Chapter 7: Clearing of Day
Zim looked up from his pair of Irken binoculars, the metal contraption encasing the entire upper portion of his head. Hidden in a large bush, no one could see the particularly devious grin plastered across his green face, or how his eyes sparkled with the craving to destroy the happiness his greatest rival had just achieved.
"I remember once when I had to deal with this stupid human emotion..the one called 'love'.." his tongue flicked rapidly like a serpent's, "Such a disgusting waste of time is this trivial feeling..why love when you could rather obliterate!"
The Irken Tak, who had attempted to steal ~his~ planet..He remembered that overzealous brat all too well. She had seduced the filthy Dib-human, his future slave, all while ignoring Zim's attempts to woo. The Invader knew how powerful love was, and how it bewitched the mind. But in the end, Dib had escaped its clutches, or at least it seemed. Somehow, every time, he was able to escape eminent doom!
Angrily balling his hands, Zim then turned back to his keen observations, and noticed that Dib had already walked away with the young girl. He spat crossly, putting away his alien spying device. It folded in on itself several times, until it was only a small cube, tiny enough to be stuffed into the pocket of his Irken uniform.
"He's gone..but no matter, I know all that I need to!" he grinned again, as he stood from his leafy alcove, a twig embedded in his black hairpiece. Wrenching it out, the Irken followed the same path the human's had taken, jotting down a couple, concise notes. "Dib..you and your foolish, pathetic, mushy human feelings will lead to your destruction..I guarantee it..."
A spit ball soared through the air like a cannonball, arching in the sky, and gracefully falling towards its unsuspecting target. Giving a chuckle, Torque waited in anticipation, straw still in hand.
With a disgusting, moist "splat!" it collided into Dib's head, as strands of saliva started to run down the sides of his face. Torque, along with the rest of his goons, erupted into laughter, holding their thick sides; but their amusement was short lived, as the jeers died down unexpectedly.
Dib was smiling.
"Duh..what's wrong with Dib?" Torque said as he scratched his dirty blond hair, "Why's he not acting all stupid and stuff, duh?"
"I don't know, maybe he just, like, became so retarded, his brain melted..." midnight blue hair draped about her face, Sarah gruffly placed her hands on her hips. "Look at him! Like, what a weirdo!!"
The truth was, Torque could have assaulted him with a thousand spit balls- or paper airplanes, or pencils, or bricks- and it wouldn't have dazed him in the littlest way. That goofy smile bolted onto his mouth, Dib's mind had left skool entirely, and was wandering somewhere between the upper stratosphere and the moon. The spit-saturated projectile finally fell onto his desk, next to his finger, and Dib finally noticed then that his face was mildly coated with the fluids from inside Torque's fat face. Giving a half-hearted frown, he used the back of his hand to wipe the goo away, before returning to his wonderful day-dreaming. The rest of the walk to skool had been an experience comparable to winning the lottery for Dib, his hand tentatively reaching for Nel's. They hadn't said anything since arriving at skool, most likely out of wracked nerves. But now all Dib could anticipate was for the clock to strike 3, so that he could leave and go walk home with Nel...his Nel. A butterfly flapped its wings of edginess in his gut, as Dib thought of all the things that could transpire now. Dib couldn't disregard the fact that Nel wasn't the first girl he had liked...maybe even loved..that title belonged to Tak. But she had played with his feelings, as if he were some marionette. Of course now his feelings for her had crumbled like a piece of stale bread, but they had been there at one time or another; Dib regretted ever having these misguided sensations of love and curiosity.
But Nel wasn't like Tak..she was ~so~ unlike Tak. Reserved and quiet...he almost wondered how they came to meet, what with her unbreakable shyness. Every time she called his name, his mouth would instantly twist into a smile, as if by reflex, a dormant instinct that had just been uncovered. He wondered if he was smiling at that moment; his whole mind was numb with euphoria.
Zim leaned over his desk, carefully observing Dib's unusual behavior. By this time, on any normal day, the paranormalist would be hollering about how the Earth's only hero should be treated with more respect, not used as target-practice. Only the eerie Ms. Bitters could extinguish his maniacal rants, her scowl being terrible enough to make a moose drop dead.
~Note..pain and usual torture methods seem to have miniscule effect on the worm-baby...~ his brow furrowing broodingly, the Irken worried that whatever hurt he could and ~would~ inflict upon his nemesis would be ignored or, even worse, scoffed away. ~I must find a way to mar his dim-witted self while under this repulsive infatuation..~
Sitting down in his crumbling chair, Zim simply could not understand how one single emotion, how such a little thing like love could leave a person so defenseless, so open to attack. But then again, he had thought the same about the Tristanum race; how they had seemed so frail..but he knew the results of the Irken's hastiness..
And now he was going against one of the inhabitant's of Triste. He would have to carry extra precautions for this undertaking. How was he to confront such an exceptional foe? Her disguise and demeanor created a guise of weakness...Zim had already deduced that she was trying to hoodwink him, but no mere façade had the ability to elude the high-minded alien. The corners of his mouth tugging into a cruel smirk, he wondered if the girl knew of his position, that he was fully aware of her lineage..
Oblivious to Zim's cut-throat glare, Nel was drearily staring through the skool windows, at the bleak skies that had dominated the firmament. Once in a while, she would reach over and lightly tap Dib on his shoulder, just to see his smile as he twisted around in his chair.
Nel found it too hard to concentrate now. There was so much to contemplate.
Carefully stroking her neck, the brown-eyed girl, clothed once more in her dress of periwinkle, could still hear the tenacious screams of her mother, and how she had gripped Nel so viciously, her entire body writhing in pain. She closed her eyes for a moment...just for a moment as the anguish flooded her mind. Was she free from this daily routine of suffering and misery, or had she simply been given a short reprieve?
The other person had said that her mother was gone, but for how long?
