Disclaimer: I don't own ER, the characters or anything else.

Chapter Three: Tragic Flaws and Memories

"Okay." Susan said, using every ounce of her resolve to say it with composure. Neela didn't reply, and Susan knew she had returned to the waiting room. This is real now. She thought. How could my screwed up family have done this? Splashing some water on her face she inhaled and then let it out. "Okay." She said to her reflection.

Walking down the hall she could see the small crowd gathered around Elizabeth. The smell of the hospital had never been so nauseating, the impersonal feeling never so cruel. They spent their lives their, their hard work and dedication filled every part of the building, and it felt so empty and uncomforting. She continued to get closer and the words that Elizabeth were saying were becoming clear and understandable.

"Susan." Elizabeth said as she placed her hand on her shoulder. "I'll start over."

"No it's okay, just continue." The less details she heard at this point the better.

"There was a complication with the repairs we tried to make."

"That's why the surgery was so long?" Neela asked.

"Yes, she lost a lot of blood. We had to give her two transfusions. We were able to repair the damage to her liver, we had to remove one of her kidneys."

"What about…"

"The other bullet missed her aorta and there weren't any complications in repairing her heart and lungs." Elizabeth fell silent for a moment as she breathed deeply. "You all know…" This was the part she hadn't wanted to say.

"Because of the blood loss and complications there is no way to tell…"

"Yes." Elizabeth confirmed before the sentence could be completed. "It's going to be up to Abby when she wakes up. There's nothing we can say or do now."

No one knew what to do now, where to go, what to say, how to handle it. Not many were there the last time they had to sit and wait for the fate of a friend. "Thank you." Susan said to Elizabeth.

"I'm going to stay." Elizabeth added.

"You should go home to Ella." Susan replied as she squeezed her hand.

"I've already called her sitter, she's going to stay the night."

"When can we see her?" Luka asked.

"She'll be in recovery for four to five hours. We'll move her to a private room in ICU after that. One visitor at time."

"I've got to get downstairs." Luka said.

"You're on?" Neela asked.

"No, Abby is."

"I can stay too." Neela added. "The more help the better." She said with a small smile, hoping to lighten the mood a tiny bit.

"Yeah." Luka added as he made eye contact with Susan and Elizabeth. "Chuck." He said as he shook his hand. "Page me if anything changes." He added in Elizabeth's direction.

"Everyone will get pages." Elizabeth added.

"Susan." Chuck said. " We should go home, we need to talk to Susie."

"I know. Elizabeth…"

"I know."

"If anything…"

"You'll be the first."

"Thanks." She added again.

Susan sat quietly in the passenger side of the car as Chuck continued down the familiar path to their home. Shutting her eyes she couldn't push any of the thoughts out of her head. Exhaling she couldn't quiet them as they shouted loudly.

"Chloe, there isn't anything you can say to me."

"All I want is my daughter." She yelled, causing the people at the next table to stop causing.

"That's not possible." Susan said abruptly. "You've run out of chances. The courts have terminated your parental rights. You have no legal right to ever talk to YOUR daughter again. Chuck and I are going to give her a home, we are going to give her a chance. Give her one and let her go."

"Susan…" Chloe said emotionally with tears running down her face. "I'm clean."

"It's not enough. You haven't changed in over fifteen years…I can't keep bailing you out. I can't keep picking up the pieces."

"She isn't your daughter." She said angrily.

"No, but Brendan is my son, and I can't bear the thought of him having to go through half of what YOUR daughter has. And I blame myself everyday for allowing it to go on this long."

"Sus…"

"No, Chloe, I really want you to listen. You've moved her from town to town. You've left her in crack houses, on the street, and God knows where else. You lost her in New York where she was held captive in a mentally disturbed man's apartment. You're clean for a month and then you disappear. Joe is gone, there is no one. Susie lives with me. I love her, I'm going to give her everything in life she deserves. Stop calling, it upsets her." She said, by this time her tone and volume reflected her loss of patience. "I really do hope you get help."

"Susan."

"Goodbye Chloe." She said as she left twenty dollars on the table and walked out of the restaurant.

"What?" Susan asked as she popped open her eyes and looked at Chuck.

"We're home." He replied softly. "How are we going to do this?" He asked.

"I don't know. I don't think I can tell her."

"We have to. We have to be honest. No one's ever been truly honest with her. We have to."

"I know." Susan said softly as a new wave of tears fell from her face. Unbuckling he reached over to hug her.

"We're going to get through this."

"I did this." She said with as she exhaled.

"No, don't think for a moment you did. Do you hear me Susan? Don't blame yourself for this."

"Chuck, you don't know what I said to her. I told her to leave us alone. I told my sister that I didn't care what happened to her, that her daughter wasn't hers any more. I took whatever hope she had."

"Chloe has a problem. For whatever reason that problem is more important than anything else in her life. You did what was best for Susie, and don't think for a moment that it wasn't the right thing to do. You did it out of love and you sacrificed your own feelings and yourself to do it. This is not your fault, and that is what we have to tell Susie. This is not her fault."

"I know." She said exasperatedly. "God, do you have to be right all the time." She said with a small chuckle as she wiped the tears from her eyes.

"It's my tragic flaw." He said as he opened his door and headed over to her side of the car. "I'm right here with you, we can do this."

"I love you Chuck."