Disclaimer: I don't own ER nor its characters.

Chapter Seven: Everything Tastes Like Chicken

Where could he be? He thought to himself. The bathroom. Almost in a sprint the doctor quickly made his way to the men's room. No, not there. Making his way back to admit his mind raced as to where he could be, he wasn't a flight risk, he was sure of it. Not Sam, he said in his mind, anyone but her. "Um, has anyone seen Mr. Taylor?" He asked in a mixture of dread and embarrassment.

"Mr. Taylor as in your patient?" She said with smile she was showing ever so lightly.

"Yes." Luka said in defeat.

"Oh, well in that case, is that him looking for his umbrella down the hall." She pointed with all the sarcasm she could muster. "Dr. you should really keep an eye on your patients." Her smile breaking into its full size.

"uh huh." He replied as he started down the hall, noticing the slight pat Sam used to send him on his way.

"Luka, you still losing patients?" A familiar voice yelled.

"John!" Luka exclaimed, once again abandoning the pursuit of his patient.

"Some things never change around here." Carter managed to joke before Luka had him in a hug.

"When did you get back?"

"Right now." Pointing at his bags. After he said it Luka noticed how tired and worn he looked.

"I want to hear about everything, but…"

"Yeah, you should probably go find him."

"Right." He said as he once again went after Mr. Taylor.

"It's good to have you back." Sam said warmly.

"Yeah," he replied a little more seriously than with Luka, "has anything changed?"

"No." Sam replied simply, placing her hand on his shoulder. "Room 735."

"Thanks." He said picking his bags, "I'll see you later." Kissing her on the cheek he made his way through the halls he knew like the back of his hand towards the elevator.

"The Sudan, huh?" Abby said with a slight smile, denoting the mixture of emotions traveling through her body as they stood in the middle of the crowded airport.

"They need doctors." He replied almost jokingly with a grin he used to try to put her at ease.

"And that means you." She joked back, no sense in making it harder than it was. "Be careful." She touched his face.

"I'll be back."

"Uh huh." She made a face.

"Come on. Don't make me feel guilty the whole plane ride." He mockingly begged.

"Okay, good bye's are never my best so you better go get in line."

"Come here." He said as he pulled her close and hugged her. "Bye Abby."

"Bye John." She replied as she slowly backed away from his body.

"You know I love you." He said with a smile.

"So we're getting in touch with our feelings?" She asked.

"Just in case something happens."

"Not funny."

"I'll see you soon." He said in response.

"I love you too."

Standing outside the door it all suddenly seemed real. The horrible scenes he had seen in so many places somehow failed in comparison to this. Opening the door he immediately saw Susan lift her head from where it was resting on her arms.

"John." She said as she stood to meet him.

"Hey." He replied, taken by the strength in her embrace. "How are you?"

"Yeah, those kind of questions don't have short answers anymore."

"How about Abby?" He asked as he gazed around the room. The flowers, cards, and pictures showing how much she meant to everyone decorated almost the entire room. The monitors and IV's crowding around her limp body. It was enough to level him right there, how could this be happening?

"It's still the same. Her brain function is normal, there's no medical reason she hasn't woken up yet."

"There weren't any complications from the gunshot?"

"No, it was touch and go for a while but she's out of the woods."

"Except that she hasn't woken up." He replied as he moved to her bedside and placed his hand on her forehead. "Susan…"

"I'm just going to go get some coffee and call home."

"Thanks." He said as she quietly left the room.

She couldn't imagine the lengths he had gone to in order to secure such a speedy return. But she knew he would, and without hesitation. The mystery of how our lives are interconnected and intertwined had never been so evident to her. And yet it somehow also alluded her. What could make us risk our lives for one another? What could make us fly around the world or give up our own comfort to be there when there was nothing we could possibly do? There wasn't one logical answer she could think of, and yet she knew there was nothing more solid and obvious. It was undeniable, human connections, like a law or principle. You didn't know how gravity worked, but you knew it was real. She didn't know why or how these connections existed, but if nothing else John Carter and Abigail Lockhart were living testimonies to the fact that they did.

"Hi, I was just calling to check on the kids." She said as the babysitter picked up the phone. "Good. That's fine." She replied to the question. "Thanks so much, no you don't have to interrupt them. Just tell them I said I love them and I'll see them tonight. Thanks, bye." Homework and games, to go back to when life was that simple. Susan couldn't even remember life without kids. That's how fast and how much it'll change on you, she thought, you can't even remember what it used to be like.

"How's that coffee?" John asked as he emerged from Abby's room.

"Hospital coffee." She said with a slight smile.

"You want to grab an early dinner?" He asked.

"Yeah." She replied, noticing but not acknowledging the redness under his eyes. "You just got back into to town, where do you want to go?"

"I don't know. How about that diner around the corner?"

"Sounds like a plan." Susan replied.

