TUESDAY
"Don't walk so fast, Sousuke. Show a little consideration." Kaname's exclamation was echoed by Kyouko, Mizuke, Ryo, and Maya.
Ren just smiled. She knew that Sousuke was simply moving at his normal speed.
"I apologize. But I do not need a human shield, Kaname." Sousuke looked at the girls forming a ring around him.
Kaname's guilt had manifested itself big time.
"I see. Is that how you show your gratitude?" Kaname stomped her foot. She shook a fist at Sousuke.
"Maybe we should form a wall between Kaname and Sousuke...." Ryo quipped.
"No way!" Maya said, pretending to get dizzy. "THAT would be dangerous."
"The sentiment is officially acknowledged, Kaname. However, by placing yourselves in close proximity to Ground Zero..……." Sousuke was interrupted.
SMACK!!!
"Owww..... Kaname, that hurt." Sousuke rubbed his head.
"'GROUND ZERO,' Sousuke???" Kaname was correct, Sousuke had lapsed into mil-speak.
"By placing yourself close to me...." Sousuke waited, looking at the halisen.
"Go on, Sousuke…….."
It was like walking on a razor: if Sousuke unconsciously used military terms he would be in trouble. But, if he took too long to answer, he would be in even bigger trouble.
"....You place yourself in danger." Sousuke cringed ever so slightly. He had said the word 'danger.'
Ren stuck her hand up and grabbed Kaname's wrist.
Kaname nodded.
No need to jump the gun.
"HMMMPPPFFF!!!" Kaname laughed her usual raucous laugh.
"Do not be such a moron, Sousuke. What possible trouble can we run into on the way to homeroom?" A number of the others girls chuckled with her.
"Ready...."
"Aim...."
"FIRE!!!"
Three boys armed with large fire extinguishers pulled the pins, squeezed the handles, and pointed the nozzles towards Sousuke.
Amazingly enough, the girls did end up protecting him.
He was completely clean.
The girls, on the other hand, each looked like they had fallen into a vat orfwhipped cream. Foam fell of them onto the floor, making a sodden and strange plopping noise.
Shinji, given the task of being one of the photographers for Cultural Day, had just put a fresh roll in his camera. He soon found him snapping picture after picture. He got a great shot of the three other boys with an uncoiled fire hose. That, and shots of the girls being blasted down the hallway by the strong stream of water.
When they regained their feet, the girls growled like a pack of wild dogs.
The boys soon learned the error of their ways in a manner they would not soon forget. Sousuke grabbed Kaname's arms as she made an effort to run past him.
"Kaname, you should not resort to violence. Is that not the lesson you are trying to teach me?"
Kaname whistled to Ryo and pointed to a large wheel.
She then placed the nozzle of the fire hose down Sousuke's pants.
She gave Ryo a 'thumbs up.'
Smiling, Ryo dialed in maximum water pressure.
Shinji needed another new roll of film.
x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x
When Sousuke sat down at his desk, a large amount of squid fell out of his desk.
He looked over at Mizuki.
She shrugged her shoulders. She hadn't done it. She had dealt with more than enough squid to last a lifetime back when Sousuke and his Mithril buddies secretly got revenge on Kaname's behalf..
"Hey, Sagara." It was the rugby team club captain. "I gotta say you are taking this like a champ. Not everyone would have the balls to do that. Most would just squirt some tears and run back to Mama." He patted Sousuke on the back. "Because of that, we gave your name to the Principal. You're now part of the Rugby team. See you for Thursday's game."
He neglected to mention that they had forged Sousuke's signature.
Across the room, Kaname had no way of knowing the boy had taped a 'KICK ME, I DON'T HAVE ANY WEAPONS' sign to Sousuke's back.
At one point, a group of boys stole Sousuke's book bag for a moment.
Sousuke remained seated.
A little while later, the bag found its way back, flung across the room. The back of Sousuke's head stopped it. Checking to see what if any damage or vandalism had been done, Sousuke noted that one of his textbooks looked thicker.