Nel slouched in her seat, as she dolefully watched the hands of the clock slowly make their way around their circular path, wondering if her life was nothing more than a loop, destined to repeat itself evermore. Refusing to sulk like a piece of dead meat, she instead straightened her back once more; her spine was becoming cramped from the drooping position she had been assuming.
~Love...I said I loved you Dib..~ she thought to herself, as a bird flew to the window sill, staring at her thoughtfully, as if it were trying to assuage her tensions. ~But..do I know that means? I-I don't want to hurt...I've hurt so many..~
She admitted that on more then one occasion, she had seriously doubted her ability to feel, and to show feelings. But she felt pain day by day, whether it was another horrible laboratory test or a simple head-ache. Nel hated to say that the only person that had shown her love had no face to her, just an empty shadow with a voice box. What good were feelings if she had no one to show them to?
But now she had this someone, a face and a voice, combined to a make a body and soul, both which inhabited a person..this boy..Dib. Smiling, Nel let her sleepy head rest on the table, wondering where these new found emotions would lead her.
Love.
Nel had never known a more precious thing.
Outside, a small hole appeared in the ceiling of grey clouds. A fragile streak of yellow sunlight shot through like a magical bullet or arrow..a single warrior battling against an angry mob. Sometimes the hole would momentarily close, shutting off the sunlight's flow, but it returned afterwards, more vibrant than ever. It was so inspiring to her! She had never before felt so alive.. treading on the edge between new feelings, both incredible and horrible..and Nel, even if she didn't...even if she ~couldn't~....admit to it, welcomed and wanted them..but more than anything, she needed them.
Need...had she ever ~needed~ anyone before..a single entity that could give her new meaning? Something other then her life inside that accursed building? Nel chuckled; she had never felt rebellious towards the scientists...it almost felt like a sort of childish liberation.
Never before, had she felt such a strong urge to be free. In the past, she had been yielding and submissive to her benefactors...to her mother. A tremble of guilt shook her conscience. No matter how much she had hated, no matter how much she had feared her mother..she was still her mother..and she had done something so atrocious to cause such an incensed hatred within that woman.
Nel shook her head as it remained on top of her folded arms. She supposed that she could never be entirely free from the blame..in some way, she was guilty till the end.
The bird flew away from its post, and Nel gave a long, drawn-out sigh.
The second hand of the mounted clock swung into home base, as the annoyingly shrill bell announced the end of an extraordinarily long school day. Dib instantly jumped to his feet, snatching up his books and haphazardly shoving them into his back pack. A thousand thoughts were littering his already cluttered head, and Dib couldn't simply concentrate on a single one. Turning around to face Nel, he immediately noticed the pensive gaze gripping her face. His smile dropped, as he let his skool supplies fall to the ground.
"Nel?" his voice rose with concern, "Are you okay?"
"Huh? Oh...yes...everything is alright.." Nel spoke in her usual, monotone voice, a whisper that only Dib could hear. But he wasn't satisfied with her response, worried that he had taken things too quickly, that she was having second thoughts. She had only known him for a few days. "Dib..."
Slowly caressing his face, that effortless touch enough to calm his mightiest fears, Dib relaxed, as they exited the classroom, an overly curious Ms. Bitters leering over them, rubbing her dry hands together menacingly.
"They're all doomed...doomed...doomed..."
By the time Dib and Nel had left the skool building, sunlight had one the better hand in its battle with the sun. Dominating the sky, Nel couldn't help but relish in the warm light as it bathed her gentle face. And Dib wanted to soak in every part of her visage, every strand of hair that became rich in color with the beaming luminosity.
He wanted her.
Her voice did things to him that no mere fantasy could cause, and he wasn't ashamed of it. How could he be? Any sane guy felt this way about a girl at some point in their life; it was only natural that Dib's time was a little earlier then most. Lonely since the death of his mother, the boy never had a soul to confide in, an ear that was willing to listen, and a heart that could share his troubles and joys.
"Um, Nel, can I ask you something..." Dib spoke in hushed tones, though they were alone. He wanted so badly to just hold her hand, but resisted, waiting until he knew he was welcome to do so....there was no way in hell that he was going to screw this up.
Walking alongside the bespectacled boy, Nel remained silent, and nodded her head in response; several locks of golden hair that had been tucked behind her ear fell out of place as she did so.
"Nel..what do you see in me...I mean, what makes you like me?" shoving his hands into the pockets of his trench coat, Dib nervously gazed at the girl out of the corner of his eye. Hesitantly, he tucked the loose strands of hair back, her oval glasses sliding down the length of her petite nose. "You don't have to answer it if you don't want to..."
"It's alright," Nel replied finally, after Dib pulled his hand away. She herself had been pondering this very same question ever since this morning, or perhaps ever since her first day of school. She knew it, the moment she had sat behind Dib, clear as day that this boy was different. He reminded her of something she couldn't quite place...Nel guessed that confusion had led her at first, but afterwards, something else had replaced it...
"Well?" Dib stopped walking, glad that Nel was willing to answer him, and wondering what she had to say. The girl also halted, slowly turning around, face composed and poised.
"Well, I didn't you noticed my form at first.." brushing invisible dust of the frock of her dress, Nel continued without making eye contact, "But there's something about you, Dib..like you would understand me better then anyone else...I like that."
"Understand you?" inquisitive about her reply, Dib lightly tapped her nose playfully, "I guess I see.."
"I'm sorry if I am confusing," Nel brought her head back up, a look of shame painted on her face. "I should be going home.."
"Actually, I was wondering if maybe you could come over to my house," Dib became anxious, hoping he hadn't turned the girl off, "No one'll be home..so you don't have to worry about my creepy sister, and my dad is never around anyway."
Nel thought about this. She was supposed to report back to the Rose Room after skool immediately. To disobey would lead to severe penalties, and Nel's face paled to the notion. But that was when her mother was there.
