destroy this world, as I plan to do soon, I destroy him with it. I'm...not sure if I can. No, that's wrong. I know I can. I'm not sure that I want to. 'He didn't spare me, why should I spare him?' Perhaps part of me still resides with him. If that is so, then it is no wonder that I am experiencing hesitation about destroying him. Maybe, just after I start the chaos (once it is past the point of reversal, of course), I will return to the God's Realm and ask him if he wants to escape with me, to start a new life. I do not know if I will, but I will consider it.

I was too lost in thought to hear the footsteps before it was too late.

Author's Note: Ok, so that was a rather evil place to end it but I had to. The next chapter is great and if all goes well, I should be putting it up rather shortly so, stay tuned. ::hopeful smile:: And, if it's not too much of an inconvenience, I'd appreciate some feedback. Maybe? Please? Well, here's a quote:

"Hurts YOU?!? Yeah, well, sorry but I'm fresh out of pity. It never was my strong point, but you should know that."

There ya go. What could have her so riled up? Hmm...who knows?

Smack