Chapter 1
Akkiko, Kat and Meg were walking along the side of a lake in Gundam Wing. Akkiko sighed.
"Now what do we do?!" She demanded. Meg shrugged.
"I have no idea." Akkiko rolled her eyes.
"Great help you are Megos." Meg growled.
"Don't call me MEGOS dammit!!" The brunette continued to chase after the raven haired girl. Kat watched this like one would watch a tennis match, munching on some popcorn that came from somewhere. Suddenly great water tendrils rose up from the lake.
"Who called on the see-through popsicles?!" Meg demanded.
"Do I look like I'm the one who did the rain dance?!" Akkiko demanded.
"Technically it would be a funnel dance." Kat said airily.
"Shouldn't we be like . . . . . . um, I don't know, drowning now?" Meg said sarcastically, on cue, the tendrils slapped onto the shore and Akkiko's last thought was
'Damnit, my underwear is gonna be itchy all day thanks to this.'
---
"Ohhhh . . . . ." Kat groaned as she rubbed her sore head, she was sitting on a very sore rump. Akkiko was standing up leaving Meg to groan and whine.
"Where the HELL are we?" Akkiko asked pleasantly. Kat sighed.
"If I knew that, I would have told you genius." She growled. Suddenly the ground rippled and a cloaked figure rose from the pits. Akkiko stared at it. Meg and Kat gaped. The figure mentally smiled as he knew that his flashy effects would affect them.
"That. . ." Meg began.
"is." Kat continued.
"The CHEESIEST ENTRANCE I HAVE EVER SEEN!!" Akkiko blurted out. The cloaked figure gave an ANIME fall. It groaned and sat up. Glaring at them he said.
"Never mind that, I have a mission for you three to complete." Akkiko raised an elegant eyebrow.
"Mission? And pray tell, what world are we in?"
"World? Oh, you mean the reality. Well I believe in your world, we are called 'The Slayers.' I think that is correct but I'm not sur-" His thoughts were interrupted as a shrill cry of
"THE SLAYERS?!?! XELLOS!!!!" Meg shrieked out jumping up and down. Akkiko sighed and smacked her forehead in exasperation.
"Looks like we have a fangirl to control K-"
"Zelgadis will be here too! YEEEEEEE!!" Kat screamed and began dancing with Meg in joy. Akkiko and the cloaked figure sweatdropped.
"Do I want to know?"
"No you don't." Akkiko replied. Turning to the figure she sighed.
"And pray tell, who are you?"
"I am . . . . the Oracle." It said in dramatic tones. Akkiko sweatdropped.
"Uh . . . . does that mean anything to me?" The figure sighed.
"Don't you watch the SLAYERS?!"
"Yeah, but I haven't the series 'Slayers Try' yet. And I figure you were introduced there! So I don't know who the HELL you are!" Akkiko said cheerfully. The Oracle sighed.
"Right. My bad. I'm the mysterious Oracle that guides Heroes and such. So I will now help you. You have come to save your respectable (wink wink nudge nudge) parents." Akkiko gaped.
"Parents?! They're still in the NORMAL world. At least they were last time I checked . . . ." Suddenly she laughed aloud. Turning to Meg and Kat she screamed
"What if our parents met THE GW BOYS?!!" She collapsed in a fit of giggles, yes Akkiko giggles.
Kat raised an eyebrow.
"Little things please little minds obviously." Akkiko grinned.
"And I'm the most insane little THING!!" Meg grinned.
"Or thingies!! Remember Zechs?" She asked grinning crazily. The others guffawed. The figure sweatdropped. He was scarred for life. Akkiko looked at the others.
"Pickle one!" The others grinned crazily.
"1, 2, 3!"
"I CAN'T OPEN THIS JAR OF PICKLES!!" All three yelled at once. Then burst out laughing. The Oracle sighed. He had to chose the insane ones didn't he? He coughed nervously. Akkiko stared.