Did she dare take a risk, her very first risk?
Her mind screamed and called her a fool. Her heart told her to simply do what she felt was right. But did Nel know what was for the best? She had never done anything for her own sake; to be selfish now would be like becoming a different person.
Maybe that was happening already. Already she was seeing with her heart, and not her eyes.
"I'd..I'd like that," a smile cracking on her face, Nel returned to his side once more, timidly wrapping a thin arm around Dib's back. A shiver went down his spine, but he suppressed it. But in a way, he kinda liked it...
Dib felt a surge of triumph flow through him, like a spark of energy. He'd never had a ~girl~ in his house, much less his own room. Maybe..just maybe she wouldn't ridicule him and his fixation in the paranormal, not like most other girls did. But then again, Nel wasn't like most girls.
She had proven that by just talking to him, without an insult or jab. ~God~ Dib sighed, but it wasn't his usual heavy-hearted sigh, but one of bliss, ~I can't believe that was just this morning..~
As they approached the Membrane household, the blue and grey exterior impressive and daunting to the small girl, Nel found herself wordless. Her knees bordered on near collapse, and she could perceive tiny drops of wetness grow on her forehead, for she knew not what lay within this building. She felt like an explorer, entering some new cavern or diving deep into the sea, and while her excitement was growing with every step, so was her inevitable fright. Maybe that made the ordeal even more incredible.
What's forbidden always seems so tempting.
Biting her lip, she watched as Dib unlocked the front door, opening it for her. Nel forced a quick, fleeting smile before entering.
At first, Nel could hardly see anything beyond her arm's reach, as the living room was lightless, a sign that they were the house's only inhabitants. She could hear a grandfather clock slowly ticking to her right, but that was all. The silence was so thick; it was almost tangible, as if she could reach out and take it in her hand. Nel almost jumped as Dib came up from behind her, one of his thin hands quickly flicking on a table lamp.
The room was well furnished, everything neatly organized, and nothing dashed about, another sign that the house was indeed empty as Dib had claimed.
"Well, this is it..sorry it's not that much..." Dib walked into the center of the room.
But Nel wasn't paying attention to the room itself. A stirring and a yearning had been increasing since she had left skool...her id was being provoked by some imaginary force.
~Do you want to feel love, Nel..~
She gulped, curious as to what this strange feeling was, her throat becoming increasingly dry as she pretended to admire her surroundings. Clutching her hands together, Nel also realized that they had suddenly become quiet cold, even though she could hear the ceiling vents exude waves of warmth. Biting her lower lip, she looked up at Dib, and was surprised to see him acting in almost an identical manner, as he was fiddling with the tails of his coat and adjusting his glasses several times.
"So...um....d-did you want a-anything to drink?" flabbergasted by his machine-gun like stuttering, Dib almost slapped himself. He didn't want to mortify himself in his own home, but it seemed all too inevitable, for he was falling victim to sensations he never thought would cross his path. He felt uncomfortably hot and stuffy, tugging at the collar of his t-shirt, and even the spaces in between his toes were becoming inundated with sweat. Something was trying to propel him forward to some unknown destination.
For perhaps the first time in his life, Dib was actually afraid of the unknown. He didn't want to continue with this shady situation, not knowing what could happen next; he wanted to know for sure. He wanted a sense of security, but he genuinely doubted that was going to be permissible. But, like a double-edge knife, this sensation was so alluring at the same time. His feet were itching to race up the stairs with Nel, to whatever situation awaited him.
Although his vision had become almost hazed with dim-wittedness, Dib could sense Nel swiftly moving to the lamp shade, unexpectedly cutting off that sole source of light. As they were plunged into obscurity once more, Dib swore that he could see steam emitting off of his hands.
"Nel.." he gasped, the air in his lungs thin and unsupportive. But he felt a hot finger press against his lips. His eyes dilated to the size of tea saucers.
"I can't comprehend this feeling, Dib..I'm afraid..." her voice was breathy, as if she too were fighting off this undetectable, inner commotion. Nel pulled her hand away, allowing Dib to speak, but they remained locked in silence.
He suddenly took her hand into his own, as the two darkened shapes flew up the stairs like a pair of birds zipping across the night sky. Beside herself with shock and eagerness, Nel could feel Dib's pulse as her hand wrapped around one of his wrists; it felt like a tympani gone insane, and the pounding was going faster still.
And yet they did not speak, but let their hearts say every thing that needed to be said, just as they were being led by their hearts. The girl followed him with eyes that were wide and watery into a small room.
Dib turned to face Nel once they were both inside. His cheeks were flushed and moist, and when he spoke to her, his voice was ragged.
"Nel..I don't to hurt you..I never want to hurt you..." huffing, he gently clenched both of Nel's slender shoulders, tightening his grip as he ended his sentence. "Just tell me..if I'm hurting you..."
He paused, catching his breath, but found that he couldn't keep up with his heightened pulse, that he was always behind the brisk beating of his own heart. Nel looked up into his face, golden locks framing her face perfectly, and gazed longingly into Dib's eyes. The sun was already setting by this time, as that side of the world was about to be thrust into late fall. It only served to intensify the atmosphere, that low light barely creating a silhouette on the walls.
~~~~Never opened myself this way..~~~~
They leaned into one another, at first faltering, pulling back. Dib looked again into her eyes, searching for that hope, that confidence that she could give him. He pulled her closer to him, young hands tracing the willowy curve of her back, and Nel moaned in response, finally crushing her lips into his. It was forceful at first, the raw emotions unrefined and inexperienced.
Nel took the boy's face, swathed with sweat, in both of her hands, kissing him over and over. Abandoning all reason, Dib forced his tongue into her mouth, investigating all of her, and unpredictably, Nel returned the passion, that shy and quiet girl long gone. They intertwined themselves with unprecedented love, pausing only to catch their breath. When they did, Dib could feel the girl's hot breath against his neck.