The restaurant was crowded for five, but they still had been seated right away. The walls were covered with photographs that spanned back decades. Carter smiled to himself as he looked at the lives that had been connected and spent in this diner. "Did you order for us?" Susan asked after returning from the bathroom.

"Yeah." He replied as he brought his smile from the wall to her. "She said it shouldn't be too long."

"Good." She said with a sigh.

"How are you?" He asked. He had only been given the broad strokes of the situation through the few phone calls he was able to make on his impromptu journey home.

"We're back to that complicated question."

"Haven't you heard? My whole life is a complication." He joked in an attempt to get her to open up.

"Well, I'm about as well as you could expect. They still haven't found Chloe, I have no idea what Susie is really thinking, and then there's Abby."

"I can't believe all this happened." He admitted.

"Me either, I couldn't ever have thought Chloe would have done this because of…" Her voice trailed off and she took a sip of her water.

"You know…" John said shakily, unsure of how to proceed with the conversation he was sure they needed to have. "When I was stabbed, there was a lot of things that made it…No one had seen him, one of those crazy days when the attending is so swamped that the minor cases don't get as a close a look as they should. And I had been horrible to Lucy, we fought, all the time anyway, but I was just mean to her. I told her to handle it, she told me he was mentally unstable and I brushed her off. Abby was a med student back then and well when Lucy was stabbed, I mean actually being stabbed…" He paused, but Susan didn't say a word instead she let the silence bring comfort and resolve for him to finish what he had to say. "…When it was actually taking place I was…I was on the roof with Abby." He stopped there, in his mind he had said enough to make his point.

"John," Susan reached her hand across the table, "You had no way of know that was happening. There wasn't anything you could have done."

Even at that moment, in his heart, he still wanted to argue that he should have done something. Time and experience had taught him differently, but his heart couldn't let that responsibility go. "I know." He said in contradiction, "The same goes for you, this isn't your fault."

"When did you get so good at this?" She asked with a smile, trying to deflect the conversation.

"There's no way you could have known that Chloe would have taken it that far, and there's no way you could have know she would be hiding in the ambulance bay that night."

"John there's…"

"No Susan, it's not your fault just like it isn't my fault that Lucy died."

"How do you make yourself stop feeling it then?"

"You can't." He said honestly as he squeezed her hand. "You can listen to people tell you, you can tell yourself, but deep inside I still feel responsible. I don't know if it ever goes away."

The distance between the two had never been so little. They had been close, once, during their attempt at a relationship. But this was deeper, a bond forged by pain and regret that they could never had done anything about.

"This sucks." She sarcastically replied, once again lightening the mood.

"Yeah it does, you deal with it and slowly in a way get over it."

"But no matter how much you tell yourself,"

"It never really goes away." He finished.

"Way to help me out and cheer me up." She laughed as she let go of his hand and took another sip of her water.

"You know in the beginning I was trying to cheer you up, but that did take a rather negative turn." He chuckled himself. "I just wanted you to know that even though you know it isn't your fault I understand how you feel that way."

"Thanks." She said with a smile.

"Here is your salad." The waitress politely interrupted, setting the plates in front of the two.

The even progressed with light conversation about Brendan and Susie, the Sudan and Carter's experiences, Abby and all the things he had missed in the past eight months. The moments of silence and pauses were filled with thoughts that neither wanted to verbalize, the things that would make the evening once again take a downward turn into the realms of fault and pain. All Susan could think was how much she needed this to all work out, and John's mind ran towards how he couldn't deal with another loss, another problem that spiraled in to the worst case category. There had been too much of it in all their lives and it had to be their turn for some sort of a happy ending.

"How's your chicken?" He asked.

"Okay, it's chicken."

"After being overseas for so long you can't imagine how good this chicken tastes to me."

"This is your first meal back isn't it?"

"Yeah, and let me tell you…" BEEP BEEP BEEP Susan's pager sang out. Her first instinct was to be embarrassed she had forgotten to put it on vibrate, and then she realized it was her pager going off and the only pages she would be getting would be important.

"John." She said as she reached for the cell phone. Her hands shook as she dialed the number and anxiously awaited for the rings to stop and a voice to pick up.

"Detective Brooks." A deep voice answered as he picked up the phone. Susan grabbed John's arm again as he leaned in anticipation.

"This is Dr. Lewis, you paged me." She calmly answered.

"Dr. Lewis, we have your sister in custody. She's being held at the station, and we're waiting to book her so you can come and see her."

"Where'd you find her?" Susan asked.

"A local hot spot for those so inclined." He replied, dancing around the words crack house.

"Thank you detective I'm on my way there right now."

"I'll see you then." He said politely as he hung up the phone.

"Oh my God, they found Chloe." She said rather loudly to Carter. He didn't know how to reply. "I have to get to the station, I have to call Chuck, I have to go right now."

"I'll take you ." he offered, not wanting her to ride alone.

"Thanks." She said as they stood up and he left some money on the table.

"Dinners on me." He smiled. "Come on."