He took it out and flipped through the pages.
Someone had taped a lot of extra material in the book.
The teacher noticed Sousuke's face. The boy was sweating heavily. Wanting to make certain that his student wasn't sick, he walked over. His eyes widened when he saw the altered book.
"Mr. Sagara, I am shocked. I had not figured you for one who would carry out such an egregious affront to your female classmates."
All of the girls looked at Sousuke, wondering what he had done this time.
"I thought you studied at night with someone." The teacher looked around the room for a show of hands.
"Miss Chidori, Sir." Sousuke looked over at Kaname.
"Does she look at your book at night?" The teacher was now staring at Kaname, too. "I had not judged her to be one to promote such material."
"I rarely handle the book, Sir. She reads the questions to me." Sousuke nodded.
The teacher's mouth dropped open.
"What is it Sousuke?" Kaname didn't like the direction the teacher's accusations had taken. "Let me see that book." She took it from Shinji, who had taken it from Sousuke.
Kaname opened the book back up. She turned pale. The book fell from her hands, landing open to one of the new pages.
Someone had gathered up girlie magazine centerfolds and taped them into Sousuke's book.
"SOUSUKE!!!" Kaname shouted, despite the fact that the teacher was standing nearby.
"Yes Kaname?"
"What is going on here?" Kaname fought hard to think logically. This was obviously not Sousuke's doing. "Doesn't this all strike you as a little bit odd?" Kaname was hoping Sousuke would claim innocence, clearing her in the process.
"Yes, Kaname!"
"Good. Why don't you tell everyone what you find odd?"
That ought to do it.
"Their chests are so very large. Is that truly possible? How much exercise is needed to become so huge?" Sousuke gulped.
For a moment, the room was so quiet you could hear a pin drop.
The smarter students kneeled down and hid under their desks. It was something like the Duck-And-Cover drills used in the States during the 50s and 60s.
"AHHH! B-A-K-A-!!! "
Kaname's halisen sent Sousuke out of the upper story window.
There was a loud crashing noise.
A pulley squeaked as the window washer lifted Sousuke a short distance to his classroom. A bucket sat on his head. His clothes were drenched.
"So those pictures did get you wet! We didn't know you had it in you, Sagara." One of the boys on the soccer team slapped hands with his friend.
The classroom erupted in laughter.
The teacher did not find things funny at all.
"Miss Chidori, you will be on eraser detail today. Mr. Sagara, I will get to you and your punishmentlater." The teacher looked around the room for guilty faces. Everyone smiled like an angel.
He had finally realized that someone other than Sousuke had rigged the book.
"Well, if we have no one brave enough to step forward and admit ownership of this prank, I will just have to confiscate this book." The book made its way home with him later that night.
"Attention please." The teacher his fist down on Sousuke's desk. "Before we get to our lesson for today, I will assign the topics for your upcoming science projects."
The teacher went through the list of projects. Sousuke's assignment was the last one to be called out.
"Mr. Sagara, you will write a paper on the following topic: 'The use of suppositories in large herbivores---a comparative study.' I suggest you visit the city zoos. I expect you to record evidence of your research." He paused, looking down at Sousuke. "This should provide you with a good opportunity for hands on study."
"You mean hands in, don't you?" One of the girls asked.
Everyone laughed so hard they almost broke out in tears.
One boy fell out of his chair.
Kaname looked over at Sousuke with a sneer on her face. She was not feeling sorry for him at the moment.
Anything but.
She smiled.
That should be 'anything butt.'
x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x
Once again, Sousuke had to run the gauntlet of endless small tricks and trials.
He never showed even the slightest bit of anger or irritation.
A live lobster was waiting for him in his locker, claws at the ready. He was jumped in the restrooms and pelted with a barrage of wet paper towels. One teacher found him taped to the blackboard in the classroom.
The rugby squad filled his shirt full of candy and used him as a pinata.
"We always knew you were a…… sweet…… guy," one of the boys quipped. "Yeh. It's really nice, you given us candy like this...." Another laughed. "And letting us hit you with broom handles!" They all laughed together.
"It is not a problem." Sousuke had been through much worse.
"I think this is way beyond too much!" It was Kaname. Someone had told her what was going on.
"Let him down, or the Principal will hear about it."
She was alone.
She hadn't thought to gather up her friends.
"O, and who is going to tell him, Miss Class Rep?" The team members all surrounded Kaname.
"I think you'll be too busy, giving us kissing lessons...." The look on the one player's face was anything but friendly.
"WHAT???" Kaname was beginning to get worried. They were probably just trying to scare her.
Probably.
"Sure, it will be educational for Senor Sagara as well. He'll get to see how real men act with women." The guys all gave each other high fives.
Kaname looked over at Sousuke.
She knew that he could slip out of those ropes in an instance if he needed to. He showed no sign of being ready for action. His eyes were concerned, but nothing more.
"What's going on here?" A teacher walked up.
The boys began walking away. Shinji had seen what was going on and went for help.
"Are you alright, Mr. Sagara?" The teacher noticed the bruising on Sousuke's face.
"I am fine. All I need is to be unbound."
After the teacher had untied Sousuke, he headed back on his errand. Sousuke was left standing alone with Kaname.
"Sousuke, I'm sorry. I'm s-o-o-o-o sorry…." Kaname bit her lip. She wondered how many times she would have to apologize this week.
"Do not worry yourself over me, Kaname. Be more concerned for yourself. It appears you do not wish me to speak about danger and threats. You should therefore think on such topics yourself."
"I will, Sousuke. Believe me, I will." Kaname pushed a strand of hair away from her face.
"I will now go outside and eat my lunch. I do not wish to irritate the janitor any further."
"Sousuke, there is something I want you to do first." Kaname's face was intense.
"Kaname?"
"When you write down your entry in your logbook, put a big red circle around those guys. I want to be sure that they get what's coming to them. If I can, I would like to help!" Kaname clenched her fists.
"Affirmative. I enjoy doing things with you, Kaname."
Kaname blushed.
x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x
As it turns out, the janitor had more than enough grudges to settle with Sousuke.
The sesame sauce on the cafeteria floor was merely a minor irritant. The memory of his beloved carp still haunted him from time to time.
The odd looking man did not strike Sousuke. He did not dip him in a vat of cleaning solution. He did not slop water on his shoes with a mop.
"You will come with me over the lunch break," the man said. "I often miss my afternoon meal when I have to clean up after one of your escapades."
"It is not a problem." Sousuke considered the man's statement to be an order.
Most students would have been ready to scream after doing what Sousuke did next. Sousuke merely took everything in stride, learning what he could.
The janitor took Sousuke on a tour of all of his facilities, babbling on endlessly about the effectiveness of one cleaner or another. He described just how much work it took to mop up or scrub up after bombs…… food fights…… fire extinguisher battles…… and the like.
He and Sousuke both spent time removing new graffiti about Sousuke off of the school walls.
"I thank you for your instruction, Sir."
Sousuke's response caught the janitor by surprise.
"Well, young man. Any time you want to learn more about the janitorial profession, my door is open. I always have a spare mop ready." The janitor actually smiled.
He decide that he didn't need to oil up his chainsaw after all.
"That is good to hear. Miss Chidori causes sizeable messes herself on occasion. I think this tour would be of benefit for her too. She has already shown skills in matters of trash removal."
"Good. I'll talk to the Principal about it...." The janitor promised that to Sousuke asthe young soldierheaded off for Cultural Day.
x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x
A large stage had been set up in the gymnasium.
A sea of folding chairs surrounded it.
Banners hung everywhere, telling about the background of Jindai and the history of Japan.
In one corner, Sousuke had been hung in effigy.