After a moment, mouth still open, Nel stepped away, and Dib noticed with extreme embarrassment how aroused his entire body had become. His cheeks flushed like a fire truck's sirens. When he had collected back enough of his awareness to look back at Nel, he noticed how she was now standing next to his bed, the moon shining through the window behind her, just peering over the horizon.
~~~~Life is ours, we live it our way..~~~~
Dib gulped again, for what seemed to be the hundredth time that day. His hands were shaking violently, groping for something to hold, as Nel beckoned him over to the bed. Dib was all too happy to oblige, already tugging off his trench coat.
All he could say was her name as he rushed up to meet her, hands raking through soft, flaxen hair, tasting her skin with gentle kisses, overcome with this want and need. This time, as they kissed, it seemed to last so much longer. Their passion lingered, and a tiny voice in the back of Nel's mind was telling her to pull away, to slow this down before she did anything she could ever regret. But it was clear from the start that this was going to go so much farther than a simple kiss.
"Nel..a-are you alright..alright with this?" he stammered again, mostly from an uncontrollable tension that never seemed to die. Nel did not answer at first, but continued to kiss his lips, trailing down to his neck.
"Yes..I love you..I don't want to feel lonely.." she finally said, eyes closed as she embraced him, "I just don't want to hurt you..."
"Let me free you..set you free from your loneliness."
Fumbling with untried desire, Dib awkwardly moved his hands in the dark, desperately trying to locate and undo the buttons of her dress. Nel let out a hushed laugh, not one of ridicule, but rather a laugh of indulgence, urging him forward past this minor obstacle. She pulled his t-shirt off over his head, rustling his raven hair, and let it fall next to them as Dib finally figured out the mechanics of her periwinkle garment. It pooled at her feet, the discarded piece of fabric finally revealing Nel's vulnerable body, clothed only in a pair of white, cotton panties.
Dib felt the skin on his face crawl, his body rigid with fright as he let his eyes wander over her body..A body that was covered in scars, with one large, circular wound located in the middle of her stomach.
"What happened..." he managed to choke out in his stupor. Nel had expected this kind of response, and did not blame him for it...it was rather ghastly. Instinctively, however, she pulled both of her hands across her abdomen, covering that horrific scar.
"I'm sorry...I should have said something," Nel said, the pain plain in her soft voice.
Dib calmly laid the girl onto his bed, sitting down beside her, all while still trapped in a firm encirclement. None of his passion had left him..it had actually been increased by Nel's never-ending innocence, her eyes staring at him so openly that he almost had to look away, it was so overbearing.
She could put angels to shame.
He felt like laughing; he hadn't believed in angels..or hope for that matter...but here, right in his arms at that very moment, he had the only reason to have hope, to have ambition and inspiration. Kneeling above her, his mind was bursting with Nel's image, her hands over her head and her legs drawn up with her knees bent. Dib considered it a miracle that he hadn't fainted right then and there.
"You're beautiful...not even this could change what you truly are..."
Nel's face was radiant now, as the moon had filled the sky, floating above like some massive, opalescent pearl. As she laid there, her pale skin glowing like a star, Dib was suddenly struck with the realization that he didn't know what to do or how to act. Nel, on the other hand, seemed almost serene. So well did she hide her own fears, her worry that she would not be able to please.
~~~~All these words, I don't just say...~~~~
Jerked back into the here and now, Dib realized that Nel had stripped away her last piece of clothing, tossed aside like some unwanted afterthought. She lay there beneath him, totally submissive, giving him access to everything she was and trusting him not to shatter that. He was reminded of an exquisite porcelain figurine, one that was perfectly wrought, yet so incredibly fragile. For a while, he just looked at Nel, this girl that had just walked into his life no more then a week ago. The girl he had at one point called a pathetic individual. He wish he had never said that now...she wasn't even close to being pathetic; if anything, she was a better person than he.
Dib removed the last of his garments, shoving aside the shame he knew could only inhibit, not facilitate. Never had he felt so warm, as he placed himself on top of his Nel, this stunning girl that gave his life a whole new meaning. They were clothed now only in the warmth of one another, and that was more than enough for both of them.
Starting to kiss her again, Dib fervently let his lips travel across her landscape like a roving vagrant, feeding off of her moans and sweet voice as he kissed her neck. She pushed his lips further down, his eyelashes giving her soft butterfly kisses on her thin stomach. By this time, that little voice inside Nel's mind had been snuffed out entirely, and the flames that might have been extinguished before were now being fanned into a giant bonfire.
Spreading her legs, Dib suddenly froze as he felt Nel begin to guide him into her. That fear-reflex, that if they continued, there would be no turning back, was his only restriction, as they no longer had the barriers that clothes provided. Dib lifted his head away, his hips rigid and back slightly arched.
And there she laid, bathed in pure light, like some angel from the moon, sent down from the heavens.
And there was her gaze.
And there she was.
For him.
Every gut feeling inside Dib told him to run away, like he had so many times before in the face of his very own feelings. But the smile on Nel's face, that smile that Dib had only seen, reassured him that everything was going to be okay.
He took her hand away, and, placing a sweaty, shaky hand on her supple hips, finished the journey himself. The world about him seemed to fade out of existence, dying off like the passing fog as the two joined as one, not simply dwelling in lust, but experiencing love...
~~~~Ain't Nothing Else Matters...~~~~
[Author's Note: Well, first off, I don't own the lyrics to "Nothing Else Matters" by Metallica, my favorite song by one of my favorite bands by the way =3 I do hope that you enjoyed this very emotional chapter...and that I haven't turned too many of you guys away with this little intervention into the more sappy (and mature) aspect of Dib and Nel's relationship! Please read and review! Thanks!]