"Okay, I've had my moment. So, whose our parents?"
"They are among some of the greatest swordsman and sorceresses." Akkiko sighed.
"Get some better lines dude."
"Let me guess, they're Lina and friends." Kat says. Meg gapes.
"How did YOU figure that out?!" Akkiko and Kat sweatdrop.
"It's kind of obvious Meg." Meg nodded looking thoughtful.
"Oh, like how that Oracle guy doesn't know who are real parents among the slayers are?" Akkiko and Kat turned to the cloaked figure wide eyed, the Oracle sweatdropped.
"IS THAT TRUE?!" Both girls demanded.
"I . . . . . uh . . . . . . . well . . . . . . . . uh . . . . yeah. That's true." He backed away nervously. Kat and Akkiko growled.
"Then you had better find out. When you do, call us." They growled out and stalked away.
"Blood will tell!!!" He yelled out suddenly. All three turned back around.
"What?" They asked.
"Blood will tell." He repeated. "Blood is the only-"
"Untainted source in a humans' body because it goes through the heart and the heart purifies it. Yeah, yeah." Kat finished blandly. The Oracle sighed.
"In other words, blood will tell."
"You're going to get us killed aren't you?" Akkiko says calmly.
"Where's the book little that says so?" The Oracle asks sarcastically.
"Right here!" Akkiko says and pulls out a book. Flips a few pages. "Here we are! AHEM! Rule number 7, section B. Anyone who says, blood will tell is probably a phony oracle thingy who has no idea what he or she is doing and will probably get you killed. He or she also wears bunny slipper under his or her cloak." Akkiko snapped the book shut with a little snap. It was a red leather book with gold trimming. Kat plucked the book out of Akkiko's hands and looked at the cover.
"Rules of life, written by the insane authoress Akkiko. Hm, it fits." Tosses book to Meg who catches it. She flips it open to page one.
"Hm, Rule number 1 section A; never let insane people have their fuel food. E.G Akkiko and Ice Tea. Or Meg and Chocolate." Kat sighs.
"Great, just keep reading it Meg."
"OKAY!" Kat groans in exasperation.
"Okay. Rule number two, section A; Never say PICKLES in front of the smurfketeers." Kat glares at Akkiko when hearing this.
"AKKIKO!! I AM NOT A SMURFKETEER!!"
"Rule number 3, section A; do not let Kat read rule number 2 section A, she will retaliate by saying;
'I am not a smurfketeer' and continue to give death threats to our authoress." Kat sweatdrops.
"WHY YOU LITTLE-!!" Goes after Akkiko, arms out stretched and little claws growing on fingers.
"Oh crap!" Runs away, Kat in tow. Oracle sighs.
"Ugh. Need CAFFEINE!! COFFEE!!!" Meg yells out, stomach continues to growl, she falls to ground in a puddle. Oracle shrugs, hands a steaming cup to Meg.
"Here, I hate coffee anyway." Meg's eyes are replaced by little twinkles. She takes cup and swallows it in one gulp. Akkiko stops suddenly and Kat crashes, head first into her back, Akkiko doesn't even notice.
"I suddenly have a very bad feeling." She says and gulps. Meg runs past screaming
"I AM THE DRAMA QUEEN!!!!" As she flies past she drops mug. Kat picks it up and sniffs the aroma given off. She blanches and turns to Oracle.
"There are currently three world destroying demons in existence." She says pleasantly. "YOU JUST GAVE CAFFEINE TO ONE OF THEM!!!!" (A/N: Thanks Meg for this line) Kat yells angrily. Oracle sweatdrops.
"It's not my fault! I didn't know!!" Akkiko yells at him
"You're the ORACLE!! THEY KNOW EVERYTHING!!"
"Well, they're supposed to anyway." Kat comments.