The first presentation of the day was put on by a group of professional musicians. They performed a program of Japanese cultural music, using three general classes of instruments: percussion, stringed, and wind. A number of unusual instruments, including bells used in Buddhist ceremonies, were also demonstrated.
Thunder filled the room when the huge Odaiko drums were played. The noise covered up the tricks played on Sousuke. The sound of taiko drums drowned out Kaname's shouts at the pranksters.
Smaller hourglass-shaped kotsuzumi and otzusumi drums were also used. One girl took a pair of chopsticks and atarted to mimic the beat on Sousuke's head. Kaname beat a lively tune on her with the halisen.
Sousuke had a brief respite while the players demonstrated the 13-string koto and the 3-string shamisen.
The biwa, a short-necked lute, was also shown, as it would later be played by one of the Jindai students during a puppet show. The visitors explained that the instrument was once played by blind monk entertainers.
The most famous type of flute shown was the shakuhachi bamboo flute. Imported from China in the distant past, it had become associated with Buddhist 'Priests of Nothingness.' A number of students shouted that Sousuke should embrace Nothingness: it was their way of saying the school might be a more peaceful place if he wasn't there.
Nokan, takebue, and shinobue flutes were also played.
After the professionals showed their skills, students versed in the traditional instruments gave a short recital of their own. They would perform larger pieces on Wednesday.
Next up was the Bunraku, the Japanese puppet theater.
It was closer in style to Punch and Judy than Pinnochio. There were no strings, as performers are hidden behind a curtain. The puppets were large……. about one half life size……. And each was operated by three students.
In professional plays, the topics are usually historical and deal with the common Japanese theme of girl and ninjo: the conflict between social obligations and human emotions.
To many Japanese, Chikamatsu's 'Love Suicides at Sonezaki' were of equal stature with Romeo and Juliet.
The play had been written by a number of students. Others had made costumes for the rented puppets. The storyline had been kept a secret from everyone.
Many of the students were restless at the start. Their generation didn't have much exposure to this type of performance.
Their attitude soon changed.
The musume……. maiden puppet head……. was strangely familiar. It wore a scowl and had long blue hair, rather than the intricate hair style seen in most traditional women.
The bunshichi……. warrior puppet head……. had short scraggly hair and a cross-shaped scar on one cheek.
"Hey, are those Kenchin and Karyou?" One of the Gundam fanatics shouted out.
He was pelted with shoes.
It was official.
There was at least one person in the school more clueless than Sousuke.
"Kaname, I believe the one is supposed to be you. But, the chest is too large. The posterior is too small. Should I point this out to them?" Sousuke's comment had everyone snickering.
Sousuke flew back over two rows of seats, courtesy of the halisen.
From where she stood, Kaname replied. "The warrior puppet is different that you, too, Sousuke. It doesn't feel pain. It can be repaired."
Often enough, art imitates life.
The opening part of the Bunraku had the maiden take a large paper object and repeatedly beat the warrior. Soon after that, the misadventures of the two were depicted in frenetic detail.
The warrior mistook a new hairdo as a wild animal attacking. He sliced it with his samurai sword. The warrior thought a kimono sash was a snake and cut it in two. The maiden was naked underneath. The maiden sung a song of longing and readied herself for a kiss. The warrior kissed his sword.
On and on it went.
The show was so popular, the presenting students promised to write another one. Kaname promised herself that the presenters would get the 'dirty jobs' at the remainder of that school year's events.
The final show for the day would be Kabuki.
As it was not a military topic, Sousuke was able to give some of the background history to his fellow students. He recalled word for word an article he had read about the topic during one long flight to the South China Sea.
"Early performances had been all-female, due to their sensual nature." Sousuke scratched his head for a moment. "Kaname……. what does sensual mean?"
Kaname put her face in her hands.
She chose her words carelessly.
"Not now, Sousuke. I'll tell you later."
The oohs and ahhs from her classmates made her blush.
"Thank you, Kaname. No doubt your lesson will be as thorough as always." Sousuke wondered why Kaname sank down into her chair. "The performers were prostitutes, and male audiences often got out of control."
"YEH!!! Let's have some of that today!" One of the boys shouted.
"Kaname, is your character---" Sousuke wasn't able to finish that question.
Kaname winced. Her foot was sore after booting Sousuke in the belly.
Sousuke coughed a few times before resuming. "The young male performers who took over for the women were---ironically--- prostitutes themselves."
At that, a number of wrestlers started calling out the name of the rugby player who had given the apple to Sousuke.
A small riot threatened to break out.
Even in such a simple task, Sousuke had the unenviable potential to incite civic unrest.
"Later, older actors became more common, and more formalized and strictly theatrical dramas were enacted. Kabuki is performed on a large revolving stage with scenic backdrops and tricks such as trapdoors for surprise entrances. Kamite---stage left---is often where the important characters will be found. Standard male roles include the handsome lover..."
"Kiss him, Kaname!" Someone yelled out.
It was Mizuki, her attempt to conceal her voice failed. Kaname went to pay her a brief visit.
"...Or the handsome hero..."
"Kiss him twice, Kaname." Shinji was smart enough to run.
"...Or the evil samurai..."
"KICK HIM IN THE NUTS."
That came from the entire rugby team. Kaname put her hand on her chin, pondering.
"Roles for the female characters included the high-ranking samurai lady..."
"Grab her, Sagara!" That came from one of the wrestlers.
"Kaname?" Sousuke asked.
"Moron!" Sousuke was pushed over his chair.
"I shall resume. High ranking samurai lady... or virtuous young maiden..."
"That lets Chidori out!" When the crowd pointed out the perpetrator, he high-tailed it out of the gym.
"...And a wicked woman."
Nobody said anything.
It was dead quiet.
Everybody was staring at Kaname.
"WHAT?!!" Kaname huffed. She tapped the halisen on her arm.
"Nothing." "I didn't say anything." "I had something in my eye." "It was him…"
Everybody spoke up at once.
"Traditional Kabuki is highly melodramatic...." Sousuke continued, paying little attention to the fear on his classmates' faces.
Everybody looked at Kaname again, but quickly looked at the ceiling or their fingernails when she glared at them.
"...Nut, it is strictly historical. Like Shakespeare's works, the characters in the plays and stories are often familiar to the audience." Finished, Sousuke went to sit down again.
He was prevented by one of the students who wrote this play.
"Sousuke, you need to come down with us to get in costume." The girl fought hard to keep from smiling.
"But, I have had no opportunity to practice!" Sousuke was not one for performing.
"It's OK, Sousuke. It's all in good fun" Kaname said, trying to reassure him.
"I'm glad you feel that way. We need you too, Kaname." That came from a boy carrying bundles of costumes.
"WHAT?!" Kaname's voice carried across the huge room.
"It is not a problem," Sousuke said. "It is all in good fun."
"WHO ASKED YOU!" Sousuke tumbled down to the stage area.
The play was a historical drama, depicting one of the greatest battle in the history of ancient Japan.
Sousuke and Kaname need not have worried about their spoken lines---they had none.
Sousuke was the back half of a costume horse. Kaname was put in front of him.
The warrior 'riding' Sousuke took great glee in swatting the horse's rump with his sword. Sousuke was even more black-and-blue by the end of the performance than he was before they started.
Kabuki might be a dying art form amongst the younger generation, but the students loved that performance.
They wanted an encore.
With the horse.
"I always knew Sagara was a horse's ass!" One of the rugby players was looking for attention.
"Hey Sagara, how's the view in there?" One of the swimmers shouted out.
"It is not unpleasant..." Sousuke's muffled voice replied
"SOUSUKE!!!" That shout came from the other end. No one could see Kaname blush.
The rear part of the horse came flying off. Sousuke fell down a trap door that one of the girls hadconveniently opened.
"Hmmmpppfff!!!" Kaname grunted. "Leave him in there."