Zim looked up from his pair of Irken binoculars, the metal contraption encasing the entire upper portion of his head. Hidden in a large bush, no one could see the particularly devious grin plastered across his green face, or how his eyes sparkled with the craving to destroy the happiness his greatest rival had just achieved.
"I remember once when I had to deal with this stupid human emotion..the one called 'love'.." his tongue flicked rapidly like a serpent's, "Such a disgusting waste of time is this trivial feeling..why love when you could rather obliterate!"
The Irken Tak, who had attempted to steal ~his~ planet..He remembered that overzealous brat all too well. She had seduced the filthy Dib-human, his future slave, all while ignoring Zim's attempts to woo. The Invader knew how powerful love was, and how it bewitched the mind. But in the end, Dib had escaped its clutches, or at least it seemed. Somehow, every time, he was able to escape eminent doom!
Angrily balling his hands, Zim then turned back to his keen observations, and noticed that Dib had already walked away with the young girl. He spat crossly, putting away his alien spying device. It folded in on itself several times, until it was only a small cube, tiny enough to be stuffed into the pocket of his Irken uniform.
"He's gone..but no matter, I know all that I need to!" he grinned again, as he stood from his leafy alcove, a twig embedded in his black hairpiece. Wrenching it out, the Irken followed the same path the human's had taken, jotting down a couple, concise notes. "Dib..you and your foolish, pathetic, mushy human feelings will lead to your destruction..I guarantee it..."
A spit ball soared through the air like a cannonball, arching in the sky, and gracefully falling towards its unsuspecting target. Giving a chuckle, Torque waited in anticipation, straw still in hand.
With a disgusting, moist "splat!" it collided into Dib's head, as strands of saliva started to run down the sides of his face. Torque, along with the rest of his goons, erupted into laughter, holding their thick sides; but their amusement was short lived, as the jeers died down unexpectedly.
Dib was smiling.
"Duh..what's wrong with Dib?" Torque said as he scratched his dirty blond hair, "Why's he not acting all stupid and stuff, duh?"
"I don't know, maybe he just, like, became so retarded, his brain melted..." midnight blue hair draped about her face, Sarah gruffly placed her hands on her hips. "Look at him! Like, what a weirdo!!"
The truth was, Torque could have assaulted him with a thousand spit balls- or paper airplanes, or pencils, or bricks- and it wouldn't have dazed him in the littlest way. That goofy smile bolted onto his mouth, Dib's mind had left skool entirely, and was wandering somewhere between the upper stratosphere and the moon. The spit-saturated projectile finally fell onto his desk, next to his finger, and Dib finally noticed then that his face was mildly coated with the fluids from inside Torque's fat face. Giving a half-hearted frown, he used the back of his hand to wipe the goo away, before returning to his wonderful day-dreaming. The rest of the walk to skool had been an experience comparable to winning the lottery for Dib, his hand tentatively reaching for Nel's. They hadn't said anything since arriving at skool, most likely out of wracked nerves. But now all Dib could anticipate was for the clock to strike 3, so that he could leave and go walk home with Nel...his Nel. A butterfly flapped its wings of edginess in his gut, as Dib thought of all the things that could transpire now. Dib couldn't disregard the fact that Nel wasn't the first girl he had liked...maybe even loved..that title belonged to Tak. But she had played with his feelings, as if he were some marionette. Of course now his feelings for her had crumbled like a piece of stale bread, but they had been there at one time or another; Dib regretted ever having these misguided sensations of love and curiosity.
But Nel wasn't like Tak..she was ~so~ unlike Tak. Reserved and quiet...he almost wondered how they came to meet, what with her unbreakable shyness. Every time she called his name, his mouth would instantly twist into a smile, as if by reflex, a dormant instinct that had just been uncovered. He wondered if he was smiling at that moment; his whole mind was numb with euphoria.
Zim leaned over his desk, carefully observing Dib's unusual behavior. By this time, on any normal day, the paranormalist would be hollering about how the Earth's only hero should be treated with more respect, not used as target-practice. Only the eerie Ms. Bitters could extinguish his maniacal rants, her scowl being terrible enough to make a moose drop dead.
~Note..pain and usual torture methods seem to have miniscule effect on the worm-baby...~ his brow furrowing broodingly, the Irken worried that whatever hurt he could and ~would~ inflict upon his nemesis would be ignored or, even worse, scoffed away. ~I must find a way to mar his dim-witted self while under this repulsive infatuation..~
Sitting down in his crumbling chair, Zim simply could not understand how one single emotion, how such a little thing like love could leave a person so defenseless, so open to attack. But then again, he had thought the same about the Tristanum race; how they had seemed so frail..but he knew the results of the Irken's hastiness..
And now he was going against one of the inhabitant's of Triste. He would have to carry extra precautions for this undertaking. How was he to confront such an exceptional foe? Her disguise and demeanor created a guise of weakness...Zim had already deduced that she was trying to hoodwink him, but no mere façade had the ability to elude the high-minded alien. The corners of his mouth tugging into a cruel smirk, he wondered if the girl knew of his position, that he was fully aware of her lineage..
Oblivious to Zim's cut-throat glare, Nel was drearily staring through the skool windows, at the bleak skies that had dominated the firmament. Once in a while, she would reach over and lightly tap Dib on his shoulder, just to see his smile as he twisted around in his chair.
Nel found it too hard to concentrate now. There was so much to contemplate.
Carefully stroking her neck, the brown-eyed girl, clothed once more in her dress of periwinkle, could still hear the tenacious screams of her mother, and how she had gripped Nel so viciously, her entire body writhing in pain. She closed her eyes for a moment...just for a moment as the anguish flooded her mind. Was she free from this daily routine of suffering and misery, or had she simply been given a short reprieve?
The other person had said that her mother was gone, but for how long?
Nel slouched in her seat, as she dolefully watched the hands of the clock slowly make their way around their circular path, wondering if her life was nothing more than a loop, destined to repeat itself evermore. Refusing to sulk like a piece of dead meat, she instead straightened her back once more; her spine was becoming cramped from the drooping position she had been assuming.
~Love...I said I loved you Dib..~ she thought to herself, as a bird flew to the window sill, staring at her thoughtfully, as if it were trying to assuage her tensions. ~But..do I know that means? I-I don't want to hurt...I've hurt so many..~
She admitted that on more then one occasion, she had seriously doubted her ability to feel, and to show feelings. But she felt pain day by day, whether it was another horrible laboratory test or a simple head-ache. Nel hated to say that the only person that had shown her love had no face to her, just an empty shadow with a voice box. What good were feelings if she had no one to show them to?
But now she had this someone, a face and a voice, combined to a make a body and soul, both which inhabited a person..this boy..Dib. Smiling, Nel let her sleepy head rest on the table, wondering where these new found emotions would lead her.
Love.
Nel had never known a more precious thing.
Outside, a small hole appeared in the ceiling of grey clouds. A fragile streak of yellow sunlight shot through like a magical bullet or arrow..a single warrior battling against an angry mob. Sometimes the hole would momentarily close, shutting off the sunlight's flow, but it returned afterwards, more vibrant than ever. It was so inspiring to her! She had never before felt so alive.. treading on the edge between new feelings, both incredible and horrible..and Nel, even if she didn't...even if she ~couldn't~....admit to it, welcomed and wanted them..but more than anything, she needed them.
Need...had she ever ~needed~ anyone before..a single entity that could give her new meaning? Something other then her life inside that accursed building? Nel chuckled; she had never felt rebellious towards the scientists...it almost felt like a sort of childish liberation.
Never before, had she felt such a strong urge to be free. In the past, she had been yielding and submissive to her benefactors...to her mother. A tremble of guilt shook her conscience. No matter how much she had hated, no matter how much she had feared her mother..she was still her mother..and she had done something so atrocious to cause such an incensed hatred within that woman.
Nel shook her head as it remained on top of her folded arms. She supposed that she could never be entirely free from the blame..in some way, she was guilty till the end.
The bird flew away from its post, and Nel gave a long, drawn-out sigh.
The second hand of the mounted clock swung into home base, as the annoyingly shrill bell announced the end of an extraordinarily long school day. Dib instantly jumped to his feet, snatching up his books and haphazardly shoving them into his back pack. A thousand thoughts were littering his already cluttered head, and Dib couldn't simply concentrate on a single one. Turning around to face Nel, he immediately noticed the pensive gaze gripping her face. His smile dropped, as he let his skool supplies fall to the ground.
"Nel?" his voice rose with concern, "Are you okay?"
"Huh? Oh...yes...everything is alright.." Nel spoke in her usual, monotone voice, a whisper that only Dib could hear. But he wasn't satisfied with her response, worried that he had taken things too quickly, that she was having second thoughts. She had only known him for a few days. "Dib..."
Slowly caressing his face, that effortless touch enough to calm his mightiest fears, Dib relaxed, as they exited the classroom, an overly curious Ms. Bitters leering over them, rubbing her dry hands together menacingly.
"They're all doomed...doomed...doomed..."
By the time Dib and Nel had left the skool building, sunlight had one the better hand in its battle with the sun. Dominating the sky, Nel couldn't help but relish in the warm light as it bathed her gentle face. And Dib wanted to soak in every part of her visage, every strand of hair that became rich in color with the beaming luminosity.
He wanted her.
Her voice did things to him that no mere fantasy could cause, and he wasn't ashamed of it. How could he be? Any sane guy felt this way about a girl at some point in their life; it was only natural that Dib's time was a little earlier then most. Lonely since the death of his mother, the boy never had a soul to confide in, an ear that was willing to listen, and a heart that could share his troubles and joys.
"Um, Nel, can I ask you something..." Dib spoke in hushed tones, though they were alone. He wanted so badly to just hold her hand, but resisted, waiting until he knew he was welcome to do so....there was no way in hell that he was going to screw this up.
Walking alongside the bespectacled boy, Nel remained silent, and nodded her head in response; several locks of golden hair that had been tucked behind her ear fell out of place as she did so.
"Nel..what do you see in me...I mean, what makes you like me?" shoving his hands into the pockets of his trench coat, Dib nervously gazed at the girl out of the corner of his eye. Hesitantly, he tucked the loose strands of hair back, her oval glasses sliding down the length of her petite nose. "You don't have to answer it if you don't want to..."
"It's alright," Nel replied finally, after Dib pulled his hand away. She herself had been pondering this very same question ever since this morning, or perhaps ever since her first day of school. She knew it, the moment she had sat behind Dib, clear as day that this boy was different. He reminded her of something she couldn't quite place...Nel guessed that confusion had led her at first, but afterwards, something else had replaced it...
"Well?" Dib stopped walking, glad that Nel was willing to answer him, and wondering what she had to say. The girl also halted, slowly turning around, face composed and poised.
"Well, I didn't you noticed my form at first.." brushing invisible dust of the frock of her dress, Nel continued without making eye contact, "But there's something about you, Dib..like you would understand me better then anyone else...I like that."
"Understand you?" inquisitive about her reply, Dib lightly tapped her nose playfully, "I guess I see.."
"I'm sorry if I am confusing," Nel brought her head back up, a look of shame painted on her face. "I should be going home.."
"Actually, I was wondering if maybe you could come over to my house," Dib became anxious, hoping he hadn't turned the girl off, "No one'll be home..so you don't have to worry about my creepy sister, and my dad is never around anyway."
Nel thought about this. She was supposed to report back to the Rose Room after skool immediately. To disobey would lead to severe penalties, and Nel's face paled to the notion. But that was when her mother was there.
Did she dare take a risk, her very first risk?
Her mind screamed and called her a fool. Her heart told her to simply do what she felt was right. But did Nel know what was for the best? She had never done anything for her own sake; to be selfish now would be like becoming a different person.
Maybe that was happening already. Already she was seeing with her heart, and not her eyes.
"I'd..I'd like that," a smile cracking on her face, Nel returned to his side once more, timidly wrapping a thin arm around Dib's back. A shiver went down his spine, but he suppressed it. But in a way, he kinda liked it...
Dib felt a surge of triumph flow through him, like a spark of energy. He'd never had a ~girl~ in his house, much less his own room. Maybe..just maybe she wouldn't ridicule him and his fixation in the paranormal, not like most other girls did. But then again, Nel wasn't like most girls.
She had proven that by just talking to him, without an insult or jab. ~God~ Dib sighed, but it wasn't his usual heavy-hearted sigh, but one of bliss, ~I can't believe that was just this morning..~
As they approached the Membrane household, the blue and grey exterior impressive and daunting to the small girl, Nel found herself wordless. Her knees bordered on near collapse, and she could perceive tiny drops of wetness grow on her forehead, for she knew not what lay within this building. She felt like an explorer, entering some new cavern or diving deep into the sea, and while her excitement was growing with every step, so was her inevitable fright. Maybe that made the ordeal even more incredible.
What's forbidden always seems so tempting.
Biting her lip, she watched as Dib unlocked the front door, opening it for her. Nel forced a quick, fleeting smile before entering.
At first, Nel could hardly see anything beyond her arm's reach, as the living room was lightless, a sign that they were the house's only inhabitants. She could hear a grandfather clock slowly ticking to her right, but that was all. The silence was so thick; it was almost tangible, as if she could reach out and take it in her hand. Nel almost jumped as Dib came up from behind her, one of his thin hands quickly flicking on a table lamp.
The room was well furnished, everything neatly organized, and nothing dashed about, another sign that the house was indeed empty as Dib had claimed.
"Well, this is it..sorry it's not that much..." Dib walked into the center of the room.
But Nel wasn't paying attention to the room itself. A stirring and a yearning had been increasing since she had left skool...her id was being provoked by some imaginary force.
~Do you want to feel love, Nel..~
She gulped, curious as to what this strange feeling was, her throat becoming increasingly dry as she pretended to admire her surroundings. Clutching her hands together, Nel also realized that they had suddenly become quiet cold, even though she could hear the ceiling vents exude waves of warmth. Biting her lower lip, she looked up at Dib, and was surprised to see him acting in almost an identical manner, as he was fiddling with the tails of his coat and adjusting his glasses several times.
"So...um....d-did you want a-anything to drink?" flabbergasted by his machine-gun like stuttering, Dib almost slapped himself. He didn't want to mortify himself in his own home, but it seemed all too inevitable, for he was falling victim to sensations he never thought would cross his path. He felt uncomfortably hot and stuffy, tugging at the collar of his t-shirt, and even the spaces in between his toes were becoming inundated with sweat. Something was trying to propel him forward to some unknown destination.
For perhaps the first time in his life, Dib was actually afraid of the unknown. He didn't want to continue with this shady situation, not knowing what could happen next; he wanted to know for sure. He wanted a sense of security, but he genuinely doubted that was going to be permissible. But, like a double-edge knife, this sensation was so alluring at the same time. His feet were itching to race up the stairs with Nel, to whatever situation awaited him.
Although his vision had become almost hazed with dim-wittedness, Dib could sense Nel swiftly moving to the lamp shade, unexpectedly cutting off that sole source of light. As they were plunged into obscurity once more, Dib swore that he could see steam emitting off of his hands.
"Nel.." he gasped, the air in his lungs thin and unsupportive. But he felt a hot finger press against his lips. His eyes dilated to the size of tea saucers.
"I can't comprehend this feeling, Dib..I'm afraid..." her voice was breathy, as if she too were fighting off this undetectable, inner commotion. Nel pulled her hand away, allowing Dib to speak, but they remained locked in silence.
He suddenly took her hand into his own, as the two darkened shapes flew up the stairs like a pair of birds zipping across the night sky. Beside herself with shock and eagerness, Nel could feel Dib's pulse as her hand wrapped around one of his wrists; it felt like a tympani gone insane, and the pounding was going faster still.
And yet they did not speak, but let their hearts say every thing that needed to be said, just as they were being led by their hearts. The girl followed him with eyes that were wide and watery into a small room.
Dib turned to face Nel once they were both inside. His cheeks were flushed and moist, and when he spoke to her, his voice was ragged.
"Nel..I don't to hurt you..I never want to hurt you..." huffing, he gently clenched both of Nel's slender shoulders, tightening his grip as he ended his sentence. "Just tell me..if I'm hurting you..."
He paused, catching his breath, but found that he couldn't keep up with his heightened pulse, that he was always behind the brisk beating of his own heart. Nel looked up into his face, golden locks framing her face perfectly, and gazed longingly into Dib's eyes. The sun was already setting by this time, as that side of the world was about to be thrust into late fall. It only served to intensify the atmosphere, that low light barely creating a silhouette on the walls.
~~~~Never opened myself this way..~~~~
They leaned into one another, at first faltering, pulling back. Dib looked again into her eyes, searching for that hope, that confidence that she could give him. He pulled her closer to him, young hands tracing the willowy curve of her back, and Nel moaned in response, finally crushing her lips into his. It was forceful at first, the raw emotions unrefined and inexperienced.
Nel took the boy's face, swathed with sweat, in both of her hands, kissing him over and over. Abandoning all reason, Dib forced his tongue into her mouth, investigating all of her, and unpredictably, Nel returned the passion, that shy and quiet girl long gone. They intertwined themselves with unprecedented love, pausing only to catch their breath. When they did, Dib could feel the girl's hot breath against his neck.
After a moment, mouth still open, Nel stepped away, and Dib noticed with extreme embarrassment how aroused his entire body had become. His cheeks flushed like a fire truck's sirens. When he had collected back enough of his awareness to look back at Nel, he noticed how she was now standing next to his bed, the moon shining through the window behind her, just peering over the horizon.
~~~~Life is ours, we live it our way..~~~~
Dib gulped again, for what seemed to be the hundredth time that day. His hands were shaking violently, groping for something to hold, as Nel beckoned him over to the bed. Dib was all too happy to oblige, already tugging off his trench coat.
All he could say was her name as he rushed up to meet her, hands raking through soft, flaxen hair, tasting her skin with gentle kisses, overcome with this want and need. This time, as they kissed, it seemed to last so much longer. Their passion lingered, and a tiny voice in the back of Nel's mind was telling her to pull away, to slow this down before she did anything she could ever regret. But it was clear from the start that this was going to go so much farther than a simple kiss.
"Nel..a-are you alright..alright with this?" he stammered again, mostly from an uncontrollable tension that never seemed to die. Nel did not answer at first, but continued to kiss his lips, trailing down to his neck.
"Yes..I love you..I don't want to feel lonely.." she finally said, eyes closed as she embraced him, "I just don't want to hurt you..."
"Let me free you..set you free from your loneliness."
Fumbling with untried desire, Dib awkwardly moved his hands in the dark, desperately trying to locate and undo the buttons of her dress. Nel let out a hushed laugh, not one of ridicule, but rather a laugh of indulgence, urging him forward past this minor obstacle. She pulled his t-shirt off over his head, rustling his raven hair, and let it fall next to them as Dib finally figured out the mechanics of her periwinkle garment. It pooled at her feet, the discarded piece of fabric finally revealing Nel's vulnerable body, clothed only in a pair of white, cotton panties.
Dib felt the skin on his face crawl, his body rigid with fright as he let his eyes wander over her body..A body that was covered in scars, with one large, circular wound located in the middle of her stomach.
"What happened..." he managed to choke out in his stupor. Nel had expected this kind of response, and did not blame him for it...it was rather ghastly. Instinctively, however, she pulled both of her hands across her abdomen, covering that horrific scar.
"I'm sorry...I should have said something," Nel said, the pain plain in her soft voice.
Dib calmly laid the girl onto his bed, sitting down beside her, all while still trapped in a firm encirclement. None of his passion had left him..it had actually been increased by Nel's never-ending innocence, her eyes staring at him so openly that he almost had to look away, it was so overbearing.
She could put angels to shame.
He felt like laughing; he hadn't believed in angels..or hope for that matter...but here, right in his arms at that very moment, he had the only reason to have hope, to have ambition and inspiration. Kneeling above her, his mind was bursting with Nel's image, her hands over her head and her legs drawn up with her knees bent. Dib considered it a miracle that he hadn't fainted right then and there.
"You're beautiful...not even this could change what you truly are..."
Nel's face was radiant now, as the moon had filled the sky, floating above like some massive, opalescent pearl. As she laid there, her pale skin glowing like a star, Dib was suddenly struck with the realization that he didn't know what to do or how to act. Nel, on the other hand, seemed almost serene. So well did she hide her own fears, her worry that she would not be able to please.
~~~~All these words, I don't just say...~~~~
Jerked back into the here and now, Dib realized that Nel had stripped away her last piece of clothing, tossed aside like some unwanted afterthought. She lay there beneath him, totally submissive, giving him access to everything she was and trusting him not to shatter that. He was reminded of an exquisite porcelain figurine, one that was perfectly wrought, yet so incredibly fragile. For a while, he just looked at Nel, this girl that had just walked into his life no more then a week ago. The girl he had at one point called a pathetic individual. He wish he had never said that now...she wasn't even close to being pathetic; if anything, she was a better person than he.
Dib removed the last of his garments, shoving aside the shame he knew could only inhibit, not facilitate. Never had he felt so warm, as he placed himself on top of his Nel, this stunning girl that gave his life a whole new meaning. They were clothed now only in the warmth of one another, and that was more than enough for both of them.
Starting to kiss her again, Dib fervently let his lips travel across her landscape like a roving vagrant, feeding off of her moans and sweet voice as he kissed her neck. She pushed his lips further down, his eyelashes giving her soft butterfly kisses on her thin stomach. By this time, that little voice inside Nel's mind had been snuffed out entirely, and the flames that might have been extinguished before were now being fanned into a giant bonfire.
Spreading her legs, Dib suddenly froze as he felt Nel begin to guide him into her. That fear-reflex, that if they continued, there would be no turning back, was his only restriction, as they no longer had the barriers that clothes provided. Dib lifted his head away, his hips rigid and back slightly arched.
And there she laid, bathed in pure light, like some angel from the moon, sent down from the heavens.
And there was her gaze.
And there she was.
For him.
Every gut feeling inside Dib told him to run away, like he had so many times before in the face of his very own feelings. But the smile on Nel's face, that smile that Dib had only seen, reassured him that everything was going to be okay.
He took her hand away, and, placing a sweaty, shaky hand on her supple hips, finished the journey himself. The world about him seemed to fade out of existence, dying off like the passing fog as the two joined as one, not simply dwelling in lust, but experiencing love...
~~~~Ain't Nothing Else Matters...~~~~
[Author's Note: Well, first off, I don't own the lyrics to "Nothing Else Matters" by Metallica, my favorite song by one of my favorite bands by the way =3 I do hope that you enjoyed this very emotional chapter...and that I haven't turned too many of you guys away with this little intervention into the more sappy (and mature) aspect of Dib and Nel's relationship! Please read and review! Thanks!]