"Aw whatever! Look, just tell me who our parents are and stop acting like it's some great big BEEPING-" She was cut off as the Oracle waved a hand and the three girls vanished. He sank to the floor tiredly.
"Talk about your tough audiences."
---
Lina was walking down the path, her friends in tow. Xellos smiled. Lina glared at him.
"Who is this person you said was looking for me?" Xellos grinned.
"Well now, that's a-"
VEEP!!
THUD!!
The gang looked up JUST in time to see three bodies plummeting towards them.
"SECRET!!" One of them yelled. (A/N: Refer to Akkiko's last line if you don't get it.) Akkiko landed dazedly on Xellos, who feebly echoed
" . . . secret . . ." Gourry was pinned to the ground by a dazed looking brunette. While Amelia got crushed by an angry looking girl. Lina looked them over.
"Um, who are you?" Kat and Meg snapped to life. They looked at each other, then at Akkiko, then back at each other.
"Oh crap." They said in unison. Akkiko struck, once more, a manly position and said
"I am Akkiko! The DEMONCHILD!! LORD OF DESTRUCTION!!" Lightening, as usual forked out behind her. Lina sweatdropped. Gourry pointed, Meg still sat on him.
"She reminds me of that brassracket guy." Zelgadis nodded.
"You know, she does remind me of him." Akkiko stopped and looked at them glaring.
"I AM NOT A BALD OLD MAN!!" She screeched. Kat grinned.
"Akkiko's an old man!!!" Meg and Kat began to sing
"Akkiko's an old man, Akkiko's an old ma-EEP!" Both were tackled as Akkiko jumped on them.
"SHUDAP!" Lina sweatdropped.
"So um, who are you?" Kat looked up and grinned, her face slightly squashed by Akkiko's foot!
"I am . . . . . . . KAT THE DARK ANGEL!!! QUEEN OF CHAOS!!!" Meg looked at Kat.
"Aren't you the Were-Kat?" Kat shrugged.
"It's the 21st century, let's get with the times. I UPGRADED!!"
"Whenever you say that, I think of Warcraft." Akkiko mumbled. Gourry sat up and grinned.
"What nice little three girls you are." Silence. Suddenly, the skies darkened. Lightening flashed. Lina looked up.
"Okay, did someone do a rain dance?" Sylphiel gulped.
"I don't think so . . . ." Amelia said. Kat stood up and glared, Meg got up and turned to look at Gourry, who quivered.
"Uh, did I do something?"
"We." Akkiko began.
"Are not." Kat continued.
"LITTLE GIRLS!!" Meg shrieked, they dove into attack him. And might I add, sprouting, wings, cat ears, tails and just about anything that marks a demon. BWA HAHAHAHAHA!! Lina stared sweatdropping.
"Should we help?" Zelgadis thought.
"Hmm . . . no." After the trio was done mauling Gourry, they all retracted demon like parts. Kat suddenly looked around and gaped.
"ZELGADIS!!!" She squealed and glomped the chimera who sweatdropped. Meg jumped onto Xellos squealing
"CUTIE!!!" Akkiko sighed, unlike Gundam Wing, there were no cute guys here. Damn. Suddenly her cell rang.
"Hello? Oh, hiya Yu-Gi. Yeah, Kat must've turned her cell off. So what's new?" Kat stopped to stare at her.
"Yu-Gi? What's my brother want now?" Akkiko commented
"Actually Yami's your brother. Yu-Gi's just his reincarnation." Meg had little spirals for eyes.
"Head hurts . . . . . . . . so lost. . . . . ." Akkiko returned to her conversation.
"Um no, we're not in mortal danger. No, we're not killing people, no we're not in a life threatening situations if you don't count glomping swordsman and sorcerers." Suddenly yells erupted from the receiver.
"WHAT?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN-!!!" Akkiko put her hand over the ear piece.
"I don't think he took that well." Akkiko said sweatdropping. Kat sighed and grabbed the phone.
"Y- . . . . . ." Is cut off as Yami, who switched with Yu-Gi the minute he heard Akkiko say that, continues to yell. "Y- . . . . . . ." She tries again. Sighs, and yells out
"YAMI!" Yells stop.
"What is it?" Yami asks. Kat rolls her eyes.
"Never mind." Suddenly, Meg grabbed the phone and yelled into it
"ALL HAIL THE MUFFIN!!!" In Domino, Yami held the phone, about a meter away from his ear and had one eye closed as he winced. Putting a finger in his ear and squeaking it, he muttered
"I think I've gone deaf." Kat grabbed the phone back from Meg.
"Yami can you hear me?!"
"Eh?" The boy said. Kat sighed.
"MEEEEEEEGGGGGGG!!! You've made another person go deaf." Meg grinned.
"YEES!! Fifth person this week!!!" Meg then yelled out "THE COOKIE RULES ALL!!!!" Akkiko swore.
"What's with all the PASTRY?!" Yami sweatdropped.
"I'll call back later . . . . . as soon as I get some hearing aids." With that, he hung up. Suddenly the three girls noticed that the Slayers gang were staring at them, as if they were completely crazy, which is true!!! Akkiko nodded.
"Yep." Lina opened her mouth and began to speak, the three of them caroling along with her.
"You three are completely insane, scary, obsessed, weird, and just plain creepy. Not to mention that you seem to have a fondness of hurting people and scarring them for life. Not to mention I think you like to blow things up, cause mass mayhem, and give demonic laughs." On cue, all three yelled out
"BWA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!" Suddenly, Akkiko ran off into the forest. Everyone looked after her. Several minutes passed, and then there was a nice big
KABLAMO!!!
Akkiko came back dusting her hands off.
"Well lets see, that's the demonic laugh, and there's blowing something up, what left?!" She asked cheerfully. Kat and friends ran to see what Akkiko had blown up. Amelia gaped.
"DADDY?!" Akkiko looked over her shoulder.
"Whoops. Sorry 'bout that highness." Looking away she mumbled. "Not good, I've just injured a mountain bandit." Kat smiled lightly, sweatdropping.
"That mass mayhem thing is sounding good now." She said, and all three began to tip toe away. When they were a good distance away, Meg stretched.
"Heh heh, Xellos rules all." She said grinning wickedly.
"Zelgadis is cuter!" Kat snapped.
"No, Xellos!"
"Zelgadis is the hottie chimera!"
"Xellos is the cute monk!"
"HOT CHIMERA!"
"CUTE MONK!"
"ZELGADIS!"
"XELLOS!"
"ZELGADIS!!" Akkiko, who had been ignoring them, suddenly whipped her head back to face the other two girls.
"By the way, who are we saving our supposed parents from?" Kat and Meg suddenly came to a dead halt.
"Saving?! CRAP!! I FORGOT ALL ABOUT THAT!!!" Kat yelped, spun around and raced back. Meg stared.
"Saving? Saving what?" Then she remembered too. "OH NO!!!" She chased after Kat, Akkiko followed behind confused. Meg was in front of her, and yelled;
"I can't run in these shoes!!! Slow down!!" She swore vividly. Akkiko yelled in reply;
"Then just FLY!!" Meg sighed.
"I can't DO that Akkiko!! Flying around like that is like a freelance to attack me." Akkiko sighed.
"Right, right. My bad." The three ran on, coming into the clearing they gaped. Amelia's dad was gone, craters lined the area, and Gourry lay face down on the road. Amelia and Zelgadis weren't moving. Xellos's staff was lying on the ground, Akkiko picked it up slowly, Lina and Slyphiel weren't anywhere to be found.
"Oh no, we're too late." Akkiko murmured. Kat sniffed. Meg howled her shock. Suddenly Lina came stomping in the clearing, right past a wide eyed trio of girls. Gourry groaned a bit. Zelgadis stirred. Amelia sat up.
"Miss Lina, was the really necessary?" Slyphiel asked. "I know you're hungry, but you didn't have to go into a food rampage and shoot off fire spells."
WHUMP!!!!
The ground shook as Akkiko, Meg, and Kat all did an Anime fall.
"S-she went into a FOOD RAMPAGE????" Meg demanded. Akkiko had propped her head on her hand and her finger slowly tapped the ground, she was sweatdropping. Kat jumped up and grabbed Lina's shirt and pulled her in, their faces were so close that Lina could smell Kat's breath, quite minty.
"You got us all sad and upset . . . . . . OVER FOOD?!??" Lina gulped.
"Uh, I, well . . . . ." Kat snarled, little flames shooting from her nose. Akkiko whistled in awe.
"Wow Kat, you do a good impression of anger."
"THIS ISN'T AN IMPRESSION!!!" Kat shouted. Akkiko stared.
"Oh . . . . RUN FOR THE HILLSSSSS!!!!!!" She screamed and dove behind Xellos. Meg yelped and dove behind Zelgadis. The two men looked at each other, then at the cowering girls, then at each other, both sweatdropped. Amelia ran up and put a hand between the two girls, one, who was fuming, the other, who was sweatdropping.
"Miss Lina, Miss-! Miss . . . . . . . . . . Miss . . . . . . . . . ."
"Muller." Meg supplied helpfully. Amelia nodded her head in thanks.
"Miss Lina!! Miss Muller!! Calm down!!" Suddenly, a bolt of lightening flashed out from nowhere. Akkiko yelped. Xellos flared his cape.
"Don't worry!! I'll protect-!" He never finished, Akkiko jumped out right into the path of the bolt laughing happily, like a child in a candy shop, which is not good.
"Dangerous magic! YAAAAYY!!!" Xellos, Lina and friends all gaped. Kat pushed Akkiko out of the way.
"MINE!!" Meg pushed Kat out of the way.
"NO!! MINE!!" She reached her hand out. The three of them began to fight for possession of the thunder, while it drawed ever so closer. It struck them dead on, fried demon anyone?
---
"I HATE THIS PLACE!!!" Akkiko yelled. "There's no action, no destruction, no cute guys, no playstation and above all else . . . . . . . . NO ICE TEA!!!! WWWAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Meg and Kat looked at each other.
"YYYYYEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!" Akkiko looked sourly at Meg.
"Well they don't have coffee either, so HAH!" Meg came to a dead stop. Kat rolled her eyes.
"Look what you've done Akkiko."
"N-no coffee?" Meg whispered. Akkiko grinned evilly.
"Not a drop." Meg turned to her, her eyes were quaky, with tears brimming on the lids, she looked lost.
"B-but the world cannot survive without coffee!!" Akkiko smiled.
"Well, they don't have coffee here." Meg stared, eyes wide. She shrieked in horror, then ran off to a little dark corner and got that little blue air around her where she had blue lines streaking down. She was still and silent with her back turned to them and she was cuddled into a little ball, Xellos, one eye open, held his hair back so he could hear her murmuring.
"No coffee, not possible. No coffee, not possible. No coffee, not possible. No coffee, not possible . . . . . ." Xellos stood up and shook his head.
"We've lost her." Kat grabbed the front of Akkiko's shirt and began to punch the girl on the head.
"What did you do that for?! Now we'll have to drag her around!!! AGAIN!!!" Akkiko jumped away and hid behind a passerby.
"Leave me alone!!!"
"Uh . . . what are you doing?!" A voice asked pleasantly. Akkiko looked up, paled, her eyes widened and she jumped back with a yelp.
"What?!" Kat and the others yelled, Meg was still in her little dark corner.
"GAY GUY ALERT!!" She stammered out. Everyone turned on her.
"WHAT?!" They yelped.
". . . is that YOU Lala?" A cooing voice suddenly asked. Gourry yelped and hid behind Meg shivering.
"Save me, save me, save me, save me . . ." He repeated over and over in fear. With good reason. Volun walked up, hearts for eyes, clasping his hands in front of his chest he smiled dreamily.
"Oh Miss Lala! I've missed you so!" Even Akkiko was scared, this was big. She quickly scooted away to hide behind Xellos. He raised his eyebrow at her.
"You aren't afraid of lightening bolts, angry sorceresses, or angry dark angels, but you're scared of a guy with questionable love interests?" Akkiko looked up at him from her cowering spot.
"I have no problem with the questionable love interests. It's THIS guy I'm scared of! Did you SEE that room on the boat?! THE PINKNESS!! AUGH!" And she fell over in a dead faint. Kat squeaked when Volun looked at her, Meg was long gone, hiding behind Zelgadis.
"Why Lala, is that you're daughter?" He suddenly gasped. "You've been CHEATING ON ME??" He burst into tears.
"Now that is quite enough." A harsh voice snapped, and suddenly, a large fire ignited beneath Volun, sending him flying. There was a snort of amusement, and as the party turned to look at their savior, Akkiko was the only one who blanched, being the only one who knew who their savior was. "Insane as ever aren't you?" A soft and sinister voice asked. Meg, Kat, Akkiko, and the Slayer's gang spun around to find a woman clad mainly in black, including skin hugging pants, long sleeve shirt, and a black cape. Long hair which reached her waist and tied back with a bandanna around her forehead. She had a sword and daggers on her belt, while she had tri-points in her boots and she had ninja tacks in her side pouch. Kat sweatdropped.
"Over doing it on the armor aren't you?" The girl laughed.
"Ask Akkiko, she imagined me." Everyone whirled on Akkiko, who twiddled her fingers around and blushed.
"Well, Kat's not the only one with an imaginary world . . . . . ."
"So, who are you?" Kat asked her.
"Well, basically Akkiko pretends that she resides in my body and therefore we are one and the same. I am the most powerful sorceress in creation, born with the power of every god. The chosen to lead the world to salvation." Meg whistled.
"Well Akkiko, at least when you imagine, you imagine big." Akkiko smiled.
"My characters are all mighty and powerful, like most, but they have tragic pasts and I find inventive ways for them to be powerful!! Like that guy Ray-"
"She'll go on forever if you let her." The girl interrupted. "Enough chat, down to business. My name is Kissana Antasac. Simple explanation, I'm here, because I have to help you."
"You have to?" Kat quoted.
"Yes, I HAVE to."
"Whose making you?" Meg wanted to know. Kissana's eye twitched.
". . . Akkiko's boyfriend. Jocose." Akkiko grinned.
"Aww. . . . is he giving you a hard time?"
"If hard time can be defined as screaming in my ear and waking me up at 4am with foghorns, then yes, he is giving me a hard time." Suddenly a boy came up and laid a hand on Kissana's shoulder.
"C'mon baby, wrap up the whole thing so we can spend time together."
WHAP!!
Kissana socked the boy and growled, a little vein throbbing.
"Erikson, just cause we're working together doesn't mean I like you. In fact, this may come as a shock, but I hate you." Kat gaped.
"You're working together?!" Kissana sighed.
"Pity me." Akkiko sighed.
"Okay, so how are we involved in THIS world?" Kissana smiled sourly.
"I thought you knew."
"If I knew, I wouldn't be asking San." Akkiko growled. Kissana laughed.
"She's creepy . . ." Kat hissed to Meg.
"No. Shit."
"It's rather simple." Kissana began. "You have to save your parents, from a man I think you'll have no problem killing Akkiko." She said easily.
"Who?" Kissana smirked.
"You only need to know this. Your enemy, is the darkness within your heart."
Disclaimer: Not mine, haha, I own plot, and such. Later! OH! And Kissana, Kissana is